Living a Consistent and Disciplined Life ft. Ben Newman

00:00:00.000 | We are here with another episode of Curious Mike out here in San Diego with my guy Ben

00:00:13.300 | Newman.

00:00:14.300 | Appreciate you pulling up on me, my guy.

00:00:16.180 | Appreciate you, man.

00:00:17.180 | So, you know, obviously we've known each other for a while.

00:00:19.520 | I remember meeting you back in Mizzou while I was there for that year.

00:00:24.440 | But I play basketball and you obviously are in a different field.

00:00:26.780 | You work with some hoopers, but kind of tell us a little bit about what you do.

00:00:30.260 | Well for me, it's all the mental side, right?

00:00:32.620 | So in business and in sports, it's working with individuals on what it takes to embrace

00:00:37.180 | the mental side.

00:00:38.180 | And I know this is supposed to be about me, but you talk about the mental side.

00:00:41.980 | I'm just so proud of everything you've accomplished and how you've embraced the challenge and

00:00:45.420 | adversity.

00:00:46.420 | Yeah.

00:00:47.420 | That's really what I do every day.

00:00:48.420 | It's helping people embrace challenge and adversity to write their ultimate story.

00:00:51.940 | Right.

00:00:52.940 | And you've had some pretty awesome chapters that have come after adversity.

00:00:56.340 | And so that's what I work every day with, is just helping people embrace that to write

00:00:59.420 | those next chapters and ultimately their story.

00:01:01.380 | Yeah.

00:01:02.380 | It's unbelievable, man.

00:01:03.380 | I mean, coming through all that adversity.

00:01:05.700 | Do you have any stories from kind of when we met or any stories during our time in Mizzou

00:01:10.140 | of me that you like would remember?

00:01:12.380 | Because you were always around, but I didn't always, obviously you saw everything.

00:01:15.380 | Do you have any stories?

00:01:16.380 | Oh, yeah.

00:01:17.380 | So first one is, so I was a hooper back in the day, as you know, however, I can shoot

00:01:23.580 | a little bit.

00:01:24.580 | I was slow.

00:01:25.580 | So I had a couple D3 opportunities, but ended up going to Michigan State to watch them win

00:01:29.820 | a title.

00:01:30.820 | But being a shooter, I was always impressed with shooters.

00:01:33.900 | So one of the first things was I thought when I came to the first practice, my first day,

00:01:38.220 | you were at the top of the key and you hit 19 straight three pointers.

00:01:42.580 | And what went through my mind, it wasn't necessarily the 19.

00:01:45.700 | It was the number of shots that this young man must have taken in order to put yourself

00:01:51.760 | in position to hit 19 straight three pointers.

00:01:54.140 | Right.

00:01:55.140 | So I always look at work ethic, like what allows somebody to achieve what they achieve?

00:01:59.980 | And so number one was the work ethic.

00:02:01.980 | And then the second story, which is, you know, painful, but, you know, the pain is what leads

00:02:06.040 | us to our growth was I remember the first game.

00:02:09.660 | Yeah.

00:02:10.660 | I remember Iowa State.

00:02:11.660 | Right.

00:02:12.660 | I mean, everybody's excited.

00:02:13.700 | Everybody's energized.

00:02:14.700 | And I remember you came up to me in the locker room and you're like, bro, I don't I don't

00:02:18.340 | know if I can go.

00:02:19.340 | Yeah.

00:02:20.340 | And I mean, the emotion was in your face.

00:02:22.500 | Your back was killing you.

00:02:24.620 | And I just admired the fact that you put it on the line for the team that night.

00:02:28.620 | You made it about the team.

00:02:30.420 | Yeah.

00:02:31.420 | And you attempted to go out there knowing the pain that you were in and we know what

00:02:34.780 | happened afterwards.

00:02:35.780 | But then to come back into battle to, you know, when we were playing Tennessee in the

00:02:40.020 | NCAA tournament that year.

00:02:42.260 | Yeah.

00:02:43.260 | I think about that.

00:02:44.260 | And, you know, it's one of those things like you got heart, you got guts, you got fight

00:02:47.660 | in you.

00:02:48.660 | Yeah.

00:02:49.660 | That's why you're achieving what you're achieving.

00:02:50.660 | But those are the things that I remember.

00:02:51.660 | You know, it's the hard work, but then it's the mindset that you have.

00:02:54.960 | That's crazy, because I remember that vividly to that that game.

00:02:57.880 | And I remember coming up to you because I was like, huh, he's such a good speaker.

00:03:02.400 | What if he could just speak it into me?

00:03:04.220 | What if he could say something, make the pain go away?

00:03:06.320 | Because I knew like you were you had that.

