Everyday Educator - Savoring Moments with Lisa Bailey
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - Our host of the "Everyday Educator" podcast, Lisa Bailey,
00:00:07.680 | has chosen a special episode for you to enjoy.
00:00:11.240 | Thanks for listening.
00:00:12.300 | And as always, we hope that you continue
00:00:14.320 | to encourage one another, learn together,
00:00:16.760 | and ponder the delights and challenges
00:00:19.400 | that make homeschooling the adventure of a lifetime.
00:00:22.700 | - You know, that was sometimes, frankly,
00:00:25.240 | one of the most bittersweet parts of my children growing up
00:00:29.240 | was realizing that there need to be boundaries
00:00:34.040 | as they grow about how much I tell them to do,
00:00:38.680 | how much I'm in charge.
00:00:40.920 | And that boundary needs to kind of, it starts to wiggle.
00:00:45.560 | - Hey, I'm Delise.
00:00:46.880 | - And I'm Jenny.
00:00:47.840 | We know that parenting comes in seasons
00:00:49.960 | and even the smallest ones deserve a happy dance.
00:00:52.980 | - Join us as we chat with moms
00:00:54.720 | in every stage of the parenting journey,
00:00:56.840 | fixing our eyes on Jesus each step of the way.
00:00:59.960 | - This is "Blessings and Motherhood"
00:01:02.120 | because we believe that you can hold tissues
00:01:04.160 | and confetti at the same time.
00:01:06.020 | - Hey guys, welcome back to another episode
00:01:10.440 | of "Blessings and Motherhood."
00:01:12.000 | Today, we are super excited to get to talk with Lisa Bailey.
00:01:16.240 | - Yeah, Lisa Bailey has been working
00:01:18.020 | with Classical Conversations for a very long time.
00:01:20.620 | And if you are not a homeschooling mom, I want you to pause.
00:01:23.280 | Do not stop the episode.
00:01:25.220 | The other really huge and exciting aspect
00:01:28.000 | of this conversation we're about to have with her
00:01:29.560 | is actually that she's a grandmother.
00:01:31.480 | Lisa drops so many beautiful nuggets about being a parent,
00:01:36.480 | about living in the moment, about regrets,
00:01:39.720 | or even things that the Lord has taught her over the years.
00:01:42.480 | And one of my favorite things that she shares
00:01:45.160 | is her grandparent name.
00:01:46.760 | We will not spoil it for you,
00:01:48.520 | but you're gonna wanna listen,
00:01:49.760 | even if it's just for a little idea for the future.
00:01:52.440 | - It is amazing, you guys.
00:01:53.800 | Definitely, don't stop.
00:01:55.420 | Don't stop the episode, just keep going.
00:01:57.080 | It's awesome. - Yeah.
00:01:58.000 | - Yeah, so without further ado,
00:02:00.120 | here is our conversation with Lisa.
00:02:02.200 | - All right, everybody, so we are so excited
00:02:05.440 | to have Lisa Bailey here on the podcast today.
00:02:09.100 | Lisa, for our listeners who do not know you,
00:02:11.700 | and you are a legend among Classical Conversations people.
00:02:15.300 | - Yes.
00:02:16.140 | - Introduce yourself, tell us about your season of life.
00:02:18.900 | What's going on with you these days?
00:02:20.300 | - Well, I don't know if I should be flattered or chagrined
00:02:24.100 | to be called a legend.
00:02:25.500 | (all laughing)
00:02:26.700 | - It's a good thing.
00:02:27.660 | - I will tell you that I've been around
00:02:30.700 | Classical Conversations for a long time,
00:02:33.380 | so maybe that affords me legend status.
00:02:36.580 | My family found Classical Conversations in 2004,
00:02:42.620 | when my daughters were fifth grade and second grade,
00:02:48.300 | and my husband and I had been homeschooling them
00:02:50.700 | the whole time and had been trying to recreate
00:02:54.500 | what I now know as a classical education on our own.
00:02:59.340 | And we were doing okay, but as I looked ahead
00:03:03.500 | to the high school, the junior high and high school years,
00:03:06.220 | I was getting a little nervous
00:03:08.380 | about how well I could do that.
00:03:10.340 | And when I was introduced to CC by some friends
00:03:14.620 | who had older students, I was mesmerized
00:03:19.180 | by the plan that I saw laid out.
00:03:22.000 | And really the challenge program is what hooked my husband.
00:03:26.620 | What hooked me was somebody had done
00:03:30.220 | some really good planning.
00:03:32.820 | It was everything that I had wanted my girls to know
00:03:35.820 | in the way I was excited to teach them.
00:03:39.100 | And so we jumped in at that level.
00:03:41.940 | I started tutoring Challenge B
00:03:43.780 | 'cause I actually like junior high students.
00:03:47.100 | And I loved mock trial.
00:03:49.140 | I loved doing logic with them.
00:03:50.860 | And I've sat in a lot of seats
00:03:54.660 | on the CC bus through the years.
00:03:57.660 | I've been in some state management leadership roles.
00:04:00.940 | I've served as a Challenge B program manager.
00:04:04.080 | Most recently, well, I worked on practicum for years.
00:04:09.100 | And so some people know me from kind of creating
00:04:13.420 | the practicums and then training the speakers
00:04:16.180 | for those events for about seven years.
00:04:18.820 | And most recently I have come to rest
00:04:23.580 | in the curriculum development team
00:04:26.440 | where I am blessed to get paid real money
00:04:31.080 | to read and write and encourage parents.
