- Hello, everyone. We're back studying the book of Ephesians. Today, we're gonna be talking about some practical matters and some instructions for the home. Let's take a moment to pray before we jump into the study. Lord, we thank you for your grace again, and we do pray that as you give to us your instruction and your word, help us, Father God, to have the wisdom to see how to apply.

And what's more, help us to have courage and strength. And Father God, help us to also think biblically, to see, Father Lord, that this fruit of obedience to you far exceeds any kind of fruit this world has to offer. We thank you, Lord, and pray for a fruitful time of study.

It's in Christ's name we pray, amen. Okay, today we're looking at Ephesians chapter five, verse 22. I'm gonna read all the way down to verse 33, as it is one cohesive section. So let's take a moment to read this together. And it says, "Be subject," oh, sorry, I'm starting from verse 21.

"And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. "Wise, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. "For the husband is the head of the wife, "as Christ also is the head of the church, "he himself being the savior of the body. "But as a church is subject to Christ, "so also the wives ought to be "to their husbands in everything.

"Furthermore, husbands, love your wives "just as Christ also loved the church "and gave himself up for her, "so that he might sanctify her, "having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, "that he might present to himself the church "in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle "or any such thing, "but that she would be holy and blameless.

"So husbands ought also to love their own wives "as their own bodies. "He who loves his own wife loves himself, "for no one ever hated his own flesh, "but nourishes and cherishes it, "just as Christ also does the church, "because we are members of his body. "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother "and shall be joined to his wife, "and the two shall become one flesh.

"This mystery is great, "but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. "Nevertheless, each individual among you "also is to love his own wife, even as himself, "and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Now, by way of just review in that previous paragraph, recall that the challenge for the church was to walk carefully and to walk in wisdom, okay?

To put aside the kind of foolishness that exists in the world. At the end of that paragraph, he commanded, "Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." So if you link the two ideas, it is a wisdom of God. It reflects our wisdom to be able to think like Christ, to think with the realities that God has given us in the spirit, to be able to subject ourselves to one another.

And as you think about that, it totally makes sense that within the gospel and our understanding of Jesus Christ, a huge exhortation is to be able to love sacrificially like Christ, where we are willing to mitigate our own rights and preferences, where we are willing to reduce or to put down and subject our own importance for the sake of somebody else, okay?

And then if you think about it for a moment, this applies in so many other areas of life. Where else are we challenged to practice submission to one another? Well, if you think about it, obviously in the military, clear ranking order, in government, it's your workplace. What's more, even in school or classrooms, there is need for authority and submission.

What's more, even in communities, in society, in essentially relationships that we have amongst neighbors or even friends, one might think you're supposed to be completely equal. Well, actually, if you look at most friendships, a lot of friendships end up looking like siblings, where you have an individual who is maybe like providing care, exhorting, encouraging.

And what's more, even in communities, you have community leaders. I mean, I think that's kind of funny, but even in the ideas of games and leisure, you realize that sometimes in leisure, there are things like dance classes and you have instructors and when you think about which classes are the best, and typically the classes that are the best are the classes where the instructors are good, where the individual who is teaching, the individual who's guiding, when that person is capable, is able to control the classroom, is able to direct for the purpose of you learning, those are actually the most enjoyable times.

You even think about church and the scripture challenges the believers to submit to the elders of the church, that there will be order in the church, that there will be also this thought, like if you think about how to conduct oneself in the household of God, in the book of Titus, it says actually the younger men should be respectful to the older, that the older ladies should be instructing and setting an example for the younger.

There is so much in terms of submission, there is so much in terms of authority, so much in terms of seeing this kind of, what sounds like almost a bad word, hierarchy. And we realize that no, that's not a bad term, but actually embedded into the design of God, such things exist, authority and submission.

More so here in this passage specifically, we realize it also applies to the home between husband and wife. Now the problem is that sin tends to pervert and ruin these relationships. It ruins the relationships amongst teachers and students in the home between husband and wife, parent and child. Sin tends to pervert things.

Sin takes something that's good, like authority, where you need authority in order to make sure that you are instructing well, to guide and to protect sometimes even from oneself. But then that authority is perverted to selfishness, competition, greed, abuse. Sometimes our sins causes these relationships to be completely loveless and authority is practiced where we essentially simply subjecting people without any care or consideration of the individuals.

