Is It Sinful to Be Pregnant Before Marriage?
00:00:00.000 | Here's a sensitive question we get not infrequently in the inbox and this time it comes from a nameless female listener who simply asks this
00:00:07.960 | Pastor John is it a sin to be pregnant before marriage?
00:00:12.980 | And pastor John, how do you go about answering such a sensitive question?
00:00:17.360 | one way to
00:00:19.520 | reframe this question
00:00:21.520 | Would be to ask are the effects of sin
00:00:25.840 | sin
00:00:27.880 | But when I when I thought that I thought no
00:00:31.360 | even that's not precise enough is it because
00:00:35.820 | Pregnancy before or outside of a marriage covenant
00:00:40.960 | may be owing to a woman's
00:00:44.680 | sin or
00:00:46.840 | may be owing to being sinned against like rape or
00:00:52.280 | both
00:00:54.640 | like if she
00:00:56.280 | Engaged willingly and he engaged willingly. They're both
00:00:58.960 | sinning she's being sinned against by a man who should take better care of her and she's sinning by
00:01:04.680 | Willingly participating but Paul says in in first Corinthians 618
00:01:10.080 | flee
00:01:12.680 | from sexual immorality the old translation
00:01:15.240 | fornication and we know from first Corinthians 7 - he's talking about
00:01:20.180 | extra
00:01:21.960 | marital sexual
00:01:23.960 | relations
00:01:25.360 | because he says
00:01:27.360 | because of the temptation to sexual immorality
00:01:30.640 | Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own
00:01:36.440 | Husband in other words sexual relations belong
00:01:39.920 | only in the safe
00:01:43.000 | holy
00:01:44.760 | beautiful
00:01:46.120 | Sanctuary of a marriage covenant between one man one woman while they both live
00:01:53.560 | So the the presence of a child in the womb
00:01:57.520 | Outside marriage is either the result of being sinned against in
00:02:03.920 | rape or
00:02:06.120 | the result of
00:02:07.760 | sinning
00:02:09.160 | Now back back to that original reframed question
00:02:12.760 | Assuming that this new mother of this unborn child did sin in
00:02:19.800 | having sexual relations outside
00:02:23.600 | The marriage covenant is the presence of this child in her womb
00:02:29.000 | Sinful is pregnancy or the child sin she asks
00:02:35.000 | The answer is no and let me surround that no
00:02:40.120 | with three observations
00:02:42.800 | to give some seriousness and
00:02:45.440 | Christ centered hope
00:02:48.200 | to this mother with an unplanned
00:02:52.200 | Pregnancy or to whoever else may be listening that way
00:02:56.560 | observation number one
00:02:59.760 | That there would be a stigma
00:03:02.040 | That attaches to pregnancy outside marriage is I think a good thing
00:03:08.040 | We have almost entirely lost it today
00:03:12.400 | because of the normalization of sexual immorality and
00:03:16.840 | Because of putting people's feelings above a call to holiness
00:03:22.320 | But having said that it is crucial that every Christian and every church
00:03:28.760 | Make clear that any stigma that attaches to pregnancy outside marriage is because the pregnancy
00:03:36.800 | signifies
00:03:39.080 | previous sin not because the pregnancy is
00:03:42.520 | Sin, and if there has been no previous sin say in the case of rape that should be handled
00:03:51.480 | really delicately and tenderly but
00:03:54.680 | Not I think in the church merely
00:03:58.440 | privately
00:04:00.280 | So I say again
00:04:02.280 | appropriate stigma
00:04:04.600 | attaches to a previous sin as its
00:04:07.800 | basis and to a present pregnancy only as a possible pointer to
00:04:14.200 | That sin and the reason that's important and hopeful hopeful
00:04:20.160 | Is is what follows in my second observation?
00:04:23.960 | Here's a second observation the second thing to say is that a woman's experience of shame
00:04:29.720 | Should also only attach to the previous sin not the present pregnancy
00:04:36.760 | one of the reasons for that for for that is because
00:04:42.440 | Sin can be forgiven because of Christ a woman can confess
00:04:50.040 | That sin and be cleansed of it so that the shame is overcome and taken away
00:04:56.120 | by the merciful cleansing grace of
00:04:59.240 | God
00:05:01.240 | If if the shame attaches to the pregnancy or the child itself, then there's no overcoming
00:05:08.720 | in other words the solution to both the stigma and the shame is
00:05:15.360 | in the preciousness of the forgiveness of Christ and the forgiveness of a humble community of saved sinners and
00:05:23.640 | All of that assumes that the basis of the stigma and the shame the basis of both
00:05:31.000 | attach
00:05:33.240 | To the proper place namely the previous sin not the present pregnancy
00:05:37.880 | And here's the third observation
00:05:40.680 | Sovereign grace a sovereignty of God makes it possible
00:05:45.440 | For both a pregnancy and a child
00:05:48.640 | That is the woman's experience and the child's experience
00:05:53.240 | To be turned for good in the life of the woman and the child and the family and the church and the world
00:06:01.760 | No one needs to feel no woman needs to feel no family needs to feel
00:06:07.680 | That because the child originated in a sinful act if it did
00:06:11.880 | God
00:06:13.680 | Cannot make this child great
00:06:15.680 | He can't
00:06:17.520 | So I hope what our nameless friend feels is that it is wise and good
00:06:25.520 | to be serious and sober and honest about the stigma and the
00:06:32.440 | shame of the sin of sexual immorality
00:06:37.560 | if that's the case and
00:06:39.200 | That the remedy for that sin and the hope
00:06:42.800 | for a life of freedom and joy and peace and usefulness
00:06:47.480 | For mother and child and family and everybody affected should not be sought in the minimization of sin
00:06:55.880 | but in the maximization of
00:06:58.320 | God's grace
00:07:00.400 | This grace is very very
00:07:04.040 | Great your pregnancy is not a sin the sin that brought the pregnancy
00:07:10.440 | If it did is no less
00:07:13.440 | forgivable
00:07:15.760 | Than my sins or the sins of those in your church your experience of that forgiveness
00:07:21.640 | through repentance and faith in Jesus can become a mighty testimony to the beauty of Christ and
00:07:29.280 | That child can grow up in the beauty of Christ and become great
00:07:35.280 | Magnificent word pastor John pastor Ali is sensitive and biblically careful. Thank you very much for your time on Friday
00:07:45.000 | We're gonna close out the week hearing from a listener who wants to know whether or not in heaven. We will fear God
00:07:50.120 | Will we fear God in heaven? And if we do fear God in eternity, what does that mean for our joy and delight in him?
00:07:59.400 | It's a really good question
00:08:00.760 | This is somewhat complicated question
00:08:02.360 | But it's on the docket for Friday
00:08:03.920 | for more about this podcast to find our audio feeds or to search our archive of
00:08:08.080 | Episodes or to see the most popular episodes that we have released today
00:08:11.920 | You can do all of that from our online home at desiring God org
00:08:15.400 | Forward slash ask pastor John. I'm your host Tony Ranke. Thanks for listening to the ask pastor John podcast
00:08:23.000 | You
00:08:25.000 | you
00:08:27.060 | you
00:08:29.120 | [BLANK_AUDIO]