RPF0526-Stupid_Pickup_Truck
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00:00:30.400 | Oh, you idiot!
00:00:33.920 | Are you kidding me?
00:00:36.320 | Arrghh!
00:00:38.280 | I cannot believe you are so stupid!
00:00:44.400 | Arrgh!
00:00:46.760 | I wanna punch you right now!
00:00:48.200 | You idiot!
00:00:49.200 | You idiot!
00:00:50.200 | You idiot!
00:00:51.200 | You bought a stupid pickup truck!
00:00:53.200 | And a new one!
00:00:56.160 | Brand new!
00:00:57.160 | Look at this stupid thing!
00:00:58.160 | Oh, here you are at the dealership.
00:01:00.160 | Oh look I got a...
00:01:01.160 | Oh my goodness.
00:01:03.160 | I'm flipping through Facebook here and I see your stupid post about you standing there
00:01:07.360 | with that goofy smile on your face about "Hey guys, we bought a stupid pickup truck!"
00:01:12.920 | Well you didn't say stupid, you thought it looked nice.
00:01:15.720 | "Had some problems with the other car and decided it was time for a change."
00:01:19.320 | Pfft!
00:01:20.320 | You freaking idiot.
00:01:21.480 | I cannot believe it.
00:01:22.480 | And you'd be so stupid as to post it on Facebook.
00:01:25.200 | Arrgh!
00:01:26.200 | Man!
00:01:27.200 | Do you not have a brain?
00:01:31.560 | Do you not think?
00:01:32.560 | Do you not...
00:01:33.560 | Arrgh!
00:01:34.560 | I wish I could tell this to your face but you're so stupid you would think I was being
00:01:38.280 | mean to you.
00:01:40.120 | Do you have no brain?
00:01:41.120 | Does your brain not work?
00:01:42.120 | Have you never thought about your finances?
00:01:45.040 | Have you never considered a single financial decision in your life?
00:01:50.200 | Maybe I'm being too hasty.
00:01:51.780 | After all I mean...
00:01:52.780 | Hold on.
00:01:53.780 | I don't know everything about your finances.
00:01:55.140 | After all I'm not your banker.
00:01:56.920 | There might be something I don't know.
00:02:00.740 | Maybe...
00:02:01.740 | Did anybody die?
00:02:02.740 | No, I don't see any.
00:02:03.740 | Nobody died.
00:02:05.800 | Did somebody give you a big gift?
00:02:07.200 | No, that's a big gift.
00:02:08.520 | You would have...
00:02:09.520 | I know you pretty well.
00:02:10.520 | You would have told me about it.
00:02:11.520 | No.
00:02:12.520 | You freaking idiot.
00:02:13.520 | I cannot believe it.
00:02:15.140 | You financed a stupid thing.
00:02:16.480 | Oh, it makes sense.
00:02:17.920 | Eighty-five percent of people who go out and buy a new car use financing because they're
00:02:21.600 | idiots and have no money.
00:02:23.360 | You know who uses financing to buy consumer crap?
00:02:28.260 | Like cars and trucks and motorcycles and all the other stupid consumer-grade crap?
00:02:34.240 | Idiots.
00:02:35.320 | And idiots wind up broke every single time, all the time, because they're idiots.
00:02:40.680 | Yes, that includes you.
00:02:43.040 | Thank goodness.
00:02:44.040 | Let's go see.
00:02:45.040 | I wonder if...
00:02:46.040 | Is there...
00:02:47.040 | I wonder how...
00:02:48.040 | Fifty-one thousand...
00:02:49.040 | Hold on.
00:02:50.040 | Which model is it?
00:02:51.040 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:02:52.040 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:02:54.480 | That's what this stupid thing costs.
00:02:57.640 | Here I am on trucar.com and...
00:02:59.480 | Hold on.
00:03:00.480 | Did I get the...
00:03:01.480 | No, it's the other...
00:03:02.480 | Yeah, there we go.
00:03:03.480 | Okay.
00:03:04.480 | I got to get the crew cap.
00:03:05.480 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:03:06.480 | Was it last...
00:03:07.480 | No, it's this year's model.
00:03:09.720 | You couldn't even be smart enough to go and buy last year's model at the dealership or
00:03:12.520 | go at the end of the year when you could have...
