Living a Consistent and Disciplined Life ft. Ben Newman

00:00:00.000 | We are here with another episode of Curious Mike out here in San Diego with my guy Ben

00:00:13.300 | Newman.

00:00:14.300 | Appreciate you pulling up on me, my guy.

00:00:16.180 | Appreciate you, man.

00:00:17.180 | So, you know, obviously we've known each other for a while.

00:00:19.520 | I remember meeting you back in Mizzou while I was there for that year.

00:00:24.440 | But I play basketball and you obviously are in a different field.

00:00:26.780 | You work with some hoopers, but kind of tell us a little bit about what you do.

00:00:30.000 | Well, for me, it's all the mental side, right?

00:00:32.640 | So in business and in sports, it's working with individuals on what it takes to embrace

00:00:37.180 | the mental side.

00:00:38.180 | And I know this is supposed to be about me, but you talk about the mental side.

00:00:42.000 | I'm just so proud of everything you've accomplished and how you've embraced the challenge and

00:00:45.400 | adversity.

00:00:46.720 | That's really what I do every day.

00:00:47.980 | It's helping people embrace challenge and adversity to write their ultimate story.

00:00:52.620 | And you've had some pretty awesome chapters that have come after adversity.

00:00:56.360 | And so that's what I work every day with is just helping people embrace that to write

00:00:59.440 | those next chapters and ultimately their story.

00:01:01.520 | Yeah, it's unbelievable, man.

00:01:02.840 | I mean, coming through all that adversity.

00:01:05.720 | Do you have any stories from kind of when we met or any stories during our time in Mizzou

00:01:10.160 | of me that you like would remember?

00:01:12.440 | Because you were always around, but I didn't always, obviously you saw everything.

00:01:15.440 | Did you have any stories?

00:01:16.440 | Oh, yeah.

00:01:17.440 | So first one is, so I was a hooper back in the day, as you know, however, I can shoot

00:01:23.600 | a little bit.

00:01:24.600 | I was slow.

00:01:25.600 | So I had a couple D3 opportunities, but ended up going to Michigan State to watch them win

00:01:29.840 | a title.

00:01:30.840 | But at being a shooter, I was always impressed with shooters.

00:01:33.920 | So one of the first things was, I thought when I came to the first practice my first

00:01:38.000 | day, you were at the top of the key, and you hit 19 straight three pointers.

00:01:42.580 | And what went through my mind, it wasn't necessarily the 19, it was the number of shots that this

00:01:48.720 | young man must have taken in order to put yourself in position to hit 19 straight three

00:01:53.360 | pointers.

00:01:54.360 | Right.

00:01:55.360 | So I always look at work ethic, like what allows somebody to achieve what they achieve.

00:01:59.940 | And so number one was the work ethic.

00:02:01.960 | And then the second story, which is painful, but the pain is what leads us to our growth,

00:02:08.240 | was I remember the first game.

00:02:09.720 | Yeah.

00:02:10.720 | I remember Iowa State.

00:02:11.720 | Right.

00:02:12.720 | I mean, everybody's excited.

00:02:13.720 | Everybody's energized.

00:02:14.720 | And I remember you came up to me in the locker room, and you're like, bro, I don't know if

00:02:18.520 | I can go.

00:02:19.520 | Yeah.

00:02:20.520 | And I mean, the emotion was in your face.

00:02:22.480 | Your back was killing you.

00:02:24.600 | And I just admired the fact that you put it on the line for the team that night.

00:02:28.600 | You made it about the team.

00:02:30.200 | Yeah.

00:02:31.200 | And you attempted to go out there knowing the pain that you were in.

00:02:34.280 | And we know what happened afterwards.

00:02:35.920 | But then to come back into battle to when we were playing Tennessee in the NCAA tournament

00:02:41.000 | that year.

00:02:42.000 | Yeah.

00:02:43.000 | Yeah.

00:02:44.000 | I think about that.

00:02:45.000 | And it's one of those things, like you got heart, you got guts, you got fight in you.

00:02:48.560 | That's why you're achieving what you're achieving.

00:02:49.960 | But those are the things that I remember.

00:02:52.440 | It's the hard work, but then it's the mindset that you have.

00:02:54.960 | That's crazy, because I remember that vividly, too, that game.

00:02:57.880 | And I remember coming up to you, because I was like, huh, he's such a good speaker.

00:03:02.400 | What if he could just speak it into me?

00:03:04.200 | What if he could say something to make the pain go away?

