Nicodemus Christopher on Living With Peace, Choosing Discipline, and Almost Fighting MPJ
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat hip hop music)
00:00:03.240 | - Hi, welcome back to another episode of Curious Mike.
00:00:12.720 | Today I'm here with my guy, my right hand man, Nicodemus.
00:00:15.840 | My manager, my trainer, security, all that, all in one.
00:00:21.800 | So, I'm excited to have you on Curious Mike.
00:00:24.920 | It's been a long time coming.
00:00:26.360 | Yeah, so, for those of you that don't know,
00:00:29.840 | we met back in college when I went to Mizzou.
00:00:33.120 | He was my strength coach at the time.
00:00:35.280 | And we kind of developed a relationship over time there,
00:00:38.040 | but nothing to what it's like now.
00:00:40.480 | Kind of, what was your, from your perspective,
00:00:43.800 | how was it when I committed to Mizzou,
00:00:45.480 | when I came there and kind of walked through,
00:00:47.600 | like, what you remember from that time when I was in Mizzou?
00:00:50.560 | - Bro, that was a roller coaster,
00:00:53.680 | because that was our first year at Mizzou.
00:00:57.280 | We had just got there, obviously, with Coach Martin.
00:01:01.040 | There was a ton of excitement around the program.
00:01:03.920 | And then, all of a sudden, we signed Michael Porter Jr.,
00:01:08.160 | we signed Jontae Porter, we get Blake Harris,
00:01:12.040 | in addition to the guys that we already had.
00:01:15.080 | And automatically, America was on notice.
00:01:18.440 | You know what I mean?
00:01:19.280 | It was like, oh my goodness,
00:01:20.640 | you have to watch out for Mizzou next season.
00:01:24.800 | And then, I just remember, we go through that whole summer,
00:01:29.000 | and I was really surprised at the work and the effort
00:01:32.480 | and all that that you guys put in.
00:01:33.960 | Like, 'cause there's young guys,
00:01:35.040 | you see freshmen who come in,
00:01:36.600 | and some of 'em have a work ethic, some of 'em don't.
00:01:40.880 | But you, in particular, you were serious from day one,
00:01:44.840 | specifically in the weight room.
00:01:46.360 | It was like, what is it gonna take to get better?
00:01:48.400 | You did everything that was required.
00:01:50.440 | You didn't necessarily like the 6 a.m.'s in the sand.
00:01:55.080 | - You're getting up early like that, yeah.
00:01:56.680 | - But, yeah, and then, you get to the,
00:02:00.240 | everything's going well.
00:02:02.720 | And then, I remember we get to that first game, right?
00:02:06.520 | And then, just something was off.
00:02:09.840 | And I remember you saying that you couldn't go.
00:02:12.600 | And then, we go through that whole situation, right?
00:02:15.520 | Where, right before your first game of college basketball,
00:02:19.920 | due to the injury, you couldn't play.
00:02:22.120 | And then, we have the ups and downs and ups and downs
00:02:26.000 | to trying to get you back out there on the court,
00:02:28.760 | trying to get you ready for, really,
00:02:30.000 | the next level at that point.
00:02:31.600 | And then, you had that desire to come back.
00:02:34.400 | So, you came back and played in the NCAA tournament game
00:02:37.160 | against Florida State, right?
00:02:38.560 | I think is who you played against.
00:02:39.400 | - Yeah, no, I came back against--
00:02:40.320 | - Was it Georgia?
00:02:41.160 | - I came back against Georgia. - Georgia.
00:02:42.680 | - In the SEC tournament, then Florida State.
00:02:44.840 | - Florida State in the NCAA tournament.
00:02:47.280 | So, there were a lot of ups and downs
00:02:51.360 | in between, but through that whole process,
00:02:55.480 | you and I formed a really good relationship.
00:02:57.560 | And we stayed in contact and kept working together
00:03:01.200 | after you left to go to the NBA.
00:03:05.440 | And then, shoot, here we are now.
00:03:07.400 | - Yeah.
00:03:08.240 | So, going back to that time,
00:03:12.160 | you being a young strength coach,
00:03:13.400 | you were like boys with a lot of the players, you know?
00:03:16.600 | What was, you tell me sometimes about how, like,
00:03:20.200 | we would be going out, not you,
00:03:22.120 | but, like, some of us would be going out,
00:03:23.440 | but you would have, like, a fake Snapchat,
00:03:27.400 | like, acting like you was, like, a girl,
00:03:29.560 | to, like, add the players to, like, see what we were on.
00:03:34.560 | Explain your motive behind that.
00:03:36.920 | - Yeah, so, there was, I mean, you just have to get,
00:03:41.920 | I had to get creative, right?
00:03:43.680 | Because I think part of my responsibility
00:03:47.320 | as the strength and conditioning coach at that time
00:03:50.040 | was just to make sure that you guys
00:03:51.880 | were putting yourselves in position to be successful,
00:03:55.280 | to be your eyes and ears for things
00:03:57.200 | that you might not know that could happen,
00:04:00.480 | that are happening out in the world,
00:04:02.640 | and just be as protective or as helpful as I can.
00:04:06.240 | And a part of that was understanding
00:04:08.800 | how you guys were moving around
00:04:10.200 | on the streets in the weekends.
00:04:11.400 | So, whether it was having a burner account on Snap
00:04:16.760 | or having a burner account on IG,
00:04:19.880 | or even, you know, there were times
00:04:21.840 | where befriending you all's significant others, right?
00:04:26.560 | And you're saying, "Coach Nick,
00:04:27.600 | "I can't believe Michael would do this,"
00:04:29.720 | or, "I can't believe Blake would do this,"
00:04:31.760 | and this and that and this and that.
00:04:33.520 | You know, it was, by any means necessary,
00:04:35.320 | just keeping an eye in the air to the streets
00:04:38.160 | and figuring out, you know,
00:04:39.760 | how y'all were moving on the weekends and during the week.
00:04:42.760 | - Yeah, that's funny, that's hilarious to talk about.
00:04:46.680 | So, yeah, you have a very, I'd say,
00:04:49.720 | like a protective nature
00:04:51.040 | about your protective personality.
00:04:53.320 | One story in particular that I think is interesting
00:04:58.320 | is the story about your younger sister.
00:05:02.440 | - Yeah. - And you talked,
00:05:03.440 | you told me one time about how your younger sister,
00:05:06.280 | she was, I think it was her roommate's boyfriend
00:05:08.720 | or something, and her roommate's boyfriend, like,
00:05:12.480 | disrespected your sister,
00:05:14.560 | and you said you and your brother flew all the way
00:05:16.400 | to, I think-- - West Lafayette, Indiana.
00:05:18.720 | - Oh, yeah, Indiana to check him.
00:05:20.640 | What was that story?
00:05:21.760 | What happened there?
00:05:22.880 | Have you always kind of had a protective nature?
00:05:24.920 | Was that just something you grew up with, or what, you know?
00:05:28.200 | - Yeah, because, I mean, early on, it comes from our father.
00:05:31.280 | I'm one of seven.
00:05:34.040 | I have an older brother, and then I have five sisters.
00:05:37.600 | And, I mean, we came from very humble beginnings.
00:05:40.920 | My pops moved around in the streets,
00:05:43.840 | so he taught us some of those lessons
00:05:46.760 | and some of the things that were necessary
00:05:48.440 | for us to survive in the streets
00:05:50.920 | and to protect our sisters and protect our mom
00:05:53.400 | was the number one priority.
00:05:55.840 | You know, even from a young age, I can remember me and G,
00:05:59.080 | Gary, my older brother, were very, very young,
00:06:01.920 | and my dad would always say, "When he's gone,
00:06:04.240 | "my brother's the man of the house,
00:06:06.200 | "and then it's my job to help my brother
00:06:08.080 | "be in the man of the house,
00:06:08.960 | "protect my mom and my sisters."
00:06:10.800 | So, from a young age, pops ingrained that in us
00:06:14.960 | over and over and over.
00:06:16.160 | So, I mean, when we didn't know what else to do,
00:06:18.960 | we knew that our responsibility
00:06:20.800 | was always to protect our mom and our sisters.
00:06:23.600 | And that was just an instance
00:06:24.920 | where my little sister, she was in college,
00:06:28.120 | and I remember getting that phone call.
00:06:31.120 | She called my brother and I, and she was crying,
00:06:33.640 | and then she started going off.
00:06:34.840 | My sister's very independent,
00:06:36.480 | so if she's to the point to where she's crying,
00:06:38.280 | you know something's going down.
00:06:40.720 | And I guess she had a confrontation
00:06:42.360 | with a roommate's boyfriend.
00:06:44.480 | A roommate's boyfriend has some choice words.
00:06:47.780 | So, my brother and I already knew what it was.
00:06:50.880 | - Nah, we need some circumstance.
00:06:52.360 | - So, I mean, it was essentially a situation
00:06:56.200 | where we hopped on a plane, went to West Lafayette.
00:06:59.840 | There was a confrontation.
00:07:01.340 | - With him directly?
00:07:03.520 | - Yeah. - Oh, really?
00:07:04.480 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:05.320 | And then, post-confrontation, all of his things
00:07:08.480 | were packed up in black trash bags
00:07:10.320 | and put on the street corner,
00:07:11.520 | and that was the last time they had communication with him.
00:07:15.040 | One of those type situations, so.
00:07:17.160 | - I like it, I like it, I like it.
00:07:19.760 | Nah, I can't think of any times I've really had to,
00:07:23.000 | you know, both my sisters are older,
00:07:24.400 | but I can't remember any times
00:07:26.160 | me and my brothers have had to,
00:07:28.360 | but we'd be on the same type of time, for sure.
