Do My Sins Hinder My Prayers?
00:00:00.000 | (music)
00:00:04.000 | Do all of our sins hinder our prayers?
00:00:08.000 | Today we address a really great listener email. Here it is. Hello, Pastor John.
00:00:12.000 | Thank you for this podcast. My name is Ryan. The Bible
00:00:16.000 | says dishonoring a wife will hinder a husband's
00:00:20.000 | prayers. We see this in 1 Peter 3, verse 7. Is this a
00:00:24.000 | particular dynamic for marriage only, or is this part of a
00:00:28.000 | larger principle of sin? Do all of our sins
00:00:32.000 | hinder the effectiveness of our prayers?
00:00:36.000 | The answer to the first question is no. Namely, is this
00:00:40.000 | a particular dynamic for marriage only?
00:00:44.000 | No. And we'll see why in just a minute. The answer
00:00:48.000 | to the second question is not necessarily.
00:00:52.000 | Do all our sins hinder
00:00:56.000 | the effectiveness of our prayers? Not necessarily.
00:01:00.000 | First, because God in His mercy
00:01:04.000 | may show a special grace
00:01:08.000 | by answering a prayer in spite of some of our sins,
00:01:12.000 | while at other times, He may show a
00:01:16.000 | disciplinary grace by withholding an answer to prayer.
00:01:20.000 | If God correlated the answers to our prayers
00:01:24.000 | precisely to our sins, we wouldn't get any
00:01:28.000 | answers to prayer. So we should never
00:01:32.000 | think that an answer to prayer signifies
00:01:36.000 | sinlessness. But we should not
00:01:40.000 | conclude from this that there's no correlation
00:01:44.000 | between our sinning and our
00:01:48.000 | answers to prayer. So Ryan's first question is
00:01:52.000 | whether the principle of 1 Peter 3:7 applies
00:01:56.000 | only in marriage or more broadly. Now here's what the
00:02:00.000 | verse says. Husbands, live with
00:02:04.000 | your wives in an understanding way, showing
00:02:08.000 | honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they
00:02:12.000 | are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your
00:02:16.000 | prayers may not be hindered.
00:02:20.000 | Now there are at least three possible meanings
00:02:24.000 | for the way prayers are hindered in this verse.
00:02:28.000 | First, it might be that the prayers that
00:02:32.000 | are being hindered are the prayers of the husband and the wife
00:02:36.000 | that they're supposed to pray together and that the
00:02:40.000 | failure of the husband to care for and respect his wife undermines that
00:02:44.000 | fellowship that they should have together so that they can't feel any
00:02:48.000 | harmony when they're together and so the prayers that they ought to be praying
00:02:52.000 | together don't happen. They don't pray together anymore because
00:02:56.000 | something's come between them because he's not doing what he's supposed to do
00:03:00.000 | in this verse. That's the first possible meaning. Here's the second one.
00:03:04.000 | It would be that the husband's prayers are hindered in
00:03:08.000 | that his heart is so selfish toward his
00:03:12.000 | wife that his actual praying
00:03:16.000 | not just the answers, but his praying is hindered.
00:03:20.000 | The praying itself doesn't come out of his heart anymore.
00:03:24.000 | In other words, he just stops praying. His heart is so wrong
00:03:28.000 | toward his wife, it doesn't want to approach God anymore
00:03:32.000 | in any kind of humble, needy way. He's just not praying anymore.
00:03:36.000 | And the third meaning would be that the man
00:03:40.000 | is praying, but that God is withholding
00:03:44.000 | answers to his prayers because his
00:03:48.000 | heart is not right toward his wife. Now I think in
00:03:52.000 | reality, all three of those are true.
00:03:56.000 | All those explanations of 1 Peter 3:7 are
00:04:00.000 | true in reality. In other words, if a husband fails to be
00:04:04.000 | kind and gentle and cherishing toward
00:04:08.000 | his wife as the weaker vessel, and if he fails to
00:04:12.000 | be respectful and esteeming and admiring of her
00:04:16.000 | as a fellow heir of the grace of life,
00:04:20.000 | all three of these hindrances are going to happen.
00:04:24.000 | One, the relationship is going to be undermined, and therefore
00:04:28.000 | the partnership in prayer will be threatened. Two,
00:04:32.000 | his own heart will begin to grow cold, and his own
00:04:36.000 | prayer life will dry up. And three, the answers
00:04:40.000 | to his prayers may be withheld because he's not showing mercy
00:04:44.000 | to his wife. Now, here's why
00:04:48.000 | I think all three of those are in fact
00:04:52.000 | reality. Going beyond 1 Peter now to show why they
00:04:56.000 | are true in reality. When Jesus says in Matthew
00:05:00.000 | 18, 19, that if two or three
00:05:04.000 | on earth agree about anything
00:05:08.000 | and they ask me, it will be done for them by my
00:05:12.000 | Father in heaven, he's pointing to a principle.
00:05:16.000 | A breakdown in horizontal fellowship
00:05:20.000 | where two or three can't agree anymore will result in a breakdown
00:05:24.000 | of vertical blessing from God. So if a husband and a wife
00:05:28.000 | become so spiritually distant from each other,
00:05:32.000 | Matthew 18, 19 implies they won't have
00:05:36.000 | the harmony together that calls down God's blessing. That's number one.
