(soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) - Good morning, everybody. Just like in previous sessions, if you guys would at this time, make your way forward, try to fill in the seats as best as possible. If you can hear me out into the entryway, please make sure you're making your way in.

We just have one minute until the start of service. Thank you, everybody. (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) (soft music) - Good morning, church family.

Happy Lord's Day. I hope all of you have been enjoying the retreat as much as I have. It truly is a blessing as we have our Sunday worship here up at the retreat. We're gonna come before our God singing this first song, There is a Fountain. So please sing with us and really reflect on what we have in Christ that he spilled his blood on our behalf.

(soft music) ♪ There is a fountain filled with blood ♪ ♪ Drawn from Emmanuel's feet ♪ ♪ And sinners plunged beneath that flood ♪ ♪ Lose all their guilty stains ♪ ♪ Lose all their guilty stains ♪ ♪ Lose all their guilty stains ♪ ♪ And sinners plunged beneath that flood ♪ ♪ Lose all their guilty stains ♪ The dying thief.

♪ The dying thief rejoiced to see ♪ ♪ That fountain in his day ♪ ♪ And there have I no vial as he ♪ ♪ Wash all my sins away ♪ Yes, the wash. ♪ Wash all my sins away ♪ ♪ Wash all my sins away ♪ ♪ And there have I no vial as he ♪ ♪ Wash all my sins away ♪ ♪ A dear dying lamb thy precious blood ♪ ♪ Shall never lose its power ♪ ♪ Till all the ransomed church of God ♪ ♪ Be safe to sin no more ♪ ♪ Be safe to sin no more ♪ ♪ Be safe to sin no more ♪ ♪ Till all the ransomed church of God ♪ ♪ Be safe to sin no more ♪ ♪ When this poor listening, stammering tongue ♪ ♪ Lies silent in the grave ♪ ♪ And in a nobler, sweeter song ♪ ♪ I'll sing thy power to save ♪ ♪ I'll sing thy power to save ♪ ♪ I'll sing thy power to save ♪ ♪ And in a nobler, sweeter song ♪ ♪ I'll sing thy power to save ♪ - Good morning, everybody.

All right. Thank you, all two of you. Good morning, everyone. Now, I would like to take a moment to cover a few announcements for us. One of the first announcements is just pertaining to our schedule. If you noticed that we're gonna be trying to take a large group photo with everybody, and that's taking place at 12 sharp.

So please make sure that you do go and pick up your children for that photo. Don't forget about them as you go over to the photo. And what we're gonna be doing is heading out. There's a main fountain right at the center, and there's a large lawn there. So we'll be headed out.

Once the small groups are over, we're gonna be just directing you. So please make sure you pay attention to that. But again, 12 sharp, we'll be headed out there. Some announcements for us are pertaining to some of the things happening at church. As a reminder, please sign up for the Intentional Wives Fellowship that's going to be taking place.

They'll be reading through the book, "This Momentary Marriage," and meeting up in different times that'll be set, and then having fellowship over discussions. So please make sure, if you'd like to participate in that, to sign up. Also, as you guys know, soon on August 21st, we're gonna be having our church-wide cleaning and maintenance day.

So if you'd like to lend a hand, please make sure you sign up on, the link is there on the Facebook or the app. So sign up for that. Again, it's happening Saturday, August 21st, starting from 8.30 a.m. The next announcement I have for you is the FAM 245.

There's going to be a workshop that's taking place on Saturday, August 28th, at 10.30 a.m. And this is specifically for young families who have been married recently, starting from 2018. So if you're in that category, and Ivat has gone out, please make sure you reply to that. It's a workshop talking about how to think about our wealth, our stewardship, and the dangers of materialism.

So please make sure you sign up for that to participate. And the last announcement that I have is for the entire education department. All the parents with children in our SOE education department, there's going to be a PTA meeting that's going to be taking place on Sunday, August 29th, at 2 p.m.

So this is a meeting that'll cover important projections for the next year, various changes of new teachers, and class divisions, et cetera, will be discussed, and you'll have an opportunity to come and meet the teachers that are going to be guiding those classes. So please make sure you put that on your calendar.

It's a mandatory meeting for all the parents. And if you have questions or cannot make it, please be sure to message Pastor Peter Chang. Okay, at this time, I'll lead us in a word of prayer, and we'll have an opportunity in a moment to submit our offering via the electronic format.

Let's take a moment to pray. Heavenly Father, we are truly grateful to you. God, as we continue just to think about your mercies over us, and even this entire topic of reconciliation, we know, God, that this is not a concept that we derived as something that would be nice for us.

God, you initiated all things towards us. So we're so grateful that you're teaching us, and God, you have blessed us in such a way. Lord, we're thankful that we're able to come to you in worship, and we pray that you would bless this time. Father, bless the time of hearing your word, cause our minds to be just rejuvenated, the thoughts and intention of our hearts to truly be sanctified.

And Lord, as we even think about giving our offering, we give with thankfulness in our heart, knowing, Lord, every single thing we have, we've received from your gracious hand. And we pray, Father, God, that what we give would be just an expression of our gratitude, and what's more, we do pray that the offering would be used for your purposes, God, that it would be used for your ministry and your gospel.

Lord, we thank you for this time. It's in Christ's name we pray, amen. (soft piano music) (soft piano music) (soft piano music) (soft piano music) (soft piano music) (soft piano music) - Church family, let's all stand together as we sing these songs. (soft rock music) Sing it, String will rise.

♪ String will rise as we wait upon the moon ♪ ♪ Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord ♪ ♪ String will rise as we wait upon the moon ♪ ♪ Wait upon the Lord, we will wait ♪ ♪ Our God, our God ♪ ♪ You reign forever ♪ ♪ Our hope, our strong deliverer ♪ ♪ You are the everlasting God ♪ ♪ The everlasting God ♪ ♪ You do not faint, you won't grow weary ♪ One more time, String will rise.

♪ String will rise as we wait upon the moon ♪ ♪ Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord ♪ ♪ String will rise as we wait upon the moon ♪ ♪ Wait upon the Lord, we will wait ♪ ♪ Our God, you reign forever ♪ ♪ Our hope, our strong deliverer ♪ ♪ You are the everlasting God ♪ ♪ The everlasting God ♪ ♪ You do not faint, you won't grow weary ♪ ♪ You're the defender of the weak ♪ ♪ You comfort those in need ♪ ♪ You lift us up on wings like eagles ♪ Back to our God, you reign.

♪ Our God, you reign forever ♪ ♪ Our God, you reign forever ♪ ♪ Our hope, our strong deliverer ♪ ♪ You are the everlasting God ♪ ♪ The everlasting God ♪ ♪ You do not faint, you won't grow weary ♪ You're the defender of the weak. ♪ You're the defender of the weak ♪ ♪ You comfort those in need ♪ ♪ You lift us up on wings like eagles ♪ ♪ Like eagles ♪ Amen.

(upbeat music) ♪ I once was lost ♪ ♪ I once was lost ♪ ♪ I once was lost in darkest night ♪ ♪ It thought I knew the way ♪ ♪ But sin that promised joy ♪ ♪ Led me to the grave ♪ ♪ I had no hope that you would own ♪ ♪ A rebel to your will ♪ ♪ And if you had not loved me first ♪ ♪ I would refuse to stay ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ But as I ran my hell bound race ♪ ♪ Indifferent to the cost ♪ ♪ You looked upon my helpless state ♪ ♪ And led me to the cross ♪ ♪ In thy beheld, God's blood displayed ♪ ♪ You suffered in my place ♪ ♪ You bore the wrath reserved for me ♪ ♪ Now all I know is grace ♪ Hallelujah.

♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ All I have is Christ ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Jesus is my life ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Jesus is my life ♪ ♪ And now Lord I would be yours alone ♪ ♪ And live so all might see ♪ ♪ The strength to follow your commands ♪ ♪ Could never come from me ♪ ♪ Oh Father use my ransom life ♪ ♪ In any way you choose ♪ ♪ And let my song forever be ♪ ♪ My only boasting is you yesterday ♪ ♪ Alleluia ♪ ♪ All I have is Christ ♪ ♪ Alleluia ♪ ♪ Jesus is my life ♪ ♪ Alleluia ♪ ♪ All I have is Christ ♪ ♪ Alleluia ♪ ♪ Jesus is my life ♪ - Amen, you may be seated.

