Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power

00:00:00.000 | If you and I were able to go into Skyrim, right,

00:00:02.760 | and walk around and live together, would we make love?

00:00:06.520 | - No, no, no, no, man, don't go there.

00:00:08.760 | - Okay. - No, no, no, no,

00:00:10.040 | because we like girls, man.

00:00:11.600 | - The following is a conversation with Bobby Lee,

00:00:16.520 | a standup comedian and podcaster

00:00:18.560 | and one of the funniest humans on the planet,

00:00:21.160 | and just someone who brings joy to my heart

00:00:23.280 | with a mix of non-sequitur absurdity, darkness,

00:00:27.720 | and the singing voice of an angel.

00:00:30.320 | In all seriousness, Bobby's just a beautiful human being.

00:00:33.520 | I've been a fan of his for 20 years,

00:00:35.280 | since his time on "MADtv" to today

00:00:38.040 | with his podcast "Tiger Belly"

00:00:39.840 | that he does with his other half,

00:00:42.240 | the love of his life, Kalilah,

00:00:44.360 | and the podcast "Bad Friends"

00:00:46.920 | that he does with Andrew Centino.

00:00:49.600 | This is a Lex Friedman podcast.

00:00:51.720 | To support it, please check out our sponsors

00:00:53.880 | in the description.

00:00:55.160 | And now, dear friends, here's Bobby Lee.

00:00:59.080 | I've been a fan of yours for many, many years.

00:01:00.880 | I think you're one of the funniest people in the world.

00:01:03.640 | I've been a fan since "MADtv" days 20 years ago

00:01:07.520 | (laughing)

00:01:08.440 | to today with "Tiger Belly."

00:01:10.240 | So given that, given your status as a world-class comedian,

00:01:14.600 | how did it feel that you were not invited

00:01:18.640 | to Andrew Schultz's wedding and I was?

00:01:21.020 | - What, you were there?

00:01:22.760 | - Yeah, I was there.

00:01:24.320 | I was the least funny person there.

00:01:26.880 | And the whole time I was thinking,

00:01:29.480 | isn't that funny that Bobby Lee's not here?

00:01:31.560 | (laughing)

00:01:32.400 | - Yeah.

00:01:33.680 | - All my life, I always felt like people didn't like me

00:01:36.120 | and they didn't wanna invite me to things.

00:01:37.560 | You know what I mean?

00:01:38.400 | I think that's fundamentally the reason why I do what I do.

00:01:42.540 | So it really did hurt a lot.

00:01:45.000 | And I had resentments.

00:01:46.680 | I did some revenge fantasies

00:01:49.320 | about how I'm gonna get revenge on him and stuff.

00:01:51.440 | - Yeah, on him specifically?

00:01:53.080 | - Him specifically.

00:01:53.920 | - Okay.

00:01:54.760 | - Like have a big wedding, invite everyone,

00:01:57.600 | you know what I mean, except him, stuff like that.

00:01:59.560 | - Yeah.

00:02:00.400 | - And then just write him a letter like,

00:02:01.360 | see, that's how it feels or whatever.

00:02:03.960 | But instead of that, 'cause I'm in therapy and stuff,

00:02:06.600 | I'm just kinda like trying to let it go.

00:02:09.000 | What'd you do there?

00:02:09.920 | This right here, why'd you do that?

00:02:11.840 | - I forgot to start the timer.

00:02:13.440 | And now it starts. - You wanna start over?

00:02:14.760 | - Yeah, let's do this.

00:02:15.600 | (laughing)

00:02:16.560 | Let's do it again.

00:02:17.920 | Take two.

00:02:18.760 | No, you still feel like an outsider?

00:02:20.600 | Your exception is successful, me, domain.

00:02:22.280 | You still feel?

00:02:23.280 | - Yeah.

00:02:24.120 | - I'm doing a Netflix show tonight with Andrew Santino

00:02:26.480 | at the Comedy Store and this and that,

00:02:27.920 | but last night, I just felt like I wasn't a part of,

00:02:32.680 | in fact, on stage I go, I even mention it,

00:02:34.760 | I go, Netflix, they don't like me, you know what I mean?

00:02:38.560 | And I just say things like that, they're not true.

00:02:42.200 | And this is something that I wanna correct with myself

00:02:44.360 | because I have this internal dialogue

00:02:46.120 | that's based on just the past.

00:02:49.360 | And 99% of the things that go on in my mind aren't true.

00:02:53.720 | And I'm just at a point in my life

00:02:56.560 | where I just don't wanna start,

00:02:58.560 | I don't wanna live like that anymore.

00:03:00.200 | - Really, 'cause I'm the same way,

00:03:01.440 | I'm deeply self-critical all the time.

00:03:03.480 | - Yeah.

00:03:04.320 | - And that's kind of an engine that drives you to do stuff.

00:03:08.920 | - Yeah, but it doesn't give you the kind of freedom

00:03:11.320 | that I would like.

00:03:12.960 | Don't you wanna be truly free?

00:03:15.360 | Free from your mind?

00:03:17.040 | Free from negative thoughts?

00:03:18.720 | - No, I'm free part of the day,

00:03:21.720 | but some of the day I spend being extremely self-critical

00:03:24.440 | and that drives you,

00:03:25.280 | 'cause I'm afraid I'll become ultra lazy otherwise.

00:03:28.720 | 'Cause I love life, I love being comfortable,

00:03:31.520 | I love just relaxing, I need very few things in life,

00:03:34.720 | and so I'm afraid I'll just get super lazy.

00:03:37.440 | - Oh, are you a minimalist?

00:03:40.160 | - Yeah.

00:03:41.040 | - So if I went to your house in Austin, do you have a couch?

00:03:44.880 | - I recently got, this is the first couch I've gotten ever

00:03:49.360 | because the guests were complaining,

00:03:51.200 | 'cause I also record the podcast there.

00:03:53.720 | The guests were complaining there's nowhere to sit.

00:03:55.520 | I have no chairs, no couch, I sleep on the floor,

00:03:58.760 | like a mattress is on the floor.

00:04:00.400 | Not out of principle, I think,

00:04:03.120 | out of some kind of minimalist momentum.

00:04:07.280 | - Minimalist, so we're the opposite in that way then.

00:04:09.960 | - Oh, so you like stuff?

00:04:11.760 | - I'm not a hoarder, 'cause I can throw things away,

00:04:14.440 | but I have a shopping addiction, I think.

00:04:17.440 | Like when I'm on the road,

00:04:18.400 | like I was in Oklahoma for two weeks,

00:04:20.480 | I just bought a bunch of stuff, you know what I mean?

00:04:23.000 | And then, oh my God, I went to Todd Snyder

00:04:25.720 | and I bought these shoes.

00:04:27.800 | Because I--

00:04:31.400 | - But you're wearing them, so they're actually,

00:04:33.360 | you're using them, and they're giving value to your life.

00:04:35.880 | That's awesome.

00:04:36.720 | - Yeah, but this is the last time I'm gonna wear these.

00:04:38.880 | - This is the one time?

00:04:40.320 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:04:41.160 | - This is like a wedding, but it's a red carpet dress.

00:04:43.960 | Who's the designer, do you know?

00:04:45.480 | - I don't know anything about it.

00:04:46.320 | - What are you wearing, Bobby?

00:04:47.400 | - I don't know what I'm wearing,

00:04:48.240 | but because I'm on a native show

00:04:49.920 | called Reservation Dogs, right?

00:04:51.560 | I just wanna get into the spirit of things.

00:04:53.560 | - That's your--

00:04:54.760 | - Yeah, this is, because if I was ever native

00:04:57.560 | and I was in a tribe back in the day,

00:04:59.120 | you know what I mean?

00:04:59.960 | I would've been a gatherer.

00:05:01.320 | Yeah, I'm not a hunter.

00:05:04.080 | I'm gonna weave baskets with the ladies.

00:05:07.000 | I wanna pick berries with the ladies.

00:05:08.440 | - You wouldn't be the chieftain.

00:05:09.680 | - No, no, no.

00:05:10.520 | And I would make, after the hunt,

00:05:11.960 | I would probably make some,

00:05:13.040 | so some of the guys make love to me.

00:05:15.080 | - Oh.

00:05:16.240 | - Yeah, because I'm gay, not just because, you know.

00:05:18.000 | - Yeah, you have to.

00:05:18.840 | - I'm heeding the way.

00:05:19.680 | Yeah, yeah, I want them to like me.

00:05:20.500 | - There's a power hierarchy.

00:05:21.340 | You gotta know your place in the hierarchy.

00:05:23.160 | - Yeah, you're alpha male then.

00:05:25.560 | - I don't even know what that means.

00:05:26.880 | - Joe Rogan.

00:05:28.120 | - Joe Rogan is the definition of alpha male?

00:05:29.920 | - To me, yeah.

00:05:30.840 | If there was a picture of alpha male in the dictionary,

00:05:33.360 | it would be Joe Rogan.

00:05:34.200 | - It would be Joe Rogan?

00:05:35.040 | - Yeah.

00:05:35.880 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:05:36.720 | (laughing)

00:05:38.240 | So you hoard stuff, okay.

00:05:39.480 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:05:40.320 | - But you can throw,

00:05:41.160 | when was the last time,

00:05:42.000 | let me call you out on that.

00:05:42.820 | When was the last time you threw away

00:05:44.040 | something that's actually valuable?

00:05:47.200 | - Valuable?

00:05:48.120 | - Like something valuable to you or valuable in general.

00:05:50.920 | - Most things that I buy aren't valuable to me.

00:05:54.160 | There are things that are valuable to me

00:05:55.840 | that are like keepsakes for my family and stuff

00:05:58.200 | that I will keep forever.

00:05:59.120 | So like in terms of like an old photo of my father

00:06:02.400 | or whatnot, so those kind of things I keep.

00:06:04.280 | But when it comes to like, you know,

00:06:07.360 | Aviator Nation sweats,

00:06:08.920 | like if somebody came over to my house and goes,

00:06:11.920 | "Hey, can I have six of those sweatshirts?"

00:06:14.520 | or whatever, I'd be like, "Yeah, go take it."

00:06:15.920 | - Okay.

00:06:16.760 | - But if my brother's come over to my house

00:06:17.920 | and he's done a clearance, you know what I mean?

00:06:19.480 | Like I'm gonna take this, this, and this,

00:06:20.720 | I generally really don't have a problem with it.

00:06:23.320 | - So the self-critical voice is serving no purpose

00:06:26.200 | in terms of, 'cause you're pretty, you know,

00:06:29.120 | I'm a fan of yours,

00:06:29.960 | so you're known to be a little bit lazy sometimes.

00:06:33.120 | - 100% lazy.

00:06:34.080 | - Yeah.

00:06:34.920 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:06:35.740 | - So the self-critical voice,

00:06:36.680 | don't you think that it's serving a purpose

00:06:39.360 | in fighting off the laziness,

00:06:41.000 | beating off the laziness?

00:06:42.440 | - The self-critical voice that I have,

00:06:45.720 | I've been able to compartment,

00:06:48.480 | how do you say it, compartment?

00:06:49.680 | - Yeah, however you say it.

00:06:51.000 | (laughing)

00:06:52.080 | You're free.

00:06:52.920 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:54.040 | Put it in a compartment, right?

00:06:56.040 | And I'm able to, I'm a good avoider.

00:07:00.640 | I'm good at avoidance.

00:07:01.880 | So for instance, right now, to avoid,

00:07:05.440 | I've been playing Stardew Valley.

00:07:07.380 | You know what that is?

00:07:09.080 | - No, it's a phone game or?

00:07:10.680 | - No, you can play it on your Switch,

00:07:12.920 | but it's on the Xbox, and it's a farming simulation game.

00:07:16.360 | And so I like to farm, you know what I mean?

00:07:18.120 | And so playing video games and doing stuff like that

00:07:21.380 | distracts me from what really is going on.

00:07:24.720 | - Okay, you've mentioned elsewhere,

00:07:26.440 | in terms of video games, Elder Scrolls.

00:07:28.600 | - Yeah, did you play that?

00:07:29.440 | - Yeah, of course, it's probably my favorite game.

00:07:31.600 | If I could live in a world,

00:07:33.180 | you played Morrowind and Skyrim.

00:07:35.240 | - I played Oblivion.

00:07:37.360 | - Oblivion.

00:07:38.200 | - I played a little bit of Morrowind,

00:07:39.280 | but I didn't like the graphics back then,

00:07:41.440 | but I really played the, can I swear on this podcast?

00:07:44.160 | - Yeah.

00:07:45.000 | - I played the fuck out of Oblivion and Skyrim.

00:07:47.480 | Like eight character, I played it all the way through,

00:07:50.800 | I have to do all the quests, that type of thing.

00:07:53.440 | - What's your favorite thing about those games?

00:07:55.740 | Why did you spend so much time in that world?

00:07:59.280 | - Because I like games that you can grind.

00:08:01.960 | - What do you mean by grind?

00:08:04.500 | - So like Stardew Valley, for instance, right?

00:08:07.280 | There's a lot of--

00:08:08.100 | - Back to the farming simulation.

00:08:08.940 | - Back to farming, right?

00:08:09.760 | It's the same thing as Skyrim, the reason why I like it,

00:08:11.560 | is that there's a lot of like,

00:08:13.800 | I have to collect a lot of these things.

00:08:16.080 | You know what I mean?

00:08:16.920 | I have to just constantly pick things up.

00:08:19.440 | You know what I mean?

00:08:20.400 | Like for instance, in Skyrim,

00:08:21.520 | there's a mushroom called blisterwort mushroom

00:08:23.820 | that you can pick and then you can make it into

00:08:26.040 | some sort of formula, right?

00:08:27.880 | A potion, right?

00:08:28.720 | - Yeah, a potion, yep.

00:08:29.600 | - So I would spend like literally human 12 hour days

00:08:33.480 | just going to every cave and picking up

00:08:35.860 | as much blisterwort as I could.

00:08:37.920 | Like that kind of grinding.

00:08:40.000 | You know what I mean?

00:08:40.880 | - Yeah.

00:08:41.720 | So you're actually the randomly generated quests

00:08:44.760 | that these games do, that's designed for people like you.

00:08:47.600 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:48.440 | - You don't get bored, that's the fun.

00:08:49.840 | - Yes, that's the fun for me.

00:08:51.400 | - Okay.

00:08:52.240 | - Yeah, there's always something to do.

00:08:53.280 | And I find, like when you play a game that's linear,

00:08:56.640 | like there's certain games where you have to go this way.

00:09:00.120 | Right?

00:09:00.940 | I don't like games like that.

00:09:01.780 | I like open world games where I can make choices

00:09:04.120 | and I can grind if I want.

00:09:06.160 | Yeah, yeah.

00:09:07.000 | - Would you stay in that world if you could live

00:09:08.480 | in that world, in the Elder Scrolls world?

00:09:11.680 | That's how I feel.

00:09:12.660 | - In reality or become like an animated thing in there?

00:09:17.560 | - Oh no, say like virtual reality.

00:09:18.760 | We're moving towards that direction.

00:09:19.840 | - Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:09:20.680 | - If you look at Skyrim, you mentioned graphics,

00:09:22.840 | it's starting to get realistic.

00:09:26.240 | - Yeah.

00:09:27.080 | - Like I'll sometimes just walk around.

00:09:29.520 | I mean, it's been a while,

00:09:30.360 | but I'll just walk around in Skyrim.

00:09:32.080 | - Yeah.

00:09:32.920 | - You can, there's code you can turn off enemies

00:09:34.640 | and you just walk around.

00:09:35.880 | - Really?

00:09:36.720 | - You can just listen to music and just walk around.

00:09:39.080 | - That's what you did?

00:09:39.920 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:41.360 | - Yeah, I would do that.

00:09:42.240 | When you do that, would you do it with me?

00:09:44.600 | - Yeah, sure.

00:09:45.440 | - We would have a house together?

00:09:46.640 | - Oh, I mean live.

00:09:47.480 | I thought walk around.

00:09:48.320 | - No, no, no.

00:09:49.160 | If you and I were able to go into Skyrim, right?

00:09:52.040 | And walk around and live together.

00:09:54.840 | - Would we make love?

00:09:55.800 | - No, no, no, no, man.

00:09:57.160 | Don't go there.

00:09:58.080 | - Okay.

00:09:58.920 | - No, no, no, no, no.

00:09:59.740 | Because we like girls, man.

00:10:01.600 | - Yeah, that's right.

00:10:02.440 | - But it's not gay.

00:10:03.280 | You told me it's not gay.

00:10:05.280 | - All right, so you and I would--

00:10:06.600 | - Yeah, I would hunt, you would gather.

00:10:08.920 | - But in that world--

00:10:10.280 | - Oh, there's no hunting.

00:10:11.480 | - Yeah, there is hunting.

00:10:12.680 | I would do, because we don't have to find a bandits.

00:10:15.400 | We have to fight.

00:10:16.240 | I'm not gonna gather a bandit.

00:10:17.600 | I'm gonna hunt them.

00:10:18.920 | - But I thought you said it's all about the potion.

00:10:21.040 | You don't need the bandits.

00:10:22.280 | - Okay, well, we could do this.

00:10:23.880 | You could be the guy that like defends our place, right?

