The saying is trustworthy if anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.

For someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up and conceited and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this morning. We thank you, Lord God, for the privilege that we have to be able to call you our Abba Father. Help us, Lord God, to not to live our lives, Lord, just being distant from you. Help us, Lord God, to make Christ our primary concern, primary pursuit.

And so we ask that this morning as we dive into your word, as we take time of communion, Lord, I pray, Lord God, you will gather our church together, that our commitment and our love for you may be united. And so we pray, Father God, that it would not simply be comfort or ease that we seek, but the truth, that we would pick up our cross and follow you.

So for that end, we pray for your blessing. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. As you guys know, the week before that, I went out to China to visit our team, and this week Tony went, and so we're very encouraged by the work that they're doing, and they're settling down, and so I'm communicating with them to see what's going on, and they've been busy just following up, and Andy sent pictures just last night, and they're following up on the students that we met this summer, and how they're continuing to meet up with them.

So we're really encouraged by the work that's going on over there. And the second part of the week I was out in Korea, I was attending a North Korean, a compassion that's preparing the churches in Korea to go into North Korea when it opens up. And so I spent a few days listening to many sermons and encouragements to prepare the churches to get into North Korea, and a lot of the bigger churches in this area was also represented in this conference.

And a theme that really was encouraging to me was that each one of the pastors who came up was pleading with the churches in Korea that before we enter into North Korea, there needs to be a revival in the churches now, because if North Korea opens up, and all we're doing is sending finances, then we've missed the whole point.

And obviously the work of compassion is to reach out to the underprivileged children, to feed them and care for them, but their ultimate goal is much more beyond that. It's obviously to reach them with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and so what they're hoping to do is that they would prepare the churches in Korea that when, and if and when it opens up, that the churches will be established in various places out of North Korea, and then that compassion will be able to work through the churches to reach out to the children.

And when I went to Philippines, I can honestly tell you that the work that they're doing is very effective, that they're not just feeding the children, they're actually establishing the local churches. And you see a countless number of children come into Christ, and as a result of them coming to Christ, their mother, father, a lot of their siblings end up coming to Christ, and it's really transforming that whole area.

Even though it's in the name of the mercy ministry, the gospel is really penetrating into this area through their ministry. And so that's what they're hoping to do in North Korea. But the constant theme that I heard throughout the conference was that unless there is a revival in the Korean churches, in particular because it was a gathering of the Korean churches, unless there was a revival in the Korean church, all that's going to happen is we're going to enter into North Korea and spread nominal Christianity.

That we know how to do church, we know how to establish the organization of a church, we know how to get people gathered in the church, we know we can read the Bible, anybody can read the Bible, we can run programs in the church, we can run Sunday school in the church, but no power.

Just as the scripture says, to have a form of godliness, everything that physically looks like a church, we know how to do it, and we know how to do it well. Maybe better than any other generation that has ever lived because of technology, because of education, because of experience, and yet not knowing anything of its power.

And I can say, you know, I look at the Korean churches, because you know, just coming back from there, that the previous generation, you know, was known to be theologically chaotic. You know, because it was established by missionaries, it was established by people who weren't properly theologically trained, but they had passion.

You know, they sacrificed, they suffered, many of them were martyred, put into jail during various periods of Christian history in Korea. But now that the theology is starting to settle in, and there's more and more good teaching, for whatever the reason, along with the good teaching, the passion, the sacrifice, is no longer the same as the previous generation.

And so I think that it describes the church situation well. That they have a form of godliness, the form is spectacular. They know how to do church, they know how to put in programs, you walk into a church, and the welcome team, and song and dance, I mean, the church is run like a Fortune 500 company, I mean, everything is done so professionally.

But at the heart of the church, what really matters, the worship, is dry. And you could see that there's no expectation of the people who are entering. And so it was really encouraging to me, and touching to me, when the pastors were pleading. And this was, again, this was a conference of mostly pastors and leaders in the church, and one pastor in particular that I remember, he was pleading in tears with the church, saying, "Yes, we need the gospel to go into North Korea.

Yes, the churches need to gather together in our resources, and we have great work ahead of us. But until there is revival in the Korean churches, all we're going to end up doing is to spread nominal Christianity." So, you know, obviously I'm not in Korea, and being a pastor here, and I started thinking about us as well.

You know, we, I think, I'm so excited about the work that God is doing, the opportunities that God is opening up for us. But in our generation, in where we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ, the work in India, in China, in various things that we are participating in, in all the work that you and I are doing, are we in danger of multiplying nominal Christianity?

