Is It Normal to Have a Divided Heart?

00:00:00.000 | My name is Faith Burke.

00:00:02.340 | I'm a wife, homemaker, and homeschooling mom of four kids, eight and under, three boys

00:00:07.340 | and a girl.

00:00:08.820 | We live in the Texas countryside just outside Fort Worth.

00:00:12.320 | I have been a Desiring God ministry partner for over 14 years.

00:00:17.020 | You're listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast with John Piper.

00:00:25.220 | Faith has been a ministry partner of ours for 14 years, back to her days in college.

00:00:30.300 | It's amazing.

00:00:31.300 | I want you to hear her story in just a moment.

00:00:33.180 | But first onto today's question about the divided heart.

00:00:36.300 | The heart, even the heart of a believer, puts up resistance against God.

00:00:41.860 | It's frustrating, but it's not unusual.

00:00:44.060 | And it leads to a great question from an anonymous listener today, a man.

00:00:49.500 | Dear Pastor John, hello, in the episode titled "Why is my delight in God so short-lived?"

00:00:55.460 | That was APJ 903.

00:00:57.860 | There you suggested one way to make our delight in God last longer.

00:01:00.900 | You said, "When you read your Bible every day, pause before you read in earnestly, with

00:01:05.620 | as much heartfelt longing as you can muster.

00:01:08.420 | Pray to God that he would come and meet you in the reading of Scripture and open the eyes

00:01:12.540 | of your heart and show you what is really there and make himself real and bring about

00:01:18.140 | amazing changes in your life."

00:01:20.980 | However, Pastor John, when I muster a longing that God would come and meet me, I find my

00:01:27.340 | heart is unwilling to welcome God.

00:01:30.780 | It seems afraid of meeting God.

00:01:32.760 | It doesn't want to be with God.

00:01:35.320 | And this upsets me.

00:01:37.020 | On one hand, I want myself to be willing to meet God sincerely and enjoy the sweet time

00:01:41.780 | with him.

00:01:43.200 | On the other hand, my heart opposes that.

00:01:45.620 | Such chaos inside.

00:01:47.180 | What can I do when I find my heart is resisting?

00:01:51.020 | So let me repeat the key issue as I hear it.

00:01:56.220 | He says, "When I muster a longing," that's a significant phrase, "When I muster a longing

00:02:03.640 | that God would come and meet me, I find my heart unwilling to welcome God.

00:02:11.140 | Seems afraid of meeting God.

00:02:15.060 | It does not want to be with God.

00:02:17.700 | What can I do when I find my heart resisting?"

00:02:23.380 | So this is clearly a divided heart.

00:02:28.820 | It's not a heart entirely welcoming, and it's not a heart entirely resisting, because he

00:02:36.740 | says, "I muster a longing.

00:02:40.660 | I muster a longing for God.

00:02:43.380 | Muster a longing."

00:02:45.300 | And he says, "When I do, I find my heart unwilling to welcome God."

00:02:53.020 | So this heart is in some measure a longing heart for God and in some measure a resistant

00:03:01.620 | heart to God.

00:03:03.620 | Now that's important for him and for us to see, because if we don't see this division

00:03:12.100 | in the heart, that it's a divided heart, we might overstate the problem and think there's

00:03:18.180 | no real root of desire for God in me.

00:03:21.900 | Or we might understate the problem and think that our resistance is no big deal.

00:03:27.420 | It can't be that.

00:03:28.420 | I can't be resisting God.

00:03:31.100 | And it seems to me that this embattled heart is typical of the Christian life, even if

00:03:38.260 | we don't all describe it the way he does with the language of longing and resisting.

00:03:44.020 | None of us as Christians has a consistently united heart in longing for God.

00:03:53.100 | I have often tried to help others in their prayer lives by sharing what helps me, namely

00:04:01.500 | the acronym IOUS.

00:04:05.780 | And I would commend this to our friend with a focus on the letter U, I O U S, which in

00:04:13.360 | my opening of this acronym doesn't usually get a lot of focus.

00:04:17.900 | I'm usually focusing on the S, the O, or the I.

00:04:21.840 | But this man needs the U, it seems to me.

00:04:25.800 | So the letter, let me just work through it real quick.

00:04:27.860 | The letter I stands for incline.

00:04:31.940 | Psalm 119.36, "Incline my heart to your testimonies, we pray."

00:04:36.860 | So we ask God to take away resistance.

00:04:40.260 | We ask God to incline us toward God and his Word instead of away from God.

00:04:46.420 | And so we admit this is a work of God.

00:04:50.220 | He would not be praying, the psalmist would not be praying like this if the inclination

00:04:56.780 | was finally in our own power.

