Treating Depression & PTSD with Ibogaine & DMT | DJ Shipley & Dr. Andrew Huberman

00:00:00.000 | and she looked over and she goes if you love me you'll go I went I'll go do psychedelics

00:00:08.180 | with my friends in Mexico sure I never thought it would do anything because I had messed up

00:00:12.680 | so much until that point all the pharmaceuticals all the mistakes I had made the infidelity

00:00:21.000 | everything had led me up to that point and I had that secret inside me and I did not have

00:00:26.520 | the strength to tell her I didn't want to break her heart about all the things I had messed up and

00:00:30.760 | for me if you think me going down to Mexico is going to save our marriage I will 100% do it but

00:00:37.240 | I never thought for a chance it would never and I went down there with a bunch of guys that were

00:00:43.000 | legends inside of the community and you know Ambio Trevor Jose Jonathan Brianna everybody Ambio Life

00:00:51.320 | scientists they run the best facility I've ever been a part of in any facility that medicine is so

00:00:58.760 | strong and I think that's why guys get such relief it's the only thing stronger than your ego because

00:01:04.420 | you've turned yourself into this vessel you think represents the essence of what being a Navy SEAL is

00:01:08.780 | you're hard you're determined you'll never lose like you you'll sacrifice everything right now if the group

00:01:14.080 | asked you to do it but you won't do it for yourself you'll never put your individual needs above the needs

00:01:19.440 | of the group and this is one point where you have to you have to go for the good of the group

00:01:24.260 | I have to suck up my ego got to suck up my pride and I have to try to kill it right now and we went

00:01:30.840 | down there and took that medicine and I have a combatives instructor his name's Tom Kyer from

00:01:37.940 | SEALC tactical group if you've ever watched the movie The Hunted with Denicio Del Toro the knife fighting

00:01:43.100 | that's what they do and they are the best in the world and Tom Kyer is a knowledge transfer specialist

00:01:48.440 | he's changed my life in mindset more than anybody else on the planet and he told me a quote the other

00:01:53.260 | he goes if you understand no explanations needed if you don't understand no explanation is possible and that came from Dave Joyce and other SEALC disciple and it's the truest thing I've ever heard unless you've done Ibogaine unless you've done

00:02:12.080 | psychedelics in a therapeutic setting you'll have no idea how powerful it is

00:02:16.900 | and when I woke up that next day everything I had ever done negative positive erased everything negative every conversation every bad deed every time I've hurt anybody every time I've made my wife cry every time I've not been present was in the forefront of my mind

00:02:30.900 | and I felt absolutely terrible I felt like a monster for everything I had done every time I had not been present every time I had sacrificed them for this thing I didn't want to go home and at the same token it was the only time in my life I'd ever been homesick

00:02:46.720 | I wanted to teleport and wrap my arms around those three but I was so embarrassed at everything that I had done there's no way I can do it I can't go home and break their heart and you have the gray day after you do Ibogaine I mean it feels like you got hit by a freight train just in your fields dudes are throwing up all day depending on how your experience is

00:03:08.400 | the next day you do 5 MEO DMT and that's the ego death you know comes Sonoran Desert Toad they milk out the poison glands and that's essentially what you're smoking it's pretty intimidating looks like you're smoking crack rock and

00:03:22.940 | that experience when you smoke that it must be like either we're finding religion or what dying's like

00:03:31.220 | well you almost died with the electrocution and we had a very accomplished neuroscientist on the podcast Christophe Koch who talked about he's been studying consciousness for a long time and he talked about his experiences on 5 MEO DMT

00:03:45.380 | total dissolution of self total dissolution of space and time but he described that he that his mind was still there but nothing else was there and again if someone hasn't done it I've never done it but if someone hasn't done it I'm

00:04:01.200 | guessing that no description will will suffice I've heard it like from another team guy being described as being strapped to the shockwave of an atom bomb I feel like you know I've heard a bunch of different descriptions sounds

00:04:12.540 | when you come out of that experience however how did that reframe the electrocution the loss of I mean we could spend three days talking about every single guy that you know that's been killed and still probably only touch on

00:04:30.220 | a small number of them sadly you know so how does all that get reframed coming out of an experience like that