(bell tolling) Well, good morning on this Sunday morning. It's a pleasure to see you here today to be able to worship the Lord, not only in song, but also by going to his word. And I wanna say from the depth of my heart as well as that of my wife's, how wonderful and kind and hospitable Brean has been to the two of us.

I told your pastor last night, if you find us dead in our motel room, it's because you killed us with kindness. All right? All right, that's the reason why. So you guys are the fault of it. So you've been wonderfully hospitable and everyone I've met has been incredibly friendly.

I am so excited to be able to get to know you as a church, to get to know your pastoral staff, and I think some of the best days of Brean are yet ahead. So I think that's really wonderful. So welcome this morning. We've been talking about biblical reconciliation and at the beginning of our conference, we said this is radically different than what is commonly referred to as conflict resolution because our goal is much more comprehensive than just merely resolving specific conflicts.

Our goal is oriented towards bringing about relationships that are better than before conflicts occur. All right? And full and complete reconciliation so that there is a very tight unity within the body of Christ. That doesn't mean that everybody in the body of Christ is gonna be your best friend.

It doesn't mean that. What it does mean is that you treat everybody in the body of Christ as your best friend. That's different, all right? And that's radically different because they are the same people that the Lord Jesus Christ died for and shed his blood for and that's the family that you're a part of forever.

You know, this earthly family, earthly families are only temporary. We're supposed to love our wives, love our husbands, love our children, all that is good and we understand but it's a very temporary family. You're sitting among people that are a part of forever family. That transcends the earthly family.

Hence, Jesus talks about whoever leaves father, mother, wife, husband, children and follows me. That means that the spiritual family trumps the earthly family. Every time, the spiritual family always trumps the earthly family. And that's our devotion to Christ. That's who we will be with for all eternity. We got a little teeny taste of worshiping the Lord in heaven this morning as we were singing.

Man, just to listen to you all sing, I can get excited, I could just do this all day long. All right, and not stop. So this is part of that little down payment of what it's going to be like in heaven with forever family. The people that you're sitting among are the type of people that are going to be your family forever.

Forever. That's really important. So as we begin this last section, the first session we dealt with the issue of the heart. We have to understand the heart. The heart has to change before there's any kind of relationship change. We talked about that. We move to repentance. Repentance is that agent that God has designed to bring about a fundamental change in our nature whereby we are different than before.

So when I see that I've done wrong, when I've seen that I have hurt or caused a conflict with someone else and I realize that it is a sin, that I have to repent of that particular sin, and we said that repentance is a change of mind that is so complete that it leads to a change of life.

That's repentance. It's not just merely a change of mind, but it's a change of mind that is so complete that it leads to a change of life. It leads to a fundamental nature change in you. We're no longer dogs, as we talked about. We're no longer pigs. Now the last thing that we need to deal with is the issue of forgiveness.

Remember how I said you need to bring to your session your safety belts, your crash helmets, and you need to add a flak vest for this session. So hang on, we're gonna get into what does the Bible really say about forgiveness? What does the Bible say about it? All right?

So let's begin with prayer. Gracious Lord, we need teachable hearts. We need to be disciples. Disciples are learners. And I pray that through the work of the Spirit of God in our hearts this morning, you will help us to be learners, especially when it comes to the topic of forgiveness.

So we commit our time to you in Christ's name, amen. What is forgiveness? That's a real critical question, right? What is it indeed? So as we deal with this third area, we need to understand it. What is forgiveness? And you're gonna find out if you are able to examine this more fully, a full biblical theology of forgiveness, that forgiving people are always and first and foremost humble people.

If there is pride in your life, you're gonna have a difficulty practicing biblical forgiveness, if there's pride in your life. But if you are genuinely humbled as a result of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, in other words, he has humbled your heart, that as you come and bring your life to the shadow, to the base of the cross, there is no place for pride there.

There is no place for arrogance there. There's only a place for humility because we are entirely undeserving of what Christ did on the cross with his atoning sacrifice for our sins for all time. No one deserves it. No one even comes close to deserving such a thing. And that alone, when you sit at the foot of the cross and you look up and see that Jesus Christ died for you, should be humbling from the very beginning.

So what is forgiveness from a biblical standpoint? The primary Greek term that's translated forgive is the word ephiemi, ephiemi. It means to send away or to release. So in reference to sin, it actually means to pardon. That's what it means, to pardon. But forgiveness has also rightly been described as a promise, why?

Because when God forgives, he promises that he will never hold our sins against us. When God forgives, he promises he will never hold our sins against us. Now as we practice forgiveness, I want you to take your Bible just for a moment and let's go over to Ephesians chapter four in verse 32.

I want you to see this in Ephesians chapter four, verse 32, that all of our forgiveness of one another is predicated upon the way in which God has forgiven us. Now did you hear me on that? All of our forgiveness of one another is predicated upon the way in which God has forgiven us.

Ephesians chapter four, verse 32, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Now you see that word tenderhearted? Literally, remember we talked about this before when we talked about the heart. That really is in the Greek language tender bowed.

All right? It's tender bowed, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you. So we're supposed to forgive one another as we have been forgiven. Go over two books to Colossians chapter three in verse 13. He comes back to this again. Bearing with one another, he says, forgiving each other.

Whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Again, our forgiveness of one another, get this in your thinking, our forgiveness of one another is predicated on the fact that we have been forgiven an entire lifetime of sin. Okay? That's predicated upon that.

If you don't understand that, then you don't understand biblical forgiveness. We're supposed to forgive the way that God has forgiven us. He has forgiven us. Well, let's take a look at this just for an example. What has God done in his forgiveness with us? Let's go back to the Old Testament to understand this.

Let's go back to Jeremiah chapter 31. For a moment, Jeremiah chapter 31, and here we are interested in verse 34. Now look at this carefully. And by the way, the immediate context of this particular verse has to do with the coming new covenant, which is speaking of the covenant that the Lord Jesus Christ brought.

So that's the context here of this verse. And it says in the coming new covenant, it says in verse 34, they will not teach again, each man his neighbor, and each man his brother, saying, know the Lord, for they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, declares the Lord, for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.

Now listen to that. Now in order to understand this, you've got to understand something about the idea of passive and active forgetting. All right? Because God says their sin I will remember no more. Within the context of the new covenant, this coming new covenant, this was not something that was a part of the Abrahamic covenant directly.

That was not spoken of there. It wasn't spoken of in the Mosaic covenant, but it is talked about in relationship to the new covenant. It is talked about there, where God says, I will remember their sins no more. Now, that's very important. There's a difference between active and passive forgetting.

I have forgotten a lot of stuff in the past. It's really bad, gentlemen, when you forget your anniversary, because you just don't use that information all the time. When you don't use information, you forget it, right? If you were to ask me several years ago where I lived and what my phone number was back 35, 40 years ago, it would be really hard for me to recall my phone number and exactly what my address was, but when I lived in specific locations back in the Midwest, it would be very, very difficult for me to remember that.

I'd probably need a little bit of prompting, and once I got a little prompting, then I, oh, yeah, yeah, then I recall that unused information. Now, why have I forgotten all that? Because I don't use it anymore, right? I don't use that information anymore, so I have passively forgotten that information.

Now, listen, God does not forget anything. He doesn't forget anything. God has not forgotten your sins. If God forgets his people's sins, then he's forgotten most of his Bible because most of his Bible is about his people's sins. God does not passively forget our sins. He doesn't do that.

What does he do? He actively, there's a difference here, and this is active Hebrew voice, he actively does not remember our sins against us any longer. That is a promise. Are you following me? He actively does not remember our sins against us any longer. He doesn't passively forget them.

He doesn't forget anything. God is omniscient. He remembers everything. But he actively does not remember, in this sense, our sins against us any longer. Corrie ten Boom used to say, "God takes our sins, "plants them in the deepest part of the sea, "and puts up a no fishing sign." He actively does not remember our sins against us any longer.

