(upbeat music) - Welcome friends to this episode of the "Everyday Educator" podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Bailey, and I'm excited to spend some time with you today as we encourage one another, learn together, and ponder the delights and challenges that make homeschooling the adventure of a lifetime. Whether you're just considering this homeschooling possibility or deep into the daily delight of family learning, I believe you'll enjoy thinking along with us.

But don't forget, although this online community is awesome, you'll find even closer support in a local CC community. So go to classicalconversations.com and find a community near you today. Well, listeners, welcome to this episode of "Everyday Educator." We are hurtling into the holiday season. I know that you are probably feeling the pace of life speed up for you.

The holidays are almost upon us. Next week is Thanksgiving. Well, you'll be hearing this, and it will be Thanksgiving week. And I don't know about you. I know for me, once mid-November arrives, it feels like I am just in the headlong plunge toward Christmas. And as a homeschool mom, I love, love, love spending days with my girls.

I loved it when they were little, and when they were older, I loved building those holiday memories, even while we still had chores to do and schoolwork to finish, and with the holidays, guests to welcome. I suspect that you're in the same boat. So what is a family to do?

How can we? And you know what? I think these thoughts every year. One year, I'm gonna conquer it, I believe. I fully believe. How can we simplify life in a busy time, celebrating with everyone while we do life together? So today, my dear friend Amy Jones is with me, and we're gonna talk through this idea of how can we make the holidays all that we desire it to be while we're still getting stuff done and we are making our guests feel welcome and a part of our family?

Amy, thank you so much for helping me think about this. - Oh man, this is gonna be so much fun, Lisa. It just has brought back so many good and interesting memories. - Yes, I know, I was gonna say, it has brought back, as I've pondered it, it has brought about good memories and memories that I think, yeah, that was a dark day in the Bailey household.

But you know what? God lets us redeem our mistakes. And so hopefully, listeners, you will learn from mistakes that Amy and I have made down the road. Let me ask you, Amy, what were the holidays like with little kids at home? - Oh, well, it was, you know, pretty chaotic.

As most of it, honestly, it was just another little bit of more chaos than home schooling. (laughing) I never felt like my days were just super smooth and peaceful anyway, but the holidays just added another layer of what I, when I was really wrestling with the holidays, is more stuff to do, you know?

- Uh-huh. - Instead of, I think I learned pretty early that I had to make up a space that where the holidays or a place that might, we, holidays, holy days, days that we could actually celebrate instead of being run here hither and yon. And so it was busy, but there's always excitement, you know?

The children had so much excitement. And just, I was thinking, especially when you have a five or six-year-old, you know, they've only gone through Christmas, maybe remembering it two or three times. It's not a tradition for them. - Right, right. - Everything is like this wonder, like, "Oh, we're gonna put up," just simple things, you know, just decorations in the store or lights or that sort of thing.

Just being reminded that this is really new for them. And just celebrating that newness with them. And then, you know, as the kids got older, they kind of took on their own, like they had their own Christmas events or expectations with friends and that sort of thing. So, you know, you kind of morph your Christmas with your family.

You grow with your family. Yes, definitely excitement, definitely busyness, and a lot of fun, a lot of expectations that we had. - Yes, that's really true. And sometimes my expectations, 'cause you made a really excellent point that oddly I've never really thought about. I have to say that when our kids are really young, tradition is not really a thing for them, okay?

Because if they are only four or five years old, they only remember probably two Christmases, maybe three if they had words really early. And so tradition, we get hung up on doing the traditional things for our kids, but really we are the only ones that remember that this is a tradition.

And so I really like that, that we should take a cue from our kids and just find the wonder in the simple things that we do. I know that my daughter who is grown and married and she has two little children of her own, she decided that this year she was putting her tree up early.

It's like, it's so like, I never do it before Thanksgiving. And she's like, "Mom, then just don't come here." And so she put it up and she sent me the sweetest video because my grandson is almost two and a half and they put up the tree and he came in and he saw it and he was so excited because he remembers it a little bit from last year.

He ran over and he found his nutcracker ornament. And then Sarah said she turned around and the next thing she knew he was grabbing, Grace is about seven and a half months old. He was dragging her little bouncy chair over to the tree and turning it. And he was saying, "Look, Grace, look, it's the Christmas tree." And so he was sharing the wonder of, and it had nothing on it but lights and his one little ornament.

So I think it's a really good reminder that beautiful things are simple things to our kids. Let me ask you this. 'Cause I know, I mean, it's crazy now. I went in the store the other day and like the day after Halloween, all the Christmas candy was out. It's crazy.

