Everyday Educator - We Gather Together—Then What?
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:03.240 | - Welcome friends to this episode
00:00:05.620 | of the "Everyday Educator" podcast.
00:00:08.320 | I'm your host, Lisa Bailey,
00:00:10.080 | and I'm excited to spend some time with you today
00:00:13.460 | as we encourage one another, learn together,
00:00:17.080 | and ponder the delights and challenges
00:00:19.840 | that make homeschooling the adventure of a lifetime.
00:00:23.400 | Whether you're just considering
00:00:25.320 | this homeschooling possibility
00:00:27.200 | or deep into the daily delight of family learning,
00:00:31.880 | I believe you'll enjoy thinking along with us.
00:00:35.220 | But don't forget,
00:00:36.520 | although this online community is awesome,
00:00:39.880 | you'll find even closer support in a local CC community.
00:00:44.880 | So go to classicalconversations.com
00:00:49.400 | and find a community near you today.
00:00:54.160 | Well, listeners, welcome to this episode of "Everyday Educator."
00:00:58.840 | We are hurtling into the holiday season.
00:01:03.480 | I know that you are probably feeling
00:01:06.800 | the pace of life speed up for you.
00:01:10.320 | The holidays are almost upon us.
00:01:12.560 | Next week is Thanksgiving.
00:01:14.440 | Well, you'll be hearing this,
00:01:15.520 | and it will be Thanksgiving week.
00:01:17.880 | And I don't know about you.
00:01:19.080 | I know for me, once mid-November arrives,
00:01:23.480 | it feels like I am just in the headlong plunge
00:01:27.000 | toward Christmas.
00:01:28.040 | And as a homeschool mom,
00:01:30.960 | I love, love, love spending days with my girls.
00:01:34.760 | I loved it when they were little,
00:01:36.480 | and when they were older,
00:01:37.680 | I loved building those holiday memories,
00:01:40.760 | even while we still had chores to do
00:01:44.320 | and schoolwork to finish,
00:01:46.640 | and with the holidays, guests to welcome.
00:01:50.380 | I suspect that you're in the same boat.
00:01:53.400 | So what is a family to do?
00:01:56.520 | How can we?
00:01:57.800 | And you know what?
00:01:59.000 | I think these thoughts every year.
00:02:01.040 | One year, I'm gonna conquer it, I believe.
00:02:03.320 | I fully believe.
00:02:04.440 | How can we simplify life in a busy time,
00:02:09.440 | celebrating with everyone while we do life together?
00:02:14.040 | So today, my dear friend Amy Jones is with me,
00:02:18.000 | and we're gonna talk through this idea
00:02:21.240 | of how can we make the holidays
00:02:24.960 | all that we desire it to be
00:02:27.600 | while we're still getting stuff done
00:02:29.800 | and we are making our guests feel welcome
00:02:32.840 | and a part of our family?
00:02:34.960 | Amy, thank you so much for helping me think about this.
00:02:38.080 | - Oh man, this is gonna be so much fun, Lisa.
00:02:40.880 | It just has brought back so many good
00:02:43.520 | and interesting memories.
00:02:45.840 | - Yes, I know, I was gonna say,
00:02:47.960 | it has brought back, as I've pondered it,
00:02:50.120 | it has brought about good memories
00:02:51.600 | and memories that I think,
00:02:52.600 | yeah, that was a dark day in the Bailey household.
00:02:56.920 | But you know what?
00:02:58.840 | God lets us redeem our mistakes.
00:03:01.600 | And so hopefully, listeners,
00:03:03.680 | you will learn from mistakes
00:03:05.040 | that Amy and I have made down the road.
00:03:08.640 | Let me ask you, Amy,
00:03:09.920 | what were the holidays like with little kids at home?
00:03:14.920 | - Oh, well, it was, you know, pretty chaotic.
00:03:18.960 | As most of it, honestly,
00:03:20.960 | it was just another little bit of more chaos
00:03:24.200 | than home schooling.
00:03:25.200 | (laughing)
00:03:27.120 | I never felt like my days were just super smooth
00:03:30.200 | and peaceful anyway,
00:03:31.560 | but the holidays just added another layer
00:03:36.000 | of what I, when I was really wrestling with the holidays,
00:03:40.920 | is more stuff to do, you know?
00:03:44.240 | - Uh-huh.
00:03:45.080 | - Instead of, I think I learned pretty early
00:03:48.520 | that I had to make up a space
00:03:53.520 | that where the holidays
00:03:55.840 | or a place that might,
00:03:59.160 | we, holidays, holy days,
00:04:01.440 | days that we could actually celebrate
00:04:04.240 | instead of being run here hither and yon.
00:04:09.120 | And so it was busy,
00:04:12.440 | but there's always excitement, you know?
00:04:16.480 | The children had so much excitement.
00:04:18.680 | And just, I was thinking,
00:04:21.000 | especially when you have a five or six-year-old,
00:04:23.680 | you know, they've only gone through Christmas,
00:04:26.320 | maybe remembering it two or three times.
00:04:29.000 | It's not a tradition for them.
00:04:30.680 | - Right, right.
00:04:31.880 | - Everything is like this wonder,
00:04:33.760 | like, "Oh, we're gonna put up,"
00:04:35.680 | just simple things, you know,
00:04:37.200 | just decorations in the store or lights
00:04:40.600 | or that sort of thing.
00:04:41.920 | Just being reminded that this is really new for them.
00:04:45.280 | And just celebrating that newness with them.
00:04:48.840 | And then, you know, as the kids got older,
00:04:51.440 | they kind of took on their own,
00:04:53.680 | like they had their own Christmas events
00:04:55.680 | or expectations with friends and that sort of thing.
00:04:59.520 | So, you know, you kind of morph your Christmas
00:05:04.520 | with your family.
00:05:06.040 | You grow with your family.
00:05:08.840 | Yes, definitely excitement,
00:05:10.920 | definitely busyness,
00:05:12.480 | and a lot of fun, a lot of expectations that we had.
00:05:16.800 | - Yes, that's really true.
00:05:19.800 | And sometimes my expectations,
00:05:22.360 | 'cause you made a really excellent point
00:05:24.400 | that oddly I've never really thought about.
00:05:27.760 | I have to say that when our kids are really young,
00:05:32.520 | tradition is not really a thing for them, okay?
00:05:36.120 | Because if they are only four or five years old,
00:05:38.720 | they only remember probably two Christmases,
00:05:42.840 | maybe three if they had words really early.
00:05:46.200 | And so tradition,
00:05:47.720 | we get hung up on doing the traditional things for our kids,
00:05:51.720 | but really we are the only ones that remember
00:05:55.400 | that this is a tradition.
00:05:57.000 | And so I really like that,
00:05:59.040 | that we should take a cue from our kids
00:06:02.240 | and just find the wonder in the simple things that we do.
00:06:07.720 | I know that my daughter who is grown and married
00:06:12.720 | and she has two little children of her own,
00:06:15.040 | she decided that this year
00:06:16.800 | she was putting her tree up early.
00:06:18.880 | It's like, it's so like,
00:06:20.880 | I never do it before Thanksgiving.
00:06:22.960 | And she's like, "Mom, then just don't come here."
00:06:25.720 | And so she put it up and she sent me the sweetest video
00:06:29.920 | because my grandson is almost two and a half
00:06:33.600 | and they put up the tree and he came in and he saw it
00:06:37.480 | and he was so excited
00:06:39.560 | because he remembers it a little bit from last year.
00:06:42.160 | He ran over and he found his nutcracker ornament.
00:06:46.520 | And then Sarah said she turned around
00:06:48.520 | and the next thing she knew he was grabbing,
00:06:51.440 | Grace is about seven and a half months old.
00:06:54.200 | He was dragging her little bouncy chair
00:06:58.000 | over to the tree and turning it.
00:07:00.640 | And he was saying, "Look, Grace, look,
00:07:03.080 | it's the Christmas tree."
00:07:05.080 | And so he was sharing the wonder of,
00:07:07.920 | and it had nothing on it but lights
00:07:10.040 | and his one little ornament.
00:07:12.840 | So I think it's a really good reminder
00:07:15.800 | that beautiful things are simple things to our kids.
00:07:20.800 | Let me ask you this.
00:07:22.840 | 'Cause I know, I mean, it's crazy now.
00:07:25.840 | I went in the store the other day
00:07:27.920 | and like the day after Halloween,
00:07:30.080 | all the Christmas candy was out.
00:07:31.880 | It's crazy.