00:04:34.660 | And I have spent most of the last year
00:04:39.560 | working on a brand new piece of curriculum
00:04:41.860 | that you guys have talked about before,
00:04:44.060 | Scribblers at Home, Recipes from Lifelong Learners,
00:04:47.940 | which actually is the perfect place for me
00:04:51.100 | because I get to encourage parents
00:04:53.940 | and play with little kids and develop tools
00:04:58.340 | that I know are gonna bless families.
00:05:00.540 | And that's really what's close to my heart
00:05:02.580 | after all these years with CC.
00:05:04.460 | - I love that.
00:05:05.780 | And you also have another new role
00:05:08.180 | if my memory serves me right, right?
00:05:10.820 | Lisa, you have just become a grandmother, right?
00:05:14.100 | - Yes, I've just become a grandmother, our first grandson.
00:05:18.900 | My husband, David and I have two lovely daughters
00:05:22.620 | and now we have one handsome grandson who was born in June
00:05:27.060 | and we have really relished our new roles as grandparents.
00:05:32.060 | It's been great.
00:05:33.460 | - That's awesome.
00:05:34.300 | It's funny how the Lord brought you right now
00:05:36.700 | to the role of writing Scribblers,
00:05:38.780 | which is for the younger children.
00:05:41.780 | And He has given you one to just start fresh with, right?
00:05:45.220 | As a grandparent.
00:05:46.300 | - I know, I just think he probably was laughing
00:05:49.060 | the whole time because I started working on Scribblers
00:05:52.020 | before Gideon was a twinkle in his parents' eye.
00:05:56.500 | And so it is really cool to me to think
00:05:59.860 | that I had a hand in something
00:06:03.620 | that I know we'll be using with him.
00:06:06.820 | - That is awesome.
00:06:08.260 | Well, tell me a little bit about when you first found out
00:06:11.100 | you were going to be a grandmother.
00:06:12.780 | Like what came into your mind?
00:06:14.900 | What were you excited about?
00:06:16.380 | What were you maybe fearful about?
00:06:18.260 | What were your thoughts?
00:06:19.620 | - Well, I was super excited to be a grandmother.
00:06:23.380 | I have friends who have welcomed grandchildren
00:06:26.700 | and they have said to me, "Oh, this is the best."
00:06:29.740 | You thought you loved your children unconditionally,
00:06:32.900 | but just wait until you have a grandchild.
00:06:36.420 | And so I was really, I'll be really frank with you guys.
00:06:40.060 | Through the years, the Lord has taught me so much
00:06:45.660 | as I have worked with classical conversations
00:06:48.740 | and as I've been blessed to work with parents.
00:06:51.820 | You know, a lot of people say, "Oh, you've taught me so much."
00:06:55.300 | Or even you guys have said,
00:06:57.460 | "Oh, I know that there are things that we want to know
00:06:59.940 | from you," but I feel like God did such a work in me
00:07:04.900 | and in my understanding in my life.
00:07:07.300 | And so I feel like, and I've told people before
00:07:11.180 | at practicums who come up and say,
00:07:12.940 | "Oh, can't you just come home and homeschool my children?
00:07:16.020 | I wish my children had you as a mom."
00:07:18.980 | And it makes me, it humbles me, but it also makes me laugh.
00:07:22.700 | And I look at them and I say, "Hey, you know what?
00:07:25.580 | My children wish they had had this me as a mom too.
00:07:29.900 | They did not have this me because the Lord
00:07:32.420 | has done such a work as far as me understanding Him,
00:07:37.420 | understanding myself, understanding education,
00:07:42.740 | understanding what He's trying to communicate to me
00:07:46.140 | and to the rest of us through His creation,
00:07:48.580 | through His word and through the people
00:07:50.420 | He puts in our paths."
00:07:51.900 | So what I was most excited about is a do-over,
00:07:56.100 | a chance to pour into a new little life
00:08:01.100 | kind of in a more relaxed way, okay?
00:08:05.660 | Knowing that, "Oh, you know what?
00:08:08.500 | I'm not going to do that perfectly
00:08:10.020 | and that's going to be okay.
00:08:11.300 | And actually that's going to be better
00:08:13.140 | because I won't be setting myself and this child up
00:08:16.740 | with unreal expectations."
00:08:20.180 | And so I was really excited to be a grandmother
00:08:23.820 | because it gave me an opportunity
00:08:27.460 | to enjoy this little person,
00:08:30.740 | probably in a way I was too uptight
00:08:33.340 | to enjoy my own girls at points in their childhood.
00:08:37.380 | - I want to pause right there and just say it again
00:08:40.740 | for myself and all the people in the back.
00:08:43.380 | The fact that you saw or can see now
00:08:48.300 | that you were too uptight to enjoy your kids.
00:08:51.460 | I mean, there are little whispers in my head
00:08:55.180 | and I'm even thinking about just my day yesterday, right?
00:08:58.180 | And how, you know, you want to be a good mom
00:09:00.140 | and I think a lot of it comes from fear,
00:09:02.180 | but the kind of fear that like you are trying
00:09:05.060 | to be a good steward of your child's life.
00:09:08.060 | You're trying to be faithful to the Lord.
00:09:10.340 | So you want your kid to have good character.
00:09:12.540 | So you're trying to be on your pees and pews.
00:09:14.140 | They don't develop these habits that they're like,
00:09:15.700 | "Mom, why didn't you help me?"
