How Does the Gospel Speak to Self-Hate?
00:00:00.000 | [Music]
00:00:05.000 | Self-hate.
00:00:06.000 | It's a topic that gets talked a lot about now.
00:00:09.720 | So how would you go about sharing the gospel with an unbelieving friend who struggles with
00:00:14.240 | self-hatred?
00:00:15.240 | "Hello Pastor John, thank you so much for what you've been doing.
00:00:19.040 | I'm Reynaldo from Jakarta.
00:00:21.160 | I listen to your podcast more than I read my Bible and I should change that habit."
00:00:25.200 | Yeah, exactly, Reynaldo.
00:00:27.660 | You should change that ratio immediately.
00:00:30.200 | My question, I have a friend and she is a Buddhist.
00:00:33.700 | She struggles with self-hate and I am confused about what I have to do about it.
00:00:38.960 | I listen to her and I want to help, but what should I do?
00:00:42.080 | I could give her a self-help book, I suppose.
00:00:45.000 | I'm afraid if I get straight to the gospel, which I don't have a problem saying to her,
00:00:49.640 | she will not listen to me.
00:00:51.440 | But if I give her a self-help book with tips about overcoming this anxiety, I'm afraid
00:00:55.280 | that she might improve without experiencing the forgiveness of Christ.
00:01:00.480 | So I guess I want to share the gospel with her sooner than later.
00:01:03.760 | If you had a non-Christian friend who struggled with self-hate, how would you proceed?
00:01:09.960 | "Well, let me just underline Tony's misgiving about reading or listening to Piper more than
00:01:18.120 | the Bible.
00:01:19.120 | That really is a serious problem, so fix that.
00:01:21.680 | The Bible is the source, Piper's just a muddy stream, so fix that."
00:01:29.280 | This question is difficult to answer because there's just so much to say from the Bible
00:01:35.880 | about someone struggling with self-hate.
00:01:41.040 | The problem in answering this question is not a lack of biblical material that addresses
00:01:47.320 | it.
00:01:48.320 | I don't know her, and I don't know Reynaldo.
00:01:52.640 | I just need so much more information about what her true issues are, what's gone on to
00:01:59.240 | bring her to this point, how is it expressing itself, how deep and serious is it, and on
00:02:05.380 | and on.
00:02:06.380 | So I really want to be careful here.
00:02:09.520 | I'm going to make some suggestions, but I make them provisionally as to what the best
00:02:15.360 | strategy here is, and trust that the Holy Spirit will help Reynaldo to know what to
00:02:21.160 | do with what I say.
00:02:23.180 | What about drawing her, Reynaldo, what about drawing her into a discussion about biblical
00:02:32.520 | passages that lead to a sharing of the gospel through her own curiosity and her own perplexity
00:02:42.520 | about those very texts, those passages that you share with her?
00:02:48.120 | Here's what I have in mind, and I'm thinking this might be a path forward because of the
00:02:52.440 | little bit I know about Buddhism and because it just comes to my mind as I pray for how
00:02:59.600 | to help.
00:03:01.640 | Here's what I have in mind.
00:03:03.680 | Ask her if you could give her some passages from the Christian Bible with a view to getting
00:03:11.720 | her opinion about what she thinks about them and how they make her feel.
00:03:17.560 | If she's a Buddhist, she would probably approach them in a more or less moral or philosophical
00:03:24.200 | way, so you wouldn't expect that she would have any grasp of the gospel at all.
00:03:32.340 | You simply want to get her into God's Word on a topic that is very relevant to her.
00:03:41.400 | Now if she's willing, then you might share with her texts like these.
00:03:47.200 | You might give her a whole Bible, put some bookmarks in, circle the verse or show her
00:03:52.160 | where to find them, and that way she would be able to read the context as well if she
00:03:56.160 | were curious.
00:03:57.680 | But you would be pointing her to verses like this.
00:04:00.840 | John 12:25, "Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world
00:04:09.660 | will keep it for eternal life."
00:04:12.280 | Now that will really perplex her, I would presume, really bother her, which is what
00:04:16.760 | we're after.
00:04:18.680 | Or John 15, 12, Jesus said, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved
00:04:26.880 | you.
00:04:28.040 | Greater love has no one than this, and that he lay down his life for his friends."
00:04:34.860 | Or Acts 12, 24, Paul says, "I do not count my life of any value, nor as precious to myself.
00:04:46.340 | If only I may finish my course and the ministry that I receive from the Lord Jesus to testify
00:04:52.900 | to the gospel of the grace of God."
