back to index2015-06-21 High Calling of Fathers
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The saying is trustworthy if anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble 00:00:10.320 |
Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, 00:00:15.120 |
respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, 00:00:22.200 |
He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. 00:00:29.080 |
For someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's 00:00:33.920 |
He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up and conceited and fall into 00:00:40.000 |
Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders so that he may not fall into disgrace, into 00:00:48.800 |
Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this morning. 00:00:51.740 |
We thank you, Lord God, for the privilege that we have to be able to call you our Abba 00:00:57.880 |
Help us, Lord God, to not to live our lives, Lord, just being distant from you. 00:01:06.000 |
Help us, Lord God, to make Christ our primary concern, primary pursuit. 00:01:11.520 |
And so we ask that this morning as we dive into your word, as we take time of communion, 00:01:17.680 |
Lord, I pray, Lord God, you will gather our church together, that our commitment and our 00:01:25.080 |
And so we pray, Father God, that it would not simply be comfort or ease that we seek, 00:01:32.620 |
but the truth, that we would pick up our cross and follow you. 00:01:42.280 |
As you guys know, the week before that, I went out to China to visit our team, and this 00:01:49.800 |
week Tony went, and so we're very encouraged by the work that they're doing, and they're 00:01:54.560 |
settling down, and so I'm communicating with them to see what's going on, and they've been 00:01:59.000 |
busy just following up, and Andy sent pictures just last night, and they're following up 00:02:03.840 |
on the students that we met this summer, and how they're continuing to meet up with them. 00:02:08.560 |
So we're really encouraged by the work that's going on over there. 00:02:11.320 |
And the second part of the week I was out in Korea, I was attending a North Korean, 00:02:17.280 |
a compassion that's preparing the churches in Korea to go into North Korea when it opens 00:02:22.760 |
And so I spent a few days listening to many sermons and encouragements to prepare the 00:02:28.800 |
churches to get into North Korea, and a lot of the bigger churches in this area was also 00:02:36.480 |
And a theme that really was encouraging to me was that each one of the pastors who came 00:02:43.440 |
up was pleading with the churches in Korea that before we enter into North Korea, there 00:02:49.080 |
needs to be a revival in the churches now, because if North Korea opens up, and all we're 00:02:54.240 |
doing is sending finances, then we've missed the whole point. 00:02:57.640 |
And obviously the work of compassion is to reach out to the underprivileged children, 00:03:00.880 |
to feed them and care for them, but their ultimate goal is much more beyond that. 00:03:05.800 |
It's obviously to reach them with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and so what they're hoping 00:03:09.520 |
to do is that they would prepare the churches in Korea that when, and if and when it opens 00:03:15.920 |
up, that the churches will be established in various places out of North Korea, and 00:03:21.000 |
then that compassion will be able to work through the churches to reach out to the children. 00:03:25.520 |
And when I went to Philippines, I can honestly tell you that the work that they're doing 00:03:29.760 |
is very effective, that they're not just feeding the children, they're actually establishing 00:03:35.520 |
And you see a countless number of children come into Christ, and as a result of them 00:03:40.240 |
coming to Christ, their mother, father, a lot of their siblings end up coming to Christ, 00:03:44.400 |
and it's really transforming that whole area. 00:03:48.120 |
Even though it's in the name of the mercy ministry, the gospel is really penetrating 00:03:54.520 |
And so that's what they're hoping to do in North Korea. 00:03:57.680 |
But the constant theme that I heard throughout the conference was that unless there is a 00:04:02.680 |
revival in the Korean churches, in particular because it was a gathering of the Korean churches, 00:04:08.160 |
unless there was a revival in the Korean church, all that's going to happen is we're going 00:04:12.640 |
to enter into North Korea and spread nominal Christianity. 00:04:17.040 |
That we know how to do church, we know how to establish the organization of a church, 00:04:21.360 |
we know how to get people gathered in the church, we know we can read the Bible, anybody 00:04:26.120 |
can read the Bible, we can run programs in the church, we can run Sunday school in the 00:04:33.640 |
Just as the scripture says, to have a form of godliness, everything that physically looks 00:04:38.720 |
like a church, we know how to do it, and we know how to do it well. 00:04:42.120 |
Maybe better than any other generation that has ever lived because of technology, because 00:04:46.560 |
of education, because of experience, and yet not knowing anything of its power. 00:04:54.200 |
