"Is it wrong for couples to pray against pregnancy?" It's a question today from Chelsea in North Carolina. Pastor John, thank you so much for all that you and the DesiringGod.org team do online. My question, "Do you think it is sinful for me to pray to not get pregnant? I love my children, but I don't think I can handle any more right now.

My husband says it's not a sin, but I feel so selfish praying this prayer, especially since God has closed my closest friend's womb. Is it biblically sound to even pray to God to close my womb for a season?" My short answer is that it may be biblically sound to want a limited number of children if your motives are informed by the priorities of Christ and the Scriptures.

I know some would say, "Well, that's contradictory, because it's precisely the priorities of Christ and the Scriptures that tell us not to limit the number of children we have. They're a blessing, for goodness' sake. Why would you do that?" But let me try to show you how I'm thinking, and then you can decide whether it's contradictory or not.

In Genesis 2, verse 18, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him." So not good to be alone. Then verse 24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they become one flesh." Back in Genesis 1, 28, he says, "Be fruitful to this couple.

Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." In other words, it is right and normal and proper to pursue and to want family, marriage in the world as God created it, and to raise up lots of lovers of God who fill the earth with his glory. I would say that's normal and good.

God says, "It's not good for man to be alone. Let him marry, become one flesh, and fill the earth." Nevertheless, when you get to the New Testament and you read 1 Corinthians 7, 26, following, Paul, who speaks with the authority of Christ, says, "I think that in the view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is.

Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned." So Paul is actually counseling people in that situation, at least, that singleness would be preferable to marriage. And he gives his reasons later on, and they have to do with greater devotion to the Lord.

But it's astonishing that in view of Genesis 2, 18, it's not good for a man to be alone, that Paul would say, "There are times and there are reasons when it would be better to be alone, not to marry." So the lesson I draw from this is that while it is normal and right and proper in the ordinary order of creation for marriage to be pursued, nevertheless, now that Christ has come into the world, there are redemptive priorities, saving priorities, where it's right for redemptive and saving purposes for a person to forego marriage, which means that Christ-exalting kingdom principles and kingdom values on this side of the cross relativize the mandate for marriage in the order of creation.

In other words, the goodness of it is relative to the glorification of Christ in the advance of his kingdom. Now, if that's right thinking, then I'm suggesting that the same principles apply to having children and loving to have your quiver full of them, Psalm 127, which we should love.

In other words, this is the normal, right, good pattern for all people in the order of creation. But there may be situations in life when, for Christ-exalting, God-centered, kingdom-advancing reasons, restricting the number of children that we have may be appropriate. Now, I realize that, in a sense, I have not made matters easier for anyone, but perhaps even harder, because I have now put on you the burden of trying to know your own heart and whether the motives for limiting the number of children that you have are, in fact, Christ-exalting, God-centered, kingdom-advancing motives, or whether you're driven by fear or unbelief or selfishness or worldliness.

That's the real danger. But I think that is the kind of situation we find ourselves in regarding most decisions that we have to make in this world. God knows your heart, and he's a merciful Father. He loves children. But our having children is not his highest priority. His highest priority for his children is Christ-exalting faith, Christ-magnifying joy that overflows in meeting the needs of others.

That's his highest priority. He loves big families with lots and lots of children, but not for their own sake, but for Christ's sake. And the issue is, do our lives with many or few children magnify the greatness of Christ, whether married or not, and however many children we have?

Such a good and careful balance of the biblical data that we have on this question. It's so important. Thank you, Pastor John, for tackling this. Thank you for the question, Chelsea. And we get really good questions from the listening community, so thank you. Keep them coming in. Thank you for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast.

You can stay current with our episodes through your favorite podcast app. You can even listen to us regularly through YouTube. That's right. Go to youtube.com/desiringgod.org if you want to see how we do it. And if you have a question of your own for Pastor John, you can email those questions to us.

Send it through the podcast homepage at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn. You'll see the button there. Well, Wednesday we return to talk about good jealousy and bad jealousy in dating relationships. It's not an uncommon question, but it's one we have just now finally gotten to. About 1,200 episodes into this thing, we're going to talk about good jealousy and bad jealousy in dating.

I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you then on Wednesday.