So, I mean, there's all kinds of holiday cues around that make our kids think, "Woohoo, it's holiday playtime now." But we're all still trying to finish out our fall semester. We're trying to finish strong and finish well. Did you keep doing schoolwork over the holidays? Like between Thanksgiving and Christmas, did you do school?

- I think this was really helpful for me because at first I was just reaction like, "Oh, we're gonna do school until," I was very mindset, "Until the 15th." And then- - Yes. - And I realized that that was not really healthy for our family that my husband teaches.

So that's like a heavy grading period. So he's distracted and he's tired. And holidays, you take on another set of tasks that you enjoy doing as a mom of, or I don't know about you, our traditional homes, you're probably the one that sort of plans out the month of December.

And I just realized that was, that was, and a wiser person has told me that is a significant part of nurturing your home. So please allow time for that. So the best thing I did was to actually say, "This is when we stop." And not do this wiggly kind of like, "Oh, we'll do a math lesson here and we'll do a, you know, read that book." And so, nope, we're finished with school.

Usually at the end of November, we took a few weeks. Now, as they went through high school and they handled their, they had an idea of what they wanted to do, of course, and their school does go. But for, I just shifted and said, "Okay, for several years, we made our quote school, like what are Christmas traditions?" One year we did other countries as we'd been in CC.

So, you know, what did they do in Switzerland and what do they do? And, you know, get their shoes out and, you know, eat different foods. You know, we, I kind of saw that as an opportunity to really understand, to incorporate just the beauty of the world, you know, realize opportunities to be outside, to visit people, to minister to people.

There were opportunities within our church of going to visit a nursing home. We did a few years, we did just ringing those simple little bells and singing. And those things do require time. And that means something else needs to be put aside. And that doesn't mean I'm a failure.

It just means, but somehow having it in my mind that that is my intent of doing it. I've done it badly where I've just like, you know, kicking against the goads, we're gonna do school. - Right, right. - No one's happy. I'm not happy. I feel like I've failed because I didn't, I thought, oh dear, you know, we're gonna have to go to this service project now.

It's gonna take off. - Right, yes. - It's kind of ridiculous. So I just realized this is a gift to our family and not be driven by the curriculum, but actually say, nope, this is our holiday and this is how we're gonna shift focus and spend time with the Lord.

And like even the Christmas story, not giving things short shrift because I'm too preoccupied with what I think, quote, I think should be my agenda. So yes, we took a significant time off at Christmas and I would encourage people to take time off after Christmas and help people kind of onboard into the school year.

They, usually they're overtired and they need rest. - Yes, oh, that's so true. You have said so many good things, Amy. I wanna highlight them 'cause I don't want us to just gloss over. One of the best things that you just said was, you know, we can be intentional about taking a break.

I think that so often we are not satisfied because we haven't fully embraced one or the other. Either do school, you know, do your assignments, continue with your math lesson or continue with your geography practice or continue with your memorization facts or stop and do something totally different. Do Christmas traditions around the world.

You know, bake a nativity out of clay or gingerbread. Embrace something completely different. And 'cause you're right. When we sort of do school and we sort of take a break, we fully don't enjoy it. - Right, that's exactly right. - That's been my experience. I don't enjoy the break and I don't feel good about the quote, unquote, work that we do.

So it is really okay to take a break. The times that people are the most disappointed I have discovered are when their expectations aren't met. And so if we expect that we're gonna get just as much done as we always do in that run up to the holidays, then we're doomed because all kinds of things come up, all kinds of invitations, all kinds of special services or special projects or visitors or invitations come and we just are left feeling like we're a failure.

- Yeah, and we really do miss opportunities. - Yes. - We don't, the lack of flexibility, you know, we've been, when we become so rigid about what must happen, you know, when there is some serendipitous event or like even with Gideon spinning, like everyone just enjoying the tree, you know, it's not just about, okay, it's up, click, check, done.

- Yeah, yes, exactly. - Let's sit and have some hot cocoa today. And unless, and just, and I think asking, especially when the kids get a little older, like 10 or 11, just being very conscious that they have their own expectations for Christmas. It's not just gifts. It could be maybe some expectations of just being with other people or being quiet.

I have a quiet one who likes, he doesn't like a lot of activity. I had another one who is super social and wanted people in all the time. And just being very mindful. This is not, I think the one thing I learned that this is not my Christmas. It's just like when I learned, this is not my house.

- Yes. - This is our Christmas. This is our home and to be very open with the Lord and recognizing he has in mind, he shepherds us. He has in mind a Christmas he would like to offer us. He has in mind people he would like for us to be with.

He has times of prayer, maybe a meaningful conversation, maybe some fun activity that's funny and brings us together or makes a memory. He has that eternal perspective that I don't have. So I think just at times just opening my hands and saying when things, especially that usually happens when things don't go my way.

