What's going on, fam? >> Hi. >> How are you guys? >> Good, good. >> Yeah, well, again, just thank you guys so much for the way you guys just made me feel welcome, family. I don't skip a beat coming here. I just don't. Every single time that I'm with you guys as a family, I just feel just that.

So it's been really good to see familiar faces and to meet new faces. I'm just really encouraged by what God is doing through this ministry, through you guys' families. So just keep pressing on, by the grace of God, he's doing some wonderful things along the way. Again, I'm gonna try not to, I always try to not be too long, but again, you guys are your namesake as Marines.

And so I really appreciate just the way you guys just engage, the way you guys engage. I see it, it encourages me as I'm preaching. And I came across something, and so I thought maybe I would kinda share it. So a little, I didn't anticipate doing this, so it's kind of a break from me just jumping into my message and my sermon.

But I just wanted to read this. It's an article that was on Desire to God that just came up. And it's an edition of Screwtape. Have you guys read the Screwtape letters? Maybe Screwtape, okay. And so this is a female demon, if you will. And this is just for my ladies, for the wives.

Maybe the Lord wants to say something through this, and I'm not really sure, but I'm just gonna read it. And the demon's name is Lilith. And the head female demon, her name is Duessa, she's writing a letter to this demon called Lilith. She says, it's lovely to hear from you, darling.

I'm very glad you wrote to me. Screwtape, poor thing, he does his best. But he doesn't understand the feminine perspective. Of course, that doesn't stop him from acting as if he knows everything. And I've told him once, and if I've told him a thousand times, I'm persuaded that we will fare much more comfortably if we keep this just between us girls.

My understanding is that you've been assigned several perplexing cases to handle simultaneously. You must be exhausted. Those ridiculous secretaries and headquarters have the least notion of how to manage job assignments. And I have no idea how they came to be allowed to run anything. I'm writing you today to discuss discontent.

Now, it doesn't matter what particular topic of discontent fascinates to. Just look for any little nook or cranny in their souls where you can insert the seed of discontent, making sure that they take root. With some women, it may be best to plant the seeds of discontent somewhere around the topic of their looks, their face, their weight, their figure.

If in the off chance that doesn't seem to take latch onto the topic, then of relationships. Discontent with the husband, discontent with the lack of a husband, discontent with the children, discontent with the lack of children. The seeds of discontent can grow in any kind of soil, which is what makes it so effective.

It can really be anything. Missed opportunities, wrong done to them in their past, failed ambitions. All of these are good options for where to start. The first step with each of you girls is to find just a cozy little something to make them unhappy and then tend it. Tending means that you need to keep them concentrated on the thing itself, while keeping them from noticing the state of their own soul.

Keep them looking at their husband's failings. He just doesn't seem to even care about my needs. And now their own heart. Keep them looking in the mirror, if you will. Obviously, this means that you need to keep away from the enemy's book. If it happens that you can't keep them from the book completely, you can effectively turn it to your advantage by simply making sure to keep all their thoughts focused on how their husband isn't living up to the instructions in the book.

They can serve your purpose very well. And it's not at all a bad thing if you can get them to talk about their discontent with their friends, provided, of course, that they are the right friends. You want to encourage friendships that will feed and pet the discontent, rather than uproot it.

Even prayer groups and mentorships are fabulous places for this to happen, if you manage it correctly. Once you have the discontent well-established and flourishing, you have a perfectly easy job ahead of you. You can take discontent any number of directions. And it only requires a little bit of creativity.

Think of discontent as a small spark. You just need to get it planted into a welcoming little pile of shavings somewhere, and soon enough, it spreads. Let's say you get one of your subjects solidly discontent with the state of her marriage. It will take a little effort on your part to direct her attention to other marriages that seem better than hers.

From there, you can easily fan it into full-blown envy of her friends or sister. And if you can't turn that into a ruined friendship, then I wash my hands of you. Lies, backbiting, cheating, refusals to forgive all are easily attainable once you have discontent well-established. One of my favorite places to go, however, is bitterness.

It's so deliciously long-term, and it's very gratifying to watch a subject get more and more shriveled with it. It lacks the spectacular showiness of adultery, of course, but it's often more rewarding in the long run. If you overplay your head and you steer your subject into something obvious like adultery, then it's all too easy for them to suddenly to repent.

And then all your hard work is undone. But bitterness? It achieves all the same results, but far more dependably. Make her discontent. Convince her that she's not worth anything. And then drive her into all kinds of self-destructive tendencies. Enslave her to beauty. Leave her discontent to hold the whip that makes her run.