00:09:16.660 | You know, whether it's nose picking or being rude,
00:09:19.300 | you know, just all the things.
00:09:20.980 | But I think at the end of the day,
00:09:23.100 | there is a sense that we have that might not be from God,
00:09:28.100 | that it's all on us.
00:09:29.700 | And so we end up, instead of being intentional
00:09:32.700 | or instead of being faithful, which is what we want,
00:09:35.620 | we end up being uptight.
00:09:36.940 | - Right.
00:09:37.780 | - And we suck the joy out of the moment.
00:09:39.700 | - We do, and I think that another huge fallacy
00:09:44.220 | that Satan uses, or I should just say,
00:09:47.140 | he used it in my life.
00:09:49.700 | I fell prey to believing that there was one right way
00:09:54.700 | to do almost all the things I did with and for my girls.
00:09:59.380 | And that if I did not find that one right way,
00:10:04.260 | that, okay, they weren't gonna be derailed totally,
00:10:07.340 | but they would suffer for it.
00:10:08.820 | And we would suffer for it.
00:10:10.420 | And it wouldn't be as good as it,
00:10:13.420 | the experience would not be as good as it could be.
00:10:15.660 | And so I spent, not all my time,
00:10:19.820 | I truly did enjoy my girls a lot.
00:10:22.740 | And we loved homeschooling,
00:10:25.020 | but I do know that I was so focused on doing things right
00:10:29.580 | that sometimes we did not have as much fun
00:10:33.580 | enjoying one another as we should have.
00:10:36.700 | - That's such a good point.
00:10:37.700 | And that's such a huge thing.
00:10:39.740 | I think about that catechism that says,
00:10:41.500 | what is the chief end of man?
00:10:43.860 | What is it to worship God?
00:10:44.700 | - To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
00:10:47.900 | - There you go.
00:10:49.020 | And I think there's a part of that
00:10:50.540 | that we mirror for our kids.
00:10:52.180 | Like when I think about how parenting is modeling
00:10:55.700 | the heart of God for your kids,
00:10:58.020 | the enjoying one another piece is so big.
00:11:01.580 | And I don't know, I'm glad that you said that
00:11:03.780 | 'cause I feel like I'm gonna be thinking about that
00:11:05.860 | for a week.
00:11:06.700 | So let's talk about how,
00:11:09.060 | and I know you're very much at the beginning of it,
00:11:11.140 | how old is your grandson right now?
00:11:12.860 | - He is almost four months old.
00:11:15.580 | - Okay, so he's a little nugget,
00:11:18.460 | probably just starting to smile and stuff.
00:11:20.700 | Tell us a little bit though,
00:11:23.500 | in your short journey so far,
00:11:25.140 | how has being a grandmother changed you?
00:11:28.620 | How has it changed your perspective?
00:11:30.420 | You kind of hit a little bit on it just now,
00:11:32.220 | but what are the things that you feel God
00:11:34.540 | is kind of churning in your heart
00:11:36.060 | and using being a grandma to do in your life?
00:11:39.700 | - Hmm, I think that
00:11:42.940 | He is using Gideon to help me focus on simple joy
00:11:49.260 | and simple pleasures.
00:11:51.700 | He is teaching me with Gideon
00:11:55.860 | to enjoy all of the moments
00:12:00.580 | and not wish any one of them away.
00:12:04.380 | You guys are still young moms.
00:12:06.260 | And so I can say this to you and you'll remember,
00:12:09.420 | there were times when my girls were newborns
00:12:13.100 | that I thought, okay, this is never going to get easier.
00:12:17.380 | This is not, this piece is never going away.
00:12:19.940 | It will never be quote unquote, right again.
00:12:22.780 | And now of course, I realized that's not true.
00:12:29.260 | And the sleepless night doesn't last forever.
00:12:33.460 | And the stage where
00:12:37.700 | your baby or your small child does this thing that,
00:12:41.620 | you know, it's cute the first time
00:12:44.220 | and then it's just annoying.
00:12:46.500 | That doesn't last forever.
00:12:48.260 | And so Gideon, having him
00:12:51.740 | has helped me be just really open
00:12:55.100 | to living more in the moment.
00:12:57.460 | When I was a mom of a newborn,
00:13:00.220 | I remember saying to myself,
00:13:01.900 | well, when she sleeps through the night, it will be better.
00:13:06.020 | Well, when we get on a better nursing schedule,
00:13:10.140 | it will be better.
00:13:11.260 | Well, when, you know, when she doesn't throw her spoon
00:13:16.220 | or when she will eat what I fix
00:13:18.940 | or when she stops asking so many questions,
00:13:21.660 | and by the way, that never happened.
00:13:24.020 | But you just keep, I just found myself
00:13:26.940 | so often living for the next moment
00:13:31.620 | instead of living in the moment
00:13:34.340 | that the Lord had provided.
00:13:35.820 | That with Gideon, when my daughter brought him home,
00:13:40.820 | I stayed with them for a couple of nights
00:13:43.460 | and she was like, oh, I just really need a break.
00:13:45.700 | And I'm like, I'm fine.
00:13:47.180 | I can stay up with him.
00:13:48.820 | I can, it will be my pleasure
00:13:51.980 | to spend some of these in the middle of the night hours
00:13:55.140 | with him, just looking at him
00:13:57.020 | because he's changing every minute.
00:13:59.340 | And that was a gift.
00:14:00.900 | And I think that is a perspective
00:14:03.380 | that I'm happy to have now
00:14:05.220 | that I didn't have when my girls were little.