So we realize again, that a massive hindrance to the idea of authority and submission is because it a lot of times goes sour. We're afraid that authority will be abused and that we won't be loved. And Satan seeks to pervert the design of God and especially ruin the home.

Satan desires to essentially tell us otherwise, that no, the design of God is actually unholy. You need to fend for yourself. You need more freedom. You need more safety. You need more protection. You need more liberating. Forget the family, right? That I believe is the kind of thought and concepts that Satan would love to have.

But rather we want to make sure that we abide by scripture's expectations of the home. That the home is a place where God has designed for there to be great holiness. That there are supposed to be great levels of joy, family unity, things like trust, intimacy and harmony and levels of love between husband and wife, parent and children.

But all of that comes with great responsibility and self-sacrifice. All that comes from deep commitment and high risk. And so scripture typically tells us that the context by we're supposed to be practicing these things is in the context of God's design. And so if there is an area where in connection with the previous passage in the previous paragraph, the connection in the previous paragraph said walk wisely, we need to be all the more careful to know the instruction of God and walk wisely in the home.

And I'm very much convicted by that just from the get-go. Because truthfully speaking, what is sometimes very common is that where we are comfortable is that in the home, we're actually the most careless. Typically in the home, we're very careless with our words. And scripture actually predicted this by saying, where there is familiarity, there's contempt.

And even with Jesus, when he was in his hometown, he said, "The prophet has no welcome in his hometown." Because they just assumed, "We know this person. "This child is the son of who?" But if you think about it actually, God says, "No, especially in the home, "God has given very clear instructions "and we are to make sure we walk carefully "and wisely in them." The very first point I wanna think about is actually the context of the commands that are to come.

What do I mean? Well, I would like to have you think about the idea of the commandment then, the commandment now, and God's design. The commandment then and the commandment now and God's design. Why? Because we understand actually that these commands that we read, where it called upon the wives to be submissive to their husbands, this was given at a time when the sentiment towards women was so ungodly.

Rather than seeing women as a fellow image bearer, men or women, fellow image bearer, that we are both heirs of Christ if we're Christian. Within the era, there was so much abuse and neglect. What's more specifically to the Church of Ephesus, whether it was the Turkish area or the Greek area or the Roman era, there was such abuse.

History has it that there was so much of a measure of corruption and there was so much oppression towards those who were weak. And Scripture, and not only Scripture, but also outside history records the fact. And I'll just briefly mention that at that time, there was such a practice where essentially people would pray and thank the gods that they were not slaves or women.

In ancient Greek society, there were so many vices in the world, such as the practice of having many concubines or the practice of going to the temple idol, temple worship and hiring prostitutes for their sexual pleasure. And so a lot of Greek men found no reason to divorce their wives.

Why? It was no pain to them to just have them around. Their wives were simply there to bear legitimate children to keep the lineage going. And so when males, when the men felt the need for sexual gratification, they would turn to prostitution. They would turn to sexual promiscuity and all kinds of immorality were rampant in the day.

To that era, this command was given, love your husbands and submit to them. Which is very, it's just kind of, we have to think and understand that the command of God then nevertheless is still the same. This command applies then and this command applies now. Perhaps we may feel that now it's controversial because now things have changed, because now there's more legal protection.

Now women are not seen as property. They're protected by the law and successful economically. But does that mean then that God's commandments have changed? Actually, I would argue that that commandment probably was harder to swallow at that time than now. Right? That's what I would think. What's really interesting is throughout time, God has always wanted more than political and I guess more than social change.

He wanted marriages to be Christ-like and holy and godly. God did not just vie for legal change, but he wanted a growth of God likeness for children of light to behave like children of light, most importantly, within the home. God desired the marriage relationship to be holy and permanent, like his own character and love.

God's desire that marriage look radically different from the culture and the generation. And so what's really interesting is that in God's design, the concepts of love, authority, submission has no conflict. It doesn't just simply conflict internally, but it's supposed to actually conflict with the entire generation and age. So as we think about this, I just want to highlight the fact that the kind of love marriage relationship that God has designed where there is supposed to be such a humility, such a Christ-likeness, such a selfless purpose to not come to be served, but to serve, that is all possible only in Christ.

