Jiu Jitsu Meme Review with Ryan Hall

00:00:00.000 | This is a review of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu memes with Ryan Hall

00:00:03.760 | that we did after our podcast conversation.

00:00:07.040 | Memes are at once the lowest

00:00:10.040 | and the highest form of achievement

00:00:12.200 | by the collective intelligence of human civilization.

00:00:15.440 | I enjoy forcing brilliant people to be silly,

00:00:18.080 | hence this meme review.

00:00:20.600 | It's brought to you by Babbel, BetterHelp, and Raycon.

00:00:24.320 | Please check out the sponsors in the description

00:00:26.960 | to get a discount and to support this channel.

00:00:30.240 | And now, here's Jiu-Jitsu Meme Review with Ryan Hall.

00:00:34.080 | Another ridiculous thing I have to ask,

00:00:37.000 | I printed out because I'm old school,

00:00:40.320 | some memes for you from Reddit.

00:00:43.600 | It'd be nice if you, what do I, go through 'em

00:00:47.520 | and maybe, what's your favorite number?

00:00:49.920 | - 12.

00:00:50.760 | - Okay, so on a scale of one to 12,

00:00:53.080 | let's give a ranking to these ridiculous memes.

00:00:57.120 | - I support all of these, guys.

00:00:59.560 | Anyone with the mustache-io'd,

00:01:02.520 | like Fisticuffs guy is always funny.

00:01:04.720 | - So any meme that involves-- (laughs)

00:01:07.160 | - That guy's always, whatever's about to come next

00:01:09.160 | is usually pretty entertaining.

00:01:10.960 | It's tough to give a rating without understanding

00:01:12.720 | the universe of other memes that exist here,

00:01:14.560 | but all right, I'll try to do my best.

00:01:16.360 | (laughs)

00:01:17.200 | - Yeah, yeah, you gotta make decisions.

00:01:19.520 | - All right, you're right, you're right.

00:01:20.360 | - So this is sobbing after adult class.

00:01:22.120 | - Sobbing after adult class.

00:01:23.160 | I think, is that man holding on to a piece,

00:01:25.040 | biting a piece of soap?

00:01:26.680 | - That's actually, I don't know if you've seen,

00:01:28.360 | it's, what's that show?

00:01:29.880 | It's Tobias from--

00:01:33.120 | - Oh, yeah.

00:01:34.440 | - Oh, you talking about Arrested Development?

00:01:36.040 | - I think it's Arrested Development, Tobias.

00:01:37.960 | That's what that looks like.

00:01:38.960 | I don't know.

00:01:39.800 | Maybe it's not. - Yeah, it's funny.

00:01:41.880 | All right, I'll give it a four.

00:01:43.800 | (laughs)

00:01:45.040 | - Wow, that's not good.

00:01:46.360 | - No, maybe four's really high, who knows?

00:01:48.120 | - It could be.

00:01:48.960 | You're a tough grader.

00:01:50.280 | - You move so well, practice.

00:01:52.320 | It must be an innate gift, a gift from God.

00:01:54.600 | It's practice.

00:01:55.520 | I'll never understand how some people are so talented.

00:01:57.960 | A mystery, practice.

00:02:00.120 | That one hits relatively close to home.

00:02:02.480 | - That's one of those deep philosophical ones

00:02:04.360 | as opposed to funny.

00:02:05.200 | - Yeah, it's not funny, it's just accurate.

00:02:06.560 | - Yeah, it's accurate.

00:02:07.400 | - Yeah, exactly.

00:02:08.240 | - So would you give good scores for accuracy?

00:02:10.000 | - I'm here for the jokes.

00:02:12.400 | - Okay.

00:02:13.240 | - All right, so I'll give it a four also.

00:02:15.160 | - Do you get this, by the way?

00:02:17.560 | This kind of experience?

00:02:19.240 | - What's that?

00:02:20.080 | - Where a lot of people are like,

00:02:20.920 | "Well, Ryan Hall is just talented."

00:02:22.960 | - Well, I think, I mean, like,

00:02:25.040 | maybe I just don't think that I'm very talented, you know?

00:02:27.920 | So I mean, I just do nothing but martial arts

00:02:30.840 | all day, every day, and have done nothing but that.

00:02:33.080 | - I mean, do you believe anybody can get good?

00:02:35.720 | - No.

00:02:36.560 | - Essentially?

00:02:37.400 | - Oh yeah, it depends.

00:02:38.240 | I think if there's the only talent

00:02:39.320 | that I think I have is discipline and grit.