- Yes, yes. - Open my hands and say, how can I receive from you what you have for us this Christmas? Because it is such a meaningful time and I just tend to be a cluttered person to clutter our life with activity and what I think is better instead of just being open to the Lord and really trusting him with Christmas.

Christmas comes with pressures, financial pressures. It comes with pressures with maybe it highlights, unfortunately in my family at times it did, family disagreements or stresses within families, especially extended families. It's not the Hallmark Christmas movie. Sometimes people are depressed. They struggle with anxiety at Christmas. They get lonely at Christmas.

So to be mindful as a person in the home, as a mom, to be mindful that we have the privilege of just being conscious, a person conscious of that and bringing that to prayer. Instead of being afraid or anxious or irritated or short tempered to really say, Lord, you have crafted our family.

You've crafted this event. Would you please help us during the season to follow you and be very conscious of watching for how he brings delight. It's always more than we expect. - Yes, yes. - So we can trust him. So I think when I settled that. - Right, well, because that's the, when we fill our minds with all these expectations of what we're gonna do and how it's gonna look and how it's gonna turn out and how people are going to love it.

And then it turns out that they don't love it or it didn't work out that way. Or we never got around to fill in the blank. Then we're disappointed. And as moms, a lot of times we're the thermostat. And so when we're disappointed or anxious or even angry about how something worked or didn't work, then that gets passed on to the people in our house.

And that leads me to something I really wanted to ask you about. The holidays, it's usually not just our family that we have around. The holidays are sometimes compounded by the fact that we're adding people to our home. We have guests, we have visitors that are coming in. And sometimes it's grandma and grandpa and we're so excited to see them.

Or it's people that we see fairly often, but this is a special circumstance. But sometimes the guests are people we don't know well. Or especially think about it for your children. Maybe they've only seen great-aunt Martha twice in their four years and they only remember it once and it wasn't that much fun the first time.

Or for a lot of our families, they are blended families. And so maybe you're seeing step-siblings or step-grandparents or half-sisters or brothers that you don't know well. How can we manage that? How do you draw guests into your family rhythms? Even if you've come to grips with your holiday expectations and your family is just happy to find the serendipity moment and everybody's good.

And you have made a commitment not to overschedule and overdo and plan too much. And you're just gonna keep it simple. How do you draw your guests into that? - I think, first of all, to know that Christ says we are light and we are salt. So that doesn't disappear when Christmas comes.

And two, I think, like you said, as a mom, you're setting a tone. And so we practice our disciplines of thankfulness instead of complaining. That we practice faith and trust instead of being anxious and worried. So-and-so always complains about the whatever. We have to take care of, this is difficult.

This takes up time. They're just things that we have to plan for. So I think for us to just incorporate them just like you would. I keep thinking of the Israelites when they would celebrate Passover. And if there was an alien, I think it says, calls a refugee or a servant in your home, that they were invited to the table.

They were invited into the tradition. They were invited into the story of Christ. And so I think for us, not to say, well, even if you have an unbelieving family members, that just to be really natural and invite them into all the pieces and parts of tradition, allowing them to be there.

Or not if they feel uncomfortable, 'cause of course you don't wanna beat people over the head. But I feel like we tried to, we prayed at meals. We just prayed. We read the Christmas story. We read the night before Christmas. We ate candy and just being inviting. You are welcome at our table.

And you are, and we wanna hear also listening to tell us a story about a Christmas you enjoyed or what are traditions. If there's something, well, they enjoy, like they always like in the South, it's a wet dressing or dry dressing. Well, if they're a wet dressing person, make a pan of wet dressing.

Just make efforts to bridge maybe or mend fences. If there needs to be some fences mended, but also just welcoming people to the table. And if you recognize there's someone that is kind of feeling a little down or as people do or a little left out, invite them to be drawn in, but also give them the space to just be there.

And I think that just prayer always. And I think one of the things that was a struggle for me is I was just preoccupied and that's when I missed. I mean, I could think back, I can remember conversations I missed that they were giving me all sorts of hints, and I was too busy, making a sugar cookie or something.

- Yes, yes. - And I didn't stop and look at them. And that happens with your kids. I think what I noticed, especially with my sons, they're not gonna demand my attention. They're going to- - They do, if they have to work too hard for it, they might give up.

- It's not, well, I don't. And you know, so- - You don't. - I don't, and so I don't expect them to come after me. And so I think just settling like, okay, who's in my home? What's, I'm not, I love what we were reading in our book. I'm not responsible for this person's happiness.