00:07:33.040 | So, I mean, there's all kinds of holiday cues around
00:07:37.280 | that make our kids think,
00:07:38.720 | "Woohoo, it's holiday playtime now."
00:07:42.000 | But we're all still trying to finish out our fall semester.
00:07:46.280 | We're trying to finish strong and finish well.
00:07:49.600 | Did you keep doing schoolwork over the holidays?
00:07:52.520 | Like between Thanksgiving and Christmas, did you do school?
00:07:56.080 | - I think this was really helpful for me
00:08:00.000 | because at first I was just reaction like,
00:08:03.880 | "Oh, we're gonna do school until,"
00:08:05.680 | I was very mindset, "Until the 15th."
00:08:08.760 | And then-
00:08:09.600 | - Yes.
00:08:10.440 | - And I realized that that was not really healthy
00:08:15.400 | for our family that my husband teaches.
00:08:19.800 | So that's like a heavy grading period.
00:08:23.520 | So he's distracted and he's tired.
00:08:26.280 | And holidays, you take on another set of tasks
00:08:31.280 | that you enjoy doing as a mom of,
00:08:36.400 | or I don't know about you, our traditional homes,
00:08:39.760 | you're probably the one that sort of plans out
00:08:44.760 | the month of December.
00:08:47.680 | And I just realized that was,
00:08:50.240 | that was, and a wiser person has told me
00:08:54.160 | that is a significant part of nurturing your home.
00:08:59.160 | So please allow time for that.
00:09:01.840 | So the best thing I did was to actually say,
00:09:06.160 | "This is when we stop."
00:09:08.240 | And not do this wiggly kind of like,
00:09:10.960 | "Oh, we'll do a math lesson here
00:09:12.680 | and we'll do a, you know, read that book."
00:09:14.560 | And so, nope, we're finished with school.
00:09:18.000 | Usually at the end of November, we took a few weeks.
00:09:22.200 | Now, as they went through high school
00:09:24.840 | and they handled their,
00:09:26.480 | they had an idea of what they wanted to do, of course,
00:09:29.600 | and their school does go.
00:09:31.960 | But for, I just shifted and said,
00:09:34.000 | "Okay, for several years, we made our quote school,
00:09:39.000 | like what are Christmas traditions?"
00:09:40.960 | One year we did other countries as we'd been in CC.
00:09:45.880 | So, you know, what did they do in Switzerland
00:09:48.400 | and what do they do?
00:09:49.440 | And, you know, get their shoes out and, you know,
00:09:52.720 | eat different foods.
00:09:53.760 | You know, we, I kind of saw that as an opportunity
00:09:57.680 | to really understand,
00:10:01.440 | to incorporate just the beauty of the world,
00:10:06.080 | you know, realize opportunities to be outside,
00:10:09.440 | to visit people, to minister to people.
00:10:13.360 | There were opportunities within our church
00:10:15.120 | of going to visit a nursing home.
00:10:17.360 | We did a few years, we did just ringing
00:10:20.000 | those simple little bells and singing.
00:10:22.480 | And those things do require time.
00:10:27.480 | And that means something else needs to be put aside.
00:10:31.960 | And that doesn't mean I'm a failure.
00:10:34.240 | It just means, but somehow having it in my mind
00:10:37.840 | that that is my intent of doing it.
00:10:40.560 | I've done it badly where I've just like, you know,
00:10:43.280 | kicking against the goads, we're gonna do school.
00:10:45.520 | - Right, right.
00:10:46.800 | - No one's happy.
00:10:47.680 | I'm not happy.
00:10:48.520 | I feel like I've failed because I didn't,
00:10:50.880 | I thought, oh dear, you know,
00:10:52.560 | we're gonna have to go to this service project now.
00:10:54.920 | It's gonna take off.
00:10:55.760 | - Right, yes.
00:10:56.600 | - It's kind of ridiculous.
00:10:58.320 | So I just realized this is a gift to our family
00:11:01.640 | and not be driven by the curriculum,
00:11:06.000 | but actually say, nope, this is our holiday
00:11:08.080 | and this is how we're gonna shift focus
00:11:10.000 | and spend time with the Lord.
00:11:12.000 | And like even the Christmas story,
00:11:14.520 | not giving things short shrift
00:11:16.520 | because I'm too preoccupied with what I think,
00:11:21.360 | quote, I think should be my agenda.
00:11:25.120 | So yes, we took a significant time off at Christmas
00:11:29.600 | and I would encourage people to take time off
00:11:32.200 | after Christmas and help people kind of onboard
00:11:36.200 | into the school year.
00:11:39.280 | They, usually they're overtired and they need rest.
00:11:42.600 | - Yes, oh, that's so true.
00:11:44.720 | You have said so many good things, Amy.
00:11:49.640 | I wanna highlight them
00:11:50.760 | 'cause I don't want us to just gloss over.
00:11:53.400 | One of the best things that you just said was,
00:11:58.200 | you know, we can be intentional about taking a break.
00:12:04.040 | I think that so often we are not satisfied
00:12:11.440 | because we haven't fully embraced one or the other.
00:12:15.000 | Either do school, you know, do your assignments,
00:12:18.680 | continue with your math lesson
00:12:22.240 | or continue with your geography practice
00:12:24.680 | or continue with your memorization facts
00:12:29.080 | or stop and do something totally different.
00:12:34.080 | Do Christmas traditions around the world.
00:12:37.600 | You know, bake a nativity out of clay or gingerbread.
00:12:41.520 | Embrace something completely different.
00:12:44.560 | And 'cause you're right.
00:12:46.560 | When we sort of do school and we sort of take a break,
00:12:51.560 | we fully don't enjoy it.
00:12:55.400 | - Right, that's exactly right.
00:12:56.240 | - That's been my experience.
00:12:57.520 | I don't enjoy the break and I don't feel good
00:13:00.240 | about the quote, unquote, work that we do.
00:13:03.960 | So it is really okay to take a break.
00:13:07.440 | The times that people are the most disappointed
00:13:10.120 | I have discovered are when their expectations aren't met.
00:13:15.120 | And so if we expect that we're gonna get just as much done
00:13:20.320 | as we always do in that run up to the holidays,
00:13:24.120 | then we're doomed because all kinds of things come up,
00:13:27.960 | all kinds of invitations, all kinds of special services
00:13:32.080 | or special projects or visitors or invitations come
00:13:36.480 | and we just are left feeling like we're a failure.
00:13:41.480 | - Yeah, and we really do miss opportunities.
00:13:45.760 | - Yes.
00:13:46.600 | - We don't, the lack of flexibility, you know,
00:13:49.880 | we've been, when we become so rigid about what must happen,
00:13:54.880 | you know, when there is some serendipitous event
00:13:59.480 | or like even with Gideon spinning,
00:14:03.760 | like everyone just enjoying the tree, you know,
00:14:06.760 | it's not just about, okay, it's up, click, check, done.
00:14:10.240 | - Yeah, yes, exactly.
00:14:11.320 | - Let's sit and have some hot cocoa today.
00:14:13.560 | And unless, and just, and I think asking,
00:14:17.760 | especially when the kids get a little older,
00:14:19.720 | like 10 or 11, just being very conscious
00:14:23.760 | that they have their own expectations for Christmas.
00:14:27.360 | It's not just gifts.
00:14:28.760 | It could be maybe some expectations
00:14:31.800 | of just being with other people or being quiet.
00:14:36.720 | I have a quiet one who likes,
00:14:38.760 | he doesn't like a lot of activity.
00:14:41.560 | I had another one who is super social
00:14:44.200 | and wanted people in all the time.
00:14:45.840 | And just being very mindful.
00:14:49.240 | This is not, I think the one thing I learned
00:14:52.600 | that this is not my Christmas.
00:14:55.280 | It's just like when I learned, this is not my house.
00:14:58.400 | - Yes.
00:14:59.240 | - This is our Christmas.
00:15:02.840 | This is our home and to be very open with the Lord
00:15:07.840 | and recognizing he has in mind, he shepherds us.
00:15:14.640 | He has in mind a Christmas he would like to offer us.
00:15:21.720 | He has in mind people he would like for us to be with.
00:15:25.880 | He has times of prayer, maybe a meaningful conversation,
00:15:30.720 | maybe some fun activity that's funny
00:15:33.800 | and brings us together or makes a memory.
00:15:37.080 | He has that eternal perspective that I don't have.
00:15:41.600 | So I think just at times just opening my hands
00:15:45.960 | and saying when things, especially that usually happens
00:15:49.440 | when things don't go my way.