00:03:06.320 | Because I knew you had that.

00:03:09.120 | So yeah, I remember that.

00:03:11.040 | And then, but no, bro, it was just too much.

00:03:13.800 | The few days leading up to that game, it was getting worse and worse.

00:03:17.280 | So by that time, it was impossible to play.

00:03:21.080 | But I mean, you were in my corner the entire time through the rehab process, then going

00:03:25.820 | into the draft.

00:03:28.080 | And then our relationship kind of changed, because I reached out to you one day.

00:03:32.360 | And I was like, man, I'm going through this.

00:03:34.480 | I forget what it was, but I was like, could you just send me messages daily?

00:03:40.440 | This was, man, years ago, bro.

00:03:42.400 | I was like, can you send me messages to encourage me daily?

00:03:45.160 | And ever since then, every single morning, I wake up to a text from you-- I don't think

00:03:49.800 | even as one morning-- saying something motivational, something for the day.

00:03:54.640 | And that's unbelievable, because I mentioned it one time.

00:03:57.140 | And I know a lot of people, they will, like you talk about it all the time, they'll talk

00:04:00.800 | the talk, or they'll say, yeah, I'll do this for you, whatever.

00:04:03.460 | But then they never follow through, or they might feel like a week.

00:04:05.820 | It's been every single day.

00:04:07.760 | How did you get that consistency about you, or just that routine?

00:04:12.640 | I mean, those texts are coming in at 2 or 3 AM.

00:04:15.280 | You know what I'm saying?

00:04:16.760 | My favorite texts are the ones where you say things to me like, bro, what time did you

00:04:21.040 | go to bed last night?

00:04:22.040 | Bro, what time did you wake up today?

00:04:24.040 | It's unbelievable.

00:04:25.040 | Well, it's one of those things.

00:04:26.640 | I'm driven by embracing your everyday opportunity.

00:04:30.720 | And you know my story.

00:04:31.720 | I mean, I shared it with you guys the first time that I spoke at Mizzou, when Konzo brought

00:04:35.080 | me in, which was such a blessing, being able to work with you guys that year.

00:04:39.960 | And my mom passed away 11 days before my eighth birthday.

00:04:43.040 | My parents were divorced when I was six months old.

00:04:45.440 | So all I've ever known is challenge and adversity.

00:04:47.600 | I'm a 42-year-old man.

00:04:49.440 | My mother passed away at 38 from a rare muscle disease there's still no cure for.

00:04:53.980 | So every day past 38 has been a gift that God has given me.

00:04:58.960 | So if I have a blessing of having a relationship with somebody like you, and you ask me to

00:05:03.800 | help you with something, I'm going to be there to help you.

00:05:06.160 | And that's all I know.

00:05:07.880 | And I think the world, unfortunately, there are too many people, as you just referenced,

00:05:12.200 | they like to talk, but the action tells the real story.

00:05:16.200 | And so our real relationship comes from, can you call me in a bind, and I'm going to be

00:05:20.200 | there for you.

00:05:21.200 | Oh, Mike, I'll call you in a few days.

00:05:22.760 | I'm busy.

00:05:23.760 | No, no, no, I'm going to be there for you, because that's the relationship that we have.

00:05:26.680 | And I think that's what life is all about.

00:05:28.560 | And I think there's too many people who talk, rather than driving action and building relationships,

00:05:32.720 | because that's what life's about.

00:05:34.440 | No doubt.

00:05:35.440 | And you do a great job of helping us.

00:05:36.640 | I mean, those Mizzou days, me now, I know you talk to a lot of teams still.

00:05:41.640 | But you, personally, as your own individual, how did you get to the point where you were

00:05:45.800 | making these life habits of-- like, I remember not too long ago, there was a fight.

00:05:50.920 | I think it ended at, like, 12 AM.

00:05:52.640 | I still get my text from you at 3 AM.

00:05:54.680 | Like, I'm like, bro, did you sleep?

00:05:56.840 | I just saw you on TV at the fight.

00:05:59.380 | How did you get that in you, where you were just--

00:06:02.480 | Now, that one in full disclosure.

00:06:04.640 | I'm going to tell the people, I sent the text before I went to bed that night.

00:06:08.520 | Oh, you did?

00:06:09.520 | You did?

00:06:10.520 | Because I was still up.

00:06:11.520 | I was still up at the time.

00:06:12.520 | And I'm like, I was thinking to myself, I mean, am I going to wake up in an hour and

00:06:15.440 | send my messages?