And if you can drive her into a profound self-absorption and pride, then you will be able to sit back and feel satisfied with your work. The irony is that the suiting women never seem to notice that whether they obsess over their own beauty or intentionally harm themselves, it's all the same to us.

We win either way. As always, give my love to that old, busy body shmoo-tay, your affectionate auntie, Joessa. If that ministered to you, let it minister. Leave you women just feeling some measures of discontent. I just want you to be aware of that. It's going on in your own minds and your own hearts.

And maybe the devil may be trying to use some area of discontent in your life to come in and just create those shavings that build up until finally he just brings you to a place of utter bitterness. So I just thought I'd read that. Well, this is the final time, the final message.

We will be going through. We've talked about the word of God. And from the word of God, just talking about the whole idea of marriage in light of eternity. We talked about Ephesians chapter 5. And so my first sermon can be summed up like this. Marriage was never made to feel those voids and annoy.

It's not mainly for intimacy. Children are a way to avoid. Lonely nights with his shining armor, its meaning goes deeper into infinite water. A metaphor, a drama that's not known by many. And those who do, as the years grow hard, they lose their memory of the infinite picture displayed.

The greatest act of love that raised Jesus' bones up out of the grave to save his bride, the church in his way, that none of us could have imagined. Ever increasing joy in his presence forever is our mansion. And that's why God is giving you a union, life and breath, so you can breathe that picture into everything until your final breath.

So men, fight to play the role of Jesus and love, shove self out of the way so that we can see the gospel and living color on display. And ladies, fight to respect this man, no matter how far he falls short, that we might be able to see through your union what it looks like for the church of Christ on bended knee.

That's sermon number one. - Love. (audience laughing) - The second sermon, we talked about sex. That's it. (audience laughing) Next sermon. We did, I had some good conversation. I appreciated all the affirmations. It really felt like, again, I was kind of like, I don't know, but just as I've been hearing more feedback, God is doing some good things in that arena, and I'm so glad.

The other, the next one we talked about is just the role of friendship and how that really is what cultivates a happy marriage. And so now we're gonna talk about direction, decision-making in light of eternity when it comes to your marriage. Decision-making in light of eternity. I was in the car with my kids just probably a few weeks ago, and in the back, all of a sudden, I heard them discussing and asking, one of my kids, my daughter, asked the question, well, what's my sign?

I mean, there's some game she was playing on her phone, and well, the good pastor that I am, I started casting out all the demons in my car, and out of the demons, out of my daughter's iPod, and then I told them, never ever again ask nobody about your sign, and don't tell nobody your sign, 'cause that's just devil stuff.

We probably all in this room know our sign. Orlando Sayre, in his book, Big God, he writes that over 60% of people in the Western world read the horoscope. Women are three times more likely than men to consult their horoscope, and only half of those are young adults. Now, why is this?

Because we all wanna know, especially in life, what we're supposed to do in life-altering decisions. What is the best course, the most vital and vibrant decision that we can make? And many times, it's because we wanna avoid pain, suffering, or to maximize our happiness in some area of life.

Should I give more or save for eternity? Should we adopt a child? Should I pursue a different vocation? Should we homeschool? Should I pursue chemo or try an alternate alternative cancer treatment? Should we buy this home or a less expensive one? Is it time for me to put my elderly parents, perhaps, in a nursing home?

Should I go to the mission field? Should I separate from my spouse while we work on these painful issues? We all have decisions that we make on a daily basis, small and large. And we as Christians can almost have our own superstitious approaches to hearing the voice of God.

One thing we like to do as God, I need an answer here, so show me a sign. Back in the day, when I was, again, the '90s dad that I am, listened to hip hop, and one of the icons of hip hop vehicles was the acura. They call it the ac, and baseballs have got an ac and something with nicks on the back or something like that in the back of the day.

I didn't used to listen to baseball. (audience laughing) And so acuras were just these prized kind of things in the hip hop community. And so I was dating, I started to date a friend that I had known for years when I was little and we started dating. And when I called her, we kind of talked and said, "Let's meet up." And she drove up in an acura.

And I said, "Lord, that's a sign. (audience laughing) "This is the woman that you want me to marry." Well, praise the Lord that I did marry that woman. God had something much better for me. But we kind of can take those superstitious approaches to hearing the voice of God when it comes to decision making.

And Orlando Sayre, he gives some real characteristic ones that we use as Christians. One, the door. God opened the door. If it worked out easily, then we figure that it's the Lord. Another one that we use is the fleece. An attempt to basically ask God to kind of jump through some hoops like Gideon.