00:14:08.100 | - Yeah, I bet your girls are happy
00:14:10.020 | or your daughter is happy to have that as well
00:14:12.260 | because you're saying that that's a gift
00:14:13.940 | for that time with Gideon.
00:14:16.020 | But I know she sees that as a blessing to her
00:14:19.220 | that you are giving to her, right?
00:14:21.420 | - Yeah, I hope so, I think so, yeah.
00:14:24.980 | - I would have loved that for sure.
00:14:26.780 | And I just keep thinking like,
00:14:29.300 | this is what us young moms need to hear.
00:14:32.140 | And it's so uplifting for that reminder
00:14:35.460 | to enjoy the simple joys
00:14:37.940 | because we can get, as you said, caught up
00:14:40.100 | in things like that.
00:14:41.380 | And we forget that we can enjoy the seasons
00:14:45.140 | even if they're hard.
00:14:47.060 | - Yes, and that there's more than one right answer
00:14:50.860 | for things.
00:14:51.700 | I thought, if you don't,
00:14:55.220 | if the girl, if I had a schedule in my mind
00:14:57.260 | or a sense of what would be best for this baby
00:15:00.740 | and it didn't happen,
00:15:01.980 | it just kind of threw me for a loop
00:15:04.660 | and I felt like, I don't know what to do.
00:15:06.740 | And so the answer with the baby,
00:15:09.420 | they don't perform on command.
00:15:11.220 | And I know that now,
00:15:13.300 | but if I could just have looked back and said,
00:15:16.380 | you know what?
00:15:17.980 | Whatever is happening is what is supposed to happen.
00:15:22.980 | So let's just enjoy that thing
00:15:25.820 | instead of spending my time thinking,
00:15:28.980 | why is this not going like I expected it to go?
00:15:32.340 | Just enjoy what God has given you.
00:15:34.820 | There's beauty in that,
00:15:36.860 | even if it's not what I expected to see.
00:15:39.460 | - That's great.
00:15:40.300 | - Yeah, it can also bestow that sense of wonder
00:15:42.780 | in you as a grandparent and as a mom
00:15:46.220 | and even for our kids just to say,
00:15:48.860 | okay, I wasn't expecting that,
00:15:50.620 | but man, look at how God can perform
00:15:52.900 | and look at what God has created in this moment
00:15:56.020 | and just His mightiness.
00:15:58.660 | I don't know, that's what it makes me think of.
00:16:00.980 | - It's amazing.
00:16:02.340 | - And we're so excited about this new Scribblers.
00:16:05.180 | Let's go back to that real quick.
00:16:06.900 | You've written the Scribblers program
00:16:08.580 | for Classical Conversations.
00:16:10.740 | It's meant for the younger kids.
00:16:12.380 | So tell us a little bit about it.
00:16:14.900 | - Well, it was really born out of Lee's desire,
00:16:19.740 | Lee Borton's desire to help young families
00:16:24.900 | develop good learning habits, to find a good rhythm.
00:16:29.220 | And as she talked to me a little bit about the project
00:16:32.500 | before we ever wrote the first activity
00:16:35.660 | or developed the first chart,
00:16:37.380 | it really resonated with me
00:16:40.660 | in that there were so many things
00:16:42.860 | that I wish I had known when I started homeschooling.
00:16:47.060 | So many things that I learned along the way
00:16:49.700 | and I got better at and we got more comfortable at
00:16:52.380 | and it was all great.
00:16:53.700 | But what if I had known at the beginning
00:16:58.140 | that developing the relationships
00:17:02.020 | between family members was key?
00:17:05.140 | It was so key that it was way more important
00:17:07.700 | than what reading curriculum I picked.
00:17:10.660 | What if I had realized at the beginning
00:17:14.540 | that there were simple rhythms that we could start
00:17:19.500 | when the kids were really young
00:17:21.880 | that would become so much a part of our family's DNA
00:17:25.260 | that it would become just what we do.
00:17:28.340 | Like learning is just what we do.
00:17:31.020 | Reading good books is just what we do.
00:17:33.980 | Talking about big ideas is just what we do.
00:17:37.900 | And we don't even notice it.
00:17:39.500 | Going outside to look at what God's made
00:17:42.620 | and then asking questions about it
00:17:45.380 | and looking in the scripture
00:17:47.220 | and asking other people what they know about the world.
00:17:51.500 | If I had known at the beginning
00:17:54.780 | that that was the kind of thing
00:17:57.020 | that would change the world for me and my kids
00:18:00.620 | and my husband, I would have done that in a skinny minute.
00:18:03.660 | But I didn't know.
00:18:05.660 | I was so set at the beginning
00:18:08.380 | that I had to pick the right reading curriculum,
00:18:11.780 | that we needed to spend X amount of time doing math.
00:18:15.220 | I needed to be sure that we did handwriting
00:18:18.620 | and we did it as long as we were supposed to
00:18:21.000 | and at the right time, they became good spellers
00:18:24.100 | and that we learned about this.
00:18:25.620 | I was so worried about all of that stuff
00:18:27.900 | that a lot of times in the early years,
00:18:30.340 | I would get to the end of the day and think,
00:18:33.020 | well, we didn't finish the math lesson
00:18:34.980 | and she still can't read
00:18:36.700 | and we didn't even do a science experiment
00:18:39.820 | and art is just like what they do when I'm not looking.
00:18:43.180 | If I had had somebody to tell me,
00:18:47.540 | hey, take a deep breath.