00:04:54.880 | Or Revelation 12, 11, "They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word
00:05:02.200 | of their testimony, for they loved not their lives, even unto death."
00:05:09.480 | Or Matthew 22, 37, following, Jesus said, "You shall love the Lord your God with all
00:05:15.360 | your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind."
00:05:17.520 | This is the first and great commandment, and the second is like it.
00:05:20.620 | You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.
00:05:25.440 | On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.
00:05:29.300 | One more, Matthew 10, 28, following, "And do not fear those who kill the body, and after
00:05:34.420 | that cannot kill the soul.
00:05:36.740 | Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
00:05:39.980 | Are not two sparrows sold for a penny, and not one of them will fall to the ground apart
00:05:43.560 | from your father?
00:05:45.180 | Even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
00:05:47.080 | Fear not; therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows."
00:05:56.580 | Now my guess is these texts will simply leave her baffled, and hopefully she would, when
00:06:04.400 | you have your next conversation, she would say, "What in the world did you give me these
00:06:09.820 | texts for?"
00:06:11.780 | And you would say, "Well, let's just take them one at a time and show me what they made
00:06:16.180 | you think and feel."
00:06:17.620 | And you're into it.
00:06:18.620 | You're into it.
00:06:20.180 | Where you go from there would depend almost entirely on how she responds to these passages.
00:06:27.940 | My assumption is that she would be really perplexed about a passage like John 12, 25
00:06:35.540 | that calls for self-hate, and some that assume self-love, Matthew 22, 39.
00:06:44.820 | And then from there you'd want to lead her toward teachings about sin in relation to
00:06:50.900 | the glory of God, and talk about how that affects our worth.
00:06:56.300 | And then hopefully you'd go towards the coming of Christ and His death, who laid down
00:07:01.740 | His life, a kind of self-hate for the sake of our life, 1 Peter 2, 24.
00:07:08.460 | Then you'd move on from there to how that purchases sinners to love them and forgive
00:07:15.300 | them and accept them and possess them as His treasured possession, 1 Peter 2, 10.
00:07:22.980 | And that would lead on to a life of loving and treasuring Christ more than life itself,
00:07:29.700 | because He's so valuable.
00:07:31.580 | And that would lead on maybe to the promises you could give her that we will be changed
00:07:37.540 | into the image of Christ.
00:07:39.940 | All of our hateful, sinful ugliness will be taken away, and Jesus will return and transform
00:07:47.860 | our lowly body.
00:07:49.940 | I don't even know if her issue is body hate or if it's mind hate or soul hate.
00:07:54.540 | I don't know what's going on, but He's coming back to give all of us a brand new
00:07:59.580 | body that's glorious like His glorious body.
00:08:03.620 | So who knows where the Lord may lead these discussions, Reynaldo, but what I'm suggesting
00:08:10.740 | is this.
00:08:11.740 | Instead of a frontal presentation of the gospel, for which she might have zero categories in
00:08:19.100 | her Buddhism to comprehend at first, try drawing her into a serious give-and-take engagement
00:08:30.300 | with the Bible.
00:08:32.060 | The Bible is sharper than a two-edged sword, penetrating to the division of bone and marrow,
00:08:39.620 | soul and spirit, Hebrews 4.12.
00:08:42.220 | And then pray earnestly for the Lord's guidance toward the gospel, where she can see—I pray
00:08:52.100 | she will see—what self-hate looks like, feels like, when it is deeper than she thinks
00:09:02.940 | and yet redeemable by the amazing blood of Jesus and what God's done to save her.
00:09:09.980 | Yeah, amen.
00:09:10.980 | And as you were talking, Pastor John, I couldn't help but think that this is really a great
00:09:15.940 | way to evangelize any friend, you know, isolate some of the texts that most clearly speak
00:09:20.140 | to their own questions and life situations.
00:09:23.580 | Go and read them apart, come back together and study and discuss them together.
00:09:27.780 | I love that approach.
00:09:28.780 | It's so simple but brilliant.
00:09:30.420 | Thank you, Pastor John.
00:09:31.980 | Well, what's coming to America?
00:09:34.940 | Can we anticipate widespread spiritual revival or should we expect a deepening social degeneracy?
00:09:42.740 | What can we anticipate in America's future?
00:09:45.380 | It's a great question and it will end our week together.
00:09:48.580 | I'm your host Tony Reinke.
00:09:49.580 | I'll see you back here on Friday.
00:09:51.300 | Bye.
00:09:51.800 | [END]
00:09:53.800 | [END]
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