How and WHY to Create Ice Breakers for Your Next Party | All The Hacks Podcast Clip
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - That hit everything except this whole,
00:00:06.920 | this kind of looming topic of icebreakers.
00:00:09.860 | And I think anyone listening right now
00:00:11.320 | is kind of wondering, oh gosh,
00:00:12.480 | like what does Nick mean when he says icebreakers?
00:00:15.940 | - Yeah, and why do icebreakers?
00:00:17.160 | Aren't those silly?
00:00:18.640 | Aren't those childish?
00:00:19.480 | Well, we do icebreakers
00:00:21.280 | because it's a short survey of the room.
00:00:24.880 | And icebreakers also not only give your guests excuses
00:00:28.880 | to go meet new people, which by the way,
00:00:31.280 | that's why your party is going to be very successful.
00:00:34.240 | And that's why your friends will love you for hosting this
00:00:37.320 | because you are going to help them meet new people.
00:00:40.540 | Most adults haven't made a new friend
00:00:42.200 | in the last three years.
00:00:43.800 | And yet as we get older,
00:00:45.480 | we need friends more than ever, right?
00:00:47.160 | Friends become like a game of attrition.
00:00:49.320 | They have kids, they move, things happen.
00:00:51.320 | We don't see people as often.
00:00:53.260 | Your party will be successful
00:00:54.840 | because all of your guests
00:00:56.240 | are gonna talk to a lot of new people.
00:00:58.640 | How do we encourage that by using these icebreakers?
00:01:01.720 | Icebreakers are a short survey of the room.
00:01:04.920 | Generally, you'll go around the circle,
00:01:06.560 | you'll say your name,
00:01:07.480 | you'll say what you do for work.
00:01:08.700 | If you don't wanna say for work,
00:01:09.800 | you say something you're excited about.
00:01:11.800 | And then the third one,
00:01:12.720 | which is the icebreaker question, okay?
00:01:14.800 | So each icebreaker has three parts,
00:01:16.560 | name, what you do for work,
00:01:18.080 | and then the icebreaker question, right?
00:01:20.640 | You'll do three rounds of icebreakers.
00:01:22.440 | I think of icebreakers as a green, yellow, red scaffolding
00:01:27.600 | where you would wanna start your party
00:01:29.600 | with a green-level icebreaker.
00:01:32.000 | A green-level icebreaker, the one that I use,
00:01:34.240 | that I suggest everybody use for the first one,
00:01:37.000 | is what is one of your favorite things
00:01:39.600 | to eat for breakfast?
00:01:41.180 | So first, how does that hit with you?
00:01:44.880 | What are your thoughts?
00:01:45.720 | I'm ready for it.
00:01:46.540 | If you hate it, then tell me,
00:01:47.600 | and I'll tell you why it's great,
00:01:48.840 | but I just wanna hear your thoughts.
00:01:50.720 | - I mean, I don't actually eat breakfast that often, so--
00:01:53.200 | - Because why not?
00:01:55.000 | Why don't you choose to eat breakfast?
00:01:56.880 | - Uh, I, I don't know, I just--
00:02:01.880 | - You just skip, it's not for health reasons,
00:02:05.200 | you're not intermittent fasting, you're just,
00:02:06.480 | I'm just lazy.
00:02:07.640 | - I am just, I forget.
00:02:09.600 | - Sometimes it's been intermittent fasting,
00:02:11.920 | sometimes it's just been like, I don't wanna,
00:02:13.640 | it's just one more thing to think about during the day.
00:02:15.680 | - Yes, yeah.
00:02:16.800 | - Now, when you do eat breakfast,
00:02:18.180 | what's one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast,
00:02:19.820 | when you do?
00:02:21.140 | - I mean, when I do eat breakfast,
00:02:22.240 | it's usually like some ridiculous,
00:02:24.280 | like make an amazing breakfast for the weekend
00:02:26.460 | kind of thing, like lemon ricotta pancakes, or--
00:02:29.080 | - Are you, lemon ricotta pancakes, are you kidding me?
00:02:32.640 | - That's like a go-to, you know,
00:02:34.760 | once a month kind of thing in our house.
00:02:36.600 | - I've asked this icebreaker hundreds of times,
00:02:39.480 | I've never heard somebody say lemon ricotta pancakes,
00:02:44.020 | that's incredible.