00:15:51.280 | - Yes, yes.
00:15:52.720 | - Open my hands and say, how can I receive from you
00:15:56.560 | what you have for us this Christmas?
00:16:00.360 | Because it is such a meaningful time
00:16:04.520 | and I just tend to be a cluttered person
00:16:09.520 | to clutter our life with activity
00:16:14.720 | and what I think is better
00:16:17.680 | instead of just being open to the Lord
00:16:20.560 | and really trusting him with Christmas.
00:16:23.360 | Christmas comes with pressures, financial pressures.
00:16:27.400 | It comes with pressures with maybe it highlights,
00:16:31.200 | unfortunately in my family at times it did,
00:16:33.920 | family disagreements or stresses within families,
00:16:38.920 | especially extended families.
00:16:41.800 | It's not the Hallmark Christmas movie.
00:16:44.240 | Sometimes people are depressed.
00:16:47.800 | They struggle with anxiety at Christmas.
00:16:49.920 | They get lonely at Christmas.
00:16:51.600 | So to be mindful as a person in the home, as a mom,
00:16:56.600 | to be mindful that we have the privilege
00:17:01.920 | of just being conscious, a person conscious of that
00:17:06.920 | and bringing that to prayer.
00:17:11.840 | Instead of being afraid or anxious or irritated
00:17:17.600 | or short tempered to really say,
00:17:21.840 | Lord, you have crafted our family.
00:17:25.520 | You've crafted this event.
00:17:26.960 | Would you please help us during the season to follow you
00:17:30.720 | and be very conscious of watching for how he brings delight.
00:17:35.720 | It's always more than we expect.
00:17:39.000 | - Yes, yes.
00:17:39.840 | - So we can trust him.
00:17:41.720 | So I think when I settled that.
00:17:45.320 | - Right, well, because that's the,
00:17:49.760 | when we fill our minds with all these expectations
00:17:54.320 | of what we're gonna do and how it's gonna look
00:17:56.920 | and how it's gonna turn out
00:17:58.160 | and how people are going to love it.
00:18:00.520 | And then it turns out that they don't love it
00:18:02.880 | or it didn't work out that way.
00:18:04.880 | Or we never got around to fill in the blank.
00:18:07.440 | Then we're disappointed.
00:18:09.520 | And as moms, a lot of times we're the thermostat.
00:18:14.720 | And so when we're disappointed or anxious
00:18:18.160 | or even angry about how something worked or didn't work,
00:18:23.160 | then that gets passed on to the people in our house.
00:18:27.120 | And that leads me to something
00:18:28.280 | I really wanted to ask you about.
00:18:30.480 | The holidays, it's usually not just our family
00:18:36.480 | that we have around.
00:18:38.240 | The holidays are sometimes compounded by the fact
00:18:42.000 | that we're adding people to our home.
00:18:45.200 | We have guests, we have visitors that are coming in.
00:18:49.760 | And sometimes it's grandma and grandpa
00:18:53.400 | and we're so excited to see them.
00:18:54.960 | Or it's people that we see fairly often,
00:18:59.080 | but this is a special circumstance.
00:19:01.760 | But sometimes the guests are people we don't know well.
00:19:05.660 | Or especially think about it for your children.
00:19:10.000 | Maybe they've only seen great-aunt Martha
00:19:14.600 | twice in their four years and they only remember it once
00:19:18.620 | and it wasn't that much fun the first time.
00:19:21.920 | Or for a lot of our families, they are blended families.
00:19:26.920 | And so maybe you're seeing step-siblings
00:19:30.960 | or step-grandparents or half-sisters or brothers
00:19:35.960 | that you don't know well.
00:19:39.520 | How can we manage that?
00:19:43.240 | How do you draw guests into your family rhythms?
00:19:48.240 | Even if you've come to grips with your holiday expectations
00:19:53.880 | and your family is just happy to find the serendipity moment
00:19:57.520 | and everybody's good.
00:19:58.820 | And you have made a commitment not to overschedule
00:20:05.360 | and overdo and plan too much.
00:20:09.040 | And you're just gonna keep it simple.
00:20:11.040 | How do you draw your guests into that?
00:20:13.840 | - I think, first of all, to know that Christ
00:20:20.080 | says we are light and we are salt.
00:20:25.920 | So that doesn't disappear when Christmas comes.
00:20:30.920 | And two, I think, like you said, as a mom,
00:20:36.780 | you're setting a tone.
00:20:38.660 | And so we practice our disciplines of thankfulness
00:20:43.660 | instead of complaining.
00:20:47.740 | That we practice faith and trust
00:20:49.900 | instead of being anxious and worried.
00:20:52.220 | So-and-so always complains about the whatever.
00:20:55.080 | We have to take care of, this is difficult.
00:21:00.060 | This takes up time.
00:21:02.180 | They're just things that we have to plan for.
00:21:04.200 | So I think for us to just incorporate them
00:21:09.200 | just like you would.
00:21:12.100 | I keep thinking of the Israelites
00:21:14.380 | when they would celebrate Passover.
00:21:16.820 | And if there was an alien, I think it says,
00:21:21.100 | calls a refugee or a servant in your home,
00:21:25.380 | that they were invited to the table.
00:21:28.060 | They were invited into the tradition.
00:21:31.580 | They were invited into the story of Christ.
00:21:36.540 | And so I think for us, not to say,
00:21:41.300 | well, even if you have an unbelieving family members,
00:21:45.220 | that just to be really natural and invite them
00:21:50.020 | into all the pieces and parts of tradition,
00:21:54.360 | allowing them to be there.
00:21:56.460 | Or not if they feel uncomfortable,
00:21:57.940 | 'cause of course you don't wanna beat people over the head.
00:22:00.380 | But I feel like we tried to, we prayed at meals.
00:22:05.340 | We just prayed.
00:22:06.520 | We read the Christmas story.
00:22:07.980 | We read the night before Christmas.
00:22:11.020 | We ate candy and just being inviting.
00:22:15.460 | You are welcome at our table.
00:22:17.740 | And you are, and we wanna hear also listening
00:22:21.580 | to tell us a story about a Christmas you enjoyed
00:22:26.380 | or what are traditions.
00:22:28.140 | If there's something, well, they enjoy,
00:22:30.500 | like they always like in the South,
00:22:32.500 | it's a wet dressing or dry dressing.
00:22:34.380 | Well, if they're a wet dressing person,
00:22:36.700 | make a pan of wet dressing.
00:22:38.500 | Just make efforts to bridge maybe or mend fences.
00:22:43.500 | If there needs to be some fences mended,
00:22:49.540 | but also just welcoming people to the table.
00:22:53.620 | And if you recognize there's someone
00:22:57.620 | that is kind of feeling a little down
00:23:00.800 | or as people do or a little left out,
00:23:05.220 | invite them to be drawn in,
00:23:08.140 | but also give them the space to just be there.
00:23:11.700 | And I think that just prayer always.
00:23:16.700 | And I think one of the things that was a struggle for me
00:23:20.100 | is I was just preoccupied and that's when I missed.
00:23:25.660 | I mean, I could think back,
00:23:26.820 | I can remember conversations I missed
00:23:31.380 | that they were giving me all sorts of hints,
00:23:33.620 | and I was too busy, making a sugar cookie or something.
00:23:39.580 | - Yes, yes.
00:23:40.420 | - And I didn't stop and look at them.
00:23:44.580 | And that happens with your kids.
00:23:46.380 | I think what I noticed, especially with my sons,
00:23:49.700 | they're not gonna demand my attention.
00:23:52.580 | They're going to-
00:23:53.420 | - They do, if they have to work too hard for it,
00:23:55.980 | they might give up.
00:23:56.860 | - It's not, well, I don't.
00:23:59.020 | And you know, so-
00:23:59.840 | - You don't.
00:24:00.680 | - I don't, and so I don't expect them to come after me.
00:24:04.100 | And so I think just settling like, okay, who's in my home?
00:24:09.100 | What's, I'm not, I love what we were reading in our book.
00:24:13.860 | I'm not responsible for this person's happiness.
00:24:18.660 | I'm responsible to this person to be gracious.
00:24:23.100 | And that's very, those are very different things.
00:24:26.380 | And that relieves us a lot.
00:24:28.340 | I'm not responsible for your happiness
00:24:30.460 | 'cause some people just aren't gonna feel happy
00:24:32.820 | or encouraged.
00:24:33.940 | - Right, right.
00:24:34.780 | Well, you can't make other people happy.
00:24:36.860 | - No, no, you can't.