Are we truly making disciples of Jesus Christ? I think that the core of revival is always leadership. It's always leadership. Before we look at the congregation, before we look at anything else, we have to look at the leadership. If you look at church history, if you look at Old Testament history, whenever Israel begins to stray away from God, God doesn't raise up an army.

He doesn't raise up a whole generation of people. He usually has a few people, and oftentimes one person. And you see that in the book of Judges. You know, when every time Israel begins to stray, He doesn't raise up a clan of people. He has one judge, who God is speaking to, and they begin to speak the truth in boldness, no matter what the cost, and God brings revival through that individual.

The scripture is very clear about the importance of leadership. To be able to speak, to be able to represent God clearly. In Hosea, when the nation of Israel began to prostitute themselves to the idols, one of the statements that he makes in the book of Hosea is, in Hosea 4.9, "Like people, like priests." The reason why people went astray is because the priests went astray.

The reason why people were not focused on God is because the priests began to compromise. Leadership is extremely important. That's why the scripture says in James chapter 3.1, "Not many of you ought to be leaders, because there's going to be stricter judgment, that there's greater consequences when leaders fail, and greater fruit if leaders succeed." And so desiring and wanting to be in leadership is not something that we should consider flippantly.

Now why am I saying all of this, you know, on Father's Day? Why am I saying this on Father's Day? Because every qualification that is mentioned here in 1 Timothy chapter 3, these are not qualifications that are uniquely gifted to particular people in the church. All he's saying is, all of these qualities are qualities that make a Christian brother or sister.

You know, oftentimes if you go to the Christian bookstores, you'll find tons of books on how to be a great father, how to be a great husband. There's tons of books. In fact, you'll find more books on how to become a good father than actual Bible study material. And I'm not exaggerating.

I actually went out and looked and looking for Bible study material that actually studies the Bible verse by verse, and there's very few material out there. But you'll find tons of books on how to become a great father, how to be a good husband. See, but the qualification, the attributes of what makes a great leader as a deacon or an overseer, in particular in our text, is no different for every individual.

It's just saying that the elders need to be an example of all of this. You know, whenever we talk about, you know, we go into marriage counseling, we say, "Well, what does it mean to be a godly husband, godly father?" Now, obviously their application may be a little bit different because you have a wife and you have children, you may be discipling them different.

But the attributes, the character is no different. The character of a godly man is a character of a godly leader. So everything that he says here is really relevant to all of us. In particular, as we're talking about what does it mean to be a godly father, a godly husband.

You know, if you look at this text, he begins by saying, "Here are the qualifications of an elder." And he says, "The saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to be an officer of an overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach." Now, above reproach basically means that in every aspect of his life that he can't be accused of wrongdoing.

Right? Now, that's a pretty high calling. He begins by giving an overarching statement saying that you can't just be qualified in one. You could be able to teach, but you're not temperate. Right? And you could, you're not a drunkard, but you have love of money. He's saying that obviously no human being is perfect, only Christ is perfect.

But our goal in our sanctification, in our pursuit of Christ, ought to be all-encompassing. If we're not careful, we can easily say, "You know what? I'm good at this." Sometimes people who are good at theology, you know, are not good at evangelism. And sometimes people who are good at praying may not be good at serving.

Sometimes people may be gracious, but they don't speak the truth. And so we tend to cling to things that we're good at. So if you spend a lot of time in mercy ministry, you know, and we become like, "Oh, you know, mercy ministry, how come nobody else is helping with mercy ministry?" And then we neglect grace, mercy, theology, and all these other things that the Scripture teaches us.

So the first thing that he says, he must be above reproach in all of these things, that we need to be pursuing all of these things. We won't ever be perfect, but we ought to be sanctified in all of it. But the very first statement, very first specific statement that he makes of what it means to be above reproach, what does he say?

He must be a husband of one wife. Some people have misinterpreted that as saying, well, he's saying that if you want to be a leader in the church, you have to be married. And I've actually talked to friends whose policy in their church is if you're not married, you can't be a leader in the church.

I don't think that that's what he's saying because Apostle Paul himself is not married when he's writing this. Some think that maybe he was married and his wife left him because he was being crazy talking about Jesus, right? And some people think that. But we know for a fact that Paul himself says that he is not married.