00:07:30.280 | - Yeah.
00:07:31.120 | - Again, switching gears a little bit,
00:07:33.320 | I wanna get into this book that you recently wrote.
00:07:38.280 | - Yeah.
00:07:39.120 | - So, you wrote a book.
00:07:39.960 | First of all, what was your motivation
00:07:41.280 | behind writing the book, and what is it about?
00:07:44.320 | - Yeah, so it was, shoot,
00:07:46.960 | over the last 14, 15 years, right,
00:07:50.960 | working with collegiate athletes,
00:07:53.760 | working with professional athletes,
00:07:55.260 | working with businessmen and businesswomen,
00:07:58.000 | you see people who reach this pinnacle of success,
00:08:01.800 | of what we define as success,
00:08:03.840 | but behind the scenes, they still, for some reason,
00:08:07.160 | are never able to find peace.
00:08:09.600 | So, like, that concept just,
00:08:12.960 | I almost became obsessed with it.
00:08:14.740 | So, I challenged myself.
00:08:16.520 | I was like, for the next year, every single day,
00:08:20.040 | I had to spend an hour a day studying peace
00:08:23.600 | to really figure out what it was,
00:08:25.960 | how do you find it, how do you help people achieve it,
00:08:29.640 | and then I ended up, it was over a year straight,
00:08:32.600 | over a year, 365 days straight,
00:08:34.840 | where I studied peace and it kept going,
00:08:37.400 | but through that study, I came to realize that order,
00:08:41.980 | the word order, order was a prerequisite to peace.
00:08:45.800 | So, when people are able to find order in their lives,
00:08:50.040 | then that sets them up to have peace, right?
00:08:53.880 | And that word peace, if you look at it,
00:08:56.000 | if you look at the etymology of it,
00:08:57.480 | it's so rich in meaning.
00:08:59.840 | It means wholeness, it means health,
00:09:02.080 | it means prosperity, which means to move forward.
00:09:04.960 | It means protection, it means completion.
00:09:06.920 | So, when you have order in your life,
00:09:09.480 | you set yourself up to have a healthier life,
00:09:12.280 | to have a more prosperous life, to have all these things.
00:09:15.360 | So, it was just through my studies,
00:09:18.300 | through experience in life with guys like you
00:09:21.280 | and seeing this struggle to find peace
00:09:23.560 | and finding out that order was a prerequisite,
00:09:26.320 | I was like, yo, this is something
00:09:28.720 | that I want to share with others,
00:09:30.800 | specifically people who are in your situation.
00:09:34.200 | So, I knew from the beginning,
00:09:36.300 | it wasn't gonna be a traditional book,
00:09:39.100 | but I've been practicing journaling for over 10 years now,
00:09:44.100 | and then it clicked.
00:09:45.160 | It was like, well, I believe in the,
00:09:48.000 | there's this concept called instinctive elaboration,
00:09:50.320 | where if you ask a questions,
00:09:52.140 | questions for even a quick second, hijack the brain,
00:09:55.560 | and you have an opportunity to be introspective
00:09:57.840 | and to just practice self-examination.
00:09:59.880 | So, the way that I decided to do it
00:10:02.040 | is to ask a series of 17 very introspective questions
00:10:07.040 | to where you have to look yourself in the mirror.
00:10:09.640 | And the hope is that as you find your identity
00:10:13.920 | over the course of answering those seven questions
00:10:16.580 | and start to establish order in your life,
00:10:19.340 | then that's where you can really start to walk in the peace
00:10:22.120 | that we should all be walking in.
00:10:23.840 | - Right. - Yeah.
00:10:24.840 | - So, peace, identity, all these words that you're using,
00:10:28.840 | I feel like are words that are super important
00:10:32.240 | to a person of faith, a person of God.
00:10:34.880 | I feel like people that kind of are in the world
00:10:36.840 | trying to do what the world is doing,
00:10:39.320 | their goals would be more happiness,
00:10:42.060 | or their goals would be more pleasure,
00:10:44.200 | but you used the word peace.
00:10:46.320 | So, how would you say peace differs from happiness?
00:10:50.560 | 'Cause you said like,
00:10:52.120 | you found that even some of the most successful people,
00:10:54.360 | they were lacking in peace,
00:10:55.880 | which is something I've seen too.
00:10:57.000 | Some of the most happiest people,
00:10:58.560 | most famous people, most rich people,
00:11:00.800 | peace is the thing that they're lacking,
00:11:02.720 | but it's also the thing that they don't know how to find.
00:11:05.960 | So, how would you say peace differs from happiness?
00:11:10.020 | - Well, I would say that,
00:11:11.680 | obviously happiness is an emotion.
00:11:14.160 | One of the words that pops in my mind
00:11:16.040 | that's synonymous with peace,
00:11:17.200 | if you look at the, like I said,
00:11:18.440 | the etymology of that word peace is fulfillment, right?
00:11:21.920 | You see people all the time who are quote unquote
00:11:24.120 | at this pinnacle of success,
00:11:26.440 | and then they're depressed, or they're committing suicide,
00:11:30.120 | or they're lacking fulfillment.
00:11:33.000 | That word peace to be complete, to be whole,
00:11:35.960 | fulfillment is something that alludes so many people.
00:11:40.960 | So, whether you wanna think of it as the word peace,
00:11:44.460 | or even wellness, or fulfillment,
00:11:46.360 | I think all of us were placed on this earth
00:11:49.120 | to fulfill something,
00:11:51.320 | and that's why I use the word identity,
00:11:53.320 | because you have to know who you are,
00:11:55.520 | and what your identity is,
00:11:57.020 | and what you were placed here to do
00:11:58.400 | in order to fulfill that.
00:11:59.640 | So, you can make a billion dollars,
00:12:02.760 | but not be doing the thing that you were created to do,
00:12:06.200 | and you don't have fulfillment.
00:12:07.680 | You can be the best CEO,
00:12:09.600 | but at home, your life is in turmoil, right?
00:12:13.400 | Because you focus so much on the professional accolades
00:12:17.840 | that you forgot that you had a wife and kids at home.
00:12:22.920 | You know, it's interesting you asked that question.
00:12:25.480 | I saw a quote the other day.
00:12:26.880 | It said that in 20 years from now,
00:12:30.620 | the only person or the only people
00:12:33.240 | that are gonna remember that you worked overtime
00:12:36.100 | are your kids.
00:12:37.800 | And that hit me differently, right?
00:12:39.440 | Because you see, I see it all the time,
00:12:41.520 | these people who grind, grind, grind, grind, grind,
00:12:44.160 | they work, work, work, and they find something,
00:12:47.760 | what I think they do is they reach an achievement,
00:12:50.480 | it's not success.
00:12:51.600 | Because success can't just be external,
00:12:53.980 | it can't just be money.
00:12:55.280 | There's two parts to success,
00:12:56.600 | there's the internal part and the external part.
00:12:59.040 | So, yes, there's the joy and the happiness and all that,
00:13:02.120 | but you don't wanna have that and be broke.
00:13:03.640 | So, I think that that's why I love the word fulfillment
00:13:06.400 | is because I'm having professional success,
00:13:09.080 | but I'm also having personal success,
00:13:11.040 | relational success, psychological success,
00:13:13.900 | so it's like the whole complete picture coming together.
00:13:16.700 | - From my experience, and I don't know what you think,
00:13:20.120 | peace is something that, like it talks in the Bible
00:13:23.560 | about it's something you search for,
00:13:26.120 | but then it's something that you work to keep,
00:13:28.440 | like you work to maintain peace.
00:13:30.680 | So, it's something that can come and go.
00:13:32.840 | What are the main ways, I mean, you talk about order,
00:13:35.660 | but what are the practical ways
00:13:37.900 | you think that you can maintain peace?
00:13:41.000 | Do you think it's the routine, it's the habits,
00:13:44.120 | or it's waking up early?
00:13:46.240 | What do you think, if you had to give a few practical ways
00:13:48.960 | where you can maintain peace,
00:13:50.080 | regardless of the ups and downs of life?
00:13:53.000 | - Number one, find your identity.
00:13:55.600 | I think that everything that is set apart
00:13:59.360 | or set aside for you is in your identity,
00:14:02.380 | because when you find out who you are,
00:14:05.260 | then you'll find out why you're here,
00:14:08.200 | and then that's where you start to prioritize your time
00:14:11.880 | and your effort towards that, right?
00:14:14.020 | So, I think identity is,
00:14:15.600 | finding your identity is so important.
00:14:18.080 | I think we're suffering from an identity crisis in the world
00:14:20.600 | because everybody is putting on these false identities,
00:14:24.840 | especially guys like you, you have fans telling you,
00:14:29.000 | this is who you're supposed to be.
00:14:30.240 | You have friends telling you,
00:14:31.380 | this is who you're supposed to be.
00:14:32.520 | You have an organization telling you,
00:14:34.480 | this is who you're supposed to be.
00:14:35.580 | You have a family telling you,
00:14:37.560 | this is who you're supposed to be.
00:14:39.380 | But it's like, at what point
00:14:40.700 | do you actually find that identity?
00:14:42.600 | Me being a believer,
00:14:44.480 | I believe that we get our identity from God.
00:14:46.800 | I believe in this concept of original intent,
00:14:49.760 | where it's like he originally intended for us
00:14:52.560 | to be something, to do something,
00:14:55.400 | to expand his kingdom on earth.
00:14:57.080 | So, I think that everything starts
00:14:58.600 | with finding the right identity.
