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Everyday Educator - Seasoned for a Reason, Part 2


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00:00:00.000 | All right, we're continuing, Melissa and I are continuing the conversation that we began
00:00:08.620 | the other day.
00:00:10.540 | I am talking with Melissa Ellison, homeschool mom with experience, which is also always
00:00:18.380 | such a valuable thing to say to people who wonder how in the world am I ever going to
00:00:24.420 | do this?
00:00:25.420 | And I'm so pleased to hear Melissa from people who have done it and survived and have a little
00:00:31.660 | bit of experience under their belt.
00:00:35.140 | What you were telling me just a few minutes ago was that community has been a big part
00:00:43.880 | of an important and big part of your homeschool journey.
00:00:49.060 | And I imagine that this good community plays into the next question I'm going to ask you,
00:00:55.480 | but I think that your answer to this question might set a lot of early homeschoolers minds
00:01:01.460 | at risk.
00:01:02.460 | Okay, I want to ask you this.
00:01:05.420 | How do you think a classical education has impacted your kids or prepared them for life?
00:01:15.660 | That's a loaded question, and I want you to answer really honestly.
00:01:26.420 | I think I have to admit that at first, once they got to that dialectic stage and they
00:01:36.220 | were wrestling with ideas and making things their own, I struggled a little bit with that
00:01:45.140 | because it's a little scary because you're like, "What if they don't have the same values
00:01:54.360 | or opinions or whatever?
00:01:55.360 | They don't come to the same conclusions as you do."
00:01:59.420 | And so that was a practice in trusting God, too, with them.
00:02:07.680 | So I think as far as preparing my kids, the biggest things that I've seen with my children
00:02:14.220 | are they love to learn, at least most of them.
00:02:21.800 | They just love to learn, and they're continually learning.
00:02:24.380 | I remember, too, when they went to college, they were so much more prepared for presentation
00:02:34.300 | wise.
00:02:35.300 | I mean, they weren't nervous getting up in front of a class.
00:02:38.320 | They were very well-spoken.
00:02:40.860 | They were confident.
00:02:43.660 | And I even remember Sarah in high school being part of the young Republican committee or
00:02:50.940 | whatever in our county, and she went and spoke for a couple of candidates for a local state
00:02:57.740 | elections and people would be like, "Aren't you nervous?"
00:03:01.540 | And I mean, she literally would almost just get up there, not even have to prepare that
00:03:07.580 | much, and she was not nervous and very well-spoken and loved it because it was a passion of hers
00:03:14.740 | because she ended up going to Patrick Henry and majoring in political science.
00:03:22.700 | So that was something that she loved.
00:03:24.740 | And so that was a big thing that I saw.
00:03:27.460 | And also, they knew how to find answers.
00:03:30.580 | They knew how to research, how to find an answer for something, and knew how to read
00:03:39.220 | original documents, which a lot of kids don't know anymore how to do.
00:03:44.500 | And then, too, I think being able to be confident in what they believe and being able to convey
00:03:56.460 | that to others.
00:03:59.380 | I see that a lot, especially with even my youngest child, who is just very on fire for
00:04:07.300 | God.
00:04:08.300 | And he is not ashamed of the gospel, which is a beautiful thing, right?
00:04:15.860 | But he talks to other people, and he is not.
00:04:20.900 | And he can express himself, and he has a passion, and you just don't see that a lot, I don't
00:04:26.540 | think, with kids.
00:04:27.540 | You know, they're swayed by other kids, they're swayed by, you know, and they don't know what
00:04:32.220 | they believe.
00:04:33.220 | And so I think that's one of the biggest things.
00:04:36.260 | Gosh, that is such a great thing.
00:04:39.460 | Amen, sister.
00:04:42.100 | What a blessing for families who are just beginning the homeschool journey.
00:04:48.540 | I understand that for a lot of us, when we start, it's about academics.
00:04:54.280 | We wonder, "Can I teach a child to read?"
00:04:56.820 | And then, "Can I teach a child to write a paper?"
00:04:59.420 | And "Can I teach a child to do geometry?"
00:05:03.940 | We start out because that's what we're programmed to think that school is all about.
00:05:11.780 | And that homeschooling is school at home, but it's not.
00:05:17.780 | Homeschooling is about growing your child into the person that God has designed them
00:05:24.320 | to be.
00:05:25.320 | It's so much more than academics.
00:05:28.500 | So I'm so happy that you brought out how classical education impacts "real life," that it's more
00:05:38.440 | than academics.