00:05:40.000 | Number two, when John writes in 1 John 4,
00:05:44.000 | 20, that he who does not love
00:05:48.000 | his brother whom he has seen cannot love
00:05:52.000 | God whom he has not seen, John is implying
00:05:56.000 | that failures of love at the horizontal
00:06:00.000 | level signal a breakdown of
00:06:04.000 | love toward God at the vertical level. In other words,
00:06:08.000 | the failure to love our wives, or other Christians for that
00:06:12.000 | matter, signals that we are losing
00:06:16.000 | our ability to go to God in love. We are not
00:06:20.000 | able to pray because we don't really love
00:06:24.000 | God. But I'm inclined to think that it's the
00:06:28.000 | third possible meaning of 1 Peter 3, 7 that Peter
00:06:32.000 | mainly has in mind, namely that if
00:06:36.000 | we go on sinning against our wives or against
00:06:40.000 | other Christians, we are shutting the door
00:06:44.000 | on the flow of grace toward us in answered
00:06:48.000 | prayer. James says, for example, in James 4, 3,
00:06:52.000 | "You ask and do not receive
00:06:56.000 | because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions."
00:07:00.000 | In other words, God sometimes withholds
00:07:04.000 | answers to prayer because we have sinful aims
00:07:08.000 | in our heart. Our prayer is not for the
00:07:12.000 | healing of a broken relationship. Our prayer is for some worldly
00:07:16.000 | advantage. Jesus put it most starkly
00:07:20.000 | in the Lord's Prayer when he said, "Forgive us our debts as
00:07:24.000 | we have forgiven our debtors," Matthew 6, 12.
00:07:28.000 | In other words, if you hold a grudge against your
00:07:32.000 | wife or treat other people unmercifully
00:07:36.000 | and then cry out to God for mercy, you're simply
00:07:40.000 | making a mockery out of God, and God will not be mocked.
00:07:44.000 | "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall
00:07:48.000 | be shown mercy," Matthew 5, 7. But the
00:07:52.000 | main reason I think this is probably
00:07:56.000 | what Peter has in mind when he speaks to husbands
00:08:00.000 | and says that their prayers are going to be hindered if they don't cherish
00:08:04.000 | their wives as they should, the main reason is because in the
00:08:08.000 | next paragraph, the very next verse, he begins
00:08:12.000 | by explaining the same principle is in play
00:08:16.000 | with regard to all Christians in all our relationships.
00:08:20.000 | Here's what he says, "Finally, all of you." So right after saying
00:08:24.000 | that the husbands aren't going to get answers to prayer if they are disrespectful to their
00:08:28.000 | wives, he says, "Finally, all of you have unity
00:08:32.000 | of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, tender heart, a humble mind.
00:08:36.000 | Don't repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the
00:08:40.000 | contrary, bless, for to this you were called that you may obtain a blessing."
00:08:44.000 | And then he starts to argue for that. He argues
00:08:48.000 | by quoting Psalm 34, 12 to 16, and listen to
00:08:52.000 | how the Psalm argues for how to get answered prayer.
00:08:56.000 | "For whoever desires to love life
00:09:00.000 | and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his
00:09:04.000 | lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him
00:09:08.000 | seek peace and pursue it because
00:09:12.000 | the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
00:09:16.000 | and his ears are open to their prayer.
00:09:20.000 | But the face of the Lord is
00:09:24.000 | against those who do evil." So
00:09:28.000 | husbands and all of us have just
00:09:32.000 | heard in verse 7 that the husbands' prayers are going to be
00:09:36.000 | hindered if they don't treat their wives with care
00:09:40.000 | and respect. And now, five verses later,
00:09:44.000 | Peter tells all of us the eyes
00:09:48.000 | of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayer.
00:09:52.000 | The righteous, he's open to the righteous in their prayer,
00:09:56.000 | but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. That's probably
00:10:00.000 | the same principle from marriage
00:10:04.000 | applied to all of us. So my conclusion, Ryan, is that
00:10:08.000 | the word to husbands is a word to
00:10:12.000 | everybody in principle. If in the
00:10:16.000 | relationships that God has given us, whether marriage or parenting
00:10:20.000 | or friendship or neighborliness or collegiality, if in
00:10:24.000 | any of those relationships we begin to act
00:10:28.000 | unlovingly, disrespectfully, unmercifully,
00:10:32.000 | unkindly, we may expect that God
00:10:36.000 | will, in mercy, withhold
00:10:40.000 | blessings when we pray.
00:10:44.000 | This will be a loving discipline for his children,
00:10:48.000 | and we should take it to heart and repent
00:10:52.000 | and walk worthily of his calling.
00:10:56.000 | Wonderful. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for the question, Ryan.
00:11:00.000 | If you have a question for us, go to DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn
00:11:04.000 | That's our homepage, and there you will see a button that says "Submit a Question,"
00:11:08.000 | and that will open up an email to us. Keep the great questions coming in, we really appreciate it.
00:11:12.000 | Well, we return on Wednesday to look at suffering, namely
00:11:16.000 | what can give us patience in the long, dragged-out,
00:11:20.000 | often unexpected trials of life amidst the circumstances, the detours,
00:11:24.000 | the delays that from our limited viewpoint make no
00:11:28.000 | sense to us. When our suffering drags on and it makes
00:11:32.000 | no sense to us, where can we find patience to endure?
00:11:36.000 | So important. It's critical, and it's up next time on
00:11:40.000 | Wednesday. I'm your host Tony Reinke, and Pastor John and I will see you then.
00:11:44.000 | Thanks for listening.
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