I’m Stuck in Sexual Sin — Should I Excommunicate Myself?

00:00:00.000 | [Music]

00:00:04.000 | Today's episode is mature in its theme, so heads up to parents with young ears in the

00:00:09.000 | car or in the house around.

00:00:11.400 | It's mature in its themes, and I say that not simply because we're talking about sexual

00:00:15.040 | sin today.

00:00:16.040 | That's part of it.

00:00:17.040 | It's also mature because we're going to be talking about the revolting nature of sexual

00:00:20.680 | sin and what it says about us as sinners.

00:00:24.080 | So if you don't think that sexual sin degrades our human dignity, or if you don't think that

00:00:28.600 | sexual sins insult God, then you too are likely not mature enough for this episode either.

00:00:35.080 | That's also what I mean when I say that this episode is for a mature audience.

00:00:39.920 | Our question comes from a young man.

00:00:41.720 | He doesn't give us his name, but here's what he writes.

00:00:43.920 | "Dear Pastor John, I've come to a sad point in my life where I am willing to sin without

00:00:49.240 | repenting.

00:00:50.240 | I've fallen into the sin of having sex out of marriage, of my own selfish wants and desires.

00:00:55.400 | This has caused me to seek out sexual pleasure through pornography and other people in private.

00:01:00.680 | Though I realize the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual damage it does to me, and I've

00:01:05.040 | seen these effects very clearly in my life, I don't seem to have the will to stop.

00:01:10.240 | I've read on excommunication throughout Scripture in Matthew 18, 1 Timothy 1, 1 Corinthians

00:01:15.360 | 5, and I realize it's mainly a last resort for the church to discipline a believer.

00:01:20.560 | I have not been contributing to my local church nor the body of Christ as a whole.

00:01:24.640 | My question is, should I take the first steps in resigning and excommunicating myself from

00:01:30.560 | the church because of my own sin?

00:01:33.560 | Though this breaks my heart to think about, I would rather dwell in my sin alone than

00:01:37.580 | claim Christ in public, all the while still blaspheming his name in my heart."

00:01:43.680 | Let me try to come at this question from two different angles.

00:01:48.320 | The first is a simple and straightforward answer to the question, "Should I take the

00:01:55.120 | first steps in resigning and excommunicating myself from the church because of my sin?"

00:02:02.780 | The second angle I want to come at it from is a plea and a warning, an urgent warning

00:02:13.180 | that I want to give to this young man and to many like him who are sinning and describe

00:02:20.820 | themselves as not having the will to stop.

00:02:26.160 | And I want to make this wider appeal and give a wider warning because in recent weeks I

00:02:34.240 | have received several other communications besides this question where men are describing

00:02:41.640 | themselves as victims of the power of temptation over which they cannot triumph.

00:02:48.920 | In this particular case, he describes, hear his words, the mental, emotional, physical,

00:02:56.480 | and spiritual damage he's doing to himself, he says, and even goes so far as to say that

00:03:05.120 | he's blaspheming the Lord's name in his behavior, in his heart attitude, and it's

00:03:12.960 | all sin and he knows it.

00:03:15.960 | So those are the two angles from which I want to address this man.

00:03:19.840 | So first, a simple, I think straightforward answer to the question, "Should I excommunicate

00:03:27.760 | myself from the church?"

00:03:29.680 | And the answer is no, you shouldn't.

00:03:32.280 | That's not what you should do.

00:03:34.520 | You should, number one, make no provision for the flesh, Romans 13, 14.

00:03:41.380 | You know how the enemy approaches you.

00:03:44.360 | Cut off his path before he gets there.

00:03:47.920 | Block him before he arrives.

00:03:50.840 | Don't walk along the precipice where you know he pushes you over.

00:03:57.100 | Get out of the river before the current surges toward that deadly rapids that he's drugged

00:04:04.500 | you through so often.

00:04:07.280 | Second, go to your pastors and tell them everything that you are doing, all the sin.

00:04:15.580 | Just tell them, "Confess your sins," the Bible says, "to one another."

00:04:20.040 | Ask them to help you and pray for you and fight with you.

00:04:25.880 | And if you remain in sin, it's their responsibility to lead the church to excommunicate you, not

00:04:33.760 | yourself.

00:04:34.760 | It's not your job.

00:04:36.760 | The goal is not to get excommunicated.

00:04:40.160 | The goal is victory over destructive sin.

00:04:45.720 | You do your part.

00:04:46.720 | Let them do their part.

00:04:49.800 | That's my first angle.

00:04:53.000 | Straightforward answer, no, self-excommunication is not what you should do.

00:04:59.200 | But mainly I want to say to this brother and so many like him, it is not noble to be a

00:05:10.800 | slave or a dog returning to his vomit or a washed pig rolling around in the mud.

