How Do I Battle Subtle Temptations to Lust?
00:00:00.000 | [Music]
00:00:04.000 | How do I battle lust in temptations that are subtler than porn?
00:00:09.000 | It's a question I see often from men in talking about swimsuit issues and lingerie catalogs.
00:00:14.000 | This particular question comes into us from an anonymous man.
00:00:18.000 | "Hello Pastor John. Three years ago I turned away from porn for the final time.
00:00:22.000 | A perennial struggle for my life for the better part of a decade between ages 16 to 26.
00:00:27.000 | I'm now married and have not looked at porn for three years.
00:00:30.000 | I can only say it's a victory from the Lord to find deliverance in Christ from the bondage.
00:00:34.000 | In recent months, however, I'm lured to images of women in female marketing campaigns.
00:00:39.000 | My wife gets a number of catalogs from companies that make female workout clothes and lingerie.
00:00:43.000 | We're putting a stop to those mailings as much as possible, but a lot of them simply show up.
00:00:48.000 | It feels like the same allure as porn, the same challenge.
00:00:52.000 | Maybe less immediately dangerous, but very similar. I don't want to undersell this struggle.
00:00:57.000 | What advice do you have for those of us who have experienced victory over porn,
00:01:01.000 | now tempted by subtler and less scandalous objects of lust like this?"
00:01:05.000 | Well, may God get the glory now and from everyone who listens to this,
00:01:10.000 | that there are stories of triumph like this. There are.
00:01:13.000 | They're there by the thousand and we shouldn't be totally discouraged when we hear all the bad news
00:01:18.000 | about how prevalent pornography is among people and believers in particular.
00:01:22.000 | But this is glorious. Thank you for sharing it.
00:01:26.000 | I love the renewed sense of vigilance over the soul.
00:01:31.000 | It is such a good sign of spiritual reality when little things matter as well as big things in the pursuit of holiness.
00:01:40.000 | All impurity matters to God.
00:01:44.000 | Seemingly harmless magazines as well as adultery and rape.
00:01:49.000 | God lays claim on every impulse in the human heart.
00:01:55.000 | And the male eye is like a magnet in its attraction to excessive female skin
00:02:04.000 | or tantalizing gaps in clothing or featured bodily shapes through tight clothing.
00:02:11.000 | And God cares about these magnet impulses of the male eye and what we do with them.
00:02:19.000 | And I am glad that our friends, and this man in particular, cares as well.
00:02:26.000 | Every Christian should care about what appears to be such little things
00:02:33.000 | compared to the horrific things that we might be considering.
00:02:36.000 | So I'd like to point to five passages of scripture.
00:02:41.000 | Each of them addresses, I think, an aspect of the battle for purity,
00:02:47.000 | even in regard to a wife's women's magazines.
00:02:51.000 | And I know exactly what he's talking about. I could name them.
00:02:55.000 | I just I dumped three of them in the garbage yesterday.
00:02:57.000 | My wife's in Florida right now welcoming a grandbaby and the magazines keep coming.
00:03:03.000 | They all tend to come at once.
00:03:04.000 | You notice that they must all use the same mailing company.
00:03:07.000 | Three women's fashion magazines, clothing magazines, and there they go.
00:03:12.000 | I mean, or do I open them? Do I look for the bathing suits? Do I look for whatever?
00:03:16.000 | You know, what do you do?
00:03:17.000 | So I would sum up these five principles or guidelines or you decide what they should be called like this.
00:03:23.000 | Number one, faithfulness in little.
00:03:26.000 | Two, urgency in warfare.
00:03:28.000 | Three, fighting like a dead man.
00:03:31.000 | Four, making specific covenants.
00:03:34.000 | Five, praying for sovereign sway.
00:03:37.000 | So let me say a word and give you a verse for each of those and tell you what I mean
00:03:41.000 | and see whether this might just provide another piece of kindling on the fire of vigilance that is being expressed.
00:03:49.000 | Faithful in little. Luke 16 10.
00:03:52.000 | One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much.
00:03:57.000 | And one who is dishonest in a very little is dishonest in much.
00:04:01.000 | Now, that applies in context to money, but it is the same with regard to all temptations.
00:04:08.000 | I believe God cares about small things.
00:04:12.000 | And when we are faithful in the small, who knows what God might be willing to entrust us
00:04:19.000 | and what great things he might be willing to do through us if we are faithful in the smallest things.
00:04:25.000 | Number two, urgency in warfare.
00:04:28.000 | Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'You will not commit adultery.'
00:04:33.000 | But I say to you, everyone who looks on a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
00:04:41.000 | If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.
00:04:44.000 | For it is better that you lose one of your members than your whole body be thrown into hell."
00:04:51.000 | Suggesting that we tear out our eye because the issue is heaven and hell is a call to urgency.
00:04:59.000 | About as strong a call to urgency as I can imagine.
00:05:03.000 | My, oh, my. Misplaced sexual desires, not just acts, but desires, is, turns out, not such a small thing after all.
00:05:15.000 | So urgency is essential.
00:05:18.000 | Number three, fighting like a dead man.
00:05:21.000 | Now this is the heart of the uniquely Christian way of pursuing purity and fighting sin.
00:05:29.000 | Lots of people think it doesn't really matter how you kill sin, just do it, you know, just do it.
00:05:34.000 | Well, no, there's a Christian way to do it, and you might be turning it into a false way if you don't do it the Christian way.
00:05:42.000 | Colossians 3, 2 through 6, "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth."
00:05:49.000 | Why? "For you have died."
00:05:54.000 | Wow. So every Christian has to come to terms. Have I? Have I? What is that?
