When Trials Kill Your Dreams
00:00:00.000 | I'm waiting in my weakness he may be deep in it.
00:00:03.360 | I be lying through my teeth to say I don't resent it.
00:00:06.640 | Even as I write these lines I'm close to tears.
00:00:10.000 | My body ain't been working right for seven years.
00:00:13.280 | So miss me with that keep your chin up try to smile.
00:00:16.400 | Bro I'm 26 I should feel better by a mile.
00:00:19.840 | That's from Trip Lee's track "Sweet Victory" off his latest album "Rise".
00:00:23.920 | We're talking with Trip Lee this week on the Ask Pastor John podcast.
00:00:27.440 | And we are honored to have you on brother and we respect you a lot here at Desiring
00:00:31.680 | God and I want to dive in deep from the start and ask you about personal suffering.
00:00:36.200 | Something a 27 year old shouldn't have much experience with but as the track explains
00:00:40.500 | you do in the form of chronic fatigue.
00:00:44.120 | And obviously for a guy like you who dreams big this trial impacts your life in a big
00:00:47.880 | way.
00:00:48.880 | How much does this continue to influence your life physically now and what has this trial
00:00:54.280 | taught you about the goodness of God?
00:00:57.360 | I've had chronic fatigue syndrome for about eight years now.
00:01:01.120 | There have been seasons where it really has been devastating to my life.
00:01:05.200 | I mean especially at first it really came out of nowhere and it does affect my life
00:01:09.800 | in really big ways.
00:01:11.520 | And it's always been really hard to kind of help others understand that.
00:01:14.800 | You know the ways that it can wreck your life to never have adequate energy.
00:01:19.680 | And the way I try to explain it sometimes is that energy is kind of like the fuel that
00:01:23.960 | we need for every little task we do, even small things like thinking or reading scripture
00:01:29.360 | or having conversations with people.
00:01:31.560 | And that's you know, energy is one of those things that I did not realize how much of
00:01:35.200 | a gift from God it was until I didn't have it.
00:01:38.400 | And so it does affect my life a lot physically even now.
00:01:41.240 | And there are seasons where because I'm unable to be as reliable as I want to be because
00:01:45.920 | my body is so undependable, you know, and it's so I never know when I will and won't
00:01:52.400 | have energy.
00:01:53.400 | And there are seasons where I feel like I just fall short in every area of my life and
00:01:56.200 | where I feel like I disappoint everyone in my life because I'm not able to be as reliable
00:02:00.480 | and dependable as I want to be where I don't feel like a good artist or good author or
00:02:04.000 | good rapper or good husband and father or good pastor.
00:02:08.000 | And it can be so discouraging.
00:02:09.420 | So in addition to just feeling physically awful, it affects me just kind of internally
00:02:13.960 | and you know just feeling discouraged.
00:02:15.520 | I mean one of the things that it's taught me, I think probably the main thing that it's
00:02:19.400 | taught me is really simple is that I'm weak.
00:02:23.200 | And when we're doing well physically or other ways, we can kind of live under the illusion
00:02:28.040 | that we're really strong, that we have it all together and that you know my job's doing
00:02:32.320 | well just because I'm working hard and my health's good because I eat good.
00:02:35.480 | But trials really have a way of putting your weakness in your face and leaving it there.
00:02:39.960 | When we're doing well, that weakness may be kind of off in the back but not as aware of
00:02:43.120 | it.
00:02:44.120 | Trials is like holding that weakness up as a picture and just putting it in your face
00:02:47.880 | all the time.
00:02:49.120 | And chronic weakness is like a nonstop daily reminder that we're weak and we desperately
00:02:55.040 | need God.
00:02:56.040 | And I think of like a second Corinthians 12 where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh
00:03:01.040 | and he makes clear that true strength comes from weakness.
00:03:04.240 | I mean he ends that little section by saying, "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
00:03:09.240 | And he's saying this because that's when the power of Christ rests on him.
00:03:12.720 | And so I feel like I've spent the last few years just pleading with God that I would
00:03:17.200 | be able to say, along with Paul, that I can boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses
00:03:23.120 | so that the power of Christ can rest on me.
00:03:25.800 | And that's been something I've been really praying God would do.
00:03:28.360 | And it's taught me that God's goodness doesn't always look the way I want it to.
00:03:32.640 | God is always good.
00:03:34.120 | But that doesn't mean that God always answers my prayers, even as I pray them for years.
00:03:38.760 | And it doesn't mean that God always makes seasons easy and shows me what He's doing
00:03:43.080 | right away.
00:03:44.080 | And then sometimes it takes searching Scripture and asking God for grace to see how we still
00:03:49.000 | good in the midst of really hard things.
00:03:51.120 | And you know, anytime that I do something, whether it's a book or an album, I never feel
00:03:55.920 | like I just cruise through the finish line.
00:03:57.840 | Like, man, that was easy.
00:03:58.840 | I always feel like I'm kind of limping and dragging myself through.
00:04:02.840 | And so what it's shown me is that every time I do something and that it's fruitful, it's
00:04:06.480 | not because of my strength, because my strength was not on display.
00:04:09.360 | It's because of God's.
00:04:10.680 | My weakness was on display and it made space for God's strength to show through all the
00:04:15.440 | more beautifully.
00:04:16.720 | My physical weakness is just a reminder of weakness all the way through and through.
00:04:22.240 | And you know, it's really not possible for me to in any given day feel like I have the
00:04:25.440 | strength that I need to do everything that I need to do.
00:04:28.560 | And it's just a great reminder of my desperate need for God.
00:04:31.560 | Amen.
00:04:32.560 | Thank you for your testimony.
00:04:34.560 | Tripoli's latest album and his new book are both titled Rise.
00:04:37.780 | You can find them at Amazon.com right now.
00:04:41.080 | The fight to find joy in Christ is a fight that resets every day.
00:04:45.600 | Trip will explain what this fight looks like for him personally tomorrow.
00:04:48.200 | I'm your host, Tony Ranke.
00:04:50.000 | Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast with guest Tripoli.
00:04:53.040 | [MUSIC]
00:05:03.040 | Sweet victory.
00:05:04.040 | [MUSIC]
00:05:07.200 | [BLANK_AUDIO]