Why Do I Keep Failing To Complete My Digital Declutter

00:00:00.000 | All right, we've got time for a couple more quick questions.

00:00:02.620 | We have one here from Cindy.

00:00:05.340 | Cindy says, "I'm starting my fourth try

00:00:10.080 | "to do a digital detox.

00:00:12.080 | "I just can't seem to make it to 30 days.

00:00:15.420 | "What is your advice?"

00:00:18.200 | Well, first of all, Cindy,

00:00:19.040 | I think we might diagnose part of the problem

00:00:21.420 | in just the words you were using.

00:00:23.940 | You called what you're trying to do a detox.

00:00:26.620 | I don't use the phrase digital detox.

00:00:29.460 | If you read the book "Digital Minimalism"

00:00:31.300 | where I'm assuming you're extracting this plan

00:00:34.300 | to spend 30 days away from optional technologies,

00:00:37.020 | I call it a digital declutter.

00:00:40.620 | There's a reason why I make that distinction.

00:00:42.260 | It's because in the context of digital tools,

00:00:44.580 | detox has taken on this very specific

00:00:46.820 | and I think very weird meaning, right?

00:00:49.060 | It means I want to white-knuckle separate myself

00:00:52.500 | away from these services that I spend too much time on

00:00:54.780 | because I don't like that I spend so much time on them

00:00:56.860 | and I want to detoxify my addictive urge to use them.

00:01:01.020 | The reason why I say that's a weird application of the term

00:01:04.140 | is that, of course, in the substance abuse community

00:01:08.700 | where the notion of detox

00:01:10.140 | or the relevant notion of detox comes from,

00:01:12.140 | the whole idea is not taking a break

00:01:14.380 | but to completely change your life.

00:01:16.820 | That it's the first step as part of transforming your life

00:01:19.020 | so that you don't use that substance anymore.

00:01:21.100 | In the digital world, we just say, "It's a break.

00:01:23.780 | "I don't like this thing, so let me just be away from it

00:01:25.680 | "and that will somehow make my life better."

00:01:27.820 | Declutter, on the other hand, says, "No,

00:01:31.180 | "we're not just staying away from that closet

00:01:32.880 | "that has too much stuff in it.

00:01:34.660 | "We're gonna take everything out

00:01:35.900 | "and just put back the stuff that matters.

00:01:37.340 | "We're gonna make the closet permanently better."

00:01:39.660 | And that is what I think you need to do

00:01:41.140 | for your digital life.

00:01:42.540 | So the key thing that separates a declutter from a detox

00:01:45.180 | is that you don't just white-knuckle it.

00:01:47.180 | You don't just sit there and say,

00:01:50.500 | "Don't use Instagram, don't use Instagram,

00:01:51.980 | "don't use Instagram," and hope you make it 30 days.

00:01:54.340 | You instead have to be incredibly active,

00:01:56.840 | aggressively reflecting and experimenting

00:01:59.060 | to rediscover the things that you really care about

00:02:01.300 | in your life.

00:02:02.140 | These 30 days should be busy.

00:02:03.620 | You should have lots of plans, lots of things you're doing.

00:02:06.400 | You're going over here, you're going with friends here,

00:02:08.500 | you're going to this museum, you're reading these books,

00:02:10.060 | you've joined this club, you're doing a new online class.

00:02:12.700 | 'Cause what you're trying to do is get back in touch

00:02:14.700 | in the absence of all these distractions

00:02:16.220 | with what you really care about.

00:02:17.540 | And then when you're done with the 30-day declutter,

00:02:20.880 | you rebuild your digital life from scratch.

00:02:23.180 | You don't go back to what you were doing before.

00:02:25.660 | You don't never use technology again.

00:02:28.120 | Instead, you say, "Okay, now that I've rebuilt my life

00:02:30.920 | "around activities that are important to me,

00:02:33.820 | "initiatives that are important to me,

00:02:36.020 | "what tools will help me with this?"

00:02:37.900 | And you very intentionally bring technology

00:02:39.980 | back into your life, but you deploy it very strategically

00:02:43.640 | to support the things you care about.

00:02:45.260 | And everything that doesn't support something

00:02:46.900 | you care about, you just ignore.

00:02:48.220 | And the stuff you do bring back in,

00:02:49.540 | you put nice gates around, nice fences around,

00:02:51.820 | you have rules about when you use it,

00:02:53.780 | how you use it, et cetera.

00:02:55.900 | That's the digital declutter.

00:02:57.300 | So the reason why I would diagnose you

00:03:00.020 | are probably having trouble with these detoxes

00:03:03.940 | is that you're just trying to white knuckle it.

00:03:06.060 | And that's not very successful.

00:03:07.940 | And I've seen that in the large number of people

00:03:10.900 | who have gone through these experiments on my behalf

00:03:12.820 | and told me about how it went,

00:03:13.980 | is that the people that just try to stay away

00:03:16.220 | from the technologies they don't like, struggle.

00:03:21.140 | Those that instead say,

00:03:22.340 | while I'm staying away from those technologies,

00:03:24.100 | I'm rebuilding my life and rediscovering what I care about,

00:03:26.620 | don't struggle.

00:03:28.220 | Change that is built around a aspirational,

00:03:30.460 | positive vision of your life

00:03:31.700 | is always way more sustainable than change built around

00:03:34.220 | just avoiding things that you're assessing to be negative.

00:03:37.140 | So Cindy, that's my advice.

00:03:38.960 | Go back and read that chapter in "Digital Minimalism"

00:03:41.500 | and focus on the active part.

00:03:43.940 | The stuff you have to do instead,

00:03:46.420 | the replacements, the discovery, the reflection.

00:03:48.820 | And I think that's where you're gonna find a key

00:03:50.180 | to succeeding with your declutter.

00:03:53.140 | (upbeat music)

00:03:56.640 | [MUSIC PLAYING]

Why Do I Keep Failing To Complete My Digital Declutter | Deep Questions With Cal Newport

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