A New Way to Think About Estate Planning
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - We talked about our personal finances
00:00:07.120 | as people listening, thinking about it,
00:00:08.700 | but another important thing is thinking about other's finances
00:00:12.500 | and especially, you know, the legacy you leave,
00:00:14.440 | the legacy your family leaves.
00:00:16.540 | You know, you intentionally don't use estate planning
00:00:19.020 | as much as financial legacy documents.
00:00:20.880 | So I'd love to hear that story
00:00:22.840 | 'cause I think it makes it a little easier.
00:00:25.020 | But how do you think people should approach that?
00:00:27.520 | And as well as the conversation with their loved ones
00:00:30.640 | who maybe aren't thinking about it.
00:00:32.940 | - I think when we talk about estate planning,
00:00:34.640 | it's this big, scary idea,
00:00:36.760 | and it's really easy to put that off
00:00:38.680 | or not pay attention to it because it seems so complicated.
00:00:42.560 | And again, let's not forget,
00:00:44.880 | when we're talking about estate planning,
00:00:45.920 | what we're really talking about is what's gonna happen
00:00:47.600 | when we or our loved one dies
00:00:49.480 | and no one likes to talk about that, right?
00:00:51.400 | 'Cause you start thinking about what's gonna happen
00:00:52.780 | when this important person is gone.
00:00:55.280 | I like to talk about our legacy documents instead
00:00:58.920 | because as opposed to thinking about when someone's gone
00:01:01.080 | and no longer with us,
00:01:02.460 | I like to approach it as this is the way
00:01:04.560 | you're going to stay positively in people's lives, right?
00:01:08.500 | By planning appropriately,
00:01:10.800 | by doing these financial legacy planning
00:01:13.180 | or the financial legacy documents
00:01:14.840 | or the medical legal legacy documents,
00:01:17.040 | this is so that your impact remains,
00:01:19.460 | that you still affect those people you love
00:01:21.440 | and that even God forbid,
00:01:22.820 | when you die or a family member dies,
00:01:25.040 | that that positive effect is still out there in the world
00:01:29.020 | for years and years later.
00:01:30.320 | So this is your mark on the world,
00:01:33.220 | but it's a difficult conversation to have.
00:01:34.820 | And I especially think for people in our age group,
00:01:36.900 | a lot of us are in that sandwich generation
00:01:38.800 | where we have young kids,
00:01:40.300 | but we also have parents who are getting older.
00:01:42.420 | And I'm dealing with this right now with my in-laws
00:01:45.660 | who are currently moving.
00:01:47.860 | It's really hard to talk to your parents
00:01:51.320 | about money issues and your money situation.
00:01:53.800 | So in the book, I talk about a few tactics
00:01:56.500 | that help you start these conversations
00:01:59.740 | in a way that's non-confrontational.
00:02:01.540 | So one of my favorite ways to start these conversations
00:02:04.520 | is you ask for advice, right?
00:02:07.060 | So people are very open to having us ask them for advice.
00:02:10.340 | So let's say you actually understand
00:02:12.580 | this legacy planning yourself,
00:02:15.540 | you actually have a good hold on it,
00:02:17.300 | but you want to start broaching it with your parents,
00:02:18.980 | the easiest way I say,
00:02:19.820 | look, I was thinking about doing a will and maybe a trust,
00:02:23.120 | mom and dad, what did you guys do?
00:02:25.520 | Like, what should I do with this?
00:02:27.120 | It's kind of foggy in my mind, I don't know what to do.
00:02:30.200 | It's a really great way of assessing where your parents are
00:02:33.240 | because then they're gonna feel like
00:02:35.200 | they're giving you advice, so they're gonna be open.
00:02:37.040 | They're not thinking you're like, mom, dad, when you die,
00:02:39.520 | what am I gonna get of yours?
00:02:40.680 | That's not what you're asking them.
00:02:41.560 | You're saying, I need to do this for my family,
00:02:44.720 | what should we do?
00:02:45.860 | It's a great way to broach the subject
00:02:47.520 | and get a feel for how much thinking they've done on this.