00:03:09.160 | So.

00:03:10.160 | So, yeah, I remember that.

00:03:11.160 | And then.

00:03:12.160 | But now it was just too much.

00:03:13.160 | Like the few days leading up to that game, it was getting worse and worse.

00:03:17.300 | So by that time, it was it was it was impossible to play.

00:03:21.080 | But I mean, you were in my corner the entire time through the rehab process, you know,

00:03:25.560 | then going into the draft.

00:03:28.040 | And then, you know, our relationship kind of changed because I reached out to you one

00:03:31.760 | one day and I was like, man, I'm going through this.

00:03:34.440 | I forget what it was, but I was like, could you could you just send me messages daily?

00:03:40.440 | This was many years ago, bro.

00:03:42.360 | I was like, can you send me messages to encourage me daily?

00:03:45.160 | And ever since then, every single morning I wake up to a text from you.

00:03:49.440 | I don't think even as one morning saying something motivational, something for the day.

00:03:54.640 | And that's unbelievable, because I mentioned it one time.

00:03:57.120 | And I know a lot of people, they will like you talk about it all the time.

00:04:00.520 | They'll talk the talk or they'll say, yeah, I'll do this for you, whatever.

00:04:03.460 | But then they never follow through or they might feel like a week.

00:04:05.820 | It's been every single day.

00:04:07.560 | Like how did you get that consistency about you or just that routine?

00:04:12.680 | I mean, like those texts are coming in at two or three a.m..

00:04:15.280 | You know what I'm saying?

00:04:16.280 | Like, how did you my favorite text to the ones where you say things to me like, bro,

00:04:20.600 | what time did you go to bed last night, bro?

00:04:22.560 | What time did you wake up?

00:04:23.880 | It's unbelievable.

00:04:24.880 | Well, you know, it's one of those things I'm driven by embracing your everyday opportunity.

00:04:30.740 | And you know my story.

00:04:31.740 | I mean, I shared it with you guys the first time that I spoke at Mizzou and Konzo brought

00:04:35.080 | me in, which was such a blessing being able to, you know, work with you guys that year.

00:04:40.000 | And my mom passed away 11 days before my eighth birthday.

00:04:43.060 | My parents were divorced when I was six months old.

00:04:45.460 | So all I've ever known is challenge and adversity.

00:04:47.600 | I'm a 42 year old man.

00:04:49.480 | My mother passed away at 38 from a rare muscle disease.

00:04:52.440 | There's still no cure for.

00:04:54.020 | So every day past 38 has been a gift that God has given me.

00:04:59.000 | So if I have a blessing of having a relationship with somebody like you and you ask me to help

00:05:04.080 | you with something, I'm going to be there to help you.

00:05:06.200 | And that's all.

00:05:07.200 | That's all I know.

00:05:08.200 | And I think the world, unfortunately, there are too many people, as you just referenced,

00:05:12.240 | they like to talk, but the action tells the real story.

00:05:16.240 | And so our real relationship comes from, can you call me in a bind and I'm going to be

00:05:20.240 | there for you?

00:05:21.240 | Oh, well, Mike, I'll call you in a few days.

00:05:22.800 | I'm busy.

00:05:23.800 | No, no, I'm going to be there for you because that's the relationship that we have.

00:05:26.400 | And I think that's what life is all about.

00:05:28.600 | And I think there's too many people who talk rather than driving action and building relationships

00:05:32.920 | because that's what life's about.

00:05:34.440 | No doubt.

00:05:35.440 | And you do a great job of helping us.

00:05:36.680 | I mean, those Mizzou days, me now, I know you talked to a lot of teams still, but like

00:05:41.760 | you personally, as your own individual, how did you get to the point where you were making

00:05:46.140 | these life habits of, like, I remember not too long ago there was a fight.

00:05:50.920 | I think it ended at like 12 a.m.

00:05:52.640 | I still get my text from you at 3 a.m.

00:05:54.440 | Like, I'm like, bro, did you sleep?

00:05:56.840 | I just saw you on TV at the fight.

00:05:59.400 | How did you get that in you where you were just, that one in full disclosure, I'm going

00:06:04.920 | to tell the people I sent the text before I went to bed that night because I was still

00:06:10.680 | up.

00:06:11.680 | And I'm like, I was thinking to myself, I mean, am I going to wake up in an hour and

00:06:15.400 | send my messages?

00:06:16.400 | And I'm like, no, no, I'm sending them before I go to bed.

00:06:19.600 | So that was one night where I had to do that because I do have to get some sleep.

00:06:23.720 | But a lot of the discipline is it's wanting to maximize every single day, right?

