How to Practice Negotiating & Making Deals | Chris Voss & Dr. Andrew Huberman

00:00:00.000 | What are some of the things that good negotiators do all the time so that when the bell goes

00:00:09.520 | off and they have to respond, they are ready?

00:00:13.600 | And the reason I ask this is because we've been talking about negotiations in kind of

00:00:18.800 | a vacuum, like it's happening and then how does one handle it?

00:00:22.520 | But like any athlete, like any teacher, like any parent, like any kid, everybody has to

00:00:29.480 | be ready for real life circumstances and we don't always get the warning.

00:00:33.860 | We don't get the memo that it's happening in two weeks.

00:00:37.120 | And sometimes the conversations around courtroom drama or the big day, you know, it implies

00:00:42.760 | that we get the warning, but more often than not, it's a phone call or a text and it comes

00:00:46.560 | in and boom, it just hits us.

00:00:48.640 | And suddenly we are in negotiations and we didn't get time to prepare.

00:00:53.180 | So maybe we could talk about readiness and then we could talk about, again, like maybe

00:00:58.840 | this sounds trivial to you, but for me, I'd be very curious to know whether or not you

00:01:02.660 | have any practices of stilling yourself, what those look like, what you've seen other people

00:01:08.680 | use to be able to get themselves into the moment of being able to show up their best

00:01:13.560 | self.

00:01:14.560 | Yeah.

00:01:15.560 | Well, readiness, small stakes practice for high stakes results.

00:01:22.800 | Like I will occasionally find myself in the middle of a negotiation that I didn't expect.

00:01:28.080 | If I've been throwing out stuff on a regular basis on my way during the day, verbal observations,

00:01:35.360 | what we refer to as labels, because the label seems like something just crossed your mind.

00:01:41.200 | Is a label in the middle of a negotiation when I see you hesitate or look to the side?

00:01:46.800 | How do I get ready for that?

00:01:48.480 | You know, I'm on my way over here to this interview.

00:01:51.800 | I'm both talking to my Lyft driver the whole way, getting him to talk, also being careful

00:01:57.000 | about not tapping the gas tank out completely so that I'm fatigued when I get here.

00:02:04.340 | Like I talk up to Lyft drivers on a regular basis, interactions, TSA guys in the airport,

00:02:12.840 | I'll throw a label at them.

00:02:14.600 | Seems like a tough day.

00:02:15.600 | Tough day?

00:02:17.020 | Seems like you're in a good mood.

00:02:19.800 | And whether right or wrong, I'm getting in, I'm trying to stay loose.

00:02:23.040 | I'm trying to keep the mental muscles limber.

00:02:27.840 | And it just becomes a bit of a habit on a regular basis.

00:02:31.560 | Occasionally, I'll throw something out.

00:02:33.920 | Now I'm talking about Lyft drivers, if I'm in a bad mood, I get into a Lyft a couple

00:02:39.920 | of weeks ago on my way home, Lyft driver is not helpful.

00:02:44.280 | I mean, I'm coming out of the airport, I'm struggling with my bags, not lifting a finger,

00:02:48.280 | doesn't open up the rear, I got to open up the rear of the vehicle myself, I got to load

00:02:52.080 | the bags, everything, I get in and he's just seething unhappiness.

00:02:57.280 | Now I know that if I say, "What do you love about what you do for a living?"

00:03:02.280 | I immediately trigger what Tony Robbins would call a state change.

00:03:06.920 | And I'm annoyed at this guy.

00:03:09.240 | And our pheromones are combative, but I'm thinking like, "I just don't need this."

00:03:17.720 | And so I go, "What do you love about driving for Lyft?"

00:03:20.400 | This guy proceeds to unload on me on all his personal struggles that I feel like a complete

00:03:26.760 | jerk for being angry with him at everything that he's going through.

00:03:31.860 | And I'm just trying to get myself out of a bad mood and to keep from sending him a really

00:03:35.920 | negative vibe the whole way so that he doesn't drive 45 miles an hour in a 65 mile an hour

00:03:41.120 | lane and make it, you know, inflict me with a longer and more expensive ride because I'm

00:03:45.440 | so annoying as a customer.