00:06:16.440 | And I'm like, no, no.

00:06:17.440 | I'm sending them before I go to bed.

00:06:18.440 | That makes sense.

00:06:19.440 | So that was one night where I had to do that, because I do have to get some sleep.

00:06:23.760 | But a lot of the discipline is, it's wanting to maximize every single day, right?

00:06:28.400 | So for you, you have a choice, right?

00:06:30.440 | You have earned everything that you've had.

00:06:32.400 | You fought through all the adversity because you made a choice.

00:06:35.040 | Here's how I'm going to work.

00:06:36.040 | And oftentimes, it's not the work that the nuggets ask you to do.

00:06:39.640 | It's the unrequired work.

00:06:40.880 | It's the extra work.

00:06:41.880 | You know, my guy, Messer, I mean, I remember speaking to his team at SIUE when he played

00:06:46.040 | back in the day years ago.

00:06:47.960 | They would bring me in to speak.

00:06:48.960 | And, you know, it's the work that you guys put in in the gym.

00:06:51.680 | That's what gets it done.

00:06:52.720 | And so for me, it's the little things that I've been blessed to have coaches and mentors

00:06:57.620 | in my life who have helped me understand if you do the little things every day and you

00:07:01.040 | keep stacking those habits every day, day after day after day, from my nutrition to

00:07:05.240 | my health, to how I show up for my family and my kids, to how I work.

00:07:09.760 | If we just take it one day at a time and choose to win one day at a time, you will have success.

00:07:15.040 | And I think a lot of people, they get so caught up in, "I want the result.

00:07:19.160 | Give me the result right now.

00:07:20.160 | Oh, just give it to me right now."

00:07:22.720 | As opposed to, "Are you willing to do what it takes every day in order to achieve that

00:07:26.240 | result?"

00:07:27.240 | And most people, they don't have that consistency.

00:07:30.280 | And I believe one more thing.

00:07:31.980 | We have to be the example.

00:07:34.280 | We have to be the example.

00:07:35.920 | You can't talk about it if you're not doing it.

00:07:38.600 | I mean, there would be a different level of respect, or maybe we wouldn't be sitting here

00:07:42.920 | if I didn't show up in my life and have discipline.

00:07:45.200 | Because how could you and I have a conversation about discipline if I was completely undisciplined?

00:07:49.920 | There would just be a different level of respect.

00:07:51.640 | And so I feel like you have to be an example of showing up and doing the things.

00:07:55.560 | How could I have a conversation with you about discipline if I'm undisciplined?

00:07:58.960 | Exactly.

00:07:59.960 | So man, I know a lot of people, they want to make these life habits, these new changes,

00:08:05.000 | but then you know everyone, we're human.

00:08:06.660 | So I don't know if you ever have off days, but when people have a bad day or they feel

00:08:13.120 | like they lost the day, how do you, when you're so driven by a standard and you're putting

00:08:19.600 | these streaks together, whatever it is, and you have a bad day, how do you kind of bounce

00:08:23.720 | back from that guilt and not let one bad day turn into, "Oh, I'm going to just give it

00:08:27.520 | all up."

00:08:28.520 | Because a lot of people do that.

00:08:29.520 | They make these New Year's resolutions.

00:08:31.400 | They might do good for a week, and then they fall off for a day, and now it's kind of hard

00:08:35.460 | to get back on the right path.

00:08:37.360 | What do you say to people like that?

00:08:39.120 | For me, it's about the shifting of perspective.

00:08:42.140 | As tough as it is on the ears, I go back to my mother coming to the dining room table

00:08:46.360 | with an IV stand while we had 24-hour nursing care in our house, her last year living, to

00:08:51.680 | ask my older brother Drew and I how our days were at school.

00:08:54.820 | So if my mother was able to do that, what's really a bad day for me?

00:08:58.720 | So I just shift the perspective.

00:08:59.880 | I call that the power to reframe.

00:09:01.680 | It's our ability to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and I think that's

00:09:06.140 | the opportunity.

00:09:07.140 | It doesn't mean I don't have bad days.

00:09:08.140 | I still have two coaches.

00:09:09.660 | I read books every day.

00:09:11.060 | I have mentors, so I'm high maintenance, right?

00:09:13.540 | I have issues.

00:09:14.540 | I have problems.

00:09:15.540 | I have struggles, but I have people there to help me.

00:09:17.940 | So number one, I think it's acknowledging it's okay to have challenge and adversity.

