Why Save Sex for Marriage?
00:00:00.000 | [Music]
00:00:05.000 | A podcast listener writes in to ask this, "Pastor John, my girlfriend who is no longer a virgin continues to desire sex and thinks it is natural despite the fact that it's premarital.
00:00:15.000 | She wants me to have sex with her. However, I'm a virgin who wants to remain pure until marriage.
00:00:20.000 | My question is, if sex is so natural and normal, then why do we resist our humanity and restrain sex until marriage?"
00:00:27.000 | What would you say to this podcast listener, Pastor John?
00:00:30.000 | If she does not think it is a sin to have sex outside marriage, then you have a very ignorant and very foolish girl on your hands.
00:00:47.000 | This is really basic to Christianity, and if she thinks sex outside marriage is holy, then she's not a worthy candidate for marriage.
00:01:01.000 | And the relationship you are in, it seems, is certainly more than casual if she's wanting sex, so my counsel is move out of this relationship quickly.
00:01:17.000 | Point her to the Bible, suggest that she study it and be in a good mentoring relationship with a godly woman, and see if she matures in the truth.
00:01:32.000 | If she does think that it is sin, then you have a very selfish and even cruel girl on your hands because she not only is willing to sin herself and put her own soul at risk,
00:01:51.000 | but is trying to get you not only into bed, but into hell with her, and so put your soul at risk.
00:02:01.000 | And in either of these two cases, whether she's foolish and ignorant on the one hand, or selfish and cruel on the other hand,
00:02:11.000 | she may well be motivated by the thought that getting you to have sex with her may be her way of holding on to you.
00:02:20.000 | Since from her perspective, as long as you have not had sex, you're not bound to her.
00:02:27.000 | But saying all that is not what you asked. That's just what I felt when I read your question.
00:02:34.000 | It's not what you asked, even though I think it is what you should ask and what you need to hear.
00:02:40.000 | You asked, "If sex is so natural and normal, why do we resist our humanity and restrain it till marriage?"
00:02:53.000 | Now, I hope that question does not show a weakening of your conviction and courage.
00:03:00.000 | And if you feel yourself weakening, please read Proverbs 7, which describes your situation exactly.
00:03:10.000 | It says, Proverbs 7, 21, "With much seductive speech, she persuades him.
00:03:17.000 | With her smooth talk, she compels him. All at once he follows her.
00:03:24.000 | As an ox goes to the slaughter, as a stag is caught fast and an arrow pierces its liver, as a bird rushes into a snare,
00:03:36.000 | he knows not that it will cost him his life."
00:03:42.000 | If you don't think it's that serious, go back and read the words of Jesus and ask,
00:03:48.000 | "Why did he talk this way?" in Matthew 5, 29.
00:03:53.000 | If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, throw it away.
00:03:58.000 | For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
00:04:04.000 | Why does Jesus talk about hell in relation to sexual temptation?
00:04:08.000 | Because giving in to the seductive woman or man is like an ox going to the slaughter and a bird flying into a trap.
00:04:18.000 | It will cost him his life. Don't play with fire. Flee fire.
00:04:24.000 | Don't put your hand in it. Don't go to bed in fire.
00:04:28.000 | But here's the answer to your question.
00:04:31.000 | Okay, finally, I'm answering your question.
00:04:34.000 | We save sex for marriage precisely because it is natural and normal and beautiful,
00:04:45.000 | so that we can keep it that way, so that it does not become common and sordid and manipulative and diseased and cheap,
00:04:55.000 | but precious and personal and clean and sacred.
00:04:59.000 | You don't put fences around weeds. You put fences around gardens.
00:05:07.000 | We don't put our dirty socks under lock and key in the hotel room.
00:05:13.000 | We put our rings and our wallet in the safe.
00:05:17.000 | Holding sex until marriage doesn't make it unnatural. It makes it priceless.
00:05:25.000 | Another reason we save sex till marriage is that marriage is a picture of the covenant between Christ and His church,
00:05:34.000 | and sex in that picture is the most exquisite pointer in the covenant relationship
00:05:42.000 | to the indescribable pleasures that await our full fellowship with Christ in the age to come in covenant with Jesus.
00:05:51.000 | Sex outside marriage is a lie about Jesus and about His relationship to the church.
00:05:58.000 | It's a lie about where ultimate joy is to be found.
00:06:02.000 | And finally, Paul commands 1 Corinthians 6.18, "Flee from fornication."
00:06:10.000 | And then he gives this reason. Amazing.
00:06:13.000 | "Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person, the fornicator, sins against his own body."
00:06:26.000 | Now, I don't know all that that means, but it means at least there is a uniquely deep nature to this sin of fornication.
00:06:41.000 | And I think any woman who thinks this experience of sexual union can be offered indiscriminately
00:06:50.000 | is kidding herself about the depth of injury she is doing to her own soul.
00:06:59.000 | That's why it's protected. Keep your virginity, and don't put your neck in the noose of this seduction.
00:07:10.000 | Deeply sobering. Thank you, Pastor John.
00:07:12.000 | And for more on just how dangerous sexual sin is, see our recent episodes #431 and #426 in the Ask Pastor John Podcast Archive.
00:07:20.000 | You can find those episodes and over 450 others in our free app available in your app store.
00:07:26.000 | Well, I don't know about you, but my prayer life can always use a fresh motivation,
00:07:29.000 | and tomorrow we'll look at four very good reasons to pray.
00:07:33.000 | I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you tomorrow.
00:07:35.000 | [end]
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