Nine Forceful Warnings to Confront Your Friend’s Adultery
00:00:00.000 | [Music]
00:00:05.000 | A podcast listener named Nicole writes in to ask this, "Pastor John,
00:00:08.500 | how do I confront a dear friend who is in Christ when I see her getting involved with a married man?
00:00:15.320 | I have already confronted her once before telling her to flee from adultery. I'm afraid she is in deeper now than before.
00:00:23.520 | What scripture can I be pointed to to prepare for a very hard conversation with her?"
00:00:29.600 | I think when we're trying to persuade someone who is in the sway of deception and sin,
00:00:38.600 | we need to combine two kinds of scriptures at least.
00:00:41.600 | One is the kind that very seriously and soberly and maybe even frighteningly warns against the folly of sinful behavior.
00:00:53.600 | And the other is the kind of scriptures that give hope, that a person, if they hold fast to Jesus and turn from evil,
00:01:03.600 | he'll give them a better future than they think they're going to have through sin.
00:01:08.600 | So those are the two kinds of scripture that I would put together, probably in that order.
00:01:15.600 | I don't know. The Holy Spirit can lead in that regard.
00:01:18.600 | And then there are simple practical insights that the Lord may bring to mind that don't come from any particular scripture.
00:01:27.600 | And I'll mention one of those in just a minute.
00:01:29.600 | So here's a few texts from both of those categories that you could speak to her about.
00:01:37.600 | "She probably thinks that she loves him, but she is about to destroy him," according to the Bible.
00:01:48.600 | And pointing that out might help.
00:01:50.600 | Proverbs 7, 21, "With much seductive speech she persuades him. With her smooth talk she compels him.
00:01:58.600 | All at once he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver.
00:02:09.600 | As a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know that it will cost him his life."
00:02:17.600 | This is what she's doing to him. And she needs to think about that if she thinks she loves him.
00:02:22.600 | Or Proverbs 6, 32, "He who commits adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself."
00:02:30.600 | That's aiding and abetting on her part.
00:02:33.600 | Or Proverbs 9, 17, "Stolen water is sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
00:02:39.600 | But he does not know that the dead are there and her guests are in the depths of Sheol."
00:02:47.600 | Those are pretty serious words that she is drawing him into.
00:02:52.600 | She's about to cause him to commit adultery, even if they don't have sex, until he gets a divorce and marries her.
00:03:02.600 | Because Jesus said in Luke 16, 18, "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery."
00:03:08.600 | That's what she's drawing him into.
00:03:10.600 | Hebrews 13, 4 points out that she will be desecrating the marriage bed, his marriage bed, between a man and his wife, his wife and him.
00:03:26.600 | And the Bible says, "Hold them in honor. Don't desecrate them."
00:03:30.600 | So that verse says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.
00:03:39.600 | For God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterous."
00:03:44.600 | So she's defiling the marriage bed that God says, "Keep in honor."
00:03:49.600 | She'll be assaulting the image of Christ and his church as she pursues this relationship.
00:03:55.600 | She would be walking up to a portrait on the wall of the union of Christ and his church and slashing it with a knife.
00:04:06.600 | The picture is Ephesians 5, 31, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
00:04:16.600 | This mystery is profound, and I'm saying it refers to Christ and the church.
00:04:21.600 | So she's slashing this mystery by saying Christ and the church really don't have to be committed to each other.
00:04:29.600 | She needs to know that she's not acting in freedom.
00:04:34.600 | She's acting in lockstep with the prince of the power of the air.
00:04:39.600 | He has a hook in her nose, and he is leading her by her passions.
00:04:44.600 | That's the picture in Ephesians 2.
00:04:47.600 | We are—unbelievers are following—people who sin are following the course of this world,
00:04:54.600 | following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience,
00:04:59.600 | among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and so on.
00:05:07.600 | So the prince of the power of the air and the passions of our heart are in sync with each other,
00:05:13.600 | and any time we let our passions lead us into sin, we're not acting in freedom.
00:05:19.600 | We are in lockstep with the devil.
00:05:22.600 | And in all of this, she needs to realize that there's a deep problem in her heart,
00:05:29.600 | because Jesus said in Matthew 15, 19, "Out of the heart come adulteries."
00:05:37.600 | And so the deep issue here, something has gone wrong in her heart,
00:05:43.600 | and therefore she needs to be warned if she goes on in this unrepentant way, she will not inherit the kingdom of God.
00:05:51.600 | She and the man are like teenagers having sex in a boat that is just about to go over Niagara Falls,
00:06:00.600 | and it feels so good, they can't hear the roar of the water.
00:06:07.600 | So you, her friend, are like a person on the shore shouting, "Watch out! Watch out! The falls! The falls!"
00:06:16.600 | And then you'll do that with 1 Corinthians 6, 9, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?
00:06:24.600 | Don't be deceived. Neither sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers will enter the kingdom of God."
00:06:34.600 | So that's a cluster of texts that are on the warning side of Scripture
00:06:40.600 | that often is used by God to awaken people from their folly.
00:06:46.600 | But there are Scriptures that she's going to need to hear, because they may be pretty enmeshed, that there's hope.
00:06:52.600 | God is a God of forgiveness. He's a God of patience.
00:06:56.600 | And mainly she needs to hear that God is on the side of her best happiness.
00:07:04.600 | She probably believes right now this is her best bet for happiness.
00:07:10.600 | That's not true. God is her only hope for happiness, and she's about to choose against him.
00:07:16.600 | Psalm 16, 11, "You make known to me the path of life," and she's choosing against it.
00:07:22.600 | "In your presence, God, there is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
00:07:28.600 | That's what she's about to sacrifice. Or Jeremiah 29, 11, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.
00:07:36.600 | Plans for welfare, not for evil. You need to look right in the eye and say, "God has a better plan."
00:07:41.600 | He really does. You can't see it, but he really does.
00:07:45.600 | And I mentioned a minute ago, I suppose, that there are these sometimes practical insights that aren't rooted in a particular text.
00:07:54.600 | Here's one. Does she see that if this man is the kind of man who will be unfaithful to his wife
00:08:05.600 | and break his sacred promises to be faithful till death do us part,
00:08:11.600 | there is every reason to believe he will do the same thing to this woman.
00:08:16.600 | When their relationship hits hard times and another more attractive person comes along,
00:08:21.600 | does she want a man to say to her, "For better or for worse, I'm yours till death do us part."
00:08:29.600 | If she wants that, she's got the wrong man.
00:08:34.600 | But if she will hold fast to Christ, he does. He has a better future for her.
00:08:42.600 | Yes, amen. He does. Strong words, but loving words. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for listening in.
00:08:49.600 | Tomorrow we talk about what does it mean to receive Jesus into our lives.
00:08:54.600 | It's a key question, and we need to think about it very carefully.
00:08:57.600 | You can keep up with all of our episodes with our free app for your phone.
00:09:01.600 | And of course, you can get the apps and send us your questions online at our podcast home at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.
00:09:09.600 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke. I'll see you tomorrow.
00:09:12.600 | [end]
00:09:14.600 | [music]
00:09:16.600 | [music]
00:09:18.600 | [BLANK_AUDIO]