The Holy Kiss — Relevant Today or Not?

00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)

00:00:02.580 | Vince writes in to ask this, hello Pastor John,

00:00:08.320 | I'm a farmer here in Indiana,

00:00:10.200 | and I have greatly enjoyed your app

00:00:12.160 | while I put in long hours in bringing in the harvest.

00:00:15.880 | That's wonderful to hear.

00:00:17.480 | Would you comment on Paul's encouragement

00:00:19.760 | that New Testament churches greet one another

00:00:22.000 | with a holy kiss?

00:00:23.880 | See Romans 16.16, 1 Corinthians 16.20,

00:00:29.040 | 2 Corinthians 13.12, and 1 Thessalonians 5.26.

00:00:34.040 | It may have been a cultural practice of the day,

00:00:37.760 | but even if the practice has passed away,

00:00:39.600 | is there any contemporary relevance for us today

00:00:42.680 | to take out of it?

00:00:43.700 | So yes, Paul four times tells the church,

00:00:48.360 | the Romans, Corinthians, Thessalonians

00:00:50.320 | to greet one another with a holy kiss.

00:00:54.600 | And Peter says to greet one another with kiss of love.

00:00:59.060 | And I would say that has at least three implications for us.

00:01:05.120 | First, let's do it.

00:01:07.560 | I mean, even if the hug and the handshake today

00:01:11.640 | in my culture, more common among Christians in the West,

00:01:16.640 | as I know them, at least it seems to me

00:01:22.880 | that we don't have to be resistant to learning something

00:01:27.760 | from other cultures and places and times.

00:01:31.040 | We might do well to broaden

00:01:34.560 | our possible expressions of affection.

00:01:37.380 | It doesn't seem to me that Paul and Peter tell the church

00:01:42.240 | to greet one another with a holy kiss,

00:01:44.960 | meaning you dare not even see one another

00:01:49.920 | without kissing one another.

00:01:51.980 | It's not that kind of rule.

00:01:54.880 | You know, like if you walk out of this room

00:01:57.000 | while we're having tea and you walk back into the room,

00:02:01.200 | I need to greet you with a kiss.

00:02:02.920 | Or if I see you between classes at nine, I need to kiss you.

00:02:07.920 | And if I see you after that class

00:02:10.760 | as we're walking down the hall, I need to kiss you again.

00:02:14.360 | Paul and Peter were not prescribing that kind of precision.

00:02:20.080 | They were saying, take the physical, familial expression

00:02:25.080 | of endearment and use it in a way that is holy

00:02:30.660 | to express your love for one another.

00:02:34.500 | And he didn't prescribe that it had to be done

00:02:36.700 | every single time you see one another fresh

00:02:39.500 | for the full time.

00:02:40.420 | He just said, use it, use it, do it.

00:02:43.180 | And I think that we would do well to think of ways

00:02:47.060 | that we might include a holy kiss in our greetings,

00:02:50.340 | especially perhaps for very dear friends

00:02:54.180 | after very long absences.

00:02:56.620 | And I'm mainly thinking of people of the same sex here

00:02:59.060 | because I think you have to be so careful

00:03:00.780 | with kissing people of the opposite sex.

00:03:03.780 | There are two men in my life who kiss me when I see them.

00:03:07.980 | I don't see them, but once, twice a year sometimes.

00:03:11.180 | And they kiss me on the cheek

00:03:13.660 | after these months of separation.

00:03:15.620 | Only two, there used to be three.

00:03:17.580 | And now my father is in heaven, and so there's only two.

00:03:20.980 | And frankly, it means a great deal to me

00:03:25.180 | that these brothers put a kiss on my cheek.

00:03:28.700 | Both of them are manly, thoughtful, self-controlled guys.

00:03:33.500 | It means one thing, you, John Piper, are precious to me.

00:03:38.500 | I value our friendship very highly,

00:03:42.420 | though we don't see each other very often.

00:03:44.740 | That's what it means.

00:03:46.220 | Number two, that's the first implication.

00:03:47.980 | Just let's do it in appropriate ways.

00:03:51.740 | Number two, the point that Paul and Peter are making

00:03:55.980 | is to stress that the ordinary kiss,

00:03:59.580 | and it is just an ordinary kiss,

00:04:01.540 | should be made holy by the Christian church

00:04:05.800 | rather than being abandoned.

00:04:07.880 | So there's a lesson here for us.

00:04:09.500 | He says a holy kiss, kiss each other with a holy kiss.

00:04:13.660 | Kissing is not uniquely Christian.

00:04:16.380 | It's not a uniquely Christian affection.

00:04:19.420 | And what the apostles do is say,

00:04:21.180 | take it from the world and sanctify it.

00:04:24.340 | Make it holy.

00:04:25.940 | Devote it to God.

00:04:27.900 | Make it say something about the Holy One.

00:04:30.140 | Include God in your hearts and in your thoughts

00:04:33.500 | when you greet one another with this ordinary,

00:04:38.300 | culturally common greeting.

00:04:42.760 | It seems to me similar to 1 Timothy 2.8

00:04:47.760 | where Paul says that he wants the men

00:04:51.440 | to pray lifting holy hands.

00:04:54.820 | I think the main point there is not that everywhere

00:05:00.400 | and at all times in the church where there's prayer,

00:05:04.000 | the men must have their hands in the air.

00:05:06.560 | Surely there are times when other postures

00:05:10.260 | would also be appropriate.