I'm responsible to this person to be gracious. And that's very, those are very different things. And that relieves us a lot. I'm not responsible for your happiness 'cause some people just aren't gonna feel happy or encouraged. - Right, right. Well, you can't make other people happy. - No, no, you can't.

- You can provide an atmosphere or an opportunity that will lead them to find joy if they will. - Yes, yes, yes. - Yeah, that's really good. That's really good. I think that we end up having lots of people like at our house, this Thanksgiving, our list just keeps growing, okay?

So it was the year we weren't, our girls were supposed to be with their in-laws. But one of my daughters is gonna be here, but it turns out that now her in-laws are actually coming to be in our house too. And one of her brother-in-laws and his child are coming.

And then a nephew is bringing his fiance, but also her mother. And then we're having my daughter, my daughter whose family will not be with us for Thanksgiving. Her sister-in-law and little children will be with us. And so we have, somebody said to me just the other day, well, that's kind of a motley crowd there, isn't it?

And I said, you know what? It's gonna be a lot of fun though, because some of these people are from different parts of the country. And so I'm very excited to find out, so what's your regular Thanksgiving tradition? What do you guys usually do? And I think in situations where we end up with a motley crew at our table, or you end up at somebody else's house that you don't know well, with a bunch of people that you don't know well, what's a girl to do?

Well, the power of a well-timed question cannot be underestimated. So think in advance, what are some things that you, think about what you would like to share? What do you wish somebody would ask you and give you a chance to share a special holiday memory? So ask those kinds of questions, because all that usually, and for some reason we frequently end up with motley crews of people at our house on holidays.

And so I have been so blessed over the years to look out and see these new relationships that have been forged between people who, if they had not both ended up at our house for a holiday, they would have never have known each other. Because somebody asked a question and got them talking, they have found all manner of things in common.

And all manner of things to be interested in, in one another. Another thing, Amy, that I have found, and I'd love to know if this is true for you, that I have found that breaks the ice, is to give everybody a job. - Yes, yes, I agree. - Why is that so freeing, do you think?

- I think it levels the playing field a little bit. I feel like there's a difference between hosting and entertaining. You know, we don't have, I don't have like in the 1800 servants that are seating you at the table. And I don't want to, and otherwise if I'm doing it alone, I'm very flurried because it's a big, it's an undertaking to feed 15 or 20 people.

That's a lot. So having particular jobs, now there are jobs that I go, I'd really rather do that myself. - Exactly. But you know those jobs, you know what will stress you to pass on, and that would just be a blessing to somebody. - Yeah, or have them bring something.

Even a person, we have an older single man that has come to dinner to us, and I'm like, can you bring a loaf of bread? You know, it's something that you don't have to cook, you don't have to ask. You know, can you bring me cans of cranberry sauce?

Can you help me put that in a bowl? And also your expectation is to include and have fun. Like as they're chopping vegetables or arranging, give them a job like, hey, can you arrange these carrots and celery on a dish? And if they're nervous or I've had guests like, oh, how do you want it?

Like, I don't care. You know, you have the freedom to make it fun. You know, and I think that that includes people. A good friend of ours, they always had a puzzle out. - Oh, yes. - Because some people she said are shy and quiet, but they can sit around and put together a puzzle with some other people.

And you can have a little conversation and it's off to the side. - Right, or a new conversation and just be together. - Yes, yes. So I think that's to me what that, you know, asking people to help means. And you can kind of pick up on who's comfortable with that and who's maybe that's not their thing, you know.

So you can just invite them. But I think that's always fun because you're not the one, I guess I just don't, I'm just so unavailable otherwise. - Right, I agree. I get really busy on Thanksgiving before it's get, you know, 15 minutes down, you know, 15 minutes from eat time.

I am busy and I don't really want to talk to you about all the things. I want to do all the things. So yes, having things, activities that have put other people to work or given them something to do happily is really, really good. Go ahead. - It's still going to be crazy.

Things are still going to happen. And things are not going to be up to what your expectations are. Are things are going to get spilt? Or it's going to get burned? Or someone's going to forget? Are someone else's kids are going to drive you crazy? I mean, it's just-- - Yes, it's going to happen.

- I think it's like you keep putting that relationship, those relationships front and center. What is eternal here? - Yes, yes. - And keep, as someone told me, keep the long view. When they leave the house, they want, you want them to leave feeling loved, well-loved, if you can.

- Not like they were an imposition or they stayed too long or ate too much or their children did X. You want them to think, man, I felt part of that family. That was fun. I would do that again. And who knows, maybe that's why you end up with a motley crew of people that come back.

