Should I Leave an Inheritance for My Children?

00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)

00:00:02.580 | - One of the themes we address on the podcast is retirement

00:00:07.260 | and how to not waste the retirement years.

00:00:09.680 | We've talked about end of life decisions as well,

00:00:12.940 | but very little about inheritances and wills,

00:00:16.680 | but we do so today,

00:00:17.840 | initiated by a really important question

00:00:19.840 | that came from an anonymous woman.

00:00:22.260 | Here's what she wrote.

00:00:24.040 | Pastor John, thank you for this podcast.

00:00:25.820 | My husband and I are in our 70s,

00:00:28.000 | both working and healthy by God's kindness.

00:00:30.680 | Of course, we're all terminal, as you know.

00:00:33.120 | Here's my question.

00:00:34.760 | We own a property valued at nearly $2 million.

00:00:38.280 | Additionally, we own investment properties

00:00:40.400 | that will fund our expenses

00:00:41.520 | when we can no longer bring in income.

00:00:43.840 | My question is about who will inherit our assets

00:00:46.440 | when we're gone.

00:00:47.720 | We have three children.

00:00:48.840 | One does not follow the Lord.

00:00:50.940 | One is a believer who married a spouse

00:00:53.120 | who is not very serious about the things of God.

00:00:55.820 | And one is disabled with mental illness.

00:01:00.260 | Our first two children are materially fine.

00:01:03.200 | Currently, I'm inclined to leave the bulk of our assets

00:01:05.600 | to Christian ministries and invest in the kingdom of God

00:01:08.440 | with a modest trust fund set up for our third child.

00:01:12.200 | How do you navigate this decision?

00:01:14.400 | The Bible says, quote,

00:01:15.480 | "A good man leaves an inheritance

00:01:17.640 | to his children's children," end quote.

00:01:20.320 | That's Proverbs 13, 22,

00:01:21.880 | but I feel an opposite approach would be wiser here.

00:01:25.520 | Is it?

00:01:26.420 | - Well, first let me say that I am answering this question

00:01:29.760 | right off of our front burner

00:01:32.900 | because we too are in our 70s,

00:01:37.000 | the same as you.

00:01:38.460 | And we have been sitting.

00:01:42.340 | Just a few weeks ago,

00:01:43.880 | Noelle and I sat down with two lawyers

00:01:47.840 | and one of our sons

00:01:50.380 | and a financial counselor from a Christian agency

00:01:53.880 | and had a big powwow about wills and trusts

00:01:57.720 | and medical directives to try to get our house in order.

00:02:01.820 | And we have been thinking a lot.

00:02:05.160 | We got the green light from two of our sons

00:02:07.560 | to be willing to function as executors,

00:02:11.260 | which they don't call them executors anymore, amazingly.

00:02:13.860 | You know why?

00:02:14.700 | Because it's a masculine word.

00:02:16.240 | Oh my goodness.

00:02:17.500 | Personal representative is what they say now.

00:02:19.080 | Isn't that unbelievable?

00:02:20.200 | - Yes.

00:02:21.040 | - Unbelievable.

00:02:21.880 | Great, okay, that's another podcast.

00:02:23.980 | (both laughing)

00:02:25.920 | So we involved a Christian financial service

00:02:30.060 | that we trust to give us good counsel.

00:02:32.620 | And Noelle and I have spent a lot of time thinking

00:02:35.160 | and praying about the issue of inheritance.

00:02:38.520 | That's the first thing to say.

00:02:39.660 | It's right off our front burner.

00:02:41.100 | The second thing I want to do

00:02:43.040 | is give a brief comment about two biblical passages.

00:02:46.040 | A first, the one you mentioned,

00:02:48.600 | a good man leaves an inheritance to his children,

00:02:51.180 | but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.

00:02:55.480 | That's Proverbs 13, 22.

00:02:57.680 | I don't think the point of this proverb

00:03:01.080 | is that a good man should or has a duty

00:03:06.080 | to leave an inheritance to his children and grandchildren,

00:03:09.960 | but that in general, a good man has the resources

00:03:14.500 | and the ability to do it,

00:03:16.700 | and that his children and grandchildren

00:03:19.160 | will experience blessing because they had a good man

00:03:23.600 | for a father and a grandfather.

00:03:26.160 | I don't think it's a command, but a blessing,

00:03:30.120 | because the contrast in the second half of the verse

00:03:34.160 | goes like this.

00:03:35.200 | The sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.

00:03:40.200 | In other words, he thinks, the wicked man, the sinner,

00:03:44.120 | thinks he's accumulating wealth for himself and his heirs,

00:03:48.360 | but it's not gonna work out that way.