00:15:01.480 | I think the second thing is making sure
00:15:03.240 | that you have the right influences around you,
00:15:05.840 | because who you're with and who you're around
00:15:09.360 | will significantly impact the decisions you make.
00:15:12.800 | Interesting thing about that,
00:15:15.160 | I had a conversation probably about a year ago
00:15:17.720 | with a guy by the name of Dr. Mehran Serf.
00:15:20.840 | He's a world-renowned neuroscientist.
00:15:23.120 | I was actually listening to the playback
00:15:25.240 | of our conversation this morning.
00:15:27.080 | And one of the things that he talked about,
00:15:29.000 | his big thing is human behavior and changing human behavior.
00:15:32.640 | And he said that one of the biggest things
00:15:34.240 | that you can do to impact human behavior
00:15:36.960 | is this concept of proximity, right?
00:15:39.800 | He said that the brain actually has the ability
00:15:42.200 | to learn through osmosis.
00:15:44.160 | So, the example he gave me, he was like,
00:15:45.880 | "If you wanna be a better comedian,
00:15:47.760 | you can go read a book about a thousand jokes,
00:15:50.120 | or you can go spend time with a comedian.
00:15:52.000 | And if you go spend time with a comedian
00:15:53.720 | because you're in proximity to them,
00:15:55.840 | you'll learn how to be a comedian."
00:15:57.680 | So, I think identity, I think influence,
00:16:00.500 | I think instructions, I'm big.
00:16:03.960 | So, instructions for me are just like those habits
00:16:07.160 | and those principles and those things
00:16:09.120 | that we live by that guide us.
00:16:11.280 | You know me, I'm big on habits, I'm big on discipline.
00:16:14.560 | So, I think that making sure
00:16:16.320 | that you're following some type of principles
00:16:19.360 | and you're willing to stick to those principles,
00:16:22.220 | I think that those things lead to peace.
00:16:24.720 | And then there's additionally,
00:16:25.680 | there's a scripture in the Bible that also says,
00:16:27.600 | "Wisdom's paths are peace."
00:16:30.680 | So, when you practice wisdom, then that path leads to peace.
00:16:35.000 | So, I think that it's important
00:16:36.880 | that you're following the right instructions
00:16:39.320 | and your principles and you're applying those principles.
00:16:42.320 | And when you apply them, you'll have peace, excuse me.
00:16:45.080 | So, identity, influence, and instructions.
00:16:50.080 | - Yeah, I mean, I think in my life,
00:16:52.120 | when I've applied those things,
00:16:54.680 | sometimes better, sometimes worse.
00:16:57.240 | But when I'm doing them consistently,
00:16:58.840 | that's when I have most peace,
00:16:59.840 | regardless of the good games, the bad games.
00:17:03.160 | But like you said, I feel like our culture
00:17:05.480 | and a lot of young people, you know,
00:17:07.800 | it's an identity crisis.
00:17:09.360 | I feel like even the people that are doing these things,
00:17:14.360 | maybe they are using Instagram
00:17:17.800 | and that's their whole job or whatever.
00:17:19.680 | I just feel like there's a lot of people
00:17:20.920 | that are doing things in life right now
00:17:22.520 | that don't align with their purpose.
00:17:24.680 | Like you said, you believe everyone
00:17:26.520 | was put on here for a purpose.
00:17:28.680 | So, how do you think you find your purpose?
00:17:33.040 | For me, I mean, I've always been told,
00:17:34.960 | like you evaluate kind of your skillset.
00:17:37.680 | - Yeah.
00:17:38.520 | - What you're good at.
00:17:39.360 | And then at the end of the day,
00:17:41.000 | like if you're a believer,
00:17:41.840 | you believe that the main thing is to push the kingdom,
00:17:45.280 | draw more people to God.
00:17:46.720 | But how do you think?
00:17:47.720 | 'Cause I just know, man, there's a lot of young people.
00:17:49.880 | I got a lot of friends who, you know, even me,
00:17:52.760 | I know if I didn't make it in basketball
00:17:54.400 | or like it for some reason,
00:17:55.520 | if one of those injuries was career ending,
00:17:58.720 | like I don't know where I would have gone from there.
00:18:00.240 | I don't know how I would have used,
00:18:01.920 | 'cause I've always felt like my gift was basketball.
00:18:05.400 | So, even talking to the people who felt,
00:18:08.520 | or they grew up doing one thing
00:18:10.560 | and then they didn't make it to where they wanted to
00:18:12.440 | and now they're having to shift their whole life.
00:18:14.920 | Like, how do you find your purpose?
00:18:17.240 | Because I just feel like, man,
00:18:18.120 | a lot of people are walking around here
00:18:20.040 | doing things they don't wanna do.
00:18:21.360 | They have jobs they don't wanna have.
00:18:23.280 | And I mean, that's a depressing thought.
00:18:25.680 | I'm glad, you know, basketball worked out for me,
00:18:27.400 | but it could have easily not.
00:18:28.840 | So, how do you find what you're placed on earth for?
00:18:32.920 | - Yeah, you know, so that reminds me of a,
00:18:35.800 | I was watching an interview,
00:18:37.040 | this was probably some years ago,
00:18:39.200 | and it was Virgil Abloh, who before his passing,
00:18:44.240 | he was at one of the Ivy League schools
00:18:46.480 | and he was doing an interview.
00:18:48.160 | And somehow they got on the topic of purpose
00:18:51.000 | and he had said it so clearly in a way that stuck with me.
00:18:54.280 | And he said, "Find your through line."
00:18:56.600 | So, what essentially your through line is,
00:18:58.640 | is you look over the course of your life
00:19:01.040 | and there's this string of something
00:19:03.880 | that you just couldn't shake, right?
00:19:06.440 | And in looking at that through line, you'll find purpose.
00:19:10.240 | And the thing that I added to that,
00:19:11.920 | that I started to realize is,
00:19:14.440 | oftentimes we get mad at the frustrations that we have,
00:19:18.640 | but I think your unique frustrations
00:19:21.400 | are a clue as to what your purpose is.
00:19:23.840 | Like for me, for example, I can't,
00:19:25.840 | the thing that keeps me up at night is when I see need
00:19:29.320 | or when I see somebody who is suffering
00:19:31.960 | from some type of disorder or dysfunction
00:19:34.360 | or has chaos in their life.
00:19:35.720 | So, from a young age, my mom will tell you,
00:19:38.520 | like I always had a heart for the homeless people
00:19:40.560 | or people who were dealing with some type of dysfunction.
00:19:42.880 | So, over the whole course of my life,
00:19:45.480 | need has bothered me
00:19:47.080 | or disorder and dysfunction has bothered me.
00:19:49.200 | So, I think you look at your unique frustrations,
00:19:52.240 | obviously your unique abilities,
00:19:54.040 | like there's something that you can do
00:19:57.160 | that surpasses the average skill level, right?
00:20:01.240 | You have a unique ability to do something.
00:20:03.500 | I think there's, I heard an acronym before
00:20:07.360 | for finding your purpose, it's called SHAPE.
00:20:09.720 | So, you look at your spiritual gifts, right?
00:20:12.480 | You look at your heart, the unique passions that you have.
00:20:15.880 | You look at your unique abilities and your attitudes.
00:20:20.360 | P stands for personality.
00:20:22.120 | I think that each of us have some unique aspects
00:20:25.000 | to our personality that make us who we are.
00:20:27.840 | If I'm giving an example for myself, very introverted,
00:20:32.040 | prefer to be behind the camera,
00:20:33.600 | behind the scenes and all that.
00:20:35.360 | Why is that important for my purpose
00:20:38.080 | is because it was my introvertedness
00:20:41.080 | that pushed me to be okay with,
00:20:44.060 | instead of moving around this way or that way,
00:20:47.220 | just be at the crib studying, right?
00:20:49.520 | And soaking in this information
00:20:51.360 | and learning how to apply this information
00:20:53.080 | so that I can help young guys like you.
00:20:56.280 | So, I think that, and then E is experiences.
00:20:59.520 | So, you look at the unique experiences
00:21:01.360 | that you've had over the course of your life.
00:21:03.400 | And if you look at all those, your personality,
00:21:05.520 | unique abilities, unique frustrations, unique experiences,
00:21:08.560 | and even educationally,
00:21:10.080 | the things that you just have a knack for doing.
00:21:12.840 | If you look at all those,
00:21:13.840 | those are all clues that point towards why you're here.
00:21:17.000 | And I think most importantly is,
00:21:19.200 | with regards to the identity crisis,
00:21:21.240 | is you have to connect to the right source.
00:21:24.000 | That's why, for me, my belief is so important
00:21:27.040 | because I can't get my identity from the outside world.
00:21:30.960 | Like, I can't get my identity from social media.
00:21:33.240 | I can't get my identity from popular culture.
00:21:36.400 | I can't get my identity from anything else
00:21:38.860 | because it's a flawed identity.
00:21:41.440 | - 100%.
00:21:42.280 | So, I think one thing that,
00:21:46.300 | this is just a random thing I came up with
00:21:48.480 | as we're talking about peace.
00:21:49.560 | One thing I've always struggled with
00:21:51.200 | with people who claim to be Christians
00:21:54.000 | is I feel like Christians are sometimes
00:21:57.440 | some of the people that lack the most peace.
00:21:59.600 | And I look at other religious people around the world
00:22:02.480 | or some of these people practicing this New Age spirituality
00:22:07.480 | or the people that, even sometimes atheists,
00:22:11.680 | and I look at them and I'm like,
00:22:12.520 | "Man, they're more sometimes appear to be more peaceful
00:22:16.280 | "than Christians."