00:06:00.000 | What is it in my experience?
00:06:02.000 | You have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
00:06:09.000 | That's about the most amazing thing that can be said about a human being.
00:06:13.000 | You're dead and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
00:06:16.000 | Wow. Worth a few hours of meditation.
00:06:19.000 | Verse 4, "When Christ, who is your life, appears, you will appear with Him in glory."
00:06:26.000 | And here comes the imperative following from the indicative, "You have died."
00:06:30.000 | You have died, "Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you."
00:06:35.000 | And the first four things he mentions are what?
00:06:38.000 | Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and then he adds, "And covetousness, which is idolatry."
00:06:47.000 | On account of these, the wrath of God is coming.
00:06:50.000 | So here's the uniquely Christian paradox.
00:06:53.000 | You have died, so put to death.
00:06:57.000 | You have died, so put to death.
00:06:59.000 | You have died means that by faith alone, you really have, through identification with Jesus, died and risen and passed from death to life.
00:07:10.000 | Your life is hid with Christ in God.
00:07:13.000 | Sin's forgiven. Eternity secured.
00:07:15.000 | Now, fight! Kill sin!
00:07:18.000 | And the first four sins he mentions relate to sexual desire.
00:07:22.000 | Go figure.
00:07:23.000 | Nothing new under the sun.
00:07:25.000 | If you say, "I don't need to fight because I've died and I've been raised and I'm secure in heaven.
00:07:32.000 | Nothing can happen to me," you simply show that you're not dead.
00:07:35.000 | You're not, and therefore not secure.
00:07:38.000 | The fighting like a dead man, you're fighting like a dead man, is the proof you're a dead man.
00:07:46.000 | You don't fight, you're not dead.
00:07:48.000 | Number four, making specific covenants is absolutely essential, I think.
00:07:56.000 | Here's what I mean.
00:07:57.000 | Job 31.1 says, "I have made a covenant with my eyes.
00:08:03.000 | How then could I gaze at a virgin?"
00:08:07.000 | A covenant with the eyes.
00:08:09.000 | I think there's a difference between saying on the one hand—and I'm basing this on significant personal experience
00:08:17.000 | as well as biblical observation—there's a big difference between saying on the one hand,
00:08:22.000 | "I'll do my best by the power of the Spirit to walk in holiness and purity for the rest of my life."
00:08:28.000 | 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
00:08:31.000 | And saying on the other hand, "In the next four weeks, I will not crack open a single woman's magazine that comes in the mail."
00:08:44.000 | Not one page, period. No exceptions.
00:08:48.000 | If you leave your hormones wiggle room, which is what lifelong general commitments do,
00:08:55.000 | if you leave your hormones wiggle room without very specific commitments or covenants with your eyes,
00:09:02.000 | your hormones will almost inevitably convince your mind that this little exception is okay.
00:09:11.000 | They're just bathing suits.
00:09:12.000 | There is a place, in other words, for very specific covenants with our eyes and hands and feet.
00:09:19.000 | And I'll be honest, when Noelle left, and she'll be gone probably for a couple of weeks,
00:09:24.000 | I made one of those covenants with regard to a bunch of specific things.
00:09:28.000 | And I think that's crucial.
00:09:30.000 | Not that, "Oh, those should be—it's okay to sin when she's here."
00:09:34.000 | But there's something unique.
00:09:36.000 | There's a unique challenge when you're alone.
00:09:40.000 | Here's number five.
00:09:41.000 | Finally, pleading for sovereign sway.
00:09:45.000 | Psalm 119.37.
00:09:47.000 | This is a pleading prayer.
00:09:49.000 | "Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things, and give me life in your ways."
00:09:57.000 | So the psalmist knows that his eyes are like magnets drawn to "worthless things."
00:10:05.000 | Depersonalized female skin is a worthless thing.
00:10:11.000 | Now, women as persons are of infinite worth in relation to God.
00:10:18.000 | But lust depersonalizes skin and turns it into a worthless thing.
00:10:28.000 | It's demeaning to women.
00:10:30.000 | It's deadly for men.
00:10:32.000 | So the psalmist pleads for sovereign sway.
00:10:36.000 | "Turn my heart.
00:10:38.000 | Turn my will.
00:10:39.000 | Turn my eyes.
00:10:41.000 | Get sway, sovereign sway over my desires."
00:10:45.000 | So those are my five suggestions in the ongoing fight for purity,
00:10:50.000 | even when the great battles have been won against pornography.
00:10:54.000 | Number one, faithfulness in little.
00:10:57.000 | Two, urgency in warfare.
00:10:59.000 | Three, fighting like a dead man.
00:11:02.000 | Four, making specific covenants.
00:11:05.000 | Five, praying for sovereign sway.
00:11:09.000 | Great counsel from Scripture.
00:11:10.000 | Thank you for those five principles, Pastor John.
00:11:12.000 | And wherever you're listening in the midst of your busy day,
00:11:15.000 | thanks for joining us on the podcast.
00:11:17.000 | Be sure to subscribe to Ask Pastor John in your favorite podcast app or in YouTube or in Spotify.
00:11:23.000 | And for our episode archive or to submit a question of your own,
00:11:26.000 | go to DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.
00:11:30.000 | Well, how do we rid our minds of low thoughts about Christ?
00:11:34.000 | Well, we banish them by filling our minds and hearts with the wealth of revelation of who Christ is.
00:11:40.000 | And that's what we're doing in the month of December leading up to Christmas.
00:11:43.000 | And that's what we'll be doing next time on the podcast.
00:11:46.000 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.
00:11:48.000 | We'll see you on Wednesday.
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