00:04:59.580 | He wouldn't be asking God to incline his heart.

00:05:01.820 | We plead with God to take our hearts in his hands and incline them, bend them toward his

00:05:10.660 | Word.

00:05:11.660 | Then the letter O stands for open.

00:05:14.580 | I O open, Psalm 119.18, "Open my eyes that I may behold wonderful things out of your

00:05:21.140 | instruction."

00:05:22.220 | We need God to do the miracle on the eyes of our heart so that we can see the truth

00:05:28.340 | and beauty and value of who he is right there in his Word.

00:05:34.340 | If we are left to ourselves, we admit by praying, if we are left to ourselves in meditating

00:05:41.100 | on God's Word, we will see nothing of spiritual beauty and worth.

00:05:47.700 | And then comes the third letter, U, which in this case is going to be especially important.

00:05:54.860 | It stands for unite.

00:05:57.340 | Psalm 8611, "Unite my heart to fear your name."

00:06:02.820 | What an amazing prayer.

00:06:05.100 | Unite my heart.

00:06:08.780 | So what's the problem that this psalmist is praying to solve?

00:06:16.180 | The problem is a divided heart, and that's what we're dealing with here in this question

00:06:23.420 | on APJ.

00:06:24.740 | This man has a longing for God and he has a resistance to God.

00:06:30.760 | His heart is divided.

00:06:32.940 | It needs to be united in its longing for God.

00:06:38.420 | So I would say to our friend, recognize that you have a divided heart and plead in prayer

00:06:46.560 | Psalm 8611, "Oh God, unite my heart to fear your name."

00:06:53.660 | And of course, fear, fear your name doesn't mean feel a resistance to God's coming because

00:07:01.820 | you're afraid of him.

00:07:04.180 | Just the opposite.

00:07:05.820 | Fear of running from him.

00:07:08.860 | What we fear when we fear God is we fear resisting him.

00:07:12.900 | We fear pushing him away.

00:07:15.260 | We fear the horrible outcome of hardening our hearts against the sweetness of his fellowship.

00:07:22.140 | God's chosen people who embrace Christ as their treasured savior are the apple of his

00:07:29.820 | eye.

00:07:30.940 | They are his loved ones.

00:07:32.900 | Or as the psalmist says, the friendship of the Lord is for those who, surprisingly, fear

00:07:41.260 | him.

00:07:42.260 | Do you hear the connection between Psalm 8611 and Psalm 2514?

00:07:47.740 | Unite my heart to fear your name and the friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him.

00:07:54.580 | The fear of God does not drive us away from God.

00:07:58.460 | The fear of God drives us into God where there are the pleasures of friendship.

00:08:05.540 | So pray Psalm 8611, "Unite my heart to fear your name," and then preach to yourself Psalm

00:08:11.940 | 2514, the friendship, the sweet private counsels of the Lord are precisely for those whose

00:08:21.980 | hearts are united to fear God's name.

00:08:25.740 | Then preach to yourself the promise of the new covenant in Jeremiah 32, 39, where God

00:08:31.740 | says, "I will give them one heart and one way that they may fear me forever for their

00:08:40.460 | own good, that may fear me."

00:08:44.860 | I will give them a single united heart that they may fear me forever.

00:08:50.140 | So now we have not only the prayer that our hearts would be united in the fear of God

00:08:56.020 | rather than resistance to God, and not only do we have the promise that friendship, the

00:09:01.300 | friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, now we have, Jeremiah 32, a new covenant.

00:09:08.220 | That means a blood-bought, Jesus blood-bought promise that God himself takes out the heart

00:09:14.700 | of stone and gives a united single heart.

00:09:18.700 | I will give them a heart to fear me.

00:09:23.560 | So when you find this division in your heart and a resistance begins to rise up, pushing

00:09:30.460 | out the welcome and the longing, declare to yourself, preach to yourself and to your sin

00:09:38.140 | and to Satan, "No, no!"

00:09:40.300 | You might even say it out loud.

00:09:42.460 | I talk out loud sometimes to my sin and to Satan.

00:09:46.300 | This resistance is not the new covenant work of Jesus that he bought for me.

00:09:51.700 | No, it's not.

00:09:52.700 | The new covenant work that he bought with his blood is a single new united heart that

00:09:58.820 | fears God, welcomes God, enjoys the friendship of God.

00:10:02.460 | It is united in its love for God, and you throw, you throw the truth of the blood-bought

00:10:10.100 | new covenant promise in the face of the deceiver, and then you meditate.

00:10:15.500 | Perhaps on James 1.8 and James 4.8, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways."