00:06:28.380 | So for you, you have a choice, right?

00:06:30.400 | You have earned everything that you've had.

00:06:32.360 | You fought through all the adversity because you made a choice.

00:06:35.000 | Here's how I'm going to work.

00:06:36.000 | And oftentimes it's not the work that the nuggets ask you to do.

00:06:39.600 | It's the unrequired work.

00:06:40.840 | It's the extra work.

00:06:41.840 | You know, my guy, Messer, I mean, I remember speaking to his team at SIUE when he played

00:06:46.000 | back in the day years ago, they would bring me in to speak and you know, it's the work

00:06:50.000 | that you guys put in, in the gym.

00:06:51.640 | That's what gets it done.

00:06:52.680 | And so for me, it's the little things that I've been blessed to have coaches and mentors

00:06:57.580 | in my life who have helped me understand if you do the little things every day and you

00:07:01.000 | keep stacking those habits every day, day after day after day, from my nutrition to

00:07:05.200 | my health, to how I show up for my family and my kids, to how I work.

00:07:09.720 | If we just take it one day at a time and choose to win one day at a time, you will have success.

00:07:15.000 | And I think a lot of people, they get so caught up in, I want the result, give me the result

00:07:19.840 | right now.

00:07:20.840 | Oh, just give it to me right now.

00:07:22.680 | As opposed to, are you willing to do what it takes every day in order to achieve that

00:07:26.120 | result?

00:07:27.120 | And most people, they don't have that consistency.

00:07:30.240 | And I believe one more thing, we have to be the example.

00:07:34.240 | We have to be the example.

00:07:35.880 | You can't talk about it if you're not doing it.

00:07:38.560 | I mean, there would be a different level of respect, or maybe we wouldn't be sitting here

00:07:42.880 | if I didn't show up in my life and have discipline.

00:07:45.140 | Because how could you and I have a conversation about discipline if I was completely undisciplined?

00:07:49.880 | There would just be a different level of respect, and so I feel like you have to be an example

00:07:53.480 | of showing up and doing the things.

00:07:55.520 | How could I have a conversation with you about discipline if I'm undisciplined?

00:07:59.000 | Exactly.

00:08:00.000 | So man, I know a lot of people, they want to make these life habits, these new changes,

00:08:04.960 | but then you know everyone, we're human.

00:08:06.620 | So I don't know if you ever have off days, but when people have a bad day or they feel

00:08:13.080 | like they lost the day, how do you, when you're so driven by a standard and you're putting

00:08:19.540 | these streaks together, whatever it is, and you have a bad day, how do you kind of bounce

00:08:23.660 | back from that guilt and not let one bad day turn into, "Oh, I'm going to just give it

00:08:27.460 | all up"?

00:08:28.460 | Because a lot of people do that.

00:08:29.460 | They make these New Year's resolutions.

00:08:31.340 | They might do good for like a week, and then they fall off for a day, and now it's kind

00:08:35.100 | of hard to get back on the right path.

00:08:37.340 | What do you say to people like that?

00:08:39.100 | For me, it's about the shifting of perspective, right?

00:08:42.100 | As tough as it is on the ears, I go back to my mother coming to the dining room table

00:08:46.340 | with an IV stand while we had 24-hour nursing care in our house, her last year living, to

00:08:51.660 | ask my older brother Drew and I how our days were at school.

00:08:54.820 | So if my mother was able to do that, what's really a bad day for me?

00:08:58.700 | So I just shift the perspective.

00:08:59.860 | I call that the power to reframe, right?

00:09:01.660 | It's our ability to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and I think that's

00:09:06.100 | the opportunity.

00:09:07.100 | It doesn't mean I don't have bad days.

00:09:08.100 | I still have two coaches.

00:09:09.620 | I read books every day.

00:09:11.020 | I have mentors, so I'm high maintenance, right?

00:09:13.500 | I have issues.

00:09:14.500 | I have problems.

00:09:15.500 | I have struggles, but I have people there to help me.

00:09:17.900 | So number one, I think it's acknowledging it's okay to have challenge and adversity.

00:09:21.660 | I have it all the time, but I have those confidants and individuals that I reach out to who help

00:09:26.220 | me get through it.

00:09:27.220 | I think anytime we try to manage it alone, that's where we get in trouble.

00:09:30.460 | That's why I admire when you'll pick up the phone and call me, "Hey, let's talk through

00:09:33.340 | something."

00:09:34.340 | Right?

00:09:35.340 | If you try to do it by yourself, you take it on to the court.

00:09:36.900 | So my goal in a conversation like that is I want to provide peace of mind for you.