00:10:27.280 | I'll gather all the blister wart,

00:10:30.240 | all the white caps, all the mushrooms.

00:10:32.480 | I'll get all the food.

00:10:33.960 | You know what I mean?

00:10:34.800 | I'll go to Whiterun.

00:10:35.620 | Remember Whiterun?

00:10:36.460 | - Yeah.

00:10:37.280 | - Right, or Winterhold.

00:10:38.120 | And I'll do all the like crusts

00:10:39.880 | that have nothing to do with, you know what I mean?

00:10:41.800 | - So no dragons though?

00:10:43.000 | No--

00:10:43.840 | - No dragons, but we would have a banquet.

00:10:45.000 | We'd invite the Dark Brotherhood.

00:10:47.680 | - Yeah.

00:10:48.520 | - Right, the Fighter's Guild, we'd definitely invite them.

00:10:50.720 | Mage's Guild, we'd invite them.

00:10:52.240 | - Are you a thief kind of guy?

00:10:53.680 | - I'm a thief guy.

00:10:54.520 | Yeah, I'm a thief guy for life.

00:10:55.800 | Yeah, I'm a thief guy for life.

00:10:56.840 | - And you still wouldn't invite Andrew Schultz to that?

00:10:59.600 | - No, no, no.

00:11:00.800 | But what a piece of shit though, huh?

00:11:02.600 | Because let me just say something, okay?

00:11:04.160 | I just wanna get back to that, okay?

00:11:05.640 | - Okay, sure.

00:11:06.480 | - So I met him at the Montreal Comedy Festival

00:11:09.640 | and him and I are kindred souls.

00:11:12.960 | We really connected.

00:11:14.080 | - Yeah.

00:11:15.420 | - And he did my podcast.

00:11:17.360 | He's done it several times.

00:11:18.320 | Done his.

00:11:19.160 | We've like communicated on the phone, this and that.

00:11:22.480 | And to me, and then he invites Whitney Cummings,

00:11:24.960 | which Whitney is a good friend of mine.

00:11:26.600 | But what I'm saying is that I know Andrew

00:11:29.880 | as well as Whitney knows him.

00:11:31.920 | I don't think that Whitney knows him more than I do, right?

00:11:35.640 | - What if it was a competition?

00:11:37.080 | Like it was a tie, you know, like NBA,

00:11:40.480 | like a Bobby Lee versus Whitney.

00:11:42.520 | - Yeah.

00:11:43.920 | - In what way do you think she's better?

00:11:45.480 | In what way do you think you're better?

00:11:47.680 | - I think it's all about gender optics.

00:11:50.060 | - Okay.

00:11:52.040 | - Right, so she's a comedian.

00:11:53.640 | She has, he has all these alpha males coming

00:11:55.480 | and he's like, all right, I can, I have one more seat left.

00:11:58.240 | - Yeah.

00:11:59.080 | - Whitney or Bobby, but Bobby is,

00:12:01.080 | although I don't think there was a lot of Koreans there.

00:12:02.800 | So he could have used that card.

00:12:04.440 | - This is true.

00:12:05.280 | - Right, but I think he went for, you know,

00:12:07.200 | Whitney's a woman, it's better for optics.

00:12:09.400 | - Okay, so she was a diversity hire for the wedding.

00:12:12.600 | - Yeah.

00:12:13.760 | - I see.

00:12:14.600 | It was pretty fun.

00:12:15.920 | It was pretty, I have to say, I don't,

00:12:17.720 | Joe Rogan.

00:12:19.960 | - Yeah, I know.

00:12:20.800 | - His wife.

00:12:21.840 | - I get it.

00:12:22.680 | - Yeah, and then Whitney.

00:12:25.360 | - Are those the only comedians that were there?

00:12:27.920 | - I spent the whole time talking to Joe.

00:12:29.240 | So I think, no, I don't think there was that many comedians.

00:12:32.240 | Some I'm kind of joking about.

00:12:34.480 | It was a pretty, pretty small wedding.

00:12:35.920 | - Yeah.

00:12:36.760 | - So yeah.

00:12:37.600 | - What do you talk to Joe about?

00:12:38.520 | - First of all, we're both grapplers.

00:12:40.200 | So we talk a lot about jiu-jitsu.

00:12:42.240 | We talk a lot about--

00:12:43.760 | - I'm a grappler.

00:12:44.800 | - Are you?

00:12:45.640 | - I was on the wrestling team in high school.

00:12:46.800 | - Yeah, I know.

00:12:47.640 | I know this.

00:12:48.480 | - Is there a grappler that to you that,

00:12:49.320 | if I don't know jiu-jitsu,

00:12:50.320 | is there only one kind of grappling that you like?

00:12:52.520 | - Yeah, there's levels to this game, I think.

00:12:54.680 | - Oh, I just talked out.

00:12:55.760 | No, no, no, there's nothing more.

00:12:57.840 | That's a surprising fact that you've dropped that.

00:13:00.920 | It almost feels like a lie.

00:13:03.000 | 'Cause you've said that before that you were a wrestler

00:13:05.400 | in high school.

00:13:06.440 | It doesn't make sense.

00:13:07.280 | - Well, it's funny that you say that because,

00:13:09.440 | and I'm gonna cause a little controversy here.

00:13:13.800 | But Joe Rogan, one time came to me,

00:13:16.320 | when he lived in LA, this is years ago,

00:13:17.880 | and he said, "You're a liar.

00:13:19.760 | "You've never grappled."

00:13:21.320 | And I go, "Yes, I did.

00:13:22.280 | "You're a fucking liar.

00:13:23.340 | "No, you didn't."

00:13:24.280 | And at that time, I didn't have any photos to prove it.

00:13:27.120 | But if you look at my Instagram, I have photos.

00:13:29.480 | That I was grappling.

00:13:31.840 | - Of you as a young man dressed in a singlet or what?

00:13:35.560 | - On the wrestling team.

00:13:36.560 | - On the wrestling team.

00:13:37.400 | - If you go to the fucking, sorry.

00:13:39.240 | If you go to my, I'm sorry.

00:13:40.640 | If you go to my fucking high school, you're right,

00:13:43.960 | I was on the wrestling team for three years.

00:13:46.360 | - I'm not gonna go to your high school,

00:13:47.480 | so is there actual photo evidence of you?

00:13:49.520 | - Yeah, I wanna, you know what?

00:13:51.080 | You're being like Rogan right now,

00:13:52.400 | and it really is--

00:13:54.520 | - How do we know it's not Photoshopped?

00:13:56.480 | - Oh, well, you be the judge then, dude.

00:13:58.480 | Okay, so this is my brother and me

00:14:00.840 | in high school on the wrestling team.

00:14:02.880 | - Which, oh, it's you are, yeah, you're on the--

00:14:04.920 | - I'm the bottom.

00:14:06.200 | That's my brother to the left.

00:14:07.720 | I mean, yeah, to your right.

00:14:09.240 | - Oh, handsome.

00:14:10.280 | - Yeah, I'm not, that's-- - Bicep.

00:14:11.560 | - Yeah.

00:14:12.400 | - How much do you weigh?

00:14:14.380 | - Wow.

00:14:15.220 | At the time I weighed, I was on the 105 weight category.

00:14:19.280 | - Yeah. - Yeah.

00:14:20.760 | But, so I was also on the tennis team.

00:14:23.080 | What people don't realize is that I'm very athletic.

00:14:26.280 | - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:27.720 | And I resent the fact that people think that I'm not

00:14:29.920 | because I'm doughy.

00:14:30.840 | - You're an athlete, so, which is very surprising to me.

00:14:34.960 | - Why?

00:14:35.800 | - That, so I was invited to the wedding.

00:14:38.200 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:14:39.040 | - I've also been on Joe Rogan's podcast.

00:14:42.400 | - He's a big fan of yours.

00:14:43.560 | - No, I love Joe.

00:14:44.480 | No, Joe, when Joe's, and I see Joe,

00:14:46.040 | we hug and stuff, we talk, I love him.

00:14:46.880 | - I just talked to him today, said I'm talking to you.

00:14:49.120 | This is hilarious.

00:14:49.960 | - Why, oh, you hug him, you just never?

00:14:52.160 | - It just hasn't worked out.

00:14:53.080 | Like, I don't wanna go like, hey,

00:14:56.160 | 'cause I don't want the rejection.

00:14:58.880 | So, it's like, if I go, hey, can I do it?

00:15:02.360 | And he goes, I don't know, man, I'm busy, man.

00:15:04.680 | I got a lot.

00:15:05.520 | I mean, maybe later, I don't want that.

00:15:07.400 | So, if he said, hey, are you available Thursday this day,

00:15:12.400 | fly out, do my podcast, I would 100% do it.

00:15:17.600 | - And that hasn't happened yet.

00:15:19.800 | - So interesting.

00:15:20.880 | (laughing)

00:15:22.840 | - Why is it interesting?

00:15:24.040 | - I don't know, 'cause you're, like I said,

00:15:25.480 | you're one of the funniest people in the world.

00:15:26.800 | That'd be a great conversation.

00:15:27.920 | It's just funny it hasn't happened yet.

00:15:29.560 | - Well, it's like this conversation.

00:15:30.840 | It's like, I just learned how to tell time.

00:15:33.560 | - Yeah.

00:15:34.720 | - Not like, I know how to write digital.

00:15:36.120 | - You showed up on time today.

00:15:37.560 | - No, digital.

00:15:38.400 | I know how to write digital, obviously,

00:15:40.000 | but in terms of the hand clock,

00:15:42.360 | I just learned that six months ago.

00:15:44.840 | - How to operate a hand clock?

00:15:46.920 | - To read a hand clock.

00:15:48.200 | - Hand clock, okay.

00:15:49.040 | - Not that I, obviously, I'll be able

00:15:51.080 | to absorb the information.

00:15:52.200 | I'm one of those guys that just refuse

00:15:54.400 | to learn things if I just.

00:15:55.760 | - What did you think it was before?

00:15:59.480 | - I would look at it, and I would try to sometimes,

00:16:01.520 | like if I was at a train station,

00:16:03.120 | and I would look at those old clocks,

00:16:06.440 | I would look at it and try to guess,

00:16:08.080 | and I'd kinda go, I think this is the way,

00:16:11.240 | you know what I mean?

00:16:12.080 | But not fully, you know what I mean, really grasp it.

00:16:14.760 | - So the way ancient people looked up at the sun

00:16:16.560 | to try to tell time, you looked at a clock

00:16:18.920 | to try to tell time.

00:16:19.920 | - Right, like for instance, we don't look at the sun,

00:16:22.840 | so to me, it was an obsolete information to me,

00:16:26.480 | because I'm digital.

00:16:27.480 | - You already had digital.

00:16:28.600 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:29.640 | - And so that's somehow comparable to you

00:16:33.120 | going on the Joe Rogan.

00:16:34.280 | - And you, because it's like, I don't know much about.

00:16:37.780 | - Podcasting?

00:16:39.560 | - No, podcasting I can, but in terms of the singularity

00:16:42.640 | and all that stuff, I know what it is,

00:16:45.000 | you know what I mean, when machines

00:16:46.520 | have consciousness, when is that gonna happen?

00:16:49.660 | - Soon, are you afraid of robots?

00:16:52.080 | See, if you were in Austin, I would show you some robots.

00:16:54.300 | - Oh, I'd love to.

00:16:55.140 | - Are you afraid of robots?

00:16:56.920 | - No, I love it.

00:16:57.920 | - You love robots.

00:16:58.760 | - Oh yeah, yeah, in fact, I have this,

00:17:00.480 | I think to me, unless they become hostile

00:17:04.480 | and it becomes like the Terminator,

00:17:05.960 | which I think could happen, right?

00:17:08.200 | There'd be a Skynet, we'd have to bring it down,

00:17:09.760 | whatever, but.

00:17:10.600 | - There's definitely going to be autonomous weapon systems,

00:17:12.640 | so a lot of the robotics research is being conducted,

00:17:16.400 | funded by the military.

00:17:18.720 | - Wow.

00:17:19.800 | - You know, the military industrial complex?

00:17:21.800 | - I know what that is, yes.

00:17:22.640 | - Yeah, so a lot of the cutting edge research is done,

00:17:26.480 | is funded by DOD, Department of Defense, DARPA, and so on,

00:17:31.480 | so a lot of the robots will be used in war,

00:17:34.100 | but hopefully not, most of consumer robotics

00:17:37.680 | will be in the home, I'm just trying to terrify you.

00:17:40.000 | - No, no, no, but can I ask you this though?

00:17:42.120 | What you're saying to me is that, as a layperson,

00:17:46.520 | is that in my lifetime, that machines will have consciousness

00:17:51.520 | - Oh, that I don't know.

00:17:55.120 | - Computers.

00:17:55.940 | - I'm one of the people, well, depending,

00:17:58.520 | you live dangerously, so I don't know

00:18:00.000 | how long you're gonna live.

00:18:01.560 | So let's put, but I believe that consciousness, yes,

00:18:05.360 | could be engineered in a machine,

00:18:07.120 | or at least we can have machines that are human-like,

00:18:11.680 | and we believe they have consciousness.

00:18:14.320 | Can I ask you one last question about it?

00:18:15.800 | - Yes.

00:18:16.640 | - But just one more.

00:18:18.800 | - Will they have the smoothness of skin,

00:18:20.880 | and will they look realistic?

00:18:22.640 | - See, I'm one of those people that believes

00:18:26.380 | that visual appearance isn't the magic.

00:18:29.200 | So if you're blind, you can still have a connection

00:18:32.040 | with a person, people can fall in love with each other

00:18:35.240 | through just letters, so yeah, I know you're mocking me

00:18:39.000 | with your entire energy, but yes,

00:18:41.800 | yes, I believe that part too, you're talking about sex bots

00:18:45.720 | is what you're probably getting, okay, intimacy.

00:18:48.400 | Just friends, friends, but you wanna feel the smoothness

00:18:52.000 | of their skin. - Yeah, like a guy,

00:18:52.840 | like, you know, just go, "What's up, dude?"

00:18:54.160 | and just rub his face.

00:18:55.000 | - Yeah, just hug and kiss,

00:18:56.840 | and like, come both cheeks kind of thing.

00:18:58.320 | - I get what you're saying, though, right?

00:18:59.840 | Obviously, there's no soul, you're right,

00:19:02.160 | you know what I mean, and I'm just curious to see,

00:19:04.840 | you're right, I was going with sex bots, but--

00:19:06.360 | - Yeah, yeah, have you seen Whitney Cummings' robot?

00:19:10.280 | - Yeah, I've seen it. - Okay.

00:19:11.440 | - Yeah. - How did that make you feel?

00:19:13.320 | - She's a beautiful girl, I just don't find her attractive.

00:19:17.880 | - The robot or Whitney?

00:19:19.080 | - I find the robot way more attractive.

00:19:21.040 | - Yeah, okay.

00:19:21.880 | - Yeah, if I had the choice, robot.

00:19:23.440 | - So you were turned on by the robot.

00:19:25.000 | See, I was surprised by the very thing you're saying,

00:19:29.680 | which is the realism of the skit, like it was quite,

00:19:33.200 | they did a really good job on that robot.

00:19:35.000 | - Oh, they did?

00:19:35.840 | - The life, when it's animated, the life is not quite there,

00:19:40.160 | you can tell it's a robot, but just sitting there still,

00:19:44.080 | it has a lot of human-like elements, the texture,

00:19:47.040 | I don't know, it's quite fascinating.

00:19:48.720 | - So they're getting there.

00:19:49.640 | - They're getting there.

00:19:50.900 | But the funny thing about sex robots

00:19:52.480 | is most people that get sex robots,

00:19:55.000 | they don't get it for the sex, they get it for intimacy.

00:19:58.280 | Not sexual intimacy, but just somebody being there.

00:20:05.280 | It's the emotional connection, not the sexual.

00:20:09.360 | - Yeah, I mean, I saw a long time ago a documentary

00:20:14.360 | about real dolls and people marrying them.

00:20:17.040 | Yeah, and what I was fascinated about is the cuddling,

00:20:22.040 | you know what I mean, and then watching TV together

00:20:25.120 | and stuff like that, which I find,

00:20:26.940 | I've just been able to find human girlfriends and stuff.

00:20:32.040 | - That's really impressive.

00:20:34.080 | That's one of the reasons--

00:20:35.440 | - Thanks, man, yeah, thanks, man.

00:20:37.440 | - Speaking of human girlfriends,

00:20:40.080 | I'd love your advice in this direction,

00:20:42.380 | but you have an amazing relationship with Kalilah.

00:20:46.720 | So you two are very different,

00:20:48.800 | so you host the Tiger Brother podcast together,

00:20:51.520 | but there's real love there, there's a real connection.

00:20:54.840 | What do you love most about Kalilah?

00:20:58.280 | Let's talk about love, Bobby Lee.

00:21:01.440 | - Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's a really pretty deep,

00:21:03.600 | I've never really gone down this path.

00:21:05.760 | - We're gonna walk down that path together holding hands.

00:21:09.080 | - It's one of those things where the first time I met her,

00:21:13.840 | it was almost as if I had known her all my life.

00:21:17.120 | It was really weird, you know what I mean?