And I can say, you know, I look at the Korean churches, because you know, just coming back 00:05:00.280 |
from there, that the previous generation, you know, was known to be theologically chaotic. 00:05:07.560 |
You know, because it was established by missionaries, it was established by people who weren't properly 00:05:16.760 |
You know, they sacrificed, they suffered, many of them were martyred, put into jail 00:05:20.880 |
during various periods of Christian history in Korea. 00:05:26.160 |
But now that the theology is starting to settle in, and there's more and more good teaching, 00:05:32.480 |
for whatever the reason, along with the good teaching, the passion, the sacrifice, is no 00:05:41.960 |
And so I think that it describes the church situation well. 00:05:46.240 |
That they have a form of godliness, the form is spectacular. 00:05:50.780 |
They know how to do church, they know how to put in programs, you walk into a church, 00:05:54.520 |
and the welcome team, and song and dance, I mean, the church is run like a Fortune 500 00:06:01.520 |
company, I mean, everything is done so professionally. 00:06:05.520 |
But at the heart of the church, what really matters, the worship, is dry. 00:06:11.560 |
And you could see that there's no expectation of the people who are entering. 00:06:16.560 |
And so it was really encouraging to me, and touching to me, when the pastors were pleading. 00:06:21.200 |
And this was, again, this was a conference of mostly pastors and leaders in the church, 00:06:25.640 |
and one pastor in particular that I remember, he was pleading in tears with the church, 00:06:30.600 |
saying, "Yes, we need the gospel to go into North Korea. 00:06:34.560 |
Yes, the churches need to gather together in our resources, and we have great work ahead 00:06:39.760 |
But until there is revival in the Korean churches, all we're going to end up doing is to spread 00:06:45.760 |
So, you know, obviously I'm not in Korea, and being a pastor here, and I started thinking 00:06:55.360 |
You know, we, I think, I'm so excited about the work that God is doing, the opportunities 00:07:02.600 |
But in our generation, in where we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ, the work in 00:07:08.160 |
India, in China, in various things that we are participating in, in all the work that 00:07:12.720 |
you and I are doing, are we in danger of multiplying nominal Christianity? 00:07:21.360 |
Are we truly making disciples of Jesus Christ? 00:07:25.100 |
I think that the core of revival is always leadership. 00:07:31.480 |
Before we look at the congregation, before we look at anything else, we have to look 00:07:37.280 |
If you look at church history, if you look at Old Testament history, whenever Israel 00:07:41.480 |
begins to stray away from God, God doesn't raise up an army. 00:07:46.040 |
He doesn't raise up a whole generation of people. 00:07:48.320 |
He usually has a few people, and oftentimes one person. 00:07:55.200 |
You know, when every time Israel begins to stray, He doesn't raise up a clan of people. 00:08:00.880 |
He has one judge, who God is speaking to, and they begin to speak the truth in boldness, 00:08:06.880 |
no matter what the cost, and God brings revival through that individual. 00:08:12.360 |
The scripture is very clear about the importance of leadership. 00:08:17.080 |
To be able to speak, to be able to represent God clearly. 00:08:22.760 |
In Hosea, when the nation of Israel began to prostitute themselves to the idols, one 00:08:29.240 |
of the statements that he makes in the book of Hosea is, in Hosea 4.9, "Like people, like 00:08:35.640 |
The reason why people went astray is because the priests went astray. 00:08:39.640 |
The reason why people were not focused on God is because the priests began to compromise. 00:08:47.640 |
That's why the scripture says in James chapter 3.1, "Not many of you ought to be leaders, 00:08:54.800 |
because there's going to be stricter judgment, that there's greater consequences when leaders 00:09:05.780 |
And so desiring and wanting to be in leadership is not something that we should consider flippantly. 00:09:14.200 |
Now why am I saying all of this, you know, on Father's Day? 00:09:20.280 |
Because every qualification that is mentioned here in 1 Timothy chapter 3, these are not 00:09:25.960 |
qualifications that are uniquely gifted to particular people in the church. 00:09:31.520 |
All he's saying is, all of these qualities are qualities that make a Christian brother 00:09:38.980 |
You know, oftentimes if you go to the Christian bookstores, you'll find tons of books on how 00:09:43.220 |
to be a great father, how to be a great husband. 00:09:46.560 |
In fact, you'll find more books on how to become a good father than actual Bible study 00:09:54.240 |
I actually went out and looked and looking for Bible study material that actually studies 00:09:58.000 |
the Bible verse by verse, and there's very few material out there. 00:10:01.880 |
But you'll find tons of books on how to become a great father, how to be a good husband. 00:10:07.680 |
See, but the qualification, the attributes of what makes a great leader as a deacon or 00:10:15.200 |
an overseer, in particular in our text, is no different for every individual. 00:10:20.880 |
