ac912551-6287-d87e-ea1f-0bac07d3c27a
00:00:00.000 | I am James Hong and welcome to the Surpassing Value Podcast.
00:00:14.860 | The fuel and desire for this podcast was born out of a compulsion to flesh out what's
00:00:18.980 | been going on in the midst of an ocean of megaphones that may not actually withstand
00:00:23.840 | the test of scrutiny.
00:00:25.860 | As a signpost theologian, I will do my best to filter out the impurities and point people
00:00:31.760 | in the right direction.
00:00:36.880 | For episode 11, I want to spend some time talking about the most difficult time I've
00:00:43.840 | ever faced in my life so far and how it relates to the conception of life.
00:00:50.440 | Many who are listening already know exactly what this episode is going to be about.
00:00:55.740 | As I stated in the introductory episode to this podcast, now and then I want to be vulnerable
00:01:01.460 | with the listener to bring a sense of humanity into the conversation.
00:01:06.620 | Knowledge is powerful, in particular when it is personal.
00:01:11.060 | I'm hoping my vulnerability disarms you and allows us to see each other as fellow humans,
00:01:17.140 | fellow image bearers as is every single human being that has ever walked this planet.
00:01:23.120 | As I'm recording this, I'm 39 and I'll be turning 40 shortly.
00:01:28.700 | Not an old man, but not a young man either.
00:01:34.460 | The most difficult period in my life by far, overwhelmingly, was when my wife Diane had
00:01:40.460 | her ectopic pregnancy.
00:01:43.220 | In December of 2019, Diane had been complaining about stomach pain for a bit of time.
00:01:51.860 | It started off as slight stomach pains never went away and the pain only increased over
00:01:57.900 | several days to the point of unbearability.
00:02:02.600 | Not wanting to miss work and me just going along with it, Diane finished work one weekday
00:02:08.800 | and we had pre-planned to go to the hospital afterwards.
00:02:13.360 | I was in trial during this time and just to articulate an understatement, trials are extremely
00:02:19.740 | stressful.
00:02:21.520 | And while you're engaged in one, they absorb your entire life.
00:02:26.360 | In any case, we come home, we change, we go to the hospital and wait as Diane is called
00:02:35.920 | to get evaluated.
00:02:38.160 | She gets called in, goes in.
00:02:41.440 | After some time, the nurse that had called Diane in comes out, looks at me, and calls
00:02:47.380 | me inside.
00:02:48.960 | He proceeds to tell me that he's probably not supposed to be telling me this, but he
00:02:54.040 | couldn't help himself, he couldn't keep it to himself.
00:02:57.560 | He looks at Diane and myself and states, "Congratulations."
00:03:04.140 | I fall to the floor in absolute disbelief and Diane is the one who's sort of like,
00:03:10.440 | "Get it together, man."
00:03:13.200 | We're escorted to a nearby patient room and I proceed to find out why Diane is nowhere
00:03:20.120 | near as thrilled and elated as I am.
00:03:24.620 | Because of the pain she had been experiencing, she had a strong suspicion that her pregnancy
00:03:30.580 | might be ectopic.
00:03:34.160 | She began to articulate similar stories from her group of friends who had gone through
00:03:38.800 | an ectopic pregnancy.
00:03:41.540 | As I listen to Diane, I'm reasoning internally, thinking, "Well, if this is indeed an ectopic
00:03:46.700 | pregnancy, the nurse wouldn't have told us that she was pregnant, right?"
00:03:51.600 | You see, in context, implied that it was a viable pregnancy.
00:03:59.380 | Ectopic pregnancies seem to be relatively common.
00:04:02.860 | One would think that would be something you check for prior to informing a couple they
00:04:09.580 | are pregnant, right?
00:04:12.660 | Diane's concerns at the time seemed a little too pessimistically cautious.
00:04:19.660 | At least to me.
00:04:21.140 | I'm already on the whole "I know it's a boy" train, thinking about further plans
00:04:26.540 | to clean out our second bedroom, to get a baby ready.
00:04:32.360 | The doctor comes in.
00:04:33.740 | I make some lame joke about him being Korean since I'm Korean too, but I could tell from
00:04:38.860 | the moment he was walking in that he was apprehensive.
00:04:42.980 | The optimism is slowly starting to leak out of my body, and he asks us what information
00:04:51.340 | we've received so far.