00:02:43.560 | - That's interesting.

00:02:44.400 | That could be genetic or whatever.

00:02:46.200 | - I think that's a real thing.

00:02:48.240 | But you can't convince me to quit.

00:02:51.640 | But a friend of mine, someone said,

00:02:53.200 | like, "If I can talk you out of your dream,

00:02:55.680 | "you don't want your dream."

00:02:56.680 | And I think that's true.

00:02:57.920 | And where people go, "Oh my, someone so discouraged me."

00:03:00.040 | I'm like, "I hear what you're saying,

00:03:01.360 | "but if you really, really wanna do any X, Y, or Z,

00:03:03.600 | "you will decide to do it."

00:03:04.880 | And I firmly believe that.

00:03:06.000 | And again, whether that's true or not,

00:03:07.520 | it falls under the category of facilitative belief.

00:03:09.920 | And that will probably make you a little bit more,

00:03:12.600 | you know, more of a go-getter in certain regards.

00:03:14.840 | So I guess, yeah.

00:03:17.080 | But I don't think I'm particularly talented.

00:03:19.560 | I just care a lot.

00:03:21.440 | Okay, oh yes, he's employing a sumo geisha

00:03:24.400 | landing into a kiss of salami hold.

00:03:26.960 | Anybody, Judo guy opening his book of terminology.

00:03:30.400 | I think they could actually expand that

00:03:32.080 | to modern jujitsu guy who now tries to use Japanese words

00:03:35.360 | for all sorts of stuff.

00:03:36.400 | - What's the arm lock in that?

00:03:37.600 | I don't even, I'm a Judo person.

00:03:39.040 | - Jujigatami?

00:03:39.880 | - Jujigatami.

00:03:40.700 | Do you use like Japanese terms for techniques?

00:03:43.360 | - Not when I'm speaking to English speakers.

00:03:46.320 | - What do you think about like Eddie Bravo

00:03:48.360 | just renaming every technique?

00:03:50.000 | - I mean, that's weird to me too.

00:03:51.200 | - That's the full range of them.

00:03:52.320 | - Yeah, exactly.

00:03:53.160 | There's the two ends of the spectrum

00:03:54.360 | and you gotta find what's right for you.

00:03:55.800 | You know, you've got--

00:03:57.240 | - What do you call an arm lock?

00:03:58.440 | - An arm lock.

00:03:59.280 | - Okay.

00:04:00.100 | - Yeah, you know the one?

00:04:01.360 | Yeah, come on, man.

00:04:02.720 | No, not that one, the other one.

00:04:03.960 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:04:04.800 | - All right.

00:04:05.640 | But yeah, it's, again, I think that there's a lot of people

00:04:10.360 | gotta do what's right for you,

00:04:11.200 | but there's also, I struggle with the branding

00:04:13.480 | going on that I see in jujitsu.

00:04:14.960 | That's not something I'm super stoked about and not,

00:04:17.400 | you know, but again, if it helps you remember,

00:04:19.240 | then right on.

00:04:20.160 | - One to 12, what does this ridiculous meme get?

00:04:22.520 | - Oh, again, disturbingly accurate.

00:04:25.440 | I'll say six.

00:04:26.280 | - So you're giving props to the accurate.

00:04:29.360 | All right.

00:04:30.800 | I mean, these memes are horrible.

00:04:32.160 | Like, Redd needs to do better.

00:04:33.320 | - Yeah, this one needs to be better.

00:04:34.400 | The best defense against a body triangle is to get really fat

00:04:36.920 | that is a strong defense.

00:04:38.520 | Let's all agree with that.

00:04:40.360 | I'll give that one a two.

00:04:41.960 | - I think I only pick memes that get like several hundred

00:04:44.880 | and a half votes.

00:04:46.360 | So these, at least Redditors thought they're of value.

00:04:50.840 | - Figured this would be the best way

00:04:52.240 | to get rid of coronavirus.

00:04:54.480 | - Put a blue belt on that.

00:04:55.480 | - I like that one.

00:04:56.360 | - Oh, okay.

00:04:57.280 | - What do you get?

00:04:58.120 | - I was about to say that went over my head.

00:04:59.640 | - 'Cause everybody quits after they get a blue belt.

00:05:01.280 | - Yeah, yeah, I'm an idiot.

00:05:02.780 | (laughing)

00:05:04.880 | I was like, why is teaching martial arts gonna help?

00:05:08.520 | - So you get, 'cause you don't get it,

00:05:10.400 | what that's like an undefined score.

00:05:12.200 | - I'll give it a 12.