00:09:40.460 | Let's leave it off the court so you can step onto the court, have intentional focus, lock

00:09:44.140 | in, and play your game.

00:09:46.980 | I think, like you said, the ability to reframe is so much more easier said than done, but

00:09:52.140 | it really is a choice.

00:09:53.740 | I think a lot of people, especially in today's age, I don't know if it's the social media

00:09:57.980 | or what it is, but they have a hard time with anxiety, like choosing their thoughts.

00:10:03.420 | Is that kind of like a muscle, like you have to just do it over and over and then you get

00:10:06.820 | better at kind of choosing to think positive, or is it just getting off your phone?

00:10:12.300 | I think this is it for me.

00:10:13.300 | Kind of getting off my phone, going into quiet space, and just sitting, and then kind of

00:10:17.340 | changing perspectives.

00:10:18.340 | Because it's hard.

00:10:19.340 | Like you say it all the time.

00:10:20.340 | Eliminate distractions.

00:10:21.640 | Is that the only way you can really do it, you think?

00:10:23.700 | Yeah.

00:10:24.700 | I mean, you just said it.

00:10:25.700 | You've identified, "I have to put my phone away if I'm actually going to free my mind."

00:10:29.420 | Right.

00:10:30.420 | So most people know, "You should probably put your phone away."

00:10:32.340 | Yeah.

00:10:33.340 | Then what do most people do?

00:10:34.340 | They don't put their phone away.

00:10:35.340 | So you've identified, "Okay, here's the shift I have to make in my environment if I'm actually

00:10:38.740 | going to clear my mind."

00:10:40.340 | I think that's common for any ... We all know what we need to do, but do we actually choose

00:10:44.960 | to do the things we know we need to do to have a clear mind to perform, or to give ourself

00:10:48.820 | that peace, or to be able to push away?

00:10:51.060 | Isn't that funny, though?

00:10:52.620 | We always say, for a lot of people that struggle with social media use or whatever, "When I

00:10:57.460 | get off social media, I feel the best I've ever felt."

00:10:59.780 | But then we always end up going back to some of the destructive things in our life.

00:11:04.580 | I don't know where that comes from.

00:11:06.060 | I know there's a quote that says, "A lot of times we are more afraid of our true light

00:11:11.980 | and potential than we are of our darkness.

00:11:14.380 | We feel more comfortable in our old bad habits and the things we used to do."

00:11:19.580 | Which is kind of a crazy thought, you know what I mean?

00:11:21.940 | Some people are so ... It's actually hard for them to evolve and become their better

00:11:25.500 | self because it's just uncomfortable.

00:11:26.980 | You talk about that.

00:11:27.980 | People don't like being uncomfortable.

00:11:30.700 | It's easier to be comfortable.

00:11:32.160 | It's easier to just live in comfort.

00:11:33.700 | It's hard to be uncomfortable.

00:11:34.700 | It's hard to do something repeatedly over and over and over again.

00:11:39.660 | There's a point when you train, you're going to reach a wall.

00:11:43.900 | People's greatest growth comes when you push through that wall.

00:11:47.220 | Then when that uncomfortable becomes comfortable, then it's the choice, "Can I get to uncomfortable

00:11:51.140 | again?"

00:11:52.140 | That's where greatness really comes through.

00:11:54.060 | It's that constant pursuit of being uncomfortable.

00:11:56.340 | When most people just want to stay comfortable, they reach a point of being content.

00:12:01.500 | I know these types of conversations, it's hard for people sometimes.

00:12:04.140 | They're like, "Oh my goodness, this is kind of freaking me out a little bit."

00:12:08.700 | But we all have it in us in order to get to that place, but you have to choose to go there.

00:12:13.200 | Once you test yourself, you realize what you have, you realize you perform at a higher

00:12:17.780 | level.

00:12:18.780 | More confidence comes.

00:12:19.780 | That confidence shows up in all areas of your life.

00:12:21.940 | It just feels good.

00:12:22.940 | If you're not doing what you know you need to do to feel good, that doesn't feel good.

00:12:27.860 | People seek that sometimes.

00:12:28.860 | Yeah.

00:12:29.860 | You said on the way here, you woke up at one o'clock to get your workout in because you

00:12:33.620 | knew you're going to perform your best.

00:12:36.540 | You got to get your workout in.

00:12:37.540 | When you went to go speak in Orlando.

00:12:41.580 | I think you brought that up one time about being uncomfortable.

00:12:43.980 | I actually took that and I tried to apply it.

00:12:46.220 | I hate cold tubs.

00:12:48.340 | You sent me a text one time and you were like, "Uncomfortability," or whatever the word is,

00:12:53.700 | "speeds up the process of mental toughness."

