Before You Tweet Criticism: Six Considerations
00:00:00.000 | Social media has become an inferno of insults and anger, and sometimes even professing Christians
00:00:10.000 | add to the rage without thinking about the foolishness of spewing verbal abuses.
00:00:15.560 | We need to do better.
00:00:16.860 | And this leads to today's question from a young man, a listener to the podcast who writes
00:00:20.100 | us this.
00:00:21.100 | "Hello Pastor John, thank you for taking my question.
00:00:22.920 | My father is a pastor who spends a lot of his time engaging with people on social media,
00:00:27.760 | often using demeaning and insulting language in the process.
00:00:31.720 | This can range anywhere from calling people liars for saying things he disagrees with
00:00:35.760 | to straight up calling them stupid.
00:00:39.020 | He seems to excuse his behavior with the mindset that it's not insulting if it's the truth,
00:00:44.560 | but it still makes me very uncomfortable to see this behavior from him both as my dad
00:00:48.100 | and as my pastor.
00:00:50.120 | In my view, it directly goes against scripture's call for us to not revile in return (1 Peter
00:00:55.760 | 23) but to bless, and for our speech to be always gracious, seasoned with salt (Colossians
00:01:02.960 | 4.6).
00:01:03.960 | I am a young Christian, and I know that my knowledge of spiritual matters is often lacking,
00:01:08.040 | but it's been burning my conscience to think that my dad might be engaging in sinful behavior
00:01:12.920 | online.
00:01:13.920 | I greatly would like to know your take on the matter.
00:01:16.640 | Pastor John, what would you have to say?"
00:01:17.640 | Let me try to make a few comments that our young friend can consider in the formation
00:01:24.800 | of his own understanding of how to speak and how to perhaps, in the end, approach his father
00:01:31.520 | in a humble and effective way.
00:01:36.480 | First, the very minimal expectation of our speech on social media should be that it is
00:01:44.480 | true, that it is factually true, biblically sound, and the more evident that truth, the
00:01:53.520 | better.
00:01:54.520 | Then people can see why it's true.
00:01:56.280 | Now, I say that's minimal, and the reason I stress that it is only minimal is that you
00:02:04.240 | can handle truth in ways that are sinful.
00:02:09.400 | Speaking truth doesn't guarantee that you are speaking righteously or lovingly.
00:02:15.600 | That's one of the main points of Job, chapter 3 through 31.
00:02:20.520 | I mean, 29 chapters of questionable theology.
00:02:24.440 | Lots of what Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were saying to Job was in one sense true.
00:02:30.000 | In fact, I'm reading through Job right now, and I just read a whole chapter.
00:02:32.800 | I was just scratching my head, saying, "What's wrong with that?
00:02:35.280 | What's wrong with that?
00:02:36.280 | That's what Eliphaz said."
00:02:38.120 | What was wrong with it was it was ill-timed, and it was lopsided.
00:02:43.520 | But you could probably justify most of the things he said by paralleling them with the
00:02:49.160 | Psalms.
00:02:50.160 | That book, I think, is in the Bible for many reasons, and one of them is to show that truth
00:02:56.440 | is not enough.
00:02:58.080 | Truth can be used unrighteously.
00:03:00.800 | Here's my second observation.
00:03:03.000 | Paul said in Ephesians 5:29, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such
00:03:10.760 | as is good for upbuilding, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
00:03:20.040 | So, besides being true, Paul says we should test what we say by whether it is aiming at
00:03:28.960 | building the other person up.
00:03:31.440 | And building up, in Paul's vocabulary, means helping them grow in their faith and in their
00:03:37.920 | understanding of Christ and in their love for other people and their holiness.
00:03:42.960 | In other words, the test is, "Am I aiming in my social media post, am I aiming to help
00:03:52.080 | the person that I'm talking to or talking about know God better, trust God more, love
00:04:00.880 | people better, walk in less sin and more holiness?"
00:04:06.480 | Now that leaves lots of room for criticism.
00:04:09.960 | I'm not saying you can't ever say anything critical about what somebody has said or done,
00:04:16.640 | but the test of Ephesians 5:29 is, "Are we aiming manifestly at the other person's
00:04:24.960 | Godward good?"
00:04:27.320 | That he says is the gracious way to speak.
00:04:31.080 | And then he adds that our speech should fit the occasion.
00:04:35.880 | In other words, it takes real wisdom to know how to use truth in the most effective way
00:04:43.400 | from situation to situation.
00:04:47.100 | And you can hear this in Proverbs 26, where it says in verse 7, "Like a lame man's
00:04:54.720 | legs, which hang useless, is a proverb in the mouth of fools."
00:05:00.800 | That's a true proverb.
00:05:01.960 | It just hangs there like useless legs in the mouth of a fool because he doesn't know
00:05:06.720 | the situation, doesn't know how to use it.
00:05:09.180 | Or verse 9, "Like a thorn that goes up into the hand of a drunkard is a proverb in
00:05:15.760 | the mouth of fools."
00:05:17.400 | In other words, a person may speak proverbial truth and his speaking may be perfectly useless
00:05:27.120 | or perfectly harmful, depending in part on whether it fits the occasion.
00:05:33.920 | Now here's my third observation.
00:05:36.760 | Fit the occasion has special implications for the Internet, social media.
00:05:43.400 | This calls for a peculiar kind of wisdom and restraint.
00:05:49.200 | And what's peculiar about this occasion called the Internet is that it is contextless.
00:05:57.300 | We don't have any control over who or how or where or when a person reads what we have
00:06:05.800 | written.
00:06:06.800 | There are thousands of different settings and emotional conditions and levels of maturity
00:06:13.840 | and states of spiritual height or depth and immediate experiences and on and on.
