From Fear to Freedom: Overcoming the Fear of Being Authentic
00:00:00.000 | How do you think people could be,
00:00:02.480 | or do you think people should be more themselves,
00:00:04.280 | and how do they do that?
00:00:05.480 | - Well, it's just, I found out that,
00:00:08.760 | you know how there's some, there's like a,
00:00:11.120 | there's a sixth sense for humans.
00:00:13.480 | We can sense.
00:00:15.120 | We can sense when somebody's being authentic,
00:00:16.960 | and we can sense when somebody's not being authentic.
00:00:19.440 | Right?
00:00:21.040 | And I think,
00:00:22.040 | I think you just wanna make sure
00:00:26.080 | everybody around you knows that you're authentic.
00:00:28.440 | Because people just love authenticity.
00:00:30.120 | This is why you guys voted for Trump.
00:00:31.960 | Not to get political, but at least you can probably think
00:00:35.720 | that whatever Trump says, he actually believes.
00:00:38.640 | Whether you like it or not, right?
00:00:39.880 | But the authenticity is so attractive about humans,
00:00:44.000 | and I think it's just like such an underrated feature
00:00:48.200 | that many people don't seem to grasp,
00:00:52.200 | is the more authentic you look,
00:00:54.160 | which means the more you say what you really wanna say,
00:00:57.280 | it means you'll actually be loved.
00:00:58.400 | It's very counterintuitive.
00:01:00.280 | It's very counterintuitive.
00:01:01.320 | Because everybody is living in this act.
00:01:05.280 | We're all acting.
00:01:06.600 | You're smiling when you're supposed to smile.
00:01:08.200 | You're shaking hands when you're supposed to shake hands.
00:01:09.720 | You're putting a tie when you're supposed to wear a tie.
00:01:11.840 | We're all acting to each other until we die.
00:01:14.280 | But at some point you have to stop acting,
00:01:16.320 | and just like be who you really are.
00:01:18.040 | You know, I once went to this conference in Switzerland.
00:01:20.200 | I'm not gonna say the name of the conference.
00:01:22.000 | But man, it was the most boring thing I've seen in my life.
00:01:27.960 | Where everybody pretended to be interested
00:01:30.280 | in everything everybody else was saying,
00:01:31.880 | but I know for a fact, for a fact,
00:01:33.680 | that deep down inside, everybody was bored.
00:01:36.080 | But during the conversations, they were like,
00:01:37.400 | "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, great point, great point.
00:01:39.400 | "Well, I really love your suit."
00:01:40.600 | It was such an act that made me realize this is not it.
00:01:45.600 | This is not it.
00:01:48.280 | - Do you think people do that
00:01:49.120 | because they're afraid to be authentic?
00:01:53.200 | Not because they're afraid of who they are,
00:01:54.640 | but because they're afraid other people will judge them?
00:01:57.080 | - Yeah, I mean, you don't wanna rock the boat.
00:01:59.320 | I mean, if you're making millions of dollars in Switzerland,
00:02:02.000 | you don't wanna rock the boat.
00:02:02.840 | I mean, I'll be the nicest guy ever
00:02:04.000 | if I have a million dollars guaranteed out of it, right?
00:02:06.640 | So I think there's too much to lose.
00:02:10.920 | And that's why you have to be nice to each other.
00:02:14.280 | But when there's nothing to lose,
00:02:16.280 | then you become who you really are.
00:02:17.920 | And you see it when there is war.
00:02:20.000 | Oh, I have nothing to lose now.
00:02:21.320 | I'll just go be myself.
00:02:22.320 | I can go loot, I can do whatever I want.
00:02:24.440 | But when you have a lot to lose,
00:02:25.800 | like that's why rich people's circles,
00:02:27.480 | everybody's so nice to each other.
00:02:29.080 | Because one mistake, you lose millions of dollars.
00:02:31.840 | So I think maybe the reason why we're nice
00:02:33.640 | is 'cause we're scared of losing
00:02:35.200 | what we have already achieved.
00:02:36.840 | And I see it myself.
00:02:38.120 | When I have something to lose,
00:02:39.280 | I'm actually a little bit nicer to others.
00:02:41.440 | I'm a little bit less myself.
00:02:43.880 | Now I've come to a point where if I lose everything,
00:02:46.920 | I still have some money in the bank, so I'm okay.
00:02:49.880 | And that's why I think you see Elon Musk
00:02:51.760 | to be so himself, so crazy.
00:02:54.880 | Because he has nothing to lose.
00:02:56.480 | He has the world's money.
00:02:58.600 | That's it.
00:02:59.560 | What's the worst thing?
00:03:00.400 | He's never gonna be homeless.
00:03:01.360 | So in a way, if your livelihood is on the line
00:03:06.360 | with what you're about to say,
00:03:08.000 | you're gonna say the nicest thing ever.
00:03:10.000 | - It's interesting, I talked to the,
00:03:11.240 | I don't know if you know Bill Perkins.
00:03:12.920 | He wrote a book called "Die With Zero."