00:21:19.200 | There was a trust there, you know what I mean,

00:21:23.560 | that was just fundamentally there,

00:21:25.600 | that I could trust her and that I could, you know,

00:21:31.640 | when I look in the mirror

00:21:33.200 | and I see all my character defects and stuff,

00:21:35.520 | a lot of those things aren't necessarily things

00:21:38.280 | I wanna share with people

00:21:39.560 | because I don't wanna be judged or ridiculed,

00:21:42.320 | but with her, I felt comfortable showing those things

00:21:45.800 | and I think she feels the same way about her.

00:21:49.120 | And then secondly, she's funny.

00:21:51.800 | I mean, she made me laugh and she's hot.

00:21:54.600 | It's all, you know what I mean, the perfect,

00:21:57.600 | it was like a perfect combination of things,

00:21:59.760 | you know what I mean?

00:22:01.040 | One night we were in bed and I forgot what the joke was,

00:22:03.360 | but she really made me laugh one night.

00:22:05.640 | She was living in an apartment in Long Beach

00:22:08.040 | and I cackled, you know what I mean?

00:22:09.600 | And generally, women don't make,

00:22:12.320 | I mean, women I'm dating, comics do,

00:22:15.920 | don't make me cackle in that way.

00:22:17.960 | And then thirdly, she has,

00:22:20.760 | she's partly Asian.

00:22:23.920 | So it's like, you know, one time I dated a white girl

00:22:29.040 | and I invited her to Koreatown.

00:22:30.720 | - Are you about to be racist?

00:22:32.040 | - A little bit. - Okay.

00:22:32.960 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:22:34.040 | And what I love about Asian girls

00:22:37.440 | is they'll eat something first and ask what it is after,

00:22:42.440 | but white girls ask what it is before.

00:22:45.000 | What is this, right?

00:22:47.080 | But Kalaya would eat the eyeball, eat everything,

00:22:49.960 | go, what did I just eat?

00:22:51.240 | I like that, you know what I mean?

00:22:53.560 | So it's like, and it reminds me of my mom in that way,

00:22:56.280 | in terms of like, my mom growing up just to scare us

00:23:00.840 | and freak us out, we'd have a fish

00:23:02.960 | and she would eat the eyeball first to see us squirm.

00:23:06.920 | And as a kid, that you thought was gross

00:23:08.480 | and weird and this and that, but it's like,

00:23:10.980 | you know, when Kalaya does it, it just kind of like,

00:23:14.120 | I don't know, it just makes me feel like at home,

00:23:18.120 | in a weird way, I don't know.

00:23:20.080 | - It's a little act of fearlessness, I like that.

00:23:22.800 | - Yeah. - Just eat,

00:23:23.640 | just put in your mouth and figure it out.

00:23:26.160 | - Yeah, that's what I like.

00:23:28.080 | And at the end of the day, she also,

00:23:30.360 | out of all my girlfriends, and this is gonna sound

00:23:34.320 | not strange, but hard to admit,

00:23:39.080 | but my career when I met Kalaya was in the shitbox.

00:23:44.080 | I could not get anything going.

00:23:46.880 | And this is at the time where Ken Jeong,

00:23:50.600 | who's a very good friend of mine, very talented,

00:23:52.760 | was getting everything.

00:23:54.600 | And I just remember going, I can't even get an audition.

00:23:57.720 | Like, I can't, I would go on the road, Lex,

00:24:00.960 | and I would fill half the room.

00:24:03.520 | I just couldn't sell tickets.

00:24:04.880 | And when I met her, I was just kind of like,

00:24:07.600 | maybe this is, I have to find love

00:24:10.160 | and open up my world in that way.

00:24:13.400 | And she was the first girlfriend that I ever had

00:24:16.440 | that looked at me and saw the potential.

00:24:19.920 | And she said, no, this is not, it doesn't feel right.

00:24:23.000 | You're so funny and you're so relevant to me.

00:24:27.320 | And this is what we're gonna do.

00:24:29.760 | And so she started Tiger Belly.

00:24:32.560 | And then obviously I had the skillset to do it,

00:24:38.120 | but once Tiger Belly happened,

00:24:41.360 | and then Andrew was like, let's do Bad Friends.

00:24:44.680 | And then now things are great.

00:24:48.720 | My career is, I'm too busy almost in a weird way.

00:24:53.280 | And I feel like she had a lot to do with,

00:24:55.960 | like for instance, before I met her,

00:24:58.480 | even if I would have get an audition,

00:24:59.960 | I wouldn't go because I just wouldn't get it.

00:25:03.040 | In my head, I was like, I'm not gonna get this.

00:25:05.440 | I've gone on a thousand of these

00:25:07.440 | and they just never hire me.

00:25:09.280 | But she was, so I just didn't go on them for years.

00:25:12.560 | And then she was the first girlfriend that said,

00:25:14.840 | no, I don't care if you don't get it.

00:25:18.080 | I just don't want you to be a pussy.

00:25:19.960 | And I want you to walk through fear.

00:25:21.960 | And so she would drag me to these fucking things

00:25:23.960 | and I, for some reason, would book them.

00:25:27.840 | You know what I mean?

00:25:28.680 | So, you know, in that way--

00:25:30.880 | - She saw the potential of what you could be.

00:25:33.360 | She loved you for who you are already.

00:25:35.480 | - Yes.

00:25:36.480 | - But also loved you for the potential

00:25:38.400 | that you could become.

00:25:39.760 | - Yeah, and I'm lucky in that way.

00:25:42.240 | - So on day one, you could show her,

00:25:44.360 | you said you could show your flaws to her.

00:25:46.880 | Like you felt like you could be fragile with her?

00:25:49.080 | - Well, I accidentally farted.

00:25:50.760 | - Yeah, on day one?

00:25:52.120 | - On day one.

00:25:53.360 | You know, because I'm a fart machine.

00:25:55.760 | And I have loose cheeks.

00:25:57.320 | - Yeah.

00:25:58.160 | (laughing)

00:25:59.000 | I like how you, for the listeners,

00:26:00.280 | you just winked at me.

00:26:01.680 | - Yeah, I have loose cheeks and--

00:26:04.320 | - But not in a gay way.

00:26:05.160 | - Not in a gay way, no.

00:26:06.000 | And I was, we were on a couch and we're talking

00:26:08.600 | and I kind of adjusted my body.

00:26:10.240 | I ripped one by accident.

00:26:12.800 | And she laughed, you know what I mean?

00:26:14.040 | It wasn't embarrassing, you know?

00:26:15.560 | And also I have a little penis.

00:26:19.960 | I have a little penis.

00:26:20.800 | - It's all relative.

00:26:21.960 | - Yes, it's very little.

00:26:23.920 | - But relative to an elephant,

00:26:26.280 | everybody's penis is little.

00:26:27.480 | - Yeah, but I'm not an elephant.

00:26:28.920 | I'm a human, you know what I mean?

00:26:30.120 | So relatively human, it's very small.

00:26:32.920 | And so when she saw it, you know what I mean,

00:26:34.360 | I thought she was gonna balk at it, right?

00:26:37.320 | And she looked at it as if it was like an orphan.

00:26:40.320 | (laughing)

00:26:42.360 | You know, like I wanna, you know, it's a lost child

00:26:45.280 | and I wanna, you know, take care of it.

00:26:48.160 | - Yeah, cradle it.

00:26:50.200 | - Cradle it, yeah.

00:26:51.360 | Well, you man, you haven't met anybody like that?

00:26:55.760 | - Never met a girl, never seen one of them.

00:26:59.640 | I hear they're nice.

00:27:00.800 | When are the two of you getting married?

00:27:04.760 | - We don't know yet, yeah.

00:27:07.560 | - Is that something you would like?

00:27:09.360 | - Yeah.

00:27:10.440 | - This comes up sometimes.

00:27:11.760 | - You know, we're in couples counseling.

00:27:13.920 | We're working on some issues that we have.

00:27:16.200 | Every relationship, even my friendships have issues.

00:27:19.960 | And so we're working through some issues.

00:27:21.960 | And once we get to the end of it, we'll figure it out.

00:27:24.640 | - Would you like to be a father one day?

00:27:26.640 | - This is kind of couples counseling.

00:27:33.160 | - You know, yeah, I do.

00:27:38.080 | I do, because I feel like,

00:27:42.320 | you know, before I was very childlike.

00:27:44.080 | You know, I play a lot of video games.

00:27:45.680 | I'm irresponsible, I'm lazy, this and that, right?

00:27:48.600 | But, you know, to be honest with you, Lex,

00:27:51.720 | in the last six months,

00:27:53.680 | I really have come through some breakthroughs.

00:27:57.720 | And I'm in therapy and I'm doing a lot of things

00:28:00.560 | and really self-analyzing myself and my behaviors

00:28:04.360 | and what I want, my desires.

00:28:06.120 | And I think ultimately, yes, I really do.

00:28:09.200 | Because it's a life experience

00:28:11.080 | that, you know, I don't wanna be an old man

00:28:15.640 | looking back and going,

00:28:17.360 | it's something that I've always was interested in.

00:28:19.920 | And I think it's based on fear

00:28:22.280 | because I don't want to scar my child

00:28:27.280 | the way my parents scarred me.

00:28:29.920 | But at the same time,

00:28:31.720 | my parents didn't do the work on themselves like I am.

00:28:36.440 | And they were never about self-improvement.

00:28:38.560 | They were just about, they were immigrants, you know?

00:28:40.400 | And they wanted to put food on the table.

00:28:42.680 | And after that, they just went about their business.

00:28:47.120 | And I'm not like that.

00:28:48.720 | I would never be violent toward my kids

00:28:51.200 | like my parents were.

00:28:52.440 | My dad was very physically abusive, you know?

00:28:57.160 | There was a lot of trauma and stuff.

00:28:58.480 | And so, you know, as a kid, I thought,

00:29:02.280 | you know, I just would never put my kid through this.

00:29:05.040 | So that's why I never wanted it.

00:29:06.360 | But I would completely do it differently, you know?

00:29:10.480 | Even yelling and those kind of things,

00:29:13.160 | I would be very mindful about those things.

00:29:15.240 | And I think that I have certain things,

00:29:18.240 | you know, I'm not a science-y guy like you,

00:29:19.960 | but there are life things that I've learned over the years

00:29:22.600 | that I could teach a child, you know,

00:29:24.720 | about living in the moment or walking through fear

00:29:27.080 | or, you know, things will pass and just different things,

00:29:31.720 | you know, that I would be a good listener.

00:29:33.800 | And yeah, I would like to do that.

00:29:37.800 | - So your dad died in August of 2019.

00:29:42.800 | - Wow.

00:29:45.240 | - Yeah.

00:29:46.480 | - He did your research.

00:29:47.640 | - Yeah, it's on your Wikipedia.

00:29:50.000 | (laughing)

00:29:51.800 | - Yeah.

00:29:53.040 | - So you said some of it was rough,

00:29:55.160 | but what's your fondest memory of your dad?

00:29:57.980 | - Well, those memories happened later in life.

00:30:06.240 | As a child, my fondest memory was my mom,

00:30:10.040 | 'cause he never spent time with us.

00:30:11.320 | So my mom made him take me out one day,

00:30:16.320 | and he took me to a park.

00:30:19.560 | Like he doesn't, there was no baseball glove

00:30:21.600 | or baseball or anything like that.

00:30:24.080 | And we sat on a park bench, right?

00:30:28.440 | And we just sat there for hours.

00:30:31.080 | We didn't talk 'cause he didn't know English that well,

00:30:33.000 | and I didn't know Korean.

00:30:34.440 | So it's just very basic information being,

00:30:38.240 | you know what I mean?

00:30:39.240 | How are you?

00:30:41.160 | This is how we go, how you doing?

00:30:44.400 | I'm okay, you know?

00:30:46.120 | Good, good, good.

00:30:47.800 | That type of thing.

00:30:48.640 | - Yeah, for a long time.

00:30:49.800 | - For a long time, and then,

00:30:51.360 | but the day turned bad because I forgot my jacket there,

00:30:55.220 | and he yelled at me.

00:30:57.040 | - But there's a bit of peace together.

00:30:59.840 | - At that time, yeah, there was peace.

00:31:01.720 | But then what happened was later in life,

00:31:05.280 | when I got Matt TV, and I was doing,

00:31:09.000 | in my early years, I'd booked a couple of things.

00:31:11.400 | Like in 2000, I did The Tonight Show on Leno,

00:31:15.880 | and then I got Matt TV in 2000.

00:31:19.240 | And wow, that was over 20 years ago.

00:31:22.080 | And that's when my parents kind of went, huh, you know?

00:31:29.360 | Because obviously, there's some nepotism in Hollywood,

00:31:34.360 | but in my case, my parents were straight up immigrants.

00:31:37.800 | I had no connections to Hollywood.

00:31:40.080 | And I came up here poor, with no connections,

00:31:45.080 | and I built it, you know what I mean?

00:31:48.040 | Through the years.

00:31:49.200 | And in that way, I'm very proud of myself

00:31:52.560 | because I went through a lot of fucking hell,

00:31:55.080 | and sadness, and desperation, and all that stuff.

00:31:58.120 | And I persevered, and I did all that shit on my own, man.

00:32:00.960 | I booked The Tonight Show on my own.

00:32:03.080 | I got Matt TV on my own.

00:32:05.240 | And when I did those things, my parents were very proud.

00:32:09.480 | - But before that, did they doubt you?

00:32:13.720 | - Oh yeah.

00:32:14.560 | - You're not funny.

00:32:18.640 | (laughing)

00:32:21.200 | You never make me laugh.

00:32:23.640 | - Yeah, right, and that kind of stuff.

00:32:25.320 | - You never gonna make it.

00:32:27.120 | You're gonna be poor all your life.

00:32:29.440 | You know, that kind of stuff.

00:32:30.440 | - But Matt TV, he was proud?

00:32:32.840 | Your dad, your parents?

00:32:34.400 | - 'Cause it was a weekly show,

00:32:35.840 | so on Saturday nights, they would watch it.

00:32:38.400 | - They would?

00:32:39.240 | - Yeah, and I would play characters

00:32:41.800 | that they would understand.

00:32:42.800 | Like I did Kim Jong-il at the time.

00:32:45.560 | Right, so they loved that.

00:32:47.560 | They loved the things that I would do,

00:32:50.040 | the physical comedy.

00:32:51.680 | And they couldn't believe in their mind.

00:32:55.000 | Imagine your parents from Korea coming here,

00:33:00.000 | not knowing the language, having a child here, right?

00:33:04.120 | And in their minds, that was never an option, right?

00:33:09.040 | And so when they see their kid, I guess, on TV,

00:33:13.240 | especially, there was no internet too at the time.

00:33:16.000 | The internet had just started.

00:33:17.920 | So to them, they were like, this is a musical.

00:33:21.480 | In fact, when I did The Tonight Show,

00:33:23.280 | my dad called me the next day and asked me,

00:33:25.480 | he literally asked me this, he goes,

00:33:27.960 | how much did you pay them to do it?

00:33:33.040 | He thought that I had saved all my money.

00:33:35.800 | He thought that Tom Cruise goes up there and goes,

00:33:37.560 | here's a grand, thanks for having me on.

00:33:39.480 | You know what I mean?

00:33:40.320 | No, I go, no, they asked me.

00:33:41.480 | Conceptually, they were just shocked by it.

00:33:44.960 | So when I got it, and then they were watching me weekly,

00:33:48.060 | Matt TV, the producer's like, hey, have your dad on.

00:33:53.480 | So my dad did two or three sketches on television.

00:33:58.480 | So those memories, I also did a pilot for Comedy Central,

00:34:02.640 | and he was on my pilot.

00:34:04.500 | - Pilot for like a show?

00:34:06.480 | - Yeah, show, I think I picked up, but he was on the pilot.

00:34:09.440 | - He was in the show?

00:34:10.400 | - Yeah, he was in the pilot.

00:34:11.320 | He was on Matt TV too, on television.

00:34:13.920 | - Interesting. - Yeah.

00:34:15.320 | - Oh, wow, okay.

00:34:16.160 | - Yeah, yeah, so it's like he would get residual checks.

00:34:20.480 | - Yeah. - You know what I mean?

00:34:21.320 | - Yeah. - It does change everything.

00:34:22.960 | There's nepotism in reverse.

00:34:24.800 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really nepotism in reverse.

00:34:27.720 | And so he, those memories are very,

00:34:32.040 | I have very fond memories, 'cause he had changed as well.

00:34:34.200 | He was no longer that violent kind of a guy.

00:34:37.760 | He had softened a lot, you know what I mean?

00:34:40.080 | But when he died is when those issues came up,

00:34:45.080 | like a freight train.

00:34:47.800 | - The bad stuff. - Oh, yeah.

00:34:50.040 | And I didn't know what was going on.

00:34:51.440 | It was really hard.

00:34:53.520 | - You miss him?

00:34:55.040 | - Yeah.

00:34:55.880 | - How often do you think about him?

00:34:58.880 | - Every day.

00:34:59.880 | Obviously, a lot of it's regrets, you know what I mean?

00:35:03.320 | - Like what kind of regrets?

00:35:04.360 | Not having said something, or not having had a conversation?