And that's held out as a positive model for decision making. Another one that we as Christians use is peace. Well, I just felt peace about it. I chose to look into some subjective kind of state of mind to reassure myself that the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing, even though it's unclear, it affirms it because, hey, I got peace.

And then we have the whole Russian roulette when it comes to Bible verses. We use that to justify a course of decision based on some verse that we kind of just planned, and there it is. Now, if we don't get any of these signs from these different things, then we end up kind of saying, well, I'm just waiting on the Lord.

That's the spiritual answer. I'm waiting on the Lord. I'm waiting on the Lord. So here's the danger in some of these approaches. And I'm not saying they're all entirely biblical, but the door. God does indeed close doors. Paul tried many times to go to Rome. He was prevented, it says in Romans 1, verse 13.

But he did not give up the first time because he didn't see the first time failure as a permanent no to a closed door. On the other hand, the earthquake in Philippi gave Paul a literal open door to escape from prison in Acts chapter 16. And he could have just stepped and walked out, but what did he do?

He didn't go through the open door. He stayed in that prison. And because he stayed in that prison, the guard and his entire family came to know the Lord. So it was actually the opening door that he should not have gone out of. What about the fleece? I'm not saying that God doesn't give us signs when it comes to decision making, that he might choose to order events and circumstances in such a way that we just know, man, this is the hand of God.

But seeking out a display like that is not the way the scripture advises for us when it comes to decision making. It's not the norm. We are not encouraged to actually imitate Gideon. In fact, Gideon had already heard from the Lord. And he demonstrated, actually, a lack of faith in God by saying, Lord, I'm going to put a fleece out.

So he's actually an example of what we should not do, not what we actually should do. And the scriptures do prohibit us from testing God, Matthew chapter 4, verse 7. What about peace? Peace. Man, I just need a piece of the Lord. I get that piece, and I know that's your answer, Lord.

But Jesus in Gethsemane, Matthew chapter 26, when he was in Gethsemane, the Bible says that he was sorrowful and troubled. And I bet you every single one of us in this room are glad that Jesus did look at God the Father and say, God, you know, I'm really lacking peace right now.

So that must be a sign from you that I should not be here. You see, we're glad that he stayed in that garden, because we now have eternal life in our souls because of his lack of peace. And what about the will of fortune approach to hearing from the Lord of God?

We just kind of shh. OK. Well, should you ever take your Bible and just flip it open just to get an answer? I don't think it's necessarily wrong if you want to flip your Bible open and hear what God has to say. But make sure you know what it means, first of all, in its context.

Because then you might come up with something like this. Judas went out and hanged himself. And then you might turn again, shh, bam. Luke chapter 10, verse 37, you go and do likewise. Oh, Lord, that was you. And what about waiting on the Lord? It's good sometimes to wait.

And I do it all the time. If there's a decision that we have discerned that should be made, but maybe the provision isn't there yet, then we need to wait and say, God, her provision is going to actually help us to know whether or not what we think you're doing is the right direction.

A provision that has come about is a different thing than just waiting. Because sometimes we wait out of fear. Sometimes we wait because we really know what God is saying, and we really don't want to move in the direction that He's calling us to, clearly. So here's the question.

How can you make marriage decisions in line of eternity? How can you make decisions for your marriage that reflect eternity? And I want to see two things. Where can the voice of God be found? Where do we hear the voice of the Lord? And then secondarily, how can you make marriage decisions in line of eternity?

So let's go before the Lord one more time and pray. God, first, I do bring before you again-- not sure if that will be leading with respect to just any discontent in the room. But God, I just pray, Lord, that you administer to those areas of discontent, if and where they exist.

Even for the men as well in this room, if they have spoken to them. And so God, I just pray that you bring a measure of contentment to those places. And apply, Lord God, your truth and your promises to those areas that where they're needed most. And now, God, we dive in, and I pray you help us to see once again what your word has to say.

And that we would make decisions based on what honors and glorifies you. God, help me to honor and glorify you through the preaching of your word, and to honor the text, Lord God, that you have given the divine inspired and irreverent word of God. Be with us, Lord. Holy Spirit, please come.

Open our eyes in Jesus' name. Amen. OK, question number one. Where can the voice of God be found? OK, now there's number one. I'm going to give you three. The most common voice, and they're all these, direction. This is simply what God does for us by giving us his word.

The commands, the teachings that are in the Bible, the revealed will of the living God. Things like do not steal, do not kill, love your enemies, be filled with the Holy Spirit, put on humility. That's direction, clear direction. That is the most common voice that God has given us to hear and to gain direction from.

