When Should Non-Quitters Quit?
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - Brendan writes in to ask this.
00:00:07.120 | Hello Pastor John, I'm currently an 11th grade junior
00:00:10.280 | in high school and on the varsity football team.
00:00:12.720 | I've been in a dilemma lately
00:00:14.400 | that I could use some guidance on.
00:00:16.140 | I've always been disciplined by my parents
00:00:17.840 | about not quitting anything when you make a commitment,
00:00:20.880 | whether it be sports, a job, et cetera.
00:00:23.520 | I never have quit anything before,
00:00:26.240 | but football has consumed so much of my time
00:00:28.240 | that I haven't had time to spend with God or work on school
00:00:31.200 | and my grades in relationship with God
00:00:32.920 | are in danger of slipping.
00:00:34.800 | I'm not a quitter, but I also have priorities
00:00:36.920 | and plans on being a pastor when I grow up,
00:00:38.780 | so the Lord and academics are immensely important now.
00:00:43.240 | So when is it time to quit football?
00:00:45.440 | Let's think for a minute about the morality
00:00:50.060 | of quitting something that you've begun.
00:00:53.340 | I think it's very important,
00:00:57.480 | especially in this situation,
00:00:59.080 | to realize that sometimes quitting
00:01:02.300 | may signify a weakness of character
00:01:05.000 | or a weakness of faith in God's provision.
00:01:08.460 | And other times, quitting may in fact
00:01:13.480 | signify a strength of character
00:01:16.680 | and a strength of faith in God.
00:01:19.200 | And of course, Brendan's parents and Brendan himself
00:01:22.760 | are rightly concerned that he never quit anything
00:01:27.760 | because of weakness of character
00:01:30.920 | or lack of faith in God's positions,
00:01:34.600 | especially if there has been some kind of promise
00:01:39.320 | or commitment, since of course,
00:01:43.560 | promise-breaking is clearly a sin.
00:01:46.480 | It's a character flaw.
00:01:47.760 | It dishonors the God of truth.
00:01:49.740 | But let's think for a minute about these two kinds of quitting
00:01:52.600 | because this may help Brendan sort it out.
00:01:56.280 | Sometimes quitting signifies a weakness of character
00:02:00.000 | and a weakness of faith.
00:02:01.060 | An activity may be difficult and demanding
00:02:04.520 | and we may be lazy and so unwilling
00:02:08.000 | to remain in the activity, and so we quit.
00:02:10.280 | Well, that's a dishonorable way to behave.
00:02:12.880 | Laziness is never a good reason to quit anything.
00:02:16.640 | Or the activity may be painful,
00:02:20.640 | highly demanding exercises that make us very uncomfortable
00:02:24.180 | for two hours in the afternoon.
00:02:26.440 | And we may be unwilling to deny ourselves
00:02:30.280 | the pleasures we could be having in the afternoon,
00:02:32.900 | and so we quit.
00:02:34.360 | And that lack of discipline and self-denial
00:02:39.820 | is not a virtue, it's a weakness.
00:02:43.160 | Or the activity may be boring,
00:02:47.280 | though it's fruitful,
00:02:49.160 | but we may be so addicted to lots of stimulation,
00:02:52.600 | we're simply unwilling to be bored
00:02:54.760 | in any period of our lives, and so we quit.
00:02:57.840 | And that's a sin and a weakness
00:03:00.960 | that Brendan's parents would surely
00:03:03.480 | want to warn him against.
00:03:05.840 | Or the activity may be, I'm not very good at it,
00:03:10.280 | and so I'm not getting a lot of praise.
00:03:14.600 | I'm sort of performing in an average acceptable way,
00:03:18.240 | but not much applause is coming to me,
00:03:20.640 | and frankly, I very much like to get applause,
00:03:23.240 | and so I'm gonna quit this activity,
00:03:24.480 | no matter how useful it is for me or others,
00:03:27.200 | because I wanna go somewhere where I can get more praise
00:03:30.120 | and more applause.
00:03:32.200 | So it's really plain that Brendan is right,
00:03:35.800 | his folks are right, quitting is often a sign
00:03:39.360 | of weakness and flaws,
00:03:41.400 | and we should do everything we can not to quit
00:03:44.640 | under such circumstances.
00:03:47.000 | However, this really needs to be said,
00:03:50.640 | there are situations where quitting
00:03:53.220 | may be the very best thing you can do,
00:03:55.200 | and may require enormous courage,
00:03:58.360 | and a high degree of character and faith in God.