00:24:37.700 | - You can provide an atmosphere or an opportunity
00:24:41.540 | that will lead them to find joy if they will.
00:24:44.700 | - Yes, yes, yes.
00:24:45.540 | - Yeah, that's really good.
00:24:47.500 | That's really good.
00:24:49.660 | I think that we end up having lots of people
00:24:54.380 | like at our house, this Thanksgiving,
00:24:57.220 | our list just keeps growing, okay?
00:24:59.460 | So it was the year we weren't,
00:25:01.620 | our girls were supposed to be with their in-laws.
00:25:05.940 | But one of my daughters is gonna be here,
00:25:09.740 | but it turns out that now her in-laws
00:25:13.180 | are actually coming to be in our house too.
00:25:16.220 | And one of her brother-in-laws and his child are coming.
00:25:20.980 | And then a nephew is bringing his fiance,
00:25:24.460 | but also her mother.
00:25:26.540 | And then we're having my daughter,
00:25:29.940 | my daughter whose family will not be with us
00:25:33.020 | for Thanksgiving.
00:25:34.340 | Her sister-in-law and little children will be with us.
00:25:38.460 | And so we have, somebody said to me just the other day,
00:25:42.380 | well, that's kind of a motley crowd there, isn't it?
00:25:45.740 | And I said, you know what?
00:25:46.900 | It's gonna be a lot of fun though,
00:25:48.300 | because some of these people
00:25:50.060 | are from different parts of the country.
00:25:52.340 | And so I'm very excited to find out,
00:25:55.780 | so what's your regular Thanksgiving tradition?
00:25:58.820 | What do you guys usually do?
00:26:00.580 | And I think in situations where we end up
00:26:04.460 | with a motley crew at our table,
00:26:08.020 | or you end up at somebody else's house
00:26:10.660 | that you don't know well,
00:26:11.940 | with a bunch of people that you don't know well,
00:26:14.900 | what's a girl to do?
00:26:17.140 | Well, the power of a well-timed question
00:26:21.060 | cannot be underestimated.
00:26:22.740 | So think in advance,
00:26:24.500 | what are some things that you,
00:26:26.700 | think about what you would like to share?
00:26:28.700 | What do you wish somebody would ask you
00:26:31.580 | and give you a chance to share a special holiday memory?
00:26:34.620 | So ask those kinds of questions,
00:26:37.540 | because all that usually,
00:26:39.140 | and for some reason we frequently end up
00:26:41.500 | with motley crews of people at our house on holidays.
00:26:45.180 | And so I have been so blessed over the years
00:26:49.100 | to look out and see these new relationships
00:26:53.940 | that have been forged between people
00:26:56.740 | who, if they had not both ended up at our house
00:26:59.300 | for a holiday,
00:27:00.140 | they would have never have known each other.
00:27:02.820 | Because somebody asked a question and got them talking,
00:27:07.220 | they have found all manner of things in common.
00:27:11.260 | And all manner of things to be interested in,
00:27:14.420 | in one another.
00:27:15.580 | Another thing, Amy, that I have found,
00:27:18.660 | and I'd love to know if this is true for you,
00:27:21.020 | that I have found that breaks the ice,
00:27:23.140 | is to give everybody a job.
00:27:25.660 | - Yes, yes, I agree.
00:27:29.380 | - Why is that so freeing, do you think?
00:27:32.340 | - I think it levels the playing field a little bit.
00:27:35.300 | I feel like there's a difference
00:27:38.420 | between hosting and entertaining.
00:27:41.780 | You know, we don't have,
00:27:43.500 | I don't have like in the 1800 servants
00:27:46.460 | that are seating you at the table.
00:27:49.180 | And I don't want to,
00:27:51.500 | and otherwise if I'm doing it alone,
00:27:54.900 | I'm very flurried because it's a big,
00:27:57.980 | it's an undertaking to feed 15 or 20 people.
00:28:02.980 | That's a lot.
00:28:04.180 | So having particular jobs,
00:28:07.060 | now there are jobs that I go,
00:28:08.820 | I'd really rather do that myself.
00:28:10.980 | - Exactly.
00:28:12.460 | But you know those jobs,
00:28:14.780 | you know what will stress you to pass on,
00:28:17.460 | and that would just be a blessing to somebody.
00:28:20.660 | - Yeah, or have them bring something.
00:28:22.620 | Even a person, we have an older single man
00:28:25.860 | that has come to dinner to us,
00:28:28.620 | and I'm like, can you bring a loaf of bread?
00:28:31.020 | You know, it's something that you don't have to cook,
00:28:34.380 | you don't have to ask.
00:28:35.900 | You know, can you bring me cans of cranberry sauce?
00:28:38.540 | Can you help me put that in a bowl?
00:28:40.660 | And also your expectation is to include
00:28:45.660 | and have fun.
00:28:49.980 | Like as they're chopping vegetables or arranging,
00:28:54.980 | give them a job like,
00:28:56.380 | hey, can you arrange these carrots and celery on a dish?
00:28:59.300 | And if they're nervous or I've had guests like,
00:29:01.660 | oh, how do you want it?
00:29:02.660 | Like, I don't care.
00:29:04.020 | You know, you have the freedom to make it fun.
00:29:06.820 | You know, and I think that that includes people.
00:29:11.820 | A good friend of ours, they always had a puzzle out.
00:29:16.500 | - Oh, yes.
00:29:17.980 | - Because some people she said are shy and quiet,
00:29:21.900 | but they can sit around and put together a puzzle
00:29:24.260 | with some other people.
00:29:26.020 | And you can have a little conversation
00:29:28.620 | and it's off to the side.
00:29:30.100 | - Right, or a new conversation and just be together.
00:29:33.580 | - Yes, yes.
00:29:35.140 | So I think that's to me what that, you know,
00:29:39.380 | asking people to help means.
00:29:41.620 | And you can kind of pick up on who's comfortable with that
00:29:45.740 | and who's maybe that's not their thing, you know.
00:29:49.980 | So you can just invite them.
00:29:52.860 | But I think that's always fun because you're not the one,
00:29:57.060 | I guess I just don't, I'm just so unavailable otherwise.
00:30:01.260 | - Right, I agree.
00:30:02.740 | I get really busy on Thanksgiving before it's get,
00:30:06.380 | you know, 15 minutes down, you know,
00:30:09.860 | 15 minutes from eat time.
00:30:11.980 | I am busy and I don't really want to talk to you
00:30:15.340 | about all the things.
00:30:16.780 | I want to do all the things.
00:30:18.940 | So yes, having things, activities that have put other people
00:30:22.500 | to work or given them something to do happily
00:30:26.020 | is really, really good.
00:30:28.340 | Go ahead.
00:30:30.340 | - It's still going to be crazy.
00:30:33.180 | Things are still going to happen.
00:30:35.020 | And things are not going to be up
00:30:37.460 | to what your expectations are.
00:30:39.220 | Are things are going to get spilt?
00:30:40.740 | Or it's going to get burned?
00:30:43.140 | Or someone's going to forget?
00:30:44.580 | Are someone else's kids are going to drive you crazy?
00:30:47.660 | I mean, it's just--
00:30:48.500 | - Yes, it's going to happen.
00:30:50.300 | - I think it's like you keep putting that relationship,
00:30:54.740 | those relationships front and center.
00:30:57.420 | What is eternal here?
00:30:59.100 | - Yes, yes.
00:31:00.420 | - And keep, as someone told me, keep the long view.
00:31:04.260 | When they leave the house,
00:31:06.340 | they want, you want them to leave feeling loved,
00:31:09.980 | well-loved, if you can.
00:31:11.780 | - Not like they were an imposition
00:31:14.620 | or they stayed too long or ate too much
00:31:18.300 | or their children did X.
00:31:20.180 | You want them to think, man, I felt part of that family.
00:31:24.300 | That was fun.
00:31:25.540 | I would do that again.
00:31:27.060 | And who knows, maybe that's why you end up
00:31:29.580 | with a motley crew of people that come back.
00:31:31.460 | So who knows?
00:31:32.300 | - Exactly.
00:31:33.140 | - I know we are looking, we're talking about,
00:31:36.580 | y'all, ways to simplify things.
00:31:39.340 | Simplify your school routine.
00:31:41.700 | Simplify your holiday celebration.
00:31:45.340 | Simplify your hosting.
00:31:47.180 | And as I was thinking about this, Amy,
00:31:49.180 | I thought, man, those scribbler's verbs
00:31:52.300 | that we worked on all those, that time back,
00:31:56.340 | those scribbler's verbs are really applicable
00:31:58.900 | and they're not just for four to eight-year-olds, y'all.
