back to indexEphesians Bible Study Lesson 20
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Today, we're gonna be talking about some practical matters 00:00:17.120 |
Let's take a moment to pray before we jump into the study. 00:00:34.200 |
And what's more, help us to have courage and strength. 00:00:37.120 |
And Father God, help us to also think biblically, 00:00:40.160 |
to see, Father Lord, that this fruit of obedience to you 00:00:43.880 |
far exceeds any kind of fruit this world has to offer. 00:00:47.840 |
We thank you, Lord, and pray for a fruitful time of study. 00:00:52.640 |
Okay, today we're looking at Ephesians chapter five, 00:01:04.200 |
So let's take a moment to read this together. 00:01:11.720 |
"And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 00:01:15.400 |
"Wise, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:01:42.120 |
"having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 00:01:54.340 |
"So husbands ought also to love their own wives 00:02:11.040 |
"For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother 00:02:19.220 |
"but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 00:02:24.760 |
"also is to love his own wife, even as himself, 00:02:28.500 |
"and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." 00:02:32.600 |
Now, by way of just review in that previous paragraph, 00:02:41.360 |
was to walk carefully and to walk in wisdom, okay? 00:02:53.040 |
"Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." 00:02:58.040 |
So if you link the two ideas, it is a wisdom of God. 00:03:02.760 |
It reflects our wisdom to be able to think like Christ, 00:03:09.840 |
to be able to subject ourselves to one another. 00:03:14.700 |
it totally makes sense that within the gospel 00:03:29.080 |
where we are willing to reduce or to put down 00:03:47.860 |
Well, if you think about it, obviously in the military, 00:03:50.140 |
clear ranking order, in government, it's your workplace. 00:04:00.480 |
What's more, even in communities, in society, 00:04:08.260 |
one might think you're supposed to be completely equal. 00:04:10.820 |
Well, actually, if you look at most friendships, 00:04:13.540 |
a lot of friendships end up looking like siblings, 00:04:33.980 |
there are things like dance classes and you have instructors 00:04:38.060 |
and when you think about which classes are the best, 00:04:43.540 |
are the classes where the instructors are good, 00:04:48.580 |
the individual who's guiding, when that person is capable, 00:04:56.080 |
is able to direct for the purpose of you learning, 00:05:13.260 |
like if you think about how to conduct oneself 00:05:15.940 |
in the household of God, in the book of Titus, 00:05:34.820 |
what sounds like almost a bad word, hierarchy. 00:05:37.620 |
And we realize that no, that's not a bad term, 00:05:42.940 |
but actually embedded into the design of God, 00:06:03.220 |
It ruins the relationships amongst teachers and students 00:06:07.660 |
in the home between husband and wife, parent and child. 00:06:13.460 |
Sin takes something that's good, like authority, 00:06:16.700 |
where you need authority in order to make sure 00:06:21.260 |
to guide and to protect sometimes even from oneself. 00:06:25.660 |
But then that authority is perverted to selfishness, 00:06:33.200 |
Sometimes our sins causes these relationships 00:06:37.060 |
to be completely loveless and authority is practiced 00:06:40.180 |
where we essentially simply subjecting people 00:06:42.260 |
without any care or consideration of the individuals. 00:06:47.140 |
So we realize again, that a massive hindrance 00:07:09.980 |
Satan desires to essentially tell us otherwise, 00:07:14.860 |
that no, the design of God is actually unholy. 00:07:28.600 |
That I believe is the kind of thought and concepts 00:07:36.100 |
But rather we want to make sure that we abide 00:07:41.220 |
That the home is a place where God has designed 00:07:48.220 |
That there are supposed to be great levels of joy, 00:07:51.540 |
family unity, things like trust, intimacy and harmony 00:07:58.940 |
But all of that comes with great responsibility 00:08:04.700 |
All that comes from deep commitment and high risk. 00:08:12.140 |
that the context by we're supposed to be practicing 00:08:15.220 |
these things is in the context of God's design. 00:08:18.700 |
And so if there is an area where in connection 00:08:22.540 |
with the previous passage in the previous paragraph, 00:08:25.580 |
the connection in the previous paragraph said walk wisely, 00:08:31.880 |
to know the instruction of God and walk wisely in the home. 00:08:35.480 |
And I'm very much convicted by that just from the get-go. 00:08:38.400 |
Because truthfully speaking, what is sometimes very common 00:08:44.400 |
is that in the home, we're actually the most careless. 00:08:48.260 |