00:18:50.920 | You prayed together with your girls.
00:18:54.380 | You read together.
00:18:56.720 | You played outside together.
00:18:59.440 | You fixed lunch for daddy.
00:19:02.320 | You explored the ladybugs on the back steps.
00:19:06.160 | You prayed, played, read, explored and served.
00:19:10.840 | That was a good day.
00:19:12.400 | You did a good thing
00:19:13.720 | and y'all established really good rhythms.
00:19:17.240 | That was a good homeschool day.
00:19:19.340 | And so "Scribblers" was really written
00:19:24.600 | to encourage parents
00:19:26.440 | that the things their children do naturally are enough
00:19:32.400 | that parents can intentionally harvest the habits
00:19:37.720 | of praying, playing, reading, exploring and serving
00:19:43.480 | and begin to build habits that turn into the learning
00:19:48.480 | that the children will do,
00:19:51.920 | not just till they graduate from high school, but forever.
00:19:55.600 | And just helping parents connect this intentional play
00:20:01.520 | with the habits that are gonna help their high schoolers
00:20:05.240 | write a paper or do a chemistry lab
00:20:09.260 | or work with the quadratic equation.
00:20:12.560 | Really and truly, I can remember thinking,
00:20:16.160 | I don't know how we're gonna get there,
00:20:17.700 | but I'll worry about it then.
00:20:20.280 | But "Scribblers" actually shows parents,
00:20:22.960 | look, you think your children are just clapping
00:20:26.420 | the rhythm of their name,
00:20:28.560 | but they are actually learning that words have syllables,
00:20:32.400 | that words have parts and that you can,
00:20:35.620 | and that is gonna help them read and spell
00:20:39.220 | and take a foreign language.
00:20:41.080 | And so for parents to think that this intentional play
00:20:45.440 | is going somewhere is huge.
00:20:47.680 | - Yeah, yeah, I think a lot of us moms need to hear that,
00:20:50.840 | especially as homeschooling moms.
00:20:53.360 | I love when you said,
00:20:54.560 | it's not always about choosing the right curriculum.
00:20:57.280 | It's really the relationships when they're younger,
00:20:59.860 | because that is gonna help high schoolers
00:21:01.560 | when they are doing those quadratic equations
00:21:03.520 | when they're older,
00:21:04.680 | because they're gonna have that relationship
00:21:06.400 | that they can trust you, that you are for them
00:21:08.920 | and that you care about their education.
00:21:10.640 | So you're not making them do all of these math problems
00:21:13.800 | because you're being a mean mom or just to do it.
00:21:17.500 | They have that trust with you
00:21:19.120 | because you started at such a young age
00:21:21.400 | focused in on the relationships
00:21:23.280 | and not how many worksheets do we get done today
00:21:27.280 | or do I have the right program to teach them correctly?
00:21:31.480 | And that's what "Scribblers" is about, right?
00:21:33.560 | - Right, it's about being with your kids.
00:21:36.440 | It is being with your kids, doing these fun things together
00:21:40.680 | because really a lot of us,
00:21:42.800 | I mean, I reclaimed such a huge swath of my education
00:21:46.680 | when I started teaching my kids at home.
00:21:49.000 | There are things that as parents,
00:21:51.020 | you're gonna learn by doing the "Scribblers" activity.
00:21:54.680 | You're gonna learn stuff about each of the strands.
00:21:57.640 | You're gonna learn things about science and history
00:21:59.920 | and phonics and all of that,
00:22:02.320 | but you're also gonna learn about your child
00:22:04.920 | and how your child learns and how they look at the world
00:22:08.080 | and what they need from you at any given moment.
00:22:11.160 | - Yeah, I've had a chance
00:22:12.400 | to look through the "Scribblers" program, actually.
00:22:14.320 | I've got one of the early books of it.
00:22:18.120 | - Phototypes, yeah.
00:22:18.960 | - And it's been so fun to look through with my kids.
00:22:21.840 | I'll be honest, I have not tried one of them yet.
00:22:24.400 | - That's okay.
00:22:25.240 | - But I loved how encompassing they are.
00:22:28.840 | There's some activities that you can do inside.
00:22:32.100 | I think there was a baking activity
00:22:33.360 | that really sparked my interest
00:22:34.580 | 'cause I'm a baker,
00:22:35.680 | but then you had them going outside
00:22:37.360 | or you have them going to different rooms of the house
00:22:40.080 | and making these memories with your kids,
00:22:42.980 | but letting them learn,
00:22:44.360 | and they don't even know it.
00:22:45.720 | They're not gonna know that they're learning math
00:22:47.480 | while we're baking and measuring out things.
00:22:50.760 | They're just gonna say,
00:22:51.600 | "Ooh, I'm making cookies with mommy,"
00:22:53.040 | or something like that,
00:22:53.960 | and that's what I loved
00:22:55.640 | when I was going through the prototype.
00:22:57.520 | - Hey, guys, we wanna take a break from the show
00:23:00.840 | to tell you about the Words Aptly Spoken Book Club
00:23:04.480 | by Classical Conversations,
00:23:06.180 | and it's actually hosted by our founder, Leigh Bortens.
00:23:09.140 | - Yeah, so she hosts this book club online
00:23:11.520 | every Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time,
00:23:14.720 | and each week's meeting centers around a discussion
00:23:16.960 | on a new book that includes
00:23:18.720 | Classical Conversations exclusives,
00:23:20.960 | like selections from the Copper Lodge Library series,
00:23:23.600 | as well as some of the literary classics
00:23:25.880 | that we all know and love,
00:23:26.960 | like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Mere Christianity.