He says in 1 Corinthians 7 that if I were you, I would encourage you to be like me, meaning he doesn't have he doesn't have a divided attention. He has soul, you know, affections and soul attention on Christ. So I don't think that's what he's saying, because Paul himself, he refers him to himself as an overseer and as an elder.

Then what does he mean when he says that an elder or leader must be a husband of one wife? Again, you have to understand that we're living in a period of time or they're living in a period of time where prostitution was normal. Today, whether you're a Christian or non-Christian, prostitution is not considered a moral behavior.

You don't have to be a Christian to say that. Non-Christians will agree with us that prostitution is not moral behavior. At this particular time in history, prostitution was a given. If a man is at home and he's not satisfied with his one wife or maybe even his concubines, he will be free to go to the local temple and just buy a prostitute and do what he does and then come home.

It was not only legal, it was accepted. In fact, it would be probably difficult to find somebody who didn't practice this. He's speaking in that context where this is uniquely Christian, where he's saying, if you've made a vow as a follower of Christ and you made a vow to your wife, that you would keep that vow.

What he means is, he's talking about an individual who is faithful to the things that he has committed himself to. Every single person in this room, or not every single person, but all of you who were married at Berean, you confessed the same vow. And I know for a fact, Joe and Laura were the first ones at our church that got married.

And the vows that they took are the vows that everybody else took. At least it's the same vow. I'm pretty sure that Pastor Mark and Pastor Aaron, at least while they were here, they gave the same vow. So the vows that you took, you men in particular, I'm going to read it back to you, just so that you didn't forget.

Okay? I, man, take woman as my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love her sacrificially as Christ loved the church. Remember that. Right? Every single guy who stood and took that vow is that you vowed to love sacrificially. Not just love because they love us and because they're doing things for us.

It's sacrificially as Christ loved the church. Every one of us made that vow. I will protect and provide for her to the best of my ability. Not to live selfishly, but that you would be a man and provide and take care of your home, sacrificially. To the best of my ability from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

So what Paul is saying here is that an overseer, an leader, must first be a man who takes his vow seriously. That his yes is yes and his no is no. That he's not a man who confesses one thing with his mouth and does something else with his life.

And so even in our church, every member in our church signs a covenant. And again, that covenant is not unique to Berean Community Church. Nothing on that covenant, none of the 10 covenants that we ask you to commit to is unique to Berean Community Church. It is a covenant that is required that every Christian that has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ enters into and we ask you to renew that covenant every year.

So when he says an overseer is a man who takes his vow seriously, is that when he commits to something, he is committed. That he's not just one thing with his mouth and then again, it's just like, well, that doesn't mean anything. I just, you know, what he says and what he does doesn't really match up.

So the first thing that he says, well, where is that proven? In his home. First and foremost, a man who is above reproach is a man who takes his vow seriously. So this morning I want to look at three things. Why? Look in verse 4 and 5. After he goes through that these are the qualifications of an elder, he says he must manage his own household well.

If you look at the qualifications of an elder, everything that he says is a character. And we oftentimes take that one statement, able to teach and say, well, an elder has to be, you know, he needs to be sober minded, self-controlled, respectful, hospitable, not drunkard. And then we say, well, one ability he's able to teach.

I don't think able to teach is simply talking about a skill to be able to articulate doctrine. I think that also is talking about character. If there's any particular thing that the scripture says, like he needs to be skilled at, I think he's talking about in verse 4. He must be able to manage his own household well.

With all dignity, keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? So I'm going to go through three reasons why an elder must first be a good husband or a good father. Because at the core of what makes you qualified to lead a church, he says is first and foremost, you need to be a good father.

You need to be a good husband. And three reasons. One, the home is the most and best place to prove your character. The home is the most, is the best place to prove your character. See, look at all the characteristics that are mentioned here. He must be sober minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Now this morning here, you know, it's 11 o'clock. So if you are drowsy at 11 o'clock, you are sleeping way too late. Right? Or maybe you have an infant at home and so you have a good excuse. But if that's not the case, you should prepare yourself. Right? Now as a pastor, I've been preaching here for many years, so I can kind of tell if you guys are paying attention or not paying attention.

Some of you are better than others. You know, the older you are, the better you are at faking it. That's what I noticed. And you know, when I preach in front of older people, like people in their 40s and 50s and 60s, I mean, they got a straight face.

You know, they're saying straight out, they might even say amen every once in a while, but they're not paying attention. Right? But the younger you are, you know, because I don't, many of you are surprised when I tell you what I notice up here. Like, oh, you came in late.