Typically in the home, we're very careless with our words. 00:08:51.440 |
And scripture actually predicted this by saying, 00:08:53.880 |
where there is familiarity, there's contempt. 00:08:57.840 |
And even with Jesus, when he was in his hometown, he said, 00:09:00.560 |
"The prophet has no welcome in his hometown." 00:09:02.840 |
Because they just assumed, "We know this person. 00:09:09.520 |
But if you think about it actually, God says, 00:09:25.400 |
is actually the context of the commands that are to come. 00:09:30.200 |
Well, I would like to have you think about the idea 00:09:33.480 |
of the commandment then, the commandment now, 00:09:43.180 |
Because we understand actually that these commands 00:09:50.760 |
this was given at a time when the sentiment towards women 00:09:58.080 |
Rather than seeing women as a fellow image bearer, 00:10:04.320 |
that we are both heirs of Christ if we're Christian. 00:10:06.960 |
Within the era, there was so much abuse and neglect. 00:10:12.840 |
What's more specifically to the Church of Ephesus, 00:10:16.320 |
whether it was the Turkish area or the Greek area 00:10:30.320 |
and there was so much oppression towards those who were weak. 00:10:38.080 |
And I'll just briefly mention that at that time, 00:10:40.640 |
there was such a practice where essentially people would pray 00:10:44.560 |
and thank the gods that they were not slaves or women. 00:10:52.960 |
such as the practice of having many concubines 00:11:10.840 |
It was no pain to them to just have them around. 00:11:14.440 |
Their wives were simply there to bear legitimate children 00:11:20.640 |
And so when males, when the men felt the need 00:11:24.320 |
for sexual gratification, they would turn to prostitution. 00:11:29.960 |
and all kinds of immorality were rampant in the day. 00:11:50.760 |
This command applies then and this command applies now. 00:11:54.940 |
Perhaps we may feel that now it's controversial 00:12:03.800 |
They're protected by the law and successful economically. 00:12:12.700 |
Actually, I would argue that that commandment 00:12:15.860 |
probably was harder to swallow at that time than now. 00:12:23.340 |
What's really interesting is throughout time, 00:12:34.780 |
He wanted marriages to be Christ-like and holy and godly. 00:12:43.980 |
for children of light to behave like children of light, 00:12:52.900 |
to be holy and permanent, like his own character and love. 00:12:57.820 |
God's desire that marriage look radically different 00:13:03.180 |
And so what's really interesting is that in God's design, 00:13:06.820 |
the concepts of love, authority, submission has no conflict. 00:13:26.180 |
the kind of love marriage relationship that God has designed 00:13:30.540 |
where there is supposed to be such a humility, 00:13:32.780 |
such a Christ-likeness, such a selfless purpose 00:13:43.140 |
And so I'll take a moment to give one of those quick advice, 00:13:49.340 |
especially right now, if you're single, please listen up. 00:13:52.860 |
This design of God where love, authority, and submission 00:14:02.700 |
we're saying this is only possible in Christ. 00:14:08.900 |
and getting involved in a romantic relationship, 00:14:11.980 |
do not settle for somebody who is just Christian by name. 00:14:16.900 |
Because the kind of love that is beautiful, holy, 00:14:28.220 |
you will cause yourself to not only be vulnerable, 00:14:34.500 |
I want to advise you, make sure he understands 00:14:40.100 |
that he has beheld the holy, holy love of God 00:14:47.980 |
and he is just genuinely broken by the mercies of God. 00:14:56.180 |
the guy who's seen the incredible love of God. 00:15:02.780 |
In this passage, we see the clear command to the wives, 00:15:07.260 |
Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:15:15.060 |
but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 00:15:19.820 |
also is to love his own wife, even as himself, 00:15:22.740 |
and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. 00:15:28.020 |
the two commands that is given within this paragraph, 00:15:33.020 |
And the two commandments are that you be subject 00:15:42.220 |
Giving you a little bit of an outline of the passage, 00:15:49.740 |
and then the rest of the section that we're looking at 00:16:16.460 |
is a connection to the previous command in verse 21 00:16:20.260 |
that says be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 00:16:38.140 |
And because it is used frequently in the military context, 00:16:46.780 |
And I just like to put it into simplistic terms. 00:16:49.300 |
I mean, we could sit and think deeply and meditate 00:17:02.900 |
And so that, in terms of a kind of simplistic definition, 00:17:08.460 |
Also, in tandem with that, the passage says to respect. 00:17:13.260 |
