Vision for Your Family Vacation
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - Last time in episode 347,
00:00:07.500 | we talked about a theology of vacations.
00:00:10.280 | And speaking of family vacations,
00:00:11.820 | how can a dad lead his family well on vacation, Pastor John?
00:00:15.740 | Obviously, his leadership is never put on pause.
00:00:18.180 | There's something of labor for him in leading on vacations.
00:00:21.640 | So what is a dad's aim each day?
00:00:24.180 | What are the things for a dad to keep in mind
00:00:26.100 | to lead his family well?
00:00:29.340 | - Maybe the way I should respond
00:00:32.460 | is to say some of the things we did
00:00:37.100 | when our kids were little,
00:00:38.980 | rather than giving more biblical foundations
00:00:42.140 | for dad's responsibility.
00:00:43.460 | So yes, I'm assuming dad's leadership of the family
00:00:47.460 | and that it's never put on pause.
00:00:49.360 | But we gotta be careful here
00:00:50.780 | because even when I say it's not put on pause,
00:00:56.420 | I don't mean that he takes responsibility
00:00:59.740 | for all the decisions.
00:01:01.260 | That is, he doesn't make all the decisions.
00:01:03.620 | Good leadership never means that,
00:01:06.100 | never means you make all the decisions.
00:01:08.260 | Not in business, not in church, not in politics,
00:01:10.460 | not in family, leadership is initiative and planning.
00:01:14.620 | And inside that big picture,
00:01:16.340 | there are all kinds of delegation
00:01:18.000 | and sharings of decision-making.
00:01:20.940 | And a godly wife, I think,
00:01:23.540 | wants leadership, not micromanagement.
00:01:26.140 | She wants him to get off his duff and plan something
00:01:31.220 | rather than having to be drug here and there,
00:01:34.900 | always playing catch up with his wife.
00:01:38.420 | That wears her out.
00:01:40.020 | But she's happy to bear significant
00:01:43.020 | decision-making responsibility inside that big picture
00:01:46.640 | as she and her husband work all that out in detail.
00:01:50.620 | So when I say his leadership never goes on pause,
00:01:54.620 | I don't mean he's in charge at every minute.
00:01:58.660 | So here's some examples from the Piper family history.
00:02:02.340 | We had one son, three years later we had two sons,
00:02:07.220 | three years later we had three sons,
00:02:09.380 | and three years later we had four sons.
00:02:11.180 | Pretty good planning for college, right?
00:02:12.980 | So there were about eight years
00:02:16.580 | when we had four boys at home,
00:02:18.860 | and they can do the math to see how many we had
00:02:21.700 | for three and two and one.
00:02:24.060 | And we took vacations all of those summers
00:02:27.580 | with that many kids.
00:02:29.660 | And we never had a lot of money,
00:02:31.180 | so we never did big expensive vacations
00:02:33.540 | where we all get on a plane and go somewhere.
00:02:35.620 | I don't think, I can't ever remember us all
00:02:37.140 | getting on a plane and going somewhere.
00:02:39.200 | We borrowed cabins and we visited grandparents
00:02:44.200 | and we went with outings and so on.
00:02:46.500 | But so it was pretty simple.
00:02:48.800 | I don't think we're outclassing most people here.
00:02:52.180 | What Noel wanted from me was that I would take
00:02:57.420 | the initiative to get things planned.
00:03:00.420 | Of course, she wanted to be in on the planning,
00:03:04.540 | but she didn't want to have to start it all,
00:03:07.760 | keep it all going, work it all out.
00:03:09.880 | She wanted me to say, she didn't want to have to come
00:03:12.380 | on May 31st and say,
00:03:13.820 | do you know our vacation starts tomorrow?
00:03:17.460 | Oh yeah, no, I did, I forgot.
00:03:19.360 | She did, that's terrible for a husband to act like that.
00:03:23.480 | He should be thinking ahead and planning.
00:03:27.740 | So I would start a conversation with her
00:03:29.800 | in the early spring and we'd work it out together.
00:03:33.560 | She also wanted time on vacation
00:03:38.200 | when she would have some free time from the kids
00:03:41.640 | and from cooking.
00:03:42.760 | Otherwise it's not a vacation.
00:03:44.800 | I mean, sometimes guys think it's a vacation
00:03:46.620 | if you leave home.
00:03:47.460 | Well, no, not if you're a woman.
00:03:49.160 | I mean, and you care about, you know,
00:03:50.600 | caring for the kids and you got to cook.