00:32:02.420 | The scribbler's verbs are awesome.
00:32:05.380 | They help us relax while we are doing things with purpose
00:32:10.380 | and we are playing with intention.
00:32:14.660 | And they're not just for little people.
00:32:16.460 | They can help us do life together
00:32:19.340 | in a way that really covers all the bases
00:32:22.180 | while we are still essentially playing and taking breaks.
00:32:26.500 | So Amy, help us, I want you, okay,
00:32:28.860 | remind people what the scribbler's verbs are.
00:32:32.260 | And then for the last minutes that you and I have together,
00:32:35.300 | we are gonna brainstorm some ways
00:32:38.420 | that each one of these verbs can help us
00:32:41.420 | embrace the holidays together,
00:32:43.940 | drawing families together, including our guests.
00:32:47.380 | So how can we draw our families
00:32:51.260 | and draw our guests into the celebration of the season
00:32:56.260 | using scribbler's verbs?
00:32:58.180 | Okay, so tell us what they are first
00:33:01.300 | and then we'll start one by one.
00:33:03.340 | - I love that.
00:33:04.180 | And there's one word that is in every one of the verbs.
00:33:08.540 | So we pray together, we play together,
00:33:13.140 | we read together, we explore together,
00:33:17.140 | and we serve together.
00:33:19.260 | And that is because our relationships are what,
00:33:24.260 | I love that in the, this is in the scribbler's guide,
00:33:26.980 | our relationships draw us into learning.
00:33:31.860 | And I think that that being together,
00:33:35.420 | so praying, just what we are, we do,
00:33:40.420 | starting our day, those rhythms of the day
00:33:44.980 | of incorporating each one of these
00:33:48.020 | as we move through the day
00:33:49.180 | and recognizing when that happens.
00:33:51.740 | Sometimes that's really intentional on our part.
00:33:54.380 | And other times we can just delightfully go,
00:33:56.860 | wow, we just read something together
00:33:59.740 | and I didn't have to put it on a list.
00:34:01.780 | We just met.
00:34:02.620 | - Yes, it just happened.
00:34:04.180 | It became part of the family rhythm.
00:34:08.180 | And that is very relaxing.
00:34:12.180 | It's very refreshing.
00:34:13.940 | I love what you said.
00:34:14.980 | It doesn't have to be a plan.
00:34:16.860 | That, I am a planner.
00:34:18.380 | I mean, I have a list.
00:34:19.740 | My kids, one time, one of my girl's friends said,
00:34:22.980 | I bet your mom has a list of lists.
00:34:25.420 | And my daughter very seriously said, oh, she does.
00:34:28.180 | It's that blue book right there.
00:34:29.820 | And I was like, oh my gosh, I do.
00:34:31.620 | I have a list, a book that's a list of my list.
00:34:34.180 | But everything doesn't have to be planned.
00:34:38.740 | And if you develop a family rhythm of these five things,
00:34:44.780 | you will discover that your life has become enriched
00:34:49.780 | and you are intentionally doing these things,
00:34:54.700 | but you didn't have to plan it.
00:34:56.580 | So let's talk about,
00:34:58.860 | so we're thinking together about ways that we can,
00:35:03.860 | first of all, let's do pray together.
00:35:06.420 | And these are ways that you as your family can,
00:35:10.940 | and you could do this all through the year.
00:35:12.780 | It doesn't have to just be at the holidays,
00:35:14.700 | but if you're trying to simplify for the holiday,
00:35:17.180 | but you feel compelled to make sure
00:35:19.620 | that you're doing things together
00:35:21.260 | and that you are teaching your children
00:35:24.100 | about the power of routine
00:35:26.700 | and the power of a learning relational rhythm
00:35:30.820 | where you do life together.
00:35:33.060 | This is a great place to start.
00:35:34.740 | So let's start with praying.
00:35:36.620 | Amy, how can we teach our children to pray
00:35:43.100 | for all their circles of people?
00:35:47.220 | And by circles, I mean, your children,
00:35:50.940 | the people in your home,
00:35:52.620 | when their kids are little,
00:35:53.660 | they start by praying for their family
00:35:56.220 | and then they pray for their extended family
00:35:58.380 | and then their friends,
00:35:59.540 | and then they'll pray for people in their neighborhood
00:36:02.540 | or at church.
00:36:03.860 | So how do we teach our children
00:36:05.860 | to pray for all their circles?
00:36:08.460 | - I think, first we model, by example,
00:36:12.820 | that prayer is just the opportunity
00:36:15.100 | to talk directly with the Lord
00:36:17.220 | and be honest before him.
00:36:19.980 | But I think it is helpful to help children
00:36:24.980 | understand that prayer is a conversation with the Lord.
00:36:30.660 | And so that means I'm still or quiet.
00:36:35.660 | I think posture,
00:36:38.260 | if you want them to fold their hands
00:36:39.860 | because they're not punching or pinching.
00:36:42.020 | - Oh, yeah.
00:36:42.860 | - And if you want them to bow their heads or kneel,
00:36:48.060 | just thinking through just how we approach the Lord
00:36:53.060 | and that's just your family tradition.
00:36:55.780 | And then I always thought it was a neat idea
00:36:59.980 | to have something like a physical.
00:37:02.540 | So there's this nice little,
00:37:04.540 | Child Evangelism Fellowship has the praying hand.
00:37:07.700 | - Oh, yeah.
00:37:09.020 | - It was like your little finger
00:37:11.580 | 'cause you're a small person
00:37:13.140 | that you can pray for yourself.
00:37:14.580 | Like what's on your mind?
00:37:16.300 | Sometimes we skip that.
00:37:17.740 | - Oh, yeah.
00:37:18.580 | - You pray for yourself.
00:37:19.660 | What are some things you're worried about
00:37:21.220 | or maybe things you're thankful for or you want?
00:37:24.220 | You know, our little ones
00:37:25.700 | we're always praying for Christmas, you know.
00:37:28.260 | - Yes, yes.
00:37:29.100 | - That's okay.
00:37:30.420 | God is very gracious and we pray for things too.
00:37:34.380 | So just asking for it.
00:37:36.620 | And then like their little, their ring finger,
00:37:39.580 | that's a weak finger.
00:37:40.900 | So pray for people that you know need help.
00:37:44.940 | Who are some help that people that you think,
00:37:47.420 | and you'll be surprised at who they bring up
00:37:51.940 | that they are aware of that need help, that are struggling.
00:37:55.220 | And then your, like your middle finger,
00:37:58.100 | people who are your helpers,
00:38:00.540 | like people who are like your parents
00:38:02.380 | or your Sunday school teacher or your tutor.
00:38:05.500 | Think about people or your pastor,
00:38:07.660 | people that are your helpers and pray for them.
00:38:09.740 | And then I love the pointer is that
00:38:12.780 | those who point me to Christ.
00:38:14.940 | - Oh, that's good.
00:38:16.060 | - To pray for your pastor or pray for your,
00:38:19.140 | maybe a leader in your children's church or think,
00:38:23.860 | and you'll be surprised, even your tutor,
00:38:26.820 | like praying for your,
00:38:28.300 | we would pray, you know,
00:38:30.380 | a dad at the scout master or something.
00:38:33.260 | You know, it's interesting who comes up,
00:38:35.220 | who are the people that point you to Christ.
00:38:37.260 | And then your thumb is the people
00:38:39.420 | who are the closest to you.
00:38:41.780 | And so it's like your family or your, you know,
00:38:44.700 | and occasionally they would pray for each other.
00:38:47.460 | - Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:38:50.860 | - But just having a little,
00:38:54.100 | just even helping them with that structure
00:38:56.860 | or even teaching the Lord's prayer,
00:38:59.620 | or I think some of it is teaching and instruction
00:39:04.100 | and modeling and then letting them bring their own.
00:39:08.780 | And of course, it's lovely.
00:39:10.260 | Like you can have a bowl on the table
00:39:12.100 | and you can pick, you know,
00:39:13.260 | you can have a Thanksgiving bowl.
00:39:15.140 | - Oh, that's good, yeah.
00:39:15.980 | - That's what you thanks God for.
00:39:17.100 | You can pull a bowl
00:39:18.580 | where you pull somebody's name out of the hat,
00:39:20.540 | let them put some people name
00:39:22.020 | and you pray for them that day.
00:39:23.700 | You can ask if there are particular answers to prayer.