00:05:40.000 | The whole idea that you are raising a child who knows the Lord, who knows what they believe,
00:05:48.840 | and has examined it, that's what I love about our CC program and classical education.
00:05:55.700 | It causes you to ask questions and to push back and to examine all the angles of every
00:06:04.380 | subject and every argument.
00:06:07.220 | And the truth is that God is plenty big enough and strong enough to stand up to any questions
00:06:12.300 | our children will ever ask.
00:06:14.860 | And so we need to be okay with them asking questions and pushing against, "I want my
00:06:21.520 | children, I always wanted my girls to push against the fate they had been brought up
00:06:26.920 | in while they were at home so that I could pray for them and I could shepherd their hearts,
00:06:34.940 | not just their brains."
00:06:36.160 | Yes, you are so right, because they have to make it their own.
00:06:38.640 | And that's the only way they're going to make it their own, right?
00:06:42.240 | Absolutely.
00:06:43.240 | Yes.
00:06:44.240 | And I loved it that you said that part of what classical education gave to your children
00:06:49.760 | was the ability to think through issues and to be confident in their beliefs and then
00:06:57.240 | be really sure in the way they conveyed their beliefs.
00:07:01.160 | Yeah, and that's the rhetoric, right?
00:07:02.720 | That's what we want them to do.
00:07:04.560 | And if I can tell us one story, Sarah, I think she was only in challenge A. I think it was
00:07:13.840 | challenge A, where they do the debates with – because it's been a while, but with the
00:07:19.760 | different issues and they take either side, you know, like abortion and –
00:07:24.760 | Yeah, we did it in big.
00:07:26.280 | We did it in big.
00:07:27.280 | Well, that's probably B, okay.
00:07:28.280 | And so she had gone through that and then she and her grandmother got on the topic of
00:07:33.960 | abortion and unbeknownst to me, I think I was away at a state manager or something or
00:07:39.520 | other and I got a phone call from Sarah later, but her grandmother was, you know, for abortion
00:07:47.760 | in the sense that not for killing babies, she said, but just because mothers should
00:07:51.520 | have the choice and, you know, what if this happened or what if, you know.
00:07:56.400 | And Sarah just logically went through and presented to her grandmother what it says
00:08:06.440 | in God's Word and, you know, what she had researched and her grandmother wrestled with
00:08:11.960 | it and her grandmother came back a day or two later and said that she lost sleep.
00:08:18.440 | She talked to her girlfriends about it, but she changed her mind.
00:08:22.840 | She said, "Sarah, you changed my mind."
00:08:26.120 | And I said to her, I said, "It wasn't Sarah who changed your mind."
00:08:30.080 | I said, "It was God, but God used her, but she, I mean, it was a beautiful example of,
00:08:37.840 | you know, the classical model, right?"
00:08:39.960 | And so it was just, it was one of those moments that it just was like, wow, you know, that
00:08:46.120 | you could see in real life.
00:08:49.580 | That is so powerful.
00:08:51.840 | That is a really powerful testimony, Melissa, for real, because to think that a classical
00:08:57.680 | education can equip your children to winsomely present the truth is powerful medicine.
00:09:07.240 | That's great.
00:09:08.240 | And what challenges me?
00:09:09.240 | They're like what, 13, 14 years old?
00:09:10.240 | Yeah, 12, 13 years old, 13 years old, yeah.
00:09:15.340 | I am amazed.
00:09:16.840 | That's really awesome.
00:09:17.840 | And I love what you said that the classical education taught them how to find answers,
00:09:24.400 | taught them how to ask.
00:09:25.760 | One thing that I absolutely love, classical education has taught my girls to ask questions,
00:09:31.720 | to never be afraid to ask questions.
00:09:34.060 | And they are constantly, they do not take statements at face value.
00:09:39.360 | They had way too much logic to do that.
00:09:42.120 | They will always ask a question, "Well, okay, so it's kind of like the debate thing, what
00:09:47.560 | are your sources?
00:09:48.560 | Why do you say that?"
00:09:51.600 | And if that's your conclusion, but your premises are not leading to that, then I'm suspicious
00:09:59.360 | and I need you to tell me more.
00:10:01.960 | They are not gullible.
00:10:03.380 | I guess that's what I'm saying.
00:10:05.160 | I'm happy that a classical education has made my girls very un-gullible.
00:10:12.600 | They're very wary.
00:10:14.600 | And like you said about your children, they are very confident in what they believe and
00:10:19.360 | they are confident in sharing what they believe.