And the concept of respect is the word phobia, right? 00:17:18.260 |
Which where we get that, like the Latin terms 00:17:20.780 |
and the English word phobia, which means to fear. 00:17:23.900 |
The most frequent or most commonly used translation 00:17:27.420 |
of this term is fear, but in context of certain things 00:17:32.860 |
we get the ideas of reverence, respect, and honor, okay? 00:17:44.700 |
This passage says, "Wives, be subject to your husbands 00:17:53.940 |
Here's another passage that I'm gonna refer to 00:17:55.780 |
a couple times, so I'm gonna read it for you here, 00:18:05.720 |
"so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, 00:18:13.060 |
"as they observe your chast and respectful behavior. 00:18:23.100 |
"but let it be the hidden person of the heart, 00:18:39.360 |
"just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. 00:19:01.080 |
and more importantly, in the 1 Peter passage, 00:19:03.280 |
it talks about how there's this respectful behavior 00:19:14.360 |
and it's the relationship that I have with our elders, 00:19:23.080 |
Did you know that our friendship has gone now 20 years? 00:19:28.400 |
He met me when I was a wee little 18-year-old. 00:19:31.360 |
James actually was to me in college an older brother, 00:19:40.440 |
He actually helped me sign up for my classes. 00:19:46.040 |
who didn't get into the school that he wanted to, 00:19:48.440 |
and I was procrastinating signing up for classes, 00:19:52.760 |
He also helped me and showed me the ropes around the school, 00:19:59.120 |
'cause I was essentially a recent convert, so to speak, 00:20:07.600 |
Being an old brother, I would crash at his house, 00:20:09.840 |
he would let me just use his stuff, all that kind of thing. 00:20:18.720 |
But the cool thing is his love for me as a brother 00:20:25.360 |
he immediately just started to call me Pastor Mark. 00:20:28.440 |
I mean, think about how awkward that can be, you know? 00:20:30.800 |
I never asked him to call me Pastor Mark, he just said it. 00:20:39.440 |
which essentially in terms of authority at the church, 00:20:50.000 |
in the daily operations of what the church is going to do. 00:21:06.360 |
is in the context of best interest for the church, 00:21:14.920 |
and sometimes a lot of people are like, "Whoa." 00:21:22.120 |
and I would gladly do it because if you told me, 00:21:25.760 |
I'm not gonna sit here and be like, "Say what?" 00:21:27.880 |
Right, I would sit there and be like, "Gladly." 00:21:30.920 |
"Elders, you tell me what you would like to have done, 00:21:42.160 |
That submission and respect happens in the context 00:22:06.920 |
"Well, what about this time when authority was abused? 00:22:13.080 |
"and it's gonna be dangerous for everybody, right?" 00:22:20.800 |
So let me just make a quick, quick hermeneutical note, 00:22:30.480 |
what does this passage specifically say in command? 00:22:42.080 |
in terms of both action and attitude towards her husband. 00:22:45.520 |
And that's what you call the biblical theology 00:22:52.880 |
Next, in order to try to understand the concept, 00:22:57.760 |
where we compare to all the other references in the Bible, 00:23:02.800 |
we're still just comparing passage to passage. 00:23:10.600 |
And how all the other passages contribute to this idea? 00:23:56.680 |
So part of the reason why I think there can be a problem 00:24:07.520 |
Verse 22 to 24, it's just a couple of verses, right? 00:24:14.960 |
that wise we should be subject to your own husbands 00:24:25.840 |
And you kind of noticed that that's what I started to do. 00:24:31.560 |
It does not say, husbands do whatever you want 00:24:42.440 |
I want you to be subject to your own husbands 00:24:52.360 |
and nobody I think thinks that this passage means 00:24:54.720 |
that all of a sudden you become so subservient 00:24:57.360 |
to your husband that you are like a child to him 00:25:01.840 |
No, your relationship and husband and wife, one. 00:25:31.320 |
And then you have to do the work of thinking through 00:25:38.640 |
One, your willing submission to your husband as a wife 00:25:48.800 |
It says, "Wise, be subject to your own husband's 00:26:05.040 |
then now all of a sudden it's like a question. 00:26:07.280 |
It's like, what did you think about the Lord? 00:26:13.560 |
Because some people are like, "Lord," you know? 00:26:20.280 |
And so if you felt like Lord meant that guy over there 00:26:24.040 |
who, yes, I'm supposed to submit to and love, 00:26:29.000 |
but him just being there just makes me feel guilty 00:26:34.560 |
Then yeah, you're gonna feel the exact same way 00:26:40.920 |
That attitude really should not be the case, right? 00:26:48.680 |
you should be thinking, "Precious Jesus who loves me." 00:26:51.680 |
You know what else I wanna highlight for you? 00:26:58.200 |
And what you'll notice is that in the other passages 00:27:03.640 |
in the other passages that describes marriage, 00:27:15.040 |
And you and your Lord are supposed to have that, right? 00:27:18.800 |
You and your Lord are supposed to have such an exclusive, 00:27:34.360 |
Like, is he gonna essentially screw me over?" 00:27:36.720 |
Like, that kind of fear is not there with Christ 00:27:44.200 |
to your own husband, not to every man out there, 00:27:52.880 |
And so this exercise of submission is in that context. 00:28:02.120 |
"For the rationale is for the husband is the head." 00:28:06.960 |
And so what you have there is that there is a design of God 00:28:10.800 |
where he has instilled in the husband position 00:28:20.400 |
that describes when we respect the design of God 00:28:23.840 |
in hierarchy and authority, we are doing him honor. 00:28:46.040 |
It's like basically do what's right in the eyes of God. 00:28:51.400 |
Know how to behave like an individual who is in control 00:28:58.000 |
"Servants be submissive to your masters with all respect, 00:29:09.040 |
a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly." 00:29:15.560 |
And notice this passage doesn't have anything 00:29:19.840 |
about all the other relationships in your life 00:29:23.080 |
where authority and submission are exercised. 00:29:30.480 |
that the honoring of the design of God in the hierarchy 00:29:35.360 |
is actually something pleasing in the eyes of God 00:29:38.320 |
and not necessarily heinous and abhorrent or injustice. 00:29:48.720 |
okay, I get that the design is supposed to be such a way, 00:29:57.200 |
I still know I'm supposed to submit as unto Christ, 00:30:09.400 |
Like he's not even a third of the man that Jesus was, 00:30:25.360 |
your willing submission is a powerful trust in Christ, 00:30:33.880 |
where we trust the sovereign power of God in Christ. 00:30:47.040 |
in terms of the kind of harm and pain he could do 00:30:54.200 |
sometimes angry and filled with all kinds of strange, 00:31:21.680 |
when it says be subject to your own husbands, 00:31:27.120 |
There is no, when he's really thinking of you 00:31:31.080 |
and he acts like Jesus, there's no qualifier. 00:31:34.280 |
What's more, please observe that the passage says 00:31:41.240 |
Well, the reason why I say there's no qualifier, 00:31:47.280 |
What's more, the position for the lady I understand. 00:31:58.160 |
Likewise is so many other facets of our lives. 00:32:03.440 |
Please understand that yes, this can be very difficult 00:32:08.440 |
and I wonder sometimes, wow, the lady in the relationship 00:32:13.360 |
has perhaps an even more difficult expectation from God 00:32:19.200 |
Because she must then subject herself to this kind 00:32:22.280 |
of powerful trust that God will take care of me. 00:32:40.280 |
and first Peter, remember I said I was gonna refer 00:32:46.120 |
to your own husbands so that even if any of them 00:32:52.680 |
without a word by the behavior of their wives. 00:32:55.880 |
And then he says, and as they observe your chast 00:32:58.960 |
and respectful behavior, your adornment must not be 00:33:01.720 |
merely external, braiding of hair, wearing of gold jewelry, 00:33:16.040 |
You could resort to other means to make yourself 00:33:26.680 |
They let it be the hidden person of the heart 00:33:32.400 |
and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. 00:33:47.440 |
they didn't hope that Abraham would come around. 00:33:54.240 |
or in man they hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, 00:34:00.280 |
Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, 00:34:02.960 |
and you have become her children if you do what is right, 00:34:06.720 |
if you behave honorably without being frightened 00:34:13.800 |
So, truthfully speaking, when we see individuals 00:34:46.640 |
you see the reflection of what's happening here. 00:34:53.160 |
Jesus, man, Jesus is the savior of the church. 00:35:00.400 |
The position and the role-playing that is happening 00:35:05.440 |
and the dependency that every human being has, 00:35:08.360 |
but God wants the woman to exhibit it as a model. 00:35:15.000 |
your willing submission is a beautiful reflection 00:35:33.480 |
The rationale given is not so much the rationale, 00:35:40.800 |
You're like, children are gonna be raised in a better home, 00:35:47.760 |
"of incredible magnitude, which is our salvation." 00:35:54.760 |
I have now used your role as wife to picture it. 00:36:02.760 |
I have used the role of the husband to picture it, 00:36:05.800 |
and therefore, we must reflect the relationship 00:36:17.840 |
and we are responding, this volitional act of submission 00:36:27.080 |
and that's why earlier I said, don't think in your mind 00:36:43.040 |
Don't think like, okay, I'm just gonna do what he says, 00:36:50.000 |
Please don't do that, because that picture of you 00:36:54.440 |
is super duper shy of the grand picture that he has 00:37:13.880 |
The model is the manner by which we're responding to Christ. 00:37:20.240 |
and you, the wives, the ladies, are responding to that. 00:37:39.800 |
That is a very simplistic definition of what submission is. 00:37:52.680 |
have you thought of it like that package of the submission, 00:38:08.980 |
where it's like, this Christmas, or this Mother's Day, 00:38:15.400 |
It's a new watch, it's a fishing pole, right? 00:38:17.880 |
Have you ever thought about, okay, don't get offended, 00:38:23.740 |
If you thought about it that way, it'd be kinda weird, 00:38:28.300 |
as not just this, like, I'm gonna grind my teeth 00:38:30.560 |
and just do it, okay, if you need to do that, 00:38:34.880 |
but have you thought about it even better than that, 00:38:51.860 |
Grace received from God, I can give grace blessings 00:38:56.700 |
to the Lord, bless the Lord who has blessed us, 00:38:59.100 |
and then we bless everybody else, and we love, 00:39:03.680 |
and we're overflowing, you can love and you can love, 00:39:09.220 |
you can do that because of what Christ has done for you, 00:39:19.040 |
is not a picture where he says, first and foremost, 00:39:30.360 |
because that would not be a picture of Christ's first advent. 00:39:42.640 |
where the husband subjects the wife into obedience, 00:39:47.960 |
That would be his return when there is no room for mercies, 00:39:52.400 |
but rather, he is going to make sure every knee bows, right? 00:39:59.120 |
The picture of his first coming is he has given grace, 00:40:18.000 |
And God wanted a picture of this in our marriages. 00:40:24.720 |
but rather than thinking about this with fairness, 00:40:27.400 |
because remember, you tried to stick fairness 00:40:30.360 |
into the gospel, and it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 00:40:34.420 |
This is God designed to picture this free giving of love 00:40:46.820 |
authority, submission, and love all work together. 00:40:50.460 |
And so, I want to remind you that not only is 00:40:55.280 |
the relationship between husband and wife a picture 00:41:04.840 |
and the relationship between Christ the Savior 00:41:08.800 |
What an incredible responsibility we have, right? 00:41:12.340 |
And what I wanna say is by way of conclusion, 00:41:16.360 |
I think about this passage, and I'm like, wow, 00:41:18.660 |
the way that God is in his wisdom working things is crazy, 00:41:23.040 |
because when you look at the role of the husband, 00:41:28.400 |
and I've always thought like, you know what, look at this. 00:41:31.080 |
The husband role has like a bunch of verses, right? 00:41:41.640 |
what is God trying to do in terms of a goal for the wife? 00:41:47.540 |
When you read this, it says, husband, love your wives, 00:41:51.840 |
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 00:41:54.720 |
so that, there's like a purpose statement there, 00:41:59.000 |
So God's intention for the wife in this relationship 00:42:04.940 |
washed her by the word, that he might present to himself 00:42:07.800 |
the church in all her glory, having no spot, no wrinkle, 00:42:14.960 |
so the husbands ought also to love their own wives 00:42:24.920 |
and are like, no, I will not be subject to anybody, right? 00:42:28.600 |
Like, it's just a wrong, wrong worldview, why? 00:42:31.520 |
Because what God wants to do is subject the church 00:42:45.280 |
and his desire to present the church in all her glory, 00:43:01.520 |
The way it's supposed to work is this relationship 00:43:04.880 |
is supposed to show the incredible love of God 00:43:08.720 |
that is radically changing us to be holy and pure. 00:43:14.000 |
And so in this way, when the husband actually has 00:43:17.040 |
that desire and is thinking like God and saying, 00:43:23.120 |
to the degree that loving you is loving me, right? 00:43:51.000 |
And Lord, you have called us to know your wisdom, 00:43:58.240 |
And I pray, Father God, that we will apply it 00:44:01.520 |
in the places where it exhibits itself the most, 00:44:05.520 |
which is where we live the most of our lives in our homes. 00:44:09.000 |
And I pray that our church, God, we will recognize, 00:44:13.280 |
that recognize, Lord, we have to rise to the call 00:44:22.880 |
And I pray, Father God, that we will jettison 00:44:34.800 |
and we would follow after the example of Christ, 00:44:40.580 |
And I pray, Father God, that when we do that, 00:44:45.820 |
we would have the joy of building and establishing 00:44:51.380 |
And God, then we would have the clarity of mind 00:44:59.100 |
We thank you, it's in Christ's name we pray, amen.