So who knows? - Exactly. - I know we are looking, we're talking about, y'all, ways to simplify things. Simplify your school routine. Simplify your holiday celebration. Simplify your hosting. And as I was thinking about this, Amy, I thought, man, those scribbler's verbs that we worked on all those, that time back, those scribbler's verbs are really applicable and they're not just for four to eight-year-olds, y'all.

The scribbler's verbs are awesome. They help us relax while we are doing things with purpose and we are playing with intention. And they're not just for little people. They can help us do life together in a way that really covers all the bases while we are still essentially playing and taking breaks.

So Amy, help us, I want you, okay, remind people what the scribbler's verbs are. And then for the last minutes that you and I have together, we are gonna brainstorm some ways that each one of these verbs can help us embrace the holidays together, drawing families together, including our guests.

So how can we draw our families and draw our guests into the celebration of the season using scribbler's verbs? Okay, so tell us what they are first and then we'll start one by one. - I love that. And there's one word that is in every one of the verbs.

So we pray together, we play together, we read together, we explore together, and we serve together. And that is because our relationships are what, I love that in the, this is in the scribbler's guide, our relationships draw us into learning. And I think that that being together, so praying, just what we are, we do, starting our day, those rhythms of the day of incorporating each one of these as we move through the day and recognizing when that happens.

Sometimes that's really intentional on our part. And other times we can just delightfully go, wow, we just read something together and I didn't have to put it on a list. We just met. - Yes, it just happened. It became part of the family rhythm. And that is very relaxing.

It's very refreshing. I love what you said. It doesn't have to be a plan. That, I am a planner. I mean, I have a list. My kids, one time, one of my girl's friends said, I bet your mom has a list of lists. And my daughter very seriously said, oh, she does.

It's that blue book right there. And I was like, oh my gosh, I do. I have a list, a book that's a list of my list. But everything doesn't have to be planned. And if you develop a family rhythm of these five things, you will discover that your life has become enriched and you are intentionally doing these things, but you didn't have to plan it.

So let's talk about, so we're thinking together about ways that we can, first of all, let's do pray together. And these are ways that you as your family can, and you could do this all through the year. It doesn't have to just be at the holidays, but if you're trying to simplify for the holiday, but you feel compelled to make sure that you're doing things together and that you are teaching your children about the power of routine and the power of a learning relational rhythm where you do life together.

This is a great place to start. So let's start with praying. Amy, how can we teach our children to pray for all their circles of people? And by circles, I mean, your children, the people in your home, when their kids are little, they start by praying for their family and then they pray for their extended family and then their friends, and then they'll pray for people in their neighborhood or at church.

So how do we teach our children to pray for all their circles? - I think, first we model, by example, that prayer is just the opportunity to talk directly with the Lord and be honest before him. But I think it is helpful to help children understand that prayer is a conversation with the Lord.

And so that means I'm still or quiet. I think posture, if you want them to fold their hands because they're not punching or pinching. - Oh, yeah. - And if you want them to bow their heads or kneel, just thinking through just how we approach the Lord and that's just your family tradition.

And then I always thought it was a neat idea to have something like a physical. So there's this nice little, Child Evangelism Fellowship has the praying hand. - Oh, yeah. - It was like your little finger 'cause you're a small person that you can pray for yourself. Like what's on your mind?

Sometimes we skip that. - Oh, yeah. - You pray for yourself. What are some things you're worried about or maybe things you're thankful for or you want? You know, our little ones we're always praying for Christmas, you know. - Yes, yes. - That's okay. God is very gracious and we pray for things too.

So just asking for it. And then like their little, their ring finger, that's a weak finger. So pray for people that you know need help. Who are some help that people that you think, and you'll be surprised at who they bring up that they are aware of that need help, that are struggling.

And then your, like your middle finger, people who are your helpers, like people who are like your parents or your Sunday school teacher or your tutor. Think about people or your pastor, people that are your helpers and pray for them. And then I love the pointer is that those who point me to Christ.

- Oh, that's good. - To pray for your pastor or pray for your, maybe a leader in your children's church or think, and you'll be surprised, even your tutor, like praying for your, we would pray, you know, a dad at the scout master or something. You know, it's interesting who comes up, who are the people that point you to Christ.

And then your thumb is the people who are the closest to you. And so it's like your family or your, you know, and occasionally they would pray for each other. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - But just having a little, just even helping them with that structure or even teaching the Lord's prayer, or I think some of it is teaching and instruction and modeling and then letting them bring their own.

And of course, it's lovely. Like you can have a bowl on the table and you can pick, you know, you can have a Thanksgiving bowl. - Oh, that's good, yeah. - That's what you thanks God for. You can pull a bowl where you pull somebody's name out of the hat, let them put some people name and you pray for them that day.