So you saw that? Of course I saw you. You just walked down the middle. I saw you. Right? You were drinking coffee. You know, oh, you were falling asleep. Oh, shoot, you saw that? Of course I can see that. Right? I can tell. But all of those things are superficial.

You can fake it. Right? Some of you may not be paying attention at all. You have no idea what I said up to this point. Right? You just drank coffee, so you're just not falling asleep. Right? Now, I've spoken in front of junior high school students where they just straight up lied down and went to sleep.

Right? You guys aren't that bad. Right? But you can fake it. Not just with me, but even with each other. Whether you're sober or not sober, whether your mind is filled with things of this world, whether you are passionately pursuing God, what is in your heart, on Sunday morning, for a couple hours, we can all fake it.

We can all put on a good face. You know, we all dressed up. Nobody came out, you know, just rolled out of bed with your hair all sticking up, you know. You all prepared yourself to come. So Sundays are not the best place to judge whether somebody is sober or not sober.

But you can't fake it at home. You can't fake it at home. No matter what the reputation is at church, your husband, your wife knows. If you're reading the Bible, not reading the Bible. If you've been in prayer or not been in prayer. If you're sober or not sober, your wife knows.

You can fake it for a short period of time, but not for long. Self-controlled. Are you self-controlled? Are you giving yourself, of course, you know, every single one of you here is self-controlled. Nobody's standing up saying, you know, doing whatever your flesh desires on Sunday morning. You get into your car, you know, when the pastor's not there, when the leaders are not there and your Christian friends are not there, right?

You just kind of give in to whatever desires that you have. You can't tell at church. In fact, the longer you've been a Christian, the more, you know, the better you are at presenting yourself on Sunday. You know what you should say or shouldn't say. That's why when a young Christian comes into the church, it's so refreshing.

You know, things that come out of their mouth, they're like, oh my gosh, but they don't know any better. Right? But they're just, they're just, they're just honest. You see who they are. But the longer we've been a Christian, we know how you should dress, what not to wear, what to say, what not to say, you know, like the Trinity and the church.

I mean, we know how to play this game, but the true test of a character, you can see with the people who are the closest to you, which is at home. You know, the older we get, we know how to play this game. You know, if Esther cooks something that I think maybe it's too salty or it's not salty enough.

And she asked me, and I try to be as honest with her as possible, but, but I know, like, I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to hurt myself. So I try to be careful, right? But you can't fool your kids. You can't fool your kids.

You know, if you prepared a meal and your kids don't like it, especially the younger they are, you know what I mean? Like the older ones at my house, like Jeremy, he kind of knows he's, he's 18. So he's, he knows how to play the game. So you don't, but you take younger kids.

I don't want to eat this. Your mom's been laboring for three hours to cook this. It's like, yeah, but I don't want it. You know, whoever you are, whatever you are, you can't fake it at home. You can't fake it with your wife and you definitely can't fake it with your kids.

Your kids will tell you right away who you are. You know, they'll hurt you if you ask them. Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to, right? They'll hurt you, right? Because they're brutally honest. You can fake it outside, but you can't fake it at home. And to be a leader, that's why he says, first and foremost, you have to be a leader at home.

You have to be a father who is respected at home. I remember years ago, the very first ministry I was a youth pastor in, and this pastor was a, in my mind, was a great preacher. They had, it was a Korean church and I was a youth pastor. So every morning at 5.30, there was morning prayer.

So it wasn't required, but I enjoyed going because the pastor was such a great preacher and he was preaching through Leviticus. I thought this guy was crazy. You know, he's preaching Leviticus 5.30 in the morning, you know, but I was gaining so much and I thought, man, this, this was a brand new church.

Finally, it's going to explode. People are going to come and, and this church is going to grow quickly. I remember one day I was at his house and we were having a meeting and we're having a meeting and you could tell his wife was not happy. Something was going on.

And every time the pastor would say something, you could, you could see in the, in the pastor's wife's face, like, "Yeah, right." You know? And so, you know, as the night went by, you could just see the tension between the husband and wife to the extent where everything that he said was nullified by the expression of his wife's face.

I don't know what was going on at home, you know, and I was a, I was pretty young. I was 19, 20 years old at that time, so, you know, I don't know the dynamics of marriage and all that stuff, but I just remember the picture that I had of the pastor at the church and the picture I had of him at home was night and day.