00:10:23.180 | And that has been beautiful.
00:10:24.180 | And I know that some parents are probably thinking, "Yeah, well, some kids are just
00:10:28.760 | like that and some kids are not."
00:10:31.280 | I'm telling you, I had one that was born ready to debate everybody and one who would rather
00:10:39.840 | not ever and before every challenge debate ever asked if she really had to do it.
00:10:46.680 | She did not enjoy it.
00:10:48.040 | It is not her personality to be confrontational and she doesn't like to be in front of people.
00:10:57.780 | She really is a follower at heart, but a classical education gave her the tools of leadership
00:11:08.680 | and the feeling of responsibility to step into a leadership gap if there is one.
00:11:16.140 | She will absolutely step into that gap and she will absolutely talk about what she believes
00:11:23.440 | and why and make a very firm argument.
00:11:26.920 | And so I feel blessed.
00:11:28.880 | So it's not just the kids who are naturally debaters that benefit from a classical education.
00:11:36.080 | It is all of our children.
00:11:38.520 | Absolutely.
00:11:39.520 | Let me ask you, what has homeschooling taught you about your children?
00:11:46.720 | Oh, let's see.
00:11:51.240 | Well, I think being with your kids day in and day out, 24/7 really, I think you learn
00:12:03.080 | a lot about them.
00:12:04.080 | They learn a lot about you.
00:12:05.080 | Oh my goodness, and that's the scary part.
00:12:10.480 | But I think that ultimately, you see their personalities, but you also see where they
00:12:23.360 | can overcome things.
00:12:25.840 | Like you said, what about that child that's just really introverted and shy?
00:12:30.880 | My one who wouldn't stand up and do a presentation because he was so shy, to work through those
00:12:39.560 | things with them and with God's help and encouraging them to take that step.
00:12:48.880 | And so I think you really do see those things, but it's not only seeing them, it's learning
00:12:55.640 | to live with each other.
00:12:57.880 | It's learning to overcome things that you may be struggling with.
00:13:05.240 | I think one reason a lot of us homeschool too is to instill a biblical worldview, godly
00:13:12.080 | values in our children.
00:13:14.120 | Being able to, on a daily basis, impart that to our kids if they're struggling, let's stop
00:13:21.260 | and pray about this, or just being able to be with them day in and day out.
00:13:29.240 | It can be hard, but it's also a beautiful thing when you look back on it.
00:13:34.080 | Not every day is roses and sunshine for sure, but when you look back, to me, it was just
00:13:43.520 | a wonderful blessing from God to be able to be with them and to see them grow and embrace
00:13:56.940 | and to impart our godly values to them.
00:14:01.520 | I don't know if I've answered your question, really.
00:14:06.040 | Oh, yeah.
00:14:07.040 | I think you answered it at the beginning when you said, "Yes, we see the good, the bad,
00:14:11.820 | and the ugly."
00:14:12.820 | And they see it about us.
00:14:14.660 | That is true.
00:14:15.660 | I think we get to know our children in really unique ways because we see how they respond
00:14:23.880 | to being stretched.
00:14:26.120 | We see how they respond to doing easy things and to doing hard things.
00:14:33.820 | We see them when they are...
00:14:39.120 | Lee used to say, "We're all just little sinners running around, and so are our children."
00:14:45.040 | So we saw their little sinner moments, and then we saw the moments where God was really
00:14:49.760 | refining them.
00:14:52.920 | And I think you're right.
00:14:53.920 | It knit our hearts together in ways that would be difficult to do if we only saw each other
00:15:01.000 | a few hours a day.
00:15:03.760 | And I do think, although I was rarely happy for my children to see the negative sides
00:15:11.040 | of me, we don't want our children to know that we have feet of clay.
00:15:20.200 | They do grow up and realize it when they're teenagers, but when they're little...
00:15:24.760 | And I can remember times where I just had to go and apologize to my children.
00:15:30.740 | I would stand outside myself and hear what I was saying and cringe, and just think, "Wow,
00:15:36.900 | that is absolutely not the lesson I would tell anybody to teach, and here it is what
00:15:42.760 | I have passed on."
00:15:45.320 | I think it is beautiful when God lets us see how a mistake that we have made and apologized
00:15:55.840 | for has been rectified and become a triumph.
00:16:01.580 | That is beautiful.
00:16:02.580 | Definitely.
00:16:03.580 | I can remember when I was...