You can ask if there are particular answers to prayer. I think that's something we did, kept a little quick journal. Like we pray for this and where's the answer? You know, watching for that and seeing how God. So those are things that I think just keeping, prayer is very personal.

And I think not making it something where, if someone's not comfortable praying, little guys, you know, singing a song instead or not, and just, or praying for them. You know, I think being really sweet and, you know, putting your arm around them, praying for them when they've had a hard time, or sometimes we'd pray before one particular child had a math.

- Yes, yes. - And so we just pray over like, Lord, would you help us with this and help us to not be worried or anxious and just a simple prayer. - Yeah, and so many of those things you can do, even when you have guests in your home, you can incorporate people into that.

Everybody understands a thankful bowl where you put in a blessing. Or one thing that our family has done is when we get Christmas cards through the year, I put them in a basket and then we pray at night. - Nice, yes. - At our evening meal and sometimes afterwards, we pray for the cards that we pray for the families.

And so everybody can do that. And, you know, there's always card, I pick a card and my kids are like, who is that? Why are we praying for that? They don't remember these distant relatives or these college roommates. And so it's easy to include other people in those kinds of activities.

And I think it's lovely. People like being drawn into your family rhythms, especially if they're not pressured to participate. So like if they don't want to pray out loud, then we never do that, but we ask them to be with us as we pray. And I just, I think that's really good.

One of the things that I love doing is that you could do as a family is like make a prayer journal. It is very encouraging for young children to see that, oh look, five pages back, there was this request and we prayed for it as a family and look what God has done.

- Yes, yes. - And if you don't write it down, sometimes you, I have been shocked sometimes when I've gone back through a journal and seen how many times God answered something that I just kind of rattled off 'cause I had to say something. God bless this or God take care of that.

And then, you know, eight pages ahead, I look back and God has done all these things. - Yes. - And just to see the hand of God. And okay, how do we play together? How can play be a way that we learn about the Lord or learn about our family or learn about ourselves?

How can play help us? - Oh, I think having, first of all, the spirit of playfulness and humor. - Yes, I love it. - And just that things are silly. You know, Christmas isn't just, you know, we're just gonna think about, you know, Jesus, no offense. We do wanna think about Jesus, but there's so much delight and there's good food and there's beauty.

And all of that are blessings from the Lord. So recognizing that we can have humor. And I always felt like it was nice to keep things pretty simple, like play a game together that's not highly competitive. Now, my boys would play highly competitive. - Oh my gosh, yes, yes.

- With these long board games. No, I did not do that. But if you wanna play like old mates or especially for little guys, like a matching game. Like sometimes we made those stickers that were, you know, Christmas stickers and put 'em on index cards. - You know what, Amy, you said a matching game.

One thing that I did when my girls were really little, before the holidays, I would, now, okay, admittedly, this is back in the day when you had film developed, okay? So that's how old I am. But I would take pictures of family members that we were gonna see that I knew they probably didn't remember.

And I made a matching game out of 'em. Like I would cover the back of it with a piece of felt. And then we probably had a concentration game. So they got to see, this is Aunt Michelle. This is, you know, this is Uncle John. Oh, that's Nana and Raleigh.

That's Pawpaw, you know? So they would identify those. So yeah, matching games are awesome for that. - Are so fun. And you can get pretty cheap photographs from your digital stuff now. - Yeah, you certainly can. - And that makes it really fun. And sometimes we made, one of the things Witt really loved is we made like a folder.

We took a manila folder and made our own game where it was let's find dad or something. I can't remember. It was like, and it was hilarious because some of the things, like dad's lost his, you know, whatever, glasses. And so it was long, you know? And it was like, we rolled the dice and you'd have to go back and, you know, make him a hot cup of tea.

You know, it was just something very goofy, but any, and it wasn't about winning it, but it was, and it was just fun. Like something where people can sit around the table and that's where like simple puzzles and everyone's invited, especially, and little guys can sit on your lap, you know, like they can play or not.

You can modify. - Yes, yes. - You can apply the rules, you know? And, but just getting people together or making something like really making cookies or popcorn or do something where you're playfully incorporating other people. You're doing it together. So you would like for people to be together.

- Yes, where the process is the point, not the product, okay? So that we are just all participating in this silly activity. It's not about what we make or what we've created at the end. You know, moms, if you are really, if you really want, if you just really need to bring some of that academic stuff in, let your littlest learners share one or two weeks worth of the timeline.

- Yes. - With grownups and let them lead the grownups in a memory game. You talk about leveling the playing field, that will sure do it. And so everybody can, all the grownups can learn together and the little kids can be in charge. And they might truly love that.