Who we are in private gives us the foundation to be able to be who we are in public. But if our public life and private life does not match, eventually we will be disqualified. That's why in 1 Timothy 5, 22, it says, "Do not be hasty in laying hands of others, nor take part in the sins of others.

Keep yourself pure." And then he says, "Some sins are obvious, but some sins trail behind them." What that means is, they may look godly. They may look a certain way in the front, because everybody knows how to play this game. But if there is hidden sin, if someone is not gracious at home, if he is not a proven to be a leader at home, eventually it will leak out.

And that's why he says, "Take your time to test a person. Take your time to see the inside and the out." Second reason why, he says, "This is a place where we learn to lead." And so, leadership is not just something that, you know, in character, but again, he's talking about he needs to be able to manage his own household, that the children must be submissive in all dignity, right?

Having respect for his father. Why is that important? If he can't earn the respect of his children at home, how is he going to earn the respect of the members at the church? He must be proven, first and foremost, at home. Now, John MacArthur says, of leadership, there are three qualities that every leader needs to have, whether it is at home or whether it is at church.

One, he needs to be able to have authority. That he speaks with authority. Authority obviously at church comes from the Word of God, right? But it doesn't only come from the Word of God, because you can be speaking the truth of the Word of God, and your life in the pulpit and outside the pulpit don't match, then you are disqualified to teach.

So a person who is articulate and give great messages can go from church to church to church, and give great messages and be honored, saying, "Wow, you are a man of God." But somebody who is in the church day in and day out, where they know your private life and your public life, if your life does not match the things that you are preaching up in the pulpit, eventually no one is going to care what you have to say.

You become disqualified. That's why I believe that statement, "able to teach," is not simply talking about the ability to articulate truth. Able to teach is that his character, his life, his theology, all of that are consistent. Therefore he is able to teach. So that's why he says, if you can't disciple and bring a child to submission, and because you have authority over his life, you're not going to be able to disciple that child.

Secondly, he says, there needs to be wisdom. Wisdom as to when to squeeze, when to let go. And that's the same thing at church. When to preach the truth, when to preach love, when to demand holiness, when to be gracious. There needs to be wisdom in application. If you are gracious when it's time to bring discipline, then you will ruin the child.

If you bring discipline when he needs grace, you will also ruin the child. And there's no different in the church. So you need to have wisdom. Third, there needs to be love. And that's, that part, love. Again, this is my personal experience. Love tends to come and overflow from people who are broken.

Broken people tend to be more gracious. Broken people tend to be more loving. And that's the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness. A righteous person is somebody who is broken because he recognizes his own sin, and he has compassion toward other sinners. A self-righteous person is a person who doesn't recognize his own faults.

And he sees all that he has done, and everybody else who's not living up to it, and so he blames everybody else. And he has no compassion. A good leader, a biblical leader, must have authority, he must have wisdom, and he must have love. Just like children, if they only obey me because they're afraid of me, at some point they're going to stop obeying me, because at some point I'm not going to be stronger than them.

Especially with today's technology, you know, creatine, amino acids, you know, they get big fast, right? Building up muscle, Zachary's like, you know, he's bulking up, and you know what I mean? Like a couple years, he's going to flip me over. If my authority is coming from, you know, my strength, and he's afraid of me, at some point he's not going to obey me anymore.

His authority, eventually, as they mature, comes from love. Because they know how much we care about them. That even when we speak harshly, they know we're speaking because it's what's best for them. And this must be first and foremost proven at home. That we learn to be disciple makers first and foremost at home.

You know, every stage of parenting, you know, I had to adjust, and I know there's a few people in this room have raised teenagers and beyond. Most of you are raising little children. And infancy is kind of like, you know, our church was planted, some of you guys, most of you guys know, but some of you guys don't know, that our church was planted on the day, not planted, but inaugurated on the day that my first son was born.

So when he turns 18, our church turns 18. And so as our church matured and grew, I can see the correlation between our church and raising Jeremy. Infancy is, you know, it's a shock. It's like everything's new, you don't know what you're doing, especially when you had your first kid, right?

You call the doctor, every time he coughs, something went wrong. And it's kind of like the church plant, initially, right? I remember the first time doing baptism, I had no idea what I was doing, I just did it. I literally had to watch videos, oh, this is what they do, right?