00:22:17.600 | And I think, correct me if I'm wrong,
00:22:20.520 | I think it might be because of the,
00:22:23.400 | when you do accept God and you accept Christ into your life,
00:22:27.480 | there will be a pull.
00:22:28.880 | It'll be the spirit versus the flesh.
00:22:31.060 | And you kinda gotta pick one.
00:22:33.040 | That's why it says if you're a lukewarm Christian,
00:22:36.480 | that's the most miserable place to be
00:22:37.800 | because you'll be lacking so much peace
00:22:40.240 | because you're getting pulled in two different directions.
00:22:42.640 | So, I think in our world now today,
00:22:44.640 | I feel like part of the reason Christians in general
00:22:48.720 | lack so much peace is they're lukewarm.
00:22:51.760 | They never, they don't,
00:22:52.920 | and I'm talking to myself as well,
00:22:54.580 | they didn't go fully in committing to God
00:22:57.280 | and His ways and His principles
00:22:58.800 | and what the Bible says is right.
00:23:00.880 | But they also don't feel comfortable
00:23:03.160 | doing all the stuff the world says is okay.
00:23:05.600 | And so they lack so much peace.
00:23:07.920 | And I just feel like that's a place
00:23:11.480 | that a lot of people are in the world today.
00:23:14.760 | What is your perspective on Christian people lacking peace?
00:23:18.720 | Do you think it's 'cause of the lukewarmness
00:23:20.720 | or where do you think that comes from?
00:23:22.880 | - I think that reminds me of a quote my dad gave me.
00:23:27.400 | He told me, he told us early on,
00:23:29.320 | he said, "Your religion will take you to hell."
00:23:32.120 | So he taught us early on that,
00:23:35.160 | obviously we're Christians and that's our faith,
00:23:39.920 | but he told us the most important thing
00:23:42.200 | is your relationship with God.
00:23:44.600 | Because we know whether it's a physical relationship
00:23:47.440 | or whatever type of relationship we wanna apply it to,
00:23:50.920 | as you grow in that relationship
00:23:53.000 | and you start to become more intimate
00:23:55.160 | and you start to find new revelations
00:23:57.120 | of this and that and this and that,
00:23:58.680 | then there is a certain level of peace that comes with that.
00:24:02.800 | There's a certain level,
00:24:03.720 | specifically with our relationship with God
00:24:05.480 | is as we start to submit to Him
00:24:08.000 | and His plan and His purpose
00:24:09.320 | and actually spend time with Him,
00:24:11.440 | then He starts to reveal certain things to us.
00:24:13.640 | I think when you start to talk about religion,
00:24:17.280 | religion for some people is just a habit.
00:24:20.160 | It's like, I go to church,
00:24:21.680 | I sing a couple of worship songs,
00:24:23.360 | I pray before I eat,
00:24:25.280 | but there's no real execution on the principles.
00:24:28.320 | So it goes back to when I talked about
00:24:30.480 | following the right instructions.
00:24:32.360 | It's okay, it's one thing to read the scripture
00:24:35.920 | and it's another thing to actually apply the principles
00:24:39.600 | that are in the scripture.
00:24:40.760 | And I think you and I have talked about this a million times
00:24:43.320 | like sometimes now that I'm in the position that I'm in
00:24:46.240 | and we'll be sitting in meetings
00:24:48.280 | and this and that and this and that.
00:24:49.680 | So I think sometimes I've seen business,
00:24:52.480 | businessmen and businesswomen, CEOs,
00:24:54.960 | who apply biblical principles better than Christians do.
00:24:58.880 | - Right. - Right?
00:24:59.720 | It's the application of the principle.
00:25:02.160 | So it's one thing to go to church
00:25:04.880 | and it's one thing to receive the gift of salvation,
00:25:08.600 | but there's a whole nother thing
00:25:09.800 | about walking this thing out daily
00:25:12.040 | and applying the principles.
00:25:14.240 | Because principles are important.
00:25:15.640 | There's the way that Dr. Miles Monroe, I'll never forget it.
00:25:19.400 | He said, "Every principle has a if-then clause."
00:25:22.360 | So if I do this, then this happens.
00:25:25.280 | The business world applies those principles
00:25:27.440 | because they know if, for example,
00:25:30.080 | if I keep my balance sheet in order, then X, Y, Z happens.
00:25:35.080 | But in Christianity,
00:25:37.480 | we don't necessarily follow those principles
00:25:40.400 | or execute on them.
00:25:42.080 | - I agree.
00:25:42.960 | Talk a little bit about a morning routine
00:25:45.760 | on the more practical side again,
00:25:47.160 | because I feel like as important as all these topics are,
00:25:50.560 | like sometimes people that are super busy
00:25:53.720 | or make themselves too busy,
00:25:55.440 | it's very hard to get to the place where you're applying
00:25:58.960 | the things that you need to
00:26:00.640 | in order to live the life you want to live.
00:26:03.880 | There is a practical side of,
00:26:05.160 | I need to spend time in the Word.
00:26:06.960 | I need to fill myself up.
00:26:08.600 | I need to have this time to journal.
00:26:10.720 | So I think personally, from my experience,
00:26:13.400 | the morning time is so good.
00:26:15.440 | I heard a quote one time,
00:26:16.900 | you don't tune the instrument after the concert.
00:26:20.240 | You tune it before.
00:26:21.520 | So that's first thing in the morning.
00:26:23.960 | You make sure you're in the right headspace
00:26:25.800 | to go be the person you want to be,
00:26:27.520 | go make the decisions you want to make.
00:26:30.480 | And I know you're big on a morning routine.
00:26:32.080 | So just for the people that are listening,
00:26:33.440 | that they want to change their life
00:26:36.200 | and they want to be more disciplined and install new habits.
00:26:39.080 | How important is a morning routine?
00:26:40.360 | And kind of walk through yours.
00:26:41.600 | - Yeah, for me, it's extremely important
00:26:44.640 | because I heard a quote before.
00:26:46.400 | You can't be serious about life and serious about purpose
00:26:50.200 | and practice apathy in most areas of your life.
00:26:53.680 | So in order to be serious about life
00:26:55.800 | and actively transform your life and change your life,
00:27:00.160 | it requires intentionality.
00:27:01.960 | You have to be intentional in every area of your life.
00:27:05.600 | So what that looks like for me
00:27:07.520 | is I just made a decision early on.
00:27:10.120 | I can't just let the day happen to me.
00:27:12.760 | And the way that I put it is I have to create the day.
00:27:15.640 | Like that's my goal every single day is to create the day.
00:27:18.680 | Don't let the day happen to me.
00:27:20.960 | And what that looks like,
00:27:22.160 | what that looks like is taking control of my day.
00:27:24.660 | So it might look like waking up at 5 a.m., right?
00:27:27.800 | So like I joke about it all the time,
00:27:29.840 | but I know you're gonna wake,
00:27:31.760 | you usually wake up around 8, 8.30.
00:27:34.480 | My Nicodemus usually wakes up about 7, 7.30.
00:27:39.080 | So I know I need to get everything done before then
00:27:43.720 | so that I can be completely available for Nicodemus,
00:27:46.640 | be completely available for you
00:27:48.160 | and completely available for any other thing
00:27:50.520 | that I need to take care of that day.
00:27:52.560 | So that requires me to wake up first thing in the morning.
00:27:55.520 | What I do is now I go get in the cold plunge.
00:27:58.520 | So first things first,
00:28:00.080 | wake up, go straight to the cold plunge three minutes, right?
00:28:03.060 | That's gonna do a million different things,
00:28:05.960 | but the biggest thing for me strengthens my immune system,
00:28:08.780 | helps with mental clarity first thing in the morning,
00:28:11.160 | resets my circadian rhythm
00:28:13.040 | so that I get better sleep at night.
00:28:14.700 | So I start there, it wakes me up,
00:28:17.480 | and then I'll do red light therapy for about 10 minutes.
00:28:20.900 | But I'm big on stacking habits
00:28:22.920 | because there's a million habits that you can practice.
00:28:25.600 | But for me, it's like, which ones can I stack?
00:28:27.880 | So while I'm doing 10 minutes of red light therapy,
00:28:30.400 | I'll either play worship music and worship,
00:28:33.800 | or that's my 10 minutes of uninterrupted prayer.
00:28:36.960 | Because I think in order for me to maintain my identity,
00:28:41.040 | I have to connect to my source, right?
00:28:43.300 | So just like we wouldn't go on a road trip
00:28:45.600 | and leave our charger at home,
00:28:47.800 | I have to get charged up first thing every morning.
00:28:50.420 | You and I have talked about that
00:28:51.680 | from a discipline standpoint.
00:28:53.320 | Sometimes you ask me, "How can you,
00:28:55.940 | "how do you stay so disciplined
00:28:57.200 | "and not do this and not do that?"
00:28:58.680 | And I tell you, I'm just like everybody else.
00:29:00.640 | I just make sure that I connect to the source
00:29:02.760 | first thing in the morning
00:29:03.840 | so that I have the right perspective
00:29:05.720 | and I know I need to get connected to the source.
00:29:08.080 | So it's one day to the next.
00:29:10.600 | So cold plunge, red light therapy with prayer and worship,
00:29:15.380 | and then start knocking off stuff off my to-do list.
00:29:17.800 | And then once Nicodemus wakes up,
00:29:20.040 | then that's usually like from seven to,
00:29:23.580 | I drop him off at daycare around 8.30.
00:29:26.340 | That is my, I'm completely for the most part unavailable.
00:29:30.580 | Like that's his time.
00:29:32.140 | So we'll make breakfast together.
00:29:34.740 | We'll sit, like he knows already.
00:29:37.060 | He'll, we'll watch worship.
