Are Our Standards for Sexual Purity Too High for Pastors?
00:00:00.000 | (music)
00:00:04.000 | Is faultless chastity, faultless chastity
00:00:08.000 | too high a standard for pastors? That's today's question.
00:00:12.000 | And it's a question that reminds me of a personal experience. A few years ago
00:00:16.000 | my family and I had slipped into the back of a church to see a preacher that I liked.
00:00:20.000 | The church was packed out, the elders were on the platform,
00:00:24.000 | tissues were being passed, the preacher was not there.
00:00:28.000 | Moments after we had arrived it was announced that he
00:00:32.000 | had been booted from his pastoral role the night before after the
00:00:36.000 | discovery of his romantic attachment to a woman that was not his wife.
00:00:40.000 | And when this punishment was formally announced to the church
00:00:44.000 | the man sitting directly in front of me, who I had never seen before, we had never met,
00:00:48.000 | I didn't know him, he didn't know me, he turned straight around in his chair,
00:00:52.000 | looked me dead in the eye and said in a loud voice, "That's over the top,
00:00:56.000 | don't you think?" I was startled. I'll never forget that.
00:01:00.000 | But moments like these in really any formal church discipline is startling.
00:01:04.000 | You don't forget them. And they land on some people with a
00:01:08.000 | shock of strictness. This is the experience
00:01:12.000 | leading to today's question from a female listener in Houston.
00:01:16.000 | "Pastor John, one of the pastors in my church was recently dismissed from his position after confessing to
00:01:20.000 | having had sex with a lady he was dating. On the one hand, I was
00:01:24.000 | so humbled by the high view of God's standard taken by the church leadership,
00:01:28.000 | but on the other hand, I wondered if this was too harsh. It takes a very special grace
00:01:32.000 | to withstand sexual temptation, especially in a man or woman of a certain age and experience.
00:01:36.000 | And many pastors struggle with hidden sins, such as
00:01:40.000 | pornography. My question is this, is faultless chastity
00:01:44.000 | too high of a standard to hold for pastors?"
00:01:48.000 | Well, I start with the conviction that the
00:01:52.000 | coming of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, into the world
00:01:56.000 | and the revelation of the love of God in the
00:02:00.000 | sacrifice of his Son and the pattern
00:02:04.000 | of suffering and self-denial set by Jesus
00:02:08.000 | and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of the
00:02:12.000 | risen Christ and the vivid clarification
00:02:16.000 | of the riches of the Christian inheritance beyond death
00:02:20.000 | and the radical counter-cultural teachings of Jesus
00:02:24.000 | on how Christians are to live and the establishment
00:02:28.000 | of the new covenant in which the law is written
00:02:32.000 | on our hearts. I start with the conviction
00:02:36.000 | that all of these and more mean
00:02:40.000 | that the standard of behavior for God's people
00:02:44.000 | now are higher than they were
00:02:48.000 | in the Old Testament. Jesus raised
00:02:52.000 | the bar. He said, for example, "Because
00:02:56.000 | of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce
00:03:00.000 | your wives, but from the beginning it wasn't so," Matthew
00:03:04.000 | 19:8. And then he called them to rise up
00:03:08.000 | above the Mosaic compromise with sin.
00:03:12.000 | So, with that conviction,
00:03:16.000 | I don't disagree that it takes, quote,
00:03:20.000 | "a very special grace to withstand sexual
00:03:24.000 | temptation." Indeed, it does. But my point is
00:03:28.000 | this grace, this blood-bought
00:03:32.000 | grace, this glorious new covenant
00:03:36.000 | grace is available in Christ to all Christians.
00:03:40.000 | For example, 2 Corinthians 9.8.
00:03:44.000 | God is able to make all
00:03:48.000 | grace abound to you, so that having all
00:03:52.000 | sufficiency in all things at all times, you may
00:03:56.000 | abound in every good work.
00:04:00.000 | Every good work, which includes the very minimal
00:04:04.000 | good works of staying out of bed with your girlfriend
00:04:08.000 | until you're married, and then being faithful
00:04:12.000 | to your wife after marriage—that's minimal good works.
00:04:16.000 | Or 1 Corinthians 10.13.
00:04:20.000 | "No temptation has overtaken you that is not
00:04:24.000 | common to man. God is faithful, and
00:04:28.000 | he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but
00:04:32.000 | with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape
00:04:36.000 | that you may be able to endure it." In other words,
00:04:40.000 | yes, yes, it requires great
00:04:44.000 | grace to be chased—grace
00:04:48.000 | beyond common grace. But that's the very
00:04:52.000 | ocean we were thrown into
00:04:56.000 | when we were united to Christ. Through
00:05:00.000 | him we have obtained access by faith
00:05:04.000 | into this grace in which we stand—I would say
00:05:08.000 | in which we swim—an ocean. It's an ocean of grace.
00:05:12.000 | To be a Christian, living in this ocean
00:05:16.000 | of almighty grace, is to be led by the Spirit.
