(upbeat music) - We talked about our personal finances as people listening, thinking about it, but another important thing is thinking about other's finances and especially, you know, the legacy you leave, the legacy your family leaves. You know, you intentionally don't use estate planning as much as financial legacy documents.

So I'd love to hear that story 'cause I think it makes it a little easier. But how do you think people should approach that? And as well as the conversation with their loved ones who maybe aren't thinking about it. - I think when we talk about estate planning, it's this big, scary idea, and it's really easy to put that off or not pay attention to it because it seems so complicated.

And again, let's not forget, when we're talking about estate planning, what we're really talking about is what's gonna happen when we or our loved one dies and no one likes to talk about that, right? 'Cause you start thinking about what's gonna happen when this important person is gone. I like to talk about our legacy documents instead because as opposed to thinking about when someone's gone and no longer with us, I like to approach it as this is the way you're going to stay positively in people's lives, right?

By planning appropriately, by doing these financial legacy planning or the financial legacy documents or the medical legal legacy documents, this is so that your impact remains, that you still affect those people you love and that even God forbid, when you die or a family member dies, that that positive effect is still out there in the world for years and years later.

So this is your mark on the world, but it's a difficult conversation to have. And I especially think for people in our age group, a lot of us are in that sandwich generation where we have young kids, but we also have parents who are getting older. And I'm dealing with this right now with my in-laws who are currently moving.

It's really hard to talk to your parents about money issues and your money situation. So in the book, I talk about a few tactics that help you start these conversations in a way that's non-confrontational. So one of my favorite ways to start these conversations is you ask for advice, right?

So people are very open to having us ask them for advice. So let's say you actually understand this legacy planning yourself, you actually have a good hold on it, but you want to start broaching it with your parents, the easiest way I say, look, I was thinking about doing a will and maybe a trust, mom and dad, what did you guys do?

Like, what should I do with this? It's kind of foggy in my mind, I don't know what to do. It's a really great way of assessing where your parents are because then they're gonna feel like they're giving you advice, so they're gonna be open. They're not thinking you're like, mom, dad, when you die, what am I gonna get of yours?

That's not what you're asking them. You're saying, I need to do this for my family, what should we do? It's a great way to broach the subject and get a feel for how much thinking they've done on this. You may find that they've done tons of thinking about it, they have their wills and their trust, and they can actually tell you and help you do it yourself.

Or they might look at you and say, we've never thought about this before, and that's a perfect chance to say, well, I'm doing it, you wanna do this together? It's a great way to start the conversation. That's less than one way to do it. Another way I really like to broach the conversation is, being in hospice, I've seen some real tragedies.

So it's easy for me to approach my parents and say, you know, I was taking care of this guy, and his mom was sick, and she had Alzheimer's. And the dad had taken over everything, the medical power of attorney, he had taken over the finances for the family, and my patient, he was really happy, his parents were managing all these things because his mom was getting sick and he just wanted to be with his mom.

Then COVID came along, and all of a sudden, his dad got sick and was on a ventilator. And guess what? I didn't have the financial power of attorney, my patient couldn't pay for his mom's needs because his dad was on a ventilator, and he didn't have any rights to all the financial paperwork, to the checking account, to any of that.

So I've experienced these things, and I could go to my parents and say, you know what, the funniest thing happened to one of my patients, tell that story, and say, gosh, I hope that kind of thing doesn't happen to us. And so by talking about how other people have had these bad experiences, it's a wonderful way to actually breach the conversation with your loved ones, and it's a real non-confrontational, easy way.

So that's another way to do it. And the last way I really like to do it is to talk about it in terms of legacy. So instead of saying, when you die, who's gonna get what stuff of yours, to go to your parents and say, you know what, my kids are young, and I, as well as I want my kids to really remember you the way you are after you're gone.

Let's talk about how you wanna be remembered. What do you want the kids to have of you? What do you want them to remember? What is your legacy? And a lot of times that leads to talking about things even like property, like mom and dad, every year we take all the grandkids and we go to that cabin that you guys own in Wisconsin.

After you die, what should be done with that? Like, do you want us to still do that and think of you every year when we go do this? Do you want us to sell it? What would you want done with this thing? But by framing it in terms of their legacy, I think then you can open up the difficult conversation and make it about celebrating the people we're talking about.

Because the idea behind this, and no one thinks of it this way, but really estate planning should be a celebration of people's lives, right? We should celebrate with their medical legacy planning, like living.