00:29:39.220 | So we'll listen to one worship song
00:29:41.300 | and then we'll do one educational activity.
00:29:43.400 | Like for him right now, he's learning Spanish.
00:29:45.380 | So we'll watch like 30 minutes of Spanish while he's eating,
00:29:48.680 | but we'll make breakfast together.
00:29:50.380 | And then after that, throughout the day,
00:29:53.380 | I set aside time for working out
00:29:55.280 | and professional development and all that.
00:29:56.960 | But that morning routine of getting the cold,
00:29:59.980 | red light therapy, prayer and worship,
00:30:03.100 | and then sunlight exposure.
00:30:04.920 | So then I'll walk out before he wakes up.
00:30:07.460 | If the sun is out, 10 minutes in the sun,
00:30:10.180 | and that's my time of gratitude.
00:30:11.940 | So I've knocked out mind, body, and spirit together.
00:30:16.260 | And it takes about 30 to 45 minutes.
00:30:18.920 | And that's how I start my day.
00:30:20.780 | - That's amazing.
00:30:21.720 | I like what you said about connecting
00:30:23.080 | to the power source as well,
00:30:24.900 | because it's such a biblical principle
00:30:27.360 | of God gives you enough, like for the day.
00:30:30.460 | Like you can do that routine for a year straight.
00:30:34.440 | And then if you took three or four days off,
00:30:36.600 | you wouldn't feel right because,
00:30:38.560 | or like even talking about like getting in the Word
00:30:41.380 | or your prayer time, you can pray for three days in a row,
00:30:44.300 | but that's not gonna last you for that fourth day.
00:30:46.280 | It's like a daily.
00:30:47.480 | And the Bible, you know,
00:30:49.280 | God gave them enough manna for one day,
00:30:51.640 | and then it would go rotten.
00:30:52.640 | They would have to go recollect it the next day.
00:30:55.220 | I forget which guy it was,
00:30:57.240 | but he would go into prayer three times a day
00:31:00.440 | to reconnect, to refill himself up.
00:31:02.000 | So it's not like, it's a daily walk,
00:31:04.240 | and it's a daily habit.
00:31:05.280 | And sometimes for me,
00:31:06.480 | and I think a lot of other people, it's like,
00:31:08.640 | you know, you might be doing so good
00:31:10.640 | in how you wanna be and what you wanna do
00:31:12.760 | for a week straight,
00:31:13.840 | but it's like a cycle.
00:31:14.720 | You go through these ups and downs of,
00:31:16.280 | you do good, then you don't do good.
00:31:18.000 | Then you crawl out of it and you do good,
00:31:20.060 | then you don't do good.
00:31:20.900 | And I think that's that chaos in your life.
00:31:22.960 | If you can create the like, the order,
00:31:26.160 | then you'll see like the consistency
00:31:28.380 | and who you wanna be.
00:31:30.960 | And I just think that I've seen it so much in my life
00:31:33.800 | because I hate the cycle
00:31:35.240 | 'cause I feel like a lot of people feel helpless
00:31:37.980 | when they're doing good
00:31:39.700 | or they're being who they wanna be for a couple of weeks,
00:31:41.360 | and then man, they have a bad three or four days,
00:31:43.440 | and then they start binging on something for a few days,
00:31:45.720 | and they crawl out of it.
00:31:46.920 | You know what I mean?
00:31:47.760 | That's like the worst place to be in.
00:31:48.580 | - It's hard.
00:31:49.420 | Another part of that word order
00:31:53.960 | from the etymology of it is prioritization.
00:31:56.880 | And that's why I do that.
00:31:58.880 | I do the first things first.
00:32:00.560 | Journaling is a part of my morning routine,
00:32:02.640 | obviously, as well.
00:32:04.360 | And I know you're big on journaling,
00:32:06.200 | but it's like, I have to do the first things first.
00:32:08.660 | I have to set something as a priority,
00:32:10.800 | and then everything else falls in line.
00:32:12.660 | So for me, like I said, it's connecting to God,
00:32:15.400 | it's spending time in worship,
00:32:16.640 | it's spending time with Nicodemus,
00:32:18.520 | it's spending time making sure
00:32:19.760 | that I'm taking care of myself
00:32:22.040 | so that I can provide the best,
00:32:23.960 | whatever it is, to the world.
00:32:26.120 | And then along the lines of what you said,
00:32:29.240 | from a biblical perspective,
00:32:31.320 | one of the most profound things
00:32:32.600 | that I had ever seen in the scripture
00:32:35.120 | is that when Jesus started His ministry,
00:32:38.580 | we see the story of Him being baptized by John the Baptist,
00:32:42.840 | and that represents Him beginning His ministry.
00:32:45.760 | And then that story goes,
00:32:47.920 | there's a dove that comes down from heaven,
00:32:50.320 | and God says, "This is my Son in whom I'm well pleased."
00:32:53.760 | So that stuck with me,
00:32:55.120 | because I realized that before Jesus took the steps
00:32:58.200 | to walk in His ministry,
00:32:59.960 | He received affirmation from the Father.
00:33:03.200 | And I just took that for me,
00:33:04.660 | that if I receive affirmation from God,
00:33:08.460 | I never have to function for affirmation from others.
00:33:12.040 | Period.
00:33:12.880 | So it's either we're functioning from a place of affirmation
00:33:16.320 | or you're functioning for affirmation.
00:33:18.920 | And that's super hard for y'all.
00:33:21.240 | - Which is our whole life, I mean--
00:33:23.520 | - Everything.
00:33:24.360 | - Our whole life,
00:33:25.180 | because you just have so much criticism,
00:33:26.680 | you have so much nitpicking on how you played.
00:33:30.060 | - All of it.
00:33:30.900 | - But everything.
00:33:31.720 | I mean, if you're on social media,
00:33:33.160 | if you're posting pictures, what is that really for?
00:33:35.360 | That's usually for affirmation.
00:33:37.080 | - For sure.
00:33:37.920 | - 'Cause 99% of people, or maybe probably higher,
00:33:41.560 | live from a place of affirmation.
00:33:43.080 | That's such an unstable place,
00:33:44.480 | 'cause it's like, man, you're at the mercy of other people.
00:33:47.400 | If you're an athlete, it's the worst.
00:33:48.860 | You got these young dudes, one of my good friends,
00:33:52.840 | retiring at such a young age,
00:33:54.280 | because they feel that pressure and they feel that anxiety,
00:33:58.560 | because they're getting their worth.
00:34:00.200 | And I feel like that only comes
00:34:01.960 | because they're playing for affirmation.
00:34:05.320 | They're getting their worth from basketball.
00:34:06.880 | And I mean, every athlete struggles with it,
00:34:08.400 | 'cause it's such high stakes.
00:34:09.760 | It feels like the world's on your shoulders sometimes.
00:34:12.360 | So many people watch the games,
00:34:14.740 | but yeah, for guys in our position,
00:34:16.840 | that would be a game changer.
00:34:18.960 | And then it lets you play more free.
00:34:20.560 | - Free.
00:34:21.400 | - It lets you, you're not playing
00:34:22.760 | to get the applause from the fans,
00:34:24.280 | to get the people commenting on your pictures
00:34:26.720 | after your game on Instagram.
00:34:28.600 | You're just hooping 'cause you want to hoop,
00:34:30.160 | and you know that's a gift God gave you.
00:34:32.000 | And that frees you up to then play better.
00:34:34.280 | And it gives you a focus for your performance, right?
00:34:38.480 | So it's like, I'm not performing for your applause.
00:34:41.920 | I'm not performing for your cheers,
00:34:45.240 | 'cause I've already been affirmed from the Father.
00:34:47.840 | And the way that that looks like,
00:34:49.120 | I always try to take biblical principles
00:34:50.880 | and make it practical.
00:34:51.840 | The way that I practice it with Nicodemus,
00:34:54.160 | he's only three years old.
00:34:55.920 | And before, like every day we'll do one activity
00:34:59.160 | when he gets home.
00:35:00.000 | Right now it's basketball or soccer.
00:35:02.200 | So before we even start the activity,
00:35:04.920 | I tell him, I love him and I'm proud of you.
00:35:06.680 | I was like, you know, Dada loves you.
00:35:07.960 | You know, I'm proud of you, right?
00:35:09.880 | So I never, so he never has to come to me
00:35:12.080 | and ask me if I'm proud of him
00:35:14.680 | because of how well he played.
00:35:16.600 | So I always, and I told myself,
00:35:18.240 | like I have this list in my phone
00:35:20.160 | of things that I have to do.
00:35:22.120 | And that's one of the things.
00:35:23.360 | I always affirm him before the activity,
00:35:26.520 | even if it's a learning activity,
00:35:28.160 | 'cause he's at the age now where he's like,
00:35:30.160 | Dada, are you proud of me?
00:35:31.720 | And I remind him, I said, son,
00:35:33.080 | I was proud of you before we even started.
00:35:35.280 | Remember Dada told you he loved you?
00:35:36.880 | I told you I was proud of you.
00:35:37.880 | So now, 'cause he's three and he's already,
00:35:40.280 | are you proud of me?
00:35:41.320 | Dada, give me a high five.
00:35:43.280 | I told you that before we started.
00:35:44.840 | So you don't ever have to perform for that
00:35:46.760 | 'cause you've already been affirmed before.
00:35:49.440 | - Right, that's cool.
00:35:51.880 | One thing I want to touch on
00:35:53.200 | that I think is really unique about you is
00:35:55.800 | because you are, and one of the reasons
00:35:58.000 | that I, you know, wanted you in my life
00:36:00.080 | is because I felt like I always kind of lacked in,
00:36:03.000 | I'm disciplined in certain areas.