00:04:54.420 | The tone and the manner in which he posed that question tipped me off, and I thought
00:05:00.900 | to myself that I don't want to get this nurse reprimanded or fired, so I didn't
00:05:06.700 | play it on too thick with the nurse.
00:05:08.860 | I just conveyed to the doctor that we were told Diane was pregnant, but in the same breath,
00:05:14.500 | I also stated that she was concerned that it could be an ectopic pregnancy based on
00:05:20.300 | some of the symptoms that she had.
00:05:23.260 | The doctor readily agreed, and in fact had already put in a request that we be received
00:05:27.980 | at a sister location to the hospital where we were at, where Diane could be examined
00:05:33.900 | since the hospital we were at wasn't equipped to do so.
00:05:40.340 | We gather ourselves, and we begin to depart from that particular location.
00:05:47.860 | As we're leaving, the nurse waves congrats, the same LVN who had told us we were pregnant
00:05:53.860 | with this huge smile, and looking back, I can't tell you if I was even able to muster
00:06:00.660 | up the fortitude to even crack a smile.
00:06:03.300 | I just know that we left.
00:06:06.220 | We get to the sister location, pretty defeated at this point.
00:06:12.900 | Diane begins her examination.
00:06:17.700 | Sure enough, Diane had not only undergone an ectopic pregnancy, but she had undergone
00:06:25.760 | massive internal bleeding.
00:06:29.460 | Surgery not only needed to happen, it needed to happen now.
00:06:35.460 | From here, let's recount the events that have occurred so far.
00:06:38.900 | We went from a mild stomachache, so Diane took some Pepto-Bismol pills, to this mild
00:06:45.980 | stomachache transferring or morphing into ongoing piercing pain where Diane could not
00:06:56.460 | find any relief.
00:06:57.900 | The pain was enough to warrant a trip to urgent care.
00:07:03.340 | We have been told that she was pregnant with our first child.
00:07:06.580 | We were then told that she was probably technically pregnant, but that the pregnancy is most likely
00:07:15.100 | not a viable one.
00:07:17.440 | Then I'm told she has to undergo emergency surgery in order to have her life preserved.
00:07:24.460 | For those who don't know what an ectopic pregnancy is, an ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilized
00:07:28.980 | egg attaches to a fallopian tube as opposed to the fertilized egg attaching to the uterus
00:07:34.780 | as in a normal pregnancy.
00:07:36.820 | In Diane's case, the fertilized egg, aka our first child, had attached to one of her fallopian
00:07:44.820 | tubes and ruptured it.
00:07:46.340 | The ruptured fallopian tube was a cause of massive internal bleeding.
00:07:53.660 | The doctor who is going to perform the surgery comes out and explains the situation to me.
00:07:59.260 | She looks at me and states the obvious, the obvious meaning that the fertilized egg, aka
00:08:04.620 | our first child, was going to die.
00:08:07.980 | His life was going to be terminated.
00:08:11.740 | Everything is happening extremely quickly, so I want to be able to process everything.
00:08:18.740 | I say that because the doctor must have noticed me hesitate even if it was just for one second
00:08:24.780 | as I was processing everything.
00:08:27.940 | She proceeds to tell me that she wants my permission to perform the surgery which essentially
00:08:34.540 | would terminate the life of our unborn child and save my wife.
00:08:40.620 | Remember, the life of our unborn child is not viable, period.
00:08:47.940 | Medical science currently has no way of saving our unborn child in that particular circumstance
00:08:57.220 | that he was in.
00:08:58.220 | The doctor went on to tell me that no matter what I say, she is going to save the life
00:09:03.700 | of my wife since that is just her duty, however she was still seeking my consent.
00:09:10.100 | This portion of the conversation happened, I think, within a matter of seconds, but that
00:09:14.620 | matter of time completely belies the weightiness I felt about the subject matter and ultimately
00:09:23.300 | my intentional and premeditated decision to give consent to the doctor to perform the
00:09:30.620 | surgery thereby ending the life of our unborn child and saving my wife.
00:09:39.900 | I think 5 or 10 seconds must have passed before I emphatically told the doctor to please march
00:09:46.340 | forward with the surgery and save Diane.
00:09:50.520 | They had already begun prepping Diane for surgery in anticipation of my reply.
00:09:55.620 | She's stretched out on a gurney and she's already received some type of anesthetic that's
00:10:01.900 | going to put her under so she's nearly out of consciousness.
00:10:07.940 | I walk over to her so I could see her before her surgery.