00:03:14.440 | Come on.
00:03:15.440 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:03:17.020 | Do you know what you could do with fifty-one thousand dollars?
00:03:20.840 | How do I know?
00:03:21.840 | Trucar.com, duh.
00:03:22.840 | Oh, I forgot.
00:03:23.840 | You're so stupid you didn't even think of shopping around.
00:03:27.520 | You didn't think, "Oh, maybe I should go and actually do some research and pit a dealer
00:03:30.760 | against each other and use the internet.
00:03:32.880 | After all, what is this internet thing that actually gets me good deals on stuff?"
00:03:36.160 | Yeah, no.
00:03:37.160 | You wandered into the truck dealership and you wandered out with a truck.
00:03:40.800 | No plan, no negotiating, no prearranged financing.
00:03:44.040 | You didn't go to your bank, your credit union.
00:03:45.680 | You took the stupid loan that they sold you in the dealership, you idiot.
00:03:48.720 | They saw you coming and they started laughing.
00:03:51.720 | They put you over their knee and they haven't stopped laughing yet.
00:03:55.840 | Man, could you not be a little bit more intelligent?
00:04:00.400 | I am so sick and tired of hearing about your problems and then you do something like this.
00:04:04.920 | I thought it was bad, but now it gets worse.
00:04:08.680 | My goodness.
00:04:09.680 | Okay, I get it.
00:04:11.880 | Your car broke down.
00:04:13.840 | Did you not think of fixing the car instead of buying a fifty-one thousand dollar pickup
00:04:21.640 | truck?
00:04:22.640 | I've spent a decent amount of money at the mechanic in my day, but I've never spent
00:04:28.200 | fifty-one thousand dollars there.
00:04:30.960 | Oh, of course, you didn't have the money to fix it.
00:04:34.040 | Yeah, because you're an idiot and you've never thought about saving money.
00:04:36.960 | Did you never think about the fact that cars might break?
00:04:41.400 | You know what?
00:04:42.400 | Cars cost money.
00:04:43.400 | Vehicles require repair and your body requires food.
00:04:46.360 | My goodness.
00:04:47.360 | My four-year-old has better forethought than you do.
00:04:49.880 | Thank goodness.
00:04:51.680 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:04:54.760 | Yeah, I know you're tired of trying to figure out a ride or figure out how to borrow a car,
00:05:00.400 | but man, you could rent a car for cheaper than this thing.
00:05:02.920 | Okay, hold on.
00:05:03.920 | Let's see here.
00:05:04.920 | Fifty-one thousand dollars.
00:05:05.920 | So in the first year you own this thing, this stupid truck is going to lose twenty percent
00:05:10.440 | of its value in the first year.
00:05:12.680 | Maybe even more because after all it's a pickup truck.
00:05:15.040 | Okay, well maybe I guess there's a little bit of an argument that a pickup truck sometimes
00:05:18.960 | ... No, not this brand.
00:05:20.440 | At least a Toyota pickup truck.
00:05:22.160 | If you bought a new one, it would have been a better buy than in the used market, but
00:05:26.000 | no, you bought a domestic pickup truck.
00:05:29.640 | These things are ... Come on.
00:05:32.080 | All right, so fifty-one ... Let's just keep it simple.
00:05:35.120 | Fifty thousand dollars.
00:05:36.120 | Twenty percent of that truck's value means that you're going to lose ten thousand dollars
00:05:40.920 | this year.
00:05:41.920 | Ten thousand dollars.
00:05:44.960 | Are you such an idiot that you didn't stop and calculate the fact that you're going to
00:05:48.080 | lose ten thousand dollars this year on this stupid pickup truck?
00:05:55.960 | That's over eight hundred dollars per month.
00:05:59.760 | Every single month.
00:06:01.600 | Now let's do some math.
00:06:03.360 | You earn thirty-four thousand dollars per year.
00:06:05.840 | Yes, I know exactly how much you earn because the idiot leaves your personal documents lying
00:06:10.440 | around your house and of course I happen to care about money, so when I see ... Anyway,
00:06:16.120 | whatever, you really should take better care of your stuff.
00:06:20.400 | Thirty-four thousand dollars per year.