00:39:27.660 | I think that's something we did,
00:39:29.500 | kept a little quick journal.
00:39:31.460 | Like we pray for this and where's the answer?
00:39:33.860 | You know, watching for that and seeing how God.
00:39:36.420 | So those are things that I think just keeping,
00:39:41.340 | prayer is very personal.
00:39:43.220 | And I think not making it something where,
00:39:46.380 | if someone's not comfortable praying,
00:39:48.540 | little guys, you know, singing a song instead
00:39:52.780 | or not, and just, or praying for them.
00:39:57.060 | You know, I think being really sweet
00:39:58.860 | and, you know, putting your arm around them,
00:40:02.220 | praying for them when they've had a hard time,
00:40:03.980 | or sometimes we'd pray before one particular child
00:40:07.380 | had a math.
00:40:08.860 | - Yes, yes.
00:40:10.300 | - And so we just pray over like,
00:40:11.860 | Lord, would you help us with this
00:40:13.620 | and help us to not be worried or anxious
00:40:16.260 | and just a simple prayer.
00:40:17.860 | - Yeah, and so many of those things you can do,
00:40:21.860 | even when you have guests in your home,
00:40:23.500 | you can incorporate people into that.
00:40:26.140 | Everybody understands a thankful bowl
00:40:28.780 | where you put in a blessing.
00:40:30.740 | Or one thing that our family has done
00:40:34.420 | is when we get Christmas cards through the year,
00:40:36.620 | I put them in a basket and then we pray at night.
00:40:41.420 | - Nice, yes.
00:40:42.660 | - At our evening meal and sometimes afterwards,
00:40:45.260 | we pray for the cards that we pray for the families.
00:40:48.020 | And so everybody can do that.
00:40:49.860 | And, you know, there's always card,
00:40:51.420 | I pick a card and my kids are like,
00:40:52.900 | who is that?
00:40:53.740 | Why are we praying for that?
00:40:55.220 | They don't remember these distant relatives
00:40:57.380 | or these college roommates.
00:40:59.500 | And so it's easy to include other people
00:41:04.140 | in those kinds of activities.
00:41:06.300 | And I think it's lovely.
00:41:08.300 | People like being drawn into your family rhythms,
00:41:11.900 | especially if they're not pressured to participate.
00:41:15.700 | So like if they don't want to pray out loud,
00:41:18.580 | then we never do that,
00:41:20.660 | but we ask them to be with us as we pray.
00:41:23.940 | And I just, I think that's really good.
00:41:28.060 | One of the things that I love doing
00:41:29.820 | is that you could do as a family
00:41:34.260 | is like make a prayer journal.
00:41:37.260 | It is very encouraging for young children
00:41:42.260 | to see that, oh look, five pages back,
00:41:48.060 | there was this request and we prayed for it as a family
00:41:51.780 | and look what God has done.
00:41:53.940 | - Yes, yes.
00:41:55.100 | - And if you don't write it down,
00:41:56.540 | sometimes you, I have been shocked
00:41:59.300 | sometimes when I've gone back through a journal
00:42:01.420 | and seen how many times God answered something
00:42:05.860 | that I just kind of rattled off
00:42:07.700 | 'cause I had to say something.
00:42:10.100 | God bless this or God take care of that.
00:42:12.620 | And then, you know, eight pages ahead,
00:42:15.780 | I look back and God has done all these things.
00:42:18.860 | - Yes.
00:42:19.700 | - And just to see the hand of God.
00:42:21.020 | And okay, how do we play together?
00:42:23.420 | How can play be a way that we learn about the Lord
00:42:28.420 | or learn about our family or learn about ourselves?
00:42:32.860 | How can play help us?
00:42:35.380 | - Oh, I think having, first of all,
00:42:37.660 | the spirit of playfulness and humor.
00:42:39.980 | - Yes, I love it.
00:42:40.820 | - And just that things are silly.
00:42:43.700 | You know, Christmas isn't just, you know,
00:42:45.900 | we're just gonna think about, you know, Jesus, no offense.
00:42:48.980 | We do wanna think about Jesus,
00:42:50.300 | but there's so much delight and there's good food
00:42:53.940 | and there's beauty.
00:42:55.300 | And all of that are blessings from the Lord.
00:42:57.580 | So recognizing that we can have humor.
00:43:00.380 | And I always felt like it was nice
00:43:03.020 | to keep things pretty simple,
00:43:04.580 | like play a game together that's not highly competitive.
00:43:07.980 | Now, my boys would play highly competitive.
00:43:09.500 | - Oh my gosh, yes, yes.
00:43:11.100 | - With these long board games.
00:43:12.300 | No, I did not do that.
00:43:13.460 | But if you wanna play like old mates
00:43:16.060 | or especially for little guys, like a matching game.
00:43:19.380 | Like sometimes we made those stickers
00:43:22.100 | that were, you know, Christmas stickers
00:43:25.100 | and put 'em on index cards.
00:43:27.500 | - You know what, Amy, you said a matching game.
00:43:30.260 | One thing that I did when my girls were really little,
00:43:33.900 | before the holidays, I would, now, okay,
00:43:37.540 | admittedly, this is back in the day
00:43:39.060 | when you had film developed, okay?
00:43:40.780 | So that's how old I am.
00:43:42.860 | But I would take pictures of family members
00:43:45.860 | that we were gonna see
00:43:47.140 | that I knew they probably didn't remember.
00:43:48.860 | And I made a matching game out of 'em.
00:43:51.500 | Like I would cover the back of it with a piece of felt.
00:43:54.700 | And then we probably had a concentration game.
00:43:57.300 | So they got to see, this is Aunt Michelle.
00:44:00.100 | This is, you know, this is Uncle John.
00:44:02.180 | Oh, that's Nana and Raleigh.
00:44:03.660 | That's Pawpaw, you know?
00:44:05.220 | So they would identify those.
00:44:07.660 | So yeah, matching games are awesome for that.
00:44:10.020 | - Are so fun.
00:44:10.860 | And you can get pretty cheap photographs
00:44:13.500 | from your digital stuff now.
00:44:14.940 | - Yeah, you certainly can.
00:44:16.260 | - And that makes it really fun.
00:44:18.740 | And sometimes we made,
00:44:20.620 | one of the things Witt really loved is we made
00:44:23.700 | like a folder.
00:44:24.660 | We took a manila folder and made our own game
00:44:28.420 | where it was let's find dad or something.
00:44:31.340 | I can't remember.
00:44:32.180 | It was like, and it was hilarious
00:44:34.500 | because some of the things,
00:44:36.140 | like dad's lost his, you know, whatever, glasses.
00:44:39.220 | And so it was long, you know?
00:44:41.460 | And it was like, we rolled the dice
00:44:43.220 | and you'd have to go back
00:44:44.340 | and, you know, make him a hot cup of tea.
00:44:46.180 | You know, it was just something very goofy,
00:44:49.340 | but any, and it wasn't about winning it,
00:44:51.940 | but it was, and it was just fun.
00:44:54.460 | Like something where people can sit around the table
00:44:58.100 | and that's where like simple puzzles
00:45:00.260 | and everyone's invited,
00:45:02.060 | especially, and little guys can sit on your lap,
00:45:04.020 | you know, like they can play or not.
00:45:05.620 | You can modify.
00:45:07.140 | - Yes, yes.
00:45:07.980 | - You can apply the rules, you know?
00:45:11.220 | And, but just getting people together
00:45:14.060 | or making something like really making cookies
00:45:18.180 | or popcorn or do something
00:45:21.420 | where you're playfully incorporating other people.
00:45:25.780 | You're doing it together.
00:45:27.820 | So you would like for people to be together.
00:45:31.060 | - Yes, where the process is the point,
00:45:34.420 | not the product, okay?
00:45:36.860 | So that we are just all participating
00:45:39.540 | in this silly activity.
00:45:41.540 | It's not about what we make
00:45:43.540 | or what we've created at the end.
00:45:46.140 | You know, moms, if you are really,
00:45:49.060 | if you really want,
00:45:50.100 | if you just really need to bring
00:45:51.540 | some of that academic stuff in,
00:45:53.900 | let your littlest learners share
00:45:57.700 | one or two weeks worth of the timeline.
00:46:01.380 | - Yes.
00:46:02.220 | - With grownups and let them lead the grownups
00:46:06.420 | in a memory game.
00:46:07.700 | You talk about leveling the playing field,
00:46:10.460 | that will sure do it.
00:46:11.940 | And so everybody can, all the grownups can learn together
00:46:15.260 | and the little kids can be in charge.
