I'm waiting in my weakness he may be deep in it. I be lying through my teeth to say I don't resent it. Even as I write these lines I'm close to tears. My body ain't been working right for seven years. So miss me with that keep your chin up try to smile.

Bro I'm 26 I should feel better by a mile. That's from Trip Lee's track "Sweet Victory" off his latest album "Rise". We're talking with Trip Lee this week on the Ask Pastor John podcast. And we are honored to have you on brother and we respect you a lot here at Desiring God and I want to dive in deep from the start and ask you about personal suffering.

Something a 27 year old shouldn't have much experience with but as the track explains you do in the form of chronic fatigue. And obviously for a guy like you who dreams big this trial impacts your life in a big way. How much does this continue to influence your life physically now and what has this trial taught you about the goodness of God?

I've had chronic fatigue syndrome for about eight years now. There have been seasons where it really has been devastating to my life. I mean especially at first it really came out of nowhere and it does affect my life in really big ways. And it's always been really hard to kind of help others understand that.

You know the ways that it can wreck your life to never have adequate energy. And the way I try to explain it sometimes is that energy is kind of like the fuel that we need for every little task we do, even small things like thinking or reading scripture or having conversations with people.

And that's you know, energy is one of those things that I did not realize how much of a gift from God it was until I didn't have it. And so it does affect my life a lot physically even now. And there are seasons where because I'm unable to be as reliable as I want to be because my body is so undependable, you know, and it's so I never know when I will and won't have energy.

And there are seasons where I feel like I just fall short in every area of my life and where I feel like I disappoint everyone in my life because I'm not able to be as reliable and dependable as I want to be where I don't feel like a good artist or good author or good rapper or good husband and father or good pastor.

And it can be so discouraging. So in addition to just feeling physically awful, it affects me just kind of internally and you know just feeling discouraged. I mean one of the things that it's taught me, I think probably the main thing that it's taught me is really simple is that I'm weak.

And when we're doing well physically or other ways, we can kind of live under the illusion that we're really strong, that we have it all together and that you know my job's doing well just because I'm working hard and my health's good because I eat good. But trials really have a way of putting your weakness in your face and leaving it there.

When we're doing well, that weakness may be kind of off in the back but not as aware of it. Trials is like holding that weakness up as a picture and just putting it in your face all the time. And chronic weakness is like a nonstop daily reminder that we're weak and we desperately need God.

And I think of like a second Corinthians 12 where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh and he makes clear that true strength comes from weakness. I mean he ends that little section by saying, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." And he's saying this because that's when the power of Christ rests on him.

And so I feel like I've spent the last few years just pleading with God that I would be able to say, along with Paul, that I can boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can rest on me. And that's been something I've been really praying God would do.

And it's taught me that God's goodness doesn't always look the way I want it to. God is always good. But that doesn't mean that God always answers my prayers, even as I pray them for years. And it doesn't mean that God always makes seasons easy and shows me what He's doing right away.

And then sometimes it takes searching Scripture and asking God for grace to see how we still good in the midst of really hard things. And you know, anytime that I do something, whether it's a book or an album, I never feel like I just cruise through the finish line.

Like, man, that was easy. I always feel like I'm kind of limping and dragging myself through. And so what it's shown me is that every time I do something and that it's fruitful, it's not because of my strength, because my strength was not on display. It's because of God's.

My weakness was on display and it made space for God's strength to show through all the more beautifully. My physical weakness is just a reminder of weakness all the way through and through. And you know, it's really not possible for me to in any given day feel like I have the strength that I need to do everything that I need to do.

And it's just a great reminder of my desperate need for God. Amen. Thank you for your testimony. Tripoli's latest album and his new book are both titled Rise. You can find them at Amazon.com right now. The fight to find joy in Christ is a fight that resets every day.

Trip will explain what this fight looks like for him personally tomorrow. I'm your host, Tony Ranke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast with guest Tripoli. Sweet victory.