00:04:38.060 | the biggest concern doing Ibogaine was that you were going to be stuck inside of your own thoughts

00:04:44.160 | everybody you had lost you were just going to relive it you were going to be in the back of that helicopter you were just going to have to relive that for 24 straight hours

00:04:51.900 | and I will tell you that not a single person that I have ever done Ibogaine with has ever had any military experience

00:04:58.940 | it's always been your childhood and then a reflection of what you've done to your wife and kids

00:05:03.340 | it gaps it so I've done Ibogaine four times I have never had a singular military experience ever

00:05:09.520 | nothing

00:05:10.420 | childhood

00:05:11.360 | childhood

00:05:12.120 | and then in in the actual medicine it would allow me to relive past events with my father with

00:05:19.960 | with my mother hard conversations you know blow-ups arguments scream things you had forgotten things I'd forgotten things that were never on my conscious

00:05:27.800 | mind and now I'm reliving them and then it would shift and it would be me doing that exact same thing to my wife

00:05:34.680 | to my kids and then it'll put you in their position so when I'm screaming I'm projecting just this hate and this venomous shooting out of me

00:05:43.700 | I can be that seven-year-old little girl and I can feel how frightened she is by what she's watching her father turn into

00:05:50.600 | so real empathy

00:05:51.900 | that is what it is you become so empathetic to everyone and everything

00:05:56.480 | and it's the forefront of your mind like I don't want to go home because now I know what I've done

00:06:02.340 | I can't mask it anymore there's no more compartmentalization I've done I've done all those things I've said that terrible stuff

00:06:09.040 | and I'm never going to be able to re-earn my seat at the table and it's one of those weird

00:06:13.400 | predicaments where I want to go home but I don't because I don't want to

00:06:17.140 | face that I actually did and said that

00:06:19.760 | it's like out of every good thing I've ever done it all got erased on that moment

00:06:23.720 | the only thing we're going to focus on is all the bad stuff you've ever done and said

00:06:27.380 | so when we came into 5MEO

00:06:29.360 | I did six rounds of 5MEO my first time down there

00:06:32.920 | every single one is the most painful thing you've ever been a part of

00:06:37.380 | it feels

00:06:39.000 | and Trevor says it beautifully down at AMBO

00:06:41.220 | he said

00:06:41.660 | whatever's going to happen

00:06:43.320 | let it happen

00:06:43.860 | if you think you're going to explode

00:06:45.400 | explode

00:06:46.000 | if you think you're going to die

00:06:47.200 | die

00:06:47.720 | if you think you're going to drown or blast off in the stratosphere