00:09:21.680 | I have it all the time, but I have those confidants and individuals that I reach out to who help

00:09:26.260 | me get through it.

00:09:27.260 | I think anytime we try to manage it alone, that's where we get in trouble.

00:09:30.500 | That's why I admire when you'll pick up the phone and call me, "Hey, let's talk through

00:09:33.420 | something."

00:09:34.420 | Right?

00:09:35.420 | If you try to do it by yourself, you take it on to the court.

00:09:36.900 | So my goal in a conversation like that is I want to provide peace of mind for you.

00:09:40.460 | Let's leave it off the court so you can step on to the court, have intentional focus, lock

00:09:44.140 | in, and play your game.

00:09:47.020 | I think, like you said, the ability to reframe is so much more easier said than done, but

00:09:52.180 | it really is a choice.

00:09:53.740 | I think a lot of people, especially in today's age, I don't know if it's social media or

00:09:58.180 | what it is, but they have a hard time with anxiety, like choosing their thoughts.

00:10:03.460 | Is that kind of like a muscle, like you have to just do it over and over, and then you

00:10:06.740 | get better at kind of choosing to think positive, or is it just getting off your phone?

00:10:12.340 | I think this is it for me, kind of getting off my phone, going into quiet space, and

00:10:16.180 | just sitting, and then kind of changing perspectives, because it's hard.

00:10:18.860 | Like you say it all the time, eliminate distractions.

00:10:21.700 | Is that the only way you can really do it, you think?

00:10:23.620 | Yeah.

00:10:24.620 | I mean, you just said it.

00:10:25.620 | You've identified, "I have to put my phone away if I'm actually going to free my mind."

00:10:29.860 | So most people know, "You should probably put your phone away," and then what do most

00:10:33.260 | people do?

00:10:34.260 | They don't put their phone away.

00:10:35.260 | So you've identified, "Okay, here's the shift I have to make in my environment if I'm actually

00:10:38.740 | going to clear my mind," and I think that's common for anyone.

00:10:41.440 | We all know what we need to do, but do we actually choose to do the things we know we

00:10:46.000 | need to do to have a clear mind to perform, or to give ourself that peace, or to be able

00:10:49.940 | to push away?

00:10:51.300 | Isn't that funny, though?

00:10:52.620 | We always say, for a lot of people that struggle with social media use or whatever, "When I

00:10:57.460 | get off social media, I feel the best I've ever felt," but then we always kind of end

00:11:01.020 | up going back to some of the destructive things in our life.

00:11:04.580 | I don't know where that comes from.

00:11:06.020 | I know there's a quote that says, "A lot of times we are more afraid of our true light

00:11:11.940 | and potential than we are of our darkness.

00:11:14.340 | We feel more comfortable kind of in our old bad habits and the things we used to do,"

00:11:19.540 | which is kind of a crazy thought, you know what I mean?

00:11:21.920 | Some people are so ... It's actually hard for them to evolve and become their better

00:11:25.460 | self because it's just uncomfortable.

00:11:26.460 | Can you talk about that?

00:11:27.460 | Well, people don't like being uncomfortable.

00:11:30.660 | It's easier to be comfortable.

00:11:32.140 | It's easier to just live in comfort.

00:11:33.660 | It's hard to be uncomfortable.

00:11:34.660 | It's hard to do something repeatedly over and over and over again.

00:11:39.660 | There's a point when you train, you're going to reach a wall, and people's greatest growth

00:11:44.780 | comes when you push through that wall, and then when that uncomfortable becomes comfortable,

00:11:49.220 | then it's the choice, "Can I get to uncomfortable again?"

00:11:51.900 | That's where greatness really comes through.

00:11:54.060 | It's that constant pursuit of being uncomfortable.

00:11:56.340 | When most people just want to stay comfortable, they reach a point of being content.

00:12:01.500 | I know these types of conversations, it's hard for people sometimes.

00:12:04.140 | They're like, "Oh my goodness, this is kind of freaking me out a little bit," but we all

00:12:09.060 | have it in us in order to get to that place, but you have to choose to go there.

00:12:13.220 | Once you test yourself, you realize what you have.

00:12:16.260 | You realize you perform at a higher level.

00:12:18.220 | More confidence comes.

00:12:19.280 | That confidence shows up in all areas of your life, and it just feels good.

00:12:22.980 | If you're not doing what you know you need to do to feel good, that doesn't feel good,

00:12:27.580 | but people seek that sometimes.

