back to index2020-7-12 Hannah Chong baptism
00:00:00.000 |
Hi, my name's Hannah. I'm married to Matt Chong and we have currently two boys, Toby 00:00:08.120 |
and Adam. Growing up, I struggled constantly with insecurity and feelings of worthlessness. 00:00:16.120 |
A large part of that was due to the fact that my dad was not in my life for the most of 00:00:20.080 |
my childhood. His absence made me question my worth and led me to seek affirmation and 00:00:29.640 |
love in other things. I grew angry and bitter and hated being at home where it was a constant 00:00:39.400 |
reminder of the things I did not have and the struggles my mom, my brother, and I faced. 00:00:44.920 |
In junior high, I started attending a church where I heard for the first time that God 00:00:48.920 |
loved me. Hearing that gave me such an emotional response and I really clung to that message 00:00:53.480 |
and tried to maintain that emotional high however I could. The church was highly charismatic 00:00:59.920 |
and the really loud and intense worship nights and the scripture passages emphasizing God's 00:01:03.880 |
love fed into those feelings. I got really involved and also got baptized but didn't 00:01:09.120 |
understand the role of my own sins in the gospel nor did I exhibit any remorse leading 00:01:14.560 |
to repentance and change in my own life. I was one person at church, happy and praising 00:01:19.720 |
the Lord and then at home angry, bitter, and mean to my own family. I was told over and 00:01:24.480 |
over that God loved me and he accepted me but despite how good I would feel initially, 00:01:29.720 |
these emotions didn't have true substance based on actual scripture or an understanding 00:01:33.740 |
of the need for repentance. Eventually, as all emotions do, the feelings would fade and 00:01:38.880 |
I was still the same insecure, bitter, angry person who struggled with feelings of worthlessness. 00:01:45.620 |
In college, I attended a completely different type of church. It was reformed, Presbyterian, 00:01:50.100 |
and emphasized teaching the Bible and the gospel. It was eye-opening to see the Bible 00:01:54.200 |
presented that way and how everything pointed to Christ and again, I became really involved 00:01:58.420 |
at the church, learning about Tulip, going through catechism, small groups, and even 00:02:02.080 |
leading groups myself. But while my head was being filled with knowledge, it made absolutely 00:02:06.540 |
no impact in my personal life. I didn't connect the fact that my sins were the reason I needed 00:02:11.640 |
the gospel and a savior in the first place. I lived such a hypocritical life, claiming 00:02:16.180 |
that I understood what the Bible said and yet showing no fruit. I was still angry and 00:02:21.280 |
bitter, pretty much neglected my family and using school and work as an excuse to not 00:02:26.000 |
visit home. Trying to fill the void, I turned to relationships. With no regard for consequences, 00:02:31.440 |
I did whatever I could to win their affections. I soaked it in whenever they reciprocated 00:02:35.880 |
and became utterly devastated when they didn't. And after all these relationships eventually 00:02:40.320 |
ended, I was again left with the same emptiness, the same sins, and the same feeling of worthlessness. 00:02:47.440 |
After I moved back from San Diego, I started to attend Berean and I remember listening 00:02:50.900 |
to Pastor Peter preach the first Sunday I visited. And I heard for the first time a 00:02:54.800 |
message that explained that God was holy. His standard was perfection and I was a depraved 00:02:59.480 |
sinner. It dawned on me that this was the aspect of the gospel message I had missed 00:03:04.320 |
completely. Week after week, I learned that the main character of the story was not me, 00:03:08.680 |
but God. I learned that my sins were not small or harmless, but instead were giant stains 00:03:14.000 |
that I had no hope of washing away on my own. Suddenly, things started to fall into place. 00:03:19.560 |
Why I wasn't able to find satisfaction or peace in all these other things I pursued, 00:03:23.560 |
even within the church. My motives and desires were all led by my own selfishness to attain 00:03:27.880 |
the things that I wanted, yet the biggest issue I needed to deal with was the fact that 00:03:31.960 |
I was a sinner in need of forgiveness and reconciliation with my creator and God. God 00:03:37.080 |
opened my eyes to recognize that yes, I was unworthy. I was completely unworthy of receiving 00:03:42.720 |
anything from God but wrath. Everything I did was tainted with sin, but he in his great 00:03:48.840 |
compassion and mercy and love chose to send his very own son to become sin on my behalf 00:03:54.120 |
so that I could be reconciled to him. I had fought so hard to feel loved and accepted 00:03:59.240 |
by whatever means necessary. But now I know that I can rest in my identity as God's own 00:04:06.160 |
child. The rock of my salvation is the Lord and I now live with freedom knowing that my 00:04:14.200 |
sins are forgiven and I have been reconciled with my God. I can now live with the purpose 00:04:20.560 |
for which I was created, to glorify and honor God in all that I do. I have been crucified 00:04:26.200 |
with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now 00:04:30.800 |
live in the flesh, I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself up 00:04:35.160 |
for me. Galatians 2.20. Even more, God has helped me to see how he uses all things for 00:04:41.000 |
the good of those who love him, including the hurt I had with my dad and my past. He 00:04:45.720 |
truly wastes nothing and everything he ordains in my life is for the purpose of my sanctification 00:04:50.760 |
and for his glory. He who did not spare his own son but delivered him over for us all, 00:04:55.960 |
how will he not freely give us all things? Romans 8.32. I still remember reading the 00:05:01.920 |
parable of the hidden treasure and I read it as if with new eyes. From Matthew 13.44 00:05:07.240 |
it says, "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man 00:05:10.840 |
found and hid again, and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys 00:05:15.440 |
that field." I truly understand what the parable is saying, that once the gospel has 00:05:21.720 |
been revealed to someone, there is nothing too big to sacrifice in order to gain it, 00:05:25.840 |
including my very own life. Indeed, I know that I was called to die and to be resurrected 00:05:30.560 |
to new life in Christ. Philippians 3.7-11. But whatever things were gained to me, those 00:05:36.920 |
things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things 00:05:41.120 |
to be in loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom 00:05:45.720 |
I have suffered the loss of all things, but count them but rubbish, so that I may gain 00:05:49.880 |
Christ and may be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the 00:05:54.000 |
law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on 00:05:58.520 |
the basis of faith, that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship 00:06:03.000 |
of his sufferings, being conformed to his death in order that I may attain to the resurrection 00:06:09.440 |
Hannah, thank you for sharing your testimony with us. As we participate in this back, 00:06:37.440 |
we recognize that as you enter the water, symbolize your union with Christ's death. 00:06:42.760 |
As you come out of the water, symbolize your union with Christ's resurrection. I baptize 00:06:48.480 |
you now in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.