00:05:21.560 | That's not noble or admirable or cool.

00:05:28.040 | Let that sink in.

00:05:29.240 | Just say that to yourself.

00:05:32.000 | In 2 Peter 2.19, it says, "Those who promise freedom through sin are themselves slaves

00:05:40.160 | of corruption, for whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved."

00:05:47.800 | Slaves, slaves.

00:05:51.840 | Let it sink in, brother.

00:05:54.120 | Slaves.

00:05:55.120 | Is that the identity that you want that has power over you?

00:06:00.480 | I'm a slave.

00:06:01.480 | Hey, everybody, listen up.

00:06:03.360 | I'm a slave.

00:06:05.880 | And three verses later, Peter gets even more graphic and says, "The dog returns to his

00:06:13.680 | own vomit and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire."

00:06:21.680 | Hey, everybody, this is my identity.

00:06:24.080 | I'm a dog eating my vomit.

00:06:27.400 | Come watch me eat my vomit.

00:06:30.120 | I'm a pig.

00:06:31.120 | That's what I'm asking you.

00:06:33.160 | I'm really asking you, is that worth it?

00:06:37.680 | You get 30 minutes of pre-orgasmic euphoria and 30 seconds of orgasmic pleasure and then

00:06:47.960 | days of feeling as noble as a dog in heat while the pressure builds to roll back into

00:06:55.720 | the mud like a pig with no soul.

00:06:59.240 | Let it sink in.

00:07:00.240 | Say it.

00:07:01.240 | Preach it to yourself.

00:07:02.640 | Is that the kind of human being you are willing to be?

00:07:08.320 | The reason the Bible describes your condition over and over as deception is so that you

00:07:16.720 | will feel like a fool, a fool.

00:07:21.920 | And you refuse, absolutely refuse to be a dupe any longer, won't you?

00:07:27.760 | I mean, nobody wants to be a fool, a dupe, a lackey.

00:07:32.760 | To be content with being made a fool by Satan?

00:07:36.160 | Really?

00:07:37.160 | Come on.

00:07:38.640 | Consider 2 Thessalonians 2.9.

00:07:41.760 | The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all deception.

00:07:49.600 | There's the keyword.

00:07:52.720 | Deception of wickedness for those who are perishing because they did not welcome a love

00:07:58.520 | for the truth so as to be saved.

00:08:01.680 | Deception of wickedness.

00:08:02.760 | Let it sink in.

00:08:03.760 | Wickedness deceives.

00:08:08.400 | It makes promises and snickers while you buy it.

00:08:15.680 | Lock stock and barrel.

00:08:17.880 | Deceived.

00:08:18.880 | That's how Satan does it.

00:08:20.440 | He tricks you.

00:08:21.440 | He dupes you.

00:08:22.680 | He makes a fool out of you.

00:08:25.360 | The Bible talks like this.

00:08:27.440 | This is Bible talk, not Piper talk.

00:08:30.120 | This is Bible talk.

00:08:32.200 | So wake up and say, "I'm not going to be a fool.

00:08:37.720 | I'm not going to be a slave.

00:08:39.480 | I'm not going to be a dog or a pig.

00:08:41.520 | I'm a man.

00:08:43.000 | So to hell with you, Satan.

00:08:44.920 | Get out of my life.

00:08:46.120 | I don't belong to you."

00:08:48.800 | I mean, seriously, let me be the voice of God to you for a moment.

00:08:54.080 | The voice of God to Job.

00:08:55.680 | Get up.

00:08:56.680 | Right?

00:08:57.680 | Is that what Job says?

00:08:58.680 | I mean, God says to Job, "Get up.

00:08:59.800 | Get up off your four paws.

00:09:02.160 | Put on your two feet."

00:09:03.440 | I gave you two feet, not four cloven pig hoofs to roll around in the mire.

00:09:09.280 | Stop sniffing around between the legs of another dog or mud and stand up on your two feet,

00:09:15.320 | not four.

00:09:16.320 | I'll talk to you like a man.

00:09:17.880 | Are you a man?

00:09:19.120 | Then stop acting like a dog.

00:09:20.960 | I will deal with you like a man.

00:09:24.920 | For example, Ephesians 2, "Stop walking according to the age of this world, according to the

00:09:32.800 | prince of the power of the air, in the passions of your flesh, caring about the desires of

00:09:38.280 | the body and the mind."

00:09:41.280 | So stop acting like a spiritual dead man, a zombie slave with a hook in your nose, led

00:09:48.740 | around by the spirit of the age and Satan and your own animal passions.

00:09:54.400 | I'm pleading with you.

00:09:55.760 | I'm really pleading with you.