00:12:56.340 | I took that and I was like, "I'm going to try to make myself as uncomfortable as I can

00:12:59.980 | be in my workouts or my recovery," whatever it is.

00:13:05.820 | It really is true.

00:13:06.820 | When you push yourself, even in the weight room, if you throw on to where you can barely

00:13:13.300 | lift it when it's uncomfortable, that's how you really get stronger.

00:13:16.580 | You know what I'm saying?

00:13:17.940 | That's a fact.

00:13:20.140 | That's another moment.

00:13:21.140 | I remember when you were coming back from your rehab, I remember when I would come for

00:13:25.900 | lifts and Nick is pushing everybody as he always does, keeping everybody uncomfortable.

00:13:30.860 | I remember you had the iPad tracking everybody, but you were still getting a little bit in.

00:13:35.260 | I knew there was something special about your ability to stay uncomfortable when you'd grab

00:13:39.140 | some weights.

00:13:40.140 | Even though you probably weren't supposed to be doing it, you're like, "I'm going to

00:13:42.300 | push a little bit.

00:13:43.300 | I'm going to push a little bit."

00:13:44.300 | See, that's a choice.

00:13:45.300 | It was a choice for you to push yourself there.

00:13:47.140 | It was a choice for you to get inside the cold tub.

00:13:49.740 | What a lot of people don't realize is those little decisions and choices.

00:13:52.840 | My mother taught me the greatest life lesson I've ever learned before she passed away.

00:13:56.460 | It's not how long you live, it's how you choose to live your life.

00:14:00.380 | Most people don't realize when you choose to get in the cold tub, you're manufacturing

00:14:04.900 | a 35-point game.

00:14:07.700 | When you eat right, and I know how important nutrition is to you because I used to make

00:14:11.260 | smoothies for you in the weight room too, so I know the nutrition, you're manufacturing

00:14:16.980 | by eating right a 32-point game, a 17-rebound night, a new contract that you signed.

00:14:24.020 | All those little things manufacture, but most people aren't willing to consistently show

00:14:28.340 | up and do those things.

00:14:29.580 | It's gotten to the point, like you said, I don't even feel ... I don't feel comfortable

00:14:33.820 | now unless I'm uncomfortable.

00:14:35.260 | I mean, you're probably the same way.

00:14:36.700 | Unless you see the growth every day, you're not going to feel like yourself.

00:14:41.420 | You have a good saying, you text it to me every Friday, "Champions create distance on

00:14:46.220 | Fridays."

00:14:47.220 | Where does that come from?

00:14:48.700 | That came from ... All my work actually started corporately.

00:14:52.020 | My speaking, I've been doing this for 15 years.

00:14:54.700 | Everything was corporate from '06 until 2011, until my old high school basketball coach

00:14:59.100 | in 2011 called me, his name was Todd Basler, and he said, "Benny Boy," he still calls me

00:15:05.020 | Benny Boy to this day, "Benny Boy, these guys are underperforming.

00:15:08.740 | Come and talk to them.

00:15:09.740 | Will you come talk to these guys for me?"

00:15:10.740 | They were playing Parkway Central, Central was ranked 10th, Ledoux was unranked, and

00:15:15.780 | I came and I fired these guys up, and they knock off Parkway Central, and I'm hooked.

00:15:19.660 | That's when all my work in sports started.

00:15:21.220 | Then it became the sports analogies and business kind of blending it together, and then it

00:15:25.660 | just hit me.

00:15:26.660 | I've been saying it for eight or nine years now, it's every Friday, "Champions create

00:15:29.980 | distance on Fridays."

00:15:32.060 | Most people, what do they do?

00:15:33.060 | If we're talking about an eight to five, they show up, I can't wait to clock out, they're

00:15:37.020 | already thinking about the weekend, and then they get to Saturday, and they're so disappointed

00:15:41.420 | in themselves that they didn't work on Friday, which then creates stress for Monday.

00:15:46.260 | Yet the highest performers say, "If today's a work day, I'm going to attack that work

00:15:49.860 | day.

00:15:50.860 | I'm going to create distance from the people."

00:15:52.160 | Maybe that's creating a promotion.

00:15:53.400 | It's a manufacturing ... It's manufacturing.

00:15:56.100 | Their next opportunity, and so champions tend to do the little bit extra when other individuals

00:16:01.580 | stay content, and they hold back from doing what's needed.

00:16:03.940 | Yeah, no doubt.

00:16:04.940 | It's crazy, because people will take those days off, those Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays.

00:16:08.460 | Then they're stressed out come Monday.

00:16:10.460 | You come stressed out, or even in basketball, like I've noticed this.