Go over to Isaiah chapter 43. Isaiah chapter 43 and verse 25. Now, notice what God says here. Isaiah 43, 25, "I, even I, am the one "who wipes out your transgressions for my own sake, "and I will not remember your sins." Now, here's a different prophet. This is the prophet Isaiah.

The context, however, is the same as that of Jeremiah 31, and that is he's talking about the new covenant. Understands that we have sins, but when we are forgiven under the new covenant, they are not held to our account any longer. This is a promise that God makes. He goes on record saying, "I will not hold your sins against you." Now, if God held even one sin against you, you have no hope of heaven.

If he held even one sin against you, there would be no hope whatsoever, because God is absolutely holy. He's absolutely pure in everything that he does, but he does not hold any of our sins against us. If you have repented of your sins, you have bowed your knee to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Your sins are no longer held according to your account. Man, we all at that particular point ought to be charismatics. All of our sins are taken care of for all eternity. He doesn't hold any of them against us. He goes on public record saying, "I will not remember their sins any longer." Now, if we're gonna forgive one another, and Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13 says we have to do this the way in which we have been forgiven, then now it's important for us to do the same thing.

We now go on public record saying to whoever has offended us and sought our forgiveness, "I will not remember that sin against you any longer. "I'll not do that." This is what God has done for us in salvation. Man needs forgiveness from God both before we're saved and after we're saved.

The forgiveness needed before salvation is what theologians call judicial forgiveness because prior to being saved, God is our judge. And our primary relationship to him is that of judgment. And he stands in judgment. The vast majority of people on the planet, God will be their judge. Before they become a believer, God will be because he is an absolute, holy, just, and absolutely purely righteous God.

He will be their judge. So what we need prior to salvation is judicial forgiveness. Theologians talk about this, judicial forgiveness. But the forgiveness needed after we become a believer changes because God is no longer our judge. God is our father. So that's what theologians now call parental forgiveness. Parental forgiveness.

Because God is now our loving, heavenly father who wants to free us from the temporal discomfort of his chastening. And that's what he does. So prior to salvation, we need judicial forgiveness. After salvation, we need parental forgiveness. After we're saved and we sin against God, he doesn't kick us out of his family, but he will bring chastisement.

He will bring discomfort, difficulty, hardship, and trials, not to cause us to pay for sins because our sins have already been paid for, past, present, and future. Hebrews chapter 12, verses seven through 11 makes it very clear he does this for the purpose of perfecting holiness in our lives.

That's why he brings the discomfort. So we need, after salvation, we don't suffer as Christians to pay for our sins. I mean, I cannot tell you how many times I've had Christians say that to me in counseling. You know, they explain all the difficulties and all the hardship that's going on in their life and all the losses that have occurred and the trials and the setbacks, and they describe all this, and then they'll look at me sometimes with tears running down their face, and they'll say to me, you know, is God punishing me?

No, you know why? Because he poured out all of his punishment on the Lord Jesus Christ. That's your savior. He's not punishing you, then what is he doing? God's discipline in your life after you become a Christian is not punitive, it's corrective. There's a huge difference between those two.

You don't pay for any sins, 'cause Christ paid for it all. We're not Roman Catholics. Roman Catholics believe, oh yeah, Jesus paid for some of our sins, but I have to add my sufferings to Jesus' sufferings. I have to pray the rosary, I have to continue to go to mass on a repeated basis, I have to go to the confessional on a regular basis.

I have to pay so many indulgences so long in order for me to add my sufferings to Christ's sufferings to have all of my sins covered. We're not Roman Catholics. We don't add anything to what Jesus Christ did. Christ paid for it all. How about that, huh? What news could be better than all of your sins fully and completely paid for at the cross of Jesus Christ?

So we don't pay for anything. 'Cause Christ paid for it all. Then why do we go through difficulty? To make us more like his son. To perfect us in holiness. That's why we go through the difficulties. That's why we go through hardship. That's why we do that. But God still forgives us.

He still forgives us. So if our forgiveness of one another is predicated upon what God has done for us, then we need to be ready to do the same thing. What does that really mean when it comes to our forgiveness? Let me highlight three key things that that means.

When it comes to actively not remembering another person's sin against them, like God has done for us, then we need to do that for other people. That means at least three things. Number one, it means this. I will not remind you of this sin in the future unless it would be absolutely necessary for your good.

I'm not gonna throw this up in your face in the future and somehow hold that against you. When I promise to forgive you, it's settled. It's settled. I'm not gonna throw this up in your face when I get upset with you again. We're putting this behind us. I'm not gonna go on some kind of archeological dig and bring up your past faults.

We are to forgive one another just as God has forgiven us. So when we grant forgiveness to someone, we're promising that we will not remember their sins against them, much the same way that God has done in Jeremiah 31, 34 and Isaiah 43, 25. That means that we will never use their sin against them.

So practically, we're saying, I will not remind you of this sin unless it would be absolutely necessary for your good. Forgiven sin is only brought up to help, never to hurt. Basically, I'm not gonna bring it up. I'm not gonna be historical. I'm not going to keep records. When I promise to forgive someone, that's a settled issue.

The second thing that means is this, that I will not mention it to anyone else unless it would be absolutely necessary. That is for your good. I will not mention it. I'm not gonna roll around and talk about it behind your back. I'm not gonna dwell on it and become a type of person who will gossip about your particular sin to my friends or family members or other people who are in the church.

I'm not gonna talk about your sin. This is a settled issue. When I forgive someone, I'm going on public record the way that God has, saying, I'm not gonna bring this up to you. I'm not gonna bring this up to other people. And the exceptions to this would be when maybe there's a life or death situation or a wanted criminal is involved or when a pedophile wants to work in the church nursery.

This becomes an issue. But again, it's for the broader welfare of the body of Christ. But the idea is, number one, I'm not gonna bring this up to you. I'm not gonna bring it up to other people. And the third one, and probably the most difficult one of all of this, is that to forgive someone means to promise that you're not gonna allow your mind to dwell on it.

You're not gonna allow your mind to dwell on it. Now, this is gonna be the hard one because we wanna do that. When somebody is sent against us, we wanna oftentimes in self-pity and out of personal hurt and difficulty and hardship, we wanna be able to think about it and say, look at what they've done to me.

Look how they have hurt me. And then I become bitter and I become resentful and I become angry on the inside. No, no, no, I promise I'm not gonna dwell on that sin in my own heart and mind. When I forgive you, I'm making that promise. So basically, going on record, the way that God is going on record in terms of forgiving us, when we go on record with someone else, it means three things.

I'm not gonna bring it up to you, I'm not gonna bring it up to others, and I'm not gonna bring it up to myself. That's what it means. I'm not gonna bring it up to you, I'm not gonna bring it up to other people, and I'm not gonna bring it up to myself.

When I forgive you, I'm making that particular promise. Now, this is really important to understand because these three things are critical. We said that forgiveness means to send away, to release, it means to pardon in this case. And so the best definition of interpersonal forgiveness in conflict reconciliation is this.

It is a promise of a pardon. It is a promise of a pardon. That means these three things. I'm not gonna bring it up to you, I'm not gonna bring it up to others, and I'm not gonna bring it up to myself. I am promising to pardon you. I am going to forgive you.

Why? Because I have been forgiven an entire lifetime of sin. I have been forgiven an entire lifetime of sin. Now, the real critical question, and this is where it starts to get a little bit harder, is the question, whom should we forgive? That's a really big question. Very simple to state, very hard to answer.

Whom should we forgive? Wow. Some passages in Scripture clearly imply that we can only forgive those who ask for forgiveness and repent. Luke 17, verses three and four. We're gonna go there a little bit later. While others seem to imply that we should forgive everyone who sins against us, whether they ask for it or not.

Mark chapter 11 and verse 25. So how do we understand this apparent discrepancy in Scripture? How do we clarify, on the one hand, we're only supposed to forgive those who ask for it, Luke 17, but on the other hand, we're supposed to forgive anyone of anything, Mark 11, 25.