That's super fun. So play, you already mentioned some things that you can read together. You can have, you can even let people put in a pile. We used to do this. We let everybody put in five things, five stories or five books that they love. And we would take turns reading from those things.

- If you have, and traditional stories that you just read every year, even if kids roll their eyes after a while. It's so fun. We always read "The Night Before Christmas" and we always read "The Miracle of Jonathan Toomey" and we always read "And Wood Always Cries" and "It Was So Lovely" and, you know, and we read "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever." You know, if there's certain things that catch your fancy and if they don't, you can put them aside.

But I think that having reading, and then I think part of the reading is, as we're doing the Christmas story, just really embellishing that with like acting it out or having someone narrate. Hey, have your littlest one narrate it back. You know, tell me what's your favorite part of the Christmas story and share that one evening.

I mean, you, it's just so fun. Just ask a good question. Hey, what, who's your favorite character in the Christmas story, why? And then if you have a crush, we always had, you know, different ones around that you kids could actually, you know, play with, you know, not super fancy.

And just using that and just talking about that story, that is such a beautiful story. And then just talking about the parts of the story, have someone narrate parts of it back, picking out who their favorite is, their favorite animal at the crash. Uh-huh, yep. Like I found, you know, dinosaurs in the crash.

Oh my gosh, that is so funny. I found Lego man in the crash. That is so fun. Mm-hmm, and I think just making it, yeah, that playful, joyfulness of spirit. I know that one of my girls' best memories was one that really got me worried when I, when they were little, they were like two and four.

I think they were two and four. And we lived in a parsonage that was heated with oil and it had a blower and we had a terrible storm and the power went out. And in our house, if the power was out, the blower did not work and so we had no heat.

And so the girls, it was Christmas Eve and the girls were in the bathtub. It was in the daytime. I don't even know why I was washing their hair in the daytime. They were in the bathtub and the power went utterly out and the bathroom had no natural light.

So they just thought this was a big hoot. And I, of course, was stroking out because I'm thinking, it's cold, my children are gonna catch pneumonia for Christmas. So, I mean, David was building a fire and they, we, you know, pulled them out of the bathtub and had to dry their hair with towels.

Of course, no hairdryer would work without power. In front of the fire and we put blankets out and we brought some of their toys in. They thought this was like the best thing ever 'cause daddy is playing with us and we're getting to bring our big toys into the living room and we're in front of the fire.

And so their favorite thing we decided, 'cause it was lasting a long time, so we acted out the Christmas story. - Oh, yes. - And they went and got all manner of props and things, then drug it into my clean living room. And they look back on that as one of their most fun things.

And we spent hours telling the story over and over till we can get it just right for the older one, had to be just right. And everybody had to do their part just right. So we actually eventually ended up filming that. David's parents came the next day and we acted it out and we have that.

Papa put it on video for us. And so that's a way, that's a story. That is a story they had read a hundred times. And so they knew what the story was. And so you can act it out. You can draw pictures of it. - Oh, yes. - You can make a movie of it.

You can do a radio play. Your kids will get into telling the stories and reading stories in different ways. That is so awesome. I love the whole idea of exploring together. And something that you said at the beginning, Amy, about just using it as a time to explore God's creation.

- Yes. - Really absorbing the beauty of this season outside. But how else can we, can explore be one of those verbs that draws a family together? - Well, you know, there is the outside. You know, you can also, it's a quiet season. You know, there's usually not a lot of people at the parks or anything like that.

It's a good place. And the birds need to be fed. And little creatures, you can hide. They're hiding and sleeping. So those are good things to do. But inside, and you're doing more inside things. I would say instead of keeping it like, oh, we're gonna do an activity now.

Think through what are the activities that I have to do? Like, am I gonna make a jam for, you know, a gift? Or am I gonna assemble something in the kitchen? Am I gonna cook something that I don't normally cook? Then bring them in and start having conversations about, well, why do we put baking soda in this cake?

And, you know, you can incorporate them into the exploring like the different spices. And let's look up where these spices are from. Let's explore that a little bit or let them pick something out that maybe they would like to cook or make. And that you can incorporate that in the day.

That's very science-y. You can incorporate, you can do a million things with just getting a hundred coffee filters. - Ooh, that's very true. - And clothespins and make a bazillion either, well, you can either say they're angels or butterflies. It doesn't matter. - Yes, yes. - And if you just watch, you know, dip it in water and watch the colors bleed, you know, get some Epsom salt.

That's the cheapest form of glitter you're gonna find. Make, look at it, watch it dissolve. Does it dissolve easily in hot water or cold water? You know, melt stuff, make cookies like those stained glass cookies where you put cookies in and watch it melt. You know, just what is hot chocolate?