And so I'll take a moment to give one of those quick advice, particularly for the ladies, since we're talking about ladies, especially right now, if you're single, please listen up. This design of God where love, authority, and submission somehow stands in perfect harmony and accomplishes God's design, we're saying this is only possible in Christ.

And so when you are thinking about dating and getting involved in a romantic relationship, do not settle for somebody who is just Christian by name. Why? Because the kind of love that is beautiful, holy, and Christ-like will not be possible. And already in a vulnerable position as a woman who is called to be submissive, you will cause yourself to not only be vulnerable, but to perhaps endure great pains.

I want to advise you, make sure he understands and knows the love of God in such a way that he has beheld the holy, holy love of God that has descended to reach a pitiful, wretched sinner like us, and he is just genuinely broken by the mercies of God.

That's the kind of guy that you want, the guy who's seen the incredible love of God. Only then can he practice it. All right, moving on. In this passage, we see the clear command to the wives, and the command is this. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Later on down the line, he talks about how this mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife, even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

So I want to highlight for you the two commands that is given within this paragraph, verses 21 through 33. And the two commandments are that you be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord, and that the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Giving you a little bit of an outline of the passage, those two commandments are emphatic, and then the rest of the section that we're looking at gives you the rationale for the husband is the head of the wife.

And then it gives you the model, but as the church is subject to Christ. So it gives you the rationale and the model in verse 23 and 24. Let's take a look at these two commands, be subject and be respectful. First, when we think about be subject, again, this term, be subject, is a connection to the previous command in verse 21 that says be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

And that term most frequently is used in the military context. That term means to place under, okay? To place under. This is the idea of being submissive. And because it is used frequently in the military context, it is thinking about arranging individuals in terms of rank, okay? And I just like to put it into simplistic terms.

I mean, we could sit and think deeply and meditate about what does submission mean? What does submission mean, right? But essentially when Jesus says, "Not my will, but yours," that's submission. I'm not gonna lead, you lead. That's submission, right? And so that, in terms of a kind of simplistic definition, you have it there.

Also, in tandem with that, the passage says to respect. And the concept of respect is the word phobia, right? Which where we get that, like the Latin terms and the English word phobia, which means to fear. The most frequent or most commonly used translation of this term is fear, but in context of certain things like fearing of the Lord, fearing of people, we get the ideas of reverence, respect, and honor, okay?

There are some cross-references I would like to highlight for you. And the first cross-reference comes from Colossians 3, 18 through 19. This passage says, "Wives, be subject to your husbands "as is fitting in the Lord. "Husbands, love your wives "and do not be embittered against them." Here's another passage that I'm gonna refer to a couple times, so I'm gonna read it for you here, and it's important for us.

It says, 1 Peter 3, verse one through six, "In the same way, you wives, "be submissive to your own husbands, "so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, "they may be won without a word "by the behavior of their wives, "as they observe your chast and respectful behavior.

"Your adornment must not be merely external, "braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry "or putting on dresses, "but let it be the hidden person of the heart, "but the imperishable quality "of a gentle and quiet spirit, "which is precious in the sight of God. "For in this way, in former times, "a holy woman also, who hoped in God, "used to adorn themselves, "being submissive to their own husbands, "just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

"And you have become her children "if you do what is right "without being frightened by any fear." Okay? So what you have there is you have some cross-references and other passages that describe the element of submissiveness, and more importantly, in the 1 Peter passage, it talks about how there's this respectful behavior in the way that Sarah treated Abraham.

Now, giving you a couple tangible examples, I wanna give you a tangible respect that I sometimes think about, and it's the relationship that I have with our elders, particularly with Elder James, James Hong, and I'm gonna use him as an example. Did you know that our friendship has gone now 20 years?

Okay? He met me when I was a wee little 18-year-old. James actually was to me in college an older brother, a true older brother in the faith, okay? He was actually my small group leader. He actually helped me sign up for my classes. I came into UCI as a bitter child who didn't get into the school that he wanted to, and I was procrastinating signing up for classes, and he helped me and showed me the ropes.