00:46:17.420 | And they might truly love that.
00:46:19.820 | That's super fun.
00:46:22.620 | So play, you already mentioned some things
00:46:25.340 | that you can read together.
00:46:27.060 | You can have,
00:46:28.580 | you can even let people put in a pile.
00:46:33.940 | We used to do this.
00:46:34.900 | We let everybody put in five things,
00:46:38.020 | five stories or five books that they love.
00:46:41.580 | And we would take turns reading from those things.
00:46:45.780 | - If you have, and traditional stories
00:46:47.860 | that you just read every year,
00:46:50.060 | even if kids roll their eyes after a while.
00:46:52.980 | It's so fun.
00:46:53.820 | We always read "The Night Before Christmas"
00:46:55.580 | and we always read "The Miracle of Jonathan Toomey"
00:46:58.060 | and we always read "And Wood Always Cries"
00:46:59.980 | and "It Was So Lovely" and, you know,
00:47:02.100 | and we read "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever."
00:47:05.140 | You know, if there's certain things that catch your fancy
00:47:08.100 | and if they don't, you can put them aside.
00:47:10.420 | But I think that having reading,
00:47:13.660 | and then I think part of the reading is,
00:47:16.260 | as we're doing the Christmas story,
00:47:18.620 | just really embellishing that with like acting it out
00:47:22.300 | or having someone narrate.
00:47:23.660 | Hey, have your littlest one narrate it back.
00:47:26.900 | You know, tell me what's your favorite part
00:47:29.340 | of the Christmas story and share that one evening.
00:47:32.340 | I mean, you, it's just so fun.
00:47:34.420 | Just ask a good question.
00:47:36.300 | Hey, what, who's your favorite character
00:47:39.060 | in the Christmas story, why?
00:47:41.340 | And then if you have a crush,
00:47:43.300 | we always had, you know, different ones around
00:47:47.380 | that you kids could actually, you know, play with,
00:47:51.820 | you know, not super fancy.
00:47:53.980 | And just using that and just talking about that story,
00:47:58.980 | that is such a beautiful story.
00:48:01.820 | And then just talking about the parts of the story,
00:48:04.420 | have someone narrate parts of it back,
00:48:06.900 | picking out who their favorite is,
00:48:08.580 | their favorite animal at the crash.
00:48:11.060 | Uh-huh, yep.
00:48:12.380 | Like I found, you know, dinosaurs in the crash.
00:48:15.940 | Oh my gosh, that is so funny.
00:48:17.860 | I found Lego man in the crash.
00:48:19.340 | That is so fun.
00:48:20.740 | Mm-hmm, and I think just making it,
00:48:23.940 | yeah, that playful, joyfulness of spirit.
00:48:28.780 | I know that one of my girls' best memories
00:48:33.020 | was one that really got me worried when I,
00:48:36.900 | when they were little, they were like two and four.
00:48:41.260 | I think they were two and four.
00:48:42.980 | And we lived in a parsonage that was heated with oil
00:48:47.980 | and it had a blower and we had a terrible storm
00:48:52.780 | and the power went out.
00:48:54.980 | And in our house, if the power was out,
00:48:58.140 | the blower did not work and so we had no heat.
00:49:00.860 | And so the girls, it was Christmas Eve
00:49:03.980 | and the girls were in the bathtub.
00:49:06.260 | It was in the daytime.
00:49:07.300 | I don't even know why I was washing their hair
00:49:08.700 | in the daytime.
00:49:09.540 | They were in the bathtub and the power went utterly out
00:49:12.300 | and the bathroom had no natural light.
00:49:13.940 | So they just thought this was a big hoot.
00:49:16.500 | And I, of course, was stroking out because I'm thinking,
00:49:19.540 | it's cold, my children are gonna catch pneumonia
00:49:21.820 | for Christmas.
00:49:22.660 | So, I mean, David was building a fire
00:49:25.340 | and they, we, you know, pulled them out of the bathtub
00:49:27.660 | and had to dry their hair with towels.
00:49:29.420 | Of course, no hairdryer would work without power.
00:49:31.860 | In front of the fire and we put blankets out
00:49:34.260 | and we brought some of their toys in.
00:49:35.940 | They thought this was like the best thing ever
00:49:39.260 | 'cause daddy is playing with us
00:49:40.780 | and we're getting to bring our big toys
00:49:43.340 | into the living room and we're in front of the fire.
00:49:45.900 | And so their favorite thing we decided,
00:49:48.620 | 'cause it was lasting a long time,
00:49:50.100 | so we acted out the Christmas story.
00:49:52.540 | - Oh, yes.
00:49:53.380 | - And they went and got all manner of props and things,
00:49:57.180 | then drug it into my clean living room.
00:49:59.980 | And they look back on that as one of their most fun things.
00:50:03.620 | And we spent hours telling the story over and over
00:50:08.020 | till we can get it just right for the older one,
00:50:11.140 | had to be just right.
00:50:12.300 | And everybody had to do their part just right.
00:50:14.860 | So we actually eventually ended up filming that.
00:50:18.100 | David's parents came the next day and we acted it out
00:50:22.420 | and we have that.
00:50:23.260 | Papa put it on video for us.
00:50:25.340 | And so that's a way, that's a story.
00:50:27.820 | That is a story they had read a hundred times.
00:50:30.860 | And so they knew what the story was.
00:50:34.140 | And so you can act it out.
00:50:35.820 | You can draw pictures of it.
00:50:37.740 | - Oh, yes.
00:50:38.580 | - You can make a movie of it.
00:50:40.420 | You can do a radio play.
00:50:42.740 | Your kids will get into telling the stories
00:50:47.140 | and reading stories in different ways.
00:50:49.940 | That is so awesome.
00:50:51.900 | I love the whole idea of exploring together.
00:50:55.140 | And something that you said at the beginning, Amy,
00:50:57.980 | about just using it as a time to explore God's creation.
00:51:02.540 | - Yes.
00:51:03.380 | - Really absorbing the beauty of this season outside.
00:51:08.180 | But how else can we, can explore be one of those verbs
00:51:13.820 | that draws a family together?
00:51:17.140 | - Well, you know, there is the outside.
00:51:20.300 | You know, you can also, it's a quiet season.
00:51:22.860 | You know, there's usually not a lot of people
00:51:26.020 | at the parks or anything like that.
00:51:28.100 | It's a good place.
00:51:29.340 | And the birds need to be fed.
00:51:31.700 | And little creatures, you can hide.
00:51:34.300 | They're hiding and sleeping.
00:51:36.340 | So those are good things to do.
00:51:38.500 | But inside, and you're doing more inside things.
00:51:42.260 | I would say instead of keeping it like,
00:51:45.620 | oh, we're gonna do an activity now.
00:51:47.500 | Think through what are the activities that I have to do?
00:51:52.900 | Like, am I gonna make a jam for, you know, a gift?
00:51:57.620 | Or am I gonna assemble something in the kitchen?
00:52:01.300 | Am I gonna cook something that I don't normally cook?
00:52:06.300 | Then bring them in and start having conversations about,
00:52:11.780 | well, why do we put baking soda in this cake?
00:52:15.900 | And, you know, you can incorporate them
00:52:18.980 | into the exploring like the different spices.
00:52:21.980 | And let's look up where these spices are from.
00:52:25.180 | Let's explore that a little bit
00:52:27.060 | or let them pick something out
00:52:30.100 | that maybe they would like to cook or make.
00:52:33.220 | And that you can incorporate that in the day.
00:52:35.340 | That's very science-y.
00:52:37.340 | You can incorporate, you can do a million things
00:52:41.980 | with just getting a hundred coffee filters.
00:52:46.980 | - Ooh, that's very true.
00:52:49.260 | - And clothespins and make a bazillion either,
00:52:52.980 | well, you can either say they're angels or butterflies.
00:52:55.580 | It doesn't matter.
00:52:56.540 | - Yes, yes.
00:52:58.020 | - And if you just watch, you know, dip it in water
00:53:02.180 | and watch the colors bleed, you know,
00:53:06.300 | get some Epsom salt.
00:53:08.340 | That's the cheapest form of glitter you're gonna find.
00:53:11.980 | Make, look at it, watch it dissolve.
00:53:15.220 | Does it dissolve easily in hot water or cold water?
00:53:18.180 | You know, melt stuff, make cookies
00:53:20.780 | like those stained glass cookies
00:53:22.140 | where you put cookies in and watch it melt.
00:53:25.700 | You know, just what is hot chocolate?