00:06:51.060 | do it

00:06:51.600 | don't try to control it

00:06:53.060 | that medicine will take you exactly where you need to go

00:06:55.360 | you just have to let it

00:06:56.240 | and every time I would I would start

00:06:58.860 | I would scream and then I would cry

00:07:01.380 | and convulse

00:07:02.360 | throw up

00:07:03.480 | and I'd wake up and I'd look around

00:07:06.040 | and he'd look at me again

00:07:06.960 | hit him again

00:07:09.200 | and I'd do it again

00:07:10.880 | and I'd do it again

00:07:11.980 | and it was the very last time I did 5MEO

00:07:14.720 | you gotta understand

00:07:16.020 | I was super depressed

00:07:16.900 | and I was most certainly suicidal

00:07:19.020 | I did not want to come home and face reality

00:07:20.920 | and I took that last one

00:07:23.440 | and right before I did

00:07:24.460 | I can't remember if it was the nurse

00:07:26.860 | or

00:07:27.260 | because we used to have team guys

00:07:28.340 | who would sit there and hold space for you

00:07:29.720 | not taking the medicine

00:07:30.660 | just

00:07:31.160 | they were there to basically safeguard the house

00:07:33.560 | so you could just focus on you

00:07:34.960 | because it's hard to be put under

00:07:36.940 | essentially anesthesia in a foreign country

00:07:39.180 | and you don't know what's going to happen to you

00:07:40.360 | so just comfort in knowing there's team guys around you

00:07:43.040 | and he was either the nurse

00:07:45.060 | or

00:07:45.620 | one of the team guys goes

00:07:47.020 | you want to kill yourself right

00:07:48.720 | I said yeah

00:07:49.700 | and he goes

00:07:50.200 | then do it

00:07:50.900 | do it with this right here

00:07:52.380 | and I changed my intention for the medicine

00:07:54.280 | and I told myself

00:07:55.820 | it was this pink toxin

00:07:57.280 | this purple toxin

00:07:58.560 | I'm going to inhale it

00:07:59.600 | I'm going to coat my entire body with this

00:08:01.400 | I'm going to kill myself right here

00:08:02.660 | so I don't have to go home

00:08:03.800 | and that changed the entire experience for me

00:08:06.700 | everything shrunk down jet black

00:08:09.920 | and a single white pixel showed up

00:08:11.920 | and it exploded

00:08:13.060 | and it looked like it was Star Trek taking off

00:08:15.140 | all the tracers and everything

00:08:16.980 | it felt like your sternum broke open

00:08:19.320 | and your soul left your body

00:08:20.600 | and it was the true ego death

00:08:22.140 | and it went from screaming

00:08:24.280 | thrashing

00:08:25.100 | to complete bliss

00:08:27.280 | and love

00:08:29.020 | and affection

00:08:29.680 | and empathy

00:08:30.480 | and compassion

00:08:31.320 | and everything

00:08:32.080 | and I woke up

00:08:33.600 | and I looked at him

00:08:34.100 | and I could not believe

00:08:35.140 | the way I instantly

00:08:36.120 | I mean

00:08:36.520 | the most sober you've ever been

00:08:37.840 | you're not on any medication

00:08:38.980 | not cannabis

00:08:40.080 | not

00:08:40.560 | not an Adderall

00:08:42.100 | nothing

00:08:42.440 | you can't be on any medication

00:08:43.660 | when you go down there

00:08:44.340 | so this is true sobriety

00:08:45.860 | at its finest

00:08:46.680 | and when you wake up

00:08:47.620 | it's exactly like the electrocution

00:08:49.600 | everything is more vibrant

00:08:51.680 | the table edges are

00:08:53.100 | slick and clean

00:08:54.580 | like I can feel the taste

00:08:55.660 | and the texture

00:08:56.280 | and I can feel the energy

00:08:57.300 | coming out of everybody

00:08:58.300 | and it's like

00:08:59.820 | I can tell her

00:09:00.880 | I can go home

00:09:02.160 | and I can confess

00:09:02.800 | everything right now

00:09:03.940 | because I understand

00:09:05.520 | that I have done more

00:09:06.640 | good than bad

00:09:07.460 | and she's gonna see it

00:09:09.120 | she just has to see

00:09:10.140 | the new me

00:09:10.680 | and we went home

00:09:12.160 | and you know

00:09:13.180 | everything kind of unfolded

00:09:14.800 | and all my past

00:09:16.480 | indiscretions came to life

00:09:17.640 | and it was

00:09:19.640 | it was the darkest moment

00:09:21.140 | for me

00:09:21.440 | because I didn't think

00:09:22.280 | she was gonna take me back

00:09:23.260 | and she ends up

00:09:24.540 | pulling my sunglasses off