It's just saying that the elders need to be an example of all of this. 00:10:25.360 |
You know, whenever we talk about, you know, we go into marriage counseling, we say, "Well, 00:10:28.220 |
what does it mean to be a godly husband, godly father?" 00:10:30.720 |
Now, obviously their application may be a little bit different because you have a wife 00:10:35.280 |
and you have children, you may be discipling them different. 00:10:38.360 |
But the attributes, the character is no different. 00:10:42.000 |
The character of a godly man is a character of a godly leader. 00:10:46.520 |
So everything that he says here is really relevant to all of us. 00:10:51.320 |
In particular, as we're talking about what does it mean to be a godly father, a godly 00:10:58.280 |
You know, if you look at this text, he begins by saying, "Here are the qualifications of 00:11:08.480 |
If anyone aspires to be an officer of an overseer, he desires a noble task. 00:11:13.080 |
Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach." 00:11:16.320 |
Now, above reproach basically means that in every aspect of his life that he can't be 00:11:24.480 |
He begins by giving an overarching statement saying that you can't just be qualified in 00:11:32.040 |
You could be able to teach, but you're not temperate. 00:11:36.920 |
And you could, you're not a drunkard, but you have love of money. 00:11:41.000 |
He's saying that obviously no human being is perfect, only Christ is perfect. 00:11:45.920 |
But our goal in our sanctification, in our pursuit of Christ, ought to be all-encompassing. 00:11:52.580 |
If we're not careful, we can easily say, "You know what? 00:11:56.360 |
Sometimes people who are good at theology, you know, are not good at evangelism. 00:12:01.500 |
And sometimes people who are good at praying may not be good at serving. 00:12:06.640 |
Sometimes people may be gracious, but they don't speak the truth. 00:12:10.760 |
And so we tend to cling to things that we're good at. 00:12:13.320 |
So if you spend a lot of time in mercy ministry, you know, and we become like, "Oh, you know, 00:12:18.520 |
mercy ministry, how come nobody else is helping with mercy ministry?" 00:12:21.280 |
And then we neglect grace, mercy, theology, and all these other things that the Scripture 00:12:27.120 |
So the first thing that he says, he must be above reproach in all of these things, that 00:12:33.900 |
We won't ever be perfect, but we ought to be sanctified in all of it. 00:12:38.880 |
But the very first statement, very first specific statement that he makes of what it means to 00:12:51.000 |
Some people have misinterpreted that as saying, well, he's saying that if you want to be a 00:12:54.960 |
leader in the church, you have to be married. 00:12:57.480 |
And I've actually talked to friends whose policy in their church is if you're not married, 00:13:04.000 |
I don't think that that's what he's saying because Apostle Paul himself is not married 00:13:09.620 |
Some think that maybe he was married and his wife left him because he was being crazy talking 00:13:16.860 |
But we know for a fact that Paul himself says that he is not married. 00:13:20.800 |
He says in 1 Corinthians 7 that if I were you, I would encourage you to be like me, 00:13:26.240 |
meaning he doesn't have he doesn't have a divided attention. 00:13:29.280 |
He has soul, you know, affections and soul attention on Christ. 00:13:34.640 |
So I don't think that's what he's saying, because Paul himself, he refers him to himself 00:13:42.440 |
Then what does he mean when he says that an elder or leader must be a husband of one wife? 00:13:48.680 |
Again, you have to understand that we're living in a period of time or they're living in a 00:13:52.760 |
period of time where prostitution was normal. 00:13:56.560 |
Today, whether you're a Christian or non-Christian, prostitution is not considered a moral behavior. 00:14:01.880 |
You don't have to be a Christian to say that. 00:14:04.680 |
Non-Christians will agree with us that prostitution is not moral behavior. 00:14:09.400 |
At this particular time in history, prostitution was a given. 00:14:13.040 |
If a man is at home and he's not satisfied with his one wife or maybe even his concubines, 00:14:19.960 |
he will be free to go to the local temple and just buy a prostitute and do what he does 00:14:32.760 |
In fact, it would be probably difficult to find somebody who didn't practice this. 00:14:38.600 |
He's speaking in that context where this is uniquely Christian, where he's saying, if 00:14:43.200 |
you've made a vow as a follower of Christ and you made a vow to your wife, that you 00:14:51.320 |
What he means is, he's talking about an individual who is faithful to the things that he has 00:14:59.000 |
Every single person in this room, or not every single person, but all of you who were married 00:15:07.440 |
And I know for a fact, Joe and Laura were the first ones at our church that got married. 00:15:12.480 |
And the vows that they took are the vows that everybody else took. 00:15:18.000 |
I'm pretty sure that Pastor Mark and Pastor Aaron, at least while they were here, they 00:15:24.560 |
So the vows that you took, you men in particular, I'm going to read it back to you, just so 00:15:32.720 |