00:16:07.220 | I didn't do every assignment with every child every year, but one year one of my daughters
00:16:14.500 | and I were going to do chemistry, we were doing chemistry together.
00:16:18.900 | And hey, I have to say that the CC chemistry is more chemistry than I ever did in high
00:16:23.700 | school and it was a really long time ago, so I was struggling.
00:16:27.320 | I was struggling with some of that stuff and I was busy and I frankly had a bad attitude
00:16:33.080 | about chemistry and I didn't really want to be doing that.
00:16:35.160 | I had other things to do.
00:16:37.200 | And I can remember sitting with her and she was confused about how to do the math of some
00:16:42.940 | of the chemistry.
00:16:44.540 | And I can hear myself now saying to her, "You just went to class.
00:16:50.700 | You learned how to do this and Ms. Carrie showed you this in class.
00:16:54.400 | It was her job to teach this to you before you came home.
00:16:57.600 | So did she not teach it or did you not learn it?
00:17:00.180 | What is the problem here?"
00:17:01.800 | And my daughter was stricken and I heard that and it's that kind of reverb over and over.
00:17:08.060 | And I thought, "Oh my gosh, I've spent all these years telling parents that we're responsible
00:17:14.380 | for our children's education, not their tutors."
00:17:18.220 | And so I just had to say to her, I said, "Okay, honey, I'm really sorry.
00:17:21.320 | I have to apologize.
00:17:22.480 | I was making this.
00:17:23.880 | It is not Ms. Carrie's job to be your teacher.
00:17:27.120 | Mama is your teacher and if you are having a problem, then it's my job to help you solve
00:17:32.040 | it."
00:17:33.040 | And I said, "Here's the truth.
00:17:34.040 | I don't remember how to do this and it's math and I don't remember how to do this.
00:17:38.400 | So I think you need to go and ask Daddy, the math minor, 'Oh no, don't make me ask Daddy,
00:17:43.920 | please don't make me ask Daddy.'"
00:17:46.320 | And so I was like, "Okay, fine."
00:17:49.380 | With a bit of bad grace, I said, "Fine.
00:17:51.620 | I will get Daddy to teach me and then I will teach you."
00:17:56.580 | I said, "Because it is our job."
00:17:58.980 | I said, "Actually, Sarah, it's your job to learn, but it's my job as your homeschool
00:18:03.780 | teacher to help you learn."
00:18:05.440 | So we did it.
00:18:06.780 | Daddy taught me, I taught Sarah, we were all good.
00:18:11.900 | And I thought, "Okay, that lesson's over.
00:18:14.300 | I don't have to think about that again."
00:18:15.740 | And I didn't think about it for years until she went to college and ended up in a photography
00:18:22.720 | class that it was like the second level and she was having problems.
00:18:28.200 | And I said, "Honey, why are you in this class?
00:18:31.520 | Because you didn't have the prerequisite."
00:18:33.500 | She said, "Oh, my advisor said it was fine and I started again."
00:18:36.780 | "Well, your advisor, that's her job.
00:18:39.060 | She ought to know better than that and you just need to drop it and go take the other
00:18:43.620 | class."
00:18:44.620 | I said, "Yeah, I'll take care of it."
00:18:45.900 | So weeks went by and I had forgotten to ask her about it and I said, "Did you drop that
00:18:50.860 | class?"
00:18:51.860 | She said, "No, mama."
00:18:52.860 | I said, "Why?"
00:18:53.860 | And she said, "Well, I could tell what it was that I didn't know.
00:19:00.000 | It was a bunch of grammar.
00:19:02.020 | It was all the stuff that I would have gotten.
00:19:04.780 | The stuff that I would have gotten in the prerequisite class was a bunch of grammar."
00:19:08.340 | And she said, "So I knew that's what I was missing.
00:19:11.300 | So I just went online and I found it and I wrote it out and I taught it to myself and
00:19:17.040 | I'm fine now because mama, it's my job to learn."
00:19:20.540 | Good for her.
00:19:21.540 | Wow.
00:19:22.540 | I was so flabbergasted.
00:19:24.360 | She's telling me this on the phone and I'm just crying thinking, "Okay, so she internalized
00:19:29.380 | that last lesson, but I'm still learning it."
00:19:32.940 | So that's what I learned about my children is that praise the Lord, sometimes they learn
00:19:38.820 | the lessons faster than I do.
00:19:40.900 | Yup.
00:19:41.900 | Yup.
00:19:42.900 | And that they are teachable spirits and that is just a beautiful thing.
