How Can I Resist a Critical Spirit?

00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)

00:00:02.580 | - Today we address a critical spirit.

00:00:07.680 | The question comes in from a listener named Alan.

00:00:09.800 | Here's his email.

00:00:10.640 | Pastor John, thank you for your insight

00:00:12.660 | on many topics in this podcast.

00:00:14.780 | My question for you is this.

00:00:15.960 | What does the Bible say about a critical spirit?

00:00:20.520 | What is a critical spirit?

00:00:22.160 | I assume holding high expectations

00:00:24.400 | is not the same thing as having a critical spirit.

00:00:28.320 | So when do high expectations become sinful judgmentalism?

00:00:33.120 | And how can I fight against this tendency inside of me

00:00:36.160 | to focus mostly on the failures of others?

00:00:40.520 | - That last question is exactly the right question

00:00:44.840 | to ask for all of us.

00:00:46.440 | And I include myself here,

00:00:48.760 | who am, John Piper is wired to be critical.

00:00:53.760 | I remember taking a personality test,

00:00:57.520 | and I think it was Myers-Briggs ages ago.

00:01:00.560 | And my letters came back, I can't remember.

00:01:04.040 | I think it was INTJ or something like that.

00:01:06.520 | This is not the kind of person you want to live with.

00:01:10.120 | (both laughing)

00:01:12.440 | I remember, you know, they said,

00:01:14.640 | "Okay, here's your number, Piper.

00:01:16.000 | And here's the narration

00:01:18.300 | of what that personality type is like."

00:01:21.240 | And you know what one of the mottos was?

00:01:23.480 | The motto was, "There's always room for improvement."

00:01:28.240 | - Oh, wow.

00:01:29.080 | (both laughing)

00:01:31.320 | - Now, it's good to know that about yourself

00:01:35.120 | because it means that you're a hard person to live with.

00:01:39.880 | Nobody likes to be under an incessantly scrupulous eye

00:01:45.760 | that basically says, "Well, no matter how hard

00:01:50.700 | and how well you do your job,

00:01:52.740 | it could have been done better."

00:01:54.480 | I mean, that makes for a pretty oppressive marriage

00:01:59.480 | or Sunday school class or church.

00:02:03.860 | So I had to be really on top

00:02:08.080 | of the sinful proclivities of this way

00:02:11.940 | that I was just born, right?

00:02:14.240 | No excuses here.

00:02:15.440 | I'm not trying to make anything easy.

00:02:19.020 | So this question, therefore,

00:02:20.920 | that's why I say this last question is so right.

00:02:25.440 | That is, what can we do or how can we think

00:02:29.020 | or are there steps we can take

00:02:31.180 | so that we do not become hypercritical people?

00:02:35.300 | And if we're wired that way, we can be changed

00:02:38.340 | or exercise self-control to channel it

00:02:41.740 | into properly analytical efforts and not people ruining.

00:02:47.240 | So what are the strategies that I have found in the Bible

00:02:52.240 | and in my own life that might be helpful here

00:02:55.940 | not to be hypercritical or judgmental person?

00:03:00.280 | You'd have to ask my wife how successful I've been at this,

00:03:03.140 | but I'm sure bent on being better.

00:03:07.260 | Number one, let's zero in on the word judgmental

00:03:10.680 | just because Alan referred to it

00:03:12.940 | and Jesus addresses it directly.

00:03:15.340 | Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye,

00:03:18.400 | but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

00:03:22.020 | Or how can you say to your brother,

00:03:23.460 | let me take the speck out of your eye?

00:03:25.280 | In other words, I'm a super hypercritical person.

00:03:27.180 | I see specks everywhere.

00:03:28.480 | So what can I do to take the speck out of your eye?

00:03:31.580 | When you've got a log hanging out of your eye, Jesus says,

00:03:34.520 | you hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye.

00:03:38.400 | Then you will see clearly to be a good eye surgeon

00:03:42.360 | and take the speck out of your brother's eye.