I, man, take woman as my lawfully wedded wife. 00:15:41.600 |
I promise to love her sacrificially as Christ loved the church. 00:15:49.160 |
Every single guy who stood and took that vow is that you vowed to love sacrificially. 00:15:57.200 |
Not just love because they love us and because they're doing things for us. 00:16:01.000 |
It's sacrificially as Christ loved the church. 00:16:04.440 |
I will protect and provide for her to the best of my ability. 00:16:08.760 |
Not to live selfishly, but that you would be a man and provide and take care of your 00:16:15.720 |
To the best of my ability from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for 00:16:20.720 |
poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. 00:16:25.320 |
So what Paul is saying here is that an overseer, an leader, must first be a man who takes his 00:16:37.680 |
That he's not a man who confesses one thing with his mouth and does something else with 00:16:43.040 |
And so even in our church, every member in our church signs a covenant. 00:16:47.280 |
And again, that covenant is not unique to Berean Community Church. 00:16:51.120 |
Nothing on that covenant, none of the 10 covenants that we ask you to commit to is unique to 00:16:56.280 |
It is a covenant that is required that every Christian that has a personal relationship 00:17:02.280 |
with Jesus Christ enters into and we ask you to renew that covenant every year. 00:17:07.820 |
So when he says an overseer is a man who takes his vow seriously, is that when he commits 00:17:17.600 |
That he's not just one thing with his mouth and then again, it's just like, well, that 00:17:21.800 |
I just, you know, what he says and what he does doesn't really match up. 00:17:26.320 |
So the first thing that he says, well, where is that proven? 00:17:32.160 |
First and foremost, a man who is above reproach is a man who takes his vow seriously. 00:17:39.240 |
So this morning I want to look at three things. 00:17:44.360 |
After he goes through that these are the qualifications of an elder, he says he must manage his own 00:17:52.960 |
If you look at the qualifications of an elder, everything that he says is a character. 00:17:58.960 |
And we oftentimes take that one statement, able to teach and say, well, an elder has 00:18:05.560 |
to be, you know, he needs to be sober minded, self-controlled, respectful, hospitable, not 00:18:10.600 |
And then we say, well, one ability he's able to teach. 00:18:12.880 |
I don't think able to teach is simply talking about a skill to be able to articulate doctrine. 00:18:19.160 |
I think that also is talking about character. 00:18:22.000 |
If there's any particular thing that the scripture says, like he needs to be skilled at, I think 00:18:28.880 |
He must be able to manage his own household well. 00:18:33.720 |
With all dignity, keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage 00:18:37.920 |
his own household, how will he care for God's church? 00:18:41.440 |
So I'm going to go through three reasons why an elder must first be a good husband or a 00:18:50.720 |
Because at the core of what makes you qualified to lead a church, he says is first and foremost, 00:19:01.040 |
One, the home is the most and best place to prove your character. 00:19:08.800 |
The home is the most, is the best place to prove your character. 00:19:13.560 |
See, look at all the characteristics that are mentioned here. 00:19:16.520 |
He must be sober minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not 00:19:21.720 |
a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 00:19:27.760 |
Now this morning here, you know, it's 11 o'clock. 00:19:30.320 |
So if you are drowsy at 11 o'clock, you are sleeping way too late. 00:19:35.800 |
Or maybe you have an infant at home and so you have a good excuse. 00:19:39.720 |
But if that's not the case, you should prepare yourself. 00:19:45.400 |
Now as a pastor, I've been preaching here for many years, so I can kind of tell if you 00:19:51.480 |
guys are paying attention or not paying attention. 00:19:54.920 |
You know, the older you are, the better you are at faking it. 00:20:00.120 |
And you know, when I preach in front of older people, like people in their 40s and 50s and 00:20:05.400 |
You know, they're saying straight out, they might even say amen every once in a while, 00:20:11.200 |
But the younger you are, you know, because I don't, many of you are surprised when I 00:20:37.920 |
Some of you may not be paying attention at all. 00:20:39.200 |
You have no idea what I said up to this point. 00:20:42.320 |
You just drank coffee, so you're just not falling asleep. 00:20:46.320 |
Now, I've spoken in front of junior high school students where they just straight up lied 00:20:59.120 |
Whether you're sober or not sober, whether your mind is filled with things of this world, 00:21:03.040 |
whether you are passionately pursuing God, what is in your heart, on Sunday morning, 00:21:15.520 |
Nobody came out, you know, just rolled out of bed with your hair all sticking up, you 00:21:21.940 |
So Sundays are not the best place to judge whether somebody is sober or not sober. 00:21:33.080 |
No matter what the reputation is at church, your husband, your wife knows. 00:21:39.680 |