00:19:46.940 | So that's something that homeschooling taught me about myself that I still live in the flesh
00:19:52.160 | sometimes.
00:19:53.160 | What does homeschooling taught you about yourself, Melissa?
00:19:55.460 | I do too, Lisa.
00:19:58.260 | And it really showed me the gaps in my education because I see, even to this day, I still struggle
00:20:10.780 | with asking questions and being confident and because I didn't grow up that way.
00:20:22.060 | It was basically input and output.
00:20:25.380 | Your teacher got you something, you memorized it, you spit it out on a test and got straight
00:20:29.700 | A's and then you totally forgot it and you didn't process anything.
00:20:35.040 | You didn't make it your own.
00:20:36.040 | You didn't go through that dialectic stage at all, really.
00:20:40.300 | And so, I really saw the gaps in my education and to see where my children are much better
00:20:49.020 | equipped and not only with education, not only educationally, but in all aspects of
00:20:58.460 | life because I love that they make things their own and that they ask questions and
00:21:08.860 | they don't just take what someone else says at face value and those kinds of things.
00:21:16.120 | So I really did see the gaps in my education, for sure.
00:21:20.100 | And obviously, too, I am a center saved by grace.
00:21:28.660 | All those things that you mentioned really set our kids up to learn for a lifetime that
00:21:36.740 | the habit of asking probing questions and examining something from a bunch of different
00:21:44.780 | directions that the encouragement to push back against ideas and not just accept them,
00:21:53.740 | the whole encouragement to chase their curiosity.
00:21:58.220 | I think that's what homeschooling and classical education does.
00:22:01.460 | It gives you permission to chase your passion and to pursue that curiosity.
00:22:08.140 | And that does set us up well to learn for a lifetime because we feel like we can chase
00:22:14.140 | our curiosity and know how to research and find an answer.
00:22:20.140 | I think that's kind of fun.
00:22:21.700 | I mean, I'm sure you are, too.
00:22:23.380 | I'm just thankful that I was able to reclaim some of my own education because I was teaching
00:22:29.580 | my children.
00:22:34.900 | I think that has been a big blessing for me and for David, that we have reclaimed a lot
00:22:42.060 | of what we were never taught and then reclaimed a lot of what we forgot because we had nothing
00:22:48.900 | to hang it on.
00:22:51.140 | We didn't have a file folder to put that in, and so it didn't get saved.
00:22:56.900 | One of the things that I've loved about reclaiming my education is seeing the connections between
00:23:01.900 | things.
00:23:02.900 | There was nobody who really tried to tie it all together, especially in high school.
00:23:09.980 | You have a different teacher for every subject and they act like they're the only teacher
00:23:15.180 | and their subject doesn't touch any other one.
00:23:18.500 | So that has been a great reclamation for us, I think.
00:23:25.660 | What habits, so think about habits that you and your kids and your husband, too, what
00:23:32.620 | did y'all practice or what habits did you develop as you homeschooled?
00:23:38.860 | I would say some of the habits would be reading together.
00:23:47.700 | All my children love to read, but the practice of reading together and reading God's Word
00:23:56.220 | together, which I love, and what other habits would there be?
00:24:04.100 | Research, going to the library and doing research together was something, too, that I remember
00:24:15.200 | doing on a regular basis and you're having me pull way back in my brain.
00:24:20.560 | I know.
00:24:21.560 | I know.
00:24:22.560 | I just think it's so valuable.
00:24:23.980 | We talk a lot about, you know, we've started talking in CC about the five core habits.
00:24:31.100 | There were a lot of habits that we've all practiced with our kids and in our families
00:24:37.660 | for years that go beyond the five core habits.
00:24:41.260 | So I just wondered, you know, what habits you have.
00:24:45.400 | Maybe just spending time together, you know, whether it's sitting around the breakfast
00:24:51.380 | table reading God's Word and praying for the day, or if it's going on a nature walk, you
00:24:56.880 | know, or whatever it is, you know, it's spending that time together.
00:25:06.260 | And the kids spending time together, too, when they're little, you know, like you were
00:25:10.620 | saying when we were talking about, you know, the benefits, what do we see, the benefits
00:25:14.880 | of having all of our kids at home and homeschooling them, you know, not only do they, we as parents
00:25:22.860 | get to spend time, they spend time with each other and they see, they learn to interact
00:25:27.280 | with each other because, you know, you always tell them, "Oh, well, you can pick your friends
00:25:31.700 | but God gave you your family."