00:06:21.400 | That's because you make sixteen dollars an hour because you spend all your time hanging
00:06:25.040 | out on Facebook and hanging out on YouTube, reading car magazines and hadn't spent enough
00:06:31.000 | time open a book and learn how to get a decent job.
00:06:35.120 | This month you're going to spend ... Let's see.
00:06:38.520 | How many hours?
00:06:39.640 | Okay, so thirty ... Ten thousand dollars.
00:06:43.880 | Eight hundred and thirty-three dollars per month divided by sixteen dollars an hour.
00:06:47.560 | That means that this month you're going to spend fifty-two hours working a job that you
00:06:53.440 | hate so your fat, shiny truck can sit there in the parking lot in the hot sun all day
00:06:59.720 | getting its paint messed up because you bought this stupid domestic truck.
00:07:03.240 | They can't even put a paint job on the things.
00:07:05.360 | You never looked around and looked at ... Okay.
00:07:08.480 | But wait, it's worse.
00:07:11.360 | You bought this thing with post-tax dollars.
00:07:14.080 | That's because after all, thirty-four thousand dollars a year, sixteen dollars an hour, you're
00:07:18.480 | actually only making about thirteen dollars an hour if we factor in your employment taxes
00:07:23.560 | and your income taxes.
00:07:26.400 | Oh, and it's worse than that because not only are you losing over eight hundred dollars
00:07:30.680 | a month on depreciation, but we have to add in financing costs because you bought a new
00:07:38.160 | one and we got to add in high insurance because you got to pay this big old insurance.
00:07:43.960 | Oh, and gap insurance.
00:07:44.960 | I forgot about that because you didn't put any money down.
00:07:48.080 | I bet you we're over a thousand bucks a month here.
00:07:52.200 | Very conservative.
00:07:53.200 | It's probably more.
00:07:54.200 | Okay.
00:07:55.200 | A thousand dollars a month.
00:07:56.200 | Be conservative.
00:07:57.200 | Be conservative.
00:07:58.200 | Over a thousand dollars a month in flat costs plus the cost of fuel and you bought a pickup
00:08:07.200 | truck.
00:08:08.200 | Well, whatever.
00:08:09.200 | A thousand dollars a month.
00:08:11.200 | Okay.
00:08:12.200 | Thirteen dollars an hour.
00:08:13.200 | A thousand dollars a month.
00:08:14.200 | Do you know what that means?
00:08:19.200 | That if you're making thirteen dollars an hour and spending a thousand dollars a month
00:08:24.560 | on this stupid piece of junk, that's over seventy-six hours this month that you're going
00:08:33.480 | to be working to pay for that stupid thing.
00:08:36.480 | Man, do you not think?
00:08:39.600 | Seventy-six hours.
00:08:40.600 | Over seventy-six hours.
00:08:41.600 | That's almost two weeks of your life this month spent working to pay for this truck.
00:08:47.720 | Do you realize that you only have about four weeks a month to work and you're spending
00:08:52.920 | almost half of them to pay for this truck?
00:08:55.960 | Let's do this.
00:08:58.640 | How many hours are you going to drive the truck this month?
00:09:00.280 | Let's say you live about twenty minutes from work.
00:09:02.400 | Let's say that you drive one hour every single day.
00:09:05.720 | One hour of driving every single day.
00:09:08.560 | Seven days per week to work, to the lake, whatever.
00:09:12.240 | Seven days per week.
00:09:14.280 | That's thirty-one days per month.
00:09:17.200 | At thirty-one hours of driving per month, you're going to be spending more time at your
00:09:22.600 | job working at a job you hate to earn the money to pay for a pickup truck that sits
00:09:32.080 | in the parking lot and gets destroyed by the sun than you are going to be actually driving
00:09:38.240 | that thing.
00:09:39.240 | You know, that's probably even too conservative.
00:09:42.440 | That's less than that.
00:09:43.880 | You're spending more time.
00:09:46.440 | That's insane.
00:09:48.240 | You are an idiot.
00:09:52.880 | You bought a pickup truck.
00:09:53.880 | Okay, fine.
00:09:54.880 | Okay, I know you needed a car, but you bought a pickup truck?
00:09:58.440 | Do you know how stupid that pickup truck is?