00:10:23.140 | Purify your hearts, you double-minded.

00:10:26.940 | And you read that and you call down all the purifying power, purifying.

00:10:32.340 | Purify your hearts, you double-minded.

00:10:33.880 | You call down the purifying power of the blood of Jesus.

00:10:38.420 | Christ died that we might have a single heart for him.

00:10:45.080 | So don't give up.

00:10:46.860 | I'm saying this now to our friend.

00:10:48.780 | Don't give up.

00:10:49.780 | Don't surrender to a divided heart.

00:10:53.540 | Resist the resistance of God.

00:10:56.660 | Call out to God for a single heart and fix your mind on the promises.

00:11:02.660 | Friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him.

00:11:06.520 | He will give a single united heart to his blood-bought people.

00:11:11.420 | And the "S," the lonely "S" at the end of our acronym, I-O-U-S, will come to pass.

00:11:20.620 | Psalm 90, 14, "Satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love."

00:11:27.700 | So good.

00:11:28.700 | Thank you, Pastor John.

00:11:29.700 | It's an important way to address the divided heart.

00:11:31.900 | Well, you met Faith at the top of the episode.

00:11:34.660 | Faith is a wife, a homemaker, and a homeschooling mom of four kids, eight and under, three boys

00:11:39.100 | and a girl.

00:11:40.100 | They all live just outside of Fort Worth, Texas.

00:11:43.020 | Faith has been a Desiring God ministry partner with us for over 14 years now, dating back

00:11:47.740 | to when she was a student in college.

00:11:50.260 | It's amazing.

00:11:51.260 | I want you to meet Faith now.

00:11:53.180 | She's on the phone with me from her home.

00:11:55.420 | Faith, thank you for taking a moment from your very busy days at home to talk with us.

00:12:00.220 | I've heard you say in the past that Desiring God Resources, and John Piper's ministry in

00:12:04.260 | particular, built your backbone of faith back in your 20s.

00:12:10.300 | Share that story with us here on the podcast.

00:12:13.020 | Yes.

00:12:14.020 | So I was on a mission trip in Italy with YWAM when I read my first John Piper book, The

00:12:18.420 | Dangerous Duty of Delight.

00:12:20.340 | And so, you know, like many 20 year olds back then, I was drawn to this radical, solid,

00:12:25.620 | biblical, loving God with your mind approach to my faith.

00:12:29.260 | So then back home in Texas, I started to attend conferences where Pastor John was speaking

00:12:33.980 | and I started listening to Desiring God CDs and reading articles from the Desiring God

00:12:38.860 | website.

00:12:39.860 | I was hungry for answers to life's tough questions.

00:12:43.700 | Desiring God and John Piper built the backbone of my faith in my 20s, and I'm so grateful.

00:12:48.180 | So then I got married in 2012.

00:12:51.580 | I suffered six difficult pregnancies over the next seven years.

00:12:56.300 | I was hospitalized, I was losing weight.

00:12:58.460 | I had hyperemesis gravidarum.

00:13:01.420 | We lost two babies.

00:13:02.900 | And yet God remains faithful and Desiring God continued to be a guiding light.

00:13:07.620 | From the beginning, John Piper would tackle these hard questions and he didn't skirt around

00:13:11.620 | them.

00:13:12.620 | He didn't give easy, feel good, fun sermons.

00:13:15.220 | He really challenged us in our 20s and he gave us something more to live for.

00:13:20.260 | He convinced us that truly God is most glorified in us when we're most satisfied in Him.

00:13:25.980 | And he promoted this, you know, radical lifestyle changes, like going on a mission trip to an

00:13:31.500 | unreached people group, you know, and why are we asking the question, is it safe?

00:13:36.220 | He just really challenged us to not waste our life.

00:13:39.340 | And that just really struck a chord with me.

00:13:42.580 | And so just his unshakable faith in God, his confidence in God's sovereignty, the consistency

00:13:48.460 | in his message and his life, he just really modeled the kind of Christian that I wanted

00:13:53.060 | to be.

00:13:54.060 | You now homeschool four kiddos, so your days are very full and busy.

00:13:58.220 | And this podcast and Desiring God Resource is coming to play in your parenting too.

00:14:02.540 | Explain how that works.

00:14:03.540 | Yeah.

00:14:04.540 | So, you know, I never realized in all the reading and learning from Desiring God that

00:14:08.820 | I did in my single years, how that would prove to be such a resource in mothering.

00:14:14.420 | For example, like tough questions that my kids ask me about God and how life works.

00:14:19.340 | They ask me all the time, these kind of questions.

