The Secret to Stronger Relationships | Sahil Bloom & Chris Hutchins
00:00:00.000 | This is one of my favorite models for relationships.
00:00:02.800 | When someone comes to you with a problem, you ask,
00:00:05.440 | "Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?"
00:00:08.960 | And it immediately cuts through the noise on that exact problem that you're identifying.
00:00:13.680 | My natural bias is as a fixer.
00:00:16.000 | Like, when my wife would come to me with a problem early in our relationship,
00:00:20.080 | I would be, like, trying to think,
00:00:21.760 | "Okay, well, you could have done this differently. You could have done that."
00:00:24.080 | And she would go nuts.
00:00:25.600 | And it took me years to realize all she wanted was to be listened to.
00:00:30.000 | She wanted to be heard.
00:00:31.360 | And then maybe she wanted to be hugged because her love language is touch.
00:00:34.800 | So, all I really needed to do in those moments was listen to her, hear her,
00:00:39.120 | and then give her a hug.
00:00:40.400 | But here I was spending all my time spinning my wheels trying to fix whatever the problem was.
00:00:45.680 | And so, it actually is, like, a really healthy way to identify
00:00:48.960 | what the other person needs from you in that moment.
00:00:51.920 | It's really, really helpful.
00:00:53.280 | Helped, heard, or hugged.