00:36:04.320 | You know, I'm disciplined in the weight room
00:36:05.480 | and on the court, things like that,
00:36:06.640 | but I'm undisciplined and I'm very unintentional
00:36:08.960 | in other areas, and I saw that in you.
00:36:10.920 | So you've been like this for a long time,
00:36:14.320 | one of the most disciplined people, you know,
00:36:16.640 | very habit-oriented.
00:36:18.480 | You have never had a sip of alcohol
00:36:21.680 | and you've never smoked or any of that in your life.
00:36:24.840 | Where did that come from and how do you keep that up?
00:36:27.880 | I think you even said you've never even
00:36:29.680 | seen pornography before.
00:36:31.160 | - Yeah.
00:36:32.000 | - Like, how did, yeah, how is that possible?
00:36:37.000 | - Well, younger years, it was a promise
00:36:40.640 | that I made to my mom, right?
00:36:42.640 | And then you get older, you get past the adolescence
00:36:46.200 | and you have a decision on your own.
00:36:48.200 | - But talk about, I mean, you were in a frat, you know?
00:36:50.000 | - Yeah.
00:36:50.840 | - They have the initiation and stuff like that.
00:36:52.560 | How did you stay strong in all of these convictions
00:36:55.440 | that you had and, yeah?
00:36:57.280 | - Bro, it's crazy that I don't, I don't know.
00:37:02.080 | I think it's always been from a young age,
00:37:06.920 | my never wanting to disappoint God and my parents.
00:37:13.360 | And you know me now, like that might be
00:37:17.240 | one of my greatest weaknesses is
00:37:19.200 | I don't like disappointing people, right?
00:37:22.520 | So it's like, you'll sacrifice everything for others
00:37:26.760 | just so that you don't disappoint them.
00:37:29.240 | And then sometimes you can end up losing yourself.
00:37:31.240 | That's a whole nother story, but it was,
00:37:34.200 | I never wanted to disappoint my parents.
00:37:36.600 | I never wanted to disappoint God.
00:37:39.560 | I remembered how hard life was early on
00:37:45.480 | and I never wanted to go back to that.
00:37:49.040 | And I just associated things like drinking, smoking,
00:37:54.800 | getting caught up in this and that and this and that
00:37:57.080 | as not leading me in the right direction, right?
00:38:01.560 | Because for me, I think discipline is simply
00:38:04.960 | knowing what to say yes to and what to say no to.
00:38:08.560 | So I always, I just made a decision early on,
00:38:11.520 | I was gonna say yes to, I knew that
00:38:14.600 | I was created to do something special.
00:38:16.680 | I didn't know what it was, but I'd always ask myself,
00:38:19.600 | is this gonna get me closer to whatever it is
00:38:21.720 | that I'm supposed to do?
00:38:23.000 | Or is it gonna get me further away?
00:38:25.600 | It wasn't hard, being in a fraternity,
00:38:27.400 | being a part of Phi Beta Sigma,
00:38:29.920 | on the campus of Baylor University,
00:38:31.760 | like it wasn't, it's not easy, but I did it.
00:38:35.600 | I was fortunate though, in that my closest circle of friends
00:38:40.320 | to this day, Curtis Opara, Nathaniel Higgins,
00:38:44.440 | my brother Gary, for a little while,
00:38:46.600 | I had some very, very close friends who,
00:38:48.920 | they all accepted me for who I was though too.
00:38:52.480 | They were always like, "Nicodemus doesn't do that,
00:38:55.360 | "that's not what he does," and they let me be me.
00:38:57.720 | I think I told you, and I realized early on
00:39:00.800 | how important having the right people in your ecosystem is,
00:39:04.080 | because they never, it was easy because obviously
00:39:07.160 | my brother knew what I was all about,
00:39:08.800 | and we went to Baylor together, so he was right there.
00:39:11.640 | But then when you have friends, and they also know
00:39:15.280 | that's not what Nicodemus is about, 'cause I said it,
00:39:18.000 | I made it known early on, and they never,
00:39:19.960 | I didn't really have to deal with that peer pressure
00:39:21.840 | from them, 'cause they knew what it was.
00:39:24.120 | So my friends helped me stay consistent,
00:39:27.120 | because I wasn't getting that 24/7 pressure from them.
00:39:31.360 | It was a little bit easier then.
00:39:32.520 | I think when I was in college is when Facebook
00:39:34.360 | really started getting poppin', so I didn't have
00:39:37.360 | like the pressure to be cool on social,
00:39:40.800 | and to socially do this and that, and this and that.
00:39:43.300 | But I just, I knew early on, my mom tells me this story
00:39:46.760 | all the time, at like four years old,
00:39:48.640 | I would stand on the table in a restaurant,
00:39:51.100 | and my name is Nicodemus, which is the story
00:39:53.720 | of Nicodemus going to Jesus by night,
00:39:56.740 | and Jesus saying, "You must be born again."
00:39:58.760 | So I would stand on the table and be like,
00:40:00.400 | "You must be born again," right?
00:40:02.480 | This is before I even know, so I just,
00:40:04.320 | I knew that there was a calling on my life early,
00:40:06.840 | and I just tried to do everything that I could.
00:40:09.800 | You and I have talked about it, I made a million mistakes.
00:40:12.720 | You know, there's a million other mistakes
00:40:14.640 | that you can make other than smoking, and drinking,
00:40:16.880 | and watching pornography, those are just the three
00:40:19.480 | that I've had the mental fortitude not to do.
00:40:22.940 | - And now you're married, you know,
00:40:26.640 | you got little Nicodemus, and I've seen it.
00:40:31.640 | We'll be out, you know, and there's sometimes girls around,
00:40:35.880 | and things like that, and they'll approach you,
00:40:37.400 | they'll come up to you, and, "Are you single?
00:40:39.640 | "My friend really likes you," things like that.
00:40:41.400 | And not even just athletes, but the majority of men,
00:40:46.360 | when they have, you know, pretty girls approaching them,
00:40:49.320 | and things like that, it is very hard,
00:40:50.720 | especially, you know, you're on the road,
00:40:52.240 | got your own hotel room, you know,
00:40:54.160 | you could do something, nobody knows about it.
00:40:57.000 | Like, I know that's something that in my profession,
00:41:00.200 | and just in my realm of, that's something
00:41:02.680 | that people struggle with, you know?
00:41:03.760 | I really respect a dude who gets married,
00:41:07.000 | and then he stays faithful, because for me,
00:41:09.720 | I'm not getting married until I've developed the discipline
00:41:12.340 | to know for a fact I could be faithful to one woman
00:41:15.360 | for the rest of my life, but you,
00:41:16.720 | I've seen it over and over.
00:41:18.600 | You kind of, like, have a firm, like, barrier, like, no.
00:41:22.840 | And you're cool with a lot of these girls.
00:41:24.480 | Like, you're friends with females, and things like that,
00:41:28.240 | but it never crosses a certain line.
00:41:30.040 | Is that discipline that you have to develop?
00:41:33.960 | Or is it just something you've always had?
00:41:36.600 | Or is it like a daily, is it like a daily thing?
00:41:38.760 | - Right, it's getting connected to that source
00:41:40.800 | first thing in the morning.
00:41:41.800 | 'Cause when we talk about discipline, I tell you,
00:41:43.880 | like, I have to stay connected to God.
00:41:46.040 | 'Cause apart from Him, shoot,
00:41:48.320 | there's nothing under the sun that I wouldn't do, 100%.
00:41:52.440 | Like, most people, they'll put up this fake facade.
00:41:54.960 | I'm just like everybody else.
00:41:57.080 | The only thing that keeps me set apart is the fact
00:42:00.040 | that I connect to God on a daily basis,
00:42:02.880 | and get a vision for my life, and just say yes
00:42:06.120 | to what leads me to that vision,
00:42:08.040 | and no to what takes me away from that vision.
00:42:10.720 | And then, you've heard me talk about Dr. Miles Monroe.
00:42:13.520 | I think I quoted him earlier.
00:42:14.760 | He said something that stuck with me
00:42:16.640 | that I heard years ago.
00:42:18.000 | He said, "Make sure that your private life
00:42:21.280 | "is safe enough for public consumption."
00:42:23.560 | - 100%.
00:42:24.400 | - And you look at some of the greatest athletes
00:42:26.400 | in the world, you look at some of the greatest CEOs
00:42:28.400 | in the world, you look at some of the greatest politicians
00:42:30.600 | in the world, at some point,
00:42:33.320 | what happened in the dark came to light.
00:42:35.080 | - Is that the dude that you gave me his book?
00:42:36.640 | - The book, yeah, "Kingdom Principles," yeah.
00:42:38.840 | - Well, there was one, there was a book,
00:42:40.360 | I think you might have given me.
00:42:41.200 | - "The Power and Character of Leadership."
00:42:43.840 | - Yeah, is that him?
00:42:44.680 | - Yeah, he wrote that book as well, yeah.