00:10:13.820 | I could still picture her very clearly prepped for surgery, lying on the gurney, and because
00:10:22.100 | she's under the anesthetic, she's barely conscious.
00:10:28.900 | I have to tell you, there's something quite piercing about seeing your spouse in complete
00:10:40.580 | weakness with heavy eyes and barely acknowledging your presence.
00:10:51.420 | Although the doctor herself seemed extremely knowledgeable, extremely capable, and experienced
00:10:58.420 | one could understand my nervousness about losing my wife in that situation.
00:11:05.500 | After all, we had both just gone through a complete catastrophe vis-a-vis this pregnancy
00:11:15.940 | fiasco, this ectopic blunder.
00:11:21.740 | Outside the doctor who told me she's performed this surgery many times and coupled with what
00:11:28.620 | just happened, you could see how my confidence in everyone is not at a satisfactory level.
00:11:40.420 | Sitting there outside the OR and alone, prior to even meeting with the doctor, you better
00:11:50.180 | believe there were some desperate prayers being lifted up.
00:11:56.540 | I didn't care if it was a public place, the life of my wife was on the line, at least
00:12:02.180 | in my mind.
00:12:04.500 | All I could do is beg like I've never begged before.
00:12:11.900 | Diane's parents and Diane's brother, Sam, they arrive and we're just sitting there
00:12:17.940 | praying on our own.
00:12:20.260 | I don't remember how much time passes, but enough time passes and the doctor walks out
00:12:28.980 | to us.
00:12:31.540 | Before she walks out to us, I caught her smiling which already spoke volumes to me.
00:12:37.780 | The doctor relays to us that the surgery was a complete success and that Diane was going
00:12:43.980 | to be perfectly fine.
00:12:46.800 | We go out to see her and she's barely conscious on the gurney, just like how I described earlier,
00:12:52.300 | except perhaps even more so, but at least I know now that the worst is over.
00:13:00.580 | We were in the hospital for a total of two days before Diane was discharged.
00:13:07.740 | We have another huge scare a couple days later wherein Diane was rushed to the hospital again.
00:13:13.340 | I again went through this whole second phase of dread and terror of losing Diane.
00:13:18.760 | As it turns out, the excruciating pain that caused her to go to the ER the second time
00:13:24.760 | was based on after effects of the ectopic pregnancy.
00:13:28.180 | Of course, when that happened, I was still in trial.
00:13:32.000 | I have to request a recess from trial and I rush out to the hospital, but that's a whole
00:13:36.440 | second episode I won't detail here.
00:13:42.880 | Let me park here though and backtrack a little bit to the obvious moral dilemma I faced here.
00:13:52.960 | As a Christian who has complete faith in the Word of God, I believe that life begins at
00:14:03.800 | conception.
00:14:06.560 | I believe that life begins at conception.
00:14:10.960 | Filled with the Word of God, science itself seems to point at life beginning at conception.
00:14:20.360 | This isn't meant to be political in nature.
00:14:23.560 | Remember in episode two when we talked about dialectics that the culture pushes on us?
00:14:31.140 | As we enter into this discussion, this portion of this episode, be careful not to instinctively
00:14:37.080 | assume a culturally forced dialectic as opposed to an objective, truthful one.
00:14:46.360 | Culturally imposed dialectics have shown at times to blind the observer from seeing the
00:14:53.980 | truth of the matter or the truth of the origin.
00:15:01.040 | I'm not stating that science seems to point at life beginning at conception because of
00:15:09.120 | republicanism.
00:15:11.920 | What I mean is when you see how human beings are formed in the womb, there's an immensely
00:15:19.640 | strong medical case, biological case, physiological case, that is easily made for life beginning
00:15:31.000 | at conception.
00:15:35.400 | WebMD states the following with respect to conception, "Fertilization happens when
00:15:42.960 | a sperm meets and penetrates an egg.
00:15:46.080 | It is also called conception.
00:15:48.640 | At this moment, the genetic makeup is complete, including the sex of the baby."
00:15:54.800 | Moreover, a baby's heartbeat could be heard as early as three weeks after fertilization.
00:16:09.360 | What does the word of God say with respect to conception?
00:16:14.160 | Jeremiah 1.5 states, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
00:16:20.560 | And before you were born, I consecrated you.
00:16:24.120 | I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
00:16:27.960 | Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
00:16:30.360 | And before you were born, I consecrated you.