00:05:13.040 | - I think it's an explanation.

00:05:13.880 | - It's way smarter than that.

00:05:15.320 | - John, what do you give that one?

00:05:16.880 | You got a 12.

00:05:18.520 | - I'll say a 10.

00:05:20.720 | - I'll give it, I would give that one a 10, I think.

00:05:22.920 | Yeah, I like that one.

00:05:24.560 | - After two hours of hard sparring, you look good.

00:05:27.280 | After 10 minutes of cardio, you look good.

00:05:30.240 | - Yeah, you look like that.

00:05:31.280 | That's a...

00:05:32.600 | - No, that's you.

00:05:34.400 | (laughing)

00:05:35.240 | - I think it's the reverse.

00:05:36.080 | - Well, I would have to do cardio

00:05:38.000 | in order to understand that.

00:05:39.520 | - Yeah, have you ever done cardio?

00:05:40.360 | - Again, it goes well over my head.

00:05:42.800 | I ran once.

00:05:43.880 | - You, what, for a bus?

00:05:46.160 | - Running breeds cowardice.

00:05:47.200 | I don't wanna do it, but yeah.

00:05:49.680 | (laughing)

00:05:50.880 | Don't wanna get too involved, but yeah.

00:05:53.760 | - So yeah, so maybe you can review this later

00:05:57.160 | once you actually try cardio.

00:05:58.400 | - Exactly.

00:05:59.240 | - Yeah.

00:06:00.080 | - All right.

00:06:01.480 | When you get submitted 46 times,

00:06:03.160 | but none of the submissions are IBJJF legal.

00:06:05.560 | - I, I mean, yeah.

00:06:08.520 | - I gotta say, I gotta say that.

00:06:09.520 | Gonna give that a two.

00:06:11.560 | - Okay, all right.

00:06:12.480 | I thought you were going to the negatives, but it's good.

00:06:14.560 | - Yeah, about to say, was that appropriate?

00:06:17.360 | Negative two.

00:06:18.480 | I was trying to be charitable.

00:06:20.400 | All right, me who got promoted during COVID

00:06:22.560 | waiting to actually roll in my new belt.

00:06:24.600 | - People thought these were funny?

00:06:29.240 | - Yeah.

00:06:30.080 | (laughing)

00:06:31.760 | - I'll take that as a one.

00:06:33.560 | - Yeah, I'll take that as a one.

00:06:35.720 | All right, how 90% of BJJ instructionals.

00:06:37.760 | This one also hits close to home.

00:06:39.680 | I gotta give it a six for the accuracy.

00:06:42.200 | - Okay, guys, that's, I can't, I do the same thing.

00:06:45.880 | - By the way, I think you're the next,

00:06:47.680 | you're instructional is in the next meme.

00:06:49.800 | So just so you know.

00:06:51.120 | - Are they really?

00:06:51.960 | Oh man, okay, I don't want to look at it yet.

00:06:54.000 | I'm sure they're saying something funny about me

00:06:55.920 | that's entirely accurate.

00:06:57.080 | So 90%, let's give that a six.

00:07:00.440 | - So this is like an old school meme

00:07:04.200 | where you insert anything overly expensive.

00:07:08.200 | - Overly expensive during an economic crisis.

00:07:10.400 | Food, data, rent, half-guard DVDs, utility, 150,

00:07:15.240 | someone who's good at the economy,

00:07:16.360 | please help me budget this.

00:07:17.360 | My family is dying.

00:07:19.320 | All right, I'm gonna give that an 11.

00:07:21.440 | Out on a scale of 12.

00:07:23.120 | - The comment is like, spend less on half-guard DVDs.

00:07:25.560 | - No, yeah, no.

00:07:27.280 | I like it, that's solid.

00:07:30.200 | All right, what the guy who murders you on the mat

00:07:32.440 | looks like outside the, that's absolutely accurate.

00:07:35.680 | If you guys have ever met Paul Schreiner,

00:07:37.680 | you'd know exactly what's going on.

00:07:40.480 | Dude, I still remember my first day at Jiu-Jitsu,

00:07:44.640 | and this is where Jiu-Jitsu became

00:07:46.240 | like the coolest thing in the universe to me,

00:07:48.520 | was there was a guy named Eric Ryerson,

00:07:50.520 | nice guy, he was at Ronin Athletics in New York,

00:07:53.760 | this was 2004, and he was a white belt.

00:07:57.080 | He was probably 130 pounds soaking wet,

00:08:00.360 | and he was a white belt.