It seems like Scripture is teaching us two different things, and they seem to be contrary. Perhaps the best way to make a distinction is from a theological standpoint between what is referred to as transactional forgiveness and attitudinal forgiveness. And let me explain the theology behind this. Transactional forgiveness and attitudinal forgiveness.

Or you could say reconciliation versus release. Reconciliation versus release. So let me look at those two things in Scripture to help you to understand them. The first one has to do with the attitude of forgiveness. The attitude of forgiveness. Even though you may not be able to fully reconcile with everyone who sins against you, your attitude towards them should never be one of anger, bitterness, resentment, or ill will of any kind.

No malice. You should treat them very kindly and graciously. We talk about that in Romans chapter 12, verses 17 through 21. You're commanded to love everyone. Luke 6, 27 through 35. So you've got to desire their best, which means that you're going to do everything that you can to bring them to repentance, and you'll always be ready to reconcile.

Why? Because that's the way God is with us. Now take your Bible again. Let's go over to Psalm 86 in verse five. Psalm 86 in verse five. And some translations, I don't know what translation you're using, so let me read from the New American Standard version, Psalm 86 in verse five, which talks about the fact that for you, Lord, are good and ready to forgive.

You see that? You're ready to forgive. God stands ready to forgive anyone of any sin. And it goes on and says, "An abundant and loving kindness to all who call upon you." And in fact, you take a look at the Hebrew phraseology of this, to all who call upon you, that's a synonymous phrase to repentance.

Every time you see that in the Old Testament, it means to call upon the Lord means to repent. To call upon the Lord means to repent. So God is ready to forgive all those who repent, who call upon him. He's always ready to do that. It's one of the best ways you can translate that verse.

That's really key. Let me read it again in verse five. For you, Lord, are good and ready to forgive an abundant and loving kindness to all who call upon you. In other words, to all who repent, our God is ready to do this. So in a similar way, if God is ready to do this all the time, we need to be like him, ready to forgive anyone of anything.

Wow. And that loving attitude has sometimes been called by theologians forgiveness of the heart. Forgiveness of the heart. It's also been called vertical forgiveness because this type of forgiveness is always mentioned in scripture only within the context, listen to this, of prayer. It's always listed in the context of prayer.

Vertical forgiveness, attitude of forgiveness is always within the context of prayer. It is something that you do before God that enables you to have a right attitude towards that individual. Let me give you a few illustrations of this. For example, in Mark chapter 11, verse 25, and whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone.

Now, when you take a look at that, Jesus is using this as an illustration of a man going to the temple to pray. If you have anything against anyone, Jesus says you need to forgive him. Whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone so that your father also who is in heaven will also forgive you and your transgressions.

So who's present? Here's a man who's gone to the temple to pray. Well, it's only God is present and the man is present, but the offending party's not there. So it's only you and God. So it's only a vertical thing. In other words, in our heart, when he says you need to forgive if you have anything against anyone, this is the very thing that sets the conditions for all of forgiveness in our life.

Our heart should be ready to forgive anyone of anything the way that God is ready to forgive. In Psalm 86 in verse five. We can see this, another illustration of this is in Luke chapter 23 in verse 34. This is Jesus on the cross. And Jesus is saying, "Father, forgive them "for they do not know what they are doing." Now there are a lot of people who look at that particular verse and say, "Well, you see, Jesus is forgiving "those people that have crucified him on the cross.

"He's forgiving them in this prayer." No, he's not. Read it carefully, Jesus is not forgiving them. He's praying that they might be forgiven. That's what he's doing. He could have forgiven them. He could have hung on the cross and said, "I forgive you, and I forgive you, "and I forgive you, and I forgive you." But he doesn't do that.

He prays that they might be forgiven. Why? Because none of them have repented. Now are you ready for this? Fasten your seat belts and put your crash helmets on. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say or teach the concept, I hope you're following me here, nowhere in the Bible does it ever teach the concept of unconditional forgiveness.

Nowhere in the Bible. Doesn't teach that. Where's that come from? It comes from actually contemporary psychology because it's a therapeutic step. Where it's just supposed to unconditionally forgive people, whether they've repented of their sin or not. Jesus doesn't do that. There's not gonna be a sole individual in heaven who hasn't repented.

That's part of the condition. There's not gonna be anyone in heaven whose Christ's blood hasn't paid for their sin. That's part of the condition. No such thing as unconditional forgiveness. That's taught in contemporary psychology today as a means to help people feel better about themselves. When Stephen was being stoned, you remember that episode, he prays that the ones that are stoning him to death will be forgiven.

He doesn't forgive them. He could. And by the way, did you know that you and I here today are a direct answer to that prayer? Why? Because one of the men stoning him to death was a man by the name of Saul. Saul later on becomes Paul. Paul becomes the primary apostle to the Gentiles, and hence we're here.

Stephen's prayer as he's dying, we're a direct result of that. He prays that they might be forgiven. Jesus' prayer on the cross when he hung there. And by the way, his prayers were always answered because his prayers were always in complete alignment with what God wanted. Father, forgive them.

And by the way, God answers that prayer in Acts chapter two because there is massive repentance in the city of Jerusalem. Massive repentance in the city of Jerusalem. So Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they're doing. Or we go to Matthew chapter six. This is all attitudinal forgiveness here.

Or Luke chapter 11 in verse four, where it says, where Jesus teaches the disciples prayer, and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who's indebted to us. This is vertical forgiveness. This is attitudinal forgiveness. Help us set our hearts right so that we will be ready to forgive anyone who sins against us if they repent.

So if you conclude from those verses and others concerning the love and graciousness of the Lord, then any time someone wrongs you, you should pray to God in this way. Father, you know what has happened between me and so and so. Help me not to be angry or bitter at him or her, nor to seek revenge in any way.

Help me to love him or her and desire only their good. Please work in their heart and bring them to repentance so that we can have a reconciled relationship. That should be our prayer. For a believer that may involve a confrontation, according to Matthew 18, and for the unbeliever it would involve witnessing to him if possible.

As Ephesians 4:32 says, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God has forgiven you. Now, that's the thing that sets the stage for all of forgiveness. It's the very thing that conditions our heart and makes our heart ready to forgive anyone who sins against us, no matter what that sin may be.

Which now brings us to transactional forgiveness. Transactional forgiveness is this. Just as God does not make his promise of pardon to people unless they repent, Luke chapter three and verse three, as well as Acts 2, 38, you cannot actually say, I forgive you, to people unless they admit their sin and repent.

There can be no transaction. Therefore, the transaction of forgiveness is conditioned in that you can only be fully reconciled to those who repent. Those who refuse to repent of their sin are not forgiven by God, and of parental sins as mentioned earlier. And the consequence of a broken relationship with the offended person continues.

I want you to grab your Bible, and let's go over to Luke chapter 17. He's dealing with interpersonal relationships among believers in Luke 17, verse three, and he says, be on your guard, or be on alert, and by the way, any time you find Jesus saying that in the Bible, you better be on alert.

All right, he never uses those words carelessly. Be on your guard, in other words, this is gonna be hard. Luke 17, three. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. You see what the condition is? Brother's repentance, right? Now, when he says, if your brother sins, rebuke him, this is not a full indictment.

There's a different Greek word that could be used for a full indictment, of fully indicting somebody for what they've done, without even listening to their side of the story. It's not that word. This word is a tentative rebuke. Follow me? This word is a tentative rebuke. In other words, if your brother sins, you go to your brother, and it's a sin against you, or at least you perceive it to be a sin against you, you go to your brother, and you tentatively rebuke them.

In other words, you say something like this. I believe that you have sinned against me, but you know what? I'm willing to hear your side of the story. That's a tentative rebuke. I believe that you have sinned against me, but I'm willing to hear your side of the story.

That's what a tentative rebuke is. You're not going to your brother and fully indicting your brother. You're not going to him and saying, I believe you've done this, and this is a terrible thing that you've done against me, and you're just fully indicting that brother. No, no, no, you're not doing that.

This is a tentative rebuke. You're willing to hear their side of the story and listen to what they have to say. So if your brother sins, tentatively rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. Wow. So Luke chapter 17, verse three, says that your part of this responsibility to those who sin against you is to confront them tentatively.