00:14:21.940 | And for example, after one of my tough miscarriages, my little son, Ozzy, I think he was four or

00:14:27.820 | five at the time, asked, "But mommy, why did the baby die?"

00:14:31.580 | Trying to wrap their little minds around these hard life situations.

00:14:36.580 | And I was able to draw from what I'd read and learned from Desiring God about God and

00:14:40.860 | about his sovereignty and just give them solid little kid answers like, "You know, honey,

00:14:45.860 | mommy doesn't know why, but we do know that God's good and God had a purpose for this

00:14:50.460 | little baby, even if he only lived in my tummy."

00:14:53.340 | And so it's just a, it's a big responsibility shaping these little, you know, biblical life

00:14:58.500 | perspectives.

00:14:59.500 | And I'm just so thankful for these resources.

00:15:01.800 | One of the things I love about Desiring God is the accessibility.

00:15:05.760 | If anything happens, like some sort of tragedy, just at my fingertips, I can pick up my phone

00:15:11.020 | and go to the website and enter in a question or look up a verse or search for a hard topic.

00:15:18.460 | And these articles pop up that I know are biblically solid, they're solid articles,

00:15:25.720 | and I can find answers and encouragement also for myself and then to encourage other people

00:15:30.260 | with.

00:15:31.260 | Sobering.

00:15:32.260 | Sobering.

00:15:33.260 | Wow.

00:15:34.260 | I mean, it's just so great to have those that you know and love.

00:15:35.760 | I mean, it encourages us beyond what you can imagine to know that our resources are accessible

00:15:40.640 | for you to find them and then to use them as you serve others.

00:15:44.760 | That is just awesome, Faith.

00:15:46.040 | Thank you.

00:15:47.280 | You're talking right now to a bunch of listeners to the podcast, many of whom have never given

00:15:51.880 | in the past.

00:15:53.000 | What would you say to them in this opportunity for them to join you as a partner with Desiring

00:15:58.060 | God?

00:15:59.060 | Yeah, so I would just say pray about it.

00:16:01.400 | You know, pray about how God has used Desiring God in your life.

00:16:06.180 | And I would say that even small amounts matter.

00:16:09.260 | I gave back when I was a poor single student, you know, eating ramen for dinner.

00:16:13.040 | I didn't have a lot of money, but I was so impacted by the ministry.

00:16:17.380 | I wanted to give back.

00:16:18.660 | And then after I got married with my husband, we just prayed about it and wanted to give

00:16:24.060 | together.

00:16:25.900 | And I was just so thankful for what Desiring God is doing.

00:16:28.860 | So thankful for the help and the encouragement that they're offering people and all of it

00:16:32.780 | for free.

00:16:33.780 | I mean, it's unbelievable the amount of resources that are on the site for free.

00:16:37.700 | And I just wanted to be part of that.

00:16:39.100 | You know, the staff at Desiring God has become like a family to us.

00:16:43.300 | They walked with us through those miscarriages.

00:16:45.220 | They prayed for us.

00:16:46.500 | And it's just it's just been such an honor and a blessing to be a partner with them.

00:16:50.940 | Partner for 14 years back to your college years, Faith, you have made a huge investment

00:16:55.680 | in us.

00:16:56.680 | I thank you.

00:16:57.680 | It's been delightful to hear your story today.

00:17:00.020 | Thank you.

00:17:01.020 | We love you guys.

00:17:02.020 | You can see why I love talking with our ministry partners.

00:17:04.020 | It's always so encouraging.

00:17:06.060 | As we near the end of the year, it's a great reminder that we have generous friends all

00:17:09.380 | over Texas and all over the US and all over the world, really, who support this ministry,

00:17:14.980 | friends who have profited from Desiring God personally and then who have become partners

00:17:18.700 | with us to get behind the resources that we produce, to get them out and to make them

00:17:23.380 | free.

00:17:24.380 | And if those resources have impacted you through our articles, our books, our sermons, videos,

00:17:29.560 | this podcast, that's because someone has donated to make those resources available free of

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00:17:43.000 | To do so, become a monthly ministry partner.

00:17:45.600 | So much of our financial support comes from folks who give on average $30 a month.

00:17:50.700 | To set up monthly giving, go online to give.desiringgod.org.

00:17:55.680 | That's give.desiringgod.org.

00:17:59.480 | It is greatly appreciated.

00:18:01.400 | I'm your host Tony Rehnke and Pastor John and I return on Monday, diving back into that

00:18:05.280 | hotly debated text of Romans 9.22.

00:18:08.960 | See you then.

00:18:09.960 | Have a great weekend.

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Is It Normal to Have a Divided Heart?

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