00:03:50.840 | So the point seems to be not that every person has a duty

00:03:55.840 | to leave an inheritance of any particular kind

00:04:00.200 | of material goods,

00:04:03.040 | but that the good person is in a position to do so,

00:04:08.040 | to bless his heirs,

00:04:10.040 | and the unrighteous man is not in a position

00:04:13.560 | to bless his heirs in the same way.

00:04:16.260 | Or to put it another way,

00:04:17.440 | children and grandchildren are blessed

00:04:21.080 | to have a righteous father and grandfather.

00:04:24.240 | Blessing will flow to them one way or the other,

00:04:27.760 | but not so the children of an unrighteous father.

00:04:32.200 | And even that hope, I think,

00:04:33.980 | is only a typical proverbial generalization,

00:04:38.200 | because we know from the Bible

00:04:41.760 | that many ungodly people leave huge inheritances

00:04:47.400 | to their children, often to their ruin.

00:04:50.400 | For example, Psalm 17, 13,

00:04:53.560 | deliver my soul from men of the world

00:04:57.840 | whose portion is in this life.

00:05:01.320 | You fill their womb with treasures.

00:05:05.340 | They are satisfied with children

00:05:07.760 | and they leave their abundance to their infants.

00:05:12.080 | That's Psalm 17, 13.

00:05:14.280 | In other words, often unrighteous people

00:05:19.120 | are very wealthy and leave lots of deadly money

00:05:22.960 | for their heirs.

00:05:25.580 | So some wicked men have great inheritances,

00:05:28.560 | but some righteous men are very poor.

00:05:32.780 | Proverbs 28, 6, better is a poor man

00:05:35.680 | who walks in his integrity

00:05:37.800 | than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.

00:05:41.720 | So the point is, proverbs are generalizations,

00:05:45.640 | and in general, the righteous are in a position

00:05:49.520 | to leave a precious legacy, financial and otherwise,

00:05:53.440 | to their children and grandchildren.

00:05:55.480 | Now, the other text I wanted to make a comment about

00:05:58.200 | that she didn't mention, but I think people will mention

00:06:02.000 | if they push into the Bible on this,

00:06:04.360 | is 2 Corinthians 12, 14,

00:06:06.120 | where Paul thinks of himself as a parent to his churches

00:06:10.040 | and says, "For children are not obliged to save up

00:06:13.920 | "for their parents, but parents for their children."

00:06:18.320 | Now, the point, I think, is not about inheritances

00:06:23.320 | in that verse, because even if it were,

00:06:27.000 | the argument wouldn't work

00:06:28.720 | because of the way he relates to his churches.

00:06:31.400 | He's not gonna die in order to be a blessing

00:06:33.160 | to the churches.

00:06:34.200 | The point is that parents are to support their children

00:06:38.120 | while they are growing up.

00:06:40.960 | So whether we leave inheritances to children

00:06:45.440 | and how much we leave to our children should be decided,

00:06:49.000 | I'm arguing, on the basis of wider biblical teachings

00:06:53.720 | rather than on the basis of that proverb

00:06:56.560 | or that passage in 2 Corinthians.

00:06:59.680 | So let me mention five things that Noelle and I

00:07:02.520 | have taken into account that might also inform our friend

00:07:06.680 | who's asking this question and maybe some others.

00:07:09.480 | Number one, be generous to your children

00:07:12.940 | while you are alive and while you can see

00:07:15.840 | how they are doing and what their needs are.

00:07:19.400 | For example, when my father died and left me some money,

00:07:23.760 | left me and my sister some money,

00:07:26.040 | Noelle and I had a wonderful time taking a picture

00:07:29.480 | of my dad from an old photograph, putting it in a card,

00:07:32.840 | writing a special little message about his legacy

00:07:36.520 | and sending a lot of money to each of our kids.

00:07:40.200 | Surprised them with some thousands of dollars

00:07:43.240 | that, 'cause we just didn't need it.

00:07:44.840 | We didn't need the money that daddy left us.

00:07:47.640 | So the point is, while your children are alive,

00:07:51.960 | bear witness to the sufficiency of Jesus

00:07:55.680 | by being generous to them according to their real needs

00:08:00.680 | rather than waiting for the blessing to only come

00:08:04.920 | when you're gone.

00:08:07.040 | Here's number two, be aware of the dangers of wealth

00:08:11.640 | for yourself and for your children.

00:08:13.520 | Jesus said very plainly, "It's hard for a rich person

00:08:16.560 | "to get into the kingdom of heaven."

00:08:18.400 | Matthew 19, 23.

00:08:19.760 | Being rich is not necessarily a blessing.

00:08:24.760 | Far more often, it is a curse.

00:08:27.920 | There are many legacies to leave children

00:08:33.400 | that are vastly more important than money.

00:08:37.280 | That's number two, be aware of that danger.

00:08:39.840 | Number three, this is especially true

00:08:42.680 | when wealth is gotten easily and quickly.

00:08:47.680 | For example, with inheritances.