Then if they recognize their wrong and repent of it, then you can be reconciled to them and say, I forgive you, which means I'm not going to bring it up to you. I'm not going to bring it up to others. I'm not going to dwell on it in my own heart and mind and become bitter and resentful against you.

I'm making this promise of a pardon towards you. Now, Matthew chapter 18, verses 15 through 17, there where it talks about church discipline makes it clear that you cannot be fully reconciled to those who have not repented, because if you could, then you could not continue the process of church discipline the way the Bible lays it out.

If you forgive everyone without confronting them, then there will be no more repentance. And if you forgive everyone without confronting them and they repenting, there would be no church discipline. And there would be no church restoration. There's the condition. If the Bible was teaching unconditional forgiveness, then the pastor would have to stand up in the pulpit and say, I know brother so and so is cheating on his wife, we all just need to forgive him.

He's not repenting at all. Really? We're just supposed to accept that, brother? That sounds loving from a worldly point of view, but it's not loving according to Christ's point of view, because Christ's love confronts and deals with sin graciously. Christ's love confronts and deals with sin graciously. That's the long-term welfare of that brother to confront that particular sin, to not allow that brother to continue in that particular sin unabated.

Hence, in church discipline, that brother is now put out of the church, treated like an unbeliever, until he repents. And by the way, that happens in 1 Corinthians, right? The brother who's sleeping with his stepmother. 1 Corinthians 5. The apostle Paul talks about the fact that you need to put him out of the church.

And when you get to 2 Corinthians 2, that brother repents and comes back. And Paul basically says, when you take a look at the Greek language there, he says, "Receive that brother back with rejoicing." In other words, throw a party for him. He's repented of his sin. The church needs to throw a party and welcome him back into the membership because he's repented.

None of that would happen with the concept of unconditional forgiveness. None of that would occur. So Matthew 18, verses 15 through 17, makes it very clear that we've got to be able to lovingly, graciously confront sin because that's what love does. When Christ loves us, he confronts our sin, right?

He does. When he loves us, he confronts our sin because that's what's best for our long-term welfare. Say, okay, I understand what you're saying, but I've got a lot of questions. Well, let me see if I can cover some of these questions. For example, there are other issues that are related to this that are very confusing.

One of those issues is the issue of confronting a sin versus covering a sin. Have you ever heard somebody say that? Well, you know what? I've just covered that in love. Now, what does that mean? When somebody says, "I've just covered that sin in love," that basically means that I've ignored it, I've act like it really didn't happen, I'm just kind of trying to practice love.

Remember how I said this is more like a worldly love than it is a godly love? I'm just covering that in love. That's 1 Peter 4:8. Go over to 1 Peter 4:8. Notice what Peter says here in 1 Peter 4:8. He says, "Above all, "keep fervent in your love for one another "because love covers a multitude of sin." You say, "There it is, there it is.

"Love covers a multitude of sin." Well, the question now comes is, what is the theological understanding of covering in the Bible? What is the theological understanding of covering in the Bible? Now, I said in our very first session we'd go back to this passage, so we're gonna go back there.

Let's go back to Psalm 32. Psalm 32. This is what we call Hebrew parallelism. And David is talking about his own sin. And look at verse one of Psalm 32 where David says, "How blessed is he "whose transgression is forgiven, "whose sin is covered." In Hebrew parallelism, forgiving is equated with covering.

Covering a sin doesn't mean you look the other way. Covering a sin does not mean you ignore it. Covering a sin means you practice biblical forgiveness. That's what God does. Excuse me. He covers all of our sins. He covers all of our sins. David even says that. What I uncover before God in verse five, God covers with forgiveness.

That's what he does. Go over to Psalm 85 in verse two. We're building a biblical theology of what does covering mean. 85 in verse two. It's one of the Psalms of Korah that says, "You forgave the iniquity of your people." And here in parallelism, "You covered all their sins." Covering is directly related to the practice of forgiveness.

Not ignoring it, not acting like it never happened. It means you're practicing biblical forgiveness. So to cover a sin in love doesn't mean you look the other direction. To cover a sin in love means that you practice biblical forgiveness. That's what it means. That's a false use of the covering principle.

What about this? What about apologizing versus asking for forgiveness? Several years ago when I was a pastor in Ohio, I did a whole series of sermons on forgiveness. I started off the series by saying, "I'm trying to teach my kids never to apologize." And I thought one of our elders was gonna fall out of his chair.

I did it on purpose. But it's really true because nowhere in the Bible does it ever say we're supposed to apologize to one another. In fact, the English word for apology comes from the Greek term apologia, which means to throw up a defense. Well, I know my fist struck you in the face, but I tripped over a rock, the sun was in my eyes, and I had a stomachache at that time.

That's the reason, no, no. I'm throwing up a defense for what I did against you. All right? I'm not really confessing a sin. No one, nowhere in the Bible does it ever say we're supposed to apologize to people. In fact, let's say for instance, I sinned against your pastor, Pastor Mark.

And I went to Pastor Mark and I said to him, "Pastor Mark, I sinned against you. "I apologize. "What would he say to me?" Eh, forget it. No problem. It really doesn't do anything for our relationship. Right? Doesn't do anything. But if I were to go to him and I were to say to him, "Pastor Mark, I've sinned.

"It's a sin against God, it's a sin against you. "I need to ask you to forgive me." Now, what have I done? I have thrown the ball into his court. He's got the ball now. He's gotta decide, all right, do I wanna forgive that scoundrel John Street? All right?

Do I wanna forgive him? Okay, I'm willing to forgive him. All right, John, I forgive you. So he throws the ball back. There's been an exchange. I admit my sin, I repent of my sin in front of him. He now forgives me, which means he's not gonna bring it up to me ever in the future, not gonna talk about to others.

He's not gonna dwell on it in his own heart and mind, become bitter and resentful towards me. That's what that means. That exchange and that promise heals and reconciles that relationship. Apologizing doesn't do that. Apologizing just backs the dump truck of feelings up and dumps your bad feelings on other people, but it doesn't heal any relationship.

It doesn't do that. Seeking forgiveness, repenting of sin heals relationships. I think one of the reasons why we apologize is to get around really having a relationship with that other person. It's one of the main reasons. I don't wanna have a relationship with them, so I'm just gonna apologize.

Try to end and put a salve of peace on that particular problem and try to move on with my life, but I'm gonna avoid that person as much as possible. When I see them at church, I'm not gonna talk to 'em. I'm like, "No, no, that's not reconciliation. "There was reconciliation." What about this?

You heard people, "What about forgiving God?" Wow! Forgiving God. I have a Christian psychologist. I've got a lot of books from Christian psychology in my library. One of those particular books, the psychologist tells a story about a woman who came to him and she was just really, really upset.

I mean, she was beside herself over the fact that she had married a guy who was sort of short in stature and all of her kids turned out being short in stature. Just bothered her to no end. She was just upset by this and just bothered her. So what's the Christian psychologist say?

Well, basically he says, "You're never going to be right "until you learn to forgive God." Really? It's our responsibility to forgive God as if somehow God has made this terrible mistake? God has not made a terrible mistake. He's never made a mistake at all in all of eternity and you are not His first mistake.

He doesn't make mistakes. Notice what Numbers chapter 23 and verse 19 says. Numbers 23 and verse 19, God is not a man that he should lie, nor the son of man that he should repent. Has he said and will he not do it? Or has he spoken and will he not make it good?

That's blasphemy to somehow suggest, well, why would a Christian who's a psychologist suggest that we need to forgive God? Because it has therapeutic value. It makes me feel justified in the position that I've taken. That's why I need to forgive God. Really, really? You got to go to the point of blasphemy just to make you feel better?

No, no, no, we don't blaspheme God. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say, "We need to forgive God." That's imported into Christianity from secular sources. And it's only done because it's supposed to make me feel good about myself. After all, that's the important thing, isn't it? If I feel good about myself, everything's gonna be great.

I know a lot of Christians that need to feel horrible about themselves. They need to feel horrible. That's where repentance comes from. It's where change and understanding God's forgiveness comes from. Whoa. What about forgiving God? Or what about this? What about forgiving unbelievers? Remember, an unbeliever is dead, disobedient, depraved, doomed.