00:16:13.860 | If I take two days off on the weekend, you come back and you lost a little bit of the

00:16:18.300 | ground you gained.

00:16:20.340 | Even if you go in for a little bit, touch shots, feel the ball, you're going to retain

00:16:24.540 | some of the stuff you worked on through the week, but if you just take the whole weekend

00:16:27.620 | off, at least for me, I can't.

00:16:30.500 | I don't come back the same come Monday, and then it takes Tuesday and Wednesday.

00:16:35.100 | By Wednesday, I'll feel back normal, and then ... You know what I mean?

00:16:37.980 | If you're just consistent every day, that's the way to do it.

00:16:42.900 | For this conversation, all I had to do was go through our text, and I got stuff I wanted

00:16:46.500 | to ask you about.

00:16:47.500 | Another one you talk about is no undue pressure.

00:16:51.380 | You text me this before games, you'll say, "Eliminate distractions and no undue pressure."

00:16:56.620 | What do you mean by that?

00:16:59.020 | When you step onto the court, the last thing I want you thinking about is I have to have

00:17:02.460 | a 35-point night.

00:17:04.260 | I have to hit six three-pointers tonight.

00:17:08.340 | That's thinking about the result that you cannot control.

00:17:11.400 | If you do your preparation, which we know how hard you work off the court in those unseen

00:17:15.380 | hours, as our guy Drew Hamlin likes to say, in those unseen hours, then you're prepared

00:17:20.380 | for the game.

00:17:22.180 | Why should there be pressure?

00:17:23.220 | Why should there be stress?

00:17:24.220 | Why should you worry about your point?

00:17:25.420 | You've already put in the work.

00:17:26.860 | You just need to play loose, attack those 48 minutes, give it everything that you've

00:17:30.580 | got, one possession at a time.

00:17:32.540 | Don't put any pressure on yourself.

00:17:34.460 | Don't put the pressure on yourself.

00:17:36.780 | Eliminate all distractions so that there's peace of mind when you get onto the court.

00:17:40.700 | We've had conversations, right?

00:17:42.180 | Times where things are challenging, your mind's racing a little bit.

00:17:45.420 | When we can quiet the mind, it allows you to attack at your highest level.

00:17:49.220 | It's crazy how that works.

00:17:50.660 | The freer you are, the higher you can perform, if you've put in the work beforehand.

00:17:55.660 | That's the key, though, if you've put in the work, because once the game starts, you can

00:18:00.820 | look the man across from you, and if you know he hasn't prepared, you can see it in his

00:18:05.380 | eyes, you will have 35 points.

00:18:07.460 | I will attack every possession, you're not going to stop me tonight, because I can see

00:18:10.340 | in your eyes you have not worked the way that I work, and that's a massive advantage that

00:18:14.180 | you can have as an athlete.

00:18:15.180 | Man, especially at this level, because it's all about -- at the NBA level, it's not about

00:18:20.380 | the skill.

00:18:21.380 | Everyone's skilled.

00:18:22.380 | There's more skilled players than others, but it's way more about who has the mental

00:18:26.020 | edge, and that only comes from the work you put in.

00:18:29.940 | I remember my rookie year, people were like, "Why is he shooting that shot?"

00:18:35.420 | I knew I shot that shot way more times than anyone else on the court was putting in the

00:18:40.780 | work, you know what I mean?

00:18:41.780 | You just feel more confident in yourself, and that's the way to do it.

00:18:46.420 | You just came out with a book, bro, On Common Leadership.

00:18:49.980 | You talk about the way the best leaders lead.

00:18:52.900 | Talk about that, because you're obviously a leader of leaders, you know what I'm saying?

00:18:56.380 | You talk to a lot of people, help a lot of people.

00:18:59.180 | What are your tips for being a good leader?

00:19:01.060 | Do you think it needs to be vocal, by example?

00:19:04.740 | What are your biggest things?

00:19:05.740 | >> So, there's -- I would say there's five common things, themes, so I wanted to honor

00:19:10.300 | 11 leaders that have impacted my life, because the blessing in my work is, you know, you

00:19:15.780 | can say these things, I've helped you.

00:19:17.860 | You inspire me, right?

00:19:19.620 | Your work every day, you fighting through challenge and adversity.

00:19:22.220 | When I see pain in your eyes, but you fight through it, that inspires me, right?

00:19:25.700 | So, it's an iron sharpens iron, so I wanted to honor 11 people that have impacted my life,

00:19:30.380 | how I show up, and 11 amazing leaders that I've worked with, and there's five things

00:19:34.300 | that they had in common.

00:19:35.800 | Number one, they do what I call the unrequired.

00:19:37.860 | They're willing to do that little bit extra, like we talk about.