If you're reading the Bible, not reading the Bible. 00:21:42.240 |
If you've been in prayer or not been in prayer. 00:21:44.660 |
If you're sober or not sober, your wife knows. 00:21:48.920 |
You can fake it for a short period of time, but not for long. 00:21:55.280 |
Are you giving yourself, of course, you know, every single one of you here is self-controlled. 00:21:59.520 |
Nobody's standing up saying, you know, doing whatever your flesh desires on Sunday morning. 00:22:05.160 |
You get into your car, you know, when the pastor's not there, when the leaders are not 00:22:09.840 |
there and your Christian friends are not there, right? 00:22:14.340 |
You just kind of give in to whatever desires that you have. 00:22:18.880 |
In fact, the longer you've been a Christian, the more, you know, the better you are at 00:22:27.240 |
You know what you should say or shouldn't say. 00:22:28.840 |
That's why when a young Christian comes into the church, it's so refreshing. 00:22:31.920 |
You know, things that come out of their mouth, they're like, oh my gosh, but they don't know 00:22:36.800 |
But they're just, they're just, they're just honest. 00:22:40.160 |
But the longer we've been a Christian, we know how you should dress, what not to wear, 00:22:44.960 |
what to say, what not to say, you know, like the Trinity and the church. 00:22:50.040 |
I mean, we know how to play this game, but the true test of a character, you can see 00:22:56.880 |
with the people who are the closest to you, which is at home. 00:23:00.640 |
You know, the older we get, we know how to play this game. 00:23:02.760 |
You know, if Esther cooks something that I think maybe it's too salty or it's not salty 00:23:09.160 |
And she asked me, and I try to be as honest with her as possible, but, but I know, like, 00:23:13.280 |
I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to hurt myself. 00:23:26.120 |
You know, if you prepared a meal and your kids don't like it, especially the younger 00:23:31.120 |
Like the older ones at my house, like Jeremy, he kind of knows he's, he's 18. 00:23:44.880 |
Your mom's been laboring for three hours to cook this. 00:23:48.800 |
You know, whoever you are, whatever you are, you can't fake it at home. 00:23:52.760 |
You can't fake it with your wife and you definitely can't fake it with your kids. 00:23:57.220 |
Your kids will tell you right away who you are. 00:24:03.520 |
Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to, right? 00:24:11.120 |
You can fake it outside, but you can't fake it at home. 00:24:14.800 |
And to be a leader, that's why he says, first and foremost, you have to be a leader at home. 00:24:19.200 |
You have to be a father who is respected at home. 00:24:23.680 |
I remember years ago, the very first ministry I was a youth pastor in, and this pastor was 00:24:33.660 |
They had, it was a Korean church and I was a youth pastor. 00:24:35.940 |
So every morning at 5.30, there was morning prayer. 00:24:38.440 |
So it wasn't required, but I enjoyed going because the pastor was such a great preacher 00:24:47.960 |
You know, he's preaching Leviticus 5.30 in the morning, you know, but I was gaining so 00:24:53.300 |
much and I thought, man, this, this was a brand new church. 00:24:57.000 |
People are going to come and, and this church is going to grow quickly. 00:25:02.460 |
I remember one day I was at his house and we were having a meeting and we're having 00:25:06.680 |
a meeting and you could tell his wife was not happy. 00:25:11.320 |
And every time the pastor would say something, you could, you could see in the, in the pastor's 00:25:19.480 |
And so, you know, as the night went by, you could just see the tension between the husband 00:25:23.360 |
and wife to the extent where everything that he said was nullified by the expression of 00:25:29.600 |
I don't know what was going on at home, you know, and I was a, I was pretty young. 00:25:33.360 |
I was 19, 20 years old at that time, so, you know, I don't know the dynamics of marriage 00:25:37.360 |
and all that stuff, but I just remember the picture that I had of the pastor at the church 00:25:42.120 |
and the picture I had of him at home was night and day. 00:25:48.400 |
Who we are in private gives us the foundation to be able to be who we are in public. 00:25:55.620 |
But if our public life and private life does not match, eventually we will be disqualified. 00:26:01.520 |
That's why in 1 Timothy 5, 22, it says, "Do not be hasty in laying hands of others, nor 00:26:08.560 |
And then he says, "Some sins are obvious, but some sins trail behind them." 00:26:18.500 |
They may look a certain way in the front, because everybody knows how to play this game. 00:26:24.180 |
But if there is hidden sin, if someone is not gracious at home, if he is not a proven 00:26:29.280 |
to be a leader at home, eventually it will leak out. 00:26:34.320 |
And that's why he says, "Take your time to test a person. 00:26:38.900 |
Take your time to see the inside and the out." 00:26:44.200 |
Second reason why, he says, "This is a place where we learn to lead." 00:26:50.080 |
And so, leadership is not just something that, you know, in character, but again, he's talking 00:26:54.040 |
about he needs to be able to manage his own household, that the children must be submissive 00:27:05.740 |