You can't ultimately forgive an unbeliever because an unbeliever cannot repent. Can't do that. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have forgiveness in your heart. You need to be ready to forgive the way God is. So even though they're dead in their trespasses and sin, you can use this as an evangelistic opportunity to explain the forgiveness that comes through Jesus Christ.

Point out their sin and love so that the Lord can use it to convict their hearts in order to share biblical truth with them about their sin that they've committed against you. They may not be open, so your loving and patient endurance with them, however, can make a difference.

Let me share with you a quick story. Back while I was still pastoring in Ohio, there was a young couple that had just recently come to our church about a month before, and they were engaged to be married. And the woman, her parents started attending church along with her brother as well at that same time, and she came to me and she said, would you be willing to do premarital counseling with myself and a fiance?

And I said, absolutely, I'd love to do that. Premarital counseling is fun counseling. I mean, I have a blast doing it. All right, premarital counseling is just amazing. All right. (audience laughing) It's great. I'm not sure that counselees think that, but I think that. So I said, absolutely, I'll be willing to sit down with you.

And so we set up an appointment, first appointment. Since they were brand new to the church, I didn't know much about them, so standard operating procedure in first appointment was to go through the gospel very, very thoroughly, give them homework on the gospel, which we did, send them home with the homework.

Between that first appointment and the second appointment, a whole week goes by, and we were supposed to, we made an appointment on Monday, and then the next Monday, we were supposed to have our second appointment. On Sunday, I had just preached three times in our church services that Sunday, got home, and my wife and I put the kids in bed, and we just kind of crashed into our beds.

I was there about 10 minutes, and I got a phone call. And I pick up the phone, and it was this young woman's father. And he said to me, our daughter and future son-in-law was in a horrible car accident. Would you be willing to come to the emergency room and meet us there?

I said, absolutely. I jumped out of bed, threw on my clothes, called one of the elders of the church, and said, hey, listen, if you wanna join me, let's head over there. So he was willing to do that. We showed up at the emergency room, walked in the door of the emergency room.

A surgeon comes out from behind the drapes there. They're not supposed to do that, but he's covered in blood. He said, you must be the pastor. Well, on Sunday night, after a whole day, I don't feel like a pastor, but I must've looked like one. And he said, listen, I wanna tell you, I did everything I could to save her, but I could not save her.

Cracked open her chest. I massaged her heart physically. I could not keep her alive. I said, oh my. Said, will you tell the family? And I said, sure. I didn't know the family. I thought, I don't know what I'm getting myself into. So I walked into the waiting room, sat down, by that time, grandpa's and grandma's were there.

I said, God has chosen to take your daughter. At this particular time, there's a lot of tears that were shed. It was just incredible at that particular point. And we couldn't do anything else for her, so they had taken her fiance to another hospital, another emergency room, so we all packed up and went over to see her fiance.

His name was Rusty. And we just arrived there just in time to catch him. They were pushing him into surgery. What had happened was there was a guy who had been convicted, convicted, 10 times for drunk driving. That some judge had let him out. He ran a stop sign, go on 60 miles an hour, T-boned their car into a telephone pole.

And she was on the side of the car that was wrapped around the telephone pole. Her fiance was still alive, but the impact of that had ripped a microscopic hole in his aorta. So they had to go, he was bleeding to death from the inside. So I am running along the gurney as they're pushing him into surgery, talking with him about the Lord Jesus Christ.

And he prayed and asked Christ to save him. And I thought to myself, my goodness, probably the last time I'll ever see that man. He did survive. He got out of surgery, the surgery worked. Make a long story, I mean, the long story of that, later on he ended up moving to Texas, met a young woman whose, her fiance, had been killed by a drunk driver.

They got married. They're in a church down there. They've got five kids serving the Lord together. But I was left with a family. And for the next several months, I counseled mom and dad. Turned out that dad in the family was already a believer. Mom was not. Through that circumstance, mom came to Christ.

The brother was not a believer. He was going to a local secular university and was doing some really wicked things. He came to Christ too. And by the way, that young man, he's an older man now, is an elder in that church now. Got to lead him to Christ.

But the father was a big guy. He was a big guy. And he confessed to me in counseling that he had been planning to jump the sheriff in the court when he went to see this guy who's being prosecuted. And he'd probably be able to do it. Steal the gun, shoot the guy, kill him before they could stop him.

I said, "Don't do that. "Don't do this. "This is not gonna help things at all. "It's gonna bring more grief to your surviving son "as well as your wife." So he didn't do that. Fast forward 10 years. It's the last month that I'm the pastor there before I moved to California to teach at Masters.

They call me up and they say, "Pastor, we want to go to the local prison "to see the guy that killed our daughter. "We want you to go with us." (gasps) Are you sure you want to do this? Yes, yes, yes, we want to. Okay, let's go. So I agreed to go with them, went to the prison.

They had a room there. This guy came in with his lawyer and they had stationed four of the biggest guards you ever saw. I mean, they could be the front line to the University of Southern California football team. I mean, they were big guys. And this couple shared with him, "You know, not long after this happened, "we wished you dead.

"We don't wish that any longer "because the Lord Jesus Christ has changed our life." And they began to share their testimony with him. And they said, "We would love to be able to forgive you, "but we can't because you can't repent. "And besides that, what you've done in killing our daughter "is not nearly as important as the fact "that there is this big elephant in the room "and that is your rebellion against God." That's the real issue.

Killing our daughter is only a symptom of that bigger issue. It's only a symptom of the bigger issue. And I looked up and every single guard in that room had tears in their eyes. I don't think those guys had ever seen anything like that before. When we're talking about forgiving unbelievers, the issue is not their sin against us, ultimately.

The issue is their sin against God and their rebellion against God. That's what really has to be dealt with first. It's an eternal issue, not a temporal issue. Like Peter exhorted the wives in 1 Peter 3, that their job is to win the unbelieving husband over without a word by the behavior of their lives.

That's what needs to be done here. You don't win your unbelieving husband over by putting repent on the bottom of his beer can. That's not the way you win him over. You don't win him over by lecturing him into righteousness. You don't win him over that way. That just drives him further from the truth.

How do you win your husband over? You do it by the behavior of your life. That's how you do that. You say, okay, well, what about forgiving dead people? What about that? You've probably heard, somebody's died and done something against you. You're supposed to put a chair in the middle of the room, pretend that they're there, read them the riot act and all that.

Boy, you know that's dangerously close necromancy. That is talking with the dead, and the Bible's very clear. We're not supposed to talk with the dead. We don't need to do that. Why? Because if we're already practicing attitudinal forgiveness in our heart, we're willing to forgive anyone of anything. God knows if that person who had already passed away and sinned against you, if they had repented, He knows in your heart that you could automatically forgive them.

You don't put a chair in the middle of the room and pretend that they're there and read them the riot act and all of a sudden act as if somehow that takes care of it. Why do people do that kind of thing? Again, for the therapeutic value. Or here's a big one.

What about forgiving ourselves? I know God can forgive me. I know you can forgive me, but I just can't forgive myself. Do you realize how prideful that statement is? You realize how prideful that is? As if God has a standard of forgiveness, other people have a standard of forgiveness.

Well, my standard of forgiveness in terms of myself is so much higher. It's so much higher. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that we need to forgive ourselves. What they mean is that they have a hard time getting over what they've done. You don't forgive yourself. You repent and you do what is right.

We're not supposed to forgive it. There's not a hint of that anywhere in the Bible. Where's that come from? Psychology. It comes from psychology. Again, it has a therapeutic value. It makes me feel good about myself. The fact that I need to forgive myself. Really? As if somehow your standard of righteousness is better than God's.

God can forgive me, but I just can't forgive myself. How incredibly prideful that arrogant viewpoint on life is. Wow. What can we say about this? Is it possible to be too forgiving? Grab your Bible just for a moment. Let's go over to Revelation chapter two. Revelation chapter two in verse 20.

