Is It Sinful for My Husband and Me to Pray Against Pregnancy?
00:00:00.000 | [Music]
00:00:04.000 | "Is it wrong for couples to pray against pregnancy?"
00:00:08.000 | It's a question today from Chelsea in North Carolina.
00:00:11.000 | Pastor John, thank you so much for all that you and the DesiringGod.org team do online.
00:00:17.000 | My question, "Do you think it is sinful for me to pray to not get pregnant?
00:00:21.000 | I love my children, but I don't think I can handle any more right now.
00:00:25.000 | My husband says it's not a sin, but I feel so selfish praying this prayer,
00:00:29.000 | especially since God has closed my closest friend's womb.
00:00:33.000 | Is it biblically sound to even pray to God to close my womb for a season?"
00:00:38.000 | My short answer is that it may be biblically sound to want a limited number of children
00:00:49.000 | if your motives are informed by the priorities of Christ and the Scriptures.
00:00:57.000 | I know some would say, "Well, that's contradictory,
00:01:01.000 | because it's precisely the priorities of Christ and the Scriptures
00:01:06.000 | that tell us not to limit the number of children we have.
00:01:09.000 | They're a blessing, for goodness' sake. Why would you do that?"
00:01:11.000 | But let me try to show you how I'm thinking,
00:01:14.000 | and then you can decide whether it's contradictory or not.
00:01:18.000 | In Genesis 2, verse 18, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.
00:01:26.000 | I will make him a helper fit for him."
00:01:29.000 | So not good to be alone.
00:01:31.000 | Then verse 24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother
00:01:36.000 | and hold fast to his wife, and they become one flesh."
00:01:40.000 | Back in Genesis 1, 28, he says, "Be fruitful to this couple.
00:01:46.000 | Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth."
00:01:50.000 | In other words, it is right and normal and proper to pursue and to want family,
00:01:58.000 | marriage in the world as God created it,
00:02:03.000 | and to raise up lots of lovers of God who fill the earth with his glory.
00:02:10.000 | I would say that's normal and good.
00:02:13.000 | God says, "It's not good for man to be alone.
00:02:16.000 | Let him marry, become one flesh, and fill the earth."
00:02:20.000 | Nevertheless, when you get to the New Testament and you read 1 Corinthians 7, 26, following,
00:02:27.000 | Paul, who speaks with the authority of Christ, says,
00:02:31.000 | "I think that in the view of the present distress,
00:02:35.000 | it is good for a person to remain as he is.
00:02:39.000 | Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek to be free.
00:02:42.000 | Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
00:02:45.000 | But if you marry, you have not sinned."
00:02:49.000 | So Paul is actually counseling people in that situation, at least,
00:02:54.000 | that singleness would be preferable to marriage.
00:02:59.000 | And he gives his reasons later on, and they have to do with greater devotion to the Lord.
00:03:04.000 | But it's astonishing that in view of Genesis 2, 18,
00:03:09.000 | it's not good for a man to be alone, that Paul would say,
00:03:12.000 | "There are times and there are reasons when it would be better to be alone, not to marry."
00:03:20.000 | So the lesson I draw from this is that while it is normal and right and proper
00:03:28.000 | in the ordinary order of creation for marriage to be pursued,
00:03:35.000 | nevertheless, now that Christ has come into the world,
00:03:42.000 | there are redemptive priorities, saving priorities,
00:03:48.000 | where it's right for redemptive and saving purposes for a person to forego marriage,
00:03:56.000 | which means that Christ-exalting kingdom principles and kingdom values
00:04:02.000 | on this side of the cross relativize the mandate for marriage in the order of creation.
00:04:10.000 | In other words, the goodness of it is relative to the glorification of Christ
00:04:17.000 | in the advance of his kingdom.
00:04:19.000 | Now, if that's right thinking, then I'm suggesting that the same principles apply to having children
00:04:27.000 | and loving to have your quiver full of them, Psalm 127, which we should love.
00:04:35.000 | In other words, this is the normal, right, good pattern for all people in the order of creation.
00:04:44.000 | But there may be situations in life when, for Christ-exalting, God-centered, kingdom-advancing reasons,
00:04:54.000 | restricting the number of children that we have may be appropriate.
00:05:01.000 | Now, I realize that, in a sense, I have not made matters easier for anyone,
00:05:09.000 | but perhaps even harder, because I have now put on you the burden of trying to know your own heart
00:05:19.000 | and whether the motives for limiting the number of children that you have are, in fact,
00:05:26.000 | Christ-exalting, God-centered, kingdom-advancing motives, or whether you're driven by fear or unbelief
00:05:35.000 | or selfishness or worldliness. That's the real danger.
00:05:40.000 | But I think that is the kind of situation we find ourselves in regarding most decisions that we have to make in this world.
00:05:50.000 | God knows your heart, and he's a merciful Father. He loves children.
00:05:58.000 | But our having children is not his highest priority.
00:06:04.000 | His highest priority for his children is Christ-exalting faith,
00:06:12.000 | Christ-magnifying joy that overflows in meeting the needs of others.
00:06:18.000 | That's his highest priority. He loves big families with lots and lots of children,
00:06:25.000 | but not for their own sake, but for Christ's sake.
00:06:29.000 | And the issue is, do our lives with many or few children magnify the greatness of Christ,
00:06:40.000 | whether married or not, and however many children we have?
00:06:46.000 | Such a good and careful balance of the biblical data that we have on this question. It's so important.
00:06:50.000 | Thank you, Pastor John, for tackling this. Thank you for the question, Chelsea.
00:06:53.000 | And we get really good questions from the listening community, so thank you. Keep them coming in.
00:06:58.000 | Thank you for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast.
00:07:00.000 | You can stay current with our episodes through your favorite podcast app.
00:07:04.000 | You can even listen to us regularly through YouTube. That's right.
00:07:07.000 | Go to youtube.com/desiringgod.org if you want to see how we do it.
00:07:13.000 | And if you have a question of your own for Pastor John, you can email those questions to us.
00:07:17.000 | Send it through the podcast homepage at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.
00:07:23.000 | You'll see the button there.
00:07:25.000 | Well, Wednesday we return to talk about good jealousy and bad jealousy in dating relationships.
00:07:32.000 | It's not an uncommon question, but it's one we have just now finally gotten to.
00:07:36.000 | About 1,200 episodes into this thing, we're going to talk about good jealousy and bad jealousy in dating.
00:07:41.000 | I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you then on Wednesday.
00:07:44.000 | [End of Audio]
00:07:46.000 | [End of Audio]
00:07:48.000 | [End of Audio]
00:07:50.000 | [End of Audio]
00:07:51.000 | [BLANK_AUDIO]