00:02:49.900 | You may find that they've done tons of thinking about it,
00:02:53.260 | they have their wills and their trust,
00:02:54.780 | and they can actually tell you and help you do it yourself.
00:02:58.020 | Or they might look at you and say,
00:03:00.340 | we've never thought about this before,
00:03:01.780 | and that's a perfect chance to say,
00:03:03.100 | well, I'm doing it, you wanna do this together?
00:03:06.140 | It's a great way to start the conversation.
00:03:08.060 | That's less than one way to do it.
00:03:10.320 | Another way I really like to broach the conversation is,
00:03:14.020 | being in hospice, I've seen some real tragedies.
00:03:17.660 | So it's easy for me to approach my parents and say,
00:03:21.020 | you know, I was taking care of this guy,
00:03:23.660 | and his mom was sick, and she had Alzheimer's.
00:03:26.860 | And the dad had taken over everything,
00:03:29.580 | the medical power of attorney,
00:03:30.860 | he had taken over the finances for the family,
00:03:33.220 | and my patient, he was really happy,
00:03:36.340 | his parents were managing all these things
00:03:37.980 | because his mom was getting sick
00:03:39.220 | and he just wanted to be with his mom.
00:03:41.000 | Then COVID came along, and all of a sudden,
00:03:42.940 | his dad got sick and was on a ventilator.
00:03:45.220 | And guess what?
00:03:47.220 | I didn't have the financial power of attorney,
00:03:49.080 | my patient couldn't pay for his mom's needs
00:03:51.540 | because his dad was on a ventilator,
00:03:53.700 | and he didn't have any rights
00:03:55.380 | to all the financial paperwork,
00:03:56.940 | to the checking account, to any of that.
00:03:59.700 | So I've experienced these things,
00:04:01.180 | and I could go to my parents and say,
00:04:02.340 | you know what, the funniest thing happened
00:04:03.780 | to one of my patients, tell that story,
00:04:06.020 | and say, gosh, I hope that kind of thing
00:04:08.600 | doesn't happen to us.
00:04:10.620 | And so by talking about how other people
00:04:12.780 | have had these bad experiences,
00:04:14.300 | it's a wonderful way to actually breach
00:04:16.140 | the conversation with your loved ones,
00:04:18.420 | and it's a real non-confrontational, easy way.
00:04:20.620 | So that's another way to do it.
00:04:21.840 | And the last way I really like to do it
00:04:23.400 | is to talk about it in terms of legacy.
00:04:26.060 | So instead of saying, when you die,
00:04:27.780 | who's gonna get what stuff of yours,
00:04:30.220 | to go to your parents and say,
00:04:32.100 | you know what, my kids are young,
00:04:35.820 | and I, as well as I want my kids
00:04:38.340 | to really remember you the way you are
00:04:41.420 | after you're gone.
00:04:43.020 | Let's talk about how you wanna be remembered.
00:04:45.500 | What do you want the kids to have of you?
00:04:47.980 | What do you want them to remember?
00:04:49.380 | What is your legacy?
00:04:51.440 | And a lot of times that leads to talking
00:04:53.140 | about things even like property,
00:04:54.500 | like mom and dad, every year we take all the grandkids
00:04:58.500 | and we go to that cabin that you guys own in Wisconsin.
00:05:01.900 | After you die, what should be done with that?
00:05:04.580 | Like, do you want us to still do that
00:05:06.960 | and think of you every year when we go do this?
00:05:08.980 | Do you want us to sell it?
00:05:10.060 | What would you want done with this thing?
00:05:12.340 | But by framing it in terms of their legacy,
00:05:15.160 | I think then you can open up the difficult conversation
00:05:21.100 | and make it about celebrating the people
00:05:24.460 | we're talking about.
00:05:25.500 | Because the idea behind this,
00:05:26.760 | and no one thinks of it this way,
00:05:27.900 | but really estate planning should be a celebration
00:05:30.900 | of people's lives, right?
00:05:32.700 | We should celebrate with their medical legacy planning,
00:05:35.660 | like living.