00:35:09.360 | - It's not regrets, 'cause even if he was still alive,

00:35:13.240 | they're just things that are impossibilities

00:35:15.520 | because of his culture and the way he was raised.

00:35:18.600 | But my regret in life will always be having those types,

00:35:23.600 | 'cause I was with my mom a couple of months ago,

00:35:28.200 | and I looked at her, and tears in my eyes were at a Starbucks.

00:35:33.200 | I go, "Mom, I just wanna let you know that I'm so sorry

00:35:38.520 | "that you lived in that house, and my dad,

00:35:42.640 | "and dad hit you, and you survived,

00:35:44.400 | "and you stayed in the marriage because of us."

00:35:47.840 | And you know what her response was?

00:35:50.200 | "Let's go to Book of the Pebble."

00:35:52.560 | She wanted Italian food.

00:35:54.080 | There was nothing there, right?

00:36:00.280 | And so my regret is that they just will never be able

00:36:05.280 | to even grasp the concept of that kind of communication,

00:36:10.280 | you know what I mean?

00:36:11.240 | And I'll never have it.

00:36:12.400 | So that's sad to me, but there's nothing I can do about it.

00:36:17.400 | - Yeah, that callous that comes with the immigrant mentality,

00:36:20.400 | that emotional connection is not even there.

00:36:23.720 | I've had my grandmother, there's something called

00:36:28.720 | holodomor, which is starvation in Ukraine in the 1930s,

00:36:34.120 | that you had to live through.

00:36:35.440 | She lived through World War II, and there's nothing.

00:36:38.520 | Like the only way you survive that is the callous.

00:36:42.720 | - Yeah.

00:36:43.560 | - You can't talk with people that fought in major wars,

00:36:46.920 | they can't.

00:36:47.760 | - They can't, yeah.

00:36:49.480 | - You can't talk about it.

00:36:50.360 | - My mom, when she was 12 years old,

00:36:52.520 | she walked her little sister, my aunt, to school, right?

00:36:57.000 | She forgot a book, so my mom goes to my little sister,

00:37:00.320 | my aunt, "Stay here, I'm gonna go get my book."

00:37:02.920 | She ran up, she came back.

00:37:04.600 | While she was gone, a military truck ran over my aunt,

00:37:09.600 | and my mom discovered her body split in half,

00:37:12.840 | in trails, the whole thing.

00:37:14.320 | And my mom and my uncles had to go and get rice bags

00:37:17.120 | to pick up her, you know what I mean,

00:37:19.080 | and then bury my aunt.

00:37:21.280 | When you live through something like that,

00:37:22.920 | and also the guilt, 'cause my mom believes deep down

00:37:26.600 | that if she didn't forget that book,

00:37:29.160 | that my aunt would still be alive, right?

00:37:31.760 | So she carries all this guilt and this,

00:37:34.360 | and to survive all that trauma, you have to build a callous.

00:37:38.240 | Back then, they didn't have EMDR and therapists

00:37:40.760 | and psychologists and any of that, right?

00:37:42.300 | So they had to survive, so that's who she is.

00:37:45.240 | And it's sad to me that, you know what I mean,

00:37:47.960 | that she'll forever live in that torment.

00:37:52.680 | (laughing)

00:37:57.440 | - Boy, what about your own?

00:38:03.000 | What's been the darkest place you ever got in your mind?

00:38:08.000 | - You wrote that down?

00:38:11.520 | In my mind?

00:38:12.760 | - In your mind.

00:38:13.920 | You ever consider suicide?

00:38:15.980 | - Have you? - I didn't write that down.

00:38:17.400 | - Have you considered it?

00:38:19.000 | - In the distance.

00:38:20.520 | - Yeah, I've distantly thought about it.

00:38:22.860 | About four months ago, I was in a really bad place.

00:38:29.200 | I was naked in a hotel room in Arizona.

00:38:35.160 | I hadn't eaten in almost a week.

00:38:39.520 | I hadn't slept in over a week.

00:38:41.800 | And I thought I was dying.

00:38:44.360 | I was coughing up blood.

00:38:46.640 | And I was waiting to go into a outpatient psychologist

00:38:51.640 | place, you know what I mean, in Arizona.

00:38:56.760 | I literally thought I was dying.

00:38:58.680 | So recently, I was in a very dark place.

00:39:01.260 | - How much was that connected to losing your father?

00:39:03.800 | How much was that connected to rehab and that kind of stuff?

00:39:09.560 | Alcohol, drugs? - It's all the same thing, dude.

00:39:12.620 | It's all the same thing, man.

00:39:15.240 | It's all from my childhood, right?

00:39:20.040 | The reason why I do stand up is because of my childhood.

00:39:23.360 | - The hating yourself or being self-critical,

00:39:25.600 | that has to do with your childhood?

00:39:26.760 | - Yeah. - So the drugs

00:39:27.740 | and drinking is childhood? - It's childhood.

00:39:30.120 | It's all about survival and protecting your heart.

00:39:33.680 | And there were ways that I did that as a kid.

00:39:38.880 | Using humor as a defense mechanism

00:39:42.920 | and also avoidance of all emotions,

00:39:47.280 | you know what I mean, because I just wanted to feel.

00:39:49.480 | And the reason why comedy is so good,

00:39:52.840 | the reason why I was able to survive in comedy

00:39:56.160 | is because I can withstand a lot of bullshit and pain.

00:40:01.160 | You know what I mean?

00:40:05.240 | Like physical, emotional, spiritual pain,

00:40:09.200 | I can absorb it, right?

00:40:11.080 | But now what's happened later in life

00:40:16.080 | is I'm unwilling to do that.

00:40:18.300 | I'm unwilling to absorb it.

00:40:20.880 | I'm unwilling to carry this weight around with me.

00:40:24.120 | And it'll kill me.

00:40:26.820 | So I am doing everything I can

00:40:29.820 | to free myself of all this baggage.

00:40:31.840 | - Okay, so how you're naked in Arizona in a hotel room.

00:40:36.220 | Face down or face up or on the side?

00:40:40.880 | What's your favorite, when you go to a dark place?

00:40:43.640 | (laughing)

00:40:45.040 | On the floor, on the bed, or--

00:40:46.480 | - So what happened was-- - Bathtub, shower?

00:40:49.200 | - A fetal position.

00:40:51.040 | I don't lay on my stomach, that's weird.

00:40:53.460 | I'm not doing a downward dog yoga position

00:40:55.600 | or anything like that.

00:40:56.440 | No, I'm like-- - On the bed, on the floor?

00:40:59.200 | - No, what happened was,

00:41:01.520 | so I had a relapse, so I was drinking all night long.

00:41:06.360 | - What was the first relapse?

00:41:07.960 | What is the first thing you did?

00:41:10.040 | Just drank, what, wine?

00:41:12.480 | - No, I took an edible.

00:41:13.980 | Yeah.

00:41:17.000 | - And that opened the door?

00:41:18.240 | - To drinking, yeah.

00:41:20.560 | And the combination's not good for me.

00:41:22.460 | And the excess of the amount is not good for me.

00:41:27.240 | I just can't stop, and I do it 24 hours a day.

00:41:30.480 | - Were you alone?

00:41:31.380 | - Well, no, I was living with Kalilah.

00:41:34.200 | - No, I mean, at that moment, when you did the edibles.

00:41:37.060 | - I was alone, no, I took a flight,

00:41:38.320 | 'cause I was shooting Magnum,

00:41:40.760 | I'm on a show called Magnum P.I.,

00:41:42.680 | so I was flying to Hawaii, so I bought edibles,

00:41:47.080 | and then right before I was gonna get on the plane,

00:41:50.960 | I looked at my girlfriend and said, "I'm gonna relapse."

00:41:54.160 | - Oh, so you knew. - I knew.

00:41:56.080 | So I got on the plane, I took it,

00:41:58.920 | and then literally the next

00:42:01.440 | three months were like a blur.

00:42:06.480 | - Why'd you know?

00:42:07.400 | What gave you the sense that you're gonna relapse?

00:42:10.260 | - There was a couple of things that happened in my life

00:42:14.400 | that were very shocking to me.

00:42:18.960 | And I wasn't going to meetings,

00:42:25.000 | and it's the same old story.

00:42:27.480 | I was not connected to my sobriety brothers and sisters,

00:42:32.360 | and I was drifting away.

00:42:34.200 | - And something in your mind, it was just--

00:42:37.120 | - I just, the pain was too much.

00:42:38.880 | So I did it, and then, so what happened was,

00:42:41.160 | now two and a half months in, three months in,

00:42:43.720 | I started coughing up chunks of blood, right?

00:42:50.400 | So I was, 'cause I've been a smoker

00:42:53.160 | since I was 17 years old, right?

00:42:54.800 | And I was smoking so much weed and cigarettes

00:42:56.760 | I would just cough up blood.

00:42:58.320 | But then simultaneously what happened was,

00:43:02.160 | Bob Sackett and Louie Anderson died, right?

00:43:05.720 | And that week, when I was coughing up blood,

00:43:08.560 | and because of, 'cause I knew them, both of them,

00:43:11.720 | I, just in my head going, "I'm next."

00:43:14.280 | 'Cause to me, everything happens in threes.

00:43:16.840 | You know what I mean? (laughs)

00:43:19.480 | - Yeah.

00:43:20.320 | - Yeah, and I'm like, and I had convinced myself

00:43:24.000 | that I was gonna die.

00:43:25.640 | And I was on the precipice of death.

00:43:28.440 | And so I begged my people to put me

00:43:32.760 | into this place in Arizona, so,

00:43:35.240 | 'cause I knew I needed to go to a really rigorous

00:43:38.480 | psychology program to get me out of whatever,

00:43:41.000 | what I was going through.

00:43:42.200 | And also I was getting, at that time,

00:43:44.120 | when I was in that hotel room,

00:43:47.040 | I had not drank or even smoked a cigarette

00:43:51.400 | or done drug in a week.

00:43:53.080 | I had to wait in LA for this bed to open up, right?

00:43:56.400 | So I was coughing up blood, I hadn't slept,

00:43:58.840 | I hadn't eaten, right?

00:43:59.840 | I was sober, but I was in so much pain.

00:44:03.560 | And I slept naked by the door of this hotel room

00:44:07.920 | because I thought it would be easier

00:44:10.640 | for the maid to discover my body.

00:44:12.360 | I mean, that's how fucked up I was.

00:44:14.120 | I was just in this prison in my mind, you know?

00:44:18.880 | And I'm much better now.

00:44:22.840 | - Can you give some insights to how to get out

00:44:24.920 | of that place, how you got out of that place?

00:44:27.720 | - I think getting sober, first of all,

00:44:29.720 | was very important, but that still didn't do it completely.

00:44:33.440 | You know what I mean?

00:44:34.280 | I still was convinced that I was.

00:44:37.200 | And then I went to this place and I did,

00:44:40.680 | this place is a 12 hours a day psychotherapy place

00:44:45.440 | where you do 12 hours, you see therapists all day long.

00:44:49.440 | - So it's like a 12 hour long podcast every day?

00:44:52.920 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:44:54.520 | But with professionals, and they call you on your shit,

00:44:57.680 | and they tell you what's real, and they tell you,

00:45:00.040 | you know what I mean?

00:45:00.880 | You know, I'm going, also dealing with still my dad,

00:45:05.240 | still some of these other things, you know what I mean?

00:45:07.240 | And the third thing that happened was when I got back to LA

00:45:12.240 | after that place, I got my lungs checked out

00:45:17.200 | and I got my physical done, and EKG, my heart,

00:45:22.200 | all of it, and I was completely fine.

00:45:26.320 | You know, and I quit smoking.

00:45:27.640 | I haven't smoked in almost four months.

00:45:30.460 | Haven't drank and done drugs since then too.

00:45:33.640 | So there's definitely a complete clarity.

00:45:37.440 | And I have to also admit that this time around,

00:45:41.280 | it's just been completely different.

00:45:44.400 | - Is there still in the distance a fear of relapse

00:45:46.880 | and all that kind of stuff?

00:45:47.800 | Is that still?

00:45:48.840 | - No.

00:45:49.960 | - So you feel good?

00:45:50.960 | - I feel great, yeah.

00:45:53.120 | I feel better than I've ever felt.

00:45:55.360 | - Even when hard shit happens?

00:45:57.520 | - Yeah, because it's like,

00:45:58.480 | I no longer want to be in that place.

00:46:00.960 | And also on top of it, it's like,

00:46:03.380 | it would be a real shame because I've worked so hard

00:46:07.560 | to get to this place in my life,

00:46:09.000 | not just in my career, with all of it.

00:46:12.200 | You know what I mean?

00:46:13.040 | I have so much to lose.

00:46:14.160 | I have so many people that love me.

00:46:16.360 | I just don't want to be there again.

00:46:20.720 | - Let me ask you, sorry, you've talked about this before,

00:46:24.460 | but it's interesting.

00:46:25.300 | - Let me ask you a question.

00:46:26.120 | Do you always wear a suit only for the podcast?

00:46:28.760 | - Yeah, I wear it in private too.

00:46:30.280 | - Oh, you do?

00:46:31.120 | - Not always, no, because I get recognized, unfortunately.

00:46:33.960 | So I have to be selective about how I wear.

00:46:36.640 | - Do you like it when being recognized or no?

00:46:38.880 | - So because of podcasting, as you probably know,

00:46:43.240 | the people that at least recognize me

00:46:45.880 | happen to be amazing people.

00:46:48.200 | So it's an immediate connection.

00:46:51.760 | So there's two things about that I don't like.

00:46:54.600 | So one, I fall in love with people.

00:46:58.320 | And so the nature of interaction is like,

00:47:01.640 | well, it's gonna be short.

00:47:03.100 | So you have to say goodbye.

00:47:07.520 | And I hate goodbyes.

00:47:09.880 | - You do?

00:47:10.700 | - Yeah.

00:47:11.540 | And the other thing is just introversion.

00:47:13.580 | Like I just, I'm an introvert.

00:47:15.980 | I have social anxiety.

00:47:17.620 | I'm nervous about talking to people and so on.

00:47:21.220 | So you have to always, I'm walking around always

00:47:25.580 | a little bit anxious that there'll be an interaction.

00:47:30.180 | But ultimately, once it starts, it's fun, it's beautiful.

00:47:33.060 | And then the goodbye is what hurts.

00:47:35.980 | So both the hello and the goodbye is what hurts.

00:47:37.860 | It's the stuff in the middle that's delicious.

00:47:40.300 | - I think there's a beautiful thing though

00:47:41.660 | for people like you and I in a weird way.

00:47:44.180 | Because number one, I don't know about you,

00:47:49.100 | but I'm an isolator.

00:47:50.100 | I don't really like any kind of social thing.

00:47:53.940 | Even when I was doing drugs and drinking,

00:47:58.260 | I never do it with people.

00:47:59.420 | I do it privately in a garage.

00:48:01.660 | And secondly, my girlfriend and I watched "The Northman,"

00:48:08.940 | the movie "The Northman."

00:48:10.380 | - No, what is it?

00:48:12.100 | Does it tell me the plot line?

00:48:14.180 | - You've never even heard of "The Northman?"

00:48:15.700 | - I have not heard of "The Northman."

00:48:17.300 | - It's Edgar's.

00:48:18.140 | He did a movie called "The Witch."

00:48:20.420 | He also did a movie called "The Lighthouse."

00:48:22.020 | You ever see "The Lighthouse?"

00:48:23.260 | Okay, you watch movies?

00:48:25.180 | - No.

00:48:26.020 | - You've never seen a movie?

00:48:27.540 | - I've seen "The Godfather."

00:48:28.820 | - Yeah, I bet you money you've seen "Dr. Zhivago."

00:48:31.020 | - Yes.

00:48:31.860 | (laughing)

00:48:32.700 | - You have?

00:48:33.520 | - Yes.

00:48:34.360 | - Yeah, you like historical sweeping.

00:48:36.540 | - Schindler's List.

00:48:37.380 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:38.620 | If it's not historical or sweeping,

00:48:40.020 | you're not gonna like it.

00:48:41.020 | All right, so how do I explain?

00:48:43.020 | It's basically a Viking movie.

00:48:45.660 | - Okay.

00:48:46.500 | - Yeah, yeah, and one of the Skarsgård,

00:48:49.060 | I don't know, Skarsgård brothers is in it,

00:48:52.340 | Bjork's in it, Willem Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke,

00:48:56.660 | and it's a Viking revenge movie.

00:49:00.220 | - So why does it make you think about isolation?

00:49:02.180 | - No, because, no, what I was gonna say is

00:49:03.620 | when we went to the movie theater, right,

00:49:06.540 | afterwards, there was a kid sitting next to me,

00:49:09.420 | and he just looks at me, 'cause I guess he didn't know

00:49:12.900 | I was sitting next to him or whatever,

00:49:14.900 | and he just went, "Hey, dude, I just can't believe

00:49:19.380 | "you're sitting next to me, and you're my hero,

00:49:24.120 | "and I'm doing comedy, and it's really hard."

00:49:28.460 | So I was able to give him some encouraging things,

00:49:31.420 | 'cause that's who I am, too, you know what I mean?