00:42:45.760 | - Because I was reading that book,
00:42:47.120 | and it was so true that it doesn't matter
00:42:49.680 | how big you get, how much money you have,
00:42:52.240 | how much influence you have,
00:42:53.760 | like, you can lose so much credibility,
00:42:56.400 | you can lose all these things in a moment of weakness,
00:42:58.960 | and I know for a lot of dudes, for a lot of dudes,
00:43:02.400 | it's the lust thing, you know, they got a wife,
00:43:04.520 | but, you know, they may slip up here or here,
00:43:07.240 | or, and it's just, it's such a hard thing
00:43:09.640 | to keep intact, and, you know, I joke around
00:43:13.360 | a lot about, maybe we weren't supposed to be monogamous,
00:43:17.400 | you know, maybe, like, you know, back in the day
00:43:19.120 | when these dudes had all these wives
00:43:21.480 | and all these concubines, like,
00:43:22.760 | it really is against our biology
00:43:25.200 | to be with one woman, like, the rest of our life,
00:43:29.200 | like, that takes a certain amount of discipline,
00:43:33.040 | it really does, and I see it from you,
00:43:34.480 | and I've seen it from my dad, so I know it's possible,
00:43:37.240 | but a lot of guys, they never get that discipline,
00:43:39.960 | and I just think, like, in this day and age,
00:43:41.840 | like, marriage is not really, like,
00:43:43.240 | a coveted thing anymore, like, it's like,
00:43:44.840 | people don't really want that, you know,
00:43:47.600 | and it's just, it's cool to see.
00:43:49.920 | - It's not easy, though, bro, it's difficult,
00:43:54.040 | but like I said, you have to stay connected to the source,
00:43:57.720 | and you have to have something that's greater than that,
00:43:59.920 | because you think about it, like,
00:44:01.200 | you sleep with one woman while you're married,
00:44:03.240 | what's gonna stop you from sleeping
00:44:04.560 | with the next woman, right?
00:44:06.320 | Then you start a pattern, and those patterns
00:44:09.480 | start to predict where you're gonna go in the future,
00:44:11.880 | so then that's gonna be what your future looks like,
00:44:14.520 | so instead of even starting that pattern,
00:44:17.000 | and for me, I know I have addictive behaviors,
00:44:19.520 | that's the other reason why I don't smoke,
00:44:21.800 | and I didn't drink, and didn't watch pornography,
00:44:24.160 | and don't cheat on my wife,
00:44:25.800 | is 'cause I know I have addictive behaviors,
00:44:27.840 | and I will naturally, our inclination
00:44:31.720 | is to satisfy our flesh by whatever means,
00:44:34.600 | and I will become addicted to whatever pattern I start,
00:44:38.160 | so I just err on the side of not starting
00:44:40.960 | those patterns whatsoever, and then the other thing is,
00:44:43.560 | now, is like, I couldn't even imagine
00:44:47.040 | having that conversation with Nicodemus II, ever.
00:44:51.640 | Like, there's nothing that, I don't even know
00:44:53.440 | how I would approach having to go to him and say,
00:44:57.040 | well, I cheated on your mom, this is why, da-da-da-da-da.
00:45:00.640 | Like, I couldn't even bring myself
00:45:02.720 | to have that conversation with him,
00:45:03.920 | so that's a part of it now, too.
00:45:05.880 | - 100%.
00:45:06.720 | Do you think you just have to find a girl
00:45:09.960 | who would work for that specific marriage?
00:45:12.920 | 'Cause for me, I know, with my career, what I'm doing,
00:45:15.440 | I need a girl who's gonna hold it down at the crib,
00:45:17.520 | who, when I do wanna have children, she's there for them,
00:45:21.040 | and I'll go out and provide financially,
00:45:24.080 | and she can, I guess that's more traditional,
00:45:26.080 | and I feel like that's just kind of being lost.
00:45:28.560 | What is your thoughts on that?
00:45:29.680 | - It comes down to managing expectations.
00:45:32.440 | Like, and that's one of the things where,
00:45:35.240 | for you, that's one of the things
00:45:37.840 | that you've taught me quite a few things,
00:45:39.600 | but bro, one of the biggest things that you've taught me
00:45:42.200 | is the ability to be unapologetically 100% authentic, right?
00:45:47.200 | So, anybody who enters a relationship with you,
00:45:53.120 | especially a relationship that's going to end in marriage,
00:45:56.560 | like, you will have, at some point,
00:45:59.720 | communicated your beliefs and your expectations
00:46:03.720 | for that marriage.
00:46:04.560 | - It'll make me to roll with it or not.
00:46:05.400 | - Hands down, right?
00:46:06.920 | Like, you are unapologetically,
00:46:09.240 | you're you, and you're very strong
00:46:12.760 | in what you believe you're gonna say it,
00:46:14.320 | and it's like, this is who I am?
00:46:16.360 | Like, this is the type of woman I want to raise my kids?
00:46:19.640 | If that's not you, then it's not you, straight up.
00:46:22.360 | That's healthy, though.
00:46:23.720 | That's healthy, and I think a lot of marriages
00:46:25.940 | and a lot of relationships fail
00:46:27.960 | because you don't manage those expectations.
00:46:30.960 | Like, you've taught me that, and you've helped me.
00:46:33.580 | This is what I expect.
00:46:34.920 | This is what my expectations are for marriage.
00:46:37.720 | This is expectations for our morals and values.
00:46:40.840 | This is where we believe.
00:46:41.960 | Where do you stand on that?
00:46:43.000 | How do you stand on that?
00:46:44.040 | It literally comes down to managing expectations,
00:46:46.700 | because there might be somebody else who sits here
00:46:49.120 | and is like, my wife can do X, Y, Z,
00:46:53.120 | and I'll just sit back and, you know what I mean?
00:46:56.080 | 'Cause there's guys who believe
00:46:57.320 | completely opposite of what you believe,
00:46:59.440 | and they're gonna go get married,
00:47:00.800 | and they're gonna marry the woman
00:47:02.720 | that you don't wanna marry,
00:47:04.120 | but they've managed those expectations.
00:47:06.340 | You can't wait till you're married
00:47:07.740 | to have those conversations either.
00:47:09.640 | That's the one thing I appreciate about you.
00:47:11.640 | Like, you might go on a date,
00:47:13.120 | you might have those first night over pasta.
00:47:16.700 | You might air it out night number one.
00:47:21.880 | Bro, we've been at business dinners,
00:47:24.580 | we've been at every type of dinner, any type of event,
00:47:27.680 | and I've seen you air it out
00:47:29.860 | to people that were just meeting at the table.
00:47:33.340 | But that's, I mean, the manager side of me
00:47:37.080 | sometimes is like, oh, well, this business deal is over.
00:47:40.140 | But you being my brother and my friend,
00:47:44.120 | I respect that so much,
00:47:46.060 | because it's like, you set the expectation,
00:47:48.880 | and that's who you are, you know what I mean?
00:47:51.700 | So if you don't do that in a marriage,
00:47:52.980 | it's gonna fail, straight up.
00:47:54.420 | You don't get five years down the line
00:47:56.180 | and then something pops up and you've already said, I do,
00:47:58.620 | and now you're trying to figure it out.
00:47:59.820 | And you definitely can't wait till you have kids,
00:48:02.620 | because then you're trying to mold this human being,
00:48:06.100 | and if you're trying to mold this human being
00:48:07.740 | into two separate types of values and core beliefs,
00:48:12.740 | that's when it gets difficult.
00:48:14.440 | - I agree.
00:48:15.280 | Sierra, have you and Christian had this conversation?
00:48:17.820 | - We're doing this book right now,
00:48:19.140 | 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged,
00:48:21.380 | and it talks about a lot of things.
00:48:22.980 | - Are you gonna be okay with taking his last name,
00:48:24.940 | or is he gonna have to take--
00:48:26.100 | - Yeah, I don't have a problem with it.
00:48:27.900 | (laughing)
00:48:29.780 | - All right, good.
00:48:31.140 | All right, my last question for you, bro,
00:48:32.660 | is we've talked about peace, we've talked about identity,
00:48:36.580 | we've talked about purpose and all these things.
00:48:39.000 | For you specifically, what do you believe
00:48:42.180 | to be your purpose on this earth?
00:48:44.260 | Do you believe you're fulfilling it as we speak,
00:48:46.260 | and what are your goals?
00:48:48.100 | - Yeah, no, I definitely think I'm fulfilling it
00:48:50.580 | as we speak.
00:48:52.540 | That's a great question.
00:48:54.100 | It took me 30 plus years to figure out what my purpose was,
00:48:59.100 | and it's interesting, from the day,
00:49:01.940 | I almost still remember around the time or the season
00:49:04.700 | where I figured it out,
00:49:05.820 | and how things just continually started to improve
00:49:08.980 | from a mental standpoint, spiritual standpoint,
00:49:12.420 | just holistically, all the way around.
00:49:14.420 | For me, my purpose is to help people
00:49:17.500 | walk from vision to value, right?
00:49:20.340 | So that's why I keep talking about identity,
00:49:22.260 | because I think that if you don't have a vision,
00:49:25.540 | it's to help people discover their vision for their life,
00:49:28.020 | and then once you've gotten to the point
00:49:29.500 | to where you've discovered the vision for your life,
00:49:31.700 | help you to produce value,
00:49:33.540 | the value that that vision or your purpose
00:49:37.140 | predestines you to produce.
00:49:39.100 | And I think that there's two sides of value.
00:49:41.360 | So there's the value that you produce for the marketplace
00:49:44.680 | or the industry that you're in,
00:49:46.660 | but then on the flip side is there's an exchange of value.
00:49:49.900 | When I produce value, I receive value, right?
00:49:52.700 | From the most simple terms,
00:49:54.340 | if you're looking for a professional athlete,
00:49:57.060 | if I'm producing this value
00:49:59.460 | that comes in a form of performance
00:50:01.380 | for the National Basketball Association,
00:50:03.620 | in return, I'm gonna receive a contract
00:50:06.700 | that shows the value that I'm producing.
00:50:09.420 | So for me, it's simply put,
00:50:11.220 | it's like helping people walk from vision to value, right?
