How Can I Balance Time-Blocking and a New Kid?

00:00:00.000 | [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:00:04.320 | All right, we have a question here from Kendo.

00:00:08.080 | Kendo asks, how soon after the birth of a child

00:00:11.120 | is it realistic to start seeking out routines and employing

00:00:14.480 | time block strategies?

00:00:17.840 | I would say your child should probably

00:00:20.320 | be time blocking by, let's say, six weeks.

00:00:23.040 | I don't know if that's appropriate.

00:00:24.760 | You can get them a bigger font planner

00:00:26.440 | because I know their eyesight's not as good.

00:00:28.200 | But if they're not time blocking from six weeks,

00:00:30.240 | I don't see how if you spool out that thread,

00:00:32.120 | they end up getting into Harvard.

00:00:33.640 | So let's be realistic here, Kendo.

00:00:35.320 | You've got to get on that.

00:00:37.000 | No, I know you're talking about yourself.

00:00:38.800 | So it's chaos after a child is born.

00:00:43.480 | The chaos has a different valence

00:00:45.560 | depending on which child it is.

00:00:47.880 | And it's exactly backwards from what you would expect.

00:00:50.320 | I mean, you'd expect it-- well, the first child--

00:00:51.800 | because objectively speaking, the first child

00:00:53.600 | should have the least impact because there's just

00:00:55.640 | one child in your life, and it's this big,

00:00:58.200 | and it sleeps most of the day.

00:01:00.240 | I guess you just get used to things.

00:01:01.800 | And then your second child is actually--

00:01:03.600 | the footprint's a little bit smaller.

00:01:05.200 | And by your third child, it's like, text me from the hospital

00:01:08.600 | when the baby's here.

00:01:09.520 | I'm in a meeting.

00:01:10.160 | So you get more used to it.

00:01:11.960 | I don't know.

00:01:12.520 | You just get used to the chaos.

00:01:14.880 | Go easy on yourself.

00:01:16.880 | You should not be immediately back

00:01:19.160 | into highly structured time control and time block

00:01:22.800 | planning.

00:01:24.280 | I do think it's pretty important within a week or two

00:01:29.120 | to start injecting back some sort of keystone habits

00:01:33.320 | or routines that are not focused on some sort of demonstrably

00:01:37.040 | large accomplishment, but are focused on self-signaling--

00:01:40.720 | that I still have some autonomy over my time,

00:01:44.280 | and I can still do things that I think are important,

00:01:48.040 | even though there's this chaos going on in my life right now.

00:01:51.280 | Again, this is particularly important for your first kid

00:01:53.840 | because, again, by the time you have your second or third kid,

00:01:55.640 | if you're going to have multiple kids,

00:01:56.800 | there's already family routines going on.

00:01:58.880 | The disruption will seem a little bit less.

00:02:01.160 | I remember this really clearly with my first.

00:02:04.000 | And I don't know exactly what this timing is,

00:02:05.880 | but it was chaos.

00:02:06.760 | We didn't know what we were doing.

00:02:08.200 | And there was a point--

00:02:09.920 | must have been a few weeks in, maybe even more.

00:02:12.000 | I'd have to go back.

00:02:12.720 | And I kept a diary at this time.

00:02:14.080 | I'd have to go back and read it.

00:02:15.560 | But I remember there was a point where the baby was sleeping,

00:02:19.800 | my wife was sleeping.

00:02:21.800 | And I went to another room and was just reading a book.

00:02:26.440 | And I have this memory.

00:02:28.920 | The book was I was reading, as one does, Descartes.

00:02:33.480 | So the famous--

00:02:35.280 | I forgot what it's called, but the famous Cartesian

00:02:39.480 | philosophy, where he sort of establishes existence

00:02:42.400 | from just the fact that I think, therefore, I am.

00:02:46.560 | And I remember thinking, oh, I can still

00:02:49.800 | do things that are intellectually interesting

00:02:54.200 | and unrelated to this child.

00:02:55.680 | I can't do a lot of things.

00:02:56.840 | I was very tired, and I only read for 20 minutes.

00:02:58.880 | But for whatever reason, that was really profound for me,

00:03:01.640 | is when I realized, OK, there's some things I can--

00:03:03.920 | you can still have some things you were doing

00:03:06.040 | that are unrelated to the child.

00:03:07.440 | And I think it's really important.

00:03:08.840 | And again, it can be a very small footprint.

00:03:10.840 | Don't try to sell it to your wife

00:03:14.000 | that it's important that your habit of,

00:03:16.560 | I need to golf four days a week, that's

00:03:19.240 | not going to fly, I think your habit of,

00:03:21.520 | it's really important that my routine of going on a guy's

00:03:24.960 | trip twice a month to Vegas--

00:03:27.160 | it's like an important keystone habit,

00:03:28.780 | so I'll be back in four days-- that's not going to fly.

00:03:31.520 | But if it's, I read a little bit before bed,

00:03:33.880 | I still do a walk every morning.

00:03:37.360 | There's a little exercise that still happens.

00:03:39.240 | Maybe you're not going to the gym for an hour and a half,

00:03:40.960 | but there's a pull-up bar in your garage,

00:03:42.960 | and you're doing that.

00:03:44.040 | So having some sort of routine almost immediately,

00:03:46.640 | by which I mean just habits that are easy and flexible,

00:03:50.280 | but have nothing to do with the kid that you execute,

00:03:52.440 | I think that's really important.

00:03:54.800 | [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:03:58.160 | (upbeat music)

How Can I Balance Time-Blocking and a New Kid?

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