00:49:34.180 | I wanna help people, and I also,

00:49:37.180 | the idea that he likes me, 'cause he also spouted off

00:49:42.380 | specifics about my life, about my comedy,

00:49:45.540 | and this and that, so he definitely was a fan,

00:49:48.980 | and I was able to, I'm not, even if I become

00:49:53.980 | Joe Rogan famous or that big, you know what I mean,

00:49:58.420 | I'm always going to say hi to people,

00:50:01.060 | I'm always gonna take photos with people,

00:50:03.180 | I like that part of me.

00:50:06.220 | It makes me feel also that I belong in a weird way,

00:50:09.260 | because I felt so invisible before I did comedy.

00:50:12.500 | You know what I mean, I felt invisible,

00:50:14.020 | and it puts me in the game of life, I think,

00:50:17.740 | in a weird way, so I think it's good for you as well.

00:50:20.560 | - Yeah, it's a little moment of experiencing love.

00:50:24.080 | It's like, it does feel like celebrating life together.

00:50:28.300 | You smile at each other and so on,

00:50:30.020 | although you did say, I think in a recent podcast,

00:50:32.780 | that people recognize you, but recognize you incorrectly.

00:50:37.780 | - That I don't like.

00:50:39.460 | (laughing)

00:50:40.620 | That's the opposite of love.

00:50:42.140 | - Okay.

00:50:42.980 | - Yeah, that I don't like, loved you in the hangover.

00:50:46.940 | - Yeah.

00:50:47.780 | - You know what I mean, or this is what I don't like,

00:50:51.020 | this is why I hate this.

00:50:52.220 | - Yes.

00:50:53.820 | - Some guy will like me, right, I'll take a photo,

00:50:56.580 | and then other people will go, huh, he's somebody,

00:50:59.740 | and will walk up to me and go,

00:51:01.340 | hey, so why did he take a photo?

00:51:03.300 | You know what I mean, I want a photo.

00:51:04.620 | - Yeah.

00:51:05.460 | - And then you're like, no, would you do that?

00:51:08.460 | No, I don't like that.

00:51:10.300 | - No.

00:51:11.140 | - Yeah, yeah.

00:51:11.960 | - No, but I do like the experience where maybe,

00:51:15.700 | there's a couple, a guy and a girl, boyfriend and girlfriend

00:51:20.060 | and the guy is a fan and the girlfriend has no idea.

00:51:24.180 | And it's always a funny interaction.

00:51:25.380 | - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:26.220 | - Because she's trying to figure out what is happening here.

00:51:28.580 | - Yeah.

00:51:29.420 | - And it's always beautiful to see.

00:51:30.580 | - But what if the guy, when the guy explains

00:51:32.940 | to his girlfriend who you are,

00:51:34.860 | do you feel uncomfortable about that?

00:51:35.980 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it loads,

00:51:37.300 | the information is transferred quickly

00:51:39.380 | and she starts to understand.

00:51:40.980 | Because she's not used to her boyfriend

00:51:43.380 | being excited about a stranger.

00:51:46.140 | - Yeah.

00:51:46.980 | - It's like, what's happening here?

00:51:48.220 | So it's a fascinating little dynamic that's beautiful.

00:51:50.620 | It's like the spread of information happens right there

00:51:53.260 | in real life, it's beautiful.

00:51:55.460 | - It's mostly though, would you say that

00:51:58.940 | it's probably usually men that recognize you or?

00:52:02.700 | - No, but men, the thing I've discovered is

00:52:05.980 | men are more likely to approach aggressively, right?

00:52:09.500 | Women recognize you, they have a different way

00:52:12.060 | of like double take.

00:52:13.780 | They don't want to invade your space.

00:52:17.500 | Guys are like, bro!

00:52:18.940 | (laughing)

00:52:19.780 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:20.620 | - And then they come in with a hug.

00:52:21.940 | I had a, South by Southwest, had a guy,

00:52:27.620 | I was just walking to a 7-11, I go to a 7-11 a lot,

00:52:30.180 | my favorite spot.

00:52:31.420 | - 7-11?

00:52:32.260 | - 7-11, yes.

00:52:33.100 | - Why?

00:52:34.140 | - Sugar-free slushie, I think.

00:52:36.460 | For happiness, I find happiness at a 7-11.

00:52:39.860 | - So adorable.

00:52:41.060 | - Late at night.

00:52:42.100 | And he came up and, you know what,

00:52:43.380 | can I tell you something that happened to me?

00:52:44.940 | I haven't told anybody, this never happened to me before.

00:52:48.420 | I was outside of a 7-11 in Austin,

00:52:50.660 | I'm not gonna say which one,

00:52:52.260 | and there was a gentleman that approached me,

00:52:56.020 | this was at three or four at night,

00:52:58.460 | which is usually when I go, I program all night,

00:53:01.260 | and I just like to go and take a break.

00:53:03.980 | He approached me in the way that maybe somebody

00:53:06.180 | who recognized me approached me.

00:53:07.660 | He did a double take, he walked past me,

00:53:10.420 | and then walked back, and then looked at me,

00:53:14.100 | and I went into the 7-11, I thought, that's weird.

00:53:17.420 | And then I came out with my slushie,

00:53:19.620 | and then he approached me,

00:53:25.300 | and he said, can I give you a blow job?

00:53:28.100 | So I have never--

00:53:34.100 | (laughing)

00:53:36.340 | - No, really?

00:53:39.060 | - Yeah, so the energy he put, I've never had--

00:53:40.900 | - Were you wearing a suit?

00:53:42.260 | - No. - Okay.

00:53:43.100 | - I was wearing like sweatpants,

00:53:46.380 | and I was very kind of like hiding from the world.

00:53:48.820 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:49.860 | - Type of thing, I've never had anybody approach me that way,

00:53:52.100 | but the energy he put, the love he had in the approach,

00:53:55.660 | I thought he would be like--

00:53:57.140 | - Love you on Rogan?

00:53:59.980 | - Yeah, love, yeah.

00:54:00.820 | (laughing)

00:54:01.660 | Something like love, some kind of,

00:54:03.740 | and then he just said, can I,

00:54:05.540 | I'm forgetting the exact wording,

00:54:07.580 | because it wasn't, the wording was such that he wasn't,

00:54:12.580 | he wanted to make me happy.

00:54:15.100 | - Ah.

00:54:15.940 | - He didn't want to make himself happy,

00:54:18.100 | he wanted to make me happy.

00:54:19.340 | - Well, when--

00:54:20.180 | - Oh God, can I give you a blowjob?

00:54:22.060 | I think that was the thing.

00:54:23.980 | - 'Cause if he said, can you give me a blowjob,

00:54:26.300 | it would be weird.

00:54:27.140 | - It would be very different.

00:54:27.980 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:28.820 | - No, but I think there's more aggressive way

00:54:30.500 | of phrasing that, but he presented himself,

00:54:33.180 | see, I forget, it was almost like gentle and poetic,

00:54:37.140 | and I was like, I just stuttered and said,

00:54:40.820 | no, no, thank you.

00:54:41.860 | (laughing)

00:54:44.380 | - Move past--

00:54:45.220 | - That's what everyone does.

00:54:46.180 | - Yeah.

00:54:47.020 | - No thank you to a blowjob proposition.

00:54:47.860 | - Well, I would probably stutter,

00:54:49.060 | no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:54:50.180 | thank you.

00:54:51.020 | - In my mind, I was like, is this a threat?

00:54:53.020 | Because it's Fortnite.

00:54:54.700 | - Ah.

00:54:55.540 | - I wasn't exactly sure.

00:54:56.660 | I mean, I've never experienced this.

00:54:58.060 | I imagine this is what sort of women often experience,

00:55:01.780 | that kind of the danger, the constant threat

00:55:03.860 | all around you.

00:55:04.880 | But I've never, this just, it was a funny little moment.

00:55:08.540 | I didn't know what to do with it.

00:55:10.140 | - Yeah.

00:55:10.980 | - That happened, and I go to that 7-Eleven often

00:55:14.820 | looking for the guy.

00:55:15.900 | (laughing)

00:55:17.060 | - At least now, now I would say yes, no.

00:55:20.180 | - There used to be a steam room in Beverly,

00:55:22.740 | on Beverly Boulevard, and my brother and I

00:55:26.180 | walked in there once, and we walked in,

00:55:28.740 | and it was a man sitting there, erection,

00:55:31.700 | and his dick was so big, he was jerking it off

00:55:33.740 | with both hands.

00:55:35.660 | And we kind of walked in, and he goes, "What's up?"

00:55:38.300 | And he just did it.

00:55:39.140 | - Kept going.

00:55:39.980 | - And we just sat there, you know what I mean?

00:55:41.700 | Because it was not aggressive.

00:55:43.980 | - Yeah.

00:55:44.820 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:45.640 | That was the same feeling, you sensed that

00:55:47.380 | it wasn't an aggressive thing.

00:55:48.820 | - Yeah, it wasn't.

00:55:49.660 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:50.480 | It was just a kind, he was just minding his own business,

00:55:52.820 | and he threw it out.

00:55:54.420 | - But it wasn't also, it wasn't sexual either.

00:55:57.700 | It was like, it was like, it's just, you know,

00:56:00.700 | it's just like, it's like love or something.

00:56:03.020 | - Yeah.

00:56:03.860 | - I felt like, it's almost like, can I give you a hug?

00:56:06.580 | - Right, then why didn't you just take it?

00:56:08.700 | - I keep looking for it.

00:56:10.580 | Next time I see it, but not in a gay way.

00:56:13.100 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:14.380 | - I just want to be clear about that.

00:56:15.680 | - Did you grow up in Russia or Ukraine?

00:56:18.640 | - Russia.

00:56:19.480 | - Russia.

00:56:20.300 | - Yeah.

00:56:21.140 | - But your great grandmother, your grandmother was in--

00:56:22.640 | - My father is Ukrainian.

00:56:24.120 | - Oh, your father is Ukrainian.

00:56:24.960 | - My grandmother is Ukrainian.

00:56:26.160 | So if you just look at the full family tree,

00:56:28.280 | it's about half and half is Russian.

00:56:30.160 | - There's a lot of conflict with you right now.

00:56:32.240 | - Internally, yeah.

00:56:33.080 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:33.920 | - Let me ask, you've talked about this before,

00:56:35.680 | but I'd love to sort of re-explore this.

00:56:38.640 | Is Carlos Mencia.

00:56:40.560 | - Oh my God.

00:56:41.480 | - Yeah.

00:56:42.320 | - Why?

00:56:43.140 | - Why go there again?

00:56:43.980 | - Yeah.

00:56:44.820 | - I'm willing to do it, but do you like Carlos?

00:56:48.560 | - Well, first of all, I'm friends with Joe,

00:56:51.200 | and I remember being a fan of,

00:56:53.240 | I'm outside of this whole world.

00:56:54.840 | I remember thinking Carlos was funny.

00:56:56.760 | - Yeah.

00:56:57.600 | - So just as a fan, I was like, oh, funny.

00:56:59.600 | And then I remember all this big controversy

00:57:03.160 | about him stealing jokes.

00:57:05.860 | And because I'm a fan of yours,

00:57:10.200 | it's such an interesting human dynamic.

00:57:12.180 | And I'm a fan of friendship and loyalty.

00:57:14.600 | And you had a great podcast conversation with him.

00:57:17.840 | It was tense.

00:57:18.680 | - It was so tense.

00:57:19.500 | - It was very tense.

00:57:20.340 | - Yeah.

00:57:21.180 | - But it was interesting.

00:57:22.660 | And it kind of, well, it makes me think of you

00:57:25.680 | talking to your father on that bench.

00:57:27.400 | (laughing)

00:57:29.780 | - Yeah, that's essentially what it was.

00:57:31.620 | - Some of it wasn't getting through.

00:57:33.040 | But maybe, how do you feel about that whole thing

00:57:37.280 | about the guy?

00:57:38.120 | I mean, he gave you, he's a friend.

00:57:40.200 | He gave you a lot.

00:57:42.460 | But you're also a comedian, so stealing jokes is no good.

00:57:47.460 | But also there's like a, I don't know,

00:57:50.180 | all the tensions in your heart about all that whole thing.

00:57:53.140 | How do you feel about it?

00:57:54.380 | Do you forgive him?

00:57:57.480 | - Okay, let's go back to,

00:58:00.820 | it's very Shakespearean in a very weird way.

00:58:03.900 | Why?

00:58:04.740 | Because there's some betrayal there.

00:58:07.140 | You know what I mean?

00:58:07.980 | There's a lot of drama when it comes to that situation.

00:58:11.520 | Again, also, I'm a very loyal guy.

00:58:13.960 | Like I've had the same manager since the late '90s.

00:58:18.960 | And I've had every gigantic manager wanna sign me,

00:58:24.840 | even though my manager is great, right?

00:58:27.240 | She's in a big company, right?

00:58:28.700 | And there's only so much she can do.

00:58:30.680 | And maybe, you know what I mean?

00:58:32.360 | My career would have been different

00:58:33.560 | if I would have signed with a bigger management.

00:58:35.560 | I don't know, right?

00:58:36.900 | But I will never leave her.

00:58:40.060 | I'll never leave my agent, Matt, you know?

00:58:43.080 | People go, "Well, you're at CAA, that's amazing."

00:58:44.920 | The only reason why I'm at CAA is because of Matt Blake.

00:58:48.320 | So there are certain loyalties that I have.

00:58:50.960 | The Comedy Store.

00:58:52.040 | I mean, I generally play the Comedy Store mostly

00:58:56.480 | because my loyalties are with them.

00:58:59.560 | I don't know if that's a good trait,

00:59:01.600 | but it's just the way I am, right?

00:59:03.960 | - I admire that, yeah.

00:59:04.960 | - Okay, so when it comes to Carlos,

00:59:08.200 | in the mid '90s is when I met him.

00:59:11.520 | I was a doorman at the La Jolla Comedy Store.

00:59:14.160 | He brought me on the road.

00:59:15.920 | He introduced me to Matt Blake, my agent, right?

00:59:18.800 | And he bought me a car.

00:59:21.480 | When I couldn't pay rent and I was really desperate,

00:59:26.560 | I could always go to him for money.

00:59:28.600 | And he helped me out in so many different ways, right?

00:59:32.600 | So I really appreciate that.

00:59:37.640 | Paulie did the same thing.

00:59:39.720 | So anyway, and then all of a sudden,

00:59:44.320 | and I always knew going on the road with him

00:59:46.240 | that number one, I found it odd

00:59:48.840 | that he never had a notebook.

00:59:50.280 | Usually comics riff with each other

00:59:56.080 | and they write things down.

00:59:57.720 | You know what I mean?

00:59:58.560 | Me, I'll get together with people and write.

01:00:00.920 | You know what I mean?

01:00:01.760 | I'll do a new joke night because I'm too scared

01:00:04.240 | to try it in front of a packed room

01:00:05.640 | or whatever it might be, okay?

01:00:07.680 | He never did that, right?

01:00:09.280 | And he had hours of material.

01:00:11.800 | And a lot of it was derivative of other people's.

01:00:17.440 | He would sometimes hear a bit, change it to Mexican.

01:00:23.160 | Like for instance, if Paul Mooney had a joke

01:00:26.480 | about black people, he would change it, change it a bit.

01:00:29.860 | But premise wise, it was always extremely too similar.

01:00:34.860 | And there were examples on the internet.

01:00:37.020 | So there's things that you can't really deny.

01:00:40.180 | And so when that whole thing happened,

01:00:42.640 | it was like the Titanic.

01:00:45.440 | I mean, I was either gonna sink with Carlos or survive.

01:00:50.440 | And I did the worst, not the worst thing,

01:00:53.060 | but I had made a difficult decision

01:00:54.860 | and my decision was to cut ties.

01:00:57.980 | And over the years, I have felt very guilty about it

01:01:02.980 | in some respects, but there is always in my mind,

01:01:08.340 | I wanna help him.

01:01:11.180 | I wanna help him reestablish some sort of a different

01:01:16.500 | route for him to go in terms of his career and whatnot.

01:01:20.420 | And so I had him on my podcast

01:01:22.780 | and it didn't go the way I wanted it to go.

01:01:25.820 | I've always believed if he just fully just was apologetic

01:01:30.100 | and said, "I'm sorry for stealing in general

01:01:33.300 | "because we don't know specifically."

01:01:35.340 | I mean, there's specifics, you know what I mean?

01:01:38.900 | And I don't wanna argue every case.

01:01:42.500 | So I thought the healthiest thing to do

01:01:44.140 | was like in just an abroad way,

01:01:46.360 | "Listen, I stole, I'm so sorry.

01:01:49.300 | "These are the reasons why.

01:01:50.980 | "And I'm a different guy now,

01:01:52.700 | "but it just never happened in that way."

01:01:55.820 | And so it's been difficult.

01:01:58.140 | - So you don't think he self-reflected looking in the mirror

01:02:01.740 | about mistakes of the past at all?

01:02:03.380 | Like, do you think he's aware?

01:02:05.660 | - I think it's ego.

01:02:07.260 | I think that he, for one reason or another,

01:02:12.260 | because there are probably jokes

01:02:16.300 | that he legitimately in his heart know that he wrote,

01:02:20.100 | that people are accusing of stealing, right?

