When Past Sexual Sin Haunts Your Wedding

00:00:00.000 | 1) Frisco, a listener writes in to ask this, "Hi Pastor John, I want to propose to my girlfriend

00:00:10.120 | and as I prepare for marriage, thoughts of my past mistakes come to mind. I think back

00:00:14.240 | to women I slept with before I was saved and mistakes I made with my current girlfriend

00:00:18.400 | who, Lord willing, I will marry. People often speak of the purity to be saved for marriage

00:00:23.520 | and how terrible it is to squander that. What truths do you have to share with a man or

00:00:28.080 | woman such as myself struggling with regret related to past sexual mistakes and their

00:00:32.760 | current consequences in the context of marriage and engagement?"

00:00:37.280 | I am real eager to address this. This is a real and huge issue, and it always has been

00:00:46.480 | because millions of people have been converted and will be converted to Christ out of a life

00:00:56.360 | of sin, not before a life of sin. That's normal. Evangelization of the world means we're rescuing

00:01:07.360 | people after they have done horrible things, not before. So he's not in an unusual or unique

00:01:16.720 | position. What shall we think about these previous sins or, probably in his case, serious

00:01:24.160 | sins committed after faith? So I think the main thing I want to say to Frisco is this.

00:01:33.760 | Virginity is a precious gift that you cannot give to your fiancé, nor she you. That is

00:01:48.680 | a great sadness and a great loss, but there are gifts you can give her, and God will multiply

00:02:02.920 | those gifts so wonderfully that the loss will not be destructive. That's what I want to

00:02:11.440 | say. And here's what I mean. You said, Frisco, that you've heard people say, "Save yourself

00:02:21.080 | sexually for marriage, and it's a terrible thing to squander that." Well, I say, "Yes.

00:02:28.880 | Yes, yes, that's exactly right. That's exactly what I think Paul and Jesus would counsel

00:02:35.560 | any virgin." 1 Corinthians 6:18, "Flee fornication." Your body belongs to God as a single person,

00:02:46.360 | and it will belong to your future spouse. It would be good to think about this. 1 Corinthians

00:02:52.880 | 7, "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights." That means sex. "And likewise

00:02:58.560 | the wife her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the

00:03:03.600 | husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the

00:03:08.400 | wife does." In other words, you belong to each other, to no one else. You belong to

00:03:14.720 | God in your singleness, united to him in your body by the Spirit, and in marriage you belong

00:03:20.720 | to God through union with your spouse as well. That is a precious biblical gift that should

00:03:29.080 | be presented in marriage, and that's a gift you don't have to give. And you will want

00:03:38.400 | to teach your children to have it. So what's the gift you do have to give to this fiancé

00:03:46.040 | with whom you've had sexual relations? What gift can you give her that God might be pleased

00:03:52.960 | to make so wonderful, the gift you can't give her will not destroy? And here it is. The

00:04:03.240 | gift you can give is this. You can look her fiancé in the eye and say, "I failed you.

00:04:12.560 | I failed God, and I am deeply, deeply sorry. I hate what I did. I hate the hurt it caused

00:04:25.640 | you and me. I hate the dishonor that I brought upon the Lord. I hate the disrespect I showed

00:04:34.840 | you in not caring for you better. And I repent. I turn away from that sin and sinful forces

00:04:46.080 | that drove it. I renounce them, and I turn to Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Redeemer,

00:04:55.200 | and I receive from him his full and blood-bought forgiveness, and I cherish it with all my

00:05:02.400 | heart. I tremble at the thought of despising his blood now. And by the Spirit that he has

00:05:10.480 | given me, I resolve in his strength never, never, never, never to betray him or to give

00:05:17.600 | my body to any woman but to my wife. I offer you my forgiven, redeemed, cleansed soul and

00:05:26.320 | body in marriage to cherish you and honor you and be faithful to you. I invite you into

00:05:36.000 | this new, forgiven, redeemed, cleansed union with me. I know there will always be scars

00:05:45.480 | and the memories, but God is merciful, and in his time and his wisdom and his way, he

00:05:54.840 | will make these scars of sin the emblem of his mercy and the signs of his cross. That's

00:06:04.960 | the gift, Risco, that you can give as a wonderful gift to your fiancée. And I pray that God

00:06:15.400 | will seal that gift for both of you.

00:06:18.480 | Wonderful. Thank you for that, Pastor John. And in the past on the Ask Pastor John podcast,

00:06:24.240 | we've addressed the question of how far is too far before marriage. And we have two episodes,

00:06:28.920 | two of our most popular episodes ever, and they're titled, "How Far is Too Far Before

00:06:32.800 | Marriage?" That's episode 73. And "How Far is Too Far Before Marriage Spiritually and

00:06:37.600 | Emotionally?" That's episode number 84. So episodes number 73 and 84, be sure to check

00:06:42.840 | those out. Tomorrow, we address the topic of same-sex attraction and battling homosexual

00:06:48.160 | lust. Until then, I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John

00:06:51.680 | podcast.

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When Past Sexual Sin Haunts Your Wedding

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