If he can't earn the respect of his children at home, how is he going to earn the respect 00:27:12.080 |
He must be proven, first and foremost, at home. 00:27:14.720 |
Now, John MacArthur says, of leadership, there are three qualities that every leader needs 00:27:20.600 |
to have, whether it is at home or whether it is at church. 00:27:28.000 |
Authority obviously at church comes from the Word of God, right? 00:27:31.680 |
But it doesn't only come from the Word of God, because you can be speaking the truth 00:27:34.960 |
of the Word of God, and your life in the pulpit and outside the pulpit don't match, then you 00:27:44.000 |
So a person who is articulate and give great messages can go from church to church to church, 00:27:50.000 |
and give great messages and be honored, saying, "Wow, you are a man of God." 00:27:55.280 |
But somebody who is in the church day in and day out, where they know your private life 00:27:58.440 |
and your public life, if your life does not match the things that you are preaching up 00:28:03.840 |
in the pulpit, eventually no one is going to care what you have to say. 00:28:10.240 |
That's why I believe that statement, "able to teach," is not simply talking about the 00:28:17.800 |
Able to teach is that his character, his life, his theology, all of that are consistent. 00:28:28.120 |
So that's why he says, if you can't disciple and bring a child to submission, and because 00:28:34.840 |
you have authority over his life, you're not going to be able to disciple that child. 00:28:42.920 |
Wisdom as to when to squeeze, when to let go. 00:28:48.000 |
When to preach the truth, when to preach love, when to demand holiness, when to be gracious. 00:28:57.480 |
If you are gracious when it's time to bring discipline, then you will ruin the child. 00:29:03.400 |
If you bring discipline when he needs grace, you will also ruin the child. 00:29:22.520 |
Love tends to come and overflow from people who are broken. 00:29:32.880 |
And that's the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness. 00:29:36.280 |
A righteous person is somebody who is broken because he recognizes his own sin, and he 00:29:44.760 |
A self-righteous person is a person who doesn't recognize his own faults. 00:29:50.080 |
And he sees all that he has done, and everybody else who's not living up to it, and so he 00:29:59.720 |
A good leader, a biblical leader, must have authority, he must have wisdom, and he must 00:30:06.480 |
Just like children, if they only obey me because they're afraid of me, at some point they're 00:30:11.800 |
going to stop obeying me, because at some point I'm not going to be stronger than them. 00:30:17.160 |
Especially with today's technology, you know, creatine, amino acids, you know, they get 00:30:26.960 |
Building up muscle, Zachary's like, you know, he's bulking up, and you know what I mean? 00:30:31.840 |
Like a couple years, he's going to flip me over. 00:30:34.280 |
If my authority is coming from, you know, my strength, and he's afraid of me, at some 00:30:42.920 |
His authority, eventually, as they mature, comes from love. 00:30:49.360 |
Because they know how much we care about them. 00:30:51.760 |
That even when we speak harshly, they know we're speaking because it's what's best for 00:30:57.920 |
And this must be first and foremost proven at home. 00:31:01.640 |
That we learn to be disciple makers first and foremost at home. 00:31:06.840 |
You know, every stage of parenting, you know, I had to adjust, and I know there's a few 00:31:11.680 |
people in this room have raised teenagers and beyond. 00:31:18.240 |
And infancy is kind of like, you know, our church was planted, some of you guys, most 00:31:24.880 |
of you guys know, but some of you guys don't know, that our church was planted on the day, 00:31:29.600 |
not planted, but inaugurated on the day that my first son was born. 00:31:36.640 |
And so as our church matured and grew, I can see the correlation between our church and 00:31:46.320 |
It's like everything's new, you don't know what you're doing, especially when you had 00:31:50.320 |
You call the doctor, every time he coughs, something went wrong. 00:31:53.240 |
And it's kind of like the church plant, initially, right? 00:31:56.320 |
I remember the first time doing baptism, I had no idea what I was doing, I just did it. 00:32:00.720 |
I literally had to watch videos, oh, this is what they do, right? 00:32:07.520 |
At toddler stage is when people just kind of start to go off and venture, and they're 00:32:12.880 |
testing out everything, and you kind of have to go and sit and talk to people, it's like, 00:32:16.760 |
don't do that, you can't get drunk, you can't do that. 00:32:19.280 |
You're chasing after these toddlers who are sticking fingers into the walls, you can't 00:32:24.760 |
There's a stage in the church where, in the context of discipling, you have to talk to 00:32:28.800 |
them about, you can't do this, and don't go here, don't say that. 00:32:33.720 |
I think the hardest stage in raising kids is probably the teenage stage. 00:32:39.440 |
Because teenage stage is where they're physically big enough, and you know, they're not afraid 00:32:46.880 |