00:03:44.860 | So Jesus' answer to the question,

00:03:47.400 | how not to be hypercritical about the speck

00:03:49.640 | in your brother's eye is to be deeply aware

00:03:52.180 | of the log in your own.

00:03:53.820 | Now, I don't think that means that the very thing you spot

00:03:58.820 | in the other person that you think is a speck

00:04:01.600 | is worse in you than in him.

00:04:04.920 | I don't think it means that.

00:04:06.320 | That's not, that doesn't work.

00:04:08.560 | But what it means is there's plenty about me

00:04:14.560 | before God and man that should disincline me

00:04:19.560 | to be quick to judge others for specks

00:04:23.160 | because if I got the just judgment that I deserved,

00:04:28.160 | it would be devastating.

00:04:30.500 | That's, I think, the gist of what it means.

00:04:33.100 | And it really, really works.

00:04:34.940 | I mean, that has a deep effect on slowing down

00:04:39.940 | your criticism of others,

00:04:41.720 | at least de-intensifying it because you know

00:04:45.740 | that if God were to treat you with the same rigor

00:04:48.320 | that you're now treating him, you'd be undone.

00:04:51.020 | Number two, and this is really an extension

00:04:53.580 | of the first point, never lose sight

00:04:56.840 | of what you have been saved from or how much it cost

00:05:01.840 | and how much remaining corruption there is still in you.

00:05:08.020 | And I base this on Ephesians 4:32.

00:05:11.100 | Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,

00:05:13.640 | forgiving one another, forgiving one another

00:05:17.180 | as God in Christ forgave you.

00:05:19.100 | Forgiving as you have been forgiven carries an implication.

00:05:23.060 | And the implication is being ready to treat people

00:05:27.440 | way better than they deserve because we have been treated

00:05:32.320 | so much better than we deserve.

00:05:35.040 | So even though we don't call it forgiveness

00:05:38.700 | when we are less critical at the front end

00:05:42.040 | of a relationship, we're less critical,

00:05:44.520 | the root is the same.

00:05:46.260 | We treat people better than they deserve

00:05:50.060 | because God treats us better than we deserve.

00:05:55.920 | And it cost Christ his life for God to treat us that way.

00:06:00.920 | That's number two.

00:06:02.540 | Number three, fill your heart and mouth

00:06:06.100 | with thanksgiving for everything, Ephesians 5:20.

00:06:10.800 | Give thanks always and for everything.

00:06:14.380 | Be an amazingly, overflowingly thankful person.

00:06:18.960 | In other words, be radically, radically grateful.

00:06:22.940 | Practice waking up in the morning with thankfulness,

00:06:26.080 | walking through the day with thankfulness,

00:06:28.740 | going to bed at night with thankfulness

00:06:31.400 | because a thankful spirit pushes out a critical spirit.

00:06:36.400 | Number four, meditate on what love is

00:06:42.920 | and how essential love is to the Christian.

00:06:48.280 | What does it mean to love people?

00:06:51.160 | And I think most of us should memorize

00:06:54.880 | all of 1 Corinthians 13.

00:06:57.680 | That chapter is only 13 verses long.

00:07:00.280 | It's the most important chapter on love in the Bible.

00:07:03.320 | And you can memorize it in a week,

00:07:05.200 | if you put your mind to it,

00:07:06.560 | and then say it to yourself over and over again

00:07:09.720 | for a year or so, see what happens.

00:07:11.660 | Love is patient and kind.

00:07:15.780 | Love does not envy or boast.

00:07:18.880 | Love is not arrogant or rude.

00:07:21.640 | It does not insist on its own way.

00:07:24.240 | It's not irritable.

00:07:27.080 | Oh my goodness.

00:07:28.840 | It's not resentful, that it doesn't keep an account of wrongs.

00:07:32.280 | It does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

00:07:34.480 | but rejoices in the truth.