He also helped me and showed me the ropes around the school, and he also challenged me in my faith, 'cause I was essentially a recent convert, so to speak, just a year into my faith. And so here's a small group leader of mine who's been kind of guiding me.

Being an old brother, I would crash at his house, he would let me just use his stuff, all that kind of thing. I mean, again, I could just keep going on. He sold me his bike, all that kind of stuff. But the cool thing is his love for me as a brother caused him, when I became a pastor, he immediately just started to call me Pastor Mark.

I mean, think about how awkward that can be, you know? I never asked him to call me Pastor Mark, he just said it. And then as the years went by, he became an elder at the church, and then so I call him Elder James, which essentially in terms of authority at the church, he has greater authority and say as to the direction of the church and the final decisions that we make in the daily operations of what the church is going to do.

Our relationship is weird. But I want you to think about this because the respect is just given mutually. The kind of respect we have for each other is in the context of brotherly love, is in the context of best interest for the church, and it can be an awesome thing, right?

It can be an awesome thing. I think about things like submission and sometimes a lot of people are like, "Whoa." But the thing about it is, again, I'm called to submit to my elders, and I would gladly do it because if you told me, "Mark, you need to submit to your elders," I'm not gonna sit here and be like, "Say what?" Right, I would sit there and be like, "Gladly." And I actually tell them, "Elders, you tell me what you would like to have done, "I'll do it.

"Say whatever you need, I'll do it." Why? Because that submission and respect happens in the context of trust. That submission and respect happens in the context of working together and being like-minded and united in Christ. And when that all happens in that context, it's actually a beautiful thing. And I love it.

I'm so thankful, so grateful. Okay, now, at the same time, I think some people do, like I can give an example of that, but a lot of people may give example of, "Well, what about this time when authority was abused? "Well, what about this time when we, "when you have these hierarchies "and it's gonna be dangerous for everybody, right?" I get it.

But in terms of the home, we have to work this way. So let me just make a quick, quick hermeneutical note, very fast, okay? Which is one, we have to ask the question, as we're studying Ephesians chapter five, chapter five, verse 21 and on, what does this passage specifically say in command?

And what's very clear is, again, without definitions of the word, it gives a specific command of what the home is supposed to look like and what the wife is supposed to do in terms of both action and attitude towards her husband. And that's what you call the biblical theology of what does this passage say?

What does this book in the Bible say? Okay? Next, in order to try to understand the concept, we start to do systematic theology where we compare to all the other references in the Bible, right, at this point, we're still just comparing passage to passage. And we're saying, how did this contribute to the concept in the whole of scripture?

And how all the other passages contribute to this idea? Okay? Only then can you ask the question, well, then how does it apply? And these instances that I see, how am I supposed to actually navigate through the application? That's your practical theology. That's your philosophical theology. How do you make sense of it in the concept in real world application?

But you can't work backwards and say, no, no, no, no, no. We're not gonna do that because it doesn't make practical sense. That would be backwards. The authority of God dictates that we have to work in this fashion where first goes, what did he say? What did he say collectively that gives us the various principles that contribute to my understanding?

And then the question becomes, it may be difficult to apply. Now, how do I do it? Okay? So part of the reason why I think there can be a problem is because I want to make note. This passage you might think is very short. And it is. Verse 22 to 24, it's just a couple of verses, right?

Three verses. But notice how this passage tells us that wise we should be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. And if you look at all these terms and the rationale and the model behind it, you realize there are parameters. And you kind of noticed that that's what I started to do.

This command comes to us in a context. It does not say, husbands do whatever you want because you rule. Do it, right? That's not what it said. Neither did it say, listen, I want you to be subject to your own husbands as to your boss, to your earthly king.

That's not what it said. It said, as to the Lord. I do not think this passage means, and nobody I think thinks that this passage means that all of a sudden you become so subservient to your husband that you are like a child to him as a parent. No, your relationship and husband and wife, one.

There's a oneness between you. And within that oneness, there's an embedded authority and submission that is beautiful in the eyes of God as he has designed it, right? And I like to say again, I think people who automatically think that, oh, this means I have to submit to him like a commanding officer.