01:02:22.620 | But it's like, we don't know, right?

01:02:26.060 | So it's like, just apologize for all of it, right?

01:02:30.100 | But he won't.

01:02:30.940 | He fights for every point.

01:02:35.620 | And I just think that that's not the route.

01:02:39.620 | And he, I mean, he's always gonna make money.

01:02:44.620 | But he's never gonna be what he should be,

01:02:48.500 | which is he's a powerful performer.

01:02:52.580 | In terms of laughs, I mean, dude,

01:02:55.260 | I wouldn't wanna follow him.

01:02:57.100 | He's a crusher.

01:02:58.300 | So it's like, it's really, he can act.

01:03:02.180 | He has all the skill sets.

01:03:03.900 | It's just that, to me, he went about it in the wrong way,

01:03:08.500 | and it's sad to me.

01:03:09.780 | But I still always love him,

01:03:10.940 | and I've always will thank him

01:03:13.460 | for all the help that he's done.

01:03:15.420 | - So you still got room in your heart for him?

01:03:18.060 | - I have room for my heart for a lot of people, man.

01:03:20.940 | Hitler.

01:03:22.780 | (laughing)

01:03:25.020 | - All right, what was, returning back to Tiger Belly,

01:03:27.780 | 'cause you said Kalilah basically started it.

01:03:31.220 | What's the origin story of Tiger Belly?

01:03:33.540 | - You know, when I met her.

01:03:35.180 | - Oh, by the way, for people listening,

01:03:36.780 | in case you somehow don't know what Tiger Belly is,

01:03:38.700 | it's a podcast you do.

01:03:39.780 | It's an amazing podcast.

01:03:40.860 | You also do "Bad Friends" with Anderson Tino.

01:03:44.820 | - Yeah. - So on.

01:03:45.660 | - Thank you so much for the plug.

01:03:46.860 | Appreciate it.

01:03:47.700 | - I don't know, it's content, it's not the plug.

01:03:49.100 | - Can I plug other things, though,

01:03:50.140 | since we're doing it?

01:03:51.380 | - Sure, sure.

01:03:52.220 | Oh, what's your--

01:03:53.060 | - I'm on a show called--

01:03:54.140 | - Okay, that's enough of that.

01:03:54.980 | - Okay, thank you.

01:03:55.820 | So, what--

01:03:56.660 | - What's the name of the show you're on?

01:03:59.300 | - I'm on a couple.

01:04:00.260 | - A couple shows?

01:04:01.420 | Oh, that's good for you.

01:04:02.260 | Netflix?

01:04:03.580 | - No.

01:04:04.420 | - Okay.

01:04:05.260 | - I'm on "Sex and the City."

01:04:07.780 | - "Sex and the City."

01:04:08.700 | - Yeah.

01:04:09.580 | - I'm on "Reservation Dogs."

01:04:11.100 | It's an FX show.

01:04:13.700 | - Wait, "Sex and the City" is not a joke?

01:04:16.260 | - No, I am actually on "Sex and the City."

01:04:18.180 | - Wait, are they rebooting the show?

01:04:19.660 | - They did.

01:04:20.500 | - Okay.

01:04:21.340 | - And just like that, "Sex and the City."

01:04:23.540 | - Oh, and you're on it.

01:04:24.980 | - Yeah.

01:04:25.820 | - Is this not a joke?

01:04:27.100 | - You can Google it.

01:04:28.140 | - Okay.

01:04:29.260 | - You know what I mean?

01:04:30.100 | - Who do you play?

01:04:31.260 | - I play a podcaster on it.

01:04:33.500 | On the show, Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie has a podcast,

01:04:37.860 | and I'm her podcast partner.

01:04:39.740 | - Oh, got it, perfect.

01:04:40.860 | Beautiful.

01:04:41.700 | - But I'm also, now my storyline, anyway, it's fine.

01:04:44.980 | - Do you sleep with somebody on there?

01:04:46.700 | - I am married on the show, yeah.

01:04:48.140 | They showed my, I'm married to a young lady on it, yeah.

01:04:51.300 | - All right.

01:04:52.140 | (laughing)

01:04:53.900 | It felt like a joke.

01:04:54.740 | It felt like a joke.

01:04:55.580 | - I know, 'cause you don't think doing it,

01:04:57.660 | I look around going, "Are you sure I'm supposed

01:04:59.700 | "to be on this?"

01:05:01.540 | You know what I mean?

01:05:02.380 | I do feel that, but lo and behold, I'm on it.

01:05:05.660 | - Yeah, you are.

01:05:06.700 | - So, I started this way.

01:05:08.100 | So, you know, my friend David Cho, you know him?

01:05:11.300 | He's an artist.

01:05:12.420 | He used to have a podcast, right, called DVD ASA.

01:05:18.260 | And he used to have me on it,

01:05:21.540 | and then Kalila started doing it.

01:05:23.700 | And then when DVD ASA ended, Kalila was just like,

01:05:27.900 | "Let's start our own."

01:05:28.740 | And I was like, "Nah, it's not gonna work."

01:05:31.580 | So, she goes, "Well, fine.

01:05:32.540 | "I'm gonna just do it on my own then."

01:05:34.620 | So, she went and bought the equipment,

01:05:36.740 | and we were living in a condo at the time in Hollywood,

01:05:40.100 | and she would do 'em on her own.

01:05:44.040 | She did probably three on her own.

01:05:46.860 | And one day, I was watching television.

01:05:48.820 | The door was open to the podcast room,

01:05:51.420 | and I turned around, and she was literally like this.

01:05:55.100 | We had a table like this.

01:05:56.380 | She had the mic and all that stuff,

01:05:58.140 | and she was doing this.

01:05:59.180 | She was slumped over like this,

01:06:01.540 | and I just kinda went, "Fuck it."

01:06:04.820 | So, I walked in there.

01:06:05.660 | I go, "All right, let's just do one."

01:06:08.060 | And that's how it started.

01:06:10.280 | - And then chemistry was there immediately.

01:06:12.100 | - Well, I already knew that she could do it

01:06:13.460 | because of DVD ASA, right?

01:06:14.700 | So, I already knew that she had the skill set.

01:06:16.580 | It's just all about, even in this conversation

01:06:20.300 | that you and I had today, there are gaps of like,

01:06:23.760 | "Oh, what else should we talk about?"

01:06:26.380 | Or like, "I don't know what direction."

01:06:28.460 | And it's all about the old improv rule, adding information.

01:06:33.460 | Even if you don't know what you're gonna say,

01:06:36.100 | just fill the dead space with something.

01:06:39.700 | So, if right now, if we stopped talking about something,

01:06:42.380 | I'd be like, "When I asked you,

01:06:44.180 | "Did you grow up in Russia or Ukraine?"

01:06:46.980 | Was one of those dead spaces where I was just like,

01:06:49.260 | "Let's just throw it out there, see where this goes."

01:06:51.980 | And she has that ability to fill that dead space

01:06:54.860 | with information.

01:06:55.900 | That's all you need.

01:06:57.100 | And she gets it in that way.

01:07:00.100 | So, it's like when we started doing it at DVD ASA,

01:07:04.980 | I just knew that she had the skill set.

01:07:06.300 | So, when we started doing it for Tiger Belly,

01:07:08.620 | it was a given, she can do it.

01:07:11.180 | I've had girlfriends that wouldn't be able to do it.

01:07:12.740 | What are you doing?

01:07:14.780 | (laughs)

01:07:16.860 | You have the skill set.

01:07:21.540 | You're a science-y guy.

01:07:24.100 | You spend all night long, you know what I mean?

01:07:26.500 | You know what I mean?

01:07:27.340 | And doing whatever you're fucking doing, right?

01:07:29.380 | But you have this innate ability to do it, right?

01:07:33.660 | And I think it's a talent.

01:07:35.780 | Do you think it's a talent?

01:07:40.140 | No, do you think you have talent?

01:07:42.220 | What are you doing?

01:07:45.300 | (laughs)

01:07:46.140 | I know what you're doing, not adding information.

01:07:48.300 | I know what you're doing, that's a good bit.

01:07:49.580 | It's a good bit.

01:07:50.500 | - I kept doing it and you kept filling the space.

01:07:52.500 | It's quite interesting.

01:07:53.500 | - Yeah, that is true, huh?

01:07:54.740 | - 'Cause you're yes-ing yourself, which is great.

01:07:58.020 | The improv thing, that was really impressive.

01:08:00.300 | - Can I ask you a question?

01:08:01.220 | - Sure.

01:08:02.060 | - Have you ever had a guest on that didn't add information

01:08:05.820 | and then you had to keep doing it?

01:08:09.140 | - Yeah, yeah, but it's part of the magic too.

01:08:13.780 | And sometimes I feel like they were actually giving me

01:08:18.180 | a gift of silence and I was stepping on it.

01:08:21.620 | Like for example, I had a conversation with Jocko,

01:08:24.300 | you know, Jocko Willink,

01:08:25.780 | and every question I would ask him in the beginning,

01:08:28.860 | and I'm now better friends with him,

01:08:31.060 | that was the first time we met in that conversation.

01:08:34.220 | And I would ask him these long questions

01:08:36.380 | about mumble and meander and so on.

01:08:38.180 | And he would answer with yes or no, and that's it.

01:08:41.460 | - Yeah.

01:08:42.420 | - And then, but he'd do it in a strong, like Viking-like way.

01:08:47.420 | And I kept trying to go full, like Bobby Lee style

01:08:53.100 | of create chaos and just keep talking and talking and so on,

01:08:59.860 | as opposed to, I think he was inviting me more

01:09:02.060 | for the stoic type of silence, short sentences,

01:09:07.060 | that kind of conversation.

01:09:08.340 | So I fucked that up, I believe.

01:09:10.740 | But yeah, there's, not the adding information part,

01:09:15.740 | but the adding chemistry part, where it's usually ego,

01:09:21.180 | where people don't realize there's a magic

01:09:24.820 | to be found between two humans.

01:09:27.340 | Like genuinely, it's like a first date.

01:09:29.900 | That to truly listen to each other

01:09:32.300 | and to do the yes and thing and have fun with it.

01:09:35.700 | When you have this energy, I'm way too important

01:09:39.900 | for this conversation, that, yeah,

01:09:42.700 | the information might be there, but the chemistry's not.

01:09:45.460 | So you have to remember that a lot of the podcasts

01:09:47.460 | I've done are like technical.

01:09:49.580 | - Yeah.

01:09:50.420 | - And so you could still say a lot of stuff

01:09:53.300 | about like what this project, or whether it's physics

01:09:57.620 | or robotics or biology, you could say informational stuff,

01:10:01.140 | but the excitement, the magic is not there.

01:10:04.540 | But I often blame myself, because like,

01:10:06.820 | if I'm excited, they'll be excited, I've learned this.

01:10:11.340 | So I'm learning I'm not allowed to have like a bored face,

01:10:16.180 | which my face naturally looks bored,

01:10:20.260 | but on the inside, I'm excited.

01:10:22.900 | - Yeah.

01:10:23.740 | - So it might be a Russian thing, I don't know.

01:10:25.300 | - It's not, can I tell you why you're not boring, your face?

01:10:28.700 | - Right.

01:10:29.740 | - Because you have crow's feet.

01:10:31.740 | - Oh, this thing?

01:10:34.300 | - Yeah.

01:10:35.140 | - Is that what the thing?

01:10:35.980 | - Yeah, and the reason why you have crow's feet

01:10:37.660 | is you smile a lot.

01:10:39.540 | - Yeah.

01:10:40.380 | - Yeah, you're very expressive.

01:10:42.100 | I know white dudes, I don't trust white dudes, right,

01:10:45.140 | with no crow's feet, right, because that means

01:10:47.860 | that they're not accessing that part of their face.

01:10:52.860 | - Yeah, which is why I hate

01:10:54.580 | when, this is an LA thing especially,

01:10:58.000 | women have talked to me about like Botox,

01:11:02.380 | and they hate the crow, they hate, not me, on themselves.

01:11:06.940 | - Oh.

01:11:07.780 | - And they hate 'cause it's all wrinkles and stuff like that,

01:11:10.220 | and to me it's like, no, that's where the,

01:11:12.780 | that's the magic. - Magic, that's the magic.

01:11:14.260 | It really is, yeah.

01:11:16.180 | - So, okay, so the interesting thing about tiger belly

01:11:19.540 | is there's some weird like aesthetic to it.

01:11:22.260 | It's really unique, it's not just good,

01:11:24.020 | it's also unique, like in the way

01:11:25.580 | that Wes Anderson films are unique,

01:11:27.260 | like Life Aquatic, I don't know if you know those films.

01:11:29.260 | - Yeah, I love those, I mean, they're my favorite films,

01:11:31.020 | yeah.

01:11:31.860 | - What is that, what is that?

01:11:33.400 | It's not just the chemistry between you and Kalilah,

01:11:36.620 | it's like, what is that?

01:11:38.500 | Can you put a finger on it, or is it just like?

01:11:41.260 | - Well, it's essentially who I am.

01:11:43.740 | That's what my, all my houses have looked like that.

01:11:47.860 | You know what I mean, like I've always been a collector

01:11:49.740 | of designer toys, you know what I mean,

01:11:52.580 | I've always been a collector of kind of weird artwork.

01:11:56.500 | Yeah, I've always been like that.

01:11:58.900 | You know, I like weird wallpaper, like I'll get,

01:12:02.420 | instead of like going to a wallpaper store,

01:12:05.020 | what I'll do is I'll get artwork that I like

01:12:08.360 | from an artist, like, and go get the, you know,

01:12:11.660 | get their approval, and go to a place

01:12:14.180 | and make wallpaper out of their artwork.

01:12:16.700 | You know what I mean?

01:12:18.580 | You can, like if I wanted a Lex Friedman,

01:12:21.340 | your face on my wall, I would ask for your permission,

01:12:24.740 | and I would probably put your face on a gigantic wall.

01:12:27.060 | Like, I would do stuff like that.

01:12:28.660 | - That's awesome.

01:12:29.500 | - Yeah, but I--

01:12:30.340 | - Can you do that?

01:12:31.160 | - Yeah.

01:12:32.000 | - You have my permission.

01:12:32.840 | - You know, I think I will.

01:12:34.380 | - Yeah.

01:12:35.200 | - You know, I think I will just for the laugh.

01:12:36.260 | - Yeah.

01:12:37.100 | - You know what I mean, but I would do it--

01:12:37.920 | - I'd love to get it big, please.

01:12:38.760 | - Yeah, yeah.

01:12:39.600 | Yeah, but my point is that I,

01:12:41.880 | yeah, it's essentially who I am on the inside, I guess,

01:12:45.700 | in terms of like my, you know, I don't know,

01:12:48.780 | but I don't really, I've never,

01:12:50.860 | I'm glad you said that,

01:12:52.500 | because I never even thought about that.

01:12:56.640 | - Yeah, it's just who you are.

01:12:57.480 | - You know, you just kind of do it, like this, you know,

01:13:00.860 | 'cause all your podcasts have this black, ominous thing.

01:13:04.780 | - Yep.

01:13:05.620 | - You're wearing a black suit.

01:13:07.740 | You have a specific thing, too.

01:13:09.340 | It's like--

01:13:10.180 | - Yeah, but I don't really think,

01:13:11.320 | people ask me like, "Why do you wear a suit?"

01:13:12.860 | I really don't, I just feel good in it.

01:13:14.900 | - Yeah.

01:13:15.740 | - It's just who I am.

01:13:16.560 | - And the reason why my podcast looks the way I do

01:13:18.340 | is because I feel comfortable in that environment,

01:13:21.460 | and it, you know, like you,

01:13:24.340 | I don't try to think too much about

01:13:27.060 | what I'm doing on "Tiger Belly,"

01:13:29.500 | or even "Bad Friends," right?

01:13:30.740 | Because when you start thinking about it,

01:13:32.860 | and go, "We should do this segment,

01:13:34.220 | "and I should, you know, do it this way,

01:13:36.420 | "or this podcast does it this way, so why," you know,

01:13:39.400 | no, I just show up, I keep my mind open,

01:13:42.900 | and I do the best I can.

01:13:44.500 | I add information like we talked about,

01:13:46.460 | and I just keep talking, right?

01:13:47.900 | And I try to be authentically myself.

01:13:50.620 | Like right now, you know, I had this fear

01:13:52.940 | when I was, I was, I shit in your fucking bathroom, man.

01:13:56.060 | - Yeah.

01:13:56.900 | - Because I was so scared.

01:13:57.720 | - Out of fear, you shit out of fear.

01:13:58.560 | - Out of fear, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:59.760 | And like, you know, I was like kind of nervous,

01:14:01.580 | 'cause I, you know, this whole week,

01:14:04.140 | it was anticipating coming here,

01:14:06.380 | and I watched the Mark Normand one,

01:14:08.900 | I watched the Giannis one to see, you know, how tonally,

01:14:13.300 | and last night, my girlfriend just looked at me

01:14:14.740 | and just goes, "Just show up."

01:14:17.620 | - Yeah, Kalilah knows who I am.

01:14:20.940 | - Dude, you think that, first of all,

01:14:24.220 | let me ask you something.

01:14:25.060 | - Yes.