00:07:35.760 | Love bears all things, believes all things,

00:07:39.560 | hopes all things, endures all things.

00:07:42.960 | Good night.

00:07:44.360 | Memorize that, say it and say it,

00:07:48.680 | pray it and pray it until it's you,

00:07:51.840 | and God will heal you of much of your hypercritical spirit.

00:07:56.520 | Number five, this is real pragmatic

00:07:59.320 | and people doubt the value of this,

00:08:01.280 | and I'll explain why they shouldn't.

00:08:03.060 | Ask yourself this, what good is it going to do

00:08:08.060 | for anyone for me to constantly feel so critical of others?

00:08:12.160 | What good is it going to do anybody, me or them?

00:08:14.960 | Now, you may think a question like that

00:08:18.880 | is emotionally useless.

00:08:21.520 | Like, so what?

00:08:23.000 | I mean, that doesn't change me.

00:08:25.120 | Asking that question doesn't change me,

00:08:26.840 | it doesn't help me.

00:08:28.800 | Well, if that were true, if that question were useless,

00:08:33.720 | why did Jesus say when he was trying

00:08:37.860 | to help us overcome anxiety,

00:08:40.560 | which is just as hard to get rid of as a critical spirit,

00:08:43.600 | why did he say this?

00:08:45.080 | And which of you, by being anxious,

00:08:47.880 | can add a single hour to his span of life?

00:08:51.440 | So here's my paraphrase.

00:08:53.040 | It doesn't do any good to be anxious.

00:08:55.800 | It's just, it's pointless.

00:08:57.640 | You know, nothing happens, right?

00:08:59.600 | Well, why are you anxious?

00:09:01.080 | You're accomplishing nothing.

00:09:02.560 | And I know a lot of people hear that and say,

00:09:04.480 | well, how does that help?

00:09:06.400 | So say that about being hypercritical.

00:09:08.640 | It just doesn't do any good.

00:09:10.920 | Now, that's not the only strategy,

00:09:12.300 | but add that to your arsenal of weapons,

00:09:16.320 | because Jesus said, that's a good question to ask

00:09:18.800 | when it comes to lots of sins.

00:09:20.360 | What good do they do it?

00:09:21.680 | How are you helping anybody with that particular bent?

00:09:25.000 | Number six, cultivate a view of life, hour by hour,

00:09:30.000 | that is more expansive, bigger heart, global, universal,

00:09:36.800 | all-encompassing, God-entranced.

00:09:40.160 | Look at the whole of life.

00:09:42.900 | Look at the whole of the universe.

00:09:44.320 | Look at the whole of nature.

00:09:46.120 | Look how big it is,

00:09:47.280 | and look at all of its dazzling wonders,

00:09:50.840 | and be amazed at the world you're walking through.

00:09:54.840 | So my favorite lit teacher in college, Clyde Kilby,

00:09:59.220 | put it like this.

00:10:00.220 | This is one of his resolutions for mental health.

00:10:03.800 | I shall open my eyes and ears.

00:10:05.940 | Once every day, I shall simply stare at a tree,

00:10:11.640 | a flower, a cloud, or a person.

00:10:16.800 | I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are,

00:10:21.800 | but simply be glad that they are.

00:10:27.040 | I shall joyfully allow them the mystery

00:10:30.160 | of what Lewis calls their, quote,

00:10:33.040 | "Divine, magical, terrifying, and ecstatic existence."

00:10:38.040 | So this afternoon, I'm walking back after chapel

00:10:42.720 | across my revelatory bridge,

00:10:45.240 | listening on my phone to the history of the Baptists,

00:10:50.240 | and it hit me, turn that thing off.

00:10:53.840 | You can listen to that while you're brushing your teeth.

00:10:55.840 | You are walking under God's blue sky.

00:10:59.280 | Look up.

00:11:00.480 | Look at those clouds, John.

00:11:02.400 | Just look at 'em.