(silence) Here the Lord is speaking to the church there at Thyatira. And it says in verse 20, "But I have this against you, "that you tolerate the woman Jezebel "who calls herself a prophetess, "and she teaches and leads my bond servants astray "so that they commit acts of immorality "and eat things offered to idols." Now this Jezebel is probably a moniker, probably a nickname, 'cause this is the Old Testament.

This wicked woman in the Old Testament. This is not her actual name, but she assumed this name. This is what God, in a sense, nicknamed this woman there in the church at Thyatira was Jezebel. But if you look in verse 20 at the word tolerate, you see that word tolerate?

That's exactly the same Greek word as we talked about forgiveness. It's the word ephiamy. In this particular case, Christians actually can practice too much forgiveness in overlooking sin. You tolerate, you forgive too much people who are practicing open sin. That's not the way that the church of Jesus Christ should be.

We become too tolerant of sin. I understand the concept of tolerance, but when we become tolerant of sin, that's bad stuff. Tolerant of sin. So how should we forgive? How should we forgive? Let me close off with this. The Bible says we need to forgive immediately. If your brother sins, and if he repents, forgive him.

But then go back to Luke 17 again as we close this off. Luke 17. And we're interested in verse four, where it says, "And if he sins against you seven times in a day, "and returns to you seven times, "saying, 'I repent, forgiven.'" Listen to this. That's seven times in one day.

Let's say, for instance, you're working next to a guy who has a problem with anger. He's a brand new Christian, and he's working, and he gets really frustrated at what he's doing. He turns around and boom, pops you right in the kisser. All right? You go, "Oh!" And he said, "Oh, listen, that's wrong of me.

"I really have sinned against you. "It's a sin against God. "Will you forgive me?" Sure. You're rubbing your mouth like this. I'm willing to forgive you. An hour later, he's frustrated again, turns around, boom, in the kisser one more time. You go, "Whoa! "Oh, listen, I just, you know, "this thing got really bad.

"It's sin. "Will you forgive me?" You're rubbing this. You're saying, "Yeah, okay, I'm willing to forgive you." Couple hours later, boom! That was the third time. He goes, "Oh, listen, I'm working on this. "You need to work faster," you say. This is getting really puffy now. "Will you forgive me?" Yes, I forgive you.

Seven times? One day. All right, now you're starting to feel it, right? Now you're starting to feel it. Your reaction to that is exactly that of the apostles, 'cause look at verse five. You can almost see 'em. It says, "The apostles said to the Lord, "O Lord, increase our faith." You can almost see them throw their hands up in the air.

Are you kidding me? Seven times in one day, there's no time to look for the fruit of repentance. You have to forgive them based upon their word. No time to inspect fruit. Seven times, one day. Wow. Basically, Jesus tells a story about the slave, and he concludes in verse 10 by saying, "If we are unworthy slaves, "then we're willing to do anything "that our master wants us to do." That's the standpoint that we have to approach all forgiveness from the standpoint of, I am an unworthy slave.

So we need to forgive immediately. We need to forgive repeatedly. And we need to forgive, like the man who committed immorality with a stepmother in 1 Corinthians, we need to forgive lavishly. He says, "Rather, forgive and comfort, "lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed "by excessive sorrow." Why should we forgive?

Because you are more like Christ when you do. You are more like Christ. When you do. When you forgive. It has been a wonderful pleasure for me to be with you this weekend. I have gained, and my wife has too, many new friends. I look forward to seeing you or talking with you in the future.

I hope that what we've studied has been helpful in bringing about genuine idea in your heart about what true, vivid, reconciliation is. Let's bow our hearts in prayer, shall we? Gracious Lord, you are so good. You're so gracious. You're so loving towards us. That when we sin against you, you actively do not remember our sins against us.

You pardon us of our sin because of what Jesus Christ has done in his perpetuary death and atoning work on the cross. May we, as unworthy, undeserving, forgiven sinners, be quick to forgive others who seek our forgiveness. Only then can we have truly reconciled relationships. And so, Father, I pray for Berean as a church that represents the testimony and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I pray for the pastoral staff, for all that are involved in the various ministries. I pray for all that attend this church, that as they are faithful to you and practice biblical reconciliation, that your hand will rest richly upon them and will really bless them. This we pray in Christ's name, amen.

- Dr. Street, thank you so much for dedicating your time to speak to our church. Dr. Street is a very busy man. So we were so blessed that he was able to say yes. And even though, originally I think it was last year, right? And then we had to postpone it, is that, yeah.

And so he's a man who wears many different hats, right? He travels everywhere. He's an author, he's a professor, he leads the ACBC counseling, and he's also an elder at Grace Community Church. And so he's a husband, he's a grandfather, father. And so the fact that we were able to have him for the weekend, I mean, it was a tremendous blessing for our church.

And so let's thank Dr. Street and Mr. Street who came. (audience applauding) Yeah. So thank you, thank you so much. Some of you are aware, and some of you may not be aware, that a few years ago, we made a conscious decision in our leadership that we want to be more deliberate in pushing our church toward biblical counseling.

And so some people, when you think of biblical counseling, you think of, you know, do you have a problem, are you depressed, or something happened in your life, and I need specific counseling. And watching my wife Esther going through the program, and I had a completely paradigm shift in the past few years, that biblical counseling really is something that everybody needs to learn how to do, be trained, because basically it's discipling other people with God's word.

You know, when the Bible says not to be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and that's basically a summary of biblical counseling, using the word of God specifically for everyone, right? There isn't a single one of us that is not messed up in some way, right?

Some of us are more obvious, and some of us are more willing to admit it, but every single one of us, you know, there are negative effects that has caused us to live in such a way that is contrary to the word of God. And so biblical counseling basically is learning the skill to specifically apply the word of God in a very specific manner.

And so again, I think it was really appropriate that Dr. Street came, and hopefully we were motivated, and even it's just the way in his teaching, it's not just, you know, like just general, we need to forgive, and we need to do this, and the way he was able to go through the specifics of dealing with the heart, right?

What it means to be reconciled, what it means to forgive, and just going through the verses, and to be able to apply that, sitting in front of somebody one-to-one, and that's really, in the end, what discipleship is, right? Is how to apply the word of God specifically in people's lives.

And so one of the things that he mentioned, that there's masters, college, university, they offer a two-year program to train people, and I know that some of us who are able to do that, we encourage you to consider that, but also along with that, some of our church people are already in the process of getting the biblical counseling training through other sources.

I think, what do they call that? ACBC, but what do you call that? Certification, okay? So that's something that you can do without committing two years, if you can't do that, you can, there are programs. We're hoping that eventually, that Pastor Mark will be able to lead our church in that direction more specifically, and that's why we asked him to go get his doctorate in that field, so that we can apply that in our church, okay?

So, but even before then, and that's probably gonna happen sooner than later, there are, like they have ACBC conferences that come up that we ask people to go and attend, and that'll kind of get you started in that process. And so, this is something that we've been wrestling as a church, especially as our church is getting bigger, how do we disciple our church as it continues to grow?

Right, and this is something that, again, in the past few years, that I've been really convicted that this is the path that we need to go, and it's not just about certain people that needs to sit down with a counselor, the whole church needs to learn how to apply this in our lives, and how to help other people apply this in this life.

And so, again, we'll give you more specific information as time goes, but hopefully all of you had enough of it where you realize this is not just something for professionals, you need to go get a doctor to do this, this is something that every Christian should learn how to apply this in our life, okay?

Along with that, as we wrap up our retreat, many of the things that he said, for application encouragement, as you are headed down after lunch, we want, get in the habit of becoming active listeners, meaning that you listen, and then if you just kind of turn it off, and then you just go into the next thing that's on your schedule, it's easy to forget.

And then if you ask next week, what did you learn, you won't remember, right? And so get in the habit between husband and wife, asking each other, what did you learn, right? What did you learn? While you're driving down, you got two to six hours, depending on the traffic, right?

Ask each other, right, what did you learn specifically, on the first message, second, third message? And if you have children in the car, and they learn from Sunday school, ask your kids, what was taught today, what did you learn? And then ask, how are you going to specifically apply that?