01:14:25.900 | - You think I have the day, you know how busy I am,

01:14:29.220 | to drive all the way over here to West Hollywood

01:14:33.740 | to do your fucking thing?

01:14:34.900 | Why would I do that?

01:14:36.320 | - Yeah.

01:14:37.160 | - 'Cause we are well aware of who you are,

01:14:38.820 | and we like you.

01:14:40.340 | - Thank you, man.

01:14:41.180 | - God, and we want you on ours.

01:14:42.380 | - I would love that, I would love that.

01:14:44.340 | I mean, that's, the reason I'm doing this

01:14:46.780 | is just to get on your podcast.

01:14:47.780 | - You gotta get on it.

01:14:48.820 | - Awesome.

01:14:49.660 | Yeah, it's funny, 'cause I just mentioned to you offline,

01:14:54.300 | I got a chance to talk to Oliver Stone,

01:14:56.700 | and he asked me this thing, which is, you know,

01:14:58.700 | how many listeners does this thing get,

01:15:01.860 | all that kind of stuff,

01:15:03.060 | and I don't even pay attention to that.

01:15:05.340 | So it's like, I just don't.

01:15:07.500 | - A little bit though, you do?

01:15:08.660 | Don't?

01:15:09.980 | - I wrote extensions on my browsers

01:15:11.820 | where I don't see the views, the number of views.

01:15:14.220 | - Oh, really?

01:15:15.060 | - Yeah, don't pay attention.

01:15:15.900 | - Like some of your YouTube videos on interviews and stuff

01:15:18.580 | have over a million.

01:15:19.860 | - That I know, I know like loosely that,

01:15:22.940 | like, it bleeds through,

01:15:25.380 | but it's not part of my conscious, like,

01:15:27.900 | thing I think about.

01:15:30.500 | I'm very, I've just seen it destroy people's minds

01:15:34.380 | where they're no longer thinking creatively,

01:15:36.380 | they're not, they don't feel good if something they do

01:15:39.860 | doesn't get as much as attention as they thought it should.

01:15:43.460 | It just can destroy you.

01:15:44.940 | Even though it's good,

01:15:45.940 | it could be great stuff you create

01:15:47.620 | that nobody, everybody ignores.

01:15:50.140 | But it was still great.

01:15:51.660 | It is still great.

01:15:54.020 | And sort of letting that negatively affect your mind

01:15:57.460 | is a, I don't know, I've seen it destroy people,

01:15:59.460 | so I'm very nervous about that.

01:16:01.420 | It's like that old saying, never live in the results.

01:16:05.380 | It's like if I podcast to make,

01:16:09.100 | I'd like initially, honestly,

01:16:12.140 | when I did Tiger Belly,

01:16:12.980 | we made no money for the first couple of years.

01:16:16.340 | Like, not enough to put a dent,

01:16:20.780 | I couldn't buy anything, like, you know, nice or anything.

01:16:24.540 | It was just side money, you know what I mean?

01:16:26.700 | I could buy some shoes once a month or whatever, right?

01:16:29.700 | And like I said before,

01:16:31.780 | I was, my career was in the shitter, right?

01:16:34.940 | So Tiger Belly wasn't like, this is gonna be the thing.

01:16:38.340 | You know what I mean?

01:16:39.180 | It was just something to do with my girlfriend creatively,

01:16:41.100 | you know, and it just so happens

01:16:44.300 | that it did do all these things for me, right?

01:16:47.100 | Podcasting, but yeah, I never,

01:16:50.660 | and still today, I don't do it for any of those things.

01:16:53.660 | You know, I do it because it's fun.

01:16:57.600 | - Yeah, it is, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:00.380 | - Let me ask you, since you say why you love Kalilah,

01:17:03.340 | why do you love/hate George Kimmel, your producer?

01:17:10.180 | What's your favorite thing about him, let's say that.

01:17:12.580 | Positive thing, positive.

01:17:14.180 | - Oh God, I've been asked this question.

01:17:16.820 | 'Cause I, 'cause you know, it's like,

01:17:18.860 | you know, I don't wanna give him compliments,

01:17:20.260 | but you know, I'll try.

01:17:22.260 | - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I'll try.

01:17:23.860 | - Have you actually, I don't think you've publicly

01:17:27.840 | ever said anything positive about George.

01:17:29.580 | - I don't think I have either, so I'm gonna give it a go.

01:17:32.620 | I'm gonna give it a real go here.

01:17:33.660 | - Okay, yeah.

01:17:39.060 | - You know, at the end of the day,

01:17:40.660 | when it comes to money, when it comes to responsibility,

01:17:45.740 | obviously this is a business now for you and me.

01:17:49.540 | It is, you know, it's a side business, but it's a business.

01:17:52.900 | And you wanna be able to trust the people

01:17:56.300 | that are running it.

01:17:57.940 | And I have 100% trust in everything that he does

01:18:02.940 | in terms of financial things, in terms of technical things,

01:18:06.800 | in terms of all of it, you know what I mean?

01:18:08.740 | Merchandise, and I have 100% belief in him.

01:18:13.740 | And that's rare, you know, to find someone like that.

01:18:17.840 | Also, at the end of the day, I know his heart,

01:18:22.100 | and he really is a great guy.

01:18:25.620 | There's nothing about him, like for instance,

01:18:29.340 | you know, he was over the other day, and I go,

01:18:31.500 | you know, I bought this key wooden thing

01:18:33.820 | that some native man made,

01:18:36.180 | and I don't know how to put it on the wall.

01:18:38.380 | So I just, you know, I go, hey, can you figure this out?

01:18:41.860 | And he goes, yeah, I got it.

01:18:43.260 | You know what I mean?

01:18:44.100 | Like, he's just that guy, you know?

01:18:45.840 | He's also, but there is a part of me,

01:18:49.780 | and this is probably wrong,

01:18:51.140 | but there's a part of me that feels like I kind of made him.

01:18:56.400 | - Yeah, he would be nothing without you.

01:18:57.980 | - No, that's not what I'm saying.

01:18:59.380 | - Well, I didn't fucking say that.

01:19:00.220 | - That's the way I heard it.

01:19:01.980 | - That's what I meant.

01:19:03.140 | - Okay, but that's not what you said.

01:19:05.980 | - And it's probably wrong, right?

01:19:07.420 | 'Cause he did all the things that he has in his life,

01:19:10.340 | he did on his own, right?

01:19:12.060 | But still, for some reason--

01:19:13.500 | - He'd be nothing without you.

01:19:14.700 | - That's not what I'm saying, but that's what I mean.

01:19:16.740 | - Yeah, okay.

01:19:17.820 | - So basically, 'cause when I met him,

01:19:21.520 | I was a part of this YouTube studio called Maker Studios,

01:19:26.180 | and he was just a producer there, and that's how I met him.

01:19:29.860 | And when he left Maker, he came to us,

01:19:32.620 | and he wasn't a podcast producer,

01:19:35.340 | and now he has this big company.

01:19:36.820 | He produces a bunch of podcasts,

01:19:39.460 | and he has a bunch of employees,

01:19:41.860 | and he has a nice business,

01:19:43.860 | and I feel like I had a lot to do with it.

01:19:46.300 | - So both the competence and the good heart.

01:19:48.180 | - Yeah.

01:19:49.020 | - What about Gilbert?

01:19:50.580 | - Yeah, Gilbert is a godsend as well.

01:19:52.820 | I don't know if, because of, let me ask you this,

01:19:55.460 | because you're a science guy,

01:19:57.380 | this is an interesting question for me.

01:19:59.340 | Do you believe just that the universe

01:20:03.460 | gives you certain things at the right moment,

01:20:07.380 | at the right time, do you believe that there is

01:20:10.120 | a mechanism out there where it's just,

01:20:13.540 | we're just a part of this machine that's kinda like,

01:20:16.900 | almost as if things are just happening

01:20:19.060 | the way it's supposed to happen,

01:20:20.220 | or do you think that these are just random things

01:20:23.300 | that are occurring, and we're just, it's chaos in that way?

01:20:27.260 | - I don't know from a science perspective,

01:20:29.260 | 'cause I wouldn't be able to explain it,

01:20:30.540 | but I do believe, you mentioned karma.

01:20:32.780 | There's a karma thing.

01:20:34.740 | It just, if you put love out there in the world,

01:20:37.660 | like certain doors open in a certain kind of way,

01:20:41.240 | like they're almost waiting for you,

01:20:43.300 | and then you walk through them.

01:20:44.460 | So yes, in that way I believe that it just,

01:20:47.960 | it feels like not everything is like a basic

01:20:52.960 | like billiard ball model of like,

01:20:56.860 | you have to fight for everything.

01:20:58.380 | You could just generally be cool to people,

01:21:00.980 | and kind to people, and certain opportunities

01:21:03.140 | just pop up at the right moment.

01:21:05.740 | - More specifically though, so for instance,

01:21:09.340 | let's suppose, like Gilbert for instance,

01:21:11.220 | he just showed up at my house one day.

01:21:12.900 | I didn't know who he was.

01:21:14.180 | I had a fight night, and a friend brought him.

01:21:16.740 | This is right when Kalilah and I were starting Tigerbelly.

01:21:20.360 | And in conversation, he was like,

01:21:23.460 | we didn't know how to engineer.

01:21:26.100 | We didn't have an engineer for our podcast.

01:21:28.420 | And that night, he was like, I know how to do it, right?

01:21:33.420 | And if I hadn't met him that night, he just wouldn't,

01:21:35.940 | I don't know if it would be as good,

01:21:37.500 | it would be completely different.

01:21:39.020 | And I really believe that we met him that night for a reason.

01:21:44.020 | So you don't believe that.

01:21:46.580 | - It's complicated.

01:21:48.100 | I believe that for love and these kinds of things,

01:21:51.620 | but I don't believe that as much for building a team.

01:21:55.520 | But that's the engineering thing.

01:21:56.920 | I think that's the artist in you.

01:21:59.660 | I'm less of an artist.

01:22:01.140 | I think artists thrive in the chaos of it.

01:22:04.340 | So it's not only that you guys met at that time,

01:22:08.020 | is you didn't probably ask in detail

01:22:10.860 | about his qualifications,

01:22:12.420 | or didn't go through a rigorous thing.

01:22:14.780 | You just dove in and figured it out on the fly.

01:22:18.540 | I think that's sort of the artist ethic.

01:22:21.820 | I think if you're doing a startup or engineering,

01:22:24.220 | there's a little bit more rigor in the selection process.

01:22:27.060 | - I see what you're saying.

01:22:29.140 | - Because the same with Rogan, Jamie just walked up to him.

01:22:32.860 | Jamie Vernon.

01:22:35.220 | - Yeah, yeah, I know Jamie, yeah.

01:22:36.140 | - Yeah, he just walked up to him,

01:22:37.540 | same kind of situation.

01:22:38.620 | And then he made it,

01:22:40.460 | both of you have one of the best podcasts in the world.

01:22:42.980 | And so it's like, how did that, what?

01:22:46.340 | - Yeah, I believe that--

01:22:47.820 | - It's very strange.

01:22:48.660 | - Yeah, it's strange.

01:22:49.500 | - Or maybe it's just like cool people

01:22:50.900 | hang out with cool people.

01:22:51.940 | So you kind of collide a lot.

01:22:53.260 | - That's not true, because with Bad Friends, for instance,

01:22:57.420 | I've had 12 people before Andrew Santino

01:23:02.700 | that had asked me to do one with me.

01:23:04.660 | And they just wasn't, didn't want to do it.

01:23:10.220 | With Andrew, though, it happened kind of organically

01:23:15.100 | and in a way that was almost like,

01:23:18.540 | in my heart, meant to happen in a weird way.

01:23:22.140 | - That's a weird combination, by the way.

01:23:23.540 | So why was that the sticky one?

01:23:25.660 | 'Cause you have a lot of comedian friends, why Andrew?

01:23:29.300 | - Because number one, we both know just instinctually,

01:23:33.580 | without even talking about it,

01:23:34.860 | that in many ways we're polar opposites

01:23:37.220 | in terms of energy, right?

01:23:39.980 | He's more aggressive.

01:23:41.940 | I also know I respond good with alpha males,

01:23:44.980 | because I'm more of a follower, you know what I mean?

01:23:47.980 | Or sensitive in that way.

01:23:49.340 | But in many ways, I am an alpha male

01:23:51.380 | in certain areas of my life, you know?

01:23:53.860 | You know, when it comes to smashing, what's up?

01:23:56.020 | You know what I mean?

01:23:56.860 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:57.700 | - But you know, so we both knew instinctually

01:23:59.780 | that in that way our chemistry worked, right?

01:24:02.220 | And also in terms of style and all that stuff,

01:24:05.500 | it's completely just, it was just an organic given to us.

01:24:10.500 | - Yeah. - Yeah.

01:24:12.580 | - But you trust yourself with power?

01:24:15.300 | You play dictators.

01:24:19.100 | - What do you mean, do I?

01:24:20.220 | - Like, 'cause I feel like you would be,

01:24:21.780 | 'cause you said you're not an alpha male,

01:24:23.700 | but in many ways, when you smash, what's up?

01:24:27.180 | And you winked at me.

01:24:28.860 | Would you, what do you think about that?

01:24:33.180 | If I give you absolute power, would you be able to,

01:24:35.660 | what would you, how would you change?

01:24:37.540 | - What does absolute power mean?

01:24:38.780 | Like you said to me, listen,

01:24:40.700 | you are gonna be the dictator of planet Earth,

01:24:43.860 | and anything that you want is at your means?

01:24:46.580 | - Yeah, including violence, sex.

01:24:48.700 | No, I would not.

01:24:50.900 | Because even in my personal life now,

01:24:54.020 | there are things that I could do, right,

01:24:56.500 | that I have power, I guess, that I don't participate in.

01:25:00.660 | Right, so why would I do it if I had ultimate power?

01:25:03.900 | I mean, because there's always,

01:25:05.020 | there's still a moral and ethics that I have, right,

01:25:08.100 | that I don't feel comfortable with, right?

01:25:11.060 | So-- - You wouldn't even enjoy it.

01:25:13.540 | - No, I mean, I think that there would be no,

01:25:16.180 | if I had ultimate dictatorship on planet Earth,

01:25:18.660 | there would be no violence.

01:25:19.820 | I mean, I would not cause any wars, right?

01:25:22.620 | But if there's an uprising, I'd have to quell it.

01:25:26.260 | - That's how it starts, Bobby.

01:25:28.500 | You quell it with a bit of-- - Don't uprise.

01:25:31.420 | - Right, but, so first you're gonna censor everybody

01:25:34.900 | who wants to even suggest the idea of uprising,

01:25:38.540 | and then one person gets out of line,

01:25:40.820 | they run a red light, okay?

01:25:43.060 | That's, that's-- - But here--

01:25:45.620 | - You ever get angry in traffic?

01:25:47.700 | - Yeah.

01:25:48.540 | - I get rageful.

01:25:50.500 | - So if you could murder that person--

01:25:52.860 | - No. - No.

01:25:54.140 | - No, no, no.

01:25:55.580 | - Nobody has to know.

01:25:57.220 | - No, I would give them cancer.

01:25:59.380 | But I would not murder them. - That's so much worse.

01:26:03.060 | - I would not. (laughing)

01:26:04.860 | I know, I know. - Okay.

01:26:05.860 | - No, but no, but here, no, this is an interesting thing,

01:26:08.260 | 'cause I wanna elaborate.

01:26:09.740 | All right, so the thing,

01:26:11.860 | if I was the dictator of the planet Earth, right,

01:26:14.660 | there would be a reason why people would uprise, right?

01:26:18.260 | So give me a reason.

01:26:19.740 | Because I would give them food, shelter, right,

01:26:23.820 | and all the things I feel like that people would desire,

01:26:26.580 | right, but you're right, because you're right,

01:26:29.860 | I think this is what you're talking about.

01:26:31.700 | So here's the deal.

01:26:32.900 | So there are certain things that I do believe in, right?

01:26:36.820 | Like, for instance, it's a very controversial thing, right,

01:26:40.180 | in terms of a woman's right, right,

01:26:42.540 | in terms of abortion, right?

01:26:45.060 | I feel like, as a male, it's not my body,

01:26:48.860 | so I don't really even have an opinion,

01:26:50.500 | and I shouldn't even have a voice on it,

01:26:52.060 | because, you know what I mean,

01:26:53.820 | it's like if they created laws,

01:26:56.080 | if white people, men, created laws for Koreans in America,

01:27:00.780 | like, you don't have the right to, right?

01:27:03.220 | So it's like, so if I was a dictator, right,

01:27:07.260 | I would just be like, yeah, women have all the rights

01:27:09.460 | in the world, right, and they, you know,

01:27:11.060 | and I think abortion should be legal

01:27:14.280 | throughout the planet Earth, right?

01:27:15.520 | But there will be people out there

01:27:17.260 | that will believe that, no, you know what I mean?

01:27:20.740 | We, you know, we're pro-life.

01:27:23.500 | - So you would put them in jail, just so--

01:27:25.500 | - So that's right, so I think as a dictator,

01:27:27.900 | there was no way to be able to please everyone,

01:27:30.400 | so there will be an uprising.

01:27:32.500 | So yeah, fuck it, I don't wanna do it.