00:11:03.240 | Let 'em minister to you.

00:11:04.980 | You're inside all day long.

00:11:06.460 | You get 10 minutes under God's glory,

00:11:09.360 | and you're gonna listen to a book?

00:11:11.720 | Much of our hypercritical bent is owing to the fact

00:11:16.560 | that our world has shrunk down to the tiny little situation

00:11:21.440 | where this molehill of a speck in a person's eye,

00:11:26.320 | this molehill of a problem looks 100 times bigger

00:11:29.920 | than it really is because we have made our world so small

00:11:34.920 | that this feels big.

00:11:37.120 | We have focused our lens so narrowly

00:11:39.920 | that we can't see the glories all around us.

00:11:41.840 | So that's number six.

00:11:43.040 | Finally, number seven, fill your mind and your heart

00:11:47.160 | and your mouth with praise.

00:11:49.800 | That's very much like thanks, but not quite the same.

00:11:52.760 | Decades ago, I read this quote from C.S. Lewis.

00:11:55.200 | Tony knows it.

00:11:56.040 | Lots of you probably who are listening have heard this.

00:11:58.480 | Let me say it again just 'cause it's so healing.

00:12:01.840 | Oh my goodness, when I first read this,

00:12:03.880 | it just washed over me like a cleansing flood

00:12:07.380 | for how not to be a cranky person.

00:12:10.400 | Here's what Lewis said about praise.

00:12:12.000 | "The most obvious fact about praise strangely escaped me.

00:12:17.000 | I thought of it in terms of compliment,

00:12:18.960 | approval, the giving of honor.

00:12:20.560 | I had never noticed that all enjoyment

00:12:24.400 | spontaneously overflows in praise.

00:12:27.600 | The world rings with praise.

00:12:30.120 | Lovers praising their mistresses,

00:12:33.240 | readers, their favorite poet,

00:12:35.160 | walkers praising the countryside,

00:12:37.560 | players praising their favorite game,

00:12:40.380 | praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors,

00:12:44.440 | motors, horses, colleges, countries,

00:12:47.760 | historical personages, children, flowers,

00:12:50.720 | mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles,

00:12:54.060 | even sometimes politicians and scholars.

00:12:57.020 | I had not noticed how the humblest

00:13:01.180 | and at the same time most balanced

00:13:03.100 | and capacious minds praised most

00:13:08.060 | while the cranks and the misfits and malcontents

00:13:13.060 | and may I add hypercritical types,

00:13:16.100 | INTJ types praised least."

00:13:20.360 | So there it is.

00:13:23.100 | The remedy to not be a cranky,

00:13:26.860 | hypercritical misfit is to be full of praise.

00:13:31.860 | So fix your eyes on God and the wonders

00:13:36.780 | of his creation and redemption and be filled with praise.

00:13:41.780 | - Thank you, Pastor John.

00:13:43.020 | Excellent question, Alan.

00:13:44.320 | Thank you for that.

00:13:45.220 | And thank you for joining us today.

00:13:46.520 | You can ask a question of your own.

00:13:48.040 | You can search our growing archive

00:13:49.420 | or subscribe to the podcast,

00:13:50.820 | all at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.

00:13:55.980 | Well, God can prevent every trial from entering our lives.

00:14:00.260 | He can and he doesn't.

00:14:03.660 | Why not?

00:14:05.220 | That's the question every believer must eventually answer,

00:14:07.740 | especially if you believe that God is all-powerful.

00:14:10.420 | If he is, why does he allow trials into our lives?

00:14:15.420 | That's on the table next time.

00:14:16.700 | I'm your host, Tony Rehnke.

00:14:17.900 | We'll see you back here on Wednesday.

00:14:20.100 | Thanks for listening.

00:14:21.100 | (upbeat music)

00:14:23.680 | (upbeat music)

00:14:26.260 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

How Can I Resist a Critical Spirit?

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