back to index2022-01-23 Jimmy Jin Baptism Testimony
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I attended Sunday school, Friday night Bible studies, church outings, any event that was 00:00:14.160 |
Sometimes I attended out of a desire to see my friends and sometimes out of a grumbling 00:00:21.680 |
I knew the right answers to questions, knew how to construct a rhetorically sound prayer, 00:00:29.080 |
And over time, I began equating my attendance and participation with being a Christian and 00:00:35.640 |
I was baptized before in seventh grade, but not as a believer. 00:00:38.880 |
I got baptized because everybody else was doing it. 00:00:41.640 |
I got baptized because I wanted to try crackers and grape juice. 00:00:45.000 |
I had no concept of my hell bound fate, the gospel, and proclaiming Jesus as my savior 00:00:51.340 |
As such, there's no change in my faith or relationship with the Holy God. 00:00:55.680 |
During high school, I grew more in my knowledge about God and the gospel. 00:00:59.400 |
During a Christmas youth gathering sophomore year of high school, God softened my heart 00:01:05.080 |
I remember being so moved, even in tears, but instead of seeking God afterwards, my 00:01:09.600 |
yearning for God was tainted by the pursuit of emotion. 00:01:12.880 |
Over time, I started to see my sin and need for God in my junior and senior year and was 00:01:19.400 |
I was moved to emotion, but never to lay down my life. 00:01:22.640 |
I started to lead worship for the youth group, went to prayer meetings, led some Bible studies. 00:01:28.600 |
Ironically, when leading these Bible studies, I did not study the Bible on my own, but watched 00:01:33.120 |
YouTube sermons on the same passage and regurgitated whatever the pastor said. 00:01:38.000 |
Unknowingly, my faith was superficial, based on spiritual highs, sure lived emotions, and 00:01:44.680 |
I became familiar with Jesus as savior, but disregarded his lordship. 00:01:49.200 |
I thought I placed Jesus as lord over my life, but in reality, I surrendered when it was 00:01:55.240 |
convenient to surrender, I obeyed when it was easy to obey. 00:01:59.200 |
I found myself justifying my decision to choose myself and my idols with moments when I surrendered 00:02:06.040 |
I was trying to patch up my insecurities and compensate my lack of a genuine faith with 00:02:12.680 |
I wanted to prove to others, to myself, and to God that I was mature in my faith, that 00:02:19.480 |
When I came to Berean this past August, Pastor Nate talked about Matthew 7, 22 to 23. 00:02:24.240 |
"Lord, Lord, do we not prophesy in your name and in your name cast out demons and in your 00:02:37.480 |
I was always aware of this passage, but because of my pride, I overlooked it, thinking it 00:02:41.920 |
was reserved for hypocrites, people who acted a certain way at church, but a different way 00:02:47.440 |
I didn't think it was talking about me, someone who led worship, someone who went on mission 00:02:52.000 |
trips, someone who helped with VBS, or someone who was doing a Bible in a year reading plan. 00:02:58.680 |
God cut my heart with his word and showed the prideful ground I stood on. 00:03:01.760 |
During the past few months, I've continually wrestled and reflected on my Christian life. 00:03:06.560 |
I feared going to hell and was ashamed because everything I did in the past, the worship, 00:03:10.920 |
the mission trips, the blemish service, robbed God of his glory, and was polluted by selfish 00:03:16.520 |
The chasm between a sinful man and a holy God became uncomfortably clear to me. 00:03:21.080 |
Ephesians 2 says, "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins." 00:03:25.760 |
And Romans 3.23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." 00:03:32.520 |
However, at the same time God revealed his holiness in my sinfulness, God illuminated 00:03:39.780 |
The mercy and grace of God through Jesus was the only way I could be redeemed. 00:03:43.680 |
Only Jesus could bridge the impossible divide between man and God. 00:03:47.720 |
First Peter 1.18-19 says, "Knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like 00:03:52.600 |
silver or gold from your futile way of life, inherited from your forefathers, but with 00:03:57.560 |
precious blood as of a lamb, unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ." 00:04:01.840 |
It is the work of Jesus and his purchase with his blood that washes my sins. 00:04:08.400 |
And through his resurrection, I'm alive again with a life that is not my own. 00:04:13.400 |
Jesus bought my life and is rightfully Lord of it. 00:04:16.160 |
I'm still learning to let go of certain areas of my life to and for Christ and his kingdom, 00:04:22.840 |
Not in my own merit or resolve, but solely in the ultimate display of unceasing and undeserved