What are some of the things that good negotiators do all the time so that when the bell goes off and they have to respond, they are ready? And the reason I ask this is because we've been talking about negotiations in kind of a vacuum, like it's happening and then how does one handle it?

But like any athlete, like any teacher, like any parent, like any kid, everybody has to be ready for real life circumstances and we don't always get the warning. We don't get the memo that it's happening in two weeks. And sometimes the conversations around courtroom drama or the big day, you know, it implies that we get the warning, but more often than not, it's a phone call or a text and it comes in and boom, it just hits us.

And suddenly we are in negotiations and we didn't get time to prepare. So maybe we could talk about readiness and then we could talk about, again, like maybe this sounds trivial to you, but for me, I'd be very curious to know whether or not you have any practices of stilling yourself, what those look like, what you've seen other people use to be able to get themselves into the moment of being able to show up their best self.

Yeah. Well, readiness, small stakes practice for high stakes results. Like I will occasionally find myself in the middle of a negotiation that I didn't expect. If I've been throwing out stuff on a regular basis on my way during the day, verbal observations, what we refer to as labels, because the label seems like something just crossed your mind.

Is a label in the middle of a negotiation when I see you hesitate or look to the side? How do I get ready for that? You know, I'm on my way over here to this interview. I'm both talking to my Lyft driver the whole way, getting him to talk, also being careful about not tapping the gas tank out completely so that I'm fatigued when I get here.

Like I talk up to Lyft drivers on a regular basis, interactions, TSA guys in the airport, I'll throw a label at them. Seems like a tough day. Tough day? Seems like you're in a good mood. And whether right or wrong, I'm getting in, I'm trying to stay loose. I'm trying to keep the mental muscles limber.

And it just becomes a bit of a habit on a regular basis. Occasionally, I'll throw something out. Now I'm talking about Lyft drivers, if I'm in a bad mood, I get into a Lyft a couple of weeks ago on my way home, Lyft driver is not helpful. I mean, I'm coming out of the airport, I'm struggling with my bags, not lifting a finger, doesn't open up the rear, I got to open up the rear of the vehicle myself, I got to load the bags, everything, I get in and he's just seething unhappiness.

Now I know that if I say, "What do you love about what you do for a living?" I immediately trigger what Tony Robbins would call a state change. And I'm annoyed at this guy. And our pheromones are combative, but I'm thinking like, "I just don't need this." And so I go, "What do you love about driving for Lyft?" This guy proceeds to unload on me on all his personal struggles that I feel like a complete jerk for being angry with him at everything that he's going through.

And I'm just trying to get myself out of a bad mood and to keep from sending him a really negative vibe the whole way so that he doesn't drive 45 miles an hour in a 65 mile an hour lane and make it, you know, inflict me with a longer and more expensive ride because I'm so annoying as a customer.

But I've got a habit of small stakes practice for high stakes results. And who do I get to practice on? The Lyft drivers on a regular basis, the guy behind the counter at the hotel, the TSA guy. I'm going through TSA, the grocery store clerk, the Starbucks person. The only way I'm at my best in my negotiations is just trying to keep my negotiation muscles limber by interacting with people throughout the course of my day.

And then ideally, you know, leaving them better than I found them, you know, try and try not to leave negative karma in my wake, trying to leave as much positive karma in my wake as possible. I love that. And I'm very familiar with the feeling of needing to conserve my voice for podcasting or energy for things.

And yet I'm somebody who's, I think, genuinely curious about what people's experiences are. So I like the question, you know, how's your day going? It's pretty open ended. It's-- I suppose if somebody was really upset, that would be perhaps the worst question I could possibly ask from what you just described.

But-- Well, I'll put a fine point on it, too, because like I've manipulated them with what do you love about? Because there's-- you watch them change in the moment to immediately to shift into this concept of love, which is more than like, what do you like about driving for Lyft?

What do you love about driving for Lyft? I can trigger a state change in you instantaneously, no matter what kind of mood you're in, because this guy was in a very bad mood. Plus, additionally, the download from that typically is so quick. I'm going to get a real clear picture on who you are really, really fast.

I'm talking to a CEO of a company a couple of months ago. They're-- you know, for lack of a better term, they're delivering clean water to the world. And I'm like, that's a cool mission. Like I dig this. As an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur wanting to make a dent in the universe, I dig that.

Like, I'm trying to make a difference in the world. So I say to him, what do you love about what you do for a living? He immediately fires back at me, I love leading teams. I love leading teams. And I love giving shareholders a great return on their investment.

It's really important for me to give shareholders a great return. And then, yeah, you know, we deliver water. And then he said a fourth thing, and I thought, this guy could be doing toilet paper. He doesn't care about the mission of the company at all. He's a great CEO probably because you want a CEO to lead teams.

You want a CEO to deliver-- a corporate CEO to deliver a return on investment for shareholders. But that's why he's a great corporate CEO and not a great entrepreneurial CEO. So by him giving me that download real quick, that was blatantly honest. Like, do I think this is a great guy?

Yeah. Do our core values line up? My mission is more important to me than his mission is-- or his mission is making money. Now, I like making money, but it's not number one. It's a strong number two. But that question instead of how are you today to what do you love about, you immediately put them in a better place.

Plus, you get some ridiculously candid answers that tells you who they are real fast. (upbeat music)