00:02:45.760 | - Yeah, 'cause I think it's like,
00:02:46.680 | I don't make a lot of breakfast,
00:02:47.800 | so if I do make breakfast, I'm gonna, you know,
00:02:50.240 | step it up, and I have this recipe,
00:02:52.160 | now I feel like I should put it in the show notes,
00:02:54.020 | that I think is just like,
00:02:55.060 | every time I make these lemon ricotta pancakes,
00:02:57.000 | and they're not that hard, it just wins every time.
00:02:59.620 | - Wait, now I gotta know,
00:03:00.920 | what, like, how long does it take you to make them?
00:03:03.060 | Okay, look, if we're doing this at my party,
00:03:05.460 | I just wanna show you right there, what just happened.
00:03:08.000 | You expressed a piece of your personality,
00:03:10.500 | that you share and you make your secret thing,
00:03:13.260 | lemon ricotta pancakes.
00:03:16.120 | Now, you might not always eat breakfast,
00:03:18.040 | but you did get to share when you do make breakfast,
00:03:20.840 | what you make, okay?
00:03:22.700 | Everybody chooses or not chooses
00:03:25.760 | to eat breakfast every single day,
00:03:28.040 | and it is generally a positive, happy feeling that we have.
00:03:32.080 | A good green-level icebreaker
00:03:34.520 | is an icebreaker that's quick to answer,
00:03:37.080 | it's fast, and it doesn't incur judgment from others.
00:03:41.960 | A bad green icebreaker, which I would never do,
00:03:45.240 | would be something like,
00:03:46.520 | say your name, say what you do for work,
00:03:47.880 | and say your favorite book ever, okay?
00:03:52.360 | Because that's subjective, that's definitive,
00:03:55.420 | that's very hard to pick,
00:03:57.360 | it's going to maybe elicit a little bit of judgment,
00:04:00.000 | people are gonna try to show off, they don't know.
00:04:02.580 | Now, how do we modify that, right?
00:04:03.800 | It's what I said,
00:04:04.640 | what's one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast?
00:04:07.080 | I still wouldn't ask, what's one of your favorite books?
00:04:09.600 | I would ask that later,
00:04:10.920 | because a book is an intellectual thing, right?
00:04:13.760 | Breakfast is a human, delicious thing,
00:04:17.160 | it's a fun thing, it's an easy thing.
00:04:20.120 | So we ask that as just a way for everybody at your party
00:04:24.260 | to sort of sound off
00:04:25.720 | and express a piece of their personality.
00:04:28.280 | You do it very quick, a good icebreaker is a quick icebreaker
00:04:31.520 | so you're not going to allow for follow-up questions
00:04:33.640 | like I was drilling you on, right?
00:04:35.280 | You're just gonna have everybody go around.
00:04:37.420 | And then you just say, all right, thanks everybody,
00:04:40.160 | I do those icebreakers
00:04:41.200 | so we can all meet somebody new maybe,
00:04:43.360 | I hope you'll say hello.
00:04:44.460 | And then you as a host shut up,
00:04:46.840 | and you just let the party go,
00:04:49.020 | which is so awkward as a new host,
00:04:51.340 | if you've never done this, you're like this is terrifying.
00:04:55.000 | But then you do it and the room explodes, it comes alive,
00:04:58.040 | people go up and they talk to new people,
00:05:00.000 | you turn the music back up
00:05:01.320 | and everybody's making these conversations.
00:05:04.080 | So we do that because most parties you go to,
00:05:06.800 | you just went to your kid's birthday party recently,
00:05:09.800 | they didn't do icebreakers,
00:05:10.760 | you just maybe you bumped into somebody
00:05:12.680 | and started the conversation.
00:05:14.600 | I'm guessing, right?
00:05:15.440 | It's just physical proximity.
00:05:17.280 | - Don't let your kid drink that juice box
00:05:18.940 | 'cause my daughter just threw it on the ground.
00:05:20.460 | Like that was our icebreakers.
00:05:22.920 | - Yes, yes.
00:05:24.140 | And there's nothing wrong with those,
00:05:25.260 | those are fine gatherings.
00:05:27.000 | But for listeners of your show,
00:05:28.540 | they're interested in how to get more out of life,
00:05:31.080 | they're interested in optimizing things.