This means I have to submit to him like some authoritarian dictator. No, I don't think that is the case. And then you have to do the work of thinking through what are the parameters here? So we begin. What are the parameters? One, your willing submission to your husband as a wife is an act of love and honor.

Why? Because let's make the observation. It says, "Wise, be subject to your own husband's "as to the Lord." Pause there a little bit. If your immediate reaction, when you hear the word, "as to the Lord," is like the Lord, right? Yes, me Lord. Like if that's what you're thinking, then now all of a sudden it's like a question.

It's like, what did you think about the Lord? What is your perception of your Lord? Because some people are like, "Lord," you know? And some people are like, "Lord," right? Like, that's different. And so if you felt like Lord meant that guy over there who, yes, I'm supposed to submit to and love, but him just being there just makes me feel guilty and pressured, I get it.

I have to submit to him. Then yeah, you're gonna feel the exact same way that perhaps your husband, that guy, I know I'm supposed to. That attitude really should not be the case, right? Because truthfully speaking, when you think about your Lord, you should be thinking, "Precious Jesus who loves me." You know what else I wanna highlight for you?

I wanna highlight for you this, just one single word, "Om." And what you'll notice is that in the other passages in 1 Peter, in the passages of Titus, in the other passages that describes marriage, God expects the marriage to be intimate, one, united, exclusive, committed thing. It's supposed to be beautiful.

And you and your Lord are supposed to have that, right? You and your Lord are supposed to have such an exclusive, pure, undefiled relationship that your love can freely just flow. All the love you have in your heart, you could just give it without like, "Is he gonna take advantage of me?

Like, is he gonna essentially screw me over?" Like, that kind of fear is not there with Christ because we trust him. And the idea here is you need to be subject to your own husband, not to every man out there, not to all the dudes, it's to your own husbands as to the Lord.

And so this exercise of submission is in that context. And here's another observation. Notice how it says, "For the rationale is for the husband is the head." Okay? And so what you have there is that there is a design of God where he has instilled in the husband position and role a headship.

And what I'd like to highlight for you is this other passage in 1 Peter 2 that describes when we respect the design of God in hierarchy and authority, we are doing him honor. We're acting like honorable people. Check this out. Verse 16 of 1 Peter 2. "Act as free men and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bond slaves of God.

Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God and honor the King." You see that? It's like basically do what's right in the eyes of God. Respect what he's designed. Know how to behave like an individual who is in control and not just, you know, rebellious and doing whatever I want.

"Servants be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable, for this finds favor. If for the sake of conscience toward God, a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly." This is honorable. And notice this passage doesn't have anything about wives and husbands, but it has everything to do about all the other relationships in your life where authority and submission are exercised.

Okay? So I want you to think about this again, that the honoring of the design of God in the hierarchy is actually something pleasing in the eyes of God and not necessarily heinous and abhorrent or injustice. Now, there can be a counter argument here. And the counter argument, it could be, okay, I get that the design is supposed to be such a way, but my husband is not Jesus.

I still know I'm supposed to submit as unto Christ, as fitting as to Christ, but what if maybe you're not married and you're kind of worried, like what if he's so far from Jesus? Like he's not even a third of the man that Jesus was, or maybe you're thinking like, yeah, I wish I could, but he makes it hard.

I wonder if that could be a counter argument and I understand that part. And that leads me into the next point. Point number four, your willing submission is a powerful trust in Christ, a powerful, an amazing trust in Christ. And that is our faith, where we trust the sovereign power of God in Christ.

'Cause I get the argument that a man can be insensitive, thoughtless, and just kind of baffling in terms of the kind of harm and pain he could do because he's not thinking, or he could be unintentionally proud, sometimes angry and filled with all kinds of strange, but also perverse desires.

Why do I say that? Because if I look at myself, I have done all those things. Have I been insensitive, thoughtless, very careless and hurtful? The answer is yes. And I get the argument that he is not Jesus, and so this is difficult. Again, understood. However, notice that this passage, when it says be subject to your own husbands, it has no qualifier.

There is no, when he's really thinking of you and he acts like Jesus, there's no qualifier. What's more, please observe that the passage says that this is the way you ought to behave towards your husbands in everything. Well, the reason why I say there's no qualifier, because in everything has no qualifier.