If you're spanking them when they're teenagers, I don't know, maybe it works, it doesn't 00:32:53.640 |
They're not afraid of pain, in fact, they could inflict pain if they wanted to at that 00:32:58.640 |
But teenage stage is the most difficult because they think they're adults and they're not 00:33:03.440 |
You know, and that's the most dangerous part of the spiritual stage. 00:33:09.120 |
Some of you guys are sitting there, saying, yeah, I remember those people. 00:33:15.440 |
The teenage stage is the stage when we think we're more mature than we really are, and 00:33:20.440 |
that's when we're the most dangerous, you know. 00:33:24.160 |
And I remember, you know, when Jeremy first started driving his car, he started having 00:33:27.320 |
freedom and he was talking about how he wanted to go here. 00:33:29.880 |
Obviously, now he has freedom, he can go anywhere he wants. 00:33:32.600 |
He's like going to New York and San Francisco, traveling, backpacking in Europe, and he's 00:33:36.920 |
talking about all this stuff, and I said, Jeremy, you know, that's great, you know, 00:33:41.680 |
and at some point, I will feel comfortable when you do that, I'm just going to have to 00:33:47.760 |
I said, I know how to, you know, I'm grown up. 00:33:51.280 |
And I remember I asked him, if you get a flat tire, what are you going to do? 00:34:00.640 |
If you're driving in New York and you got a flat tire, what would you do? 00:34:11.920 |
If you get a flat tire, what are you going to do? 00:34:20.160 |
Just a simple thing as a flat tire is going to ruin your vacation or whatever. 00:34:24.200 |
But that's why I'm saying, I'm not saying you can't do it, and it's a simple fix, but 00:34:29.000 |
You may go in with a flat tire, and you may come out with four brand new tires, right? 00:34:55.720 |
That's probably the most dangerous stage, right? 00:35:08.440 |
During the teenage stage, you have to be patient, and you have to love them. 00:35:12.920 |
It's aggravating and frustrating, but you have to kind of endure through that, because 00:35:17.960 |
Whenever I hear a young guy saying, I want to be a pastor because I like to teach. 00:35:22.840 |
That's like saying, I want to be a parent because I like to read to my kids. 00:35:29.080 |
A parent has to be ready to do whatever it takes. 00:35:37.360 |
Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night, and you have to be the nurse or the 00:35:41.000 |
You have to learn how to change their diapers. 00:35:44.920 |
You don't come into a parenting and be a father and say, this is what I want to do when I'm 00:35:57.400 |
If you come into pastoring or leadership in the church thinking like, oh, this is what 00:36:06.960 |
Again, he's proven first and foremost at home. 00:36:10.040 |
The third and final reason, which I believe is the most important out of the three, is 00:36:14.880 |
that the curse of the law was first revealed in the home. 00:36:19.800 |
So the reversal of the curse is first practiced at home. 00:36:24.320 |
If you remember in Genesis 3, verse 7, after they fall into temptation and the curse comes 00:36:33.880 |
Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed fig 00:36:38.200 |
leaves together and made themselves loincloths. 00:36:41.960 |
And then in chapter 3, verse 10 through 11, it says, and he said, Adam is speaking to 00:36:47.840 |
He said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I 00:36:55.520 |
Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat? 00:36:58.260 |
So in the three verses, this fall, this death, this curse that we talk about is described 00:37:09.200 |
So the first thing that we know is that nakedness is basically covering ourselves. 00:37:13.860 |
Every single one of us, the most tangible evidence of the fall is that you are not naked. 00:37:26.880 |
The reason, again, why Mickey Mouse has pants on is because a human being drew him. 00:37:34.440 |
Whenever you see a dog walking around with clothing on, you know that some person did 00:37:39.560 |
No dog woke up in the morning and said, I need to wear pants. 00:37:44.920 |
So the fact that you and I dressed up this morning is the most tangible evidence of the 00:37:50.840 |
Because the first thing that happened was, their eyes got open and they recognized their 00:37:56.640 |
The word naked here in Hebrew literally means shameful exposure. 00:38:02.040 |
Why did they all of a sudden recognize, oh, it's shameful to uncover certain parts of 00:38:08.600 |
It was, even though it was manifested physically, it was something happening spiritually. 00:38:14.980 |
And as a result of this hiding, what happened? 00:38:22.360 |
None of you have a problem being naked in the shower. 00:38:26.080 |
You don't wear pants because you're ashamed of yourself. 00:38:31.840 |
Adam was hiding from his wife and his wife was hiding from her husband. 00:38:40.680 |
That's the first place where this shame is recognized. 00:38:44.760 |
Where the fall was tangibly seen was between husband and wife. 00:38:51.360 |
You know, we have a tendency to think we romanticize marriage. 00:38:54.280 |
We think once we get married, you know, me and my husband, we're going to finish each 00:38:58.520 |
other's sentences and we're just going to be so one. 00:39:08.400 |