00:19:40.980 | Everybody knows what's required for you to win the day, to be your best, but the individuals

00:19:45.100 | who do that little bit extra, they're the ones -- a little bit extra every day, you

00:19:50.340 | keep stacking those days, makes a profound difference.

00:19:53.480 | Number two, they connect to the burn.

00:19:55.000 | They understand what drives them, so for me, when I wake up, I think about my mother every

00:19:59.620 | single day.

00:20:00.620 | Literally, on my phone, my alarm on my phone, it says my mother's name, Jan Fishman Newman.

00:20:05.020 | I wear a bracelet that says legacy.

00:20:07.020 | I have a little journal.

00:20:08.020 | I write Jan Fishman Newman Lake every morning, and that's what the highest performers do.

00:20:12.540 | They connect to that burn.

00:20:14.420 | They also live to the standard.

00:20:16.380 | They don't allow their feelings to dictate how they show up, so if I were to text you

00:20:20.960 | before a game, "Oh, you went for 35 last night.

00:20:23.780 | Go do it again."

00:20:24.780 | We're living in the past of your feelings, as opposed to, same thing, nothing changes,

00:20:29.940 | no undue pressure, eliminate distractions, one possession at a time, just go cut it loose

00:20:33.860 | and be you.

00:20:35.900 | So that's a standard that you've created for you to have the right mindset when you step

00:20:40.380 | on the court.

00:20:41.380 | - Yeah, I want to pause you right there, because Giannis, I think he is a professional at doing

00:20:47.220 | that.

00:20:48.220 | Nikola Jokic is another one.

00:20:49.660 | It doesn't matter if they play good, bad, whatever, they're not thinking about that

00:20:52.980 | once the game's over.

00:20:53.980 | They're their same self.

00:20:54.980 | If they have 50 points, they're not getting too high, because then it's going to affect

00:20:59.620 | how they play the next game.

00:21:00.700 | I know a lot of athletes, they'll have a good game, but then they'll be really high for

00:21:05.020 | a second, but then they're kind of scared for the next game, because I've got to outdo

00:21:08.500 | what I just did, or match it, and then they end up tripping, or not having a good game.

00:21:13.060 | But like you said, when you can move on from that previous performance, or maybe be happy,

00:21:18.180 | but then once you go home, you sleep, wake up the next day, it's all over again.

00:21:22.140 | You've got to do it again.

00:21:24.180 | That, I feel like, is a big key for athletes to be consistent in their performances.

00:21:31.460 | - And that goes to the fourth principle, which is to lock in.

00:21:34.380 | You've got to lock in consistently.

00:21:35.780 | It's not occasionally.

00:21:36.780 | So you now understand, you have to be happy for yourself.

00:21:39.660 | You had a great game, team wins a game, great team effort, great contribution, but the next

00:21:45.100 | day you've got to lock in again.

00:21:46.980 | That's what the greatest champions do.

00:21:48.240 | You just said it.

00:21:49.240 | You've got to go back to work the next day.

00:21:51.460 | And then the last thing, it's a transfer of belief.

00:21:53.300 | They believe in themselves, and they believe in the individuals around them.

00:21:57.500 | So there's a great belief you have in yourself, because for all of us, I always say, everything

00:22:03.460 | you need is already in you, meaning God gave it to you, but you've got to choose to go

00:22:06.940 | and take it.

00:22:07.940 | So that's a belief you have, I'm going to go take this every day.

00:22:10.660 | A lot of people don't choose to do that.

00:22:12.780 | But then you also have an opportunity through your example to lead other people on the team,

00:22:16.380 | to lead other people in your life, your brothers and sisters and your big, beautiful family,

00:22:20.260 | to be an example.

00:22:21.260 | Hey, go take yours too, because you would do it for them.

00:22:24.580 | I know how much you love your family.

00:22:25.780 | You would do it for the whole family.

00:22:27.500 | But the reality is, you've got to take care of yours, but be a great example for them

00:22:30.220 | to do it for themselves.

00:22:31.480 | - No doubt.

00:22:32.740 | And obviously, this is the last question, everyone's not a leader.

00:22:36.840 | Not everyone can do, put in the work like we do, they just don't have it in them.

00:22:40.720 | But if you had, well, I mean, they might, but it's tough.

00:22:44.100 | But if you had three things you could tell the young people, or that you see the younger

00:22:46.900 | generation, three habits they could change to kind of improve themselves, you know, people

00:22:52.060 | that just want to get out of that rut, you know, that cycle of whatever it is, what would

00:22:56.180 | they be?

00:22:57.300 | I know one for me, at least, I started waking up early, you inspire me a little bit earlier

00:23:01.380 | than I have to.