00:23:30.600 | - Yeah, so if you'd like to engage
00:23:32.240 | in thought-provoking conversations
00:23:34.360 | on the power held by words, ideas, and stories
00:23:37.680 | with other homeschoolers, parents, and lovers of books,
00:23:41.040 | then this book club is definitely for you.
00:23:43.520 | - Yeah, so if you guys are interested,
00:23:45.240 | you can go visit leighbortens.com
00:23:47.560 | to find a link to join in live
00:23:49.720 | at the Words Aptly Spoken Book Club.
00:23:51.800 | Remember, it's Thursdays at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time,
00:23:55.800 | and you can go to leighbortens.com.
00:23:58.680 | - Let's get back to the show.
00:24:02.800 | So just really, again, I hear you saying so much
00:24:05.680 | about just instilling that sense of wonder in learning,
00:24:08.920 | and even internalizing that ourselves as parents,
00:24:13.920 | as we model that, and just reawakening
00:24:17.600 | that hunger to learn for ourselves.
00:24:19.760 | And so this is not gonna be a clean segue.
00:24:22.720 | I'll just go ahead and let you know, Lisa.
00:24:24.520 | (laughing)
00:24:27.000 | So, you know, I love to hear about that.
00:24:29.240 | And you guys, if you are interested,
00:24:31.160 | absolutely go and look it up.
00:24:32.480 | I'll give you the information about that at the end.
00:24:36.040 | But as I just think about the season of life
00:24:38.560 | that you're in right now, again, as a grandmother,
00:24:41.040 | your season with your girls has passed.
00:24:43.200 | Now you've got a little boy, which is different, too,
00:24:45.320 | which is a new, fun thing.
00:24:46.800 | And I'm thinking about boundaries, actually,
00:24:49.960 | and just kind of wondering,
00:24:52.240 | because most of our listeners are in my seat
00:24:56.240 | and Jenny's seat when we're in our first round.
00:24:59.360 | But for you, as the grandmother,
00:25:02.400 | I'm sure that you have things that you may have wished,
00:25:05.000 | you know, the grandmother had these boundaries,
00:25:07.160 | or boundaries that you may have wished
00:25:08.520 | that you set personally for your family.
00:25:10.920 | And I think this is such an area where we can glean from you
00:25:14.520 | and your years of experience.
00:25:15.920 | So can you talk to us a little bit about the boundaries
00:25:19.120 | that you maybe are setting for yourself as a grandmother,
00:25:21.800 | or boundaries that you would encourage young moms
00:25:24.680 | to set for their families
00:25:25.880 | as they navigate that new season of life?
00:25:28.360 | 'Cause it's very different when you go from being just you
00:25:30.560 | and your spouse to you and your kids
00:25:32.400 | and your extended family.
00:25:33.920 | There's a lot in the mix.
00:25:35.040 | So can you just talk to us a little bit about that?
00:25:37.160 | - It's so interesting.
00:25:38.320 | I've thought a lot about this.
00:25:40.520 | Partly because I always have a plan.
00:25:46.640 | I always have a plan.
00:25:47.960 | I always like to, I sort of like to be in charge,
00:25:51.320 | and my kids and my husband probably roll their eyes
00:25:53.520 | and say, "Sort of."
00:25:54.760 | (laughing)
00:25:56.440 | Like when we go on vacation,
00:25:58.000 | when we go to Disney World, I make the plan.
00:26:00.240 | And they're just happy.
00:26:01.080 | You know, like what are we gonna do first?
00:26:02.640 | And where are we headed first?
00:26:04.960 | And as the girls grew up,
00:26:07.120 | you know, that was sometimes, frankly,
00:26:11.680 | one of the most bittersweet parts of my children growing up
00:26:15.680 | was realizing that there need to be boundaries
00:26:20.480 | as they grow about how much I tell them to do,
00:26:25.480 | how much I'm in charge.
00:26:29.200 | And that boundary needs to kind of,
00:26:31.680 | it starts to wiggle, right?
00:26:34.000 | So as my girls got older, I had to give them freedom.
00:26:38.440 | Even if I knew what they, quote unquote, "ought to do,"
00:26:43.040 | sometimes I needed to let them figure out
00:26:45.720 | what they would do, and then see maybe,
00:26:48.920 | "Hey, that was not the best thing.
00:26:50.280 | "I ought to have done this."
00:26:52.920 | But they needed to figure that out on their own.
00:26:55.880 | And as they went to college,
00:26:57.640 | I learned to say less and listen more.
00:27:01.520 | I learned to ask a lot of questions
00:27:04.960 | and not given an opinion unless they asked me for it.
00:27:09.920 | You have no idea.
00:27:13.840 | You have no idea how hard that was.
00:27:15.600 | And ironically enough, texting saved me a lot of times
00:27:22.520 | because if my daughter had told me some of the things
00:27:27.520 | she told me on the phone and I had to react in the moment,
00:27:31.480 | it would not have been wise.
00:27:33.520 | But I could get a text about it and think,
00:27:36.040 | "Oh my goodness!"
00:27:37.760 | But I didn't say that because it was a text.
00:27:40.160 | And I could put it down, walk away, take a walk,
00:27:44.080 | reframe it, calm down.