01:27:34.780 | Would you do it?

01:27:38.140 | Not, no, there's several loaded questions.

01:27:41.260 | Would I enjoy it?

01:27:42.700 | No.

01:27:43.980 | Would I do it?

01:27:45.820 | No, because I don't trust my own mind under power.

01:27:48.600 | Like, I'm well aware that in situations where I have control,

01:27:53.600 | it's as much a freedom as it is a burden.

01:27:57.720 | Like, it can change you.

01:27:59.240 | I'm very nervous about that.

01:28:01.300 | - Interesting.

01:28:02.180 | - Like how much,

01:28:05.860 | how much the ego starts to flare up,

01:28:08.220 | how much just like the less pleasant things

01:28:13.220 | about your nature come up.

01:28:15.140 | You know, I have a temper too.

01:28:16.500 | Like, I have all that kind of stuff.

01:28:18.260 | And you have, I'm sure you have a bit of a temper.

01:28:21.060 | - Yeah, yeah, I have a temper, yeah.

01:28:21.900 | - And so when nobody's able to as clearly call you out

01:28:26.500 | on your bullshit, that could be a problem.

01:28:29.660 | - Do you have this, when you rage out and you have a temper,

01:28:33.580 | is there like either a day later or a couple hours later,

01:28:37.040 | is there shame and regret that comes along with that or no?

01:28:40.420 | - Yeah, no, no, no, no, of course.

01:28:41.980 | - Yeah. - During it.

01:28:43.140 | - Yeah, during it too, yeah, shame and regret.

01:28:45.160 | Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:28:46.380 | - But I try to make sure it's like love and respect

01:28:50.660 | are felt always underneath the whole thing.

01:28:52.840 | But still, it's like human emotion.

01:28:56.300 | You can't control it.

01:28:58.020 | And if you give an absolute power,

01:28:59.220 | you start to lose your sense of the world.

01:29:00.980 | You start to be unable to see what is right and wrong.

01:29:03.900 | You think everything is right.

01:29:06.620 | You start to have a distorted view

01:29:10.140 | of who is doing the wrong things in the world.

01:29:12.380 | And then also distrust.

01:29:14.420 | Well, that has to do more with how absolute power

01:29:17.420 | is usually attained.

01:29:18.660 | Because when you're in the seat of power,

01:29:21.280 | everybody, first on the outside,

01:29:23.260 | but then in your inner circle, you start to distrust them.

01:29:26.060 | You start to believe that they're going to,

01:29:28.520 | they want your power.

01:29:29.900 | So the people you love,

01:29:31.300 | the people that were source of so much beauty

01:29:35.100 | for you previously, like even like your girlfriend, wife,

01:29:40.100 | your closest lifelong friends, you start to suspect them.

01:29:43.740 | - I don't want to live like that.

01:29:44.820 | - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

01:29:45.700 | - And you're often right to suspect them.

01:29:47.700 | (laughing)

01:29:48.700 | - Because you think they change a little bit too.

01:29:50.340 | - They change too.

01:29:51.340 | They start to get a little bit taste of that power.

01:29:53.580 | - Yeah.

01:29:54.420 | - The interesting thing is a bunch of people

01:29:56.260 | in Hitler's inner circle at the very end

01:29:58.580 | betrayed him too in search of their own power.

01:30:02.500 | - Wow.

01:30:03.340 | - It's fascinating.

01:30:04.180 | It's fascinating, this power thing.

01:30:06.260 | Let me ask you a bunch of ridiculous questions real quick.

01:30:08.860 | - Okay.

01:30:09.700 | - If you could be someone else for a day,

01:30:12.500 | someone alive today who you haven't yet met,

01:30:16.060 | who would you be?

01:30:16.940 | For one day, you get to be, it could be female, male.

01:30:19.460 | There have to be a lot.

01:30:20.300 | - I've always wanted to see what a pop star was like.

01:30:22.340 | - Which one would you go?

01:30:23.180 | - Like Harry Styles.

01:30:24.460 | - Okay. - Yeah, yeah.

01:30:25.700 | So if I'm Harry Styles, right?

01:30:28.480 | I just wanna see what it's like

01:30:31.280 | to go to the Beverly Center.

01:30:34.080 | - Okay.

01:30:34.920 | - As Harry Styles.

01:30:35.880 | - As Harry Styles.

01:30:36.720 | - Yeah, yeah, or Coachella.

01:30:37.720 | Just walk around Coachella as Harry Styles.

01:30:40.280 | You know what I mean?

01:30:41.120 | - But you get a lot of attention,

01:30:42.440 | and it's a very specific kind of attention.

01:30:44.440 | - Yeah, I just wanna see what that's like.

01:30:45.760 | I wanna be able to, 'cause the thing is is that

01:30:48.320 | I wanna be able to see what it's like

01:30:50.640 | in terms of how easy would it be to get a hot chick.

01:30:55.160 | - Oh, I thought.

01:30:56.000 | (laughing)

01:30:56.840 | You meant like get a table at a restaurant.

01:30:58.480 | - No, no, no.

01:30:59.320 | I can still do now as Bobby Lee, you know what I mean?

01:31:02.960 | But as Harry Styles, I wanna see what it'd be like

01:31:05.640 | and how that would go about,

01:31:07.320 | how easy it would be, you know what I mean?

01:31:08.760 | - Yeah. - Yeah.

01:31:10.020 | Could you just walk up to the hottest chick at Coachella

01:31:14.320 | and start making out with them?

01:31:16.040 | - Yeah, that's interesting.

01:31:17.160 | Just to see.

01:31:18.000 | - Just to see if you could. - To test the system.

01:31:19.280 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:20.200 | 'Cause I know as Bobby Lee, no, no, no, no.

01:31:22.960 | Could you?

01:31:23.800 | No, you couldn't do that.

01:31:24.620 | - No, no.

01:31:26.300 | (laughing)

01:31:27.320 | - It's an interesting reason.

01:31:28.160 | - Yeah, yeah.

01:31:29.000 | - So if you were the last person on Earth,

01:31:30.920 | like everybody disappeared, everybody's dead.

01:31:33.160 | What would your day look like?

01:31:36.760 | What would your days look like?

01:31:38.040 | What would you do?

01:31:38.920 | That's interesting because if I was able to figure out

01:31:43.600 | the electricity, I think my days would be like,

01:31:48.120 | "God, why didn't you learn about electricity?"

01:31:49.840 | - Oh, yeah.

01:31:50.680 | - Right?

01:31:51.520 | - You realize how little you know about it.

01:31:52.340 | - Yeah, yeah, why didn't you learn about these things?

01:31:53.680 | 'Cause now you're gonna die.

01:31:54.840 | - Yeah, right? - Yeah, yeah.

01:31:55.920 | - But I think the first thing obviously is,

01:31:58.680 | no, let me ask you something, why?

01:32:00.700 | Now, if you're saying that I'm the last person

01:32:03.960 | on planet Earth because there was an alien invasion

01:32:06.240 | and there's predators and things

01:32:07.440 | that I have to fucking look out for, that's one way.

01:32:09.840 | But if I'm just all of a sudden I wake up

01:32:11.740 | and just everyone's gone and there's no--

01:32:14.240 | - Everyone's dead.

01:32:15.080 | - Everyone's dead.

01:32:15.900 | - But there's no threat.

01:32:16.740 | - There's no threat, then what I would do is I go,

01:32:19.560 | well, let's find a place to live.

01:32:21.920 | Not probably my house, right?

01:32:23.960 | So I'd probably live in a place

01:32:25.480 | where it's closest to grocery stores, right?

01:32:29.800 | So I would get food and stuff first, right?

01:32:31.680 | And then secondly, it's like, I'd probably go,

01:32:34.240 | you know what I thought about?

01:32:35.640 | I would probably go to San Marcos, San Diego Vista,

01:32:39.920 | 'cause that's where the real doll factory is.

01:32:42.080 | - And just fuck all of them?

01:32:43.520 | - No, no, no, I would have to grab like six of them

01:32:45.320 | because I'm gonna get lonely.

01:32:47.260 | - Six of them for a variety,

01:32:49.120 | you wouldn't be monogamous with one doll?

01:32:50.880 | - No, and I also would carry out

01:32:52.680 | like the vagina parts, you know what I mean?

01:32:55.560 | And all the accessories and stuff, right?

01:32:58.520 | And then go back to LA probably.

01:33:00.280 | Oh man, why do I stay down there?

01:33:01.120 | - Yeah, you could stay in the factory.

01:33:02.720 | - No, yeah, maybe the stat factory.

01:33:04.160 | And then, but I think thirdly,

01:33:06.600 | I would run out of electricity, right?

01:33:09.000 | And I think, you know what I mean?

01:33:10.480 | My demise would come slowly.

01:33:12.120 | - Well, you could find sources of electricity

01:33:13.720 | 'cause nobody's using it.

01:33:14.960 | - But I don't know how to turn the machines on.

01:33:17.280 | Like, I don't know how to go to the fucking,

01:33:19.640 | - Yeah.

01:33:20.640 | - What do you call it?

01:33:21.720 | - The place where, I don't even know what it's called.

01:33:24.680 | The place where, you know what I mean,

01:33:25.760 | where it all, the energy's generated?

01:33:28.240 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, the generators.

01:33:29.240 | Like, where do I go?

01:33:30.520 | - Yeah, it's good questions.

01:33:32.720 | All right, would you rather lose all your old memories

01:33:36.760 | or never be able to make new ones?

01:33:39.760 | The past or the future?

01:33:41.640 | - No, I mean, I can't lose my memories, all of them.

01:33:47.840 | That makes me who I am.

01:33:50.320 | - But you wouldn't be able to make new ones.

01:33:52.720 | You wouldn't be, so you'd be living in the moment,

01:33:54.680 | nonstop with all the,

01:33:56.200 | but you did say you're in a really good place.

01:34:01.320 | So maybe this is a pretty good set of memories you got.

01:34:03.760 | You got all the trauma.

01:34:04.960 | - Yeah, I mean, you just, that's a nightmare.

01:34:09.200 | You just created a nightmare for me.

01:34:11.800 | That's a nightmare.

01:34:12.720 | - The choice.

01:34:13.560 | - The choice is a nightmare.

01:34:14.480 | Yeah, you're fucked either way.

01:34:16.560 | - It's already beautiful.

01:34:18.640 | - It's a kind of death, not being able to make new memories.

01:34:22.320 | That's it, that's all you got.

01:34:23.960 | You get to relive the memories you have.

01:34:26.440 | - As a science guy, let me ask you a question.

01:34:28.200 | - Sure.

01:34:29.040 | - Are you afraid to die?

01:34:31.560 | - Yeah, of course.

01:34:34.800 | Not of course, I am.

01:34:36.320 | I think about it every day.

01:34:38.000 | - Death.

01:34:38.920 | - Yeah, I meditate on my mortality all the time.

01:34:42.360 | - Right.

01:34:43.200 | - It doesn't make any sense, it's terrifying.

01:34:44.760 | - It's terrifying.

01:34:45.800 | - And because, are you terrified because of the unknown

01:34:50.280 | or because you believe it's nothingness?

01:34:53.080 | - The unknown, but my best guess

01:34:57.360 | is that it's something like nothingness.

01:35:00.280 | And that nothingness is--

01:35:02.200 | - So terrifying.

01:35:03.040 | - Yeah, the infinity of the nothingness.

01:35:05.080 | - Yeah.

01:35:06.240 | But Ram Dass says, and this is something that I always,

01:35:09.720 | you know Ram Dass?

01:35:10.560 | - Mm-hmm.

01:35:11.400 | - Yeah, Ram Dass says he believes that death

01:35:14.880 | is like removing a tight shoe.

01:35:17.720 | Like release.

01:35:20.860 | - Yeah.

01:35:22.560 | - Like, ah.

01:35:23.840 | That could be it too.

01:35:25.120 | I think maybe when we die, that's initially,

01:35:28.680 | maybe the last feeling that we have is release.

01:35:32.720 | And then if that happens and there's nothingness,

01:35:35.080 | I think that's cool.

01:35:36.080 | - Well no, that has to do more with

01:35:39.360 | the actual feeling of death,

01:35:41.080 | which I think some people are afraid of,

01:35:42.800 | the experience, to make sure it's one of release,

01:35:47.800 | like you said.

01:35:49.040 | - Yeah.

01:35:49.880 | - But the existential aspect that you no longer exist.

01:35:52.340 | Like all the shit you're doing

01:35:54.920 | kind of assumes you'll live forever.

01:35:57.320 | - Right.

01:35:58.360 | - Like you don't really,

01:36:00.120 | all your career and all that kind of stuff,

01:36:02.560 | you probably will be forgotten.

01:36:04.840 | - I know.

01:36:05.880 | - Like completely erased.

01:36:08.760 | - Yeah.

01:36:09.600 | - So all you have is a few moments in this life,

01:36:12.520 | a few moments of joy, a few moments of trauma,

01:36:15.560 | of suffering, and that's it.

01:36:18.760 | - I know, but here's the--

01:36:20.280 | - And you're wasting your time today talking to me,

01:36:23.440 | and then you have a few such moments.

01:36:26.240 | You'll do a couple hundred more podcasts,

01:36:29.040 | and then you'll be dead.

01:36:30.620 | - No, because this right here, dude, right,

01:36:33.880 | is human, number one,

01:36:37.600 | I walked through a little fear today,

01:36:39.280 | so I learned some things, right?

01:36:41.360 | I'm talking to a science guy,

01:36:42.800 | which I never thought I could.

01:36:44.240 | You're the first scientist I've ever talked to, right?

01:36:46.320 | - You get a diploma at the end of this.

01:36:47.640 | - Oh, good, and I believe that there was a connection, right?

01:36:51.800 | - Not in a gay way.

01:36:52.680 | - Not in a gay way, non-gay connection, right?

01:36:55.360 | In certain circumstances, I probably would blow you.

01:36:59.280 | - Would you?

01:37:00.120 | - In certain circumstances,

01:37:01.120 | like if we were the last two people on planet Earth

01:37:02.760 | and stuff like that.

01:37:03.600 | - Sure.

01:37:04.440 | - Yeah, yeah, but yeah, those are probably the only ones,

01:37:06.720 | or like somebody put a gun to my head,

01:37:07.960 | "You gotta blow, Lex!"

01:37:09.240 | - Okay, that's kind of a turn on.

01:37:11.000 | - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:11.840 | - I'm turned on right now, I'm being honest.

01:37:13.600 | - Yeah.

01:37:14.520 | - Let me ask you one question.

01:37:16.760 | - Go ahead.

01:37:17.600 | - What do you think is the meaning of life?

01:37:19.760 | - My fucking, that's the last one?

01:37:21.760 | - Yes, that's the last one.

01:37:22.600 | - Yeah, yeah.

01:37:23.440 | - What do you think, why are we here?

01:37:25.000 | Why are you here?

01:37:25.840 | Why are we here?

01:37:26.720 | Does any of it make sense to you?

01:37:27.800 | - I think ultimately,

01:37:30.040 | here's why I like life in general,

01:37:33.720 | is what we talked about, like we view death,

01:37:37.320 | there is a mystery there.

01:37:39.680 | There's a wonderment to it, right?

01:37:41.520 | So it's like, when I walk outside,

01:37:44.120 | and I look at the trees, and I look at buildings,

01:37:46.680 | that man made these buildings,

01:37:48.360 | and I look at the universe, and I look in the sky,

01:37:51.200 | and I don't really completely comprehend what's going on,

01:37:54.440 | it's just so, I'm in awe of all of it, right?

01:37:59.040 | And I don't have any answers, right?

01:38:01.920 | But that, I think, is what the meaning of life is,

01:38:04.760 | is to be in awe of it, and the wonder of it all,

01:38:09.400 | and it's just amazing.

01:38:12.200 | - Yeah, just open your eyes to the wonder of it all.

01:38:14.160 | - Yeah.

01:38:15.200 | - While we're still here.

01:38:16.280 | - Yeah.

01:38:17.120 | - Bobby, it's a huge honor to finally meet you.

01:38:19.400 | I've been a fan for many, many years.

01:38:22.080 | It's an honor that you would even consider blowing me

01:38:24.840 | in the correct kind of circumstances.

01:38:27.080 | - I think you would blow me in the right circumstances.

01:38:29.120 | - I think that's the definition of love.

01:38:31.440 | (laughing)

01:38:32.960 | Bobby, thanks so much for talking to me, brother.

01:38:34.440 | - Thank you so much.

01:38:36.160 | - Thanks for listening to this conversation with Bobby Lee.

01:38:38.640 | To support this podcast,

01:38:40.040 | please check out our sponsors in the description.

01:38:42.600 | And now, let me leave you with some words

01:38:44.560 | from Kurt Vonnegut.

01:38:46.320 | "Laughter and tears are both responses

01:38:48.760 | "to frustration and exhaustion.

01:38:51.320 | "I myself prefer to laugh,

01:38:53.320 | "since there's less cleaning to do afterward."

01:38:56.920 | Thank you for listening, and hope to see you next time.

01:38:59.920 | (upbeat music)

01:39:02.520 | (upbeat music)

01:39:05.120 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power | Lex Fridman Podcast #287

Chapters