You get married and you realize, I mean, probably the greatest problem that husband and wife 00:39:17.080 |
You know, even, forget finishing each other's sentence. 00:39:21.600 |
You can write them a letter, draw them a picture, and they don't get you. 00:39:25.680 |
You can spend hours talking about, that's not what I said. 00:39:33.360 |
You can have years of conversations like, how come you don't get it? 00:39:44.400 |
The very first thing that happened between when the fall came in was that they hid from 00:39:49.880 |
each other and that was the most tangible evidence. 00:39:54.240 |
And as a result of that, they're first born, is born into sin, and then again and again 00:40:01.400 |
So when we were affected by the cross, the very first place where the reversal of this 00:40:12.880 |
Before the church, before anywhere else, is with my wife and my kids. 00:40:18.040 |
That all of these things that God challenges me to do, it must first be practiced at home. 00:40:27.840 |
Every single one of us, because we've been born into a sinful, fallen world. 00:40:34.400 |
You know, if you go to a psychologist, they'll say, "Oh, why do you behave that way? 00:40:41.000 |
And they'll trace your life and say, "Well, your father was an addict. 00:40:46.440 |
And we can all trace back our behavior and say, "We do this because they've done this 00:40:57.440 |
You know, my parents did this, and my grandparents did that." 00:41:02.040 |
Every single human being that's born into a sinful world has been sinned against, and 00:41:10.280 |
And there's also sin inside of us that causes us to sin. 00:41:13.720 |
But no Christian, no child of God, can now use that as an excuse for our sin. 00:41:26.600 |
Because every human being, if you kick me, I kick somebody else, and it goes on and on 00:41:31.020 |
But Jesus Christ, it says, absorbs sin upon Himself. 00:41:34.520 |
And instead of bringing judgment, He brought love and grace. 00:41:39.080 |
Galatians 3.13, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, 00:41:43.080 |
for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.'" 00:41:46.520 |
He became a curse for us, that we would no longer live in response of this curse. 00:41:53.360 |
So where is this reversal of the curse first practiced and actualized? 00:42:04.960 |
And that's why He says an elder must first be proven in his home before he can lead in 00:42:16.940 |
You can't use your husband's behavior to be a bad wife. 00:42:21.160 |
You can't use your wife's behavior to be a bad husband. 00:42:25.080 |
You can't use your children's sin to be a bad parent. 00:42:29.880 |
Because every single one of us hit the spiritual lottery. 00:42:34.860 |
How can we possibly be complaining about a few bucks when we hit the lottery? 00:42:40.580 |
When He is our Abba Father, that no matter what happens in life, that that will never 00:42:47.140 |
What can separate us from this love of Christ? 00:42:50.200 |
He who did not spare His own Son, how will He along with Him give us everything? 00:42:55.260 |
If He is our Abba Father, how can we possibly complain about the trivial things? 00:43:00.380 |
So therefore, therefore, because He loved me, I'm obligated. 00:43:08.500 |
Because He loved me, I'm obligated to love you. 00:43:10.380 |
Not because you love me, but because He loved me. 00:43:16.740 |
Not because they're beautiful, not because they're lovely, not because they have potential, 00:43:25.220 |
And at the core of a good marriage, at the core of a good father, He's a person who has 00:43:34.700 |
I want to conclude with a challenge to the men in our congregation. 00:43:38.580 |
Whether you are a father, whether you are married, or whether you're a single guy. 00:43:52.100 |
Men who understand the responsibility that's not just on my shoulder as a pastor, not just 00:43:59.900 |
my shoulder as a father, to set an example, but every man that has been given the authority, 00:44:06.100 |
every man who takes the vow to love my wife sacrificially, to understand that revival 00:44:14.620 |
will come when men experience revival in their lives. 00:44:25.860 |
Men who are not going to live their lives thinking about, "How can I be satisfied? 00:44:32.340 |
But to recognize that that responsibility for your wife, for your children, for your 00:44:36.540 |
community has been placed on your shoulders, and when men become men, I believe revival 00:44:45.660 |
That we not look to the left or to the right, but each man stands before God and say, "Lord, 00:44:54.620 |
What do I have to be in my home that I can make disciples of my wife and my children?" 00:45:01.440 |
As we celebrate Father's Day, I pray that God would raise up men in our generation. 00:45:13.380 |
And the aroma of Christ will be so strong in our community that our wives and our children 00:45:25.380 |
May I ask the praise team to come up as we prepare for the communion table. 00:45:35.680 |
Just as motherhood is important and it is tiring at times and draining, and fatherhood, 00:45:47.960 |
And they need encouragement, they need your prayers, and they need grace. 00:45:53.240 |
Because it is a high calling, we need the community to lift up the men in our church, 00:45:57.600 |
and because we're weak, at the core of who we are, we're selfish.