00:50:14.420 | And along those steps, it takes discovery of who you are,
00:50:18.860 | it takes development,
00:50:20.560 | it takes finding a way to deliver that value
00:50:23.740 | to the right marketplace, to the right people,
00:50:26.500 | and then in return, receiving that value
00:50:28.900 | that you've delivered to the marketplace.
00:50:30.540 | So that's where I function every single day.
00:50:34.220 | - Well, man, I feel like you dropped a lot of knowledge
00:50:37.920 | for everybody to listen to and even for me.
00:50:41.900 | So go get that book.
00:50:42.740 | What's the book called again?
00:50:43.580 | - Out of Order.
00:50:44.580 | - Out of Order.
00:50:45.540 | I've already started it and it's really good.
00:50:48.380 | Something I'm definitely implementing in my own life.
00:50:50.980 | So go cop that book, Out of Order,
00:50:53.020 | and I appreciate you being on the podcast.
00:50:54.500 | - Likewise.
00:50:55.340 | You gotta tell people about our situation
00:51:00.340 | in the weight room in college.
00:51:02.700 | - Oh yeah, I was gonna,
00:51:04.540 | 'cause me and him almost weren't friends
00:51:08.420 | 'cause I almost had to put hands on him
00:51:09.780 | is what he's talking about.
00:51:11.300 | This is all the way back.
00:51:12.780 | You know, I weigh 230 now,
00:51:14.140 | but I probably was what, like 190 at Mizzou?
00:51:17.180 | And I almost whooped him because this is,
00:51:20.380 | I'm gonna tell it from my perspective,
00:51:21.420 | then you can tell it from your perspective.
00:51:22.620 | - Please do.
00:51:23.700 | - So I got hurt already, so you know what I mean?
00:51:27.500 | I'm, throughout the course of the season,
00:51:29.620 | I'm, you know, doing my rehab,
00:51:31.460 | getting my extra weight room sessions in, this and that.
00:51:35.180 | I hit Nick up before a game like,
00:51:36.580 | yo, let's get this extra lift in, whatever.
00:51:38.820 | Meanwhile, these dudes in Mizzou, you know,
00:51:40.580 | I don't know about other schools,
00:51:41.860 | but in Mizzou, they were trying to make us go to class.
00:51:43.860 | Now, I would finesse my way out of it.
00:51:46.340 | I would, you know, go until the class checkers came
00:51:48.620 | and then I would dip.
00:51:50.060 | But they had us trying to go to class, tutors.
00:51:53.460 | People always ask me, like,
00:51:54.340 | did I get paid to go to Mizzou?
00:51:55.620 | I didn't get anything.
00:51:56.580 | And they're still trying to make me go to class.
00:51:58.020 | So they had me doing the most.
00:52:00.100 | So I hit him like, yo, let's get this extra lift in
00:52:02.340 | before this game.
00:52:03.700 | And meanwhile, I just got done with tutoring.
00:52:05.780 | Like, my tutoring session went forever.
00:52:08.100 | And so I showed up five minutes late to the lift
00:52:10.700 | and this dude is already like, he has an attitude.
00:52:13.100 | Like, he's already putting up the equipment, whatever.
00:52:15.340 | So I'm walking away, I'm like, bro, what are you doing?
00:52:17.140 | Like, I'm hot because I already was mad
00:52:19.020 | that I was at tutoring.
00:52:19.860 | So I walk in the way, I'm like, what are you doing?
00:52:21.300 | And then he like, says something crazy.
00:52:23.260 | So we end up about to scrap, really.
00:52:26.820 | Like, I forget like, how close we got,
00:52:29.260 | but I think like, I started talking crazy to you,
00:52:30.900 | you started talking crazy to me.
00:52:32.980 | And like, it was really about to like, go down.
00:52:36.180 | Like, that's from my perspective.
00:52:38.180 | - That's definitely not how it happened.
00:52:39.420 | Okay, so the truth of it,
00:52:41.540 | 'cause I was talking to C before we even started,
00:52:43.500 | I was like, I wonder if Michael is gonna go there
00:52:45.820 | and tell that story.
00:52:46.940 | But yeah, so from my perspective, you did.
00:52:50.700 | Kudos to you, you hit me up and wanted to get an extra lift.
00:52:54.980 | So obviously, I take the time to get there
00:52:57.420 | before you're there.
00:52:58.780 | I set it up and all that.
00:53:00.700 | I look at the clock, you're late.
00:53:02.220 | So because you're late, lift is over.
00:53:04.140 | It's donezo, just straight up.
00:53:06.180 | So I start putting this stuff away.
00:53:08.260 | When I start putting this stuff away,
00:53:10.180 | that's when you walk in the weight room
00:53:12.580 | and you're like, what's good or whatever.
00:53:14.340 | I was like, no lift.
00:53:15.700 | You're like, what do you mean?
00:53:16.860 | I was like, you're late.
00:53:18.220 | And then that's when you, he started raising his voice.
00:53:21.100 | You talk about, what are you doing?
00:53:23.020 | I'll never forget.
00:53:24.100 | I remember that's how it started.
00:53:25.860 | You were like, what are you doing?
00:53:27.140 | And then you just went in.
00:53:28.580 | You started talking crazy, crazy.
00:53:32.180 | Like, what are you doing?
00:53:33.700 | Bro, you tripping.
00:53:34.580 | And I'm like, I'm young, obviously.
00:53:38.780 | So I'm like, I'm not the one.
00:53:40.020 | So I start going back.
00:53:41.940 | You start getting louder.
00:53:43.820 | And you're like, you got me messed up.
00:53:46.700 | So then that's when I remember
00:53:47.780 | I closed the weight room doors.
00:53:49.900 | 'Cause that's when we got to, it was about to get hectic.
00:53:52.980 | I closed the weight room doors and I was like,
00:53:54.820 | so how you want to handle this, right?
00:53:56.980 | I'm professional, yes.
00:54:01.420 | But I'm like, okay, so how you want to handle this?
00:54:03.500 | You're like.
00:54:04.380 | And we went on and on and on and on for a little bit.
00:54:06.660 | And then, but bro, I always,
00:54:08.700 | it's funny when you tell that story
00:54:10.860 | because people are asking me like,
00:54:12.140 | how did you and Mike get to the point
00:54:13.540 | to where you guys have the relationship
00:54:15.020 | that you have and you have trust?
00:54:16.580 | I'm like, because, like, we've gone,
00:54:19.540 | there's nothing that we haven't gone through.
00:54:21.180 | Like, we have confrontations with each other.
00:54:23.820 | We push each other to be the best, point blank, period.
00:54:27.500 | So that's why I know that I can trust him
00:54:30.140 | and he knows that I can trust,
00:54:32.340 | we can trust each other.
00:54:33.340 | So bro, with that, yeah, dude lost his mind that day.
00:54:36.580 | I'm like, what are you doing?
00:54:37.860 | You got me messed up.
00:54:39.580 | Nah, I'm lifting.
00:54:40.940 | You're trying to tell me what to do in my weight room.
00:54:42.900 | - So what would have happened
00:54:44.420 | if we got to scrapping, you think?
00:54:45.980 | 'Cause at that point, I was pretty strong.
00:54:47.460 | - I would have dropped you.
00:54:48.500 | (laughing)
00:54:50.660 | I would have dropped you.
00:54:51.500 | - And you can ask her, see, when I get--
00:54:54.300 | - See, cut the camera.
00:54:55.140 | You don't even, I would have dropped you.
00:54:57.140 | - When I get mad, how strong do I get?
00:55:00.900 | - Oh, you get pretty strong.
00:55:02.180 | (laughing)
00:55:03.500 | - I used to get bad.
00:55:05.660 | - Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you,
00:55:07.220 | I mean, I'm sure, you know,
00:55:08.540 | we do the boxing and stuff in the off season,
00:55:10.260 | so I'm sure your hands are improved,
00:55:11.620 | but you would have got dropped.
00:55:12.700 | - It's cool.
00:55:13.620 | Nah, you are pretty broad.
00:55:14.980 | - Well, we'll find your picture up here,
00:55:16.740 | and your size, your pressure point.
00:55:19.620 | - I still have his before picture, too,
00:55:21.340 | that we took.
00:55:22.180 | I'll send it to you.
00:55:23.020 | - And let people decide who they think would have won.
00:55:25.700 | - That's funny.
00:55:26.540 | - Well, I appreciate you, bro.
00:55:27.380 | - Nah, I appreciate you having me on, bro.
00:55:28.820 | - Yes, sir.
00:55:29.660 | (hip hop music)
00:55:32.340 | - I always just think about,
00:55:35.140 | like, when you get mad,
00:55:35.980 | and you try to throw me over the banister.
00:55:37.540 | - I was young.
00:55:38.380 | I was like, four, I was like--
00:55:39.780 | - You were not four,
00:55:40.620 | 'cause we were in the second house, I think.
00:55:42.140 | - No, we were in the--
00:55:42.980 | - 'Cause the banister was at the house of Fishers.
00:55:45.580 | - Dude tried to throw you over a banister?
00:55:47.580 | - Yes, we had a banister.
00:55:48.820 | - I was a young boy.
00:55:49.660 | She had me so high.
00:55:50.500 | - And then you go up the stairs,
00:55:51.340 | and the banister was in the hallway,
00:55:52.540 | hardwood floor down there.
00:55:54.180 | - Ay, yo!
00:55:55.020 | - This guy walked in here on me,
00:55:56.100 | trying to lift me over the banister.
00:55:57.660 | I was like, what the,
00:55:58.500 | I think it's 'cause I took his lightsaber or something.
00:56:00.180 | I was freaking, I was so hot.
00:56:02.780 | - Dude was heated.