Navigating the Fine Line Between Directness and Respect
00:00:00.000 | One of the things about radical candor is that sometimes people hear the term and they assume
00:00:05.120 | it is licensed to act like a jerk, which it is not. So if you think about caring and challenging
00:00:11.200 | at the same time, those two things, they don't really seem so radical. So why do I call it
00:00:15.680 | radical candor? Everyone I've ever met struggles with feedback. They struggle hearing it and they
00:00:22.480 | struggle giving it. So you don't want to be obnoxiously aggressive because it's inefficient.
00:00:27.200 | Like if I'm a jerk to you, Chris, then you go into fight or flight mode and then you literally,
00:00:31.440 | physically cannot hear what I'm saying. So I'm wasting my breath. When I realize that I've acted
00:00:36.400 | like a jerk, it's not actually my instinctive response to move up on the care personally
00:00:42.880 | dimension of radical candor. Instead, it's my response to go the wrong way on challenge
00:00:47.760 | directly and say, Oh, I'm sorry. It's no big deal. I didn't really mean it, but it is a big deal. And
00:00:52.080 | I did mean it, you know, so now I'm basically lying. And so now I've landed in the worst place
00:00:56.880 | of all, manipulative insincerity.