00:08:01.960 | And again, he didn't hold a banner for tough guy,

00:08:05.880 | certainly not at that time,

00:08:06.760 | but you know, like, I'll try to fight you.

00:08:08.920 | And just getting absolutely mollywopped by this guy,

00:08:13.080 | and then going, holy crap,

00:08:15.160 | this is literally the coolest thing

00:08:17.200 | I've ever experienced in my life, this is like magic.

00:08:19.640 | And it's not even like, oh, this guy's a black belt

00:08:21.480 | something or other, and he's been at it for X time.

00:08:23.920 | How long you been training for?

00:08:24.920 | I don't know, like eight months,

00:08:25.760 | I'm like, you have all my money.

00:08:27.480 | Like, you're never gonna get rid of me.

00:08:28.920 | And yeah. - That's a magic moment,

00:08:30.480 | when you realize that the technique matters,

00:08:33.800 | it's fascinating.

00:08:34.680 | - Yeah, well, he basically, I'm sure he wrote,

00:08:36.680 | if the bird scooter had existed at the time,

00:08:39.680 | Eric would have transported himself to the gym,

00:08:42.320 | and to and from the gym on that,

00:08:43.600 | so I'm gonna give that also an 11.

00:08:45.080 | - Stache too. - The stache.

00:08:46.240 | He didn't have the stache,

00:08:47.760 | but I don't think that was in at the time.

00:08:49.040 | - Yeah, it wasn't essential.

00:08:50.040 | - Yeah, when your teammate is losing the match,

00:08:51.780 | but you promised you would record the whole thing.

00:08:53.880 | Eh, I'm gonna give that a one.

00:08:55.360 | - I like the old school digital camera.

00:08:56.840 | - Yeah, that is true, I remember that, that actually.

00:08:59.320 | - That was a thing before smartphones.

00:09:01.600 | - Did you ever kick your ass so bad,

00:09:03.680 | you drive the speed limit home with no music playing?

00:09:05.720 | - Yes, absolutely.

00:09:07.520 | - How often have you, have you felt that recently?

00:09:12.480 | I remember feeling that often,

00:09:14.000 | I usually would take the bus home,

00:09:17.360 | and I would just sit there, no music, no podcast,

00:09:21.200 | it was just this sad feeling, overcoming your body,

00:09:25.040 | life is meaningless.

00:09:27.720 | - I remember when I first met Marillo Santana,

00:09:29.880 | like it was yesterday, it was the winter,

00:09:33.760 | 'cause he has family that lives in the DC area,

00:09:37.200 | and we had our school in Arlington,

00:09:39.560 | and Marillo has a beard out to here,

00:09:42.440 | and he's wearing a Fidel Castro looking hat,

00:09:45.320 | and I'd never met him, he was in ADCC,

00:09:47.440 | and this was right after ADCC 2009,

00:09:49.000 | so this was December 2009,

00:09:51.320 | and it's snowing, and he's standing outside the gym,

00:09:55.720 | I'm like, "Who the hell's that?"

00:09:57.600 | And I walk up, I'm like, "Hey man, can I help you?"

00:10:00.840 | He's like, "Hey, got a trade with you?"

00:10:02.920 | I'm like, "Are you Marillo Santana?"

00:10:04.680 | "Yeah."

00:10:05.520 | I'm like, "All right."

00:10:06.360 | And he comes upstairs, and super polite, nice guy,

00:10:10.240 | and anyway, so I'd done the 66 kilos, and he did 77.

00:10:14.960 | He says, "Hey, you wanna roll?"

00:10:15.960 | I'm like, "Yeah."

00:10:16.800 | And Marillo's had the world's deepest voice

00:10:18.560 | since he was a child, and I believe he had a beard

00:10:20.560 | when he came out of the womb,

00:10:21.800 | but anyway, we're training, and I'm like,

00:10:24.960 | "All right, not that good, but I'd done ADCC that year,

00:10:29.080 | "I got third, I'd beaten some good guys,

00:10:30.980 | "had a really close match with Leo Vieira

00:10:32.680 | "that I got screwed in, thank you, referees at ADCC."

00:10:35.560 | That was decent at the time, at least,

00:10:37.080 | and you get the feeling where I'm like,

00:10:39.320 | I can't fully understand what's going on here,

00:10:41.080 | but I feel like I'm being let off the hook.

00:10:42.640 | I'm like, "I'm not escaping this."

00:10:45.040 | I'm like, "Hey man, you can beat me up."

00:10:46.400 | You know, he's like, "Oh, I'm trying."