00:10:00.800 | That is like the dumbest vehicle in the world for a dude like you to drive.
00:10:05.040 | You live in Florida.
00:10:06.580 | You have no ice, no snow, and it barely rains.
00:10:10.240 | And when it does rain, it's during the day when you're at work anyway because you're
00:10:12.600 | an idiot and you drive a pickup truck.
00:10:14.240 | You don't need a pickup truck.
00:10:17.800 | You live in a townhouse.
00:10:20.040 | You don't live at the top of a mountain where you need a high-clearance, four-wheel-drive
00:10:23.960 | vehicle to get you up the mountain.
00:10:26.760 | You live in a townhouse in Florida on paved roads.
00:10:32.480 | My grandmother on her tricycle could get across the lawn.
00:10:36.360 | You think you need a pickup truck?
00:10:37.880 | Well, at least you bought a two-wheel-drive truck.
00:10:41.640 | That was smart.
00:10:43.280 | After all, two-wheel-drive truck has less issues.
00:10:45.560 | It's a little more efficient to own, costs a little bit less.
00:10:48.120 | But you know what?
00:10:49.360 | The whole reason you bought this truck was to make yourself feel like a man, and you
00:10:52.560 | bought a two-wheel-drive truck, so now you look like a dweeb.
00:10:55.560 | If you bought the thing for sex appeal because you wanted to drive a pickup truck, at least
00:10:59.840 | you could have been a self-respecting man who went all the way and bought a decent-looking
00:11:05.040 | pickup truck.
00:11:06.600 | But now, no, you bought a two-wheel-drive pickup truck, and now you don't have the
00:11:11.040 | money to make it actually look cool.
00:11:13.720 | You look like every other idiot driving a two-wheel-drive pickup truck.
00:11:19.640 | Maybe you can lower it.
00:11:20.640 | Oh, you're white.
00:11:21.640 | You're not going to lower it.
00:11:23.280 | That doesn't work.
00:11:24.280 | You're going to have to get yours and put on some stupid mud tires.
00:11:27.400 | Call up Fabtech or Fastech or whatever.
00:11:30.440 | Maybe you could put a topper on it, at least make it semi-useful.
00:11:32.480 | I'll try you out with that stupid pickup truck.
00:11:37.000 | No, no, because if you put a topper on it, you'll look like a dweeb.
00:11:42.160 | You're going to go and get some stupid tonneau cover, and you bought a new one, so now you
00:11:45.840 | can't just go on Craigslist and pay $100 to get something that some other idiot is
00:11:50.000 | selling.
00:11:51.000 | Maybe you're going to go down to A.R.E. or whatever and pay $1,000 to get a custom-matched
00:11:56.000 | paint cover.
00:11:57.000 | No, you don't have $1,000.
00:11:59.000 | Oh, you're going to buy some stupid rubber thing that a thief can slice with a nail clipper.
00:12:05.000 | Steal all your stuff because you bought a pickup truck.
00:12:07.200 | Oh, you put the stupid boxes in the thing.
00:12:10.400 | Yeah, because the pickup truck is the most worthless vehicle ever.
00:12:13.200 | It has no place to put things, and so you've got to buy extra boxes that look like they
00:12:18.000 | were manufactured in 1962 to put them in the bed, actually have a place to lock it up.
00:12:22.840 | At least you bought a crew cab.
00:12:24.360 | I'll give you that.
00:12:26.880 | After all, you aren't married.
00:12:27.880 | Your wife wants kids.
00:12:28.880 | Then again, have you never in your life tried to put a kid in a car seat?
00:12:34.360 | Have you never in your life tried to actually accomplish the contortions that are required
00:12:39.760 | with the giant car seats to get the kid into the thing when you got the stupid little weird
00:12:44.880 | door on the back of a crew cab of a pickup truck and you curled around it to buckle the
00:12:49.760 | kid in?
00:12:51.080 | There's a reason many vans have sliding doors, just saying.
00:12:54.080 | You idiot.
00:12:55.080 | Don't you know Home Depot rents pickup trucks?
00:12:58.500 | If you actually needed a pickup truck, you could just trot down to Home Depot or Lowe's
00:13:02.400 | and rent the stupid thing.
00:13:03.640 | It's $19 plus what?
