Hi, my name is Priscilla Chen and I'm a freshman in the college ministry and today I'll be sharing my testimony with you all. Before attending Berean, starting in high school, I grew up in another church that was really like a second home to me. I knew all the other kids and their families.

My parents were both leaders in the church and my siblings and I were very involved in church activities. I was convinced that my Christian-like deeds and shallow knowledge of God and the Bible were enough to prove that I was a Christian and in 2017 I got baptized. A month after I was baptized, our youth pastor passed away unexpectedly at a young age and it shook the youth ministry and church as a whole.

What a fragile illusion of faith I had was completely shattered as I turned in anger towards God, questioning why he had cut short the life of a man so dedicated to the church and his ministry. I soon began to doubt the existence of God altogether, refusing to believe that this could be part of the plan of a God who truly loved his people.

As I dwelt on past memories, I was consumed by overwhelming guilt about the reflection of Christ's love my pastor had shown to me all those years that I had taken for granted and casually dismissed. Guilt coupled with my growing unbelief quickly drove me away from the church and Christianity as I tried to run as far away from God as I could.

I got a job and began to hang out with bad friends who introduced me to all the evil things this world has to offer. For every empty void that I felt in my life, I found a sin to indulge in, to find temporary satisfaction and self-worth. In a worldly sense, I never felt more free.

I had the means to buy and do the things I wanted and friends to reassure me that this was right and that I was happy. During the summer after my sophomore year of high school, my sister sat down to talk with me about the concerns my parents had voiced about my rebellious behavior and refusal to attend church.

She invited me to visit Berean with her and when I joined the youth group, I saw believers who were my age or even younger who had genuine faith and lived a life that truly reflected that. Instead of being encouraged at the time, I felt ashamed that all the years I'd spent growing up in the church had led me to this point of living a double life, feeling guilty and turning on my Christian act every Friday and Sunday, yet returning to my self-serving, sin-ruled lifestyle every day in between.

My pride and unwillingness to accept the challenge of rebuilding my faith led to a long period of struggle between wanting to hold on to this newfound worldly freedom and the salvation I knew I dearly needed. During a youth retreat in February of 2020, Pastor Nate spoke on cultivating a hunger and desire for the Bible.

He said, "A hunger and thirst for the word can't be artificially generated. Only the believer truly cherishes his word. And if you say, 'I need God,' and don't immediately turn to the Bible, you don't believe you truly need God." I remember him reading John 11, 25 to 26, in which Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life.

He who believes in me will live, even if he dies. And everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" For the first time, I felt truly confronted with the question, "Are you a believer?" Up until then, I had never even considered that I might not be saved, since I had done all the right things.

I went to church since I was young, memorized Bible verses, served, and even got baptized. But as I considered the lifestyle of an unbeliever reflective of complacency and unrepentant sin, there was a moment of realization when I finally accepted that despite all the years of playing the part of being a Christian, there was no gray area.

I had no relationship of God and nothing of Christ in me. The weight of this realization and recognition of the consequences of my status as a transgressor against the holy God had set in, and I understood for the first time why the good news truly is good news to a sinner like myself.

Looking back now, it was truly only possible by God's mercy and grace that my hardened heart of unbelief was softened, and my eyes were opened to see the utter sin and depravity in my life. I was convicted of countless sins as I began taking baby steps as an infant believer and reading the Bible, praying, and making my relationship with God personal for myself.

As a result, my life began to change as I let go of the worldly things I had held onto so tightly in light of this newfound treasure that had been revealed to me. Since then, I've still fallen into sin and no doubt will continue to until the day I die, but I trust that I am being sanctified through each and every trial and triumph in life all for the glory of God as I strive to live out the calling of all Christians having received and being a steward of God's grace.

Thank you.