00:10:47.680 | I'm like, "No, come on."

00:10:49.200 | He's like, "All right, we're gonna try a little harder."

00:10:50.840 | And he's not being like, he's just being nice.

00:10:53.240 | I remember I had like a thousand yard stare

00:10:57.320 | at the wall at home that night forever,

00:11:00.920 | 'cause it wasn't like, "Oh, people can't beat me up."

00:11:02.600 | There were plenty of people who'd beat me up,

00:11:03.440 | particularly at that time, but it's like,

00:11:06.000 | I think he passed my guard like 35 times.

00:11:08.240 | And that was something that wasn't happening,

00:11:10.400 | like for the most part.

00:11:11.240 | And I'm like, "It's you to rest."

00:11:12.080 | Oh, he's a little bigger.

00:11:12.920 | Yeah, that wasn't the problem.

00:11:14.000 | It was a skill thing, and just going like,

00:11:16.880 | "What was that?"

00:11:19.720 | And it wasn't like, "Oh, I get to play.

00:11:21.100 | "We're gonna both train and he's gonna win."

00:11:23.800 | I'm like, "We're not training.

00:11:25.880 | "I'm just getting like chucked around like a four-year-old.

00:11:29.080 | "I don't know any jiu-jitsu.

00:11:30.520 | "I need to reevaluate my entire life."

00:11:33.840 | Murillo is a fantastic instructor and trainer

00:11:37.280 | in addition to being a great competitor

00:11:39.000 | and runs Unity Jiu-Jitsu in New York City.

00:11:41.680 | I feel lucky to have trained with many

00:11:43.200 | of the very, very best guys in the world,

00:11:45.760 | but man, Murillo's as good as anyone I've ever met,

00:11:50.560 | as good as anyone I've ever met.

00:11:52.040 | Absolutely fantastic.

00:11:53.640 | Just a fantastic knowledge of jiu-jitsu.

00:11:55.640 | And I watched it, I remember just training periodically

00:11:58.320 | over time, over time, over time.

00:12:00.000 | I would get better, the gap would stay the same.

00:12:02.400 | And it was pretty cool and it was inspiring.

00:12:04.920 | It really taught me a lot.

00:12:05.760 | It's the only way you get better, right?

00:12:07.000 | So yes, I know exactly about.

00:12:08.440 | So this-

00:12:09.280 | I watched other people do the same thing.

00:12:10.120 | We would train and like, I don't wanna use them.

00:12:12.640 | People that everybody would know.

00:12:14.180 | We would sit in the back of my like beater Honda Civic

00:12:16.800 | that I had at that time

00:12:18.240 | and watch them stare out the window like this.

00:12:21.360 | (laughing)

00:12:22.560 | Yeah.

00:12:23.380 | And just like, "Yep, been there, buddy."

00:12:25.040 | (laughing)

00:12:27.040 | Like a tear slowly-

00:12:28.360 | Oh yeah, exactly, exactly.

00:12:29.720 | Just the one.

00:12:30.560 | (laughing)

00:12:31.720 | Yeah, okay.

00:12:32.560 | So this is another one of those memes

00:12:33.960 | that's just entirely accurate.

00:12:35.480 | Yeah, so I'll give that an 11.

00:12:36.640 | All right.

00:12:37.480 | All right, guy watching UFC.

00:12:38.640 | I don't get all this ground stuff.

00:12:40.080 | I wish I knew an expert who could explain it to me.

00:12:42.480 | Two stripe white belt.

00:12:43.800 | Yeah, that's also accurate.

00:12:46.240 | Little less funny, but I don't know enough

00:12:49.400 | about SpongeBob SquarePants to be able to like understand

00:12:52.120 | what that expression means.

00:12:53.120 | Yeah, but-

00:12:54.520 | 'Cause usually it would involve like, you know,

00:12:56.080 | like Roger Gracie standing right there

00:12:57.520 | and I'm like, "Easy, Roger, I got this."

00:12:59.120 | Yeah, yeah.

00:12:59.960 | And I'm like, "Step in front of him."

00:13:00.800 | True, true.

00:13:01.880 | Yeah, there's a-

00:13:03.560 | I'll give that a seven.

00:13:05.160 | That's a seven.

00:13:06.000 | That's a strong place to end.

00:13:07.720 | I feel that way.

00:13:08.560 | (laughing)

00:13:09.560 | Right, thanks for putting up with the ridiculous requests.

00:13:11.680 | No, thank you so much.

00:13:12.520 | On meme review.

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Jiu Jitsu Meme Review with Ryan Hall

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