00:16:33.360 | I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
00:16:38.480 | The word for knew is a word that connotes intimacy.
00:16:46.120 | So before Jeremiah was formed, before we were formed, we were known by God.
00:16:52.140 | Not like an acquaintance.
00:16:55.560 | Not like an acquaintance.
00:16:58.480 | Known to God in every dimension, aspect, angle.
00:17:03.240 | Known to God completely, intricately, and exhaustively.
00:17:08.960 | Psalm 139.13-16 states, "For you created my innermost parts.
00:17:15.000 | You wove me in my mother's womb.
00:17:18.320 | I will give thanks to you because I am awesomely and wonderfully made.
00:17:23.840 | Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.
00:17:27.360 | My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret, and skillfully formed in the
00:17:32.880 | depths of the earth.
00:17:34.360 | Your eyes have seen my formless substance, and in your book were written.
00:17:41.160 | All the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."
00:17:48.640 | In observable science, we know that we are woven when the DNA from a mother and father
00:17:55.360 | come together to form a complete, separate person, which is when?
00:18:02.920 | The moment an egg is fertilized by the sperm, aka conception.
00:18:11.800 | That is completely correlative with being formed and wove.
00:18:19.560 | What I mean to say is that the word choice used in the Bible very much describes empirical
00:18:28.840 | data, observable phenomenon, with respect to conception.
00:18:37.560 | Luke 1.31-36 states, "And behold, you will conceive in your womb and give birth to a
00:18:46.000 | son, and you shall name him Jesus.
00:18:49.040 | He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give
00:18:53.200 | him the throne of his father David.
00:18:55.640 | And he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.
00:18:59.280 | But Mary said to the angel, 'How will this be, since I am a virgin?'
00:19:03.940 | The angel answered and said to her, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power
00:19:07.600 | of the Most High will overshadow you.
00:19:09.920 | For that reason also the holy child will be called the Son of God.
00:19:13.400 | And behold, even your relative Elizabeth herself has conceived a son in her old age; and she
00:19:19.240 | who was called infertile is now in her sixth month."
00:19:25.000 | In Luke 1.31-35, the prophecy is that you will conceive in your womb and bear a son.
00:19:34.320 | So conceiving is a separate act from being born.
00:19:40.280 | Conception is wholly different.
00:19:43.120 | Wholly different.
00:19:44.120 | They're connected, but they're wholly different from being born.
00:19:50.800 | Connected yet separate.
00:19:54.880 | This distinction is interesting because the moment of conception as being the beginning
00:20:01.240 | is echoed.
00:20:03.360 | In Luke 1.36, Elizabeth had conceived a son, and that description is given to her as she
00:20:09.260 | is six months pregnant.
00:20:13.160 | And behold, even your relative Elizabeth herself has conceived a son in her old age; and she
00:20:18.960 | who was called infertile is now in her sixth month.
00:20:23.980 | Psalm 51.5 states, "Behold, I was brought forth in guilt, and in sin my mother conceived
00:20:29.960 | me."
00:20:30.960 | Matthew 1.20 states, "But when he had thought this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared
00:20:35.320 | to him in a dream, saying, 'Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your
00:20:40.320 | wife, for the child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.'"
00:20:49.360 | When what was conceived in her was from the Spirit, none of us would argue that at two
00:20:56.360 | to three weeks, Jesus was an actual person.
00:21:00.680 | None of us would argue that.
00:21:04.200 | The moment the conception happened, all of us would state that's when Christ was a person.
00:21:12.760 | Not when that conception had progressed along two to three weeks after.
00:21:20.760 | Doesn't Hebrews 2.17 state something similar?
00:21:24.240 | That He was made in every way like us?
00:21:29.360 | Hebrews 2.17, "Therefore, in all things, he had to be made like his brothers, so that
00:21:34.560 | he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make
00:21:40.120 | propitiation for the sins of the people."
00:21:43.720 | Much like Adam came into being right away and not over an extended period of time.
00:21:50.960 | My point is this, life begins at conception.
00:22:03.520 | So then if life begins at conception, how does this relate to the moral dilemma I faced
00:22:13.600 | while Diane was completely unconscious and helpless?
00:22:19.320 | Let's chop this up, hash this out, and state some truths because if all of this is true
00:22:26.960 | then there is a huge elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.
00:22:32.580 | Let me start off by saying that I do not believe I committed murder.
00:22:39.600 | That might come off as self-serving to some.