00:06:20.440 | In other words, we are unleashing our sentences into an unknown welter of occasions.
00:06:30.160 | And I'm not saying that this should shut us down entirely, but I am saying wisdom,
00:06:37.120 | speaking, as fits the occasion, should give us a certain restraint so that we are not
00:06:44.080 | indifferent to all the unknown effects what we may say may have.
00:06:51.920 | In fact, one of my biggest complaints about the way people use Twitter, for example, is
00:06:58.000 | that lots of what is said publicly for 10,000 people to read should be said privately to
00:07:07.320 | the person, not publicly.
00:07:09.060 | So many things are said to an individual.
00:07:13.360 | They are said to an individual for a grandstand of people to watch.
00:07:19.960 | You say it, and I don't get that.
00:07:21.700 | It really puzzles me.
00:07:22.700 | It makes me wonder, why do you want so many people to hear you say what you just said
00:07:29.000 | to that one individual?
00:07:31.700 | So we should ask ourselves, really, why do you want so many people to hear what you say
00:07:36.300 | to your friend?
00:07:37.300 | I think there's some deep stuff going on there that's not real healthy.
00:07:41.440 | I've tasted it in myself, and I see it in others.
00:07:45.200 | Here's my fourth observation or fourth suggestion, is that we measure what we say on social media
00:07:52.280 | by whether it communicates a heartfelt desire, not just that a person grow in their relation
00:07:59.480 | toward God, but that they realize we would like to have them as more unified with us
00:08:09.520 | than we presently are.
00:08:11.360 | In other words, when we criticize somebody for a viewpoint or an attitude, do they discern
00:08:19.560 | that behind that criticism we really would like the day to come when we could be friends?
00:08:27.600 | Or do they taste a kind of contempt that communicates, "Not only do I not like your opinion, but
00:08:36.000 | I wouldn't want to be around you even if you changed your opinion," which comes through.
00:08:40.600 | Do we want them?
00:08:41.600 | Do we want them?
00:08:42.600 | I hear this point in Ephesians 4, 1 to 3, where Paul says, "Walk in a manner worthy
00:08:48.840 | of your calling with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in
00:08:54.400 | love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
00:09:00.440 | In other words, no matter how seriously we feel we must take issue with somebody or some
00:09:06.760 | issue, do we give evidence that we really would like there to be peace?
00:09:13.120 | Yes, truth grounded.
00:09:15.120 | Truth grounded peace, but not just truth grounded, but truth grounded peace.
00:09:21.800 | Or do they pick up that what we really enjoy is combat, not reconciliation?
00:09:28.800 | And the fifth suggestion is that we take really seriously James 1:20, "Let every person be
00:09:35.440 | quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the
00:09:41.020 | righteousness of God."
00:09:43.400 | Of course, I'm not saying there is no occasion for righteous anger.
00:09:47.320 | I'm just saying that given the way we are sinfully made, wired by the fall, and very
00:09:56.120 | prone to defend ourselves, and very easily provoked and frustrated and angered, the words
00:10:03.080 | of James are really needed.
00:10:06.160 | Be slow to anger, slow to speak, because it's very, very, very—I'll say three and stop
00:10:16.120 | there—very, very, very likely that your anger is not righteous and mine isn't either,
00:10:22.560 | and will not produce the good you think it might.
00:10:26.500 | That text is a governor on our anger accelerator, and we need it.
00:10:34.580 | And the last criterion I would mention for speaking on social media is, can people detect
00:10:41.620 | that your heart is deeply content in and satisfied by the beauty and worth and greatness of Jesus?
00:10:51.440 | That's why we exist, to display Jesus Christ as the supreme treasure of the world.
00:10:59.480 | Do they taste that?
00:11:00.520 | Do they taste when they read or listen to what we say, I can tell they are very peacefully
00:11:08.800 | content and satisfied in Jesus?
00:11:12.840 | And I'll just close by saying to our young friend, if you find that these six observations
00:11:18.680 | I've just made might be helpful to you and your father, go to him with all humility and
00:11:27.800 | a deep awareness of your own sinfulness, as Galatians 6:1 says, and express to him your
00:11:35.000 | concern again, and ask him, perhaps, to read these points or listen to them or listen to
00:11:42.880 | you share them, and then don't pressure him.
00:11:47.360 | Don't call for some big immediate change, but you and I and others will pray together
00:11:53.640 | that perhaps his communications might conform in the future more closely to God's Word.
00:12:01.120 | Amen.
00:12:02.200 | Six considerations before we publish insults online.
00:12:04.740 | Those are really great.
00:12:05.740 | Thank you, Pastor John, for this list.
00:12:06.740 | And thank you for listening to the podcast today.
00:12:09.180 | You can ask a question of your own.
00:12:11.040 | You can search our entire archive of 1,600 past episodes, and you can subscribe to the
00:12:16.320 | podcast.
00:12:17.320 | You can do all of that at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.
00:12:18.320 | Well, we're going to break for the weekend and return on Monday with a very sensitive
00:12:25.160 | subject.
00:12:26.160 | We're going to hear from a young man with a long history of porn use, wondering what
00:12:29.840 | that history is going to do to his future marriage.
00:12:33.160 | Sobering.
00:12:34.160 | That's on Monday.
00:12:35.160 | I'm Tony Reinke.
00:12:36.160 | Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast with longtime pastor and author John
00:12:39.600 | Piper.
00:12:40.600 | Have a great weekend.
00:12:41.600 | We'll see you back here on Monday.
00:12:42.640 | [END]
00:12:43.140 | 1
00:12:44.140 | Desiring God, by John Piper, is a production of the Center for Spiritual Health and the