00:05:33.640 | And as cliche and as ridiculous as it sounds
00:05:36.440 | to optimize your social situations,
00:05:38.860 | it does help if the goal
00:05:40.460 | is to help your friends make more friends,
00:05:42.740 | to do a survey of the room,
00:05:44.260 | do a couple of them during your party,
00:05:46.420 | to give people excuses to go start a new conversation.
00:05:49.780 | Because by the way,
00:05:51.040 | the other reason we do icebreakers
00:05:53.000 | is it gives people an easy excuse
00:05:55.280 | to end their conversations.
00:05:58.100 | - So are you doing these like every 30 minutes,
00:06:00.380 | you kind of pop into an icebreaker and then turn it off?
00:06:04.020 | - That's exactly right.
00:06:04.860 | You do them every 30 minutes,
00:06:05.920 | you're gonna do them three times
00:06:07.080 | throughout your party, two or three times.
00:06:08.920 | And they should only take five or so minutes.
00:06:11.800 | By the way, a hack that everybody needs to know,
00:06:14.140 | the icebreakers, you have to be standing.
00:06:16.760 | You cannot let people sit down.
00:06:18.680 | It is the kryptonite to a successful,
00:06:21.520 | you can't do icebreakers sitting down.
00:06:24.460 | People will ask follow-up questions, they'll drone on.
00:06:27.120 | A good icebreaker is a fast one.
00:06:29.120 | - You said you go from green to yellow to red.
00:06:31.080 | What are the more advanced ones?
00:06:32.560 | And do you have people,
00:06:34.040 | because people are coming and going,
00:06:35.320 | do you redo the names and the works each time?
00:06:39.000 | - Yes, you redo the names, you do that for all of them.
00:06:41.720 | So your first icebreaker,
00:06:43.240 | I'll get into the details with you.
00:06:44.500 | Your first icebreaker you're gonna do
00:06:46.300 | when there's only five or six people who've shown up.
00:06:48.860 | And that is what I call lovingly
00:06:50.620 | the awkward zone at a party.
00:06:54.140 | It's the first 10 or 20 minutes
00:06:55.900 | when not many people are there.
00:06:57.700 | It's a little bit awkward.
00:06:59.600 | There's not enough energy in the room.
00:07:01.900 | You do the icebreaker to bust out of the awkward zone.
00:07:05.160 | You're gonna do that same icebreaker about 20 minutes later
00:07:07.940 | when now everybody has arrived.
00:07:09.880 | And then 30 minutes later,
00:07:11.280 | you'll do your last and final icebreaker.
00:07:13.960 | And what I like to ask is,
00:07:15.440 | say your name, say what you do for work,
00:07:17.640 | and then say one of the favorite pieces of media
00:07:22.200 | that you've consumed over the last couple months.
00:07:24.680 | That could be a show on Netflix.
00:07:26.760 | It could be a podcast like this.
00:07:28.280 | It could be a great book that you read,
00:07:30.180 | a long form article, a funny meme that you saw,
00:07:33.040 | a TikTok video, just a cool piece of media
00:07:36.100 | that you consumed and enjoyed.
00:07:38.400 | And Chris, this one works so well
00:07:40.440 | because everybody's sharing great recommendations
00:07:43.240 | for a book, a movie, something,
00:07:45.080 | and people are wanting to write down stuff.
00:07:46.960 | They're feeling smarter
00:07:48.800 | because everybody's sharing these great ideas.
00:07:51.000 | So I love that one.
00:07:52.200 | - What about that middle break?
00:07:53.640 | Any other tips for icebreakers beyond the two you shared?
00:07:56.960 | - One more that you could do,
00:07:58.560 | and this is, you've probably seen this online,
00:08:00.400 | used for engagement bait,
00:08:01.760 | is what is one of your favorite purchases of the last year?
00:08:05.400 | It could be a service or an activity,
00:08:07.440 | or it could be a physical object that you've purchased.
00:08:09.880 | Maybe it's a new car, maybe it's a kitchen appliance,
00:08:12.520 | but what's one of your favorite purchases
00:08:14.520 | that's made your life better during the last year?
00:08:17.240 | And people love to share.
00:08:18.920 | I love this one.