It's kind of like raising a kid. At toddler stage is when people just kind of start to go off and venture, and they're testing out everything, and you kind of have to go and sit and talk to people, it's like, don't do that, you can't get drunk, you can't do that.

You're chasing after these toddlers who are sticking fingers into the walls, you can't do that, right? That's the toddler stage. There's a stage in the church where, in the context of discipling, you have to talk to them about, you can't do this, and don't go here, don't say that.

I think the hardest stage in raising kids is probably the teenage stage. Because teenage stage is where they're physically big enough, and you know, they're not afraid of spanking, you know, that stage is done. If you're spanking them when they're teenagers, I don't know, maybe it works, it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

They're not afraid of pain, in fact, they could inflict pain if they wanted to at that stage, right? But teenage stage is the most difficult because they think they're adults and they're not yet. You know, and that's the most dangerous part of the spiritual stage. Some of you guys are sitting there, saying, yeah, I remember those people.

It might be you, okay, it might be you. The teenage stage is the stage when we think we're more mature than we really are, and that's when we're the most dangerous, you know. And I remember, you know, when Jeremy first started driving his car, he started having freedom and he was talking about how he wanted to go here.

Obviously, now he has freedom, he can go anywhere he wants. He's like going to New York and San Francisco, traveling, backpacking in Europe, and he's talking about all this stuff, and I said, Jeremy, you know, that's great, you know, and at some point, I will feel comfortable when you do that, I'm just going to have to let you go, but not today.

And he said, why? I said, I know how to, you know, I'm grown up. And I remember I asked him, if you get a flat tire, what are you going to do? And he looked at me like, what? If you're driving in New York and you got a flat tire, what would you do?

Oh, I want to get a flat tire. Because tires are not eternal, that's why. If you get a flat tire, what are you going to do? He said, well, I don't know. I said, exactly. Just a simple thing as a flat tire is going to ruin your vacation or whatever.

But that's why I'm saying, I'm not saying you can't do it, and it's a simple fix, but you don't know how the world works. You may go in with a flat tire, and you may come out with four brand new tires, right? There's an inside joke with me and Esther.

All right. Don't hurt me later. Esther did that one time. I'll pay for it later. All right. That's probably the most dangerous stage, right? But learning to deal with that, be patient. During the teenage stage, you have to be patient, and you have to love them. It's aggravating and frustrating, but you have to kind of endure through that, because that's part of parenting.

Whenever I hear a young guy saying, I want to be a pastor because I like to teach. That's like saying, I want to be a parent because I like to read to my kids. A parent has to be ready to do whatever it takes. You have to learn how to cook.

You have to learn how to drive. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night, and you have to be the nurse or the doctor. You have to learn how to change their diapers. I mean, there is no one job description. You don't come into a parenting and be a father and say, this is what I want to do when I'm a father.

You do whatever that child needs you to be. And that's no different with pastoring. If you come into pastoring or leadership in the church thinking like, oh, this is what I'm going to do. Then you're not going to make it. So a good leader learns. Again, he's proven first and foremost at home.

The third and final reason, which I believe is the most important out of the three, is that the curse of the law was first revealed in the home. So the reversal of the curse is first practiced at home. If you remember in Genesis 3, verse 7, after they fall into temptation and the curse comes into mankind, this is how it's described.

Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And then in chapter 3, verse 10 through 11, it says, and he said, Adam is speaking to God. He said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself.

He said, who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat? So in the three verses, this fall, this death, this curse that we talk about is described as recognizing our nakedness. So the first thing that we know is that nakedness is basically covering ourselves.

Every single one of us, the most tangible evidence of the fall is that you are not naked. Right? And you say, thank God. Because no animal wears clothes but us. The reason, again, why Mickey Mouse has pants on is because a human being drew him. Right? No mouse wears pants.

Whenever you see a dog walking around with clothing on, you know that some person did that to that person. No dog woke up in the morning and said, I need to wear pants. Right? Somebody did that to them. So the fact that you and I dressed up this morning is the most tangible evidence of the fall.

Because the first thing that happened was, their eyes got open and they recognized their nakedness and they covered themselves. The word naked here in Hebrew literally means shameful exposure. Why did they all of a sudden recognize, oh, it's shameful to uncover certain parts of our body? It was, even though it was manifested physically, it was something happening spiritually.

They were hiding from themselves. And as a result of this hiding, what happened? Who did they hide from? They didn't hide from the dogs. They didn't hide from themselves. None of you have a problem being naked in the shower. You don't wear pants because you're ashamed of yourself. Who were they hiding from?