00:13:05.600 | $50 will get you everything you need to know.
00:13:08.800 | If you need a bigger one, uhaul.com, duh.
00:13:11.520 | You won't even use the stupid new pickup truck because you're scared to scratch the bed.
00:13:16.400 | Either you're not going to use it or you're going to wander down and pay $1,000 to protect
00:13:24.040 | the bed.
00:13:25.040 | That's how worthless these things are.
00:13:26.600 | Or you could have bought a trailer.
00:13:28.720 | My goodness, $300, $400.
00:13:32.760 | You could buy yourself a cheap utility trailer and it would have worked great.
00:13:37.200 | Whole lot smarter than a stupid pickup truck.
00:13:40.880 | Come on, man.
00:13:41.880 | At least if you were going to buy a pickup truck, you could have bought an intelligent
00:13:44.920 | one.
00:13:45.920 | I will give you that you bought a crew cab.
00:13:46.920 | That was good.
00:13:47.920 | Okay.
00:13:48.920 | But you could have at least bought a smaller one.
00:13:52.440 | Dude, you're not a contractor.
00:13:54.360 | You're not a farmer.
00:13:55.620 | You don't haul tractors.
00:13:58.440 | What do you need?
00:13:59.440 | A pickup truck that'll haul a 24,000 pound trailer or carry 7,000 pounds of cargo in
00:14:04.920 | the bed?
00:14:05.920 | You're a dude who drives to work from your little townhouse and you bought a pickup truck.
00:14:12.640 | At least buy a smaller one or a cheaper one or a used one.
00:14:17.240 | Or at least if you're going to buy a pickup truck, buy a sexy one.
00:14:21.640 | You could have bought one that was more fuel efficient.
00:14:23.680 | You don't need a V8.
00:14:25.640 | You're not towing anything.
00:14:27.520 | You could have bought one that was actually going to last you a long time, hand it down
00:14:30.320 | to your kids.
00:14:31.320 | Grandkids have a useful vehicle around the house, but no.
00:14:35.280 | You bought a Chevrolet.
00:14:36.280 | Well, I can't keep a company out of bankruptcy.
00:14:41.120 | At least they're making better cars than they used to.
00:14:43.960 | But any of those options would have required a little bit of forethought, a little bit
00:14:48.760 | of planning, which my friend, I love you, but this is not your forte.
00:14:54.280 | I wonder how much your interest payment is.
00:14:57.840 | I wonder, are they doing any deals?
00:15:01.280 | I don't see no 0%.
00:15:04.680 | No special end of the year closeouts, no holiday sales.
00:15:08.880 | Why did you buy this now?
00:15:10.440 | Oh yeah, your car broke.
00:15:12.440 | Oh.
00:15:13.440 | I wonder, did you, no, you're not a member of a credit union.
00:15:17.080 | Could have gotten a cheap loan from a credit union, but no, you're an idiot working with
00:15:20.520 | a bank.
00:15:22.640 | You know what?
00:15:23.640 | You don't make enough money to qualify for this loan.
00:15:29.720 | Your wife's got that dead end job and you've got this $34,000 a year, mostly dead end job.
00:15:35.080 | You don't make enough money to, I bet, you know what?
00:15:38.480 | Tell me you didn't.
00:15:40.540 | You co-signed it, didn't you?
00:15:43.920 | Who was it?
00:15:44.920 | Who?
00:15:45.920 | Your dad?
00:15:46.920 | No, he would be smarter than that.
00:15:49.880 | Your wife's dad co-signed for you.
00:15:53.960 | Are you kidding me?
00:15:56.280 | What a sucker you are.
00:15:58.440 | You have no self-respect.
00:16:01.080 | This whole giant financial system wants to throw money at you and you're such an idiot.
00:16:05.920 | You can't figure out how to get your own money.
00:16:08.320 | Now you got to go into business with your father-in-law?
00:16:10.320 | What a sucker he is.
00:16:14.920 | He'll be paying that debt.
00:16:16.480 | He's not realized that you're an idiot.
00:16:18.800 | You can't seem to pay your bills.
00:16:20.160 | You can't seem to think ahead.
00:16:21.320 | Thank goodness.
00:16:22.320 | You're screwing up your marriage.