What's more, the position for the lady I understand. Is a position of vulnerability. But likewise is our entire salvation. Likewise is so many other facets of our lives. So what am I saying here? Please understand that yes, this can be very difficult and I wonder sometimes, wow, the lady in the relationship has perhaps an even more difficult expectation from God than of the man.

Because she must then subject herself to this kind of powerful trust that God will take care of me. That obeying God is gonna be fruitful, even if that man's not fruitful. And who will honor me is my Lord. That's a powerful statement. And so when I look at this passage, and first Peter, remember I said I was gonna refer to it a lot, look at it, it says, in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.

And then he says, and as they observe your chast and respectful behavior, your adornment must not be merely external, braiding of hair, wearing of gold jewelry, or putting on dresses. But you know why he says that? It's because when it's not working, and you're not getting the respect, and you're not getting the kind of love, you could resort to manipulation.

You could resort to other means to make yourself more desirable to your husband. But rather than resorting to human wisdom, rather than resorting to your own flesh, what do these ladies do? They let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God.

For in this way, in former times, the holy women also, who did what? Who hoped in God. They didn't hope that, and again, he's gonna reference Sarah and stuff, they didn't hope that Abraham would come around. They didn't hope that Moses would be better. They didn't put their hope in themselves or in man they hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husband.

Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right, if you behave honorably without being frightened by any fear. So, truthfully speaking, when we see individuals who do not resort to their human flesh, bitterness, anger, retaliation, but rather entrust themselves over to God, we see an incredible power.

That's strength. And again, I wanna say, continuing on, this really is appropriate because in terms of that little statement earlier when I highlighted that he says he himself is the savior of the body, you see the reflection of what's happening here. You see the picture that's being painted. Jesus, man, Jesus is the savior of the church.

Jesus is the head of the church. The position and the role-playing that is happening is reflective of the vulnerability and the dependency that every human being has, but God wants the woman to exhibit it as a model. And so I go to my last point, which is, your willing submission is a beautiful reflection of the gospel, okay?

It's a beautiful reflection of the gospel. Why? Apostle Paul straight up says, verse 32, "This mystery is great, but I am speaking "with reference to Christ and the church." The rationale given is not so much the rationale, like, guys, this is gonna work out, and then next thing you know, you're just gonna have better children.

You're like, children are gonna be raised in a better home, and it's gonna be great for the, you know, he says, "This is picturing something "of incredible magnitude, which is our salvation." The gospel is so important. I have now used your role as wife to picture it. The gospel is so important.

I have used the role of the husband to picture it, and therefore, we must reflect the relationship between the Savior and his people. That's what he's saying. When we recognize the headship role, and we are responding, this volitional act of submission is a beautiful reflection of the gospel, and that's why earlier I said, don't think in your mind that when the scripture challenges you to submit to your husband's ask to the Lord, don't think, I'm just submitting to my boss.

Don't do it. You know why? Because that is super duper shy of what God is trying to picture. Don't think like, okay, I'm just gonna do what he says, and just whatever, and I'll do it, like he's my commanding officer. Don't do that. Please don't do that, because that picture of you thinking that you're in the military is super duper shy of the grand picture that he has of the Savior and the church.

That makes sense, right? And I wanna put it to you in another way. When you think about the response, verse 24, observe, is a model for us, and that model is the attitude. The model is the manner by which we're responding to Christ. We, the church, we're responding to Christ, and you, the wives, the ladies, are responding to that.

You're picturing it, okay? So I want you to think about that. This is a strange way to say it, but have you ever thought about submission, not as like, you know what, I'm gonna do what I don't wanna do. That is a very simplistic definition of what submission is.

You have a will, he has a will, and you say, not mine, but yours. I gave it to you earlier, it makes sense, that is a definition. However, when you conceive of submission, have you thought of it like that package of the submission, the submissive heart? This is my gift to you in love, right?

Have you ever thought about it that way? It was just Father's Day, and you know, there's those commercials where it's like, this Christmas, or this Mother's Day, this Father's Day, give the gift of love, and then it's like, earrings, right? It's a new watch, it's a fishing pole, right?