00:25:33.340 | And so you need to learn to love and forgive and live with and, you know, your family because
00:25:42.060 | they're going to always be there, you know, because sometimes you might have a friend
00:25:45.220 | that you have a falling out with and you never see them again or talk to them again kind
00:25:48.980 | of thing, which isn't a good thing, I'm not saying that, but your family, you know, you're
00:25:54.260 | living with them and you've got to learn to work through those things.
00:25:57.800 | It's that sanctification process, right?
00:25:59.940 | I love that conflict resolution.
00:26:02.540 | That's right.
00:26:03.540 | It's a great habit to practice, and you're right, it's sometimes the first, the family
00:26:11.300 | is where we either learn to do that well or learn to avoid it.
00:26:17.460 | And so, yeah, absolutely, that's a great habit to pursue.
00:26:22.900 | When we, I'm thinking about both when the girls were little and as they grew, we tried
00:26:29.460 | to develop the habit of serving, and when they're really little, I mean, we tried to
00:26:37.900 | encourage them to serve one another or to serve somebody in our family or to serve our
00:26:43.220 | family.
00:26:44.220 | So like, yeah, I mean, you're not going to get an allowance for setting the table because
00:26:50.420 | you are serving our family.
00:26:52.700 | You're serving the family like mama serves the family by cooking dinner and daddy serves
00:26:57.380 | the family by bringing wood in for the fireplace.
00:27:00.180 | You are serving the family when you set the table.
00:27:03.200 | And so then we practice serving other people, you know, like doing something for a shut-in
00:27:07.460 | neighbor or visiting the nursing home with our church group or something.
00:27:12.980 | So serving...
00:27:13.980 | That's a great one, yes, we are big on that, too.
00:27:19.180 | Yeah, we played outside a lot.
00:27:21.780 | The girls played outside a lot.
00:27:23.300 | We did not do, and admittedly, my kids grew up when screens were not much of a thing.
00:27:29.940 | But a lot of them, there were handheld games then and there was TV, but we did not, we
00:27:36.220 | didn't do screens.
00:27:37.340 | They played outside.
00:27:38.500 | School day was over that I would turn that and I discovered later that what they mostly
00:27:43.140 | played outside was whatever we had been reading or studying about.
00:27:48.060 | They made pirate ships and they made castles and prairie houses and brick ovens out of
00:27:55.860 | bricks and a aluminum foil and all kinds of stuff.
00:27:58.740 | So we played outside a lot.
00:28:00.720 | That was a habit.
00:28:02.800 | We did like you, we read a lot together.
00:28:06.460 | We had the habit of praying together every night and every morning as a family and said
00:28:14.300 | that was good.
00:28:15.300 | And even teaching them things around the house, like whether it's to cook or to do laundry
00:28:21.640 | or those kinds of things that are important life skills.
00:28:27.760 | And I think as homeschoolers, we probably did it at an earlier age than a lot of people
00:28:32.860 | do.
00:28:33.860 | Well, because they were home.
00:28:34.860 | That's right.
00:28:35.860 | They were home when we were doing the chores.
00:28:37.580 | That's right.
00:28:38.580 | And it prepares them for life once you get out of the house.
00:28:44.300 | Your wife will be glad that you know how to do this.
00:28:47.420 | I can remember one of my daughters going to school and she was just absolutely shocked.
00:28:53.220 | Her roommate did not know how to do it.
00:28:55.300 | There were a lot of things.
00:28:56.300 | She didn't know how to sweep effectively.
00:29:01.780 | She did not know how to iron.
00:29:03.980 | And so my daughter was like, "What in the world?"
00:29:06.580 | And I think my husband got a real charge out of it because he used to preach these things
00:29:11.580 | as life skills, "I'm teaching you life skills.
00:29:14.620 | These are good life skills.
00:29:15.860 | Just how do you know how to live your life?"
00:29:17.900 | And so she got to college and passed on a few of those life skills to her friends.
00:29:23.420 | That's great.
00:29:25.380 | Yes.
00:29:26.900 | They're all good habits.
00:29:27.900 | I think I just want all of our listeners to hear there are habits that belong in your
00:29:36.460 | home school that you might not think of as academic, but they are habits that you practice.
00:29:44.680 | Maybe it's simple habits like taking turns.
00:29:49.260 | You know, is it your turn to pick the family movie?
00:29:53.200 | Is it your turn to pick the kind of ice cream?
00:29:55.780 | Is it your turn to pick the cereal?