00:04:02.040 | For example, the activity may provide us
00:04:07.560 | with lots of notoriety, or fame, or popularity,
00:04:12.560 | but with no fruitfulness in benefiting the lives
00:04:15.920 | of anybody else, quitting this activity
00:04:19.960 | would require a great deal of self-denial,
00:04:23.720 | and humility, and trust that God has a better way for us,
00:04:28.720 | because we're gonna lose all this popularity
00:04:31.840 | if we just drop out and start studying,
00:04:34.680 | or something hidden and unimpressive.
00:04:38.640 | Or the activity may involve huge amounts of pleasure,
00:04:42.840 | very little improvement to our spiritual power,
00:04:45.200 | or development of our gifts,
00:04:47.720 | and so quitting this activity would involve
00:04:50.640 | valuing spiritual power, and fruitful exercise of our gifts
00:04:55.640 | above short-term physical pleasures,
00:04:57.840 | that would be a good, that would be a beautiful thing
00:05:00.400 | to quit something under those circumstances.
00:05:04.360 | Or the activity may be proving lots of money is coming in,
00:05:09.360 | so you have a job that's just paying like crazy,
00:05:12.720 | but you find it involves you in some compromised behaviors,
00:05:16.360 | shady dealings, harsh personnel strategies.
00:05:20.720 | Well, to walk away from that kind of money
00:05:25.080 | would be a biblical virtue,
00:05:28.820 | as would put people above money.
00:05:32.800 | So it's never enough simply to say,
00:05:37.800 | "Don't be a quitter."
00:05:39.920 | It's never enough to say, "Quitters are losers."
00:05:42.680 | No, no, no.
00:05:43.680 | Sometimes losers don't have the courage to quit.
00:05:48.240 | So Brendan raises the issue,
00:05:51.240 | well, what if I made a commitment?
00:05:53.400 | And so here are the two questions I think he should ask.
00:05:56.560 | Did you, in fact, Brendan, make a promise,
00:06:00.860 | or make a commitment to play the entire season?
00:06:03.800 | Second question, was it perhaps, instead of a promise,
00:06:08.040 | the kind of intention that both you and the coach knew
00:06:13.040 | contained implicit conditions and qualifications?
00:06:17.280 | And I would say, to the degree that the commitment to play
00:06:21.040 | rises to the level of an unqualified promise,
00:06:23.840 | to that degree, you finish the season.
00:06:26.140 | You don't break your promise.
00:06:27.840 | You find other ways to fight the fight of faith,
00:06:31.000 | to get near to the Lord, to do your schoolwork,
00:06:33.680 | but you don't break the promise.
00:06:35.260 | However, my guess is that even if there was an implicit
00:06:40.260 | or explicit promise to play the season,
00:06:44.300 | a conversation with the coach gives him the right,
00:06:49.300 | that is, he has the right and gives him the opportunity
00:06:53.720 | to release you from a commitment that you made.
00:06:57.980 | And that's the conversation I would probably pursue.
00:07:02.300 | So if your studies are suffering,
00:07:05.220 | and your walk with the Lord is drying up
00:07:07.340 | because it's not being fed and watered,
00:07:10.260 | I would say that both of these outweigh
00:07:12.660 | the importance of football,
00:07:13.940 | and are worth a serious conversation with your coach.
00:07:18.280 | - That's an outstanding little theology of quitting.
00:07:21.540 | Thank you, Pastor John.
00:07:23.220 | Well, what is the point of thinking deeply about God?
00:07:26.260 | We think deeply about God a lot on this podcast,
00:07:28.700 | but what's the point?
00:07:29.980 | We have a listener who is trying to convince her friends
00:07:32.300 | that they should try to use more thinking
00:07:34.300 | in their Bible study to go deeper in what they can discover.
00:07:37.500 | So how do you convince a non-thinker
00:07:39.420 | to think more deeply in their Bible study?
00:07:42.500 | John Byber and I will close out the week
00:07:43.920 | with this question on the table tomorrow.
00:07:46.580 | Of course, you can keep up with all of our episodes
00:07:48.900 | with our free app for your phone,
00:07:50.180 | and of course, you can get those apps
00:07:51.340 | and send us your questions at our online podcast home
00:07:54.460 | at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.
00:07:59.420 | I'm your host Tony Reinke.
00:08:00.700 | We'll see you tomorrow.
00:08:01.860 | (upbeat music)
00:08:04.440 | (upbeat music)
00:08:07.020 | [BLANK_AUDIO]