00:12:28.580 | Yeah, so you said on the way here, you woke up at 1 o'clock to get your workout in because

00:12:33.460 | you knew you're going to perform your best.

00:12:36.500 | You got to get your workout in.

00:12:37.500 | When you went to go speak in Orlando, so I actually ... I think you brought that up one

00:12:42.600 | time about being uncomfortable, and I actually took that and I tried to apply it to my ... I

00:12:46.220 | hate cold tubs, so I was like ... You sent me a text one time and you were like, "Uncomfortability,"

00:12:52.620 | or whatever the word is, "Speeds up the process of mental toughness," and so I took that and

00:12:56.940 | I was like, "I'm going to try to make myself as uncomfortable as I can be in my workouts

00:13:01.900 | or my recovery," whatever it is, and it really is true.

00:13:06.820 | When you push yourself, even in the weight room, if you throw on to where you can barely

00:13:13.320 | lift it when it's uncomfortable, that's how you really get stronger, you know what I'm

00:13:17.620 | saying?

00:13:18.620 | So that's a fact.

00:13:20.140 | That's another moment I remember.

00:13:22.180 | When you were coming back from your rehab, I remember when I would come for lifts and

00:13:27.260 | Nick is pushing everybody, as he always does, keeping everybody uncomfortable, and I remember

00:13:31.180 | you had the iPad tracking everybody, but you were still getting a little bit in, and I

00:13:35.420 | knew there was something special about your ability to stay uncomfortable when you'd grab

00:13:39.180 | some weights, and even though you probably weren't supposed to be doing it, you're like,

00:13:42.020 | "I'm going to push a little bit.

00:13:43.020 | I'm going to push a little bit."

00:13:44.020 | See, that's a choice.

00:13:45.020 | It was a choice for you to push yourself there.

00:13:47.180 | It was a choice for you to get inside the cold tub.

00:13:49.340 | What a lot of people don't realize is those little decisions and choices.

00:13:52.860 | My mother taught me the greatest life lesson I've ever learned before she passed away.

00:13:56.480 | It's not how long you live.

00:13:57.620 | It's how you choose to live your life, and most people don't realize when you choose

00:14:01.700 | to get in the cold tub, you're manufacturing a 35-point game, right?

00:14:07.700 | When you eat right, and I know how important nutrition is to you because I used to make

00:14:11.240 | smoothies for you in the weight room, too, right?

00:14:13.380 | I know the nutrition.

00:14:15.480 | That's one of those.

00:14:16.480 | You're manufacturing, by eating right, a 32-point game, a 17-rebound night, a new contract that

00:14:22.780 | you signed, right?

00:14:23.780 | So all those little things manufacture, but most people aren't willing to consistently

00:14:28.140 | show up and do those things.

00:14:29.540 | It's gotten to the point, like you said, I don't even feel ... I don't feel comfortable

00:14:33.820 | now unless I'm uncomfortable, and you're probably the same way.

00:14:36.700 | Unless you see the growth every day, you're not going to feel like yourself.

00:14:41.400 | You have a good saying.

00:14:42.820 | You text it to me every Friday, "Champions create distance on Fridays."

00:14:46.940 | Where does that come from?

00:14:48.440 | So that came from ... All my work actually started corporately.

00:14:51.900 | So my speaking, I've been doing this for 15 years.

00:14:54.320 | So everything was corporate from '06 until 2011, until my old high school basketball

00:14:58.700 | coach in 2011 called me.

00:15:01.220 | His name is Todd Basler, and he said, "Benny boy," he still calls me Benny boy to this

00:15:05.780 | day, "Benny boy, these guys are underperforming.

00:15:08.740 | Come and talk to them.

00:15:09.740 | Will you come talk to these guys for me?"

00:15:10.740 | And they were playing Parkway Central, Central was ranked 10th, Ledoux was unranked, and

00:15:15.820 | I came and I fired these guys up, and they knock off Parkway Central, and I'm hooked.

00:15:19.660 | That's when all my work in sports started.

00:15:21.620 | So then it became the sports analogies and business kind of blending it together.

00:15:25.500 | And then it just hit me, I think I've been saying it for eight or nine years now, it's

00:15:28.180 | every Friday, "Champions create distance on Fridays."

00:15:31.660 | Because most people, what do they do, right?

00:15:33.220 | If we're talking about an eight to five, they show up, I can't wait to clock out, they're

00:15:36.980 | already thinking about the weekend, and then they get to Saturday, and they're so disappointed

00:15:41.380 | in themselves that they didn't work on Friday, which then creates stress for Monday.