00:03:47.880 | But I've got a habit of small stakes practice for high stakes results.

00:03:53.040 | And who do I get to practice on?

00:03:54.200 | The Lyft drivers on a regular basis, the guy behind the counter at the hotel, the TSA guy.

00:04:00.240 | I'm going through TSA, the grocery store clerk, the Starbucks person.

00:04:04.520 | The only way I'm at my best in my negotiations is just trying to keep my negotiation muscles

00:04:09.260 | limber by interacting with people throughout the course of my day.

00:04:14.680 | And then ideally, you know, leaving them better than I found them, you know, try and try not

00:04:19.980 | to leave negative karma in my wake, trying to leave as much positive karma in my wake

00:04:23.880 | as possible.

00:04:24.880 | I love that.

00:04:27.400 | And I'm very familiar with the feeling of needing to conserve my voice for podcasting

00:04:30.760 | or energy for things.

00:04:31.920 | And yet I'm somebody who's, I think, genuinely curious about what people's experiences are.

00:04:37.760 | So I like the question, you know, how's your day going?

00:04:42.520 | It's pretty open ended.

00:04:44.440 | It's-- I suppose if somebody was really upset, that would be perhaps the worst question I

00:04:48.680 | could possibly ask from what you just described.

00:04:52.480 | But-- Well, I'll put a fine point on it, too, because

00:04:55.160 | like I've manipulated them with what do you love about?

00:05:00.120 | Because there's-- you watch them change in the moment to immediately to shift into this

00:05:05.960 | concept of love, which is more than like, what do you like about driving for Lyft?

00:05:10.920 | What do you love about driving for Lyft?

00:05:12.520 | I can trigger a state change in you instantaneously, no matter what kind of mood you're in, because

00:05:17.800 | this guy was in a very bad mood.

00:05:19.960 | Plus, additionally, the download from that typically is so quick.

00:05:24.640 | I'm going to get a real clear picture on who you are really, really fast.

00:05:29.520 | I'm talking to a CEO of a company a couple of months ago.

00:05:33.440 | They're-- you know, for lack of a better term, they're delivering clean water to the world.

00:05:38.600 | And I'm like, that's a cool mission.

00:05:40.440 | Like I dig this.

00:05:41.960 | As an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur wanting to make a dent in the universe, I dig that.

00:05:47.880 | Like, I'm trying to make a difference in the world.

00:05:50.680 | So I say to him, what do you love about what you do for a living?

00:05:54.520 | He immediately fires back at me, I love leading teams.

00:05:57.240 | I love leading teams.

00:05:59.640 | And I love giving shareholders a great return on their investment.

00:06:02.840 | It's really important for me to give shareholders a great return.

00:06:05.960 | And then, yeah, you know, we deliver water.

00:06:08.000 | And then he said a fourth thing, and I thought, this guy could be doing toilet paper.

00:06:13.760 | He doesn't care about the mission of the company at all.

00:06:17.200 | He's a great CEO probably because you want a CEO to lead teams.

00:06:21.920 | You want a CEO to deliver-- a corporate CEO to deliver a return on investment for shareholders.

00:06:29.200 | But that's why he's a great corporate CEO and not a great entrepreneurial CEO.

00:06:35.080 | So by him giving me that download real quick, that was blatantly honest.

00:06:39.520 | Like, do I think this is a great guy?

00:06:42.480 | Yeah.

00:06:43.800 | Do our core values line up?

00:06:45.200 | My mission is more important to me than his mission is-- or his mission is making money.

00:06:50.600 | Now, I like making money, but it's not number one.

00:06:53.840 | It's a strong number two.

00:06:56.760 | But that question instead of how are you today to what do you love about, you immediately

00:07:04.280 | put them in a better place.

00:07:05.440 | Plus, you get some ridiculously candid answers that tells you who they are real fast.

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How to Practice Negotiating & Making Deals | Chris Voss & Dr. Andrew Huberman

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