00:53:29.420 | You know, making things and just recognizing
00:53:32.220 | how do your senses, what do you smell?
00:53:34.540 | And if you want to put like,
00:53:36.420 | let's put a candy cane in this one
00:53:37.940 | and let's put, you know, sprinkles in that one.
00:53:40.660 | And just how do they taste differently
00:53:42.740 | and why do they taste?
00:53:44.060 | And just, I think is sometimes we add a lot of things
00:53:49.060 | that may be recognizing,
00:53:52.740 | oh, we've got to make all those extra presents.
00:53:55.140 | You know, the presents that you make
00:53:56.740 | for all the extra people in your life.
00:54:00.060 | Well, incorporate them in helping you make those presents.
00:54:04.420 | There's nothing more encouraging
00:54:07.020 | than getting a salt door Christmas ornament.
00:54:09.340 | You know, that is really, that is so much fun.
00:54:14.340 | And to see this as a homemade gift
00:54:17.580 | and it's something that you did
00:54:19.380 | with your kids in your home.
00:54:21.940 | And there's so many things.
00:54:23.220 | I mean, I would avoid Pinterest and so on.
00:54:26.700 | - Right, right.
00:54:28.340 | - But also just glance over things that you think,
00:54:32.580 | ooh, that would be a really easy thing to do
00:54:36.660 | and get the kids around.
00:54:38.140 | Also, one thing is since we're in community
00:54:41.180 | for those 12 weeks, as you're in community,
00:54:44.580 | circle those experiments that they love.
00:54:48.740 | - Yes, redo something you explored over the semester.
00:54:53.140 | And yeah, I love that.
00:54:55.180 | - Yes, that is so fun.
00:54:57.860 | - There are lots of times that our children
00:55:01.220 | are super interested in what we're doing right now.
00:55:04.900 | And in the heat of the semester,
00:55:06.500 | we say, but we must move on.
00:55:08.740 | - Yes.
00:55:09.580 | - We must move on when really,
00:55:11.700 | we don't must do anything really.
00:55:14.140 | So go back, go back to those things
00:55:17.140 | that people still had an interest in
00:55:19.580 | or still had a question.
00:55:21.140 | This goes for younger children and older children.
00:55:25.620 | There are grownups that whose interest was piqued
00:55:29.860 | by a history sentence or by something
00:55:32.740 | that their challenge student was researching.
00:55:36.380 | And you had more questions,
00:55:38.340 | but not enough time to chase those rabbits.
00:55:41.780 | Chase the rabbit all holiday season.
00:55:44.580 | Let it be a chasing of the rabbits
00:55:46.820 | and explore together all of the things
00:55:49.980 | that people wondered about
00:55:51.420 | and you didn't have time to satisfy the curiosity.
00:55:54.740 | That's an awesome way to do that.
00:55:57.740 | Okay, serve.
00:55:59.700 | Where does serving begin, Amy?
00:56:02.540 | - Oh, well, first in your home.
00:56:04.300 | You know, when you do chores,
00:56:05.460 | you're serving your family.
00:56:06.900 | And to help them see that there are opportunities
00:56:12.180 | that you can lighten the load.
00:56:14.580 | Christ lightens our load.
00:56:16.420 | He bears our burdens.
00:56:17.740 | And so to recognize and that service is not just,
00:56:22.380 | you know, it can be collecting food at a food bank.
00:56:25.820 | You know, it can be where you do it together as a family,
00:56:29.740 | but making the connection with the people you're serving.
00:56:33.340 | So that can be a visit to a neighbor.
00:56:36.820 | I mean, last Christmas, all the kids were like,
00:56:40.980 | we were getting squirrely and was like,
00:56:42.620 | all right, put on your jacket.
00:56:44.340 | We're gonna walk up and down.
00:56:45.700 | It was like, are you kidding?
00:56:47.100 | We're gonna walk up and down the street
00:56:48.460 | and we're gonna sing carols.
00:56:49.740 | No, we are not singers.
00:56:51.220 | And we had like seven down to one.
00:56:55.780 | So we went to our neighbors and knocked on their door.
00:56:58.980 | We have several that live alone.
00:57:01.180 | And we just kind of sang.
00:57:03.460 | It was kind of awkward because I wanted to sing
00:57:06.860 | kind of weird Christmas songs.
00:57:09.660 | We sang them with, we were boisterously saying,
00:57:14.660 | we made noise.
00:57:15.780 | And then we had some kids.
00:57:17.860 | One of my granddaughters said,
00:57:19.620 | let's give them a candy cane 'cause she loves candy canes.
00:57:22.900 | So we gave them a little candy cane.
00:57:25.180 | And you know, that was, they had the best time.
00:57:28.100 | And it was so easy.
00:57:31.260 | And just making a connection with the person
00:57:35.140 | that we're helping or we're serving.
00:57:37.700 | I think sitting with someone, you know,
00:57:40.940 | just sitting, visiting, nursing home.
00:57:44.020 | We had one very close by that we would just go
00:57:48.540 | and like hand, give them something to do though.
00:57:52.740 | Don't like hand them a card that you made or something.
00:57:57.380 | But I think that helps.
00:57:59.460 | I think helping children recognize
00:58:03.420 | that they have something to offer to someone else
00:58:05.780 | that is a good taste of what serving is about.
00:58:10.780 | So, and of course you can do Operation Christmas Child Boxes
00:58:15.500 | and you can be involved in your church's activities.
00:58:18.300 | But I like having the connection
00:58:20.900 | with the people that we're serving.
00:58:23.180 | - One of the best ways to begin this
00:58:25.620 | is at the holiday season when you teach your children,
00:58:29.060 | little children and older children,
00:58:31.660 | that they serve your family's guests well
00:58:37.780 | when they draw them into your family.
00:58:40.420 | So practice how to talk to strangers.
00:58:44.860 | Practice with your little children.
00:58:47.620 | What do you say when you meet someone?
00:58:50.540 | What's a good question that you could ask somebody else
00:58:55.340 | so they will tell you about themselves.
00:58:57.540 | When we teach our children to love well
00:59:01.580 | the people that come to our home, we are serving them.
00:59:06.340 | And that's a beautiful way for us,
00:59:09.940 | especially during the holidays,
00:59:12.220 | to welcome people to our home and to love them.
00:59:16.420 | Amy, thank you so much.
00:59:18.100 | I feel like we have lots of good ideas together
00:59:22.980 | about how to simplify the holidays
00:59:26.140 | but make it deeply meaningful,
00:59:27.900 | both for our families and for people who join us.
00:59:31.740 | I hope, listeners, that you have enjoyed this podcast
00:59:35.780 | and that maybe you'll go back and listen to it again
00:59:38.540 | or pass it on to a friend who's wondering
00:59:41.300 | what to do with the Motley crew,
00:59:43.140 | that they have a symbol for the holidays.
00:59:46.140 | I know that life is busy,
00:59:48.180 | but people are looking for good ideas.
00:59:51.820 | And I also want to let you guys know
00:59:54.260 | that our podcast is a wealth of interesting
00:59:59.260 | and mostly good ideas,
01:00:01.580 | but there's another place that you can listen
01:00:04.740 | for great ideas.
01:00:06.020 | Even when you're busy, you don't have to miss out
01:00:09.980 | some of our catalog articles
01:00:12.940 | in the upcoming 2025 Classical Conversations catalog,
01:00:18.420 | such as The Need for Community and His Grace is Sufficient
01:00:23.020 | and Skills to Love Your Neighbor,
01:00:25.620 | which goes right along with this podcast.
01:00:28.140 | Those articles can actually be listened to
01:00:33.140 | as well as read.
01:00:35.060 | So you can actually download audio versions
01:00:38.860 | of articles from the catalog and listen to them
01:00:41.980 | while you're in the car, while you're working out,
01:00:44.820 | while you're baking for the holidays.
01:00:47.060 | You can even forward an episode to your friend.
01:00:49.860 | You can listen wherever you stream podcasts.
01:00:53.140 | You just search for Classical Conversations
01:00:57.020 | catalog podcast, okay?
01:01:00.220 | Or you can go to classicalconversations/catalog-articles.com.
01:01:05.220 | But anywhere you search for podcasts,
01:01:10.180 | you can find it
01:01:11.020 | under Classical Conversations catalog podcast.
01:01:15.020 | So add that to your playlist
01:01:17.140 | and I will see you guys next week.
01:01:20.660 | Happy holidays.
01:01:22.580 | (upbeat music)
01:01:25.180 | you
01:01:27.240 | you