00:15:46.220 | Yet the highest performers say, "If today's a work day, I'm going to attack that work

00:15:49.800 | day, I'm going to create distance from the people, maybe that's creating a promotion."

00:15:53.340 | It's a manufacturing, right?

00:15:55.220 | It's manufacturing their next opportunity.

00:15:58.020 | And so champions tend to do the little bit extra when other individuals stay content

00:16:02.340 | and they hold back from doing what's needed.

00:16:03.980 | Yeah, no doubt.

00:16:05.100 | It's crazy because people will take those days off, those Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays.

00:16:09.060 | And then they're stressed out come Monday.

00:16:10.420 | You come stressed out.

00:16:11.420 | Or even in basketball, like I've noticed this.

00:16:13.820 | If I take two days off on the weekend, you come back and you lost a little bit of the

00:16:18.260 | ground you gained.

00:16:20.100 | So even if you go in for a little bit, touch shots, feel the ball, you're going to retain

00:16:24.540 | some of the stuff you worked on through the week.

00:16:26.020 | But if you just take the whole weekend off, at least for me, I can't, I don't come back

00:16:31.540 | the same come Monday.

00:16:33.420 | And then it takes Tuesday and Wednesday.

00:16:35.100 | By Wednesday, I'll feel back normal.

00:16:36.980 | And then, you know what I mean?

00:16:37.980 | So if you're just consistent every day, that's the way to do it.

00:16:42.900 | For this conversation, all I had to do was go through our text and I got stuff I wanted

00:16:46.500 | to ask you about.

00:16:47.500 | So another one you talk about is no undue pressure.

00:16:51.020 | And you text me this before games, you'll say, "Eliminate distractions and no undue

00:16:55.260 | pressure."

00:16:56.260 | What do you mean by that?

00:16:58.980 | When you step onto the court, the last thing I want you thinking about is, "I have to

00:17:02.420 | have a 35-point night.

00:17:04.220 | I have to hit six three-pointers tonight."

00:17:08.300 | That's thinking about the result that you cannot control.

00:17:11.360 | If you do your preparation, which we know how hard you work off the court in those unseen

00:17:15.340 | hours as our guy Drew Hamlin likes to say, in those unseen hours, then you're prepared

00:17:20.340 | for the game.

00:17:21.900 | So why should there be pressure?

00:17:23.220 | Why should there be stress?

00:17:24.220 | Why should you worry about your point?

00:17:25.420 | You've already put in the work.

00:17:26.860 | You just need to play loose, attack those 48 minutes, give it everything that you've

00:17:30.580 | got one possession at a time.

00:17:32.340 | So don't put any pressure on yourself.

00:17:34.420 | Don't put the pressure on yourself.

00:17:36.740 | Eliminate all distractions so there's peace of mind when you get onto the court.

00:17:40.580 | And we've had conversations, right?

00:17:42.180 | Times where things are challenging, your mind's racing a little bit.

00:17:45.340 | When we can quiet the mind, it allows you to attack at your highest level.

00:17:49.460 | It's crazy how that works.

00:17:50.620 | The freer you are, the higher you can perform if you've put in the work beforehand.

00:17:56.100 | That's the key, though, if you've put in the work.

00:17:58.740 | Because once the game starts, you can look the man across from you, and if you know he

00:18:03.300 | hasn't prepared, you can see it in his eyes, you will have 35 points because I will attack

00:18:07.940 | every possession, you're not going to stop me tonight because I can see in your eyes

00:18:10.780 | you have not worked the way that I work.

00:18:12.420 | No doubt.

00:18:13.420 | And that's a massive advantage that you can have as an athlete.

00:18:15.220 | Man, especially at this level because it's all about, at the NBA level, it's not about

00:18:20.420 | the skill.

00:18:21.420 | Everyone's skilled.

00:18:22.420 | There's more skilled players than others, but it's way more about who has the mental

00:18:26.020 | edge.

00:18:27.660 | And that only comes from the work you put in.

00:18:29.900 | I remember my rookie year, people were like, "Yo, why is he shooting that shot, this, that?"

00:18:34.660 | It's because I knew I shot that shot way more times than anyone else on the court was putting

00:18:40.660 | in the work, you know what I mean?

00:18:41.660 | So you just feel more confident in yourself, and that's the way to do it.

00:18:46.420 | You just came out with a book, bro, Oncoming Leadership.

00:18:49.980 | You talk about the way the best leaders lead.