00:09:25.860 | she pulls them off

00:09:26.800 | and looks at me

00:09:27.320 | and essentially

00:09:27.820 | collapsed in my arms

00:09:28.800 | like I was back

00:09:30.180 | I'd been gone for 15 years

00:09:31.640 | and now I'm home

00:09:32.340 | and the greatest thing

00:09:34.620 | that's ever happened to me

00:09:35.420 | and if I wouldn't

00:09:36.140 | have gone down to Mexico

00:09:36.940 | there was no talk therapy

00:09:38.260 | there was no meditation

00:09:39.400 | there was no cold plunge

00:09:40.480 | it was gonna get me there

00:09:41.340 | it was something stronger than me

00:09:43.400 | and when you look back

00:09:45.120 | I'd been building

00:09:46.220 | that physical vessel

00:09:47.420 | this mental resilient vessel

00:09:49.840 | this entire time

00:09:50.920 | so nothing could break me

00:09:52.300 | and I needed something stronger

00:09:54.080 | than that to break me

00:09:55.040 | and the moment it did

00:09:56.260 | my whole life changed

00:09:57.420 | everything changed

00:09:58.240 | and I really became

00:10:00.740 | an advocate for the medicine

00:10:01.600 | because I'd been there

00:10:02.560 | I'd been sitting in my guest room

00:10:03.740 | with that pistol in my lap

00:10:04.920 | staring around the ceiling

00:10:06.820 | wondering

00:10:07.320 | where my brain matter

00:10:09.240 | is gonna go

00:10:09.660 | and what my wife's gonna see

00:10:10.780 | and how she's gonna have to

00:10:11.560 | clean it up

00:10:12.100 | and resell the house

00:10:13.100 | and just all the things

00:10:14.820 | I mean that's where you're at

00:10:15.840 | and that's where a lot of guys are

00:10:17.120 | and they don't believe

00:10:17.920 | they can get a breath of fresh air

00:10:19.160 | and that medicine

00:10:20.200 | will give it to you

00:10:20.760 | it is not a cure-all

00:10:21.960 | I mean you have to go back

00:10:22.880 | and restructure your entire life

00:10:24.920 | and cut out the toxicity

00:10:25.940 | and that was one of the most powerful things we did

00:10:28.940 | is I came back from that medicine

00:10:30.160 | I sit down the edge of that bed with my wife

00:10:32.640 | after we had gone through everything I had done

00:10:35.000 | and I went through my phone

00:10:36.520 | and we blocked and deleted

00:10:37.840 | about 150 people out of my life

00:10:39.700 | best thing I ever did

00:10:41.800 | like you're never coming back in here

00:10:44.140 | I've been trying to foster

00:10:45.780 | and save that relationship

00:10:47.300 | the better part of a decade

00:10:48.340 | I'm not doing it anymore

00:10:50.820 | you're robbing bandwidth

00:10:52.640 | and you're robbing

00:10:53.260 | the little time I have left on this planet

00:10:55.080 | that I'm gonna try to devote to my family

00:10:56.680 | because I have to re-earn this seat at the table

00:10:58.820 | every single day

00:11:00.080 | and it gave me the ability to do that

00:11:02.400 | and I came home

00:11:04.840 | started preaching about the medicine

00:11:06.000 | and then as I started to tell guys

00:11:08.200 | you'd see guys that were interested

00:11:09.900 | and they were like

00:11:10.380 | well if it worked for him

00:11:11.960 | because I'm a true believer

00:11:13.600 | I'm devout

00:11:14.400 | and they're like

00:11:15.460 | if it worked for him

00:11:16.820 | it'll work for me

00:11:17.340 | but they're scared to go

00:11:18.280 | so I was probably home

00:11:20.200 | maybe a month or two

00:11:21.080 | I went right back down

00:11:22.300 | and I essentially hosted one

00:11:23.980 | I'm cooking breakfast for the boys

00:11:25.960 | I'm cleaning snot off of them

00:11:27.520 | I'm doing the whole thing

00:11:28.460 | just trying to push them

00:11:29.940 | and slowly but surely

00:11:31.120 | you start saving guys

00:11:32.020 | 10 guys at a time

00:11:32.880 | over and over

00:11:34.380 | and you know

00:11:35.520 | that's really all because of Marcus and Amber

00:11:37.100 | if they would not have made

00:11:38.360 | that little infomercial

00:11:39.460 | airing out all their dirty laundry

00:11:41.560 | and how open and transparent he was

00:11:44.240 | like that is not the Navy SEAL way

00:11:45.760 | that is not how you're supposed to do it

00:11:47.420 | and when he did it

00:11:48.220 | it was so empowering to me