00:27:48.120 | And then a lot of times what happened
00:27:51.120 | was I could ask a clarifying question
00:27:55.960 | because I had taken the deep breath.
00:27:58.400 | And sometimes the clarifying question made it clear
00:28:01.280 | that I had nothing to worry about,
00:28:03.520 | that my child was actually just extending an opportunity
00:28:08.360 | to discuss an idea, not telling me a decision,
00:28:12.480 | not communicating a decision she had made.
00:28:15.520 | And so I learned that asking questions
00:28:19.720 | and waiting for the answer instead of giving the answer
00:28:24.400 | was the best way to go.
00:28:26.600 | And so as a grandmother, I've really tried to do that.
00:28:30.200 | I have been, I have eagerly waited in the wings
00:28:35.200 | for my daughter to need me, right?
00:28:38.480 | To ask a question, I will always take her calls and texts
00:28:43.400 | before almost anybody else's.
00:28:46.080 | But I have tried to not rush in and say,
00:28:50.320 | "Well, when you were little, daddy and I did this,"
00:28:53.200 | or, "I think you should do this," or clearly,
00:28:56.120 | or just act like the plan that I made
00:28:59.120 | was obviously the right one.
00:29:00.360 | Why wouldn't you do that too?
00:29:01.960 | I have tried to hang back and make lots of supportive noises
00:29:08.400 | and tell her when she is doing an amazing job.
00:29:13.040 | And I look at her and say,
00:29:14.400 | "You are so much better at this than I was.
00:29:16.440 | "You are so much more relaxed,
00:29:18.400 | "and that is helping you and helping your son
00:29:21.840 | "so much for you to relax."
00:29:23.880 | So I try to give lots of encouragement
00:29:26.400 | and lots of feedback,
00:29:28.200 | but not lots of opinions until they're sought.
00:29:31.440 | That's a boundary I'm trying to hold.
00:29:33.680 | - That's good.
00:29:34.520 | - That is really good wisdom.
00:29:35.840 | I love how you just said supportive noises.
00:29:38.240 | 'Cause that can come, you're right,
00:29:40.760 | that can come in so many different ways.
00:29:42.800 | You can use words, but sometimes it is,
00:29:44.680 | you just need to make the noise.
00:29:46.080 | And us daughters, we get it.
00:29:48.400 | We know our moms enough to be like,
00:29:50.200 | "Oh, she's not liking that.
00:29:51.880 | "Do I need to rethink something?"
00:29:53.440 | And it's exactly what you said.
00:29:55.360 | It's a noise.
00:29:56.760 | - I love it.
00:29:57.600 | We need to release a rehearsal pack.
00:29:59.840 | Supporting noises for mom.
00:30:01.440 | - Mm-hmm.
00:30:02.280 | - Yeah.
00:30:03.120 | - Oh, that's right.
00:30:03.960 | How funny that would be.
00:30:05.440 | - I love that you're just talking about
00:30:07.040 | encouraging your daughters,
00:30:08.320 | because you still are their mom,
00:30:11.160 | and now you are a grandmother to their little ones.
00:30:14.400 | And it is a little bit of a different role.
00:30:17.800 | It's not as, you know, with your grandkids,
00:30:20.040 | it's not as authoritative,
00:30:21.200 | but it doesn't mean it's any less significant,
00:30:23.280 | or you're not as important as a grandparent, right?
00:30:27.280 | I think the Bible tells us,
00:30:28.960 | you know, generation upon generation,
00:30:30.680 | you embark your wisdom,
00:30:31.720 | you tell the testimonies of what you have lived through,
00:30:35.840 | so that they may grow in their faith, most importantly,
00:30:39.840 | but also just as followers of Jesus.
00:30:42.400 | - Yeah, I love that.
00:30:43.480 | - So as a grandparent, grandma,
00:30:47.040 | what are you called, Lisa?
00:30:48.520 | Nana?
00:30:49.360 | Grandma?
00:30:50.680 | - No, my husband, I am Lollie.
00:30:53.960 | - Lollie.
00:30:54.800 | Oh, that's cute.
00:30:55.640 | - Is he pop?
00:30:56.480 | - My husband is pop,
00:30:58.000 | and so the grandkids will come to Lollipop's house.
00:31:02.320 | - Oh my goodness.
00:31:03.160 | - That's so cute.
00:31:04.000 | - I might have to steal that.
00:31:04.840 | - Take notes, everybody take notes.
00:31:06.720 | - Lollie and Pop.
00:31:07.560 | - You're free to steal that.
00:31:08.400 | - That's the best.
00:31:09.880 | And so that's really fun,
00:31:11.200 | that fits our personalities pretty well too.
00:31:13.520 | - It really does.
00:31:14.360 | All right, well, as Lollie,
00:31:16.440 | what is your biggest prayer for your grandkids?
00:31:19.720 | And then even as for your daughters,
00:31:22.640 | what is your biggest prayer as they are becoming parents?
00:31:26.120 | Twofold.
00:31:26.960 | - For my grandson,
00:31:31.920 | I pray that he grows up
00:31:35.640 | to know God fully
00:31:40.200 | and to know how loved he is
00:31:45.200 | by God the Father.
00:31:47.320 | I pray that he feels the love of God
00:31:50.320 | and that it transforms him
00:31:53.440 | into the man that God has already designed him to be.
00:31:57.720 | And that's my prayer for him.
00:31:59.560 | The corollary of course is that
00:32:03.720 | I pray he feels the love and support of his family.