00:16:23.920 | Man, I want so much better for you, but dude, you are screwing up your marriage by making
00:16:29.640 | stupid decisions like buying a pickup truck.
00:16:33.400 | I've seen this again and again and again.
00:16:36.360 | Why can we not say something?
00:16:38.040 | No, if I put this, it'll just start an argument.
00:16:42.400 | Dude, listen to me.
00:16:44.600 | Your wife wants to have a baby.
00:16:47.080 | She says that all the time.
00:16:49.400 | She wants to have a baby.
00:16:51.280 | Most women do.
00:16:53.060 | But she feels insecure about it because you can't afford it.
00:16:56.800 | Do you know why you can't afford it?
00:16:58.960 | Because your stupid pickup truck is stealing all your money.
00:17:03.120 | Do you want to know why your sex life sucks?
00:17:06.740 | Because the insecurity that she feels makes her feel unsafe.
00:17:10.920 | When she feels unsafe, this hurts her self-confidence.
00:17:14.280 | The loss of self-confidence makes her feel unattractive.
00:17:17.600 | When she feels unattractive, she's not sexually confident.
00:17:20.280 | When she's not sexually ... You finish the rest.
00:17:23.580 | Why is she not attracted to you?
00:17:25.540 | Because you're an idiot and you don't give her any decent reason to do it.
00:17:32.300 | Your wife wants 2.7 children, or at least that's what every other woman reports.
00:17:36.540 | I don't know what her exactly, that's between you and her, but on average, she wants 2.7
00:17:42.240 | children.
00:17:43.240 | But you don't have the money to pay for them.
00:17:47.620 | So you'll send mama off to work because you're too impotent to earn a decent income and too
00:17:52.680 | much of an idiot to make a plan for the future.
00:17:56.280 | You know what she finds sexy?
00:17:57.660 | A man with a plan.
00:17:59.420 | There was a time in which you actually had a plan.
00:18:02.680 | You actually tried, but now you're an idiot and your plan goes as far as, "Oh, our car
00:18:07.220 | broke so let's go buy a pickup truck."
00:18:10.220 | You ain't got no plan because you're acting like a childish idiot.
00:18:14.660 | At least a child is cute.
00:18:16.900 | At least a child can be encouraged and directed, but you're a grown man.
00:18:20.780 | You're not cute.
00:18:21.780 | You're an idiot.
00:18:24.140 | You wonder why she doesn't find you attractive?
00:18:27.700 | Because you don't make a freaking plan.
00:18:30.860 | You know who has a plan, buddy?
00:18:32.860 | Mama's boss.
00:18:33.860 | After all, why do you think he's a boss?
00:18:36.420 | Because he actually made a plan and followed it.
00:18:39.620 | You know what mama finds sexy?
00:18:41.660 | A man with a plan.
00:18:43.340 | Not a man with a pickup truck, a man with a plan.
00:18:45.580 | Do you see where I'm going here?
00:18:47.940 | Oh, Joshua, too strong.
00:18:50.380 | Tell me, have you never in your life sat down for a beer with a divorced man and asked him
00:18:55.780 | how it happened?
00:18:56.780 | Oh, wait, I forgot you can't afford beer because you have a pickup truck.
00:19:00.300 | Have you never turned on the internet?
00:19:01.300 | Have you never listened to a country song?
00:19:03.380 | You never wondered why country songs are filled with guys with pickup trucks who come home
00:19:07.140 | to find their wife in bed with another man and thought there might be a connection?
00:19:12.260 | Stupid pickup trucks.
00:19:13.260 | Hey, she likes it.
00:19:14.260 | Oh, you say she likes it.
00:19:16.580 | She likes it because she's hoping it'll make you happy.
00:19:20.380 | She's likes it because she's hoping it'll make you feel more self-confident so that
00:19:23.860 | you'll actually make a plan, go for a promotion, get a better job, because all those things
00:19:31.100 | would actually increase your sex appeal and she wants you to be happy.
00:19:36.060 | She's thinking maybe a pickup truck would be fun, maybe it'll help you.
00:19:39.300 | But dude, listen, when you bought a pickup truck, she wasn't seeing it sit in the parking
00:19:45.420 | lot, get destroyed by the sun.