Secondarily, the least common voice, declaration. Declaration. This is the least common means by which God leads us. He simply declares to us what we should do. For example, in the book of Acts with Philip, he said, "And an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip, saying, 'Arise, go to the south, to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza.'" God comes out and says, "This is what I want you to do.

This is where I want you to go." I'm not saying that does not happen, but that is the least common way that God gives us direction. And then, lastly, the third way that God speaks, the voice of God can be found is decree. Decree. In Acts chapter 4, this basically is God's sovereign decrees.

It's designs and circumstances that cannot be thwarted by any man, animal, challenge, issue, earthquake, nothing. Whatever God says will be, period. Acts chapter 4, verse 27 and 28. "Truly in this city they were gathered together against their holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place." Period.

That's the sovereign hand of the living God. Those are the three voices that we clearly see in the word of God. Now, the question becomes is, my second one, how can you make marriage in light of eternity? With those three voices, direction, declaration, decree. The primary way that we can see this can be found in Romans chapter 12.

So if you would, please turn with me to Romans chapter 12, starting in verse 2. Romans chapter 12, verse 2. It's a very familiar verse, but I think sometimes we know the-- we can pantace the beginning and then don't get to the very end of the verse, and we'll need to start by the same.

Verse 2. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed." Everybody say transformed. Transformed. Whenever I make you guys do that, it's because I want to highlight that. Whenever I've been doing that throughout the weekend, I want you to remember that word, transformed. "By the renewal of your mind." Everybody say renewal.

Renewal. "That by testing--" everybody say testing. Testing. It's clear. "You may discern--" everybody say discern. Discern. "What is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect?" I'm going to give you some steps then from what the word of God tells us with respect to how you can make decisions in light of eternity.

Step one, discerning. The primary way that you can identify what God is saying in a subjective area of your life when you're trying to make a decision is by discerning the voice of God, by the clear direction-- I used the word direction. That's the most common voice. By the clear direction of God in his word with the renewed mind of God.

Let me say it again. Say it again. The way that you most commonly hear the voice of God is you discern the voice of God by testing the clear direction of God in his word with a renewed mind of God. Let me say it a couple other ways. The primary way that we hear his voice of direction is with a renewed mind that is so shaped and governed by the revealed will of God in the Bible that we can see and assess all the relevant factors that are involved in a particular situation and decision, and we can discern what God is calling us to do, because we're so familiar with the revealed will of God.

When it comes to, for example, you as parents, and even you that aren't parents that will be parents, when it comes to schooling, here's the revealed will of God that drove us as parents when our kids were little all the way up to now. Deuteronomy chapter 6. In these words, I command you today that they shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. That's the revealed will of God. And it's using that, discerning it, and then looking at the subjective areas-- your own personal situation, your marriage, the schooling, the education system, all these other different things-- to discern how you can be obedient to that.

Another one. My mother. Years ago, probably about 10 years-- probably 13 years ago, my father was in the military. And for the first time, he was overseas. And he was in Iraq for an entire year. And so what helped me to discern the voice of God-- this is a big decision here.

My dad's going to be gone. My mom's going to be by herself. The scriptures say this. Honor your father in what? Mother. That actual passage was spoken by Moses to people who were our age. You realize that? It wasn't spoken to children. You look at the Old Testament. It was spoken to those that were in their 30s and 40s that had older parents, and what did it look like for them in their older age to honor them.

So I used that to drive discernment. Should my wife work or stay at home? God's word is not silent when it comes to the priority of you as women. In particular, you were made to be one helpers. We saw that in Genesis. Coworkers, partnering together. Next, home is your priority.

Titus chapter 2, verse 5. Home is your priority. And your home should be a place of industry, hospitality, and respite. That's your role as a wife, Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. So see, what I'm doing here is I'm taking the revealed will of God, and I'm going to then begin to apply within the aspects of subjectivity and decision making what it is that God would have me to do.

Now, before I begin to get into a little more detail, I want you to consider this with this Romans 12, 2 passage. This is key. Why does God make us go through the process of discerning his voice? God is God. I could say, Lord, do you really want me to do A or B?

And he could just break out of the head and be like, oh. Like, OK, cool. Lord, that's what you want me to do. But how many of you have had that experience on a regular basis? OK. How many of you have ever had that experience? But you could have.

Maybe the Lord spoke something to you. OK. So this is what I began to ask myself. Why does he say here in Romans chapter 12, "Transformed by the will of your mind, that you by testing may discern what is the will of God." Why does he leave it on discerning the will of God?