00:09:58.240 | Let these words sink in.

00:10:02.320 | I don't think you want to be a slave.

00:10:04.280 | Really, answer me.

00:10:05.640 | I wish you could talk to me.

00:10:06.840 | Do you want to be a slave?

00:10:07.840 | Do you want to be a dog, a pig?

00:10:10.200 | Seriously, you are being deceived, made a fool of, and you're willing to throw in the

00:10:18.280 | towel?

00:10:19.280 | No, don't throw in the towel.

00:10:24.120 | Are you really willing to let Satan make a fool of you, a lackey, a flunky, a powerless,

00:10:31.720 | helpless slave to your genitals?

00:10:33.840 | Really, come on, let this sink in.

00:10:37.100 | You do not want to let that be your identity.

00:10:44.080 | If you want to concede defeat before Satan and the spirit of the age and the animal drives

00:10:51.220 | of your body, you are being duped.

00:10:55.560 | You are being made a fool of, and I'm crying out to you in this APJ.

00:11:00.840 | I'm crying out to you.

00:11:02.560 | Wake up.

00:11:03.560 | You're not a dog.

00:11:04.560 | You're a man.

00:11:05.560 | You're not made in the image of a pig.

00:11:09.440 | You're made in the image of God.

00:11:11.560 | Stand up and strike your sin.

00:11:15.280 | Listen, Christian man, not just you, but all of you, listen.

00:11:22.940 | You were bought with a price.

00:11:25.280 | The agonizing blood of Jesus was the price.

00:11:28.560 | You're not your own.

00:11:30.620 | Your body is not yours.

00:11:32.040 | It's Christ's.

00:11:33.040 | It exists for his glory, not mud.

00:11:36.520 | It exists to make Christ look magnificent, not for humping around on the back of stray

00:11:42.880 | dogs.

00:11:44.320 | You do not want to concede defeat and just roll over into the mud and say, "I'm a pig.

00:11:51.400 | I'm a dog.

00:11:52.400 | I guess that's just the way I'll be.

00:11:54.080 | I'm a fool."

00:11:55.080 | No, no.

00:11:58.080 | Here's the word of God for you.

00:12:00.080 | Confront yourselves to God.

00:12:01.600 | Resist the devil.

00:12:02.600 | He will flee from you.

00:12:04.240 | Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.

00:12:07.400 | Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

00:12:11.840 | Be wretched and mourn and weep.

00:12:13.880 | Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

00:12:17.760 | Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.

00:12:21.200 | James 4, 7-10.

00:12:22.840 | Did you hear that last phrase?

00:12:25.120 | That's amazing.

00:12:26.400 | He will exalt you.

00:12:29.960 | Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.

00:12:32.400 | Yes, he will.

00:12:33.400 | Think of it.

00:12:34.400 | What does that mean?

00:12:37.000 | God wants you exalted.

00:12:39.200 | That's what it means.

00:12:41.160 | It says he will exalt you.

00:12:42.620 | He wants to exalt you.

00:12:44.480 | Do you hear that?

00:12:45.480 | Not slave-like, dog-like, pig-like, deceived fools jumping from one orgasm to the next.

00:12:53.000 | Don't roll over in defeat.

00:12:56.520 | Tell Satan where to go.

00:12:58.800 | Pick up the sword of the Spirit.

00:13:00.560 | Run him through.

00:13:01.560 | You're a man.

00:13:02.560 | Christ has said he will be with you to the end.

00:13:05.880 | He will help you.

00:13:07.800 | If God is for you, who can be against you?

00:13:11.360 | So wake up, Christian friend.

00:13:13.360 | You are not destined for the fleeting pleasures of destructive sin.

00:13:18.300 | You are destined in Christ for fullness of joy and pleasure at God's right hand forevermore.

00:13:27.320 | Sobering.

00:13:30.920 | Hard words, cutting words like a surgery.

00:13:34.280 | Cuts meant to heal with an awesome, a truly awesome offer at the end.

00:13:40.440 | Thank you for this, Pastor John, and thank you for joining us today.

00:13:44.000 | You can ask a question of your own, even anonymously, at our online home, askpastorjohn.com.

00:13:50.160 | We're going to break for the weekend and we'll be back on Monday.

00:13:52.360 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.

00:13:54.480 | We'll see you then.

00:13:54.920 | [END]

00:13:56.920 | 1.

00:13:57.920 | What is the purpose of the Holy Spirit?

00:13:58.920 | 2.

00:13:59.920 | What is the purpose of Jesus Christ?

00:14:00.920 | 3.

00:14:01.920 | What is the purpose of the Holy Spirit?

00:14:02.920 | 4.

I’m Stuck in Sexual Sin — Should I Excommunicate Myself?

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