Adam was hiding from his wife and his wife was hiding from her husband. And they were hiding from their God. That's the first place where this shame is recognized. Where the fall was tangibly seen was between husband and wife. They hid themselves. You know, we have a tendency to think we romanticize marriage.

We think once we get married, you know, me and my husband, we're going to finish each other's sentences and we're just going to be so one. We'll be one. I'm going to find my eternal partner. You know what I mean? You get married and you realize, I mean, probably the greatest problem that husband and wife has is understanding each other.

Universally. You know, even, forget finishing each other's sentence. You can write them a letter, draw them a picture, and they don't get you. You can spend hours talking about, that's not what I said. That's not what I meant. You can have years of conversations like, how come you don't get it?

You just don't get it. Finish each other's sentence. Yeah, right. The very first thing that happened between when the fall came in was that they hid from each other and that was the most tangible evidence. And as a result of that, they're first born, is born into sin, and then again and again and again.

So when we were affected by the cross, the very first place where the reversal of this curse must be seen and practiced is at home. Before the church, before anywhere else, is with my wife and my kids. That all of these things that God challenges me to do, it must first be practiced at home.

The curse has been reversed for all of us. Every single one of us, because we've been born into a sinful, fallen world. You know, if you go to a psychologist, they'll say, "Oh, why do you behave that way? Why are you addicted to this? And why do you do that?" And they'll trace your life and say, "Well, your father was an addict.

You were abused when you were a kid." And we can all trace back our behavior and say, "We do this because they've done this to us." You know, "At school I was treated this way. You know, my parents did this, and my grandparents did that." Every single human being that's born into a sinful world has been sinned against, and so therefore, we sin.

And there's also sin inside of us that causes us to sin. But no Christian, no child of God, can now use that as an excuse for our sin. Because we love, because He first loved us. Because every human being, if you kick me, I kick somebody else, and it goes on and on and on.

But Jesus Christ, it says, absorbs sin upon Himself. And instead of bringing judgment, He brought love and grace. Galatians 3.13, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.'" He became a curse for us, that we would no longer live in response of this curse.

So where is this reversal of the curse first practiced and actualized? With my wife. With my husband. With my children. And that's why He says an elder must first be proven in his home before he can lead in the congregation. Every single one of us have been affected. You can't use your husband's behavior to be a bad wife.

You can't use your wife's behavior to be a bad husband. You can't use your children's sin to be a bad parent. Because every single one of us hit the spiritual lottery. How can we possibly be complaining about a few bucks when we hit the lottery? When He is our Abba Father, that no matter what happens in life, that that will never change.

What can separate us from this love of Christ? He who did not spare His own Son, how will He along with Him give us everything? If He is our Abba Father, how can we possibly complain about the trivial things? So therefore, therefore, because He loved me, I'm obligated. Because He loved me, I'm obligated to love you.

Not because you love me, but because He loved me. I'm obligated to the non-Christians. Not because they're beautiful, not because they're lovely, not because they have potential, but because He loved me. And at the core of a good marriage, at the core of a good father, He's a person who has been affected by the cross.

I want to conclude with a challenge to the men in our congregation. Whether you are a father, whether you are married, or whether you're a single guy. We are in desperate need of men. Men. Men who understand the responsibility that's not just on my shoulder as a pastor, not just my shoulder as a father, to set an example, but every man that has been given the authority, every man who takes the vow to love my wife sacrificially, to understand that revival will come when men experience revival in their lives.

Men. Men who's going to act like men. Men who are not going to live their lives thinking about, "How can I be satisfied? What can I do with my life? How can I enjoy myself?" But to recognize that that responsibility for your wife, for your children, for your community has been placed on your shoulders, and when men become men, I believe revival will come.

That we not look to the left or to the right, but each man stands before God and say, "Lord, hear my, send me. What do I have to be in my home that I can make disciples of my wife and my children?" As we celebrate Father's Day, I pray that God would raise up men in our generation.

Men who are going to take up their cross. And the aroma of Christ will be so strong in our community that our wives and our children may be the first benefactors. Let's pray. May I ask the praise team to come up as we prepare for the communion table. Just as motherhood is important and it is tiring at times and draining, and fatherhood, at times, could be just as draining.

And they need encouragement, they need your prayers, and they need grace. Because it is a high calling, we need the community to lift up the men in our church, and because we're weak, at the core of who we are, we're selfish.