00:19:48.340 | She was thinking of it hooked up to a wakeboarding boat, parked down at the boat ramp.
00:19:53.580 | She was imagining herself out on the wakeboarding boat and imagining how great you'll think
00:19:57.460 | she looks in her bikini on the tube behind.
00:20:00.300 | But you didn't think about that when you bought the stupid pickup truck.
00:20:05.500 | You could have paid $2,000 and bought a pickup truck that was cheap and that was old and
00:20:10.860 | could tow your boat down to the boat ramp and you would have had enough money to buy
00:20:13.700 | a boat.
00:20:15.120 | But now you're broke.
00:20:18.100 | You have no money to buy a boat because you're broke because you bought the stupid pickup
00:20:21.620 | truck.
00:20:22.620 | Heck, if you'd made a plan, you could have realized that there are a bazillion ways where
00:20:26.200 | you could actually go out and enjoy a Saturday together that don't cost you a ton of money.
00:20:30.820 | You actually have some time with her.
00:20:32.820 | A little bit of time not spent complaining about your stupid dead-end job would sure
00:20:36.500 | help your marriage.
00:20:39.220 | Have you never read a book on foreplay?
00:20:42.260 | It doesn't start five minutes before, it starts the morning before.
00:20:46.020 | Do you know that they rent canoes down at the lake for $15 an hour?
00:20:51.780 | You don't need a pickup truck to buy a canoe.
00:20:54.820 | I know you were thinking that.
00:20:55.900 | You were thinking, "I got to actually own a pickup truck so I can buy a canoe."
00:20:59.540 | Just go rent the stupid thing.
00:21:01.620 | But actually invest some effort.
00:21:04.900 | Rent the canoe, $15 an hour.
00:21:06.900 | Want a wakeboarding boat?
00:21:10.100 | Rent one of those for $150 a day, gas included and you don't have to wash the thing out when
00:21:13.940 | you're done.
00:21:15.540 | If you did that every single Saturday, four days a month, that would still be less than
00:21:21.900 | your stupid pickup truck is costing you this month.
00:21:25.740 | My goodness.
00:21:27.220 | I'm being too hard.
00:21:30.260 | No, I'm not.
00:21:32.420 | If you don't get busy, your stupid pickup truck is going to cost you your life and it
00:21:39.060 | may cost you your wife.
00:21:40.060 | That would be a good thing, you have a pickup truck because you need some place to sleep
00:21:45.020 | when she walks off with all your money, your house, half your income for the rest of your
00:21:48.100 | life because of your emotional abandonment and abuse.
00:21:51.180 | Doubt me?
00:21:52.180 | Good grief.
00:21:53.180 | Grow a pair of balls, walk down to the local bar and actually talk to some guy who's been
00:21:56.940 | there.
00:21:57.940 | Or if you can't do that, go online.
00:21:59.900 | Yes, indeed.
00:22:01.020 | When you spend all your time working to pay for your stupid pickup truck because you thought
00:22:05.500 | she wanted a pickup truck, she now interprets that as emotional abandonment and believes
00:22:10.220 | it gives her a rock solid reason to get a wee bit closer with her boss.
00:22:13.220 | Think about it.
00:22:14.220 | He's not tired from working a job to pay for a pickup truck that's rotting in the parking
00:22:18.060 | lot.
00:22:19.060 | He is emotionally available.
00:22:20.820 | He's not an idiot with no plan.
00:22:22.340 | He's got a plan.
00:22:24.740 | He's not some broke loser who can't afford to have a baby.
00:22:28.260 | He actually has money and he has a clue about life.
00:22:32.260 | You don't.
00:22:33.260 | Now listen, dude, I'm yelling at you because I love you and I hurt for you and this is
00:22:39.900 | just like one thing.
00:22:41.860 | Do you not see the connection?
00:22:44.380 | Do you not see that you've been doing this for a decade?
00:22:48.500 | You've never sat down and thought about your money.
00:22:50.420 | You've never made a plan.
00:22:51.420 | She wants to buy a house, wants to redecorate the kitchen.
00:22:53.780 | I got no money.
00:22:56.060 | It's because you bought a freaking stereo and then you bought a motorcycle and now you
00:23:04.580 | bought a $51,000 pickup truck.