You know, making things and just recognizing how do your senses, what do you smell? And if you want to put like, let's put a candy cane in this one and let's put, you know, sprinkles in that one. And just how do they taste differently and why do they taste?

And just, I think is sometimes we add a lot of things that may be recognizing, oh, we've got to make all those extra presents. You know, the presents that you make for all the extra people in your life. Well, incorporate them in helping you make those presents. There's nothing more encouraging than getting a salt door Christmas ornament.

You know, that is really, that is so much fun. And to see this as a homemade gift and it's something that you did with your kids in your home. And there's so many things. I mean, I would avoid Pinterest and so on. - Right, right. - But also just glance over things that you think, ooh, that would be a really easy thing to do and get the kids around.

Also, one thing is since we're in community for those 12 weeks, as you're in community, circle those experiments that they love. - Yes, redo something you explored over the semester. And yeah, I love that. - Yes, that is so fun. - There are lots of times that our children are super interested in what we're doing right now.

And in the heat of the semester, we say, but we must move on. - Yes. - We must move on when really, we don't must do anything really. So go back, go back to those things that people still had an interest in or still had a question. This goes for younger children and older children.

There are grownups that whose interest was piqued by a history sentence or by something that their challenge student was researching. And you had more questions, but not enough time to chase those rabbits. Chase the rabbit all holiday season. Let it be a chasing of the rabbits and explore together all of the things that people wondered about and you didn't have time to satisfy the curiosity.

That's an awesome way to do that. Okay, serve. Where does serving begin, Amy? - Oh, well, first in your home. You know, when you do chores, you're serving your family. And to help them see that there are opportunities that you can lighten the load. Christ lightens our load. He bears our burdens.

And so to recognize and that service is not just, you know, it can be collecting food at a food bank. You know, it can be where you do it together as a family, but making the connection with the people you're serving. So that can be a visit to a neighbor.

I mean, last Christmas, all the kids were like, we were getting squirrely and was like, all right, put on your jacket. We're gonna walk up and down. It was like, are you kidding? We're gonna walk up and down the street and we're gonna sing carols. No, we are not singers.

And we had like seven down to one. So we went to our neighbors and knocked on their door. We have several that live alone. And we just kind of sang. It was kind of awkward because I wanted to sing kind of weird Christmas songs. We sang them with, we were boisterously saying, we made noise.

And then we had some kids. One of my granddaughters said, let's give them a candy cane 'cause she loves candy canes. So we gave them a little candy cane. And you know, that was, they had the best time. And it was so easy. And just making a connection with the person that we're helping or we're serving.

I think sitting with someone, you know, just sitting, visiting, nursing home. We had one very close by that we would just go and like hand, give them something to do though. Don't like hand them a card that you made or something. But I think that helps. I think helping children recognize that they have something to offer to someone else that is a good taste of what serving is about.

So, and of course you can do Operation Christmas Child Boxes and you can be involved in your church's activities. But I like having the connection with the people that we're serving. - One of the best ways to begin this is at the holiday season when you teach your children, little children and older children, that they serve your family's guests well when they draw them into your family.

So practice how to talk to strangers. Practice with your little children. What do you say when you meet someone? What's a good question that you could ask somebody else so they will tell you about themselves. When we teach our children to love well the people that come to our home, we are serving them.

And that's a beautiful way for us, especially during the holidays, to welcome people to our home and to love them. Amy, thank you so much. I feel like we have lots of good ideas together about how to simplify the holidays but make it deeply meaningful, both for our families and for people who join us.

I hope, listeners, that you have enjoyed this podcast and that maybe you'll go back and listen to it again or pass it on to a friend who's wondering what to do with the Motley crew, that they have a symbol for the holidays. I know that life is busy, but people are looking for good ideas.

And I also want to let you guys know that our podcast is a wealth of interesting and mostly good ideas, but there's another place that you can listen for great ideas. Even when you're busy, you don't have to miss out some of our catalog articles in the upcoming 2025 Classical Conversations catalog, such as The Need for Community and His Grace is Sufficient and Skills to Love Your Neighbor, which goes right along with this podcast.

Those articles can actually be listened to as well as read. So you can actually download audio versions of articles from the catalog and listen to them while you're in the car, while you're working out, while you're baking for the holidays. You can even forward an episode to your friend.

You can listen wherever you stream podcasts. You just search for Classical Conversations catalog podcast, okay? Or you can go to classicalconversations/catalog-articles.com. But anywhere you search for podcasts, you can find it under Classical Conversations catalog podcast. So add that to your playlist and I will see you guys next week.

Happy holidays. (upbeat music) you you