00:18:52.900 | Talk about that, because you're obviously a leader of leaders, you know what I'm saying?

00:18:56.380 | You talk to a lot of people, help a lot of people.

00:18:59.180 | What are your tips for being a good leader?

00:19:00.940 | Do you think it needs to be vocal, by example, what are your biggest things?

00:19:05.840 | So I would say there's five common themes.

00:19:09.220 | So I wanted to honor 11 leaders that have impacted my life, because the blessing in

00:19:13.460 | my work is you can say these things, I've helped you, you inspire me, right?

00:19:19.660 | Your work every day, you fighting through challenge and adversity, when I see pain in

00:19:22.900 | your eyes, but you fight through it, that inspires me, right?

00:19:25.860 | So it's an iron sharpens iron.

00:19:27.300 | So I wanted to honor 11 people that have impacted my life, how I show up, and 11 amazing leaders

00:19:32.300 | that I've worked with.

00:19:33.580 | And there's five things that they had in common.

00:19:35.820 | Number one, they do what I call the unrequired.

00:19:37.860 | They're willing to do that little bit extra, like we talk about.

00:19:40.980 | Everybody knows what's required for you to win the day, to be your best, but the individuals

00:19:45.100 | who do that little bit extra, they're the ones, a little bit extra every day, you keep

00:19:50.500 | stacking those days, makes a profound difference.

00:19:53.460 | Number two, they connect to the burn.

00:19:54.980 | They understand what drives them.

00:19:57.480 | So for me, when I wake up, I think about my mother every single day, literally on my phone,

00:20:01.540 | my alarm on my phone, it says my mother's name, Jan Fishman Newman.

00:20:05.020 | I wear a bracelet that says legacy.

00:20:07.020 | I have a little journal, I write Jan Fishman Newman like every morning, right?

00:20:11.180 | And that's what the highest performers do, they connect to that burn.

00:20:14.420 | They also live to the standard, they don't allow their feelings to dictate how they show

00:20:18.420 | up.

00:20:19.420 | Right?

00:20:20.420 | So if I were to text you before a game, oh, you went for 35 last night, go do it again.

00:20:24.700 | We're living in the past of your feelings, as opposed to, same thing, nothing changes,

00:20:29.940 | no undue pressure, eliminate distractions, one possession at a time, just go cut loose

00:20:33.860 | and be you.

00:20:34.860 | Right?

00:20:35.860 | So that's a standard that you've created for you to have the right mindset when you step

00:20:40.340 | on the court.

00:20:41.340 | - Yeah, I wanna pause you right there, 'cause Giannis, I think he is a professional at doing

00:20:47.220 | that.

00:20:48.220 | Nikola Jokic is another one.

00:20:49.660 | It doesn't matter if they play good, bad, whatever, they're not thinking about that

00:20:52.980 | once the game's over.

00:20:53.980 | They're their same self.

00:20:54.980 | If they have 50 points, they're not getting too high, 'cause then it's gonna affect how

00:20:59.740 | they play the next game.

00:21:00.740 | I know a lot of athletes, they'll have a good game, but then they'll be really high for

00:21:05.020 | a second, but then they're kinda scared for the next game, because like, I gotta outdo

00:21:08.540 | what I just did, or match it, and then they end up tripping or not having a good game.

00:21:13.060 | But like you said, when you can move on from that previous performance, or maybe, you know,

00:21:17.660 | be happy, but then once you go home, you sleep, wake up the next day, it's all over again,

00:21:22.180 | you know what I mean?

00:21:23.180 | You gotta do it again.

00:21:24.180 | That, I feel like, is a big key for athletes to be consistent in their performances.

00:21:31.460 | - And that goes to the fourth principle, which is to lock in.

00:21:34.400 | You gotta lock in consistently, it's not occasionally.

00:21:36.660 | So you now understand, you have to be happy for yourself, right, I mean, you had a great

00:21:40.900 | game, team wins a game, great team effort, great contribution, but the next day you gotta

00:21:45.500 | lock in again.

00:21:46.500 | And that's what the greatest champions do, you just said it, you gotta go back to work

00:21:50.060 | the next day.

00:21:51.060 | - Right.

00:21:52.060 | - And then the last thing, it's a transfer of belief.

00:21:53.300 | They believe in themselves, and they believe in the individuals around them, right?

00:21:57.540 | So there's a great belief you have in yourself, right, 'cause for all of us, I always say,

00:22:02.620 | you know, everything you need is already in you, meaning God gave it to you, but you gotta

00:22:06.500 | choose to go and take it, right?