00:03:52.320 | And if she has to do all the same stuff on vacation
00:03:54.200 | she did at home, it's no vacation for her.
00:03:57.600 | And she knew that I wanted some time free also by myself.
00:04:02.560 | So very typically it worked like this.
00:04:06.060 | We'd go to some cabin or grandma's house or something.
00:04:10.800 | And in the morning until lunch,
00:04:13.760 | I was free to do whatever I wanted.
00:04:16.080 | And Noel had the kids.
00:04:17.620 | So that's like four or five hours
00:04:19.420 | depending on when I got up, which usually meant I read.
00:04:23.420 | Hold myself up somewhere and read, took notes, wrote things.
00:04:28.640 | Then we ate lunch together and something really simple
00:04:32.560 | that either I could fix or get
00:04:34.500 | or didn't require any great preparations
00:04:36.980 | and super simple sandwich or something, fruit.
00:04:39.580 | And I took the boys all afternoon till supper time.
00:04:43.100 | So four or five hours for her.
00:04:45.180 | And then she could go off and do her crafts.
00:04:47.420 | She could go to town.
00:04:48.260 | She could do whatever she wanted.
00:04:49.720 | And she didn't have any responsibilities at all.
00:04:53.140 | And the guys and I, we'd play, we'd go to the lake.
00:04:56.200 | We'd ride bikes.
00:04:57.900 | I just thought of all kinds of different things
00:04:59.560 | that they could all do.
00:05:00.800 | And of course it's a challenge.
00:05:01.800 | They're all at different ages.
00:05:02.880 | And so you have to be creative and figure that out
00:05:05.280 | and put a little baby over on the side,
00:05:07.780 | hopefully enjoying the wiffle ball game a little bit.
00:05:12.780 | Then we ate together in the evening
00:05:15.380 | when we were all together doing something
00:05:17.580 | that everyone could more or less do depending on the ages.
00:05:21.620 | And then we read our Bibles, had a Bible story,
00:05:25.160 | maybe watch a little video of something
00:05:27.260 | that would be devotional.
00:05:29.140 | And then the guys would go to bed about 7.30 or 8.
00:05:32.980 | And I mean, of course as the teenagers got older,
00:05:35.620 | they didn't have schedules like that,
00:05:37.180 | but this is when they were younger.
00:05:39.180 | And Noelle and I had a couple hours just for us.
00:05:42.340 | So that's the way my leadership worked it out on vacation,
00:05:45.900 | which gave everybody some pause time,
00:05:50.100 | everybody some down time.
00:05:51.420 | And maybe I should say just one other thing,
00:05:53.740 | and I could have done better here.
00:05:55.540 | I think part of leadership on vacation
00:05:58.200 | should be some surprises.
00:05:59.700 | If dad doesn't plan, it probably won't happen.
00:06:05.380 | Something that they're not expecting
00:06:08.020 | and that he's planned and they'll remember.
00:06:11.300 | It doesn't have to be many and doesn't have to be expensive,
00:06:13.420 | but something that's just not his dragging his feet,
00:06:16.300 | but he's planned.
00:06:17.700 | So yes, leadership never goes on pause,
00:06:20.540 | but shared with his wife and everybody feels
00:06:25.540 | like they've had the kind of time
00:06:27.780 | that makes for real refreshment.
00:06:29.680 | - Thank you, Pastor John.
00:06:32.140 | And family vacations can be spiritually refreshing
00:06:34.760 | just as they are physically refreshing.
00:06:37.060 | And interestingly enough, you Pastor John,
00:06:38.940 | were actually saved on a family vacation
00:06:41.020 | as a six year old.
00:06:42.460 | If you wanna hear that story,
00:06:43.300 | listen to Ask Pastor John episode number 158,
00:06:45.500 | John Piper's testimony, episode 158.
00:06:48.900 | Monday is Memorial Day,
00:06:50.220 | but we will be back to talk about adoption
00:06:52.900 | and especially one story
00:06:54.300 | of a wonderfully successful adoption
00:06:56.220 | that Pastor John has watched up close and personal,
00:06:59.020 | very close and personal.
00:07:00.740 | Until then, I'm your host, Tony Reineke.
00:07:02.180 | Have a wonderful, extended and restful weekend.
00:07:05.120 | We'll see you on Monday.
00:07:06.280 | (upbeat music)
00:07:08.860 | (upbeat music)
00:07:11.440 | [BLANK_AUDIO]