00:08:49.560 | Proverbs 13, 11, "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,

00:08:54.560 | "but whoever gathers little by little will increase."

00:08:58.680 | Or Proverbs 20, 21, "An inheritance gained hastily

00:09:03.680 | "in the beginning will not be blessed in the end."

00:09:09.280 | In other words, like the prodigal son,

00:09:11.480 | got all of his inheritance at once,

00:09:13.080 | give it to me, dad, dad gives it to him,

00:09:14.680 | and he goes off and ruins his life with it.

00:09:17.160 | Wastes his whole life until God gets ahold of him.

00:09:20.840 | That's number three.

00:09:22.440 | Not only is money dangerous, money gotten quickly

00:09:25.320 | and easily is even more dangerous.

00:09:27.240 | Number four, rather than leaving your entire estate

00:09:32.240 | open-ended to all of your offspring,

00:09:35.920 | consider picking an actual dollar amount.

00:09:39.460 | I'm not counting here actual things like furniture

00:09:43.560 | or books or some heirloom.

00:09:45.680 | I'm just talking about the actual cash.

00:09:48.520 | And leave a fixed amount to each son or daughter

00:09:54.160 | and then leave all the rest to Christian ministries

00:09:58.840 | that you believe in.

00:10:00.680 | This decision felt very freeing to Noelle and me.

00:10:03.780 | We tried to decide what the house and the car

00:10:07.120 | and the saving accounts, et cetera,

00:10:09.560 | if everything were liquidated, what would that be worth?

00:10:12.160 | And then we picked a number that each child would get,

00:10:17.160 | I think, a significant generous number

00:10:20.640 | and yet a limited number that isn't the totality

00:10:25.000 | of the estate.

00:10:26.800 | Everything else we're gonna give,

00:10:28.480 | we're gonna leave to the National Christian Foundation

00:10:31.160 | 'cause I presume you know about them.

00:10:32.800 | They distribute the money according to the way you want it.

00:10:37.120 | Can go to your church, can go to Desiring God for Mom,

00:10:40.240 | can go to Bethlehem College and Seminary.

00:10:42.000 | And so the reason it's so much easier

00:10:44.760 | to leave your residual amounts to a foundation like that

00:10:49.720 | is because to change your will is difficult

00:10:53.440 | if you specify the ministries in your will,

00:10:55.400 | whereas I can get on the phone and within a minute,

00:10:59.280 | change the place that the money will go out

00:11:02.440 | from the National Christian Foundation.

00:11:04.080 | So just a hint that if you decide to leave large amounts

00:11:08.880 | of money to Christian ministries,

00:11:10.720 | there's an easy way to do it without specifying

00:11:13.240 | those ministries in your will.

00:11:14.840 | And I'm sure you're far ahead of me

00:11:16.840 | on that kind of research.

00:11:17.840 | But here's the last thing, number five.

00:11:20.160 | By all means, take thought for special needs,

00:11:23.640 | especially children or grandchildren with disabilities

00:11:27.360 | or other difficulties that would make life harder for them.

00:11:31.680 | So special trust accounts and things like that

00:11:33.960 | is a beautiful Christian act of love, I think.

00:11:38.080 | So those are the ways, some of them,

00:11:40.400 | that Noelle and I have thought through so far.

00:11:44.320 | We don't claim to be perfect in this,

00:11:46.360 | but let me stress in closing,

00:11:49.160 | as I'm sure you already know,

00:11:50.440 | that vastly more important than any financial legacy

00:11:55.440 | is the legacy of biblical truth

00:11:58.700 | and the glorious gospel of Christ

00:12:01.600 | and a life showing the love of Christ.

00:12:05.680 | - Yeah, very good.

00:12:06.520 | Thank you for sharing this process, Pastor John,

00:12:08.360 | that you're going through with Noelle and your family.

00:12:11.000 | And thank you for joining us today.

00:12:13.280 | You can ask a question of your own,

00:12:14.640 | search our growing archive,

00:12:15.720 | or subscribe to the podcast,

00:12:16.960 | all at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.

00:12:20.840 | Well, this podcast launched nine years ago.

00:12:25.320 | We're so grateful to God for sustaining grace

00:12:27.200 | over these nine years.

00:12:28.320 | And we're back next time to address a question we get a lot.

00:12:32.240 | Should I become a preacher?

00:12:35.440 | And if so, how would I know?

00:12:38.600 | That's the question next time,

00:12:39.920 | very common one we get all the time.

00:12:41.620 | We finally address it.

00:12:43.040 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.

00:12:43.880 | I'll see you back here on Wednesday.

00:12:46.320 | Thanks for listening.

00:12:47.360 | (upbeat music)

00:12:49.940 | (upbeat music)

00:12:52.520 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

Should I Leave an Inheritance for My Children?

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