Have you ever thought about, okay, don't get offended, as I said, it's like, this Father's Day, give the gift of submission, right? If you thought about it that way, it'd be kinda weird, but have you ever thought about submission as not just this, like, I'm gonna grind my teeth and just do it, okay, if you need to do that, it's better than nothing, but have you thought about it even better than that, which is, you know what, I'm going to love by giving the submission to you, willingly and freely, why?

Why? Because that submission is the picture of grace received, grace giving. Grace received from God, I can give grace blessings to the Lord, bless the Lord who has blessed us, and then we bless everybody else, and we love, and because we've been blessed so richly and we're overflowing, you can love and you can love, like, vertical and then horizontally, you can do that because of what Christ has done for you, and that, to us, is the picture that our hearts have been changed, because the picture that God has given to us is not a picture where he says, first and foremost, husbands, make sure you subject your wives in submission to you because you're the man.

That's not what it said, because that would not be a picture of Christ's first advent. That's not the picture of the gospel. He did not come to be served, but to serve. If that were the picture of the gospel, where the husband subjects the wife into obedience, that would be his second coming.

That would be his return when there is no room for mercies, but rather, he is going to make sure every knee bows, right? The picture of his first coming is he has given grace, and we freely say, to you, Lord, not my way, but yours, I love you. I will gladly say I wanna support you.

I'll be about your business. You take the lead, right? And God wanted a picture of this in our marriages. To some, they might think, that's not fair, but rather than thinking about this with fairness, because remember, you tried to stick fairness into the gospel, and it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, right?

This is God designed to picture this free giving of love in an incredible relationship where in the context of the relationship, authority, submission, and love all work together. And so, I want to remind you that not only is the relationship between husband and wife a picture of holiness and a picture of purity, it's a picture of salvific truth, and the relationship between Christ the Savior and his church.

What an incredible responsibility we have, right? And what I wanna say is by way of conclusion, I think about this passage, and I'm like, wow, the way that God is in his wisdom working things is crazy, because when you look at the role of the husband, the husband has all these responsibilities, and I've always thought like, you know what, look at this.

The husband role has like a bunch of verses, right? It's got eight verses. The wife's role has three, so, you know, more responsibility and burden on the man. But when you think about it, what is God trying to do in terms of a goal for the wife? When you read this, it says, husband, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that, there's like a purpose statement there, he might sanctify her.

So God's intention for the wife in this relationship is to sanctify her, having cleansed her, washed her by the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot, no wrinkle, but that she would be holy and blameless, so the husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.

You're like ladies who are feminists, and are like, no, I will not be subject to anybody, right? Like, it's just a wrong, wrong worldview, why? Because what God wants to do is subject the church to his holy love, subject the church to his lavishing grace, his sanctifying intent, and his desire to present the church in all her glory, because she's embedded into her his glory.

And then here she is thinking, no, I'll be subjected to nobody, right? Like, what is that? We can't be thinking like that. The way it's supposed to work is this relationship is supposed to show the incredible love of God that is radically changing us to be holy and pure.

And so in this way, when the husband actually has that desire and is thinking like God and saying, I'm going to love you with all that I am to the degree that loving you is loving me, right? And when they do this for each other, they become one in such a God-honoring way.

And so let's commit ourselves to not take the world's thoughts of what is fair, what is right in the home, but to see God's intention and purpose in his beautiful design. Let's take a moment to pray. Heavenly Father, we recognize God that you are God all wise and all true.

And Lord, you have called us to know your wisdom, to hear it and to walk in it. And I pray, Father God, that we will apply it in the places where it exhibits itself the most, which is where we live the most of our lives in our homes. And I pray that our church, God, we will recognize, Lord, we have to be the ones that recognize, Lord, we have to rise to the call to build godly families that are founded on your love and truth.

And I pray, Father God, that we will jettison and forsake any selfish ambition, all pride that gets in the way, all attempts at self-preservation, and we would follow after the example of Christ, such selfless sacrifice. And I pray, Father God, that when we do that, we would reap the fruits, we would have the joy of building and establishing the kind of family that you desire.

And God, then we would have the clarity of mind and conscience to know we are pleasing you and we're following after your footsteps. We thank you, it's in Christ's name we pray, amen.