00:29:57.700 | I mean, it's taking turns.
00:30:00.060 | It's a habit of showing mercy to people who've made a mistake.
00:30:05.220 | Like we trained our girls to not only give apologies, but to accept apologies.
00:30:14.120 | You train their character.
00:30:15.380 | There's all kinds of habits.
00:30:17.740 | So for you, what has been the most challenging part of homeschooling?
00:30:23.700 | I think that it's always challenging when, you know, one thing that I was really challenging
00:30:31.940 | with, especially one of my children, was when they don't get what you're trying to teach.
00:30:42.620 | And none of us, I remember saying, none of us know everything, and we all have to learn.
00:30:49.260 | So it's okay if you don't understand it at first, but working with that child and not
00:30:57.060 | getting frustrated myself, because I did that many times, and helping them to see because,
00:31:05.340 | you know, when they're struggling through something and you're a little frustrated because
00:31:10.060 | they're kind of taking it out on you, and so it's, you know, I think it's those kinds
00:31:16.980 | of things.
00:31:17.980 | It's more of the, not so much the academics, but the character traits that, you know, those
00:31:27.740 | life things and those personality things, you know, working through those things, I
00:31:32.860 | think were harder than, you know, academics.
00:31:36.420 | Yes, it was hard to, like you said, with chemistry, you know, it was hard to teach things that
00:31:41.540 | you don't remember, or maybe you weren't really good at it when you were in high school, because
00:31:46.540 | I remember people telling me that all the time, like, "How can you teach everything?
00:31:50.260 | How can you teach physics and chemistry and, you know, all those things that, how do you
00:31:57.260 | know all of that?"
00:31:58.900 | And I'm like, "I don't."
00:32:00.900 | I have to learn a lot with these children.
00:32:02.680 | But I can learn alongside.
00:32:03.680 | Yes.
00:32:04.680 | I'm going to learn alongside of them.
00:32:05.680 | That's right.
00:32:06.680 | And so, but I think harder than all of that was, you know, more of the personality and
00:32:13.860 | character things, because you are with your children all the time, and we're all human.
00:32:21.500 | And that's just, some days it was hard, you know?
00:32:25.740 | Yeah.
00:32:26.740 | Yeah.
00:32:27.740 | But if you think about it, those are the eternal things.
00:32:32.380 | I mean, it, I'm not saying it's not good to know how to do a proof, you know, a logic
00:32:38.940 | proof or geometry, that is a fine thing.
00:32:42.460 | I am saying that's not an eternal significance thing.
00:32:49.580 | And the Lord has given us our children and trusted us to guide them to the eternal things.
00:32:57.740 | And sometimes, I completely agree with you that that is the most challenging part of
00:33:01.560 | homeschooling.
00:33:02.560 | So parents who are listening to this thinking, "Oh, I don't know how I'm going to do high
00:33:06.620 | school math."
00:33:07.620 | That is the least of your worries.
00:33:09.620 | That is so true.
00:33:10.620 | That is going to be the least of your worries.
00:33:12.880 | And then you need to remember too, like when they, you know, they graduate and they become
00:33:18.820 | young adults themselves, you have poured into them, you have prayed for them, you have instilled,
00:33:24.780 | you know, the biblical worldview, the godly values, but then you have to entrust them
00:33:29.740 | to God and they then have to make their own decisions.
00:33:33.840 | And it may not always be, you know, what you would want it to be.
00:33:39.540 | And that's hard, you know, that's hard, but just you have to, you know, God is teaching
00:33:45.900 | me to remember He is faithful and, you know, my husband and I, you know, to the best of
00:33:53.980 | our ability, you know, or raise them the way we felt God wanted us to, but then they have
00:34:00.140 | to make their own, you know, choices when they get to be older.
00:34:04.180 | And so, so yeah, so that's, you have to remember that too.
00:34:09.860 | Absolutely.
00:34:10.860 | In hindsight, what have you discovered to be the most necessary trait for a homeschooling
00:34:20.140 | parent?
00:34:21.140 | I would say if I had to just pick one, I would say humility, probably.
00:34:26.740 | And just remembering, you know, that I am nothing and, you know, I'm a sinner and I
00:34:36.340 | am nothing.
00:34:37.460 | And one of my favorite verses is, "He must increase and I must decrease."
00:34:41.260 | And just remembering that because it is not easy, you know, nothing about raising kids
00:34:48.780 | is easy anyway, but homeschooling is not easy, but it's so rewarding.