00:05:12.480 | The point is when you lift your hands,

00:05:16.200 | they should be holy hands in prayer.

00:05:20.220 | So when the kiss of affection is given to a brother

00:05:25.220 | in Christ, it should not be sensual or manipulative

00:05:29.640 | or offensive or hypocritical or in any way,

00:05:33.640 | pretending to express affection that's not really there.

00:05:37.960 | It shouldn't hide any sin in our lives.

00:05:40.640 | It should be a holy kiss.

00:05:43.820 | So the lesson we can learn here is that whatever means,

00:05:46.960 | whatever means of expressing greetings,

00:05:50.160 | I mean, right now, what do you do?

00:05:51.260 | Ball up your fist and hit somebody's knuckles.

00:05:53.380 | Where'd that come from?

00:05:54.540 | So I think what the apostles want to do

00:05:59.060 | is encourage us to use various culturally appropriate

00:06:06.780 | symbols of greeting and sanctify them and make them holy.

00:06:10.920 | What do we do?

00:06:11.760 | We ball up our fists and we do fist bumps with each other.

00:06:16.760 | I hardly ever know what to do.

00:06:17.880 | Somebody makes a fist at me and says,

00:06:19.240 | "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to punch you on the fist."

00:06:22.600 | What is that?

00:06:23.520 | I don't know where that comes from or what that is,

00:06:25.220 | but I do it and I think Paul would look at that

00:06:27.880 | and he would say, "I encourage all of you guys."

00:06:31.400 | I don't know whether women do this or not,

00:06:33.680 | "I encourage all of you guys to fist bump

00:06:37.820 | "with a holy fist bump."

00:06:39.980 | That's what he's getting at.

00:06:41.020 | Take the culturally appropriate means of showing brotherhood

00:06:45.380 | or camaraderie or affection and make them holy.

00:06:49.660 | That's the gist here, so that's the second thing.

00:06:52.020 | And the third thing is, I suspect this is the main point,

00:06:57.020 | namely that Christians should feel genuine affection

00:07:03.940 | for one another.

00:07:05.000 | I've been reading 1 Peter a lot lately

00:07:09.340 | and really been impressed 'cause I'm teaching it

00:07:11.180 | to the seminary guys, and it seems to me

00:07:15.440 | that Peter is writing to a persecuted, beleaguered church,

00:07:19.820 | trying to encourage them how to live as exiles

00:07:22.620 | in a vast sea of unbelievers

00:07:26.220 | who are being very hostile to them,

00:07:29.920 | and he's laboring to help them not just show dutiful,

00:07:34.920 | sacrificial love to each other, but rather to feel earnest,

00:07:40.540 | heartfelt affection to one another.

00:07:43.080 | I think that's why he says at the end,

00:07:46.220 | "Kiss one another with the kiss of love."

00:07:48.620 | So 1 Peter 1.22, "Having purified your souls

00:07:52.280 | "by obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love,

00:07:56.520 | "love one another earnestly from a pure heart."

00:08:01.480 | So those words are so beyond treat each other nice,

00:08:06.480 | way beyond treating.

00:08:09.140 | He is calling for Christians to really have changes of heart

00:08:13.500 | so that when we approach another Christian,

00:08:16.320 | our hearts are drawn out in words like this.

00:08:19.820 | This is 1 Peter 3.8, "Have unity of mind,

00:08:23.200 | "sympathy, brotherly love, tenderness of heart,

00:08:28.200 | "humble mind."

00:08:29.620 | I mean, three of those, sympathy, brotherly love,

00:08:31.820 | tender heart, imply how warm and tender and gentle

00:08:36.780 | and kind and affectionate we should be

00:08:39.700 | towards brothers and sisters in Christ.

00:08:42.100 | Those are amazing words,

00:08:44.460 | and that's what Peter wants to see happen,

00:08:46.580 | and I think that's really what's behind both Peter and Paul

00:08:50.120 | saying that we should use a holy kiss.

00:08:55.120 | He wants us to be demonstrative in real affections,

00:09:00.540 | and that's what we should seek to grow in.

00:09:03.540 | - Thank you, Pastor John.

00:09:04.580 | Fist bump with a holy fist bump.

00:09:06.500 | That's outstanding.

00:09:08.020 | Thank you, Pastor John.

00:09:08.860 | Keep up with the daily Ask Pastor John podcast online

00:09:12.660 | through our free apps, of course,

00:09:14.220 | and you can find out more at our online home

00:09:16.940 | at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.

00:09:20.320 | There you can send in questions of your own

00:09:22.200 | like Vince did today.

00:09:24.360 | Well, speaking of online,

00:09:25.520 | I bet most of us know the thrill of going online

00:09:27.680 | and ordering things for ourselves

00:09:29.240 | that arrive at our homes within days, maybe hours.

00:09:33.200 | We're living in a golden age of online shopping conveniences

00:09:36.720 | and it can also become an addiction in our lives,

00:09:39.080 | and a listener wants to know

00:09:40.840 | if she is addicted to online shopping

00:09:43.000 | and what to do about it.

00:09:44.840 | She asked for John Piper's help tomorrow.

00:09:46.840 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.

00:09:47.960 | Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast.

00:09:50.880 | (silence)

00:09:53.040 | (silence)

00:09:55.200 | (silence)

00:09:57.360 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

The Holy Kiss — Relevant Today or Not?

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