And here's what I'm going to say, and then I'm going to kind of break this down. The discipline of discernment reveals the heart's affections. Discernment gives us space to hear the competing voices that are directing us in our decision making. I'm going to say it another way. Discernment, having to discern and test, it reveals where the heart and the mind have yet to be renewed.

It says here, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern." I'll give an example. My daughter, Trinity, our third one, she went to ninth grade. She's in ninth grade, and she was in a public school.

We put her in public school for the first time in her education. And she went through pretty much OK, but there were some things that were present that we just kind of said, man, it just feels like she's kind of not flourishing in that environment. There seem to be so many things that are coming against her with a secular agenda that all she feels in that context is she's fighting.

She's arguing because of the secularism that's just present, with all of the gender issues, with all the homosexuality, the transgender, the being tolerant, and relativism, and you can't believe the gays are this, and what's wrong with you. So she's just like, boom. And I remember a situation that just broke my heart, with my baby girl.

We were in the living room, and she was on her phone with some friends, and they were kind of texting back and forth. And something on the TV happened with the whole gender issue. And so she just kind of said God's view. She said, man, this is what the Lord says.

And for you, and I think we're claiming to be Christians, for you as a Christian to say that God is OK with you being gay, and that's not sin, and that's wrong. And they just attacked her. They just attacked her. She just walked away from that, just weeping. She was just so broken because of that.

And so my wife and I, throughout the year, just said, man, it just feels like she's going through so much, and there isn't much. And she just felt kind of lifeless. And as we were battling on whether or not to keep her in that context, here's where the heart began to come out in us.

The school where she was going is a very good school from a moral perspective. And the sense that if she were to graduate from here, she could get into some of the dopest colleges, have some of the greatest connections, have her potential realized, if you will, here on Earth in such a way that she could be in some very influential places.

And so as we began to talk about this, my wife and I, we began talking, and we found that our conversation was going toward, man, if we take her out of this school, she might miss an opportunity. I mean, people at this school are going to Ivy Leagues, and we want her to be up there.

And she might end up going to a Cal State if we leave her. And you know, Cal States can't be presidents. I mean, you don't go get a president out of a Cal State. Anybody that's a Cal State, I ain't got no-- all right, I went to Biola. So ain't nobody ever heard of Biola, practically, but probably young.

But you know, so you know, Cal States. But as we were talking about discern, you see how we're trying to discern? God, should we take her out, or should we not? What began to rise is our hearts' affections. Ooh, we're seeing some things here that aren't in line with God's heart.

Should those reasons be the reasons why we should keep her in that school, just because we want her to be successful here on Earth, and have a good job, and have influence, and have-- is that what should be driving our motivations? Ah. And so see, discernment, God didn't tell us, yeah, I want her to go to this school.

Because if God had told us, yeah, I want her to go to this school as opposed to this school, I never would have seen what? The heart. Even down to the little things. Like me, I like working out and going to the gym. OK? And I don't pray, God, should I go to the gym or not.

Like, Lord, can you direct me right now? OK? It would be kind of weird if I did that. But on Monday mornings, those are my days off. Pastor's Day, that's Mondays. We cherish our Mondays. And I'm just having to make a decision whether or not to go to the gym or not.

Well, why am I kind of considering thinking about that? Because my wife has a full-time, full-time, full-time job. And she's really tired. And she's really broke down. And I know that if I go out of this door, she's going to end up having to carry everything with respect to the kids, because it's summertime.

And everybody's in the household. And then I will be gone, and she's going to be like, dude, where you at? You left me here with the whole crew, and you're out here doing your thing. What am I dealing with when I walk out of that door, and I'm like, man, I don't care.

I'm out of here. What is that revealing in that little decision that I made? Some selfishness, right? A lack of sacrificial love that I'm called to as a husband. So even in that little decision, what the Holy Spirit of God, in that moment, was giving me an opportunity was, I need you to hear my voice, son, and learn how to discern it.

You're about to walk out of this door. Your wife is in a bad place. I've called you by the grace of God to be sacrificial in your love toward her. So what's the decision, Ray, that you know I want you to make? Lord, I know what you want me to make.

You want me to stay home. That's what you want me to do. You want me to sacrifice this time and stay home. You see, when you're dealing with decisions, those are the kind of things that God is trying to reveal, ultimately. What's at the bottom of your affections? Should I take this promotion, for example, and then say you have a promotion opportunity?

And that promotion opportunity will not allow for you maybe to spend as much time with your family as you should, as much time with the Lord as you should. It will distance you from church. And it will allow maybe even because you've got to travel, maybe you're dealing with certain temptations that you should.