00:05:20.000 | Romans 8.14. "All who are led by the Spirit
00:05:24.000 | are the sons of God." And, Galatians
00:05:28.000 | 5.23, "The fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control."
00:05:33.000 | And that word, "enkritia," refers explicitly to sexual
00:05:38.000 | self-control, in Galatians 5.23.
00:05:42.000 | Or Colossians 3.5, "Put to death, therefore, what is earthly
00:05:46.000 | in you—sexual immorality, impurity, passion,
00:05:50.000 | evil desire, covetousness, which is idolatry.
00:05:54.000 | On account of these, the wrath of God is coming."
00:05:58.000 | Just like Jesus said, "Everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent
00:06:02.000 | has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes
00:06:06.000 | you to sin, tear it out, throw it away, for it is better that you
00:06:10.000 | lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." So Jesus
00:06:14.000 | and Paul talk about hell in
00:06:18.000 | relationship to the failure to adapt,
00:06:22.000 | adopt, receive, be empowered by this grace
00:06:26.000 | that God has purchased for us in the new covenant.
00:06:30.000 | Then, after the conviction that Christ's standards
00:06:34.000 | are higher than Moses' standards, there's the truth
00:06:38.000 | that standards for elders and pastors
00:06:42.000 | are higher than for ordinary Christian
00:06:46.000 | church members. Besides the special
00:06:50.000 | gifting required for elders and pastors called "teaching"
00:06:54.000 | and "governing"—1 Timothy 3, 2, and 5—
00:06:58.000 | there are ethical standards where the pastor is to be
00:07:02.000 | above reproach—1 Timothy 3, 2—because
00:07:06.000 | he's a very public figure
00:07:10.000 | and has the weighty calling of being an example
00:07:14.000 | to the flock—1 Peter 5, 3—and an example to the world—
00:07:18.000 | 1 Timothy 3, 7. "So I exhort the elders
00:07:22.000 | among you, exercise oversight,
00:07:26.000 | not domineering over those in your charge, but being
00:07:30.000 | examples to the flock"—1 Peter 5.
00:07:34.000 | And Paul makes explicit that this
00:07:38.000 | example that pastors are to set is
00:07:42.000 | sexual purity. Set the believers an example
00:07:46.000 | in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith,
00:07:50.000 | in purity—1 Timothy 4, 12.
00:07:54.000 | Show yourself in all respects to be a model
00:07:58.000 | of good works so that an opponent
00:08:02.000 | may be put to shame having nothing evil to say about us—
00:08:06.000 | Titus 2, 6—all of which
00:08:10.000 | leads to Paul's weighty words to the elders in Acts 20,
00:08:14.000 | 28, "Pay careful attention
00:08:18.000 | to yourselves and to all the flock
00:08:22.000 | in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers
00:08:26.000 | to care for the church of God which he obtained
00:08:30.000 | with his own blood"—Acts 20, 28.
00:08:34.000 | In spite of the fact that many pastors
00:08:38.000 | try to give the impression, with misplaced humility,
00:08:42.000 | that they are just one of the guys—
00:08:46.000 | don't put me on a pedestal, I'm just one of the guys—they
00:08:50.000 | are emphatically not just one of the guys.
00:08:54.000 | I'll say it again. Pastors are emphatically not
00:08:58.000 | just one of the guys. They are the shepherd of
00:09:02.000 | the guys. They are the wolf catchers and wolf fighters of the guys.
00:09:06.000 | They are the examples to the guys. They are the protectors and teachers
00:09:10.000 | with authority over the guys. Maybe
00:09:14.000 | one of our problems is that we've just scared pastors
00:09:18.000 | witless about being what they ought to be.
00:09:22.000 | So what I'm suggesting is that
00:09:26.000 | it is biblically inconceivable that
00:09:30.000 | such a shepherd could be living above the standard
00:09:34.000 | of Moses and above the standard of ordinary Christians
00:09:38.000 | and above the reproach of the world and yet be
00:09:42.000 | living in sexual sin. So my answer to the
00:09:46.000 | question is that it is not too high a standard to
00:09:50.000 | require that a pastor live a life free
00:09:54.000 | from sexual fornication and adultery
00:09:58.000 | and any ongoing use of pornography.
00:10:02.000 | Thank you for walking us through those texts, Pastor John, and thanks for sending in the question.
00:10:06.000 | We publish this podcast three times a week with over 1,500 episodes now in the archive.
00:10:10.000 | You can find them, you can subscribe to the podcast, or send me a question of your own.
00:10:14.000 | You can follow that online at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn
00:10:18.000 | Well, how can I be freed from my obsession with my appearance?
00:10:22.000 | It's an ever-important question today, and it's been a question since biblical times, too.
00:10:26.000 | And it's a question from an anonymous young woman who listens
00:10:30.000 | to every podcast episode. No doubt listening right now.
00:10:34.000 | That's up next time. How can I be freed from my obsession with my appearance?
00:10:38.000 | That's on the other side of the weekend. I'm Tony Reinke. We'll see you back here on Monday.
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