00:23:14.740 | You're screwed, buddy.
00:23:16.100 | You got no way out.
00:23:19.620 | You're upside down.
00:23:21.820 | This loan, you'll never sell the thing for what you owe on it.
00:23:25.900 | I don't know, maybe if you returned it today, you might get your money back.
00:23:28.900 | No, hold on.
00:23:29.900 | When did you post this on Facebook?
00:23:30.900 | No, too late for that.
00:23:35.340 | You're screwed, buddy.
00:23:37.620 | There's no escape plan.
00:23:40.340 | You've been so stupid.
00:23:41.340 | It's all your fault.
00:23:42.580 | You're going to reap a long, long harvest of pain.
00:23:49.620 | You could get it together.
00:23:50.780 | You could sell the thing, recognize your loss, stroke a check, chalk it up to stupid tax
00:23:57.180 | because you've been stupid, or you can keep going through this pain for a very long time.
00:24:02.020 | Dude, listen, don't get me wrong.
00:24:04.380 | I think pickup trucks are fine if you're a trucker or a cowboy or you actually need the
00:24:10.420 | thing.
00:24:11.420 | If you want to buy one for fun, go for it, but get rich first, then get a pickup truck.
00:24:16.780 | Please, dude, I beg you.
00:24:20.740 | Stop doing stupid stuff with your life.
00:24:24.020 | Please, stop it.
00:24:28.020 | You keep doing stupid stuff like this again and again and again, and you're going to wind
00:24:35.180 | up getting screwed again and again and again.
00:24:42.340 | I got no idea what to tell you about this stupid truck, but dude, what are you going
00:24:48.180 | to change?
00:24:49.180 | When are you going to think?
00:24:51.820 | This is all related.
00:24:52.820 | It's not like pickup trucks and your money are not related.
00:24:56.860 | The reason you're broke is your pickup truck, but the reason you bought your pickup truck
00:25:02.100 | is because you don't think about the future.
00:25:05.220 | You can't delay gratification.
00:25:06.820 | You can't make a plan to actually save 500 bucks to go to the mechanic because your car
00:25:11.220 | is going to break down.
00:25:14.340 | The fact that you can't think and can't plan ahead is what keeps you from getting educated
00:25:21.660 | enough to get a decent job or at least getting a certification so you can add an extra couple
00:25:26.940 | bucks an hour.
00:25:27.940 | Come on, man.
00:25:28.940 | This is all related.
00:25:32.980 | You're trying to spend money to make up for your emotional problems, and trust me, I know
00:25:37.700 | I stepped over the bounds a little bit in talking about your sex life, but a weak, emotionally
00:25:43.860 | impotent dude is not generally very attractive to women.
00:25:49.820 | Now if you fix that, your wife will be fine.
00:25:54.020 | She loves you, dude.
00:25:55.020 | She cares about you.
00:25:56.020 | You don't have to worry about her boss, but as long as you keep acting like an idiot,
00:26:01.940 | well, if he doesn't, you've got competition.
00:26:08.380 | Then you come crying about how you're broke because you get divorced.
00:26:15.300 | Think you're broke now?
00:26:16.300 | You'd be a lot broker then.
00:26:18.820 | Oh, well, if only you'd ask a question.
00:26:24.860 | I could help you, but I've learned stupid people like doing stupid stuff.
00:26:30.180 | They don't ask people for help.
00:26:31.900 | I'll just keep on being my boring old self and enjoy my little pickup truck that actually
00:26:39.380 | pulls something that was cheap.
00:26:41.740 | I'll enjoy having money in the bank.
00:26:43.380 | My wife and I will have great sex.
00:26:45.260 | We'll enjoy a nice house.
00:26:46.260 | Actually, the time and the money to use the thing, your problem.
00:26:50.900 | Whatever.
00:26:51.900 | Make your bed and lie in it.
00:26:54.060 | It's a free world.
00:26:55.820 | Libraries exist.
00:26:56.820 | Internet exists.
00:26:57.820 | Dude, there's freaking podcasts, YouTube channels all over the place.
00:27:00.900 | But listen, could take an interest.
00:27:03.260 | Anyway, better stop while I'm behind.
00:27:05.460 | Whatever, dude.
00:27:06.460 | Wish you all the best.