00:22:43.800 | It might sound as if I'm vacating deserved judgment on myself.
00:22:49.940 | You might find this hard to believe but if I did rationally and intelligibly think I
00:22:55.000 | committed murder, I would state so.
00:22:59.600 | One of the many reasons I'm not calling it murder is because it takes away from the actual
00:23:06.560 | real murder that is committed.
00:23:10.400 | The other reason is, suffice it to say, there was no malice in my very real and tangible
00:23:18.680 | consent that was given to proceed with the operation that would save Diane.
00:23:27.040 | And so if we're going to come to a conclusion, we need to agree on a working definition of
00:23:32.360 | murder or at the very least agree on whether or not malice is a required element of murder.
00:23:40.000 | Matthew 5 21-22 states, "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'You shall not murder.'
00:23:47.200 | And whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.
00:23:50.520 | But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the
00:23:54.240 | court.
00:23:55.240 | And whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be answerable to the supreme court.
00:24:00.480 | And whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell."
00:24:06.320 | So we know murder is intentional taking of human life as opposed to the accidental taking
00:24:11.380 | of it, which is why there were different prescriptions in the law depending upon the intent.
00:24:17.400 | Intentional or accidental?
00:24:18.660 | You see that in Numbers 35 16-31.
00:24:23.200 | So we see malice, we see an intentional taking of life based on Numbers 35 16-31.
00:24:31.920 | Moreover, Genesis 9-6 states, "Whoever sheds human blood, by man his blood shall be shed,
00:24:41.240 | for in the image of God he made mankind."
00:24:44.360 | Compare this to Deuteronomy 19 4-5, "Now this is the case of the one who commits manslaughter,
00:24:52.200 | who may flee there and live.
00:24:54.640 | When he kills his friend unintentionally, not hating him previously, as when a person
00:25:00.080 | goes into the forest with his friend to cut wood, and his hand swings the axe to cut down
00:25:04.720 | the tree, and the iron head slips off the handle and strikes his friend so that he dies,
00:25:10.240 | he may flee to one of these cities and live."
00:25:14.600 | God gives different prescriptions if one kills intentionally versus accidentally, and this
00:25:22.060 | is woven in with the presence or lack thereof of malice.
00:25:32.600 | First John 3-15 echoes that same sentiment in Matthew 5 21-22.
00:25:39.440 | First John 3-15 states, "Everyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you
00:25:45.960 | know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him."
00:25:52.120 | In both of these passages we see that murder begins with malice.
00:25:58.840 | And that is why Jesus stated, "You have already broken the commandment not to murder if you
00:26:03.400 | have malice in your heart."
00:26:10.720 | Reminds you a little bit of Cain and Abel, doesn't it?
00:26:16.040 | Genesis 4 4-8, "Abel on his part also brought an offering from the firstborn of his flock
00:26:23.040 | and from their fat portions.
00:26:25.320 | And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard.
00:26:30.840 | So Cain became very angry, and his face was gloomy.
00:26:35.760 | The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry, and why is your face gloomy?
00:26:39.720 | If you do well, will your face not be cheerful?
00:26:43.480 | If you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must
00:26:51.040 | master it.'
00:26:53.120 | Cain talked to his brother Abel, and it happened that when they were in the field, Cain rose
00:26:59.040 | up against his brother Abel and killed him."
00:27:04.400 | That's Genesis 4 4-8.
00:27:08.080 | From an objective angle, there was no way the surgery wasn't going to proceed with or
00:27:13.160 | without my consent, and for good reason.
00:27:16.700 | My unborn child was going to perish whether or not there was any intervention or attempted
00:27:25.000 | intervention.
00:27:27.520 | Based on contemporary medical science, he was on his deathbed.
00:27:33.440 | However, and this is a big, big however, let's not speak untruths, falsehoods, even in the
00:27:48.520 | most difficult of situations.
00:27:53.240 | I absolutely consented and gave my hearty approval for the surgery to proceed.
00:28:02.880 | The surgery that would constitute an intentional taking of a human life, even if it is by way
00:28:13.080 | of implication.
00:28:15.720 | And if you were to put me back in that situation, 1,000 times out of 1,000, I would make the
00:28:21.760 | exact same decision.
00:28:23.360 | It's really a no-brainer for me.
00:28:27.720 | It doesn't mean my decision didn't carry any weight.
00:28:38.160 | It doesn't mean that there isn't remorse.