Where in your heart do you see that you need to really dig and to, you know, to reveal, and to repent, and to forgive, where does this need to be applied? And hopefully you guys can have that meaningful conversation while you're going there. It doesn't have to be the whole ride, but at least get in the habit of, not just at this retreat, but every Sunday, every Bible study, get in the habit of asking each other, what did you learn?

What are you applying? And so that we're not just listening, that we're actively trying to apply everything that we're learning. So again, I encourage you to do that. And then as I said, at the beginning of the retreat, one of the benefits of us coming together is that we're able to break some ice, right?

Some of you guys are brand new. I met some of you who've never even been to Berean. The retreat's the first time that you've been around Bereans, right? And then obviously, some of you have been here for many, many years. Hopefully some of the ice has been broken. And then from here on, it could be very awkward at church, because you're going to see their face.

I remember meeting you, but I remember your name. And then you walk the other way, because you don't want to be embarrassed. So as I told you, I want to encourage you, in the name of Jesus Christ, be awkward, right? If you remember their face, yeah, I know I talked to you.

I had lunch, breakfast, dinner. You were my small group. I don't remember you, right? It's better to be awkward in the beginning and build friendship and relationship going forward than to continue to avoid that person and then get more awkward as time goes. And then you've got a whole bunch of people at church you've got to stay away from, right?

So I want to encourage you. So if you see them at church, see them down the street, even if you didn't, get in the habit of asking, hey, I don't remember you. I don't know if we've ever met. And they say, oh, yeah, we did. Sorry. And then even if you have to do it for the next four or five times, right?

As our church grows, we need to be thick-faced in order to build relationships that's going to last, OK? No joke. There's many, many years of avoiding shame that I've come to the conclusion that I have to do this in order to build meaningful relationship, OK? So hopefully you can do that even today, even during lunchtime.

And then again, as we wrap up, I want to specifically thank our brother Jason, who has been-- And I know there are many people who serve. But obviously, I cannot mention all of you. There's everybody in the background, all the teachers who are taking care of our children. So everybody, we want to give thanks to everybody who served.

But again, Jason was kind of spearheading all of this. And this is-- it's hard running a 100-people retreat. That is perfect. Yes. OK. Yeah, so there's a lot going on in his life. And again, we want to thank Jason for just sacrificing. And then hopefully when he goes home, he can take a fat nap as a reward.

And it happens to be his 51st birthday today. It's actually 41, but I'm assuming he aged 10 years while he was here. OK. So again, thank all of you for coming. And as our church continues to grow, as we mentioned, part of the reason why we practice membership in our church, we're trying to be intentional with everything that we're doing.

And as our church grows, it becomes harder and harder to be intentional just from the leadership. So our intentionality has to come from every member at the church, that things that you're learning has to be applied on the daily lives. And so again, I want to encourage and challenge you.

Everything that you've heard, how can I personally apply that instead of just waiting, well, what is the leadership going to do? How can I personally apply that? Because ultimately, when you live your Christian life in isolation, and you do good, and you go before God, people will thank you.

If you're generous, they say, oh, you're a generous person. If you're gracious, you're a gracious person. But when that happens in the context of a community and with other people sharing and building the church together, God gets the glory. Because what unifies us, what causes us together to be gracious, is just not because one person is gracious.

It's because of what Christ has done for us. And so that's why building a church, a deliberate church that honors and glorifies God, is our goal. Whether we are 60, 600, or 6,000, however, whatever the growth of the church is, that from this point on, let's say we continue to add more people, there's no way this is going to continue with just the leadership.

We need every member in the church to be bought into what we're trying to do. And again, this is not unique to Beroean Community Church. This is what the scripture tells us to do. So again, we want to thank all of you who are here. So just one more announcement.

After this, there's going to be a small group time. And then around 12 o'clock-- oh, you have the announcement? OK, we'll let Jason give the announcement. OK. All right, we have a few key announcements right now. Because the session went a little longer than anticipated, we're actually going to have you guys, all the parents, go over and pick up the kids after this and head directly to the photo, for the all-church photo.

For the Sprouts and Nursery, go pick up your kids and head over to the lawn area with the fountain. Checkout time is at 1 PM. You guys hear me? Checkout time is at 1 PM. So after the photo session, for those of you who haven't checked out already, clear out your rooms right after the photo session.

Go to your rooms and pack up. If you arrived earlier, a day early, you guys need to go to the hotel and check out that way. For the rest of you who didn't arrive a day early, you guys don't need to do anything. Just clear out your rooms and you're good to go.

And after lunch, please make sure you guys take your lanyards and ID holders. There's two boxes at the registration table. Put them in there. Please remove the inserts in the ID holders before you do that. And don't mix them up. It's going to be very clear. One's the ID holders and the other is the lanyards.

And lastly, we do have the winners for the podcast for those of you that did listen. It's going to be posted on the Facebook page. Just spare you guys some time right now. We'll email you guys your gift card prizes. I think that's it. Thank you. And Pastor Peter will close us in prayer.

Sorry. I probably didn't clarify this part. Small group time, do that during your lunch time. Do the small group time during your lunch time. Thank you. All right. OK, so right after this, we're going straight out there. Those of you who need to grab your kids, go grab your kids and try to come out as soon as you can.

And then right after that, I think we'll probably go pack up and stuff and go to lunch. And then at lunchtime, do your small group. And then your small group will be the conclusion of the retreat. And then I'll stand up for the closing praise. Your grace that leads the sinner home from death to life forever and sings the song of righteousness by blood and not by memory.

Your grace that reaches far and wide to every tribe and nation has called my heart to enter in the joy of your salvation. By grace I am redeemed. By grace I am restored. And now I freely walk into the arms of Christ my Lord. Your grace that I cannot explain, not by my earthly wisdom, the prince of life without a stain was traded for this sin.

By grace I am redeemed. By grace I am restored. And now I freely walk into the arms of Christ my Lord. Let praise rise. Let praise rise up and overflow. My song resound forever. For grace will see me welcomed home to walk beside my Savior. Let's learn by grace.

By grace I am redeemed. By grace I am restored. And now I freely walk into the arms of Christ my Lord. One more time, by grace. By grace I am redeemed. By grace I am restored. And now I freely walk into the arms of Christ my Lord. That's great.

Heavenly Father, we thank you so much, Lord God, for the privilege that we've had this weekend. We know, Father, there are many brothers and sisters around the world who are gathering together each week, Lord God, not knowing the suffering and the persecution that they're under. Help us, Lord, as we continue to support and fellowship with the brothers around the world, that we would not take for granted everything that you've given us.

I pray that all the teaching that you've given this weekend, that it would truly bear fruit in our hearts, Lord God, that we would not leave this retreat, Lord, with just more knowledge, but help us to truly practice biblical reconciliation. What that means, Lord God, to be mindful, Lord, of our hearts, to be able to expose, to repent, to be reconciled, to forgive, and that as our church practices the love that Christ showed us, that the world will know, Father God, who we are.

So I pray that you would continue to build a church that honors you, glorifies you, and to be a brighter and brighter light, Lord God, in this dark world, that we may be able to share with more and more people, Lord God, the hope that is in Christ, in Christ alone.

We thank you, Father God, for Dr. Street and Mrs. Street, Lord God, who sacrificed to be with us this weekend. I pray that you would give tremendous blessing over their families, their children, their grandchildren, for their ministry, that you would use them for many years to come, Lord God, to spread the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Give them the physical strength that they need, the spiritual vitality, relationship, Lord God, and unity, Lord, in all that they do, that many more people would come to know who you are, and that you would bless them, that they would be a blessing to many others as well. So we pray for guidance.

Father God, as we conclude your life, wisdom, that we would seek you, Lord, and that we would seek true wisdom, Lord God, not of this world, but according to your kingdom. And so we ask, Lord God, as we wrap up this retreat, that you would help us to apply all that you've given for the sake of the name of Jesus Christ.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. God sent his son. They called him Jesus. He came to love, heal, and forgive. He lived and died. To buy my pardon, an empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives. Because he lives, I can face tomorrow. Because he lives, all fear is gone.

Because I know he holds the future. And life is worth the living just because he lives.