00:03:14.440 | And as an experiment-- - "Die With Zero."
00:03:16.000 | - "Die With Zero."
00:03:16.840 | As an experiment, he decided to go get
00:03:20.320 | some really old clothes and go panhandle for a few days
00:03:23.680 | in, I can't remember what city he was in.
00:03:25.880 | And what he did was he realized,
00:03:27.160 | wow, if I just sit on the street and beg for money,
00:03:30.600 | I can make, I actually think it was a crazy amount of money.
00:03:32.720 | It was like $50,000 a year.
00:03:34.280 | - Wow.
00:03:35.120 | - And he was like, oh, so I'll never be homeless.
00:03:37.320 | Like, I don't have anything to worry about.
00:03:39.040 | Like, if everything gets taken away,
00:03:41.440 | I can go live on however much money
00:03:43.600 | I can make begging on the street.
00:03:45.080 | And it mentally got rid of that.
00:03:47.680 | I'm curious, most people listening here
00:03:50.640 | are not at the kind of wealth that they're,
00:03:52.480 | getting millions of dollars in conferences in Switzerland.
00:03:55.720 | But they're kind of in this middle ground
00:03:57.200 | where they're probably not being their authentic self.
00:04:00.680 | You've talked about having the courage to be disliked.
00:04:03.600 | And I think a lot of times in a conversation,
00:04:05.040 | someone's not willing to say something
00:04:06.480 | 'cause they're like, ooh, maybe someone won't like it.
00:04:08.080 | Oh, maybe I'll offend someone.
00:04:09.800 | Even though I really feel it.
00:04:11.240 | And I don't think that means
00:04:13.480 | intentionally trying to offend people.
00:04:15.920 | What would you tell someone who's like,
00:04:17.480 | hey, Nassir, how do I just be more me?
00:04:20.800 | - I think people should aim to be disliked.
00:04:23.800 | And this is really counterintuitive.
00:04:25.200 | Again, very counterintuitive, very.
00:04:27.720 | You should aim to be disliked.
00:04:29.800 | Because the way I've seen the world work is
00:04:34.520 | for every one person that dislikes you,
00:04:36.960 | there's an equivalent person
00:04:38.520 | on the other side of the world that loves you.
00:04:41.560 | And so the more somebody dislikes you,
00:04:43.600 | the more another person loves you.
00:04:46.000 | So it's a very polarizing thing, right?
00:04:48.120 | But if somebody doesn't dislike you,
00:04:51.240 | you know what it also means?
00:04:52.600 | Nobody actually loves you.
00:04:54.240 | So, and this is why most politicians in democracies
00:04:58.680 | end up with like 50-50%.
00:05:00.600 | Now, why is that?
00:05:01.760 | Because politicians need security and everything
00:05:04.560 | because there are people who really dislike them
00:05:07.360 | and wanna kill them.
00:05:08.240 | That's why they need security.
00:05:09.640 | And there are people who really love them
00:05:11.440 | and wanna vote for them forever.
00:05:13.440 | And so, I think people should aim to live life
00:05:18.440 | like a politician, which is have some people
00:05:22.320 | that clearly dislike the way you live life,
00:05:24.720 | but also on the other side, you'll have your people.
00:05:27.760 | And people are just attracted to big ideas, big opinions.
00:05:32.760 | They're attracted to people who are authentic.
00:05:35.240 | And you know, I hate Gary Vee, okay?
00:05:38.640 | Just to be very open about it.
00:05:40.240 | Like, I'm not a fan.
00:05:41.600 | I'm not a fan of the Gary Vee style,
00:05:43.600 | but he's a genius for doing it
00:05:47.240 | because that same style is why he has a diehard fandom.
00:05:51.280 | And that's powerful.
00:05:53.240 | And I'm trying to emulate Gary Vee
00:05:56.160 | as much as I hate his style.
00:05:57.200 | I'm trying to emulate it by being who I am
00:05:59.440 | and get my fair share of haters.
00:06:00.760 | I think I have 30 million haters or so.
00:06:02.840 | But on the other side, I have 60, 70 million lovers.
00:06:05.680 | I love living like that.
00:06:09.760 | - And does it make you happy?
00:06:11.160 | - Very happy.
00:06:12.360 | That's probably the only thing that makes me happy
00:06:13.840 | is knowing how much I'm worth hating.
00:06:18.840 | Because it also means I'm worth loving by somebody else.
00:06:24.240 | It's because there's something to hate.
00:06:26.440 | I mean, like anybody who lives life without being hated on
00:06:32.640 | is not somebody who's done any meaningful change.
00:06:35.320 | Most change comes with resistance.
00:06:37.440 | And if you are not getting resistance for your ideas
00:06:39.920 | and what you believe in and what you like
00:06:41.360 | and what you wanna do in your career,
00:06:43.080 | then you're not pushing the envelope enough.
00:06:44.720 | And if you're not pushing the envelope enough,
00:06:47.240 | your life is inconsequential.
00:06:49.200 | That's how I think about it.
00:06:50.440 | Of course, these are very extreme thoughts.