00:28:43.280 | It doesn't mean a life isn't lost.
00:28:49.400 | It doesn't mean it was easy.
00:28:57.720 | And so this is how I've chosen to remember it, understanding that my knowledge of this
00:29:04.120 | portion is incomplete and faulty.
00:29:08.680 | And you'll see how it's all connected.
00:29:13.040 | I give my wholehearted approval for the surgery.
00:29:18.840 | My son is in 100% complete agreement, understanding his fate is sealed and mom needs to be saved.
00:29:31.440 | Without even the slightest hint of resentfulness on my son's part, in fact, with a total embrace
00:29:40.320 | of complete unanimity, my son sacrifices his own life gladly and willingly for the joy
00:29:49.120 | of knowing that his mom, who is my wife, will be saved.
00:29:57.480 | You know, I have always admired Uriah of the Old Testament.
00:30:05.040 | So much so that if I had a son, I would want to name him Uriah, Uriah, the gentile convert
00:30:14.920 | to Judaism, who refused comfort while his fellow soldiers were at war, even when offered
00:30:20.920 | by a king, not just any king, but the king through whom the Messiah would come, the Messiah,
00:30:27.120 | the king of all kings, refusing to sleep in the comfort of his own home, but rather choosing
00:30:33.560 | the dust of the ground, murdered because of his selflessness and nobility, murdered because
00:30:42.240 | his virtue was too much for adulterous and what would soon be bloodstained David.
00:30:54.840 | You better believe I will always choose to remember my first son, Uriah.
00:31:06.520 | It is extremely hard to explain, but I want to clearly articulate the following.
00:31:16.960 | Uriah, my first son, never even made it out of the womb, but I have to tell you, I am
00:31:29.920 | so incredibly proud of him and so incredibly proud to call him my son.
00:31:48.280 | He didn't do anything, he didn't do anything, but I'm so proud of him.
00:31:59.920 | Why am I sharing this with you?
00:32:04.160 | As Christ was going to the cross and as he was praying to the Father that the cup be
00:32:13.520 | taken from him, as Jesus was being scourged so much so that flesh was being ripped closer
00:32:21.800 | and closer to his bones, as he agonizingly carried that cross until he just couldn't
00:32:28.880 | do it anymore and needed to be helped by Simon from Cyrene, as he went through excruciating
00:32:35.760 | torture in the throes of his final breath and finally cried out to the Father, as Jesus
00:32:42.440 | did all of that completely willingly in obedience to the Father.
00:32:49.440 | Have you ever considered how the Father felt as he was watching all of this?
00:32:56.360 | Do you really think the Father felt nothing?
00:33:02.040 | Not only did the Father not feel nothing, the Father felt every bit of it in a way we
00:33:10.600 | could never even come close to realizing, imagining, or even conceptualizing.
00:33:20.040 | All the while we confess the perfect, infinite, immutable, and impassable God.
00:33:31.680 | Isaiah 53, 7-12 states, "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth,
00:33:41.800 | like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
00:33:47.320 | so he did not open his mouth.
00:33:49.340 | By oppression and judgment he was taken away, and as for his generation, who considered
00:33:54.360 | that he was cut off from the land of the living, for the wrongdoing of my people to whom the
00:33:59.680 | blow was due?
00:34:01.800 | And his grave was assigned with wicked men, yet he was a rich man in his death, because
00:34:06.760 | he had done no violence, nor was there any deceit in his mouth.
00:34:11.080 | But the Lord desired to crush him, causing him grief.
00:34:16.200 | If he renders himself as a guilt-offering, he will see his offspring, he will prolong
00:34:21.000 | his days, and the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
00:34:26.280 | As a result of the anguish of his soul, he will see it and be satisfied.
00:34:30.960 | By his knowledge, the righteous one, my servant, will justify the many, for he will bear their
00:34:37.200 | wrongdoings.
00:34:38.360 | Therefore, I will allot him a portion with the great, and he will divide the plunder
00:34:43.840 | with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and he was counted with wrongdoers.
00:34:49.800 | Yet he himself bore the sin of many, and interceded for the wrongdoers.
00:34:59.800 | Thanks for making it to the end.
00:35:05.360 | I'll continue to try to make the journey worth it.
00:35:09.520 | To him be honor, glory, and eternal dominion, James Honda.
00:35:26.320 | Amen.
00:35:44.520 | (upbeat music)
00:35:47.100 | you