00:22:08.060 | So that's a belief you have, I'm gonna go take this every day, a lot of people don't

00:22:11.480 | choose to do that.

00:22:12.480 | But then you also have an opportunity through your example to lead other people on the team,

00:22:16.380 | to lead other people in your life, your brothers and sisters and your big, beautiful family,

00:22:19.940 | right, to be an example, and go take yours too.

00:22:22.380 | - Yeah.

00:22:23.380 | - 'Cause you would do it for 'em, I know how much you love your family, you would do it

00:22:26.060 | for the whole family.

00:22:27.060 | - Yeah.

00:22:28.060 | - But the reality is, you gotta take care of yours, but be a great example for them

00:22:30.220 | to do it for themselves.

00:22:31.460 | - No doubt.

00:22:32.740 | And obviously, this is the last question, everyone's not a leader, not everyone can

00:22:37.420 | do, put in the work like we do, they just don't have it in 'em.

00:22:40.700 | But if you had, well, I mean, they might, but it's tough, but if you had three things

00:22:44.820 | you could tell the young people, or that you see the younger generation, three habits they

00:22:48.300 | could change to kinda improve themselves, you know, people that just wanna get out of

00:22:53.220 | that rut, you know, that cycle of whatever it is, what would they be?

00:22:57.260 | I know one for me, at least, I started waking up early, you inspire me, a little bit earlier

00:23:01.380 | than I have to.

00:23:03.160 | - Don't wake up as early as me, though, you need more sleep.

00:23:05.740 | - But just a little bit earlier, you know, 6.30 or 7 a.m., before I have to really do

00:23:09.340 | stuff to get that time to lock in and think, that's a big one for me, what would you say

00:23:14.980 | is three habits?

00:23:15.980 | - Well, I think morning routine would be one, so we'll steal your answer, 'cause that is

00:23:20.180 | definitely one.

00:23:21.180 | Number two, I think, step into the fire.

00:23:23.420 | You know, too many people, they see the fire of life and they run.

00:23:27.020 | You know, so don't do it by yourself, but have great mentors, have great coaches.

00:23:30.700 | My basketball coach, who I mentioned earlier, that man has mentored me now for over 25 years,

00:23:36.940 | he's still one of the biggest blessings in my life, I mean, other books I've written,

00:23:41.060 | he's a character in books that I've written, I mean, this man has helped mold me, but I

00:23:44.620 | need him to get through challenge and adversity, right, so don't go into that fire alone.

00:23:49.660 | And then number three, have great habits, and understand that consistency is not couple

00:23:54.420 | days in a row here, and then I'm gonna stop, and then a couple good days, no, consistency's

00:23:58.820 | every day.

00:23:59.820 | - Every day.

00:24:00.820 | - You mentioned it earlier, it's every day.

00:24:01.820 | - Even on the weekends, or do you get a day off?

00:24:04.820 | - So for me, I have a crazy workout that I do, and today, this morning, was actually

00:24:10.300 | my 823rd straight day doing this workout, it's 45 minutes, it's 10 different exercises,

00:24:15.660 | it's 250 air squats unbroken, planking for almost 10 minutes, all these crazy things,

00:24:21.500 | but I do that 'cause I'm an old man, I gotta keep up with you and try to stay fresh with

00:24:25.020 | you young guys, but for me, it's every day.

00:24:27.940 | I don't necessarily recommend that to anybody, but for me, I will share with you, I feel

00:24:31.740 | great, I'm a 42-year-old man, I haven't had any injuries in 823 straight days, so I'm

00:24:37.500 | not saying that's the answer for everybody, go consult your physician, but I think to

00:24:40.980 | get your body moving, it makes you feel good, it makes you confident, so all the habits,

00:24:46.300 | whether it's your working out, whether it's being present and focused with your family,

00:24:50.380 | whether it's getting your work in, we can all choose to focus on what's gonna make us

00:24:53.820 | win one day at a time, and that's a choice.

00:24:57.140 | You motivate me. I know a lot of people watching this. They got a lot of wisdom today. I appreciate you being on Curious Mike

00:25:02.800 | Appreciate you. Yes, sir

00:25:05.580 | , I'm gonna swing it back control

00:25:22.340 | Yeah, come on head up

00:25:25.340 | No five three come on give me two more go last one

00:25:38.620 | - All right.

00:25:39.620 | (sighs)

00:25:41.620 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

Living a Consistent and Disciplined Life ft. Ben Newman

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