00:34:54.860 | But, you know, it really, you have to rely on God.
00:35:00.440 | And so I think just, you know, humility and remembering who He is and who I am, so.
00:35:09.460 | That you know what, I don't think if you had thought for a week, you couldn't have come
00:35:12.620 | up with a better answer.
00:35:13.620 | I think that's very true.
00:35:14.620 | And we can't take pride in our children either, right?
00:35:16.900 | I mean, that's, you can't, I mean, it's just, you know, I also love that verse, "I have
00:35:24.260 | no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth," which is so true.
00:35:28.060 | We don't.
00:35:29.060 | We have no greater joy, but it's not because of us, you know?
00:35:33.900 | We spend most of our time trying to get out of God's way for Him to do what He wants to
00:35:38.980 | do in the lives of our children, who He loves more than we ever could, if we can even imagine
00:35:45.100 | that.
00:35:46.100 | Okay, what would you tell a beginning homeschooler to do first?
00:35:51.900 | So there's somebody who's just considering this homeschooling journey, and they look
00:35:57.600 | all the way down to the end, and they think, "Oh gosh, I can't look that far.
00:36:01.460 | I'm just going to look right here in front of me."
00:36:03.780 | What's the first thing they should do?
00:36:06.340 | I would say just, what does your child need, you know?
00:36:10.060 | I mean, what does your child need?
00:36:14.060 | And it's not always just academics.
00:36:15.820 | I mean, yes, we have to get through the academics.
00:36:18.140 | I mean, I think we've made it clear that we're not saying you don't, but what does
00:36:23.300 | your child need?
00:36:25.580 | And then you can go from there.
00:36:29.440 | And so that would probably be the first thing I would say, and then just asking God to help
00:36:39.260 | you.
00:36:40.260 | Yes.
00:36:41.260 | Yeah.
00:36:42.260 | See, this is why you are the experienced homeschool mom, because I can feel it.
00:36:47.780 | I can feel all the listeners who are just homeschooled, just thinking about homeschool,
00:36:53.400 | the beginning parents thinking, "Well, I guess I would test their reading level or I would
00:36:57.700 | see what they're able to do."
00:36:58.700 | We're all thinking things like that, but so you know what is necessary.
00:37:05.140 | Who is my child?
00:37:07.820 | What are they like?
00:37:10.060 | How has God shaped them and what do they need to become the most them that God made them
00:37:20.780 | to be?
00:37:21.780 | That's right.
00:37:22.780 | And then you don't have to be perfect.
00:37:25.060 | I mean, you can try something with them.
00:37:27.460 | If it doesn't work, hey, change it.
00:37:29.460 | Try a different thing.
00:37:30.460 | I had one child that I must have tried.
00:37:32.660 | I felt like I tried every spelling curriculum out there, and he just was not getting it.
00:37:37.420 | And I talked to everybody, "What do you use?
00:37:41.820 | What do you use?"
00:37:42.820 | And he was frustrated.
00:37:43.820 | I was frustrated.
00:37:44.820 | I'm like, "Oh."
00:37:45.820 | But we just kept on.
00:37:49.140 | And I finally, the Lord finally helped me find, I mean, we hit on something that worked
00:37:53.820 | for him, and it was what he needed and it wasn't what, yeah, it's good to talk to other
00:38:01.300 | people and find out what they're doing and all that stuff, but remember, it may not be
00:38:04.780 | for your child, and it's okay to change, to change midship and just go a different way
00:38:12.900 | if they need to.
00:38:14.860 | Absolutely.
00:38:15.860 | Absolutely.
00:38:16.860 | This has been the best thing to catch up with you.
00:38:20.140 | Oh, you too.
00:38:22.140 | And it's the best thing to pluck your wisdom from the years.
00:38:28.460 | Last question.
00:38:29.460 | If you had it to do over again, would you do it?
00:38:35.020 | Would you homeschool your kids?
00:38:36.540 | It was worth every tear, every late night, every joy, every, it was definitely, oh yes.
00:38:46.900 | I think beyond anything else, listeners, that's what we want you to know that every hard knock,
00:38:54.580 | every bruise, every struggle is worth it.
00:39:02.220 | Finding your hearts together as a family, developing a rhythm of learning as a family,
00:39:10.100 | a family culture that hangs together, that celebrates one another is worth devoting your
00:39:19.260 | life to.
00:39:20.660 | So go and invest in your children, go and invest in your family.
00:39:25.860 | It will pay dividends for life, and you'll never be sorry.
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