00:32:07.920 | And for my girls,
00:32:11.560 | I pray that they will be moms,
00:32:15.800 | that they will understand the heart of God
00:32:21.960 | more deeply as they become parents.
00:32:24.960 | I know that that was really true for me.
00:32:30.040 | I mean, I never really understood God the Father
00:32:33.760 | until I had a child of my own to love and to watch over.
00:32:39.640 | I pray that my girls never lose sight of the fact
00:32:46.200 | that God will entrust to them precious treasures
00:32:51.200 | that are theirs to shepherd, but not to own.
00:32:59.320 | That those babies will always belong to the Lord
00:33:04.160 | and he loans them out to us
00:33:06.280 | and allows us to shepherd them.
00:33:10.280 | I think that's what I want them to know.
00:33:15.120 | - Yeah, amen, that's beautiful.
00:33:17.360 | We can all take a note from that book.
00:33:19.880 | So as we close out,
00:33:22.200 | you know, just thinking over your years,
00:33:24.480 | you've got many years to come
00:33:25.640 | and many years under your belt,
00:33:27.560 | what advice would you wanna give to moms
00:33:32.200 | who are heading into maybe a new season?
00:33:35.280 | A mom who sees something on the horizon
00:33:38.300 | is probably trying to either brace herself
00:33:41.160 | or prepare her heart for, you know, what God's got.
00:33:44.400 | Sometimes it's a little of both,
00:33:46.360 | but what would you say to us mommas
00:33:48.760 | as we're transitioning in life?
00:33:50.360 | - I think what I would say
00:33:54.920 | is make everything a serious matter of prayer,
00:33:59.920 | but don't take anything including yourself too seriously.
00:34:05.780 | You know, take it all to the Lord and give it to him
00:34:11.280 | and do your best to leave it there.
00:34:13.000 | I mean, we're all good at taking it to the Lord,
00:34:15.120 | but sometimes we carry it away with us.
00:34:17.400 | Try to leave those big perplexities of life with the Lord,
00:34:22.840 | but then don't take yourself so seriously.
00:34:26.800 | Nobody is expect, nobody but you
00:34:29.200 | is expecting you to be perfect
00:34:31.560 | and a perfect house is not a lot of fun to live in.
00:34:34.960 | - Amen.
00:34:35.800 | - So, so get dirty, make a mess,
00:34:40.680 | splash out of the bathtub, you know,
00:34:44.160 | track in on the kitchen floor,
00:34:47.200 | experience life at the end of the day,
00:34:50.640 | don't leave too much in the I wish I had pile
00:34:55.520 | and have more in the I'm glad I pile.
00:34:59.360 | - That's beautiful, I love it.
00:35:03.360 | Well, thank you so much for chatting with us today, Lisa.
00:35:06.200 | I still, I'm in that group that was like,
00:35:08.200 | I just want you to come parent my children.
00:35:09.760 | I am definitely in that group.
00:35:12.800 | - Nope, nobody loves your little ones like you do,
00:35:15.560 | and so you really are the very best one
00:35:17.960 | to love and be with your children.
00:35:20.240 | - Absolutely, thank you all for letting me come.
00:35:22.320 | I have enjoyed this immensely.
00:35:24.760 | - What an amazing conversation.
00:35:29.200 | Lisa always has just so many good little nuggets
00:35:32.040 | of wisdom and encouragement.
00:35:34.320 | I think my favorite thing she reminded me though,
00:35:36.720 | as a mom with a lot of little kids,
00:35:39.080 | is to find joy in just the simple things.
00:35:42.520 | And we get so caught up in,
00:35:44.840 | oh, I don't want to mess my kid up,
00:35:46.640 | or I don't want to do this and ruin their lives.
00:35:49.640 | And in reality, we're not going to ruin their lives, right?
00:35:52.160 | God has got them in His hands.
00:35:54.480 | And what a great reminder that was for Lisa.
00:35:56.720 | It just kind of lets me take a deep breath
00:36:00.040 | and say, you know what?
00:36:02.200 | God has got them, you know?
00:36:04.080 | I'm not gonna mess anything up.
00:36:05.520 | Can I do things better?
00:36:06.960 | Potentially, yes, but we can't be fearful to fail.
00:36:11.240 | And I think that's what any mom in any stage
00:36:14.040 | really can hear and just grab onto.
00:36:17.400 | - Absolutely, so guys,
00:36:19.040 | I hope that you enjoyed this conversation.
00:36:21.600 | And if you did, we would love it
00:36:23.480 | if you would share this with another friend
00:36:25.360 | who's a mom that you know
00:36:26.560 | could just use a little pep talk today,
00:36:28.120 | send this episode to them.
00:36:29.640 | And if you're not already subscribed,
00:36:31.360 | we'd love it if you would hit the subscribe button.
00:36:33.360 | It's mostly for you,
00:36:34.440 | so that you don't miss the next episode.
00:36:36.160 | It helps you remember when the podcast is coming out.
00:36:38.400 | And if you're not already on social media with us,
00:36:42.080 | go and follow us @BlessingsInMotherhood.
00:36:44.200 | That's how we keep the conversation going.
00:36:45.920 | We encourage each other during the week.
00:36:47.440 | We share things together
00:36:48.640 | and really just continue to point you guys to community.
00:36:52.400 | And if you are interested
00:36:54.080 | in checking out the Scribblers curriculum,
00:36:56.640 | you can find that at classicalconversations.com/scribblers-resource
00:37:01.640 | Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.
00:37:05.320 | - Bye guys.
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