00:23:03.180 | - Don't wake up as early as me, though, you need more sleep.

00:23:05.740 | - But just a little bit earlier, you know, 6.30 or 7 a.m., before I have to really do

00:23:09.340 | stuff to get that time to lock in and think.

00:23:13.360 | That's a big one for me.

00:23:14.360 | What would you say is three habits?

00:23:15.980 | - Well, I think a morning routine would be one.

00:23:18.620 | So we'll steal your answer, 'cause that is definitely one.

00:23:21.380 | Number two, I think, step into the fire.

00:23:23.420 | You know, too many people, they see the fire of life and they run.

00:23:27.020 | You know, so don't do it by yourself, but have great mentors, have great coaches.

00:23:30.700 | My basketball coach, who I mentioned earlier, that man has mentored me now for over 25 years.

00:23:36.940 | He's still one of the biggest blessings in my life.

00:23:39.900 | I mean, other books I've written, he's a character in books that I've written, I mean, this man

00:23:43.500 | has helped mold me.

00:23:44.580 | But I need him to get through challenge and adversity, right?

00:23:47.540 | So don't go into that fire alone.

00:23:49.660 | And then number three, have great habits.

00:23:51.760 | And understand that consistency is not couple days in a row here, and then I'm gonna stop,

00:23:56.860 | and then a couple good days, no, consistency's every day.

00:24:00.140 | You mentioned it earlier, it's every day.

00:24:01.940 | - Even on the weekends?

00:24:02.940 | Do you get a day off?

00:24:04.840 | - So for me, I have a crazy workout that I do, and today, this morning, was actually

00:24:10.300 | my 823rd straight day doing this workout.

00:24:13.140 | It's 45 minutes, it's 10 different exercises, it's 250 air squats unbroken, planking for

00:24:19.020 | almost 10 minutes, all these crazy things.

00:24:20.900 | But I do that 'cause I'm an old man, I gotta keep up with you and try to stay fresh with

00:24:25.020 | you young guys.

00:24:26.580 | But for me, it's every day.

00:24:27.940 | I don't necessarily recommend that to anybody, but for me, I will share with you, I feel

00:24:31.740 | great.

00:24:32.740 | I haven't had any, I'm a 42-year-old man, I haven't had any injuries in 823 straight

00:24:36.860 | days.

00:24:37.860 | So I'm not saying that's the answer for everybody, go consult your physician, but I think to

00:24:41.020 | get your body moving, it makes you feel good.

00:24:44.420 | It makes you confident.

00:24:45.420 | So all the habits, whether it's your working out, whether it's being present and focused

00:24:49.260 | with your family, whether it's getting your work in, we can all choose to focus on what's

00:24:53.300 | gonna make us win one day at a time, and that's a choice.

00:24:57.140 | >> That's true, man.

00:24:58.140 | You motivate me.

00:24:59.140 | I know a lot of people watching this, they got a lot of wisdom today.

00:25:01.140 | I appreciate you being on Curious Mike.

00:25:03.140 | >> Appreciate you.

00:25:04.140 | >> Yes, sir.

00:25:05.140 | >> Rap.

00:25:06.140 | >> Stay tall, stay tall.

00:25:07.140 | Don't lean, don't lean, don't lean.

00:25:08.140 | Let's go first.

00:25:09.140 | Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

00:25:10.140 | Nod your mouth.

00:25:11.140 | All right, don't swing your back.

00:25:12.140 | Control.

00:25:13.140 | Yeah, that's one.

00:25:14.140 | Yeah, come on.

00:25:15.140 | Come on, come on, head up, head up.

00:25:16.140 | Two.

00:25:17.140 | Control, control.

00:25:18.140 | Three.

00:25:19.140 | Four.

00:25:20.140 | Five.

00:25:21.140 | Six.

00:25:22.140 | Seven.

00:25:23.140 | Eight.

00:25:24.140 | Nine.

00:25:25.140 | Ten.

00:25:26.140 | One.

00:25:27.140 | Two.

00:25:28.140 | Control.

00:25:29.140 | Come on, up.

00:25:30.140 | Up, up, up, no.

00:25:31.140 | Five.

00:25:32.140 | Three.

00:25:33.140 | Come on, give me two more.

00:25:34.140 | Go.

00:25:35.140 | Four.

00:25:36.140 | Last one.

00:25:37.140 | Bam.

00:25:38.140 | Last one.

00:25:39.140 | Bam.

00:25:40.140 | Last one.

00:25:41.140 | Bam.

00:25:42.140 | Last one.

Living a Consistent and Disciplined Life ft. Ben Newman

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