00:11:49.900 | I mean I looked up to him

00:11:50.800 | I mean he was on his second deployment

00:11:52.820 | when I came in

00:11:53.600 | and you know

00:11:54.580 | Marcus is larger than life to me

00:11:56.000 | so when you see that openness

00:11:57.700 | that transparency

00:11:58.640 | I can do that

00:12:00.320 | I can do that too

00:12:01.720 | and if I do that

00:12:03.280 | some kid going through

00:12:04.520 | the exact same thing as me

00:12:05.620 | that's stuck on that island alone

00:12:06.960 | will see me and go

00:12:07.820 | if he can do it

00:12:08.420 | I can do it

00:12:08.900 | you gotta want to change

00:12:10.400 | and you have to put steps

00:12:11.860 | in place to where you can

00:12:13.740 | live at a full value

00:12:15.120 | the morning routine

00:12:16.600 | I don't break it

00:12:17.720 | because I know what happens

00:12:18.600 | if I don't have it

00:12:19.340 | the worst I've ever been

00:12:20.700 | I wasn't living that morning routine

00:12:22.340 | I was still working out

00:12:24.040 | but it was chaotic at best

00:12:25.480 | right

00:12:26.040 | like my range wasn't there

00:12:27.920 | my combatives wasn't there

00:12:29.080 | I slowly let it drift away

00:12:30.880 | to where I was a shell of myself

00:12:32.500 | and once I got that breath

00:12:34.160 | of fresh air

00:12:34.660 | I am never going back

00:12:36.000 | I mean I just came back

00:12:37.380 | on Saturday

00:12:38.380 | I went back down again

00:12:39.640 | took down a bunch of veterans

00:12:41.220 | a bunch of civilians

00:12:42.040 | that were down there

00:12:42.660 | and it's so interesting to see

00:12:45.100 | because you have

00:12:45.760 | fighter pilots

00:12:46.880 | that are down there

00:12:47.440 | you have normal housewives

00:12:49.840 | that have drinking problems

00:12:51.120 | toxic marriage

00:12:51.940 | sexual abuse

00:12:52.860 | all this different stuff

00:12:53.820 | and everybody's ended up

00:12:54.780 | the exact same spot

00:12:55.780 | we've tried everything

00:12:57.300 | we tried the drugs

00:12:58.840 | we tried the talk therapy

00:12:59.900 | the cold plunges

00:13:00.960 | the saunas

00:13:01.620 | all that

00:13:02.120 | and it's helping

00:13:03.400 | but it's not getting us

00:13:05.040 | over the goal line

00:13:05.720 | and when those people

00:13:06.880 | wake up the very next day

00:13:08.060 | they are at total rock bottom

00:13:10.480 | and when they come out

00:13:11.800 | of that 5 MEO DMT

00:13:13.000 | their feet don't hit the ground

00:13:14.920 | for months

00:13:15.540 | you are on cloud nine

00:13:17.060 | and you cannot believe

00:13:18.120 | how good you feel

00:13:18.940 | I just want the world

00:13:21.160 | to be able to experience that

00:13:22.140 | it doesn't matter

00:13:22.640 | what trauma you have going on

00:13:23.820 | it's not a Navy SEAL medicine

00:13:25.260 | or a medicine

00:13:25.900 | for special operations

00:13:26.800 | this is a medicine

00:13:27.480 | to save humanity

00:13:28.360 | and if you were at the bottom

00:13:29.820 | of the barrel right now

00:13:30.720 | they'll save you

00:13:32.060 | I mean I went on

00:13:33.460 | 60 pills a day

00:13:34.400 | I'm not on anything

00:13:35.820 | not a single pain med

00:13:37.060 | I mean I've got more screws

00:13:38.100 | than me than Home Depot

00:13:38.840 | and I feel like a million bucks

00:13:41.640 | but

00:13:41.840 | you know for me

00:13:43.860 | my family deserved it

00:13:44.800 | and if I have to go down there

00:13:45.820 | and go through all that trauma

00:13:47.780 | over a 5 day period

00:13:48.780 | to give them a better version

00:13:50.180 | of myself

00:13:50.620 | I'll do it every single time

00:13:51.920 | that juice is so worth

00:13:53.440 | the squeeze

00:13:53.880 | I'll do it every single time

00:13:56.140 | and I'll do it every single time

00:13:57.300 | and I'll do it every single time

00:13:58.060 | and I'll do it every single time

00:13:58.760 | and I'll do it every single time

00:13:59.060 | and I'll do it every single time

00:13:59.880 | and I'll do it every single time

00:14:00.420 | and I'll do it every single time

00:14:01.020 | and I'll do it every single time

Treating Depression & PTSD with Ibogaine & DMT | DJ Shipley & Dr. Andrew Huberman

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