And then if you say, man, the boss just gave me a promotion. I'm going to pray about this. God, I want to know if you really want me to take on this promotion. And if my boss walks through that door right now as I'm praying for this, then I know that's a sign and I'm going to take the promotion.

All of a sudden, you open your eyeballs and the boss comes in and says, hey, Johnny, how you doing? I just wanted you to know, man, we were really looking forward to you taking on that promotion. He said, that's the Lord. That's the Lord. If you then go forward with that and say, you know what?

I'm going to use that as a sign, and I'm going to move forward with this, wouldn't that just reveal about your heart? Maybe God isn't as important as you say He is. Maybe you have misplaced the priorities of family. Maybe you're having some issues with respect to pride and attaining a certain value in reaching a certain high level.

You see, what does it ultimately reveal? God's silence in the midst of all of this in the midst of our decision making causes us to hear our own hearts' affections. God's silence allows for the voice of your heart and what you treasure to sing in the process of decision making.

One writer wrote this, God knows that if He made His will for us more specific in decision making, more explicit, more often, we would tend to focus more on what we do rather than what we love. Did you hear that? Like the Pharisees, we would tend to focus on more of our actions rather than our affections.

When we're not quite sure about a decision, we end up making decisions based on what we love. End quote. As German evangelist George Mueller said, "Ninetenths the difficulties are overcome when your hearts are ready to do the Lord's will. Whatever it may be, when one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way into the knowledge of what His will truly is." You see, that's why God makes us wrestle.

That's why we don't hear. That's why that's the most common voice, one of the reasons why declaration, you don't hear that much. Decree, you don't hear that much. Direction is His most common. Because as we wrestle, God uses that to help us to see our hearts and then renew our hearts.

Here's the mild application, marriage and life eternity. I want you to look at your present decisions, the decisions that you've made even now, that you're living out. And maybe there are some decisions in front of some of you guys that you have to make in the near future. I want you to ask yourself, what are those things revealing about your affections?

Take time to pause, stop, and examine your decisions. Look at them and ask yourself, what is that saying about where my heart is? I'll give some examples. What is your heart saying about your career choice? Matthew chapter 6, verse 33, Jesus says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." I'm going to ask you a question.

Have you chosen your career? Have you chosen your job? Is it driven by that? Or has your decision for your career, or the job that you're in, or the emphasis that you're putting on it, revealing something else? There's a couple at our church, a couple of doctors. And I think I was preaching, and I said one time in a sermon, the fact that if you have a job where you can't come on a regular and be in church community, then you need a different job.

They came to me, and they said, you know, Pastor Rick, I heard that, and that hurt. That hurt. But we know that's Word. That's the Word of God right there. Forsake not the assembly of the saints. The church is the bride of Christ, and that needs to be a priority for us.

And so as doctors, our schedules are crazy. But me and my wife sat down, and we said, you know what? If we have to lose income, if I have to do some other area of medicine, if we have to maybe move or change facilities, then we need to be open to do that.

But right now, we're not at church on a regular like we should be. We're not in the community, in the body of Christ like we've been called to be. And so we're going to pray about this. We know what His Word is. We're going to ask God to maybe shift some things.

But if He doesn't on this date, we're changing everything, and we're cutting it all out. I just loved that they were willing to do that. And by the grace of God, God fashioned it in a way where all of a sudden, one of the bosses came in and said, you know what?

We're going to change your schedule. We're going to allow you to work here instead of here. And he said, that just opened everything up for us. And God was faithful, and He was gracious. Is your present career enhancing your relationship with God? Is it enhancing your ability to live out your calling to your spouse, your family?

You didn't get married to not be around. Is your career hindering your responsibility and your calling to be a part of the body of Christ? And as I'm challenging you on that, how does that make you feel? How does it make you feel that maybe God is saying, ah, maybe you need to take that out?

This is standing in the way of what is the clear, revealed word of God. What about a common purpose? What about a common purpose? Are your lives-- right now, this is all hard stuff that I want you to start examining. Are your lives set up for the Genesis calling that you've been called to as a couple, the helper companion?

What do you do together as a family, as couples, that focuses on the fulfillment of that one aim, to spread the image of God through your relationship to the world? Can you guys look at each other and say, with our collective giftings and our personalities, we've come together, and we are fighting to actually live in the way God has called us to live, because He's brought us together.

You see, there's a specific kind of calling with respect to the giftings, talents, experiences, and abilities that God has brought the two of you together that He wants you to live out. Are you living a common purpose? Or are you guys living segmented lives? I know a lot of couples.

And I tell-- when I counsel couples, when I counsel couples, I sit them down. And at first, I tell the husbands, do you understand that you've been called to lead? That you've been called to lead as the husband to take dominion for the sake of the kingdom of God.

Matthew chapter 6 should be your mission. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Are you ready to do that? And then I look at the potential wife, and I say, are you ready to come alongside this man to make that reality? The reason I do that is because a lot of times, that's not the driving aim for why marriages come together.

And so then they get into marriage, and then it's just like what the world does. You got your job. I got my job. And then we both kind of live our jobs. And we kind of come together at the end of the night. And that's kind of it. And then we do all of the American dream stuff.

Do you have a common purpose as a couple? And is your life set up in such a way that you can make the kingdom of God and its pursuit primary? See, we lose perspective. You understand at the end of the day, you will be in heaven for all eternity, furthering the kingdom of God and His glory.

We're going to work in heaven. That's the only reason you exist. The only reason you exist. And so God is calling you to engage in what you will be doing for all eternity. What about wives? Those of you who have children, staying at home or pursuing a career, in that battle, what's that saying about your heart?

Why is that a battle? What is the battle that's there? What affections are arising as you deal with that challenge? I said before, the word of God is not silent on this. The priority for you as women, especially those who have children in particular, you to be helpers, co-workers.

Genesis 2:18, we talked about it. With the home as the priority, Titus chapter 2, verse 5. And creating in your home a place of industry, hospitality, and respite. Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. Is that driving your decision making? Ladies and men, are you allowing an environment for your wives to be able to potentially stay at home?

I'm not saying that it's a sin if you work. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that it's a sin if you have a career. I'm not saying that. But this is what I am saying. The Bible is clear as to what your priorities are to be. Period. And if you can't have a career and still uphold these clearly revealed will of God priorities when it comes to you as a woman, then you shouldn't have one.

I want to encourage you. When my wife and I got married, we allowed for Titus chapter 2, verse 5. We allowed for Proverbs chapter 31, verse 10. We allowed for the scriptures in Genesis chapter 2, verse 18. We saw the revealed will of God. And we said, God, will you help us to discern what it looks like for us to live that out?

That's why I say it's not a sin that you have a job going. That's not the issue here. I'm not getting at particulars. I'm not being legalistic. But my issue is the majority of us don't even ask that question, I don't think. And I don't think that we sit back and ask ourselves why we're doing what we're doing.

That's just what we're supposed to do. We go to school. We get a good education. And we're supposed to get a good job. That's what's respectable. But when we got together, we said, Lord, we know that's your passion. That's your passion for family. And so God, how do you do that?

And where did you call this to? And then you were willing to make sacrifices to make that happen. Jesus didn't say it was going to be easy to follow and didn't. He said, you must deny yourself, take up your cross, and die to every single thing that you value for the sake of my name, the Father, me, above all else.

And so up to this point, by the grace of God, through our parenting, my wife hasn't worked in a vocation for the past almost 20 years. Did it take a lot of sacrifice? Yes. Did we lose out on some things? Yes. We don't have two incomes. I live in Compton.

We're both educated. I got a master's degree. She's got a bachelor's degree. We don't have to live there. But we said, you know what, Lord? In this setting, with all of our children, and all of the things that you're bringing on our plate, we're discerning this is the best way that we can ultimately live out what is clearly in your revealed will.

And we're willing to die to some of these things for the sake of that. Some of you guys need to consider that. Some of you in your relationships need to consider that. Because it's infringing upon what is already revealed in the will of God. If it's not, go at it.

Harvard's 31, she was industrious. Next thing, and I talked about this last year, kindergarten, ruled by children. Some of you, your kids are your idols. Everything revolves around the children. That's not the way it's supposed to be. That's not God's call. Your responsibility, first and foremost, is to your own relationship.

You're supposed to bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. But that doesn't mean that you disappear from church. I'm dealing with that. I don't know if you guys are dealing with that. I'm dealing with that. People start having families in our church, and all of a sudden, they get ghosts.

All of a sudden, they stop serving. All of a sudden, the church community has become a vital part of their lives. And they just kind of feel like they can come and they go as a plea, because hey, they got a schedule. I get all of that. So you can't say nothing to me about that.

We juggle four of them, though. So I know about schedules. So whatever, woo, it's all good. Come on, come on, I got four. What you want to tell me? Again, I'm loving the fact that the peer's back there. And that's what I tell our people. Look, somebody was telling me even earlier, like, you know, Pastor Ray, if you're preaching, I just need you to know, like, I forget, son or daughter, they cry a lot.

And so, woo, just to that, I was like, I don't care that they're crying. I'm immune to that. I don't even hear that no more. I have to delve some tolerance. And so, y'all, parents in the back, it's all good. Just walking that baby and just listening to the word of God.

That's what I'm talking about. And here's what you do. You begin to communicate at an early age. You understand you're always teaching? You are always teaching. Your children are watching you. And they're seeing what you prioritize. And when they see you work hard to get the family together and get everybody up out the house and be like, no, we come in the church, they're learning.

They're seeing what you value. They're seeing your priorities. And they'll begin to embrace those things themselves. I like what Francis Chan's wife said in the book when talking about taking their kids to the park. Am I taking my kids to the park because I just want to have a nice fun experience and just kind of get some fresh air?

And those are all good things. Or am I taking them to the park because I want to invite a few moms that don't know the Lord and I can start fellowshipping with their moms while the kids are out there on the playground playing? It's a different perspective. I like that.

Again, what is your heart telling you? Here's another one. What is your heart telling you when you look at the educational choices that you're thinking about making or you are making for your children? What is your heart telling you? I'm not telling you one thing is a sin or not, because I already told you I had my daughter in public school.

I've done homeschooling. I've done Christian school. And I've done public school. So I have run the gamut. But again, here's the question. Why are you doing what you are doing? Have you intentionally put them wherever they are presently because you believe that that's going to honor Deuteronomy chapter 6 and these words I command you, that you shall teach them?

Deuteronomy 6 didn't say that the school boards should teach them. It doesn't say that the church should teach them. It tells us as pastors to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry. The children's ministry should not be a fool for your children. What is that telling us?

Ultimately, what's driving the decision making? Deuteronomy chapter 6 says you're supposed to teach them. So we allow for that clear direction in the word of God to determine how we educated our children. Again, what I'm getting at is are biblical categories driving our decision making? Can you look at every single decision that you have made and/or are making and say, the reason why we're doing this is because the word of God says this.

And we believe this will fulfill this best. And that's how we try to drive everything. And so the reason why we did homeschooling early on for us was because-- and it's all over the place. I was a teacher for 13 years. So I know what is in the educational system.

All this gender inclusive stuff, people shaping my kids, they're sitting down with somebody that I don't even know for six hours. We have to be at least aware of that as parents. They're being shaped. And they're being shaped by a secular culture in a secular world by individuals that don't know and love God and whose God is the God of this age.

And so for us, as we looked at the word of God and said, Ruth, it's your responsibility to teach them all that God has revealed in his word. Well, if that's the case, then we'll keep them home for a little while. And then we got to a place where we couldn't do it, we're going to put them in a Christian school where at least now they're surrounded by individuals that have a biblical worldview and can pour that biblical worldview into them.

Are you in the live off of one income, maybe, because the best decision that you discern in living out the word of God here in Deuteronomy 6 is homeschooling? Maybe you need to change your budget and let some things go so maybe they can go into a Christian school.

Are you invested in their classrooms? Do you know their teachers if they're in public school? Do you know the curriculum? Are you going in and saying, I'm going to find out what y'all teaching my kid? I'm not just going to trust you with my child. I need to come up here and let you know I'm a believer.

I'm a Christian. And I'm going to ask you, please, if you can respect that. And so when it comes to these types of things, even though this is a public environment, if you could, please, make sure that you inform me if you want to talk about certain things that are contrary to the worldview that I'm trying to teach my kids.

That's why I bring in every context. Public, I'm doing it. So again, I don't want nobody offended up in here. But my question is, I put them in this public setting, and I want to do what I need to do what's best to live out Deuteronomy 6. I'm going to say it again.

It's your responsibility to raise your kids in that abolition environment. Nobody else's. And you will be held accountable for that. And here's the issue. You're dealing with an eternal soul. We're dealing with heaven or hell. These are weighty realities that need to weigh in on our decision making. My point is, are your decisions being driven by the clear directional voice of God?

You see, what happens in your heart is the issue that I want to get at. Someone asked me just yesterday, where is your daughter going to school? And I just told her, I said, yeah, Christian school. She kind of asked, well, why is that? And there were some issues with her.

I think her development, that's just the best setting. The secular schools now are-- colleges are crazy. They just crazy. They crazy. So I'm just telling you as parents, once y'all get to that place, oh, boy, I don't even know. I really don't. It's frightening. And so I'm saying it here.

Just don't go with the flow. Be aware of what you are doing and where you're placing your children, even when they get to this stage and this age. So for us, with Mariah, we just felt like, man, this is the